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The Science of a Legacy: Chapter 35

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  • 1. HELLO! LOOK I MADE A REGULAR CHAPTER! It is The Science of a Legacy Chapter 35 in fact. Proud of me? I am. Okay, it‟s been a while since we‟ve been back in Strangetown so I will do a super quick recap, but if you get really lost do just read chapter 33 quickly for guidance as it sets a bunch of stuff up  But Sid‟s on some crazy mission to get the bone phone for some unknown purpose, Allison is pissed off at Vox for not letting her stand on her own two feet financially, Evil Susan‟s just plain angry, Marella‟s still sad Tyler‟s gone and so Amalthea decided to let them all come on holiday with her and Sid. That was all well and good except while babysitting the Gen 7 kids it led Cadence to running out of cheese and making a trip to Harold & Merkins, where she ran into an old “friend”.. So what happened then? THE MAGIC NEXT 145 SLIDES SHALL REVEAL ALL. Or like, some anyway.
  • 2. “So, exactly how did you get away from this serial murderer loitering at the cheese counter again?” her children asked Cadence for possibly the seventh time that evening.
  • 3. “Ooow, I „as already told yous! I roight didn‟ appreciate bein‟ jumped like tha‟ when I was jus‟ out buyin‟ cheese to feed moi lovely grandbabies wiv – so I whacked „im on the „ead wiv the nearest baguette and ran back „ere! Simples.”
  • 4. “Rii-ight..” Vauxia sighed, turning to his siblings. “Are we really going to accept this as an answer? Mum defeated an insane used-to-be-dead guy by hitting him on the head with a stick of bread and running away? It sounds a little..” Not quite sure how to finish, he lust left it with a shrug. “I guess we‟re going to have to.” Marella said to him. “I‟m mean, she‟s here! So..” “It does sound like something she‟d do.” finished Sid.
  • 5. “Exactly. Anyway, enough of tha‟!” “Quite right.” Gadus nodded. “It‟s wonderful to have the three of you back anyway, and as far as I was aware you‟re sitting here to tell us about your holiday rather than question your Mother‟s valiant actions in Harold and Merkins. So – how was it?” Quite happy to change the subject, Marella‟s face lit up and she started to gabble away.
  • 6. “It was fab! It was such a cool idea of Sid‟s for us all to go away!” “I still didn‟t mean you.. Oh, never mind!” “Whatever. But there was this really awesome pirate ship Dad! You‟d have loved it, but we spent almost a whole day just exploring it! ES of course just wouldn‟t leave the cutlasses alone.” “I still don‟t think they‟re as good as a Big Shiny Sword.” interjected Vox. “Shh! What would you know about that anyway? But seriously, it was so much fun. Sid even found a ghost! But not a ghost like Great-great-great Grandma Margaret, this one didn‟t spend the whole time complaining about Uncle Corvus and trying to scare us to death and like, it was the day and everything!”
  • 7. “RO HO HO! A LIPEY LIDEY PWEE! SMALIN FURDY SCHILDER! RAHOOM MAZUBER LEE! LIPNEY LIPEY PUNDER LIPEY LIDEY PWEE! RO HO HO! A HIBER LIBER NEE!”
  • 8. “..Is Sid singing absolute nonsense to a ghost?” “Eh? What? Bit busy „Rels!” “Stop playing that stupid game and look! It‟s a singing ghost!” “Ooh, really? I want a turn!”
  • 9. “RO HO HO! A LIPEY LIDEY PWEE! ..What is this?” “You really couldn‟t sing it you know..” Marella shook her head. “What?! Yes I can! Have you seen me on the karaoke machine upstairs?” “That‟s not the same as a tropical island after half a dozen mojitos.” “Ah. Point taken.”
  • 10. “But enough of that, we eventually left the ship and explored some of the rest of the island. Amy was quite happy in the market picking up things for everyone – did you get your little plastic palm tree by the way?” Gadus nodded. “Excellent. Anyway, Sid went and did something stupid with fire, Vox wasted a bunch of money by flinging it into various pools of water, but me and ES? We totally had the right idea. Hours and hours of soaking in the lovely lovely bubbly hot springs.. Mm, it was bliss. In fact, everything was going really well! Until..”
  • 11. “Er, is it meant to be doing that?” “Um, I‟m afraid I don‟t think so Sir..” said the very worried looking tour guide. Even the Unsavoury Charlatan couldn‟t bring himself to rob such a shocked looking group of tourists. “And I married that..” groaned Amy.
  • 12. “WHAT THE FRAM?! I just wanted to sit down, not get an arse-full of lava! Get it off get it off GET IT OFF!! Frickin‟ badgers this is HOT. BLOODY ISLAND.”
  • 13. “Yeeah.. For some reason after that, we all felt oddly compelled to dig a lot of holes in the ground.” Marella continued. “I did the most.” said Vox proudly. “Does it matter? You hardly found the most stuff!”
