Ceu 1 solo parenting situationner 2010


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Ceu 1 solo parenting situationner 2010

  1. 1. Solo Parenting: A Situationer Presented by Herald Cruz family
  2. 2. My Family oitline
  3. 3. Outline of the Seminar I.I.Solo Parenting: A SituationerSolo Parenting: A Situationer II.II.OFW PhenomenonOFW Phenomenon III.III.Solo Parenting: Victim… Victor!Solo Parenting: Victim… Victor! definition
  4. 4. Introduction ““The family is theThe family is the HeartHeart and theand the CenterCenter of the Filipinos. It is where faith, theof the Filipinos. It is where faith, the Christian doctrine and the Gospel valuesChristian doctrine and the Gospel values are learned and lived… where love,are learned and lived… where love, justice, fraternity and equality arejustice, fraternity and equality are experienced, nourished and cultivated.”experienced, nourished and cultivated.” -- (ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social Care(ECMI, “Organizing The Migrants’ Families,” The Pastoral and Social Care of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6)of Migrants and their Families, (Manila: CBCP-ECMI, 1995) p. 6) 3 3 consciousness
  5. 5. Happiness Index ““According to a recent survey conductedAccording to a recent survey conducted by the by the NSCBNSCB, both Filipino men and, both Filipino men and women rankedwomen ranked familiesfamilies as their primaryas their primary source of happiness. Health rankedsource of happiness. Health ranked second and religion ranked third. Incomesecond and religion ranked third. Income or financial security only ranked 9th andor financial security only ranked 9th and politics…”politics…” (http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1-source-(http://thelivingrice.blogspot.com/2010/11/survey-says-family-is-no-1-source- of.html)of.html) 3Lotto 3
  6. 6. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting 1.1.““Somebody who raises child alone:Somebody who raises child alone: a parent who brings up a child ora parent who brings up a child or children alone, usually because he orchildren alone, usually because he or she isshe is UnmarriedUnmarried,, WidowedWidowed, or, or DivorcedDivorced.”.” (http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861734979/single_parent.html)(http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861734979/single_parent.html) Expand 3 U’s 3
  7. 7. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting 2.“Single-parent families can be2.“Single-parent families can be defined as families where a parentdefined as families where a parent lives with dependent children, eitherlives with dependent children, either alonealone or in a larger household,or in a larger household, without a spouse or partnerwithout a spouse or partner.”.” (http://family.jrank.org/pages/1581/Single-Parent-Families.html)(http://family.jrank.org/pages/1581/Single-Parent-Families.html) Alone more with dep 3
  8. 8. I. Definition of Solo-Parenting 3.3. “Solo-parent families are now a vital“Solo-parent families are now a vital subculturesubculture that will have to bethat will have to be accepted as a legitimate andaccepted as a legitimate and VitalVital unit of society.”unit of society.” (The Solo-Parent Experience: A Growing Social Phenomenon, 1996 p. 9)(The Solo-Parent Experience: A Growing Social Phenomenon, 1996 p. 9) Not unusual 3 barney
  9. 9. My Family’s Just Right For Me • I have a friend who lives with his mom and dad, with his brother and his sister too. • They have a cat and a dog and a pet bullfrog, and I am really glad they do.
  10. 10. My Family’s Just Right For Me • There's a girl I know who lives with her mom, and her dad lives far away. • Although she sees her parents just one at a time, they both love her everyday.
  11. 11. My Family’s Just Right For Me • I know a boy whose new he just moved in, he moved from Alabama. • And the person who’s the head of his family, is his loving, dear ole grandma.
  12. 12. My Family’s Just Right For Me • A family is people and a family is love, that's a family. • They come in all different Sizes and different kinds, but mine is just right for me, yeah, mine is Right for me. Not the typical 3
  13. 13. II. Reasons for Solo-Parenting • There are a number of reasons why we have this growing social phenomenon and it is crucial that we understand these so that we may be able to Empathize with them with the intention of helping. Enter the world compassion 3
  14. 14. Reasons • Death of a spouse • Divorce/Separation/ Annulment • Mutual agreement to separate • Abandonment • Giving birth and not choosing to marry • Adoption • Raising the child of Relative • Temporary solo- parenting • Solo parenting by unusual situation • Celibate parents • Stereotyped roles • Surrogate parenting Expanded solo care giver
  15. 15. Summary •Choice •Circumstance •Chance passage
  16. 16. John 10:10 •“… He came that we might have life and live it to the fullest.”
  17. 17. III. Challenges of Solo- Parenting • “Everything occurring in the family, regardless of how carefully hidden, impacts the children. Everything.” (R. Hemfelt and P. Warren, Kids Who Carry Our Pain, p.70.) Children cabatu
  18. 18. Grief • 1. Dealing with • loss/death Ask which
  19. 19. Which is more painful? • ““ In death you know they areIn death you know they are gone and you will never be withgone and you will never be with them again. In divorce (especiallythem again. In divorce (especially if you still love the person)if you still love the person) It ripsIt rips your heart out every second ofyour heart out every second of every dayevery day..... In death you can let..... In death you can let them go.”them go.” (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/451851(http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/451851)) Case to case resiliency
  20. 20. Alone • 2. Raising the child/children Alone 2 jobs
  21. 21. Nurture and Control balance
  22. 22. Outcast? • 3. Facing social acceptability . Pressure intra inter meta Quote
  23. 23. Negative Perception • ““The reality I have seen over theThe reality I have seen over the years is usually a stressed out,years is usually a stressed out, overworked, debt stricken womanoverworked, debt stricken woman who really had no idea childrenwho really had no idea children cost so much in time, effort andcost so much in time, effort and money.”money.” http://outcastsuperstar.blogspot.com/2010/04/rough-guide-to-shttp://outcastsuperstar.blogspot.com/2010/04/rough-guide-to-s )) Sweeping statements
  24. 24. Money Matters • 4. Confronting economic concerns Economic difficulties
  25. 25. Stress Multiplied • “Whether you are among thatWhether you are among that number because of divorce, or death,number because of divorce, or death, or teen pregnancy, by choice, or otheror teen pregnancy, by choice, or other reasons,reasons, the life of a single parent isthe life of a single parent is one of stress.one of stress. And when you considerAnd when you consider the statistics, that stress is oftenthe statistics, that stress is often multiplied by financial concerns”multiplied by financial concerns” • http://www.suite101.com/content/single-parenting----a-new-kind-of-family-a305074http://www.suite101.com/content/single-parenting----a-new-kind-of-family-a305074 Stress multiplies
  26. 26. Family as a System • Everybody affects every body . Bowen
  27. 27. Stress Multiplied • “…“… By definition, a family systemBy definition, a family system functions because it is a unit, andfunctions because it is a unit, and everyevery family member plays a critical, if notfamily member plays a critical, if not unique, role in the systemunique, role in the system. As such, it is. As such, it is not possible that one member of thenot possible that one member of the system can change without causing asystem can change without causing a ripple effect of change throughout theripple effect of change throughout the family system.”family system.” • (H. Dan Smith, EdD, MFT) Affecting each other discuss
  28. 28. Discuss • In your opinion andIn your opinion and experience in the field, whatexperience in the field, what do you think are the commondo you think are the common challenges facing solo-parentschallenges facing solo-parents today?today?