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Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
Tpr Difficult Discussions
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Tpr Difficult Discussions

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  • Have each participant individually identify a difficult discussion he/she has been putting off. Why do we procrastinate when it comes to having the difficult discussion?
  • Discuss Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversations.
  • Discuss what it means to “get reality out on the table.”
  • Discuss the impact of emotions as it relates to leadership. Discuss “praxis” – the idea of choosing your actions to effectively change your feelings. Give illustrations. Discuss leadership applications.
  • Discuss a four-step approach to having a difficult discussion. Reinforce the Farmer Brown/Farmer Jones exercise as it relates to Step 1. Reinforce the Seven Habits teaching of “empathic listening” as it relates to information plus emotion.
  • Discuss the other aspects of a difficult discussion…investigation, invitation and follow up. Exchange best practices for effective follow up after the difficult discussion takes place.
  • Discuss the importance of a strategic one minute introduction before the actual dialogue ever takes place.
  • Transcript

    1.  
    2. Agenda <ul><li>9:00 Self Introduction, “Koinonia Connection” and “Hand of the Lord Time </li></ul><ul><li>10:00 Difficult Discussions </li></ul><ul><li>12:00 Working lunch </li></ul><ul><li>12:30 Discussion of KANI </li></ul><ul><li>Any left over time… “Popcorn” KANI </li></ul><ul><li>2:30 Dismiss </li></ul>
    3. Hand of the Lord
    4. Koinonia Connection PAST Here is something about my past that would help you know me better DEFINING A difficult life experience which MOMENT helped me grow as a person was.. VALUES Here’s what I stand for… Ask follow up, onion peeling questions X Information + Feelings Information Only X
    5. The Difficult Discussion <ul><li>What is it? </li></ul><ul><li>Why is it so difficult? </li></ul><ul><li>How do you do it? </li></ul>15
    6. Fierce Conversation A fierce conversation is one in which you come out from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real. robust intense strong powerful passionate eager unbridled uncurbed by Susan Scott 15
    7. The Goal The goal of a fierce conversation is to get everyone’s reality out on the table, so that it can be interrogated. Everyone’s! 15
    8. Difficult Discussion: Why So Difficult? Key Principle Highly effective people act their way into a new way of feeling… they do not feel their way into a new way of acting. 16
    9. 1. “You” Listen to understand 2. “Me” Ask… then present 3. “It” Brainstorm solutions (What’s right, not who’s right?) 4. “Us” Agree to who will do what by when… and set date to inspect what you expect Difficult Discussions 101 16
    10. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get the Facts One Minute Intro “ You” “Me” “It” “Us” Inspect What You Expect Results Relationships Trust 16
    11. Difficult Discussions 201 Invitation Investigation Dialogue Follow Up Get the Facts One Minute Intro “ You” “Me” “It” “Us” Inspect What You Expect Results Relationships Trust “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us? Enlarged on next slide <ul><ul><li> 1. Identify the issue. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li> 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific) </li></ul></ul><ul><li> 3. Clarify what is at stake. </li></ul><ul><li> 4. Identify any contribution you may have made to this issue </li></ul><ul><li> 5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue. </li></ul><ul><li> 6. Invite the other person to respond. </li></ul>17
    12. One Minute Intro <ul><ul><li> 1. Identify the issue. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li> 2. Illustrate the gap. (Be specific) </li></ul></ul><ul><li>3. Clarify what is at stake. </li></ul><ul><li>4. Identify any contribution you may have made to this issue </li></ul><ul><li>5. Indicate your desire to resolve the issue. </li></ul><ul><li>6. Invite the other person to respond. </li></ul>17
    13. “ Would you be willing to talk with me long enough until we arrive at a solution that is acceptable to both of us?
    14. Dealing with the KANI’s of Life and Ministry <ul><li>S…ituation </li></ul><ul><li>P…roblem </li></ul><ul><li>E…vidence – is it measureable? </li></ul><ul><li>What is the cost $$, image, rep.?? </li></ul><ul><li>C…onsequences over time </li></ul><ul><li>I…mplications </li></ul><ul><li>F…uture Fix </li></ul><ul><li>I…mplications </li></ul><ul><li>C…onstraints </li></ul>What are the Issues?
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    22. Daily Debrief

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