31st August 2010
Oh my glorified eels, it's The Science of a Legacy, Chapter Twenty-Five: M.I.A
I suppose that's technically to stand for Missing in Action, but personally I like to think it can also
mean My Igloo Accelerates. Up to you! I would highly suggest catching up on past chapters if
this is your first time here, as otherwise it ain't going to make a whole lot of sense mate. But last
time we left off, things were looking slightly dicey.. So go go, go go - go!
"Mum Mum Mum Mum MUM! You gotta come quick, it's an EMERGENCY!"
"Murgh, what..? Jingo, what are you shouting about? You know Mummy's rules - and what are
"Not to wake Mummy up.." sighed the child. "Unless it's an emergency. But it is!"
"Jingo. What have we talked about? Not being able to find your favourite My Little Pony is not an
emergency. And if the toilet's blocked again, go find your Daddy. He's got way more mechanical
skills than Mummy. So what do you say?"
But what do you want me to tell the crying old lady and the man with blue hair?"
"What?! Quick Jingo, to the Gin-mobile! Now, where are Mummy's clothes?"
"Er, on the floor where you left them?"
And sure enough, I arrived downstairs to find the sorry sight of Menidia and Ocean looking
distraught in the doorway.
"Gin, I'm so sorry to wake you, but it's important." said Ocean. "It's Gadus. There's been, uh, I
mean, that er.."
"He's goooone!" wailed Menidia.
Ocean turned to his wife and tried to comfort her.
"Oh Meni, I'm sure he'll be alright. And Gin will know what to do, she'll know where he is."
"Really?" she sniffed. "He's only little, he can't cope on his own!"
"Yes he can, dear. I'm sure everything will be fine."
"You both better come sit down." I said. "I don't know what's happened, but we're going to get to
the bottom of this."
The couple came through to the kitchen, and between us Ocean and I finally managed to get
Menidia to sit down.
"Right." I said, "tell me what's going on here. What's happened to Gadus?"
"We don't know what's happened." said Ocean plainly. "Yesterday morning he went to Harold &
Merkins to pick up some more cheese for Cadence, but he never came back. And we haven't
heard from him since."
"Needless to say we're just a bit worried!" sniffed Menidia. "And it's little Vauxia's Birthday soon,
he can't miss that!"
"So.. what? You think he's been kidnapped?" I asked.
"At the least." Ocean sighed. "We know the stories Gin, and you were there when Vee killed
"Well yeah, but that was a long time ago. And Vee's dead, we know that. Carrie coming back
seems to be a one off, and the Reaper wanted a break. He'd hardly send Vee back if that was
the case! No, I don't think that's it. But this is not good news.. Not in the slightest."
"So you don't think Vee is behind this? My little boy's safe then!" said Menidia.
"Well, Meni.. I just don't know." I said.
"But it must be a threat against the Legacy at the very least!" said Ocean. "More than anyone I
hope my son's alive, but taking the Legacy heir.. Gin, please tell us he might still be alive. I don't
care about this whole thing halting, I just want him to be okay."
"Well.." I thought for a minute.
"If whoever took Gadus from us wanted to stop the Legacy.. They're not going about it in a very
clever way. You both know I love Gadus very much, but from a Creator's point of view the
Legacy is safe. Sid and Vauxia mean that we already have a choice for the Generation Six heir,
and I hear Cadence is pregnant yet again? I hate to say it, but why attack Gadus instead of
them? It just doesn't make any sense! Unless.. whoever this is doesn't know what they're
dealing with, or.. maybe they didn't mean to take Gadus? Or something?"
"You hear that Meni?" said Ocean, "they didn't mean to take our boy! It's all been a big mistake,
and so he can't be harmed!"
"Oh Ocean, you're right! Maybe he's already at home, wondering where we are!"
"No, that's not what I said.." I piped up. "Look, why are you coming to me with this anyway?
Obviously I want to help, but why not ask The Watch? Maybe they've got a better idea of what's
going on here."
"This has been going on for far too long." Norris was saying at The Watch's weekly meeting at
HQ, aka Carrie's House.
"Lisa is a complete menace! I know you want to wait for Vole to have replaced her as Education
Minister before we act, but the way that Shrew's trying to populate Strangetown - I just don't
think we can wait that long!"
"And this is a bit of a small meeting, isn't it?" he asked.
"Well Ara gave birth last night so her and Goopy are staying home with Becks and the new
baby, and Vole's still pregnant as far as we know." Meloti explained. "Where's Nihm?"
"At home with Ysabelle and Susan.." Norris sighed. Why was it with women and babies at the
"But look," he went on, "we've suffered enough, Dad and I. And all of the children this generation
can't be denied private school as well, it was hard enough last time. And Sam! It's been hell for
her since the wedding, I can't stand to just leave her stuck there. We have to get rid of Lisa, and
we have to do it now!"
