How to be a hero to your kids

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  • Our talk today is about how to be A hero
    If your young children you are the person who can do not wrong, wait till they become teenagers
    Illustration: Early on in my life my father was my superhero (got very sick, I saw flaws, become dependent, died)
    Our talk today is how we can become super hero in the lives of our children
    Having the power to influence in the lives of our children
    Allowing them to fly to new heights
    Helping them to live not just for themselves but for others too
  • <number>
    My 4 children are beginning to see that me and my wife are two imperfect people living in an imperfect world, trying to give our children the best possible lives.
    Even with the best of intentions, there will be times that me and my wife will fall short
    In a world filled with questionable “heroes”, unrealistic heroes found in comic books, children are in need of real-life heroes
    How can be heroes to our children? Is it possible? Is it doable?
  • Activity: Our Consciousness
  • If the family is the greatest source of happiness among Filipinos, it can also be the greatest source of unhappiness if things are not going well.
    Though it is very important and yet it is often neglected.
    Commend those who came
  • <number>
    Activity: Examine, Reflect, Look deep inside, and see the condition of our souls. Is it a blazing fire or a fire that is about to die
    What goes on in our external world will either add or subtract to our flame
    Each choice we make either adds to this flame, or feeds it, or dampens it
    When our internal flame roars, we feel strong, powerful and confident
    When our flames are low, we feel scared, weak, worried
    When our flames have not been cared for, we hunger for things outside to make us feel better (e.g. shopping, clothes)
    The size of our flame affects those around us
  • Greatness is not just confined in extraordinary and supernatural events in our lives.
    Greatness can and should also happen in the ordinary and even difficult events of our live
    Illustration: Max’s
  • THE INCREDICBLES
    They are not perfect
    They have their individual talents and “powers” – when suppressed, all were frustrated and unhappy
    When they were allowed to shine, they were able to unite into an incredible family
  • Begins with understanding what true love is all about
    Grounded in the love of the Father
  • A need to understand that true love is all about
    A love that is grounded on the love of the father
  • Not ifs or buts
    Things that will be noticed here
    Love that makes a child safe Love that is nurturingLove with amnesia
    Love not dictated by emotionsLove with no Ifs or buts but in spite of
    A choice to love
  • There is nothing they can do or not do
    The picture of the love of our Heavenly Father expressed in the highest form of Human Love
    The parable should have a new name
    Illustration: Given the chance to be another to be someone else, who do you want to be? I want to be my brother? But why? So that I will have the same mom.
    Practical expressions of love (listening, being present, etc)
  • Do not fight ever
  • When to be firm and when to let go
    The parenting style is a balanced one
    Not too lenient and not too protective (rebels or people with low self-esteem)
  • There are no perfect families and we all have our dysfunctionality
    Quote:
  • Do we have issues with power (bullying)
    Acceptance and rejection (looking for emotional dividends from children)
    Intimacy (My experience)
    Unhealed hurts when young (Melody)
  • When we are whole it spills over to our children
    We want our home to be a safe and nurturing place
    We would like to improve on the next generation
  • We all have never gotten manual on how to be a great parent
    Applying what we have seen, read, experienced and often unconscious
    Hit and miss (and our eldest will usually be the first laboratory case in real life)
  • They are seen us all our lives
    Francis of asisi
    They mirror what is happening
    There is nothing that adequately prepares us for the most important job there is—parenting. Children and teens do not come with an owner’s manual, and most of our training is on the job. With our own parents as our most prominent role models, we tend to repeat what we have learned about parenting from them. We do our best, learn as we go, and make our own mistakes along the way; but we don’t have to leave our parenting to chance. We can become more effective parents. We can parent with more confidence instead of frustration. Parenting can be enjoyable and rewarding instead of stressful.
  • Parenting with a purpose
    Intentional parenting
    Check if our parenting manual is still relevant
    Assess your values and live your values
    Teach
    Teaching moments
    Discipline with a purpose
    Video
    They are seen us all our lives
    Francis of asisi
    They mirror what is happening
    There is nothing that adequately prepares us for the most important job there is—parenting. Children and teens do not come with an owner’s manual, and most of our training is on the job. With our own parents as our most prominent role models, we tend to repeat what we have learned about parenting from them. We do our best, learn as we go, and make our own mistakes along the way; but we don’t have to leave our parenting to chance. We can become more effective parents. We can parent with more confidence instead of frustration. Parenting can be enjoyable and rewarding instead of stressful.
  • How to be a hero to your kids

    1. 1. How To Be A Hero toHow To Be A Hero to Your KidsYour Kids My Hero IFO
    2. 2. How we can be heroes to our kids?How we can be heroes to our kids? imperfect, questioabe, unrealistic, real- life2, doable
    3. 3. ““The family is theThe family is the Heart and theHeart and the CenterCenter of the Filipinos. It is whereof the Filipinos. It is where faith, the Christian doctrine and thefaith, the Christian doctrine and the Gospel values are learned andGospel values are learned and lived… where love, justice, fraternitylived… where love, justice, fraternity and equality are experienced,and equality are experienced, nourished and cultivated.”nourished and cultivated.” (ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social(ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social Care of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6)Care of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6) Heart and CenterHeart and Center conciousness
    4. 4. ““According to a recent surveyAccording to a recent survey conducted by theconducted by the NSCBNSCB, both Filipino, both Filipino men and women rankedmen and women ranked families asfamilies as their primary source of happinesstheir primary source of happiness.. Health ranked second and religionHealth ranked second and religion ranked third. Income or financialranked third. Income or financial security only ranked 9th and politics…”security only ranked 9th and politics…” (http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1-(http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1- source-of.html)source-of.html) Source of HappinessSource of Happiness Happiness and pain, important but…
    5. 5. Our Internal FlameOur Internal Flame Each of us hasEach of us has an internalan internal flame thatflame that represents therepresents the condition of ourcondition of our hearts andhearts and soulssouls Examine, external, choice,, roar,, low, not cared for, we look outside
    6. 6. Why are we attractedWhy are we attracted to super heroes?to super heroes? They are extra-They are extra- ordinary people doingordinary people doing extra-ordinary thingsextra-ordinary things
    7. 7. Children are in need of parentsChildren are in need of parents who will do ordinary things,who will do ordinary things, extraordinarily.extraordinarily. Not confined, even in the ordinary or difficult, Max’s
    8. 8. We can be heroes to ourWe can be heroes to our children resulting to anchildren resulting to an incredible familyincredible family Imperfect, indi talents and powers, suppressed…, shine…
    9. 9. Gideon (Judges 6)Gideon (Judges 6)  When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon,When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warriorThe LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”.”  The LORD turned to him and said, “The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in theGo in the strength you havestrength you have and save Israel out of Midian’sand save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”hand. Am I not sending you?”  Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can IPardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is thesave Israel? My clan is the weakestweakest in Manasseh,in Manasseh, and I am theand I am the leastleast in my family.”in my family.”  The LORD answered, “The LORD answered, “I will be with youI will be with you, and you will, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.”strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.” hightlight
    10. 10. 1. Dare to1. Dare to lloveove uunconditionallynconditionally CChoosing to love, period!hoosing to love, period! Understand,
    11. 11. What True Love is (1 Cor. 13)What True Love is (1 Cor. 13) Love never gives up.Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut,Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head,Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others,Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first,"Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle,Doesn't fly off the handle,
    12. 12. ContinuationContinuation Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel,Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything,Puts up with anything, Trusts God always,Trusts God always, Always looks for the best,Always looks for the best, Never looks back,Never looks back, But keeps going to the endBut keeps going to the end No ifs or buts, safe, nurturing, amnesia, not emotions, a CHOICE!
    13. 13. The incredible love of a FatherThe incredible love of a Father Who do you want to be?
    14. 14. 2. Choose2. Choose your battlesyour battles Do not fight for your right, fight for theDo not fight for your right, fight for the relationship.relationship. Do not fight every battle
    15. 15. Balance is the naBalance is the name of the gameme of the game Firm, let go, balancleneint-protectiveed parenting,
    16. 16. Bringing BalanceBringing Balance Which one to tolerate, and whichWhich one to tolerate, and which one will need special attentionone will need special attention Which is safe to let go, and whichWhich is safe to let go, and which one is definite no.one is definite no. Establish your priorities (H.E.S.)Establish your priorities (H.E.S.) Know where to loosen upKnow where to loosen up Have wisdomHave wisdom
    17. 17. 3. B3. Be aware of our Dark Sidee aware of our Dark Side There are both gooThere are both good and bad in us and it will bed and bad in us and it will be reflected in how we parent our childrenreflected in how we parent our childrenNo perfect f. , we project what we do not like
    18. 18. We can all step-up into greatnessWe can all step-up into greatness Issues power play, rejection. Intimacy, hurts
    19. 19. RUACHRUACH RR-ealizing-ealizing UU-nderstanding-nderstanding AA-ccepting-ccepting CC-hanging-hanging HH-ealing-ealing Spill over, next generation
    20. 20. 4. Have your4. Have your own Super Heroesown Super Heroes Choosing our own version of heroes andChoosing our own version of heroes and making God our ultimate heromaking God our ultimate heroNo manual, , how we learn, hit and miss
    21. 21. Heroes will need heroesHeroes will need heroes themselvesthemselves Learn from othersLearn from others Have a rabbit to followHave a rabbit to follow Calibrate accordinglyCalibrate accordingly Seek help if neededSeek help if needed
    22. 22. 5. L5. Live an empowered lifeive an empowered life Live and model the kiLive and model the kind of life you wantnd of life you want your children to live.your children to live.
    23. 23. ClosingClosing When we become heroes toWhen we become heroes to our children, they becomeour children, they become heroes to others as well.heroes to others as well. .
    24. 24. John 10:10 (The Message)John 10:10 (The Message) ““I came so they canI came so they can have real and eternalhave real and eternal life, more and betterlife, more and better life than they everlife than they ever dreamed of.”dreamed of.”

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