DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Author: Courtesy: Dr. Rick Brinkman Soumindra Chatterjee Dr. Rick Kirschner SIVA SIVANI INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

ABOUT THE AUTHORS Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are professional speakers. Co – authors of the bestselling audio-video tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult People and the best selling book Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. They have shared their insights with audiences worldwide through their company R & R Productions. Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner

Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner are professional speakers.

Co – authors of the bestselling audio-video tapes and book How to Deal with Difficult People and the best selling book Dealing with People You Can’t Stand.

They have shared their insights with audiences worldwide through their company R & R Productions.

Dr. R Brinkman Dr. R Kirschner

ABOUT THE BOOK Identify ten bothersome behaviors Deal successfully with each of them Understand the thought and fears of difficult people An understanding of whom we are dealing with and what motivates them Turn conflict into cooperation

Identify ten bothersome behaviors

Deal successfully with each of them

Understand the thought and fears of difficult people

An understanding of whom we are dealing with and what motivates them

Turn conflict into cooperation

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE THE TANK THE KNOW IT ALL THE WHINER THE SNIPER THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL THE MAYBE PERSON THE GRENADE THE YES PERSON THE NOTHING PERSON THE NO PERSON

THE TANK

CHOOSE YOUR APPROACH 1. Stay and do nothing 2. Vote with your feet 3. Change your attitude 4. Change your behavior

1. Stay and do nothing

2. Vote with your feet

3. Change your attitude

4. Change your behavior

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENTS Four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation: Get the task done. Get the task right. Get along with people. Get appreciation from people.

Four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation:

Get the task done.

Get the task right.

Get along with people.

Get appreciation from people.

UNDERSTAND THE FOUR INTENT GET APPRECIATED THE GRENADE THE FRIENDLY SNIPER THE THINK THEY KNOW – IT - ALL GET IT RIGHT THE WHINER THE NO PERSON THE NOTHING PERSON GET ALONG THE NOTHING PERSON THE YES PERSON THE MAYBE PERSON GET IT DONE THE TANK THE SNIPER THE KNOW IT ALL

GET APPRECIATED

THE GRENADE

THE FRIENDLY SNIPER

THE THINK THEY KNOW – IT - ALL

GET IT RIGHT

THE WHINER

THE NO PERSON

THE NOTHING PERSON

GET ALONG

THE NOTHING PERSON

THE YES PERSON

THE MAYBE PERSON

GET IT DONE

THE TANK

THE SNIPER

THE KNOW IT ALL

RECOGNIZE THE RESULTS OF THREATENED INTENTS NORMAL ZONE TASK FOCUS PEOPLE FOCUS GET IT DONE GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG GET APPRECIATED PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PERFECTIONIST CONTROLLING APPROVAL SEEKING ATTENTION GETTING

THE TANK 1. Stand your ground 3. Interrupt 4. Don’t defend, explain, or justify 5. Aim at a “Bottom Line” 6. Peace with Honor

1. Stand your ground

3. Interrupt

4. Don’t defend, explain, or justify

5. Aim at a “Bottom Line”

6. Peace with Honor

THE SNIPER 1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack 2. Ask the “Relevancy” question 3. Distinguish between friendly sniper & malicious sniper 4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN ! 5. Suggest a friendly future Don’t overreact

1. Stop, Look, & Backtrack

2. Ask the “Relevancy” question

3. Distinguish between friendly sniper & malicious sniper

4. If he/she will talk -- LISTEN !

5. Suggest a friendly future

Don’t overreact

THE KNOW-IT-ALL 1. Be prepared and know your stuff 2. Don’t resent the Know – It - All 3. Present views politely 5. Acknowledge his/her competence

1. Be prepared and know your stuff

2. Don’t resent the Know – It - All

3. Present views politely

5. Acknowledge his/her competence

THE THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL 1. Give them a little attention 2. Ask for specifics 3. State facts as you know them 4. Provide a way out 5. Handle alone whenever possible

1. Give them a little attention

2. Ask for specifics

3. State facts as you know them

4. Provide a way out

5. Handle alone whenever possible

THE WHINER 1. Listen 2. Prepare to interrupt – get specific 3. Acknowledge the complaint 4. Don’t ask Whiners why they’re complaining 5. Use limiting responses 6. Move to problem solving

1. Listen

2. Prepare to interrupt – get specific

3. Acknowledge the complaint

4. Don’t ask Whiners why they’re complaining

5. Use limiting responses

6. Move to problem solving

THE MAYBE PERSON 1. Help them voice concerns 2. Provide face-to-face support when possible 3. Use a decision – making process 4. Re – assure and follow through

1. Help them voice concerns

2. Provide face-to-face support when possible

3. Use a decision – making process

4. Re – assure and follow through

THE YES PERSON Make the Yes Person comfortable Talk Honestly Help them learn to plan Ensure commitment

Make the Yes Person comfortable

Talk Honestly

Help them learn to plan

Ensure commitment

THE NOTHING PERSON Plan enough time Lighten it up Avoid getting angry Show the future

Plan enough time

Lighten it up

Avoid getting angry

Show the future

THE GRENADE Get the attention Show your concerns Reduce intensity Avoid setting off the Grenade

Get the attention

Show your concerns

Reduce intensity

Avoid setting off the Grenade

THE NO PERSON Go with the flow Use them as a resource Give them time to think Appreciate the NO person

Go with the flow

Use them as a resource

Give them time to think

Appreciate the NO person

CONCLUSION Even if we can’t change difficult people, we can communicate with them in such a way that they change themselves. It’s a matter of knowing how to get through to them when they’re behaving badly.

Even if we can’t change difficult people, we can communicate with them in such a way that they change themselves. It’s a matter of knowing how to get through to them when they’re behaving badly.

Courtesy SOUMINDRA CHATTERJEE