"Preferable with a satellite!" chimed in Allozyme. "Or maybe a cowplant. They work well!"
"Allozyme! We are against the death of others, you should know that." scolded Corvus.
"Yes," smiled Carrie, "I don't think that would be quite the right way to go. Norris, those child
protection laws you instigated when you became Mayor, they can help us do this calmly can't
"Of course, they were the driving force behind most of my policies. We have enough evidence
and witnesses to prove that Lisa is guilty of child neglect and is a threat to their well-being, that's
for sure. And now Sam's pregnant we can claim that Lisa is a danger to the baby if she's left in
the house, and rightly so."
"I still like the satellite idea.." Allozyme moaned.
But before Corvus could shh Allo again, the door burst open and a very happy Vole came
"Guys, guys! I did it! The Strangetown government have officially named me the new Education
Minister!" she squeaked. "Lisa's history! And I can finally sort out the mess she's made of the
system.. Male students automatically marked down by 10%? I ask you.."
"Well then, that settles it!" said Meloti happily. "Congratulations Vole, you deserve it my dear.
Very well done!"
"I couldn't have done it without Norris' help.." the Shrew said bashfully.
"Doesn't matter, all the children are going to have a much better time at school now, thanks to
you." said Carrie.
"So, Corvus wonders if you both are ready now?" said the Tegenaria veteran, turning to the
"Dad, you sure you're up to doing this?" Norris asked.
The zombie snorted.
"I may have been married to the woman, but that all disappeared the day she revealed who she
truly was. I don't think we ever loved each other, at least not the way you and Nihm do. Both our
lives would have been very different Norris, if Lisa'd understood what having a family really
"You mean we might not be an estranged and recently reunited werewolf and zombie, happily
discussing how to take her down on a couch in a very red room with the rest of the family?"
Norris laughed, "We can't have that now, can we!"
"Hey, maybe a satellite wouldn't be too out of the question, after all?" he went on.
"Norris Tegenaria-Bauchman-Agelenidae whatever the hell your name is!" shouted Corvus.
"Corvus says no! We have been working hard to ensure that nobody gets squashed or mashed
or mished or pummelled. Even mean ladies like Lisa. Corvus says we are doing this properly,
and she shall be arrested and taken away as planned. Now no more talk of death!"
"Alright, alright." Norris sighed.
"So Dad, do you want to do the honours - or shall I?"
"I think we both deserve to have a final say in this." Allozyme smiled.
"No. No no no!
Excuse me, but I can't possibly be hearing this correctly. I'm fired? You're firing me? Don't you
not know who I am!?
What do you mean 'and that's exactly why we're letting you go'? You insolent peon, I demand to
be treated the with respect that I- Hello? HELLO?"
"Well of all the nerve! How dare they do this to me, to me! After everything I did for them.. I
sorted out this miserable town and this is how they repay me?
Worthless, worthless people."
"I certainly am not going to be putting up with this anymore."
"Hello Lisa!" Norris said brightly and strolled through the door. "You remember Dad, don't you?"
"Oh great, this is all I need today.." Lisa snarled. "It's the undead monster patrol. What the hell
do you want? I thought I made myself clear - to the both of you!"
"Oh you know, just a little solace for the lifetime of hell you gave me!" Norris snapped. "Come on
Lisa, you didn't really think that things were going to carry on like this now I'm an adult, did you?
Especially after what you did to Sam, and I didn't think you could go any lower. Times have
changed, as have the laws. You've probably failed to notice as it didn't involve you in any way,
but I'm the Mayor of Strangetown now, and we have proof that are a danger to the children of
"Bozo blue-face here doesn't count as proof of anything, sonny, other than his own
incompetence." Lisa said angrily.
Norris just waved her away.
"The Turners, Lisa.. Mallory even told you they were keeping an eye on you, and how you were
treating Sam and I when we were younger."
Lisa looked a bit taken a back by this, she'd forgotten about that woman's invasion of her home
when the children were small.
"They can't prove anything!" she snapped back, "I only ever wanted the best for my family!"
"You wanted the best for yourself, you selfish cow. And they can, Vole's got footage from her
father's bug-cam in the front garden that catches all of your 'finest' moments from across the
"Oh this is so delicious!" smiled Allozyme as he saw his ex-wife's face fall. She wouldn't be able
to talk her way out of this one!
"And so, Lisa Bauchman!" he said as he stepped triumphantly forward, "as Captain Hero, and
protector of this fine town, I am placing you under arrest on the charge of child endangerment
and neglect. Anything you say can and will be bloody annoying, so shut the hell up for once."
"You took away the most important thing I ever could have had, and though Norris is back in my
life now - I will never forgive you for what you did." he said quietly. "You are a Class A bitch Lisa,
and you never understood the meaning of Family. It's about sticking together, no matter what, in
a loving environment where you protect each other. Not yourself, and certainly not your image."
Lisa cringed as Allozyme cuffed her hands together, hating that this cold monster's dead flesh
was anywhere near her. All she could think about was what the morning paper would say, and
how they would all laugh. She'd worked too hard for this!
"How dare yo-" she started..
"I said don't say anything!" the zombie bellowed. "Your words have caused quite enough
damage for one lifetime."
"Or three.." glowered Norris from the door. "Ready to go Dad?"
"I think so, there's no way she can get out of this one. Though I might have to find a gag for the
journey!" Allo smiled. "You coming to have a final goodbye, son?"
Norris stared at his mother. It didn't matter how long it had been, he still felt just the same
loathing for her as he did when he was a child. Times were changing indeed, but not in every
"No. No, I'll wait for Sam to come home."
"Fair enough!" said the zombie and steered Lisa out the door, accompanied by her roars of
"You'd better not get any flakes of the diseased skin all over my nice clean porch! I don't want a
speck out of place by the time I come home."
"You ain't coming home again Lisa, not ever." he said, and poked her down the stairs to the
Norris spent the rest of the day waiting in the reception area of the house. It was a far cry from
the little bungalow that used to stand on the site, and the longer Lisa was absent the more
friendly the place seemed to become. However, he did feel a pang when he found there was no
longer any way down to the basement, that it had been filled in..
Norris snapped out of his thoughts at once, and grinned the biggest grin of his life when he saw
his little sister standing in the corridor, with a bit of a confused look on her face.
"Norris, where's Mother? Is she.."
"She's gone Sam." he smiled. "She's gone for good! I finally did it, I really did. My Dad took her
away, and she won't be able to ever come back to destroy our lives."
Samantha grabbed her brother and have his a huge hug, it was news she was relieved to hear!
"You mean it? She's really gone?"
"Really really. We're going to be okay now Sammy, everything's going to be fine from now on."
That evening when Sullivan returned from the record store, Sam told him the news.
Things really do seem like they're going to be ok from now on!
At least, for most of Strangetown..
... Where am I?
Gadus found himself beginning to take in his surroundings. He was still dazed, but began to feel
cold metal around his wrists, and blurry pictures of stone and iron began take shape.
... I've got to get home and find my babies ...
"Hey, hey! I think he's coming round!" said one voice.
"Yeah, I think he is - about time too." said another.
"He always was a lazy sod." growled a third.
Gadus tried to look up, but his neck was horribly stiff.
"H-hello?" he tried with a croaky voice, "is there anyone there? Can you help me?"
"Long time no see, bro! And no, but I think it's about time you helped us, don't you? Trying to
wriggle out of the deal was skeazy, dude."
Hearing that there was someone there, Gadus willed his strength to start returning. He managed
to look up and focus on where the voices were coming from.
He wasn't entirely sure he was that keen on what he was seeing..
"Teenagers?" he spluttered and shrunk back in surprise. "I've been kidnapped by a bunch of
teenagers?! But you're just kids, how did you managed to.. I'm a grown man!"
"No, you're pathetic and a weakling and always have been." said the one in the front. "You could
have made it a bit more of a challenge for us, you know. But then you've always been laughably
"Now now dear brother, don't play dumb with me."
"He hardly has to play.." snarled the teen in the brown jumper.
"Dickson, quiet! But come on Ocean, you really thought you could get away with this little life
you've been trying to lead? You know that was never part of the plan! We're not supposed to
grow up, Ocean, we're supposed to wait until the time has come to resurrect our father - and that
time is now, bro! All six of us are needed, we can't have you growing old and dying on us."
"But I'm not Ocean!" Gadus said with as much force as he could muster, which to be honest,
wasn't a great deal.
"Oh shut up Charvat, you may have aged a bit but I'd know that horrible lumpy face of yours
anywhere! And you're still trying to hide behind ridiculous girly make up, if you wanted to
disappear you should have at least gotten rid of that. The pretty boy with the blonde hair and
green eyes, oo-o-ooh. Dad always said you were a lost cause."
"Taylor, yo-you're ranting a b-b-it.." said the boy in blue.
"Oh shut up Tyler! We've got Ocean back, however much of a traitor he may be,"
"I'm not Ocean! Ocean is my-"
"Can it blondey! All six of the Tricou teens are needed to resurrect Jon Smith, and once he's
back I'm sure he'll have a few things to say to you. Just imagine if you'd been selfish enough to
fall in love and leave Downtown to age and die, then getting him back wouldn't be possible - oh
wait! That's exactly what you did. I'm bored of this, I'm getting him back now and I'll let him take
care of you. I've waited long enough."
The teen in the red jacket, evidently called Taylor, stomped over to a bone phone that had been
smoking quietly in the corner and grabbed the receiver without hesitation and slammed it to his
"Oy, you!" he shouted, "it's Taylor Taylor. .. Yeah, the Tricou kid. We're all six assembled in the
House of Fallen Trees, and enough time has passed for you to give us our damn dad back! So
hand him over, Grim face."
