Pc session 3 2010

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Pc session 3 2010

  1. 1. Pastoral Counseling Session 3
  2. 2. Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership- The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction (chap. 1) By Gary L. McIntosh & Samuel D. Rima Pause and Reflect
  3. 3. The Dark Side (Quotes) <ul><li>“ It is the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined or remain unknown to us until we experience until we experience an emotional explosion…” (p. 22) </li></ul>
  4. 4. The Dark Side (Quotes) <ul><li>“ This denial and repression along with the resulting emotional explosion are particularly common among religious leaders who feel the constant need to be in total control of their lives so they can effectively minister to others. ” (p. 23) </li></ul>
  5. 5. The Dark Side (Quotes) <ul><li>“ The Dark Side is a normal development of life and can be an agent for both good and bad in our lives.” (p. 29) </li></ul>
  6. 6. Understanding The Ministry <ul><li>The 5 P’s of a Counselor </li></ul><ul><li>The role of a PROPHET </li></ul><ul><li>The role of a PRESENCE </li></ul><ul><li>The role of a PARTNER </li></ul><ul><li>The role of a PRIEST </li></ul><ul><li>The role of a PATH Blazer </li></ul>
  7. 7. Prophet <ul><li>Foretelling (future) VS. Forthtelling (present) </li></ul><ul><li>“ Some scholars suggest that the term “prophet” stressed the objective or active work of God’s spokesman…” </li></ul><ul><li>http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/35-principles-of-bible-prophecy </li></ul>
  8. 8. Prophet <ul><li>Foretelling versus Forthtelling </li></ul><ul><li>“ Some scholars suggest that the term “prophet” stressed the objective or active work of God’s spokesman…” </li></ul><ul><li>http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/35-principles-of-bible-prophecy </li></ul>We are to point people back to God!
  9. 9. Presence <ul><li>John 14:16 - &quot;I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper” </li></ul><ul><li>THE HOLY SPIRIT IN US AND THROUGH US </li></ul>Gr. Paraklesis, which means “to come along side to encourage” a “helper” Incarnational Ministry
  10. 10. Partner <ul><li>Gal. 6:2 “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” </li></ul><ul><li>WE ARE TO HELP AND NOT TAKE OVER </li></ul>
  11. 11. Priest <ul><li>To bring the needs of people before God and to offer HOPE </li></ul>
  12. 12. Path Blazer <ul><li>To help people discover God in their situation, difficulty, and themselves. </li></ul>
  13. 13. Definition <ul><li>“ Pastoral Counseling is the ministry God has entrusted to His under shepherds by ASSISTING people go through pressures in life, HELPING them rise up when people are done and out, SUPPORTING them adjust in the changes of their seasons, GUIDING them discern God’s will for their lives, and also to BOOST their desire for growth and productivity. This will be pursued in the knowledge that God wants his people to live life to fullest because that is the very will of God.” H. Cruz </li></ul>
  14. 14. 5 Key Words <ul><li>ASSISTING </li></ul><ul><li>HELPING </li></ul><ul><li>SUPPORTING </li></ul><ul><li>GUIDING </li></ul><ul><li>BOOST </li></ul>
  15. 15. Guiding People Their Seasons
  16. 16. Sharing Time: <ul><li>After reading the chapter on Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, what have you learned personally and how does it apply to your life today? </li></ul>
  17. 17. I. In This Kingdom
  18. 18. A. 2 Agendas <ul><li>John 10:10 </li></ul><ul><li>“ The thief comes to steal , to kill , and to destroy , but I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” </li></ul>
  19. 19. <ul><li>Ephesians 6:12 </li></ul><ul><li>“ For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” </li></ul>B. 2 Kingdoms
  20. 20. C. Complications <ul><li>“ Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good pleasing and perfect will.” </li></ul>
  21. 21. D. Inside out <ul><li>The change happens from inside out through the “Renewing of the mind ” </li></ul>
  22. 22. E. The shape of many minds <ul><li>Many minds have been shaped by negative upbringing, life’s traumas, dysfunctional families, inadequate parenting, and also our fallen human race. </li></ul><ul><li>TRUMA The Pain That Stays Roberts Hicks (Introduction page 5) </li></ul>
  23. 23. F. The dark Side <ul><li>Sin </li></ul><ul><li>Dysfunctional Background </li></ul><ul><li>Dark side Develops </li></ul><ul><li>Fertile Ground </li></ul><ul><li>Explosion </li></ul>
  24. 24. Sin <ul><li>“ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15 </li></ul>Inclination to SIN
  25. 25. Dysfunctional Background <ul><li>Poor Parenting </li></ul><ul><li>Abuses </li></ul><ul><li>Crisis </li></ul><ul><li>Traumas </li></ul><ul><li>Poor choices </li></ul>
  26. 26. Dark Side Develops <ul><li>Coping Mechanism </li></ul><ul><li>Dark Shadow </li></ul><ul><li>Persona </li></ul><ul><li>“ Split Personality” </li></ul><ul><li>Addictions </li></ul>
  27. 27. Fertile Ground <ul><li>Stress </li></ul><ul><li>Place of power or influence </li></ul><ul><li>Marital problem </li></ul><ul><li>Strong temptation </li></ul><ul><li>No accountability </li></ul>
  28. 28. Explosion <ul><li>When you least expect it, when you are least prepared it happens. </li></ul>Often it happens when we are at our peak
  29. 29. Rev. Ted Haggard <ul><li>In November 2006, prostitute and masseur Mike Jones alleged that Haggard had paid Jones to engage in sex with him for three years and had also purchased and used crystal methamphetamine . </li></ul>
  30. 30. Rev. Ted Haggard <ul><li>In November 2006, prostitute and masseur Mike Jones alleged that Haggard had paid Jones to engage in sex with him for three years and had also purchased and used crystal methamphetamine . </li></ul>&quot;Had given into his dark side&quot;
  31. 31. Rev. Jimmy Swaggart <ul><li>Jimmy Lee Swaggart a Pastor and televangelist who was involved in a high-profile 1988 sex scandal. His 1980s' telecast was transmitted to over 3,000 stations and cable systems each week. </li></ul><ul><li>(1988 a nd 1991 scandals) </li></ul>
  32. 32. Rev. Jim Baker <ul><li>James Orsen &quot;Jim&quot; Bakker is an American televangelist, a former Assemblies of God minister, and a former host of The PTL Club, a popular evangelical Christian television program. A sex scandal led to his resignation from the ministry. </li></ul>
  33. 33. Rev. Jim Baker <ul><li>James Orsen &quot;Jim&quot; Bakker is an American televangelist, a former Assemblies of God minister, and a former host of The PTL Club, a popular evangelical Christian television program. A sex scandal led to his resignation from the ministry. </li></ul>“ My dream became bigger and bigger. And the box got bigger than the message, than the Gospel.”
  34. 34. Senator Larry Craig <ul><li>Larry Edwin Craig is a former Republican politician from the U.S. state of Idaho. On August 27, 2007, the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call revealed that Craig had been arrested for lewd conduct in the men's restroom. </li></ul>
  35. 35. President Nixon <ul><li>The scandal ultimately led to the resignation of the United States President Richard Nixon on August 9, 1974, the first and so far only resignation of any U.S President. </li></ul>
  36. 36. President Nixon <ul><li>The scandal ultimately led to the resignation of the United States President Richard Nixon on August 9, 1974, the first and so far only resignation of any U.S President. </li></ul>“ I can see clearly now... that I was wrong in not acting more decisively and more forthrightly in dealing with Watergate...”
  37. 37. Kris Aquino <ul><li>Kristina Bernadette Cojuangco Aquino-Yap is a Filipino television and movie personality who gained prominence from her talk shows, game shows, and numerous endorsements. She is the youngest daughter of former Philippine senator Benigno Aquino, Jr. </li></ul>
  38. 38. Kris Aquino <ul><li>Kristina Bernadette Cojuangco Aquino-Yap is a Filipino television and movie personality who gained prominence from her talk shows, game shows, and numerous endorsements. She is the youngest daughter of former Philippine senator Benigno Aquino, Jr. </li></ul>&quot;controlling and domineering&quot;
  39. 39. US Teachers involved in scandal
  40. 40. Who’s next?
  41. 41. For your own sake and the people around you, do not add your name to the list… please!
  42. 42. The Dark Side of Leadership <ul><li>When a leader commits adultery, embezzles money from the church, or gets caught exposing himself, the most frequent explanation among the ranks of the faithful is &quot;Boy, the devil sure is working overtime,&quot; with little attention given to the realities of human dysfunction. (p. 155) </li></ul>
  43. 43. The following we are to watch out for… PRIDE, SELFISHNESS, SELF-DECEIT AND WRONG MOTIVES because if it is present in the life of a leader, it becomes a sure recipe for disaster.
  44. 44. 5 different types of unhealthy leadership patterns
  45. 45. 1. Compulsive Leader <ul><li>Rigid, stifles creativity, self-righteous, legalistic, workaholic, emotional explosion, very controlling </li></ul>
  46. 46. 2. Narcissistic Leader <ul><li>Attention seeker, utilitarian, appetite for bigger achievements, can lead to unethical and illegal behavior </li></ul>
  47. 47. 3. Paranoid Leader <ul><li>State of denial, distrust of people around him/her, cannot be intimate with others </li></ul>
  48. 48. 4. Codependent Leader <ul><li>Addiction to make others happy even at the price of ignoring the needs of his own family, . Burnout, divorce, adulterous affairs, and physical illness is common </li></ul>
  49. 49. 5. Passive-Aggressive Leader <ul><li>Out of control outburst, erratic and strange behavior, confuse why he/she is not liked by others </li></ul>
  50. 50. Conclusion: Possible Responses <ul><li>Deny </li></ul>
  51. 51. <ul><li>Repress </li></ul>
  52. 52. <ul><li>Accept </li></ul>
  53. 53. <ul><li>Accept and Redeem </li></ul>
  54. 54. Jesus and His Intent for Us <ul><li>“… Very few of them are living a joyful life Christian life because their emotion are not connected to the truth about who God is. The inability to connect emotions to the truth is one of the most tragic circumstances facing the church today” </li></ul><ul><li>David Eckman Becoming Who God Intended </li></ul>
  55. 55. Reflect: <ul><li>In the five different types of unhealthy leadership patterns that were presented, which one do I have to personally watch out for and why so? </li></ul>
  56. 56. Reminders <ul><li>Submit you reflection paper </li></ul><ul><li>Read the handout </li></ul><ul><li>The estimated contribution for the handouts is 80 Pesos </li></ul><ul><li>Check www.slideshare.net Grace4Families </li></ul>
  57. 57. Our Intention <ul><li>To be WITH Him </li></ul><ul><li>To be LIKE Him </li></ul><ul><li>To live life FOR Him </li></ul>
  58. 58. II. The Kingdom of God <ul><li>B. The Counselor and the KOG </li></ul><ul><li>1. “Image and likeness” of God vs. “Tao lang ako” </li></ul><ul><li>2. God’s perspective of us vs. Our distorted beliefs about us </li></ul><ul><li>Who we really are vs. Who we want to be </li></ul><ul><li>UNQUENESS </li></ul><ul><li>DIFFERENTNESS </li></ul><ul><li>SPECIALNESS </li></ul>

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