Conflict Resolution V2

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Conflict Resolution
District 74 Toastmasters Leadership Institute
7 November 2009

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Conflict Resolution V2

  1. 1. Conflict Resolution <br />Tony Lydall<br />
  2. 2. 2<br />Introduction<br />This is a competitive world<br />Competition creates conflict<br />Strong leaders resolve conflict<br />
  3. 3. 3<br />Group Activity<br />You are a Division Governor<br />You hear from several clubs that one of your Area Governors is weak and ineffective, causing conflict<br />How do you handle it?<br />
  4. 4. 4<br />What good leaders do<br />To help resolve conflict, leaders create:<br />Direction – vision, mission, goals, plans<br />Collaboration – team building, delegation<br />Motivation – feedback, support, recognition<br />
  5. 5. 5<br />What is conflict?<br />Conflict is a real or perceived difference<br /> where:<br />Two or more parties think they are right - and all others are wrong<br />But, everybody is right in some way<br />And everybody is wrong in some way<br />
  6. 6. 6<br />Is conflict good or bad?<br />How do you feel about conflict?<br />
  7. 7. 7<br />The Good News<br />Well-managed conflict gives:<br />Better understanding<br />Increased group cohesion <br />Improved self-knowledge<br />
  8. 8. 8<br />Common causes of conflict<br />Personalities<br />Issues<br />Misperceptions<br />
  9. 9. 9<br />Personalities<br /> Some team members<br />Are in it for themselves<br />Don’t like the others<br />Know it all<br />Are argumentative<br />
  10. 10. 10<br />Issues<br />Differing<br /><ul><li>Objectives
  11. 11. Expectations
  12. 12. Commitment
  13. 13. Ability</li></li></ul><li>11<br />Misperceptions<br /><ul><li>Own prejudices/paradigms
  14. 14. Culture/language
  15. 15. Commitment
  16. 16. Misinformation</li></ul>Perception becomes reality<br />
  17. 17. 12<br />Conflict Styles<br />Competitive<br />Collaborative<br />Compromising<br />Accommodating<br />Avoiding<br />Thomas and Kilmann<br />
  18. 18. 13<br />Competitive<br />Stand firm<br />Know what they want<br />Position themselves for power<br />Appropriate<br />In an emergency / quick decision<br />Can leave people resentful<br />
  19. 19. 14<br />Collaborative<br />Meet needs of all<br />Co-operate effectively<br />Acknowledge everyone is important<br />Appropriate<br />When variety of viewpoints or previous conflict<br />
  20. 20. 15<br />Compromising<br />Solution will partially satisfy all<br />But all will give up something<br />Appropriate<br />When cost of conflict is high<br />When strengths are equal<br />When deadline tight<br />
  21. 21. 16<br />Accommodating<br />Willingness to meet others’ needs<br />Knowing when to give in<br />Appropriate<br />When issues matter more to others<br />When peace is worth more than winning <br />Unlikely to give best outcome<br />
  22. 22. 17<br />Avoiding <br />Seeking to evade conflict entirely<br />Delegating controversial decisions<br />Accepting default decisions<br />Appropriate<br />When victory is impossible<br />When controversy is trivial<br />Weak and ineffective result<br />
  23. 23. 18<br />What’s your style?<br />Group discussion<br />
  24. 24. 19<br />Negative responses<br />Violence<br />Silence<br />
  25. 25. 20<br />IBR* Approach<br /><ul><li>Make good relations first priority
  26. 26. Keep people and problems separate
  27. 27. Listen first, talk second
  28. 28. Pay attention to interests
  29. 29. Get and set out the facts
  30. 30. Explore options together</li></ul>* Interest-Based Relational Approach<br />
  31. 31. 21<br />Conflict Resolution Process<br /><ul><li>Identify overriding conflict style - yours and your team’s
  32. 32. Different styles may suit different situations
  33. 33. Look at circumstances and think about the appropriate style</li></li></ul><li>22<br />Step One – Set the Scene<br /><ul><li>Understand conflict may be mutual
  34. 34. Listen actively
  35. 35. Restate/paraphrase
  36. 36. Summarise
  37. 37. Use assertive approach</li></li></ul><li>23<br />Step Two – Gather Information<br />Interests – Needs – Concerns<br /><ul><li>Ask for others’ viewpoints
  38. 38. Respect opinions
  39. 39. Focus on issues, not personalities
  40. 40. Understand the conflict objectively </li></li></ul><li>24<br />Step Three – Agree the Problem <br />Identify issues clearly and concisely <br />List details of the perceived problem<br />Eliminate items agreed or not real<br />Agree that what remains is the problem<br />Remain flexible <br />Seems obvious, can be difficult<br />
  41. 41. 25<br />Step Four – Brainstorm Solution<br />Be open to all ideas<br />Let everyone contribute<br />Quantity counts<br />Do not evaluate<br />Categorise and summarise ideas<br />
  42. 42. 26<br />Step Five – Negotiate a Solution <br /><ul><li>Work from summarised ideas
  43. 43. Once again, seek common ground
  44. 44. Focus on remaining issues
  45. 45. Use win-win negotiation techniques </li></li></ul><li>27<br />Negotiating Successfully<br /> Win-win negotiation is a careful exploration of your position and the other person’s position ...<br /> ... with the goal of finding a mutually acceptable compromise that gives you both as much of what you want as possible<br />
  46. 46. 28<br />Win-Win Negotiation <br />Finding a fair compromise <br /><ul><li>Prepare thoroughly
  47. 47. Be positive
  48. 48. Be assertive</li></li></ul><li>29<br />Win-Win Preparation ...<br /><ul><li>List goals
  49. 49. Check relationships
  50. 50. Decide trades
  51. 51. Explore alternatives
  52. 52. Project expected outcomes</li></li></ul><li>30<br />Win-Win Preparation ...<br /><ul><li>Consider consequences
  53. 53. Establish who has the power
  54. 54. Work out possible solutions</li></li></ul><li>31<br />Win-Win: Style is Critical<br /><ul><li>Discuss and consider people's emotional needs
  55. 55. Control your own emotions
  56. 56. Both parties should feel positive afterwards</li></li></ul><li>32<br />Group discussion<br />Do you have any bridges to cross <br />to get to win-win?<br />
  57. 57. 33<br />Roleplay<br />During your division/area council meeting, a member regularly and disrespectfully interrupts the speaker. <br />Inappropriate comments are made about the speaker or what is being said, creating conflict in the council. <br />What do you do?<br />
  58. 58. 34<br />Conclusion ...<br />Open communication is important<br />Allow all parties to express their views<br />Be respectful, empathetic and caring <br />Don’t let the discussion dissolve into accusations, blame or debate<br />Avoid previous disagreements or behaviours<br />
  59. 59. 35<br />Limit discussion to the facts<br />Find the root cause<br />Stay focussed<br />Be a good listener, ask questions<br />List possible solutions, find best one<br />Keep moving forward ...<br />Conclusion ...<br />
  60. 60. 36<br />Question time<br />?<br />

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