"Oh, hi sweetie!" came the cheery voice on the other end. "I'm afraid you can't speak to Grimmy,
I'm handling these things from now on. I'm his assistant Hannah, honey. And I'm afraid that I
can't process your request, at the moment anyhow."
"You're who? I don't want a messenger, I want the Reaper! And what the hell do you mean with
the last part?! We've waited long enough to start getting our family back, you moron."
"Calm down cutie, it's just the rules. You need all five of your brothers and sisters and yourself
for me to grant you Jon Smith Tricou, and you ain't got them all yet sweetie."
"Yes I freakin' well do! Unless.. that bastard!" Taylor said angrily, and slammed down the phone.
"I told you.." Gadus mumbled.
"What the hell have you done! You've done something to yourself, haven't you? We need to get
Dad back so we can start bringing back the rest of the Tricou family! Stop being to selfish
Ocean, this is your family too. Now explain what you did to yourself!" Taylor screamed.
"Theresa.. D'ya think that really is Ocean? Something seems kind of odd." the girl in white
whispered to her sister in the hat, while Taylor continued to hurl verbal abuse at Gadus.
"I don't know Marissa. But it must be! He looks the same, we all knew he was gonna grow up
squiffy and that guy definitely ain't gonna win beauty pageants anytime soon."
"Yeah but, why didn't it work? I thought when the six of us gathered around the phone a hundred
years after he was killed, Dad would come back! And it would begin.. Something's gotta be
"I can hear you back there.." Taylor said angrily, and the girls hastily fell quiet.
"Look, I keep trying to tell you." Gadus said quietly. "I'm not Ocean. I'm his son. Ocean is an old
man now. So please, let me go. I need to get home!"
"I still don't believe you." Taylor snapped. "You, or that girl you fell in love with, must have put a
spell over you or something. But you've gotta see it Ocean, that family isn't the one that's
important! We are, we're your true family. How could you forget that? Not that little piece of
Strangetown ass, and not any dopey kids you happened to have spawned with her."
At this, Gadus finally felt his energy coming back.
"How dare you speak about my Mother that way!" he yelled. "You have no idea what you're
talking about, you stupid child! Now let me go, and don't you dare go anywhere near my family.
I'm glad I can't help you, because I'd hate to meet someone who could have spawned a little
townie brat like you."
It was going to be the start of a long argument..
Sidneyia Tegenaria sighed as he got out of bed.
Another night and his dad still hadn't come home, and Sid was getting really worried whether
he'd ever get to see him again. He missed Gadus a lot as they'd been very close, even though
he thought his Dad had said some pretty odd things at times.
With a forlorn look, he went downstairs to make his morning muffin. (He still wasn't a fan of the
Wonderful World of Cadence's Cheesy Experience)
Everyone else was feeling the absence of the heir too. Menidia and Ocean had been so busy
taking care of the boys during the day that they hadn't been able to go searching, and just
eagerly waited each evening for updates from The Watch.
"Daddy come back now?" Vauxia asked his Grandmother.
"Oh, I hope so dear." Menidia sighed. "I really hope do."
"Morning kiddo! They found your papa yet?" said the driver as she waved Sid onto the school
"No.." he said sadly, and looked at the floor as he walked down the bus to his seat next to his
cousin, Becks. But at least his brother would be having his birthday tonight, and that thought
cheered him up. He didn't want to feel like the only one suffering anymore.
"The monkey fell out of his bunk!
And slipped down the elephant's trunk!"
"Gammy does it wrong!" protested Vauxia. "Monkey fell out 'cos too much bonk. Want Daddy!"
"Oh my, what has my son been teaching you.." Menidia thought. "Well, at least you'll be growing
up tonight and Sid can talk some sense into you."
Later that evening, after darkness had fallen of course so Cadence could see her boys, the
family gathered in the hall so Vauxia could blow out his candles. Sid was needing a lot of
cheering up after school, and Menidia usually spent the whole of the afternoons playing with
"Oow, come on you two! I wants ta grow up this toddler sharpish, I do. I've already got some
cheese grillin' for 'im!"
But Sidneyia was happy to cheer on his little brother, he'd be able to teach him all the games
that Dad had taught him, more or less, and they'd be able to work through things until his Dad
"Whoo, come on Vox!" he shouted, and gave his horn and extra big blow.
"That's me boy!" smiled Cadence, and bent down to help Vauxia reach the cake.
"Wow, cool! I grew up in monkey bonk pyjamas!" he giggled when he saw he was big.
"That's me son, think outside the box!" Cadence cheered. "Now come into the kitchen, I 'as a
surprise for yous!"
Ocean looked on, confused and a bit bemused, but pleased that his Grandson had grown up so
"What is it Mum? What have you got?" Vauxia asked excitedly, hopping from one foot to the
other as the Contessa bustled around the kitchen, apron flying. "Is Dad coming back for cake?