  • 14. “I er, well.. Look, the local dancers seemed impressed with my hole digging skills anyway! And as I seem to recall Marella, you spent the whole time trying to sneak off to find the masseuse guy – don‟t think we didn‟t notice.” “You weren‟t supposed to SEE that!”
  • 15. “I thought it was quite fun actually.” smiled Sid. “I can‟t say I appreciated all that time out in the sun, but I certainly did find a lot of interesting things for the effort.”
  • 16. “Fun?!” Vox gasped, “are you insane?! That was by far the worst morning I‟ve ever had! Especially having to dig next to Evil Susan for most of it. She had a spade! Spades have sharp edges! That is not a good combination.” “Yeah, she didn‟t seem to think so either.” Sid sniggered. “Okay – that was true.” Vox smiled.
  • 17. “What the HECK is this?! I‟m Evil Susan, and argh – I don‟t get doused with water that has no business being here up in the air! This is NOT what I signed up for, does anyone have a small child which we can use to plug the hole?” “It‟s alright ES, I‟ve just found some old map so apparently we can go now.” “Thank goat for that. Where are we going, exactly?”
  • 18. Marella carried on. “Turns out we were headed to see this old mysterious Twikki local. But he didn‟t really seem all that mysterious or old to me at all! In fact, he seemed downright lazy, he even had a sign outside his hut saying “The Number One Spot for ALL Island Tourists! ..So why we actually had to waste all that time digging for a map I‟ll never know, especially that they apparently actually sell maps to his hut for $5 in the hotel.”
  • 19. “But he told us that it was tradition for all visitors to fix and clean up the place. Me and Vox weren‟t too sure about that, was Sid was all desperate for „the full Twikki experience‟ or something so he made us do it.” “Oh you enjoyed it.” “No I didn‟t!”
  • 20. “Okay, after we were done it was pretty fun.” “See?” “Oh, shh Sid! But yeah, the place did look really cool and I felt so tropical! The weird guy showed us how to do this cool finger thing – see?” She waved her hands in the traditional Twikki manner at her parents, who duly nodded and looked rather impressed.
  • 21. “And the dancing! Oh my goat, that was SO much fun! The dude taught us the hula, not the one like those freaky girls did when Grandma and Granddad died, but a PROPER awesome one! I think I even saw ES enjoying it. Or maybe she just liked the fact that she didn‟t actually have to look at the local‟s face, it was pretty hard to tell. But either way, it was so much cooler than that stupid slap dance.” Both the boys actually had to agree with her on that last point.
  • 22. “And at the end, he gave Sid a present! It seemed pretty unfair to me though, why was it only him who got a gift? We all helped with the stupid cleaning and stuff!” “Only after a lot of persuasion. It was me who wanted to go there in the first place Marella, and clearly he could tell that I was the only one really interested in the local culture out of the five of us. He gave me an ancient artefact from the Twikki people, it was a great honour actually.” “And who‟s to say I wouldn‟t have been honoured by an ancient Twikki artefact?” Sid looked silently at his sister. “WHAT!? Well alright, point taken.”
  • 23. “My Twikki artefact was far less ancient..” grinned Vox. “It was a shame we hadn‟t spent more time at the hotel really! Eventually Zoe came round after I told her more about Myotis and Pipi, we were getting on so well.. But we kind of ran out of time.” he sighed. “So she said if she ever came to visit Strangetown she‟d drop by. I have a feeling she will!” “Aww, I‟m sure she will.” Marella smiled.
  • 24. “But way before we were ready, the trip was up. I so didn‟t want to leave the Island, but I did really miss Lacey, soo.. Here we are!”
  • 25. “Oooow, tha‟ sounds roight lovely, tha‟ does!” “It really does. Perhaps we should go and visit sometimes Cadence?” “Eh? Go to a tropical island? Is you mad poppet-choppet? No, I don‟ fink so, ravver too much sun for me, I fink. But Sidneyia! It looks like the sun „as done roight wonders for you, it „as!”
  • 26. “Oh here we go again..” Sid sighed. “It is SO unfair! How come he the one that ends up with a tan!? He didn‟t spend hours sunbathing on the beach to catch the rays and get a healthy glow, unlike some other people who really deserve a suntan. He didn‟t want one and besides, it looks ridiculous on him!” “Thanks Marella, that‟s very kind of you.” “But it DOES!”
  • 27. “I‟m sure you‟ll get one next time, dear.” Gadus said kindly as he kissed his daughter goodbye. “You still look more beautiful than ever to me though.” “Aww, thanks Dad!” “An‟ you don‟ look stupid to me, muffin!” Cadence said brightly, giving her oldest child a big hug. “Yes I do Mum. But it doesn‟t matter, I‟m just glad to be home.” ----
  • 28. “Oh come on Ivan, don‟t be such a spoilt sport!” “No.” “Pleeease, it‟ll only take a minute!” “No!” “Why do you never want to play with me Ivan?” “Got better things to do. BITE YOU!” he added, before stomping up the stairs and away from his rather sad looking cousin.
