Six Love Styles Brief Lesson

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  • 1. Jenny A. ArmentroutJenny A. Armentrout Class Plan:Class Plan: Interpersonal RelationshipsInterpersonal Relationships Wood, J. (2004). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters, 4th Ed. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.
  • 2. Six Love StylesSix Love Styles Eros (erotic)— passionate, romantic love Mania (manic)— obsessive, jealous, and addictive Ludus (ludic)— love as a game Agape (agapic)— kind, unselfish love Storge (storgic)— love as friendship or companionship Pragma— very pragmatic/practical approach to love
  • 3. Eros (erotic)—passionate, romanticEros (erotic)—passionate, romantic lovelove  Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationshipErotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship  Love is very intense and passionateLove is very intense and passionate  The erotic lover wants to share everything withThe erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about the loved oneand know everything about the loved one  The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in anThe erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an idealized manneridealized manner  The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism fromThe erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from his/her partner is one of hurt and intense painhis/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain  The erotic lovers reaction to separation from theThe erotic lovers reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despairpartner is agony and despair
  • 4. Ludus (ludic)—love as a gameLudus (ludic)—love as a game  Ludics have a very self-oriented approach to loveLudics have a very self-oriented approach to love  Ludics minimize dependency and commitmentLudics minimize dependency and commitment  They rarely or never become overly involved with oneThey rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often have more than on partner at a timepartner and often have more than on partner at a time  They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to theirThey don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner, especially if they think they can gain some kindpartner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partnerof advantage over their partner  Usually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasureUsually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasure  Reaction to criticism from the partner is indifferenceReaction to criticism from the partner is indifference  Reaction to separation form the partner is immediateReaction to separation form the partner is immediate replacementreplacement
  • 5. Storge (storgic)—love as friendshipStorge (storgic)—love as friendship or companionshipor companionship  Storge love develops slowlyStorge love develops slowly  It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport,It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, respect, companionship, sharing, and concernrespect, companionship, sharing, and concern  It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasyIt is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid,and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, stable, enduring lovestable, enduring love  Reaction to criticism from partner—give andReaction to criticism from partner—give and take, compromise, constructive problem solvingtake, compromise, constructive problem solving  Reaction to separation—feelings of emptinessReaction to separation—feelings of emptiness and lossand loss
  • 6. Mania (manic)—is obsessive,Mania (manic)—is obsessive, jealous, and addictivejealous, and addictive  Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational,Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, possessive, and consumed by thoughts of their loverspossessive, and consumed by thoughts of their lovers  They need constant attention, affection, andThey need constant attention, affection, and togethernesstogetherness  Love is very intenseLove is very intense  They frequently put love to the test for the sake ofThey frequently put love to the test for the sake of reassurancereassurance  Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness,Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness, hypersensitivity, and sometimes violencehypersensitivity, and sometimes violence  Their reaction to separation—instant panicTheir reaction to separation—instant panic
  • 7. Agape (agapic)—kind, unselfishAgape (agapic)—kind, unselfish lovelove  Agape love is altruisticAgape love is altruistic  The agapic lover gets more pleasure from givingThe agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving in a relationship than from receivingin a relationship than from receiving  The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient,The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient, understanding, loyal, and willing to makeunderstanding, loyal, and willing to make sacrifices for his/her partnersacrifices for his/her partner  Their reaction to criticism form the partner—Their reaction to criticism form the partner— willingness to change or compromisewillingness to change or compromise  Their reaction to separation from the partner—Their reaction to separation from the partner— sense of loss and emptinesssense of loss and emptiness
  • 8. Pragma—is a very pragmatic orPragma—is a very pragmatic or practical approach to lovepractical approach to love  It is very logical and realisticIt is very logical and realistic  Pragmatic lovers are self-orientedPragmatic lovers are self-oriented  Their reaction to criticism from the partnerTheir reaction to criticism from the partner —defensive, analytical—defensive, analytical