He loves cake, doens't he!"
"Not quite, but I'm-a making it specially for you, me baby, Now go sit down, I'll be over in a
Vauxia's head fell a bit, but he obediently went to sit at the table.
"You ate that rarver quickly, didn't cha?" asked Cadence. "You like grilled cheese then? I loves
it, I do!"
"Well, yeah, it was ok.. But I really thought Dad would be here." the birthday boy said sadly.
"I mean, it's my birthday! Surely he could come back for that? And he hasn't, it's so unfair! He ws
there for Sid's."
"Oow, poppet. It's not like that. Smudgekins would be 'ere if 'e could, but we fink some bad
people have taken 'im away. But I know that wherever 'ee is, 'e'd want to be 'ere for you. I wants
him 'ere too, you know."
"Dad's in trouble? Is he alright? But he'll be home soon, won't he? Because, I mean, he's gotta
be!" said a worried little Vauxia.
"Munchkin, we just don't know righ' now. But your Daddy's a big strong man, and I'm sure 'e's
fine really. Don't let it worry you, 'e'll be back before you know it."
Thankfully, that did make Vauxia smile, and he kissed Cadence goodnight and went upstairs to
join Sidneyia in their room to sleep.
Cadence looked at her sandwich.
"I just 'opes they's feedin' 'im right.." she said.
Later that night, five sandwiches later to be precise, she got up.
"Er, 'ello? I fink it's time for the next sprog to come out."
Usually Gadus would have come running, but as it was the rest of the family was asleep so
she'd be seeing this one out on her own.
Not that it mattered! And Marella Tegenaria popped out, all dandy like.
It's a little girl everyone! Like Vauxia, Marella has brown hair and green eyes with skintone two.
Marella is once again a Burgess Shale fossil from the Cambrian era, and is commonly known as
the lace crab - a kind of trilobite. Yay for girls! I've been having a bit of a male child epidemic in
"You're one beau'iful muffin, you is." said Cadence. "I just really 'ope that you'll get to meet your
But she gave Marella a cuddle, a bottle, and a pat on the head and put her to bed, hoping that
the young baby wouldn't pick up on how sad Cadence was that she'd been born without Gadus
there. Cadence was still hopeful he'd be back, but the more time passed - the more worried she
became. But she was determined to keep a brave face on for her children.
The next morning Sidneyia was up early, he hadn't been able to sleep very well. He wandered
into the playroom and aimlessly picked up a rocket Vauxia had left out last night.
"Vox is just so messy! He's going to have to help us more until Dad comes back." Sid thought
while zooming the rocket around his head. "Grammy and Grandpa are trying really hard, and it's
not Mum's fault she doesn't get to see us much either."
He crashed the rocket into the floor.
"I'd better remind him, because that's what big brothers do."
When he heard his little brother was up and about, Sid canned the rocket and went to find him.
"Now Vauxia, how are you feeling about your first day of school?" he asked.
"Kind of excited, kind of nervous.." his brother replied. "I'm really hoping I'll manage to get an A+
report card, like you did on your first day."
"Well, we can't all do that well. But listen Vox, I've just got a feeling. If you do well, I bet Dad'll be
here to cheer for you when you get back!"
"Oh boy, you really think so Sid?" Vauxia said, really excited about the prospect.
"Well, that's just what Dads do, isn't it?" Sid smiled.
But when the boys did arrive home that afternoon..
"Oh man! I worked so hard, but he's not here! Sid, you promised. I brought Jimmy Shrew over to
meet Dad and everything.. No one believed me, and he's still not here!"
"Oops, my mistake. Guess he just does that for me then."
Vauxia threw his homework on the floor and stomped off, not to surprisingly. Sid just shrugged
and added his to the pile.
Seeing as Vole had taken over the education system of Strangetown, Tegenarias were now free
to enter the private school system. Ocean, Menidia and Cadence decided that this would be a
good way to lift the boys' spirits, and invited the headmaster to dinner that evening.
"Why hello there Mr.. Headmaster! Do you like my special glasses? I put them on just for you!
Say, how about letting my grandkids into your school?"
"Meh. Double minus."
"Meni, don't you think it should be the boys who are having dinner with this man, to make a good
"I don't think either of them are feeling very co-operative this evening." Menidia sighed. "Sid's
sulking and Vauxia seems to be a bit weepy.. But at least Jimmy Shrew's putting up a good
"Oh, you mean you don't live here?" said Mr. Headmaster who's name I forget.
"The name's Shrew. Jimmy Shrew. Jimmy Shrew Turner to be exact. But.. thermometers!"
"Ah, very good point."
"However Mrs. Tegenaria, I do not think that this house is very fitting for children. There may be
many many toys, but I'm also slightly disturbed by the sheer abundance of open fires."
"Pfft, everyone knows you need to light a good fire every five minutes. I don't think I want to
Grandbabies to be educated any different!"