  • 29. “Mine! Get off. Bite you!” “But you weren‟t using it! Daddy says we should all share our toys..” the young girl protested. “MINE. GET OFF. BITE YOU.” “Fine..” Callisto sighed, and left her half-brother to his computer.
  • 30. “Haha, MINE! These little people are stupid, it is fun when they die.. If they were real, I would bite them all, haha! I am sure they would deserve it. Just like all these silly girls.. HahahaHA! He died.”
  • 31. “Uncle Sid, why is Ivan always such a gloomy-guts? Mummy says you can be grumpy too, but I think you‟re much nicer than him! I know he‟s your little boy and everything but..” “And what else has your Mum been telling you?” Sid smiled. “Don‟t worry Lacey, I‟m sure Ivan will come around. He just likes playing on his computer at the moment, but I‟m sure he‟ll grow out of it. Us gloomy-guts tend to after all.” “But I want him to play with ME! Will you play with me, Uncle Sid?” “Sorry Lacey, I need to get going somewhere and haven‟t got time this morning.” But seeing the little girl‟s face fall he quickly added, “But I‟m sure there‟ll be someone around who would love to play with you! Why not ask them?” After some thought, Lacey decided that this indeed was a good idea.
  • 32. So one quick telephone call later, her Number One Fan was there to play and watch her new trick. “You ARE watching, aren‟t you Granddad?” “Yes yes, of course darling!” “Good, because here I go – WHEEEEEE LOOK AT ME!”
  • 33. “Hey! Ivan, I thought you were playing on your computer upstairs?” “Got bored. Want to play this now.” “Well you can‟t, I was playing it! Go away Ivan. This is MY game.” his other sister complained. “Shut up Adrastea. Bite you.” “Why do you always say that, it‟s so stupid..”
  • 34. “Well if you‟re going to bite me, then I‟m going to his you with this controller – so there.” she threatened, waving the blue plastic around in the air. “Whoohoo! Hahaha, I‟ve killed you already!” “What? Hey wait, that‟s not fair!” Adrastea screamed, and quickly turned back to the screen determined to beat her brother.
  • 35. The shouts of the two children carried all the way through the house, and could even be heard in the nursery on the other side. “Let‟s hope you grow up slightly calmer than those two, eh Themi?” Sid said, scooping up his youngest. “Snuggle time?” asked the youngster. “I‟m afraid not.” Sid replied, popping the little boy into his crib. “I‟ve got to go and see someone, but I‟ll be back really soon okay? It‟s just across the road, promise.”
  • 36. “..I always forget just how different over the road is.” But shaking his head, Sid went up to the front door and gave a sharp knock hoping that it could be heard over all the yapping coming from within. He didn‟t have to wait long.
  • 37. “Oh Sid, hello! Corvus forgot you were coming this morning..” “It‟s okay, it seems to just be one of those days for everyone.” “Yes. Yes it is. But come in, come in! Family is always welcome.”
  • 38. “So you‟re still breeding pets then?” Sid asked as he surveyed the general carnage of the living room. “Yes yes! Corvus loves them all so very much. If only there was more time to have more of them! But one day, maybe one day. Would you like to adopt one?” “No thanks.” “Aww, that is a shame. But what is it that you came here to talk to Corvus about?”
  • 39. “It‟s the bone phone Corvus, I really need to use it. I‟ve already spoken to Allo, and he told me that you were the last one to have it?” “Have what?” “The bone phone.”
  • 40. “Well it‟s true that Corvus has a lot of bones, the little woofums are always wanting something nice to chew on. But you are not having a woofum, yes? Are you sure you don‟t want one then, Corvus will even give you a sample of yummy bones to take home with you!” “No I do NOT!”
  • 41. “The bone PHONE Corvus!” he tried again, rather exasperated. “The Resurrect-O- Nomitron? Freaky glowy thing that calls the Grim Reaper and brings people back from the dead? You brought Carapace back with it? Grandma Meni turned Allo into a zombie? Been in the family for quite a while now. Any of this ringing any bells AT ALL?”
  • 42. “Oh!” Corvus laughed, “you mean that thing? Oh yes, Corvus keeps it upstairs.” “Thank goat for that..” a very relieved Sid sighed. “So? Can I have it?” “Corvus supposes so. What do you want to use it for again?” “There‟s just someone I need to help Corvus. That‟s all you need to know. Surely you can understand that?”
  • 43. “Of course. And you have cleared this with the rest of the Watch also?” he smiled. “It is a very dangerous thing, that is why Corvus has kept it here and looks after it, so that it isn‟t used carelessly.” “I know I know, I‟ve already had that lecture from the zombie.” “Then that is fine. Because if anything were to go wrong, then Corvus would be responsible - so that is why you cannot go using it without permission. And the Watch are completely aware of this?” “..Of course.” Sid lied. “Now lead on!” Corvus happily nodded, and gestured for his great x lots nephew to follow him upstairs.
  • 44. “Have you given anymore thought to joining us? Corvus still thinks you would be a wonderful Watch member.. And surely Amalthea would want you with us too!” “Like I tell Meloti every time he sees me and badgers me about it – I don‟t know yet, Corvus. I know Amy loves working with you guys, but.. I‟ve got rather a lot on my plate at the moment. Isn‟t there anyone else you could ask?” “We need someone descended from your Grandmother. The options are.. Limited.” “Ah. Well, like I told Meloti. I‟ll think about it.”
  • 45. “Corvus is glad. We need you on our side Sid! But here we are, Corvus keeps the device in this special secret room.” “..It‟s just a door off your bedroom.” “Corvus still thinks it is special and secret! The woofums and tikkies do not come in here, so it must be. But here it is!”
  • 46. ... “Um.. Corvus? I hate to say this, but this room looks.. Completely empty.”
  • 47. “But.. But.. It was here! Corvus knows it was here!” “Are you sure? There doesn‟t look like there‟s been anything in here for years..” “Yes! It was always here! True it hasn‟t been used for quite a while, but this is where it lives!” Corvus said in a rising panic.
  • 48. “It was here! This is the window I looked out of when I made the deal with the Grim Reaper! I remember because I was looking at your house across the street! Corvus is.. So confused! Why would something magically disappear on it‟s own?” “Well, maybe it didn‟t.” “What do you mean?!” “Nothing..” Sid sighed in defeat.
  • 49. “I am sorry Sid.” Corvus said, turning back from the window. “But wherever the bone phone is now, it is no longer in Tegenaria possession.” ----
  • 50. “Love-Father, Love-Father! I am a-getting an A! Isn‟t this most of the exciting?” “That‟s fantastic kiddo! But hang on just a sec Myotis, let me just finishing grabbing these oranges, and..”
  • 51. But just as Vauxia turned around to cheer his son, he found a different child now standing in his place. “Love-Father! LOVE-FATHER! I am also a-getting an A! Please be most a-proud of me!” “Of course I am Pipi!” he cheered, clapping his hands as he watched the twins leap around the lawn. “Well done both of you, that‟s really fantastic you two.” “Of course it is!” they cheered.
  • 52. “And me Daddy, I got one too!” beamed Vesper, eventually catching up with the twins. “I don‟t know if it‟s as good as the others‟, but..” “Do not be a-silly Sister-Vesper!” tutted Pipi and as popped her homework on the lawn for safe-keeping. “You are just as clever as anyone else! No need to a-fret.” “Absolutely Pipi!” Vox smiled. “That‟s fantastic news Vesper! You‟ve all done so well – I think we should all have a little treat this afternoon.” It was three very cheerful faces that lit up in front of him.
  • 53. “Mam! MAM! Look at my report whatsit!” “Eh? Hallie? Is tha‟ you?” “Yeah Mam! Come and have a look!” “Ooow I don‟t fink tha‟s a grea‟ idea at the moment.. Why not go show your Da? Or anyone else who ain‟t a vampire at three in the afternoon?” “Because I want ta show YOU, Mam!” “Ooow, okay. But only roight quickly! Jus‟ cos it‟s you, it is.” “Love you Mam.”
  • 54. After Hallie had promised not to wake up Cadence again in the middle of the afternoon, the rest of the family treated themselves to an afternoon‟s fishing. It might not have sounded much to some of the families in Strangetown, but the children were so excited as usually Gadus and Vox were too busy trying to look after the four of them separately that they hardly got to spend any time all together. No one really knew why there were so many ponds and lawns in the middle of the desert. But there were. Okay? So we might as well make the most of them!
  • 55. “Oh! Oh I think something‟s happening! Um.. What do I do?!” The shouts around the pond called for Vesper to just turn the wheel of her rod, but the little girl was getting more and more flustered with each second. She was looking around for someone to help her, but seeing as everyone was already grasping at their own rods with both hands, she gulped and tried as hard as she could to reel her line in.
  • 56. In no time at all she found herself with a big green fish in her hand! “That was kind of easier than I though,” she said quietly, “but now what happens? Can I put him back? I don't want to take him away from his home! What if he had a family, I don‟t want all the little fishies to be missing their Daddy.. Oh, I wish I‟d never caught him at all!” Vesper sighed and looked forlornly at her catch.
  • 57. “Do not be a-worrying, Sister-Vesper!” grinned Myotis, skilfully flipping a large catfish out of the water and into his hand. “They are not a-minding. Are you Mr. Fishpie? They have been most a-happy here in our garden, and they want to make us happy too by a-coming to live in our tummies!” Vesper gasped at this suggestion. “Do not a-fret, Sister-Vesper. Of course could can be a-putting him back if you are a- wanting. You have so much a-better than everyone! What have you a-caught, Love- Father?”
  • 58. “Another boot..” Vox sighed. “Aww, poor Love-Father! I am loving you very much, but you are no so good at the a- catching of the fish, are you?” “Apparently not.” “It is okay.” Pipi nodded knowingly. “At least you are a-doing better than Grandfather!”
  • 59. “Eeeeep!” Gadus gave out another cry, as he was once again thrown in the air by the collective efforts of the pond fish. “See? This wouldn‟t be happening if they didn‟t know you wanted to eat them.” Vesper said gravely.
  • 60. “I suppose not..” The old man rubbed his head. “But I think that‟s quite enough for today. It‟s getting late and is nearly dark, I think it‟s high time we started getting you lot ready for bed! ..And I‟ve had quite enough of falling over for one lifetime.” And so reluctantly the six Tegenarias headed back into the house, in search of soft floors and pyjamas.
  • 61. “So you four must be pretty worn out by now?” Gadus asked hopefully as the family tucked into some freshly prepared grilled cheese, while Cadence still bustled around in the kitchen trying the get the last little bits out of the pan with a spoon. “ Oh Grandfather, we are not being a-tired yet!” Pipi said, in a tone that implied Gadus should know better. “It is only a-being 8 of the clocks!” “Yes, but that‟s the time that little girls and boys go to bed after their long hard A+ getting days surely?” “Silly Grandfather!” “But..”
  • 62. However not everyone shared Pipi‟s boundless energy, and some little girls were more than happy to clamber into bed after the plates had been cleared. “Mm.. The fairies don‟t come if you don‟t dream about them .. Oh, I don‟t know if I‟ve got enough energy left to dream..”
  • 63. But for the others, it may have been the evening may have been creeping on, but that didn‟t mean that there wasn‟t time for one last hug!
  • 64. One last chance to meet the family ghosts.
  • 65. One more go singing about it.
  • 66. Time to change out of your pyjamas and chat with your Mam about grilled cheese.
  • 67. A few more chances to meet some ghosts, just in case you missed the first eight opportunities! “Um.. Boo!” “Oh, um, ohmygoshI‟meversoscared!” “R-really?” “Er, sure! You‟re a reeeeally scary ghost Grammy Meni! That smile of yours is just so, er, terrifying!” “Oh good, I was worried I wasn‟t doing it quite right..”
  • 68. Hugs? Did I mention hugs? “WHY DO MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN NEVER GO TO SLEEP?!” “Aww, we‟re goin‟, we‟re goin‟..” grilled Hallie, and taking the twins‟ hands, the three of them finally wandered upstairs.
  • 69. But several hours later.. “Pipi? I thought you went to bed hours ago..” “I could not be a-sleeping, Love-Father. I did not want to be awakening Twin-Brother so I was a-thinking that I would come and do some movie watching. Would you be a-liking to join me?” “I don‟t see why not – what‟s on, titchy?”
  • 70. “A-Twilight!” “...Great.” ----
  • 71. “Pfft, what the hell was she thinking..” Outside Harold & Merkins, a very angry zombie was sitting on a bench. “The nerve of her, just barging into my apartment like that.. demanding things from me! She‟d never do that to anyone else, but noooo she‟s just got to go and mess with my life..”
  • 72. “Get maaaaaarried Allozyme! I‟ve picked out someone foooooooor you Allozyme! Do what I saaaaaaaaay Allozyme! BAH. Well at least she‟s not going to think to look for me here, stupid Simself..”
  • 73. “ARGH.” The angry zombie was joined on the bench but an equally angry college student, who sat down rather more heavily than he was expecting. “Excuse me, can‟t you see I‟m rather busy here?” “Whatever bub, it‟s a free desert. And I reserve the right to be pissed off.” she snapped, and angrily crossed her legs and leaned back. “Urgh, join the club.” the zombie groaned.
  • 74. “Fine, I‟ll bite.” she said, narrowing her eyes. “What‟s up with you then?” “My so called „friend‟ is trying to force me to get married again. Which I DO NOT want – and she should know better than anyone that when I get married, things do not go well! You think I started off life like this?!” Allo exclaimed, gesturing up and down his body. “She even dares suggest that she has already chosen someone for me – can you believe that? I‟m not going to go along with her useless plans anymore. It‟s my bloody life and I‟d rather stay on my own than go through that hell again.” “I hear you.” Much to Allozyme‟s surprise, the girl was nodding in agreement.
  • 75. “It‟s your life, no one else has the right to interfere.” “What?” “My Mother is trying to do the exact same thing to me! That‟s why I‟m here, she gave me some money to spend on new clothes to „impress my future husband‟ with but I‟ll be damned if I‟m doing that – I‟d rather stick rusty forks in my eyes. Knowing Mother whoever she‟s chosen for me is a total tool and I don‟t want anything to do with it, I don‟t care whether I‟ve met him or not.” Allozyme smiled. “Seems like arranged marriages are all the rage these days then?” “Gah, anyone would think there‟s an apocalypse going on!” “If only.”
  • 76. “Hey.. Guy?” “Mmm?” “If I don‟t want to go through with my stupid planned marriage, and neither do you, then.. How about we piss off both my Mother and your friend in one fell swoop?” “I‟m listening..” “ Why don‟t we just marry each other?”
  • 77. “No.” “Oh come on! It‟s the perfect plan! So what if we only met five minutes ago? Who cares!” “Weren‟t you listening? I don‟t do marriage! Never again. I‟ve had about as much marital bliss as I can take thanks.” “Eurgh, I‟m not proposing we go and live in a Twikki love nest or anything.. But think about it!”
  • 78. “If you‟re married to me, then you won‟t be able to get hitched to whatever old broad your friend has intended for you. And wouldn‟t that just make her blood boil?” Allozyme turned slightly, and the girl continued. “I can think of nothing more satisfying than seeing the look on my Mother‟s face when I announce I‟m marrying a dead zombie, and not whoever it is she wants.” “I‟m not that dead you know.. But much as I hate to say it, you‟re kind of making sense girl.”
  • 79. “So we get married, make weepy-mop-head cry some more, and get some Family Sim kicks out of it along the way? I‟ve heard worse ideas.” “Family Sim kicks?” “Oh – sorry. I didn‟t mean anything by it, just.. Family Sim. Y‟know. She thinks I must be lonely.” “No no, I getcha.” the girl grinned. “Me too, as it happens.” “Really?” said Allo, rather surprised by this. “And here I was thinking I held Strangetown‟s angle on pissed off Family Sims..”
  • 80. “It seems not.” the girl grinned, and reached for the zombie‟s fingers and twinned her around them. “So we doing this then, or what?” “Looks like it. So shall we make it official?” “Hmm? What do you mean?” With a bit of a stumble, Allozyme pulled himself up from the bench and yanked the girl with him.
  • 81. And so with a rather more creaking body than the first time, Allozyme once again knelt in front of an intended fiancée. “So girl I just met on a bench outside Harold & Merkins who seems to enjoy riling people as much as I do – will you marry me to annoy a bunch of people?” “Oh my gosh!”
  • 82. “You have a ring?!” she gushed, “you actually have a ring? That‟s so..” “Not my idea, the idiot thrust it into my hands while telling me how good my „betrothed‟ would be for me. So in keeping with the plan, I think it only fair it goes to you instead.”
  • 83. “Wow, it‟s really pretty..” the girl grinned, admiring the diamond glinting in the afternoon sun. “Maybe your friend doesn‟t have such bad taste after all!” “Trust me, she does.” “Heh, maybe.” Seeing the zombie struggling to get to his feet, she bent down to help him up as he lurched about a bit.
  • 84. “Thanks, I was slightly more fleshy the last time I did that..” “No worries. And besides, I should be thanking you for helping me out! You‟re a good guy.. er.. er.. What‟s your name again?” “Allozyme. And yours? I feel I should probably know the name of my fiancée..” he smiled. “HA! True, I guess husband-to-be. It‟s Corin.” ----
  • 85. “That was the bestest day EVER Mummy! Thank you SO much, I love the zoo..” “That‟s quite okay Vesper, sweetie. I enjoyed it too.” “Can it not be finished then? Can you come inside and play with the fairies with me?”
  • 86. “Sound great honey, but I need to go and speak to your Daddy for a bit.” “Aww, but you can BOTH play fairies with me then!” Vesper pleaded as Allison bent down to kiss her goodnight. “Maybe another time. But it‟s getting late, and I‟ll be back tomorrow.” “Okay..” the little girl conceded, and with a final squeeze of her Mother tottered up the stairs to bed.
  • 87. “Thanks for taking her out today Allison, I think she really needed it.” said Vox, coming out onto the porch to greet her. “It‟s okay. I still meant what I said though, I don‟t need your help with her Vox, so stop it please.. You didn‟t need to give her money for treats, I could have done that. I did get another promotion you know.” “You did? Aww, that‟s great Alli – well done. You really deserve it!” “Of course I do. And it means I‟ve got a lot more time to spend with my daughter and spare cash to support her. ..Even she did want to spend it all on bread which she then threw into the bushes for the fairies. She does rather like fairies, doesn‟t she?”
  • 88. “Haha, she does rather! It‟s not surprising though, she is growing up in a house with a vampire for a Grandmother and two alien half-siblings after all.” “Ye-es..” said Allison slowly. “Just so long as you make sure she doesn‟t keep any of these silly ideas – it won‟t help her in life if she doesn‟t stay focussed on her schoolwork as she gets older. She can‟t make a career out of fairies after all.” “Oh I don‟t know..” grinned Vox. “Oh, be serious for once!”
  • 89. “I am, I am! But speaking of growing older.. You‟re coming tomorrow, right?” “Of course.” “Does this mean I‟m forgiven then?” Allison sighed. “Not again Vox.. I don‟t want to talk about it, it‟ll only make me shout again.” “I like it when you shout.” “You‟re impossible! You‟re not forgiven, but.. You are reprieved. Just because it‟s Vesper‟s birthday. After tomorrow I‟m going back to being mad at you for interfering.”
  • 90. “I can‟t persuade you to come in, can I?” “No. I‟ve got an early start tomorrow and I still can‟t afford to take any sick days. But I‟ll be here tomorrow for Vesper.” Before Allison could protest Vox took the opportunity to steal a goodnight kiss. “I shall look forward to being reprieved..” ----
  • 91. Later that night after Vox had finally managed to shepherd the children to bed and flopped asleep himself, Cadence hunted around the house for her husband. “Pumpkin bum! Where „as you been? I „ad to tuck „em all by myself I did! Took roight ages, it did.. In fact-” But she stopped when she say the worried look on Gadus‟s face. “Poppet? Is you alroight?”
  • 92. He sighed as the vampire seated herself beside him, a worried look in her eyes. “Cadence.. What if I told you that I somehow know I am going to die tomorrow?” he said slowly. “I‟d say you was well mad, you were! „Oow can someone know somefink loike tha‟?” “I think.. When you‟re an heir, you just sort of know. I know my Mum knew, and so did my Grandmother I think. And I just feel.. That tomorrow it‟s my turn.”
  • 93. “But you can‟ die tomorra‟! It‟s the li‟tle cheesy puffs birthdays it is!” “I know.” “I fink it would roigh ruin their day if you died, it would..” “Yes. But I don‟t know what to do about it. I think it‟s just time Cadence.”
  • 94. “Ooow, you give up too easily melon-mush!” Cadence shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “We „as gots to do somefink about tha‟ we do! It is never time.” “But what?” “Ooow, I dunno! Wha‟ about tha‟ green stuff tha‟ makes you live longer and whatnot?”
  • 95. “Elixr?” “Yeah, thassit.” “I have no idea how to make that.. Maybe Meloti would know, but I don‟t know if we‟d have time. Cadence – you do realise that there isn‟t a way to stop me dying forever, don‟t you?” Gadus sighed. “Yeah, I knows that muffin-top..” Cadence replied sadly. “We‟ve talked abou‟ this before we „ave and I knows what must „appen. But.. Not tomorra. Tha‟ just ain‟t fair.”
  • 96. “Alfough..” “Although what? You sound oddly suspicious.” “I was just finkin‟ about that elixr, and „ow you fink we might not „ave time to get some. I fink I know wha‟ ta do, me li‟tle chicken-lips.” Gadus grinned. “Really? You are full of surprises..”
  • 97. “Ooow yes!” Cadence said happily, giving her husband a squeeze. “We will sort everfink out, we will.” ----
  • 98. Myotis jumped off of the bus and took in a deep lungful of air. “Aah, the last time we are a-having to a-smell the air of the school bus a-being a child.. It is most fresh. And another a-A to celebrate this! Do you not agree, sisters?” Shaking his head with another deep breathe, he bounded expectantly into the house.
  • 99. “Thank you for being such a good bus driver while we were kids, Mr. Bus Driver!” said Vesper in her most polite-as-possible voice, and gave the grown-up a cheery wave. “Well, er, thank you for the garlands of daisies you made me last week Miss Tegenaria. They were most.. Fetching.” “That‟s okay! I was hunting for elves and found those instead, and they told me you might like them.” “Uh huh..”
  • 100. “Come ON Sister-Vesper! We must not be a-dallying, I am not a-wanting any of us to be a-missing our most special cake celebrations!”
  • 101. “Well said, Twin-Brother.” nodded Pipi, pushing past Vesper who was still waving on the pavement. “I am most of the excited, I cannot a-wait to see what is a-going to be happening next when we all get a-bigger!” With a big smile on her face, the little alien skipped up the stairs and through the door.
  • 102. “Hi Pips, ready for your big day?” “SO of the yes Love-Father! We all got more a-As too in a-celebration. Have you seen Grandfather? I must be a-telling him about this information.” “Er, I haven‟t actually..” said Vox a little unsurely. “But why not?”
  • 103. “I‟ve been rather busy today Pipi.” “What with, Love-Father?” “Erm.. Love-Father-y things.” Yes, Vox has FINALLY completed his LTW. I know I could have done it earlier or even in college, but I don‟t think he would have wanted to rush it  Time with female company is a most special thing after all. ..And breakdowns most amusing.
  • 104. While Vox went off to look for Gadus so the kids could jump on him, the four little Tegenarias settled down to their last session of brightly coloured homework sheets. Pipi cocked her head to one side. “Please be a-discussing the impacts of multiverse theory on the a-modern day society.. What the a-fish is that supposed to be a-meaning?!” “I know not Twin-Sister, I have instead just a-drawn a picture of a giant banjo..” “I‟m doing a funny anteater!” said Vesper proudly. “And I‟m given „em Mam‟s new grilled cheese recipe.” added Hallie. Pipi shrugged and drew a big box with wings. It pleased her.
  • 105. “Hey there Sid, Dad‟s not over there by any chance is he? .. What, no! Of course I haven‟t lost him. He‟s probably just gone out then. .. Oh man, I agree. I hope he‟s not going to the Harold & Merkins food hall – that just never ends well! .. Yes Sid, I know. That‟s why we get our cheese delivered to the door now. Anyway, you guys still on for later? Us first – then you guys?” .. Awesome.” As he hung up, Vox could still hear the annoyed cries of his niece and nephew complaining that they never got to go first on birthdays..
  • 106. For so it finally was! The Tegenaria dining room was transformed into a room filled with much cake and many balloons to celebrate the impending teenage hood of Generation Seven. Personally I think it looks great, but apparently not everyone is so impressed.
  • 107. “Urp.. Not four more huge cakes!” Vesper rubbed her tummy at the thought, trying to ease the pain. “I‟m still stuff from last night! And the day before! And the day before that, and.. Why is there always so much cheese here?” “Oh hush Vesps, the cakes and great and besides that ain‟t the point! Look at all them balloons! They don‟t even match!” Hallie sighed. “I bet Mam let Dad do them, I loves him to bits but he sometimes just doesn‟t have a clue..” But before the two girls could find more things to complain about, the twins rushed in to eagerly inform them that their guests had started arriving and the party was A-GO-GO!
  • 108. It took a while for some guests to make it inside and off of the front porch. But the children forgave their Aunty and Uncle for being late, they did someone look extra happy after all..
  • 109. And of course no Tegenaria party would ever be complete without someone starting up a Shrew-step at once! “That‟s shrewtastic Evil Susan! I didn‟t even know you‟d learn the sacred dances of the hedgerow!” Arvi squeaked excitedly when he saw who the first guest was to join him. “I‟m not dancing.. *STOMP* I‟m trying to squish all the little *STOMP* insects buggering off with the sandwich crumbs *STOMP*” “Oh my Shrew, there‟s an insect buffet as well?!” “..Moron.”
  • 110. “Mummy, you CAME!” Vesper squeaked when she noticed Allison, and ran to throw her arms around her. “Of course I did sweetie! I‟m so excited for you on your special day.” the blonde replied, and tried to inconspicuously brush her daughter‟s hair out of her eyes and glance around for Vox. “I wouldn‟t miss this for anything.” “Oh hurray! Have you seen Granddad, Mummy? He‟s been missing all day and we can‟t find him! Do you think the pixies took him?” “Um, I don‟t know honey..”
  • 111. A sudden gasp from Pipi made the entire room stop and turn to her. It wasn‟t often the little alien got surprised, and the expression on her face and little hand clutched to her chest suggested something had shocked her indeed. Her unblinking eyes were fixed on the doorway. “...Grandfather?”
  • 112. “Ooow, don‟t I get an „ello too?” grinned Cadence. “Good afternoon everyone.” Gadus smiled, a bit unsure what to do with his new fangs when making such an expression. “Erm.. Ta dah?”
  • 113. “GRANDFATHER!” cried Pipi as she ran forward to hug him, “You are a-being a Night Grandfather!” “Haha, I guess I am!” Gadus replied, giving his granddaughter a squeeze. “Mam! Mam! You „as made Da just like you!” Hallie shrieked excitedly and jumped up and down at Cadence. “But it‟s daytime. Why are you up in the daytime, Mam?” “Ooow, I know – it‟s roight exctin‟ innit? But we needed to make sure „ee could come to your birthday an‟ this seemed like the best way, it did. Ooow, we can cope wiv a bit of sun if it means seeing me baby girl gorw up!” “Thanks Mam, this is the best birthday EVER!” Evil Susan continued to stomp on things and chose to ignore the vampiric revelations around her.
  • 114. And with the two vampires now in their midst, the family decided the best thing to do would be so starting blowing out the candles as soon as they could, in order to prevent other kinds of burning. So full of excitement, the four children approached their cakes and did the best to hide the excitement on their faces while everyone was watching them.
  • 115. The grown-ups failed miserably. “Come on guys, YOU CAN DO IT!” cheered Marella, who managed to knock a fish off the wall with her over enthusiastic noise-maker twirling. “OOOW, YOU CAN INDEED MY LI‟TLE CHOPPITS!” joined in Cadence, tooting as if there was no camembert tomorrow. Arvi just hopped about at the back with mixed cries of “Happy Birthday to SHREW!” and “Where did the ants go..”
  • 116. “Gadus – I don‟t seem to remember giving you permission to become a vampire..” “Oh. Um, must have slipped your mind?” “Rii-iight.. But-” “Hey, LOOK GIN! The kids are getting ready to blow out the candles!” he hastily cried.
  • 117. Hallie, Myotis, Pipi and Vesper all shuffled forwards and took a good long think about their birthday wishes. They knew not to say them out loud, but each couldn‟t help but smile as they spoke them to themselves. I wish for as much cheese and love as Mam and Dad have! I am a-wishing that sisters and I are never lonely.. To always stay all together, that is a-being my wish.. And I wish.. To meet the Fairy Prince! Yeah.
  • 118. And with that, they said goodbye to their childhoods.
  • 119. “Hehe, I DID IT! I didn‟t burn myself or anything! I knew I‟d be good at being a grown-up!” “You‟re not quite one yet Princess Vesps.” Vox smiled. And raising his tooting thing to his mouth he shouted across the room; “STAND BACK EVERYONE, THEY‟RE ABOUT TO EXPLODE!”
  • 120. The crowd leapt back as three of the kids shot up like rockets more excited to meet Mr. Moon than ever before! