How to save your marriage

==== ====How to save your marriagehttp://kamal416.SAVEMARRIA.hop.clickbank.net==== ====HOW TO SAVE A MARRIAGE============================One point is clear: There are no problemless marriages. There are ups and downs in everyrelationship. And despite what Hollywood will sell you, no one in this real world feels loved in wordand act or fulfilled every single day. But three common elements show up again and again amongthose who have endured "the burden and heat of the day" and gone on to saving their marriagefrom divorce.A spiritually-centered commitment to save marriage from divorce that lasts despite arguments,pain and denial, and continues to last through adjustments and pressures.Sharing moments with each other, however rare, when there really is personal and intimatesharing, and the struggle seems worth it. (This can mean a personal sense of spiritual well-beingeven while the partner seems unappreciative or unresponsive.}Saving your marriage requires a willingness to take time and energy to make it work. This oftenmeans radical adjustments and patience.I will use three real-life examples to emphasize this last point.The first example is of a couple "unequally yoked," both already had been divorced and thecurrent marriage was looking like a repeat failure. The wife had been a practicing Christian all herlife. Her husband was religiously indifferent. She was educated and accomplished. He wascompetent, high-incomed. Saving their marriage did not look possible.After his conversion to Christianity, and even after several years of active involvement in theircongregation, the husband had come to a stark realization: He pretended to give his wifeeverything but had missed actually giving himself to her. For the first time in his life, he recognizedthat he lived his life as a loner, a very self-centered man. They didnt really have a relationship. Hewas just walking through the motions with his wife rather than cherishing her. He said "To save mymarriage today and not wait for another divorce I resolved to put her at the heart of my very busylife." He began demonstrating little sensitive ways of affection-a note, a touch, a phone call toshow her that she was important to him. From that moment things changed. Their separationended and a new relationship opened up. Even their grown-up children now are able to sense atangible love between them.Example #2: Lets read to how the wife described their relationship in todays fast-paced work-a-day world: "It used to be that if John occupied a chair in our home, he was either working with thechecks at the beginning of the month, counseling or listening to someone on the phone, eating,sound asleep or impatiently "wasting his time" watching a TV program I insisted he might enjoy.

Our moments of "together-time" were so fleeting, and usually caught on the dead run, emotionallyif not physically. The love we had for each other was felt and often expressed but seldom reallyenjoyed." Are you also looking for some way of saving your marriage?Then a health problem arose that kept the John home in a long convalescence. "That illnesshelped save our marriage from divorce. Since his illness, we have shared wonderful momentstogether. I have sat for hours by the side of his bed or chair, and there was no need for us tospeak. We have felt together a peace and companionship that cannot be sandwiched into a fewquiet moments of frantically scheduled lives. I have seen John hold our little daughter for longperiods of time in perfect peace and enjoyment. I have seen our child absorb her fathers new kindof love and reciprocate in kind. All of our family relationships have taken on a new depth, becausewe have been able to share with each other not just more experiences but more understanding. Inow believe with continued work we can save our marriage today."To "save my marriage today" you cant wait for such a crisis in order to find this kind of beauty. Ordo you have to be driving past the "Save Marriage From Divorce" warning signs along to roadbefore you can make yourself accept the conditions that will bring back the loving relationship intoyour life?One aspect of saving your marriage is to realize and remember why you got married in the firstplace.For the last example, the wife was struggling as to why her marital relationship was not working.Then she came to realize that she was telling her husband that she loved him BUT that he had tochange this or that in order to be acceptable. In affect she was saying, I love you, dear, but I cantaccept your actions." She understood that this was coming out as rejection of him.She realized that "to save my marriage today I had to remember the love I felt when I married him.I had to be able to say, I love you, and I accept you as you are, actions and all." But she wouldhave to feel what she was saying. She understood she already was saying all the right things andperforming all the right actions. But there was lurking resentment in her heart for all of hisdisruptions. She knew she had to make a change in her heart and it would not be easy.After some time of being committed to saving your marriage, you may be able to say as she did:"To my joy I found I actually could accept my husband, actions and all. I suddenly realized howmuch more important he was than anything he was doing. On that day our relationship and ourmarriage began to change. No longer were we ensnared in the save marriage from divorce panicmode and stress that had strained our relationship even further. He now felt my love and baskedin its warmth. He calmed down and became my most cherished partner. I was overwhelmed bywhat I was witnessing. And he was overcome by the changes he felt in me." Are you ready to putin the effort to saving your marriage?Hard-headed, thwarted, alienated spouses may feel that unconditional love is a fraud. Certainly itwill take time and effort to save a damaged relationship and saving your marriage. But let mesuggest now three outcomes to unconditional love in the home.First, you will have the joy of seeing your spouse become more and more a person of greatness.Do you know the story of Johnny Lingo? In the story, a girl who was considered plain by all who

knew her (including her father) became an "eight-cow woman" of beauty. She became an eight-cow woman only when she learned that was how her man felt about her. It was his love, howmuch he cared, that created the beauty in her that no one else could see. It may seem crazy but itis true that love is physically as well as spiritually transforming. And it can save your marriage aswell. Who has not seen how love for a face generates love in a face, and how a loving facebecomes a lovable face, eliciting the very love it bestows? Let me ask again, are you willing to putin the effort to saving your marriage?We have all seen that bickering and arguing will subtract from and weaken the bond in themarriage. Playing tricks, nagging, "sending back the hurt I receive," pleading, denial, cold shoulderdistance, playing hard to get-these do not save marriage from divorce but rather make greatstrides backwards in the trust in the relationship.So the second outcome to unconditional love that will save marriage from divorce is that when yougive unconditional love, even in the presence of bitterness and abuse-when you return a look fullof daggers with a look full of love-eventually, if your partner is sensitive, they will want to give thesame back. In the end such positive reciprocation will enrich you and your relationship and work tosaving your marriage. Over the long haul it is hard to be cared for and not care in return. Theresulting bond will be greater than the sum of each person alone could have been. In thesecircumstances one plus one is far more than two. Who can say how whether one more kind wordcould save a marriage from divorce?In many troubled marriages there is contention, confrontation, lack of trust, hurt feelings, janglednerves, little compassion and no desire to change or forgive. Is it easier to give up than to makethe effort to saving your marriage from divorce?So, the third outcome of unconditional love to look for is peace. Peace comes in your relationshipwhen you return no evil, when you are kind in the presence of cruelty, when you are patientdespite the presence of impatience. This peace removes sadness and sorrow. And it removes thestrongest self-deception: It is all "his"/"her" fault. Each day say to yourself, "If I want to save mymarriage today, I will seek peace."Many of us have no long-range vision in much of our struggle. We think only of the moment-thistime, this place, this circumstance, to save my marriage today! But if we really want to savemarriage from divorce we must temper our short term reactions and think long term, seeking to:see our partner as an "eight-cow" person of greatness; to give and receive unconditional love; andto look for peace.Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but who can count the apples in a seed? What will resultfrom your dedication to saving your marriage?What matters is what takes place in your home and your own soul. If you are committed to saveyour marriage, you must start from within yourself and reflect on those areas discussed in thisarticle that apply to you, your relationship with your spouse and your commitment to saving yourmarriage today and everyday.

===========================================================Save MarriageSave your marriage & avoid divorceIf there is hope, there is a way==== ====How to save your marriagehttp://kamal416.SAVEMARRIA.hop.clickbank.net==== ====

How to save your marriage

by Qadar Ahmed

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How to save your marriage Document Transcript