It was all going a bit pear shape, to be honest. I was beginning to think that maybe it was a good
thing the kids had been barred from entry last generation! Luckily, this is why one has a cockney
cheese vampire - ever so useful in these situations.
"Oow, now Mr. Fingy, pay no heed to 'er. She's just an 'appy care free spirit, innit? But me boys
are right good li'tle sprites, they are. And they is 'aving a bit of a tough toime at the momen', so
theys need a bit of a break. Fank you for comin; to our 'umble 'ome, I don't 'arve appreciate it
and I would be so gra'ful if you'd given 'em a chance. Whaddya say?"
"Well how can I refuse an offer like that! Mrs. Tegenaria, you definitely have a way about you.
Yes, I shall see the boys on Monday morning - and you at the next PTA meeting I assume?"
"Oow, I dun get out much in the day I don't." Cadence smiled, and quickly shooed the man out
the house. There were cheese sandwiches that needed making!
While the headmaster had been pootling about downstairs, Sid had gone up to the room he
shared with Vauxia to play his violin, as he always did. However, it didn't feel quite right this
"It's no use!" he spluttered. "I just cannot get the note right! I'm useless. What's wrong with me?
It's not sounding right at all."
He sighed and hung up his bow.
"I wish I hadn't said that to Vox this morning.." he said to no one in particular.
"It really wasn't fair, I knew Dad wasn't go to be there when we got back, no matter how hard he
tried. He looked so upset! And I can't get his face off my brain, not even for scales."
"Eurgh, what's wrong with me?" he said sadly, screwing up his grey eyes.
"I don't even know why I did it. I feel horrible! I'm not a mean person, not really.. I'm sure he'll be
ok though, and I can always make it up to him at Ysabelle's tomorrow."
Telling himself that over and over again, he crawled into bed. He didn't hear Vauxia come in a
bit later, but did wonder if he heard a little sniffle in the night.
Norris was being very brave and hosting the first weekend party for the children of Generation
Six, or at least those in the first wave who were old enough to attend. There were to be nine of
them, and Nihm had left explicit instructions to call Carrie if things went awry whilst she and
Allozyme were at work. But Norris felt that after everything he'd handles lately, how hard could a
bunch of kids be?
"Especially with hot dogs to keep them occupied.." he thought to himself.
His oldest daughter, Ysabelle, was eagerly greeting her extended family on the porch. They all
vaguely knew each other from school, but hadn't had a chance to have a proper get together
"Sid! I'm so glad you and Vauxia could come, thank you so so much! It's going to be a great day,
I just know it!" she grinned.
"Thanks Ysey, it's really cool of your Dad to let us do this. It must be great, I mean, having him
"Oh Sid, don't start! You Dad's fine, I just know it! Try and forget about it for one day - please?
For me? C'mon,l let's go find the others."
"Who the Shrew are you?" asked Sorex Turner, Rutilus and Sandy' son. He flicked his tail and
cocked his head to one side, blinking at the boy with smooth hair he'd never seen before. And
he'd seen everyone! Sorex always made sure to follow a different relation home every night, just
to make sure he knew them all and to play with new toys.
"Yeah, you're funny looking!" said Metis with a puzzled look. Though I think you can probably
guess, he's the oldest child of Fred and Billy, the alien genes are still going strong! He couldn't
always be bothered to trek around town like Sorex did, but he tried to make a point of knowing
his class mates. Well, over the phone at least.
But far from being intimidated, the newcomer simply grinned and waved at the two boys. "Oh,
you haven't met me yet - I only had my birthday last night. But I'm Marcus Phillips, Ysabelle's
cousin. Her Grandzombie arrested my Grandma?"
"Oh yeah!" giggled Sorex. "That was so cool!"
The smell of hot dogs wafting through the garden was hard to ignore, and it wasn't long before
the kids started to swarm to them.
"Don't be silly Becks, magic lamps aren't real." Sid was saying, "everyone knows that.
Sometimes I do wonder where your brain is."
"Nu-uh, you're wrong Sid! Yeah, don't look at me like that, you can be wrong you know." Becks
Gilscarbo said as his cousin gave him a look of confusion. "I was talking to Sorex, and he told
me that he has a magic lamp! And that it's a bit sexy."
"No way!" gasped Vauxia and Ysabelle together.
"Yes way." Becks smiled.
"Guys, that's kids potty talk!" said Metis as the others joined them. "Let's talk about something
else instead. Did you guys watch that new dating show where everyone started mysteriously
"Oh yeah! That guy, Sim Spade, he was so cool how he rescued them all!" said Becks.
"More like Sim-ple.." giggled Jimmy Shrew.
"Reality TV isn't good for you, you know. My Dad always said playing outside was much more
healthy" sighed Sid.
Ysabelle didn't like where the conversation may be headed, and thought that this was probably a
good time to get the boys to do something else. So she jumped down from the table and ran to
the other end.
