Helpful thoughts when you are faced with the challenges of change
Helpful Thoughts W
hen You Are Faced
The Challenges Of Change
By Suzie Doscher
Change is not easy or simple.
When in a situation involving a big change you will be
faced with challenges.
Perhaps you have been told your behaviour is a problem
Or you have to accept new circumstances in your daily
life, and are struggling with adjusting to this.
We all experience times when we no longer like our own
behaviour, are dealing with new situations, have to make
adjustments or have no choice in a matter.
This could be at home with our family/friends, at school
with our education or later in life at work.
• The first and most important step is acceptance
What you are accepting is the reality/the fact/ the truth that you have to
make some adjustments.
If you do not fully understand without acceptance, your life will not be
You might be finding excuses like:
“It is his/her problem not mine, I did not do anything wrong, he/she is
when you are in a situation adapting to new circumstances,
at school or work, doing something new or difficult… the thoughts
getting in the way sound like,
“Why do I have to.”
What is the point of this…,”
I do not understand all of this…”
“It is irrelevant..”etc.
• Change can only really take place if you are ready to
The most successful way to approach the challenges
involved in change is to:
• Realize and acknowledge that your thinking can no longer
stay the same. Accept this fact.
• Accept it is possible to do things differently.
Think of a friend who behaves the way you want to and learn from
them. Observe someone who already has accepted their situation.
What can you learn from them?
• Be patient and allow yourself the time to gather the
necessary motivation, insight, and support.
• Imagine how much better you and your life will be once you
have made this change. Make a list of all the benefits coming
out of this.
Let’s say, you have to do something at school with which you
really do not agree. Imagine what it will be like when you are not
fighting it anymore but “just doing it”. No longer questioning why
you have to.
• Think carefully about specific thoughts or events making
this a challenge.
For example, if you wish to change how you react, make a list of
your negative thoughts relating to your reactions. “I do not like
this”, “This is wasting my time”, “It does not make sense to me”,
• Think about how to begin
”Accepting - will help me”
• So, what exactly do you have to accept?
Is it that you simply do not have a choice? Therefore are you
accepting that there is no other choice?
• If you find you are not moving forward with this change as
quickly as you thought, remember it takes time. Look out for
what keeps getting in the way.
Maybe your friends are not helping. Are you not managing your
negative thoughts around this?
• Understand and know that you and your life are worth this
Once you face the challenge, and start with the changes, your life
will be calmer, which means you are treating yourself better!
• (Most importantly) celebrate your success once you have
reached a better place and handling your changes.
for this to be successful you need time. Be patient with yourself and open to
some possible setbacks along the way… they are all part of the process.
Whenever I have gone through the process of changing something about myself
or I have had to accept something I did not like, I knew the change was ‘in
place’ when I no longer could remember, “What I was like before”.
It is most helpful and supportive and will increase your chances engaging the
help of a friend, parent, teacher or counsellor. If you talk to them about what
is bothering you and which part of changing is difficult, they can help you by
motivating, encouraging and being honest with you. Having someone by your
side makes any change much easier. Specifically, how to offer this support
varies from individual to individual. Make sure you communicate clearly how
they can support you.
Suzie Doscher is a Life & Business Coach and Self Help Author:
‘Balance – A Practical Handbook for Life’s Difficult Moments’
To be published early 2014
www.suziedoscher.com / www.coachgroupofch.ch