"Becks, hey Becks! I think I see your Mum coming to take you to her clothes shop and dress you
"What!? Where!" Becks cried as he jumped up, and scanned the sidewalk for Ara.
"Ysey, I don't see her! Are you sure you-"
"CATCH!" she shouted and hurled the water filled balloon at her friend and ran off down the
And so began the first of what would be many water balloon fights that would take place at these
It was just what the kids needed and soon they were all laughing as they ducked and dived,
even though most of them were soaking wet within seconds. Only Vauxia and Ysabelle had the
necessary athletic skills to dodge most of the throws! But that didn't matter, everyone was
having a great time.
"Take that Vox! yelled Becks, only to realise that three balloons were heading straight at him!
"Oh man.." he said as he failed to out-manoeuvre them, and they knocked him flat over.
Marcus stood a little way back, quite happy to watch everyone. It was funny enough to see them
fail at staying dry, and this way he could keep his hair nice and shiny he figured.
"Nah nah! You can't hit me because my Mum will smite you!" mocked Jingo
"Yeah right!" laughed Sid. "The worst Gin can do is fall down the stairs at us, or suggest we
have a dorky outfit. Which she seems to have already done to you!"
"..You want me to tell my Dad?"
"Er, no thanks."
"Lay off my cousin, Sidneyia! He can't help being a little soft and weird." said Metis, as he failed
to avoid yet another splatting.
"Hey!" spluttered Jingo from across the circle.
"No 'fence Jings, but you take after Aunty Gin a lot more than Uncle Spider.."
"Hey, I've got an idea!" interrupted Jimmy Shrew.
"EVERYONE GET SOREX!"
Eventually everyone ran out of balloons and hugged each other goodnight. Ysabelle gave
Sidneyia and Vauxia an extra big hug and said she'd call tomorrow, just in case.
Being the dutiful Captain Hero that he was, Allozyme felt it was his responsibility to keep tabs on
those held captive at the Town Jail. He was never a fan of criminals and wrong do-ers, but he
was looking forward to his rounds less and less these days - for one very good reason.
"I can't believe you did this to me! You filthy dead creature. I've done nothing wrong, let me go!
You're wicked you are, just plain wicked. My reputation has been ruined, twice over, by you!"
"Oh for goat's sake Lisa, why won't you just give this up?" he said with narrow eyes at the
"Because I'm in the right, that's why! All I ever did was want the reputation I was worthy of, and
that I tried to make my family worthy of. It's not my fault that all went to hell. That was all you!"
"I mean look at you!" she screeched on, "you're the real monster here. It should be you behind
these bars, and you know it Allozyme. You killed, you committed murder. You gave up your son
without a fight, and then just expect everything to fall back into place when it suits you. Nothing I
have been accused of it as evil as that, and yet it's you who's called this town's great protector?
The whole concept's laughable."
Captain Hero let out a long and angry groan.
"Sadly not Lisa. A lot has happened since we met you'll find."
"Mostly, that you're now in prison! Nah na, nah na you're in ja-il!"
"Oh, shut up you pillock." Lisa scowled.
Allozyme laughed, and turned to go.
"You know what? I really should just drop a satellite on you and be done with it.." Allozyme
sighed as he lurched off.
"Oh yeah? Then why don't you? At least I couldn't have to look at your foul being any more."
"Because things change, Lisa. And there will be no more killing here, that's the best way. I've
learnt that now." he smiled.
"Argh!" Lisa screamed.
"What the heck is it now?" growled Allozyme. He wanted to get home, Ysabelle had been baking
cakes that afternoon.
"I.. I feel kind of strange.." Lisa said in a quiet voice.
"What? WHAT!? I'm old? But I can't be old! I'm Lisa Bauchman, I don't get old. What have you
done, what have you done to me you hideous freak! As if you haven't ruined my life enough, you
go and do this to me!"
"Ahaha! You have to age!" the zombie said, and started laughing again. "And I get to be around
with my family forever, ahaha! Serves you right." he added.
"But.. I don't want to be old. What will everyone think when they see me like this? I'll be ruined!
"You're really expecting visitors?" Allozyme snickered.
Lisa shot him yet another horrible glare, but the zombie decided he'd seen enough of those for
one, albeit immortal, lifetime.
"Goodbye Lisa. I would say see you again soon, but I think I'll let Dorian take this route from now
on. Please, enjoy your stay here and oh, don't expect any calls."
"You're a bastard Tegenaria, an evil evil bastard!" Lisa screamed for the last time.
"Nah. I'm just a pissed-off zombie."
Allozyme grinned to himself, and left the prison for good.
"Gosh, I can't believe another birthday has come around already.."
Menidia was biting her nails in her current favourite station, staring out the study area's window
hoping upon hope to catch a glimpse of some familiar blonde hair.
"I-I don't want to think the worst, b-but.. It's been quite a long time. I know we keep saying he's
ok, and I know what Gin said, and I know The Watch is helping, and I-I know that.. I don't know.
It's been quite a long time, and I don't like it one bit."
"Meni!" Ocean called from the hall. "Come on Meni, it's birthday time! You can even light the
candles for Marella if you like."
And she did, gladly.
"It's so nice to see you two so happy after all these years, innit?" Cadence smiled. "Boys, you
could well do wiv takin' a leaf out your Grandparents books sometimes you knows! It don't 'ave
to be all sulky faces and frowns."
"But I don't want to kiss him!" they both cried together.
"I'm not sayin' that I ain't, but don't fink I 'aven't been noticin' 'ow you two in't been gettin' along
lately. Now no fightin' on your sister's birfday, okays?"
It was rare for the Contessa to hiss at her children, but it had been hard not to notice the icey
atmosphere between the two of them over the last couple of days.
"Now gets your tooty 'orns out!"
The boys did, and along with Menidia and Ocean cheered along as Cadence twirled Marella in
the air and towards toddlerdom.
"They's just get so big so fast these days! It's well odd. Mrs. Tegenaria, I do believes she looks
right loike you she does!"
"Except for her hair colour, skin tone and eyes you mean?" Menidia smiled. You couldn't help
but smile at a toddler's birthday party now, can you?
Cadence tied up Marella's hair ("cayn't go coverin' that pre'ty face now, cans we?") and bustled
off once again on a cheese hunt.
But the newest member of the Tegenaria family was quite content to sit and cuddle her bear.
Marella is an Aries with a personality of 7/10/6/4/5, so will be naked in hot tubs while thinking of
the serious matter of their cleanliness as she picks leaves and flotsam out of them.
The morning after Marella's birthday, Sidneyia decided it was finally time to try and sort things
out with his brother. And about time too!
"Look, Vox.." he started. "I'm really sorry about the other day, I didn't want to upset you. I don't
know why I said that about Dad, it was really mean. I guess.. I guess I just don't want to be the
only one who's sad about Dad being gone."
"Sid! Of course I'm sad about Dad not being here - he missed my birthday, he missed my first A+
report card - and who knows what else he's going to miss?" sniffed Vauxia. "You didn't have to
go and make it worse, that was so mean!"
"Hey, I'm trying to apologise here!" Sid said a bit crossly. "You could take it better you know
Vauxia, it's not my fault this happened."
"I know, but it was horrid - I really believed you!"
"Stop being so gullible then!"
"I am not gullible! I'm just as worried about Dad as you are, or Mum is, or Grammy and Grandpa.
But Becks told me something yesterday, and it was really scary Sid.."
"Oh, come on! Becks is such a gossip, Vox. He make up stories all the time."
"But this one's true!"
"He said he heard that his Mum and Dad said that Gin said that maybe whatever happened to
Dad wasn't meant to happen to Dad.."
"But that's good news, isn't it?" said Sidneyia, a bit confused why this was worrying his brother.
"No, because he said that they said that she said that.. It was supposed to happen to us!" said
Vauxia, and he shivered.
Sid laughed a little bit.
"Like I said Vox, Becks is a gossip. He's just made that up to have a laugh at us getting scared!"
"Nu-uh, it's true!" protested Vauxia. "It's not funny Sid. And I'm not scared, no way, but.. It's true
Sid, we could be in danger!"
"For the last time, we are NOT in danger!" Sid shouted. "Now stop being so silly Vauxia, that's
not going to help Dad and you've got to calm down, ok? Now STOP SHOUTING!"
Just then the door opened, and the boys looked round and fell quiet.
"Hey, hey.. What's all this racket about, hm? Your Grammy and I could hear you all the way from
Ocean was looked worried.
"Sorry Grandpa." said Sid, as Ocean bent down for a hug. "Vox is just being silly, I was trying to
say sorry but he listens to Becks' stories too much."
"It. Is. Not. A story!" panted Vauxia. He didn't really like having to shout, and so was trying to get
his breath back.
"It's gotta be." said Sid. "I mean.. How could anyone possibly get a Father and Son mixed up?"
"I guess you're right." Vauxia decided. "No one would be stupid enough to do something like
that. I'm sorry Sid."
"Me too, Vox."
Suddenly, a little light flashed in Ocean's brain.
Oh no.. he though to himself, They couldn't possibly have. Is it time already? Oh Taylor, you're
not that stupid.. Are you?
Another chapter over, aww. Hopefully you enjoyed it, so many things happened that I've been
looking forward to writing for quite a bit! Thanks to all the clever people who can make CC,
especially the Wicked Nouk Family and All About Style, who just plain rock. And thanks to you
for reading - still! It makes me so happy to know that you guys are still here ;) This has been Gin,
avoiding getting up because I busted my ankle a couple of weeks ago. Cheery bye!
"Boo Kitteh! I iz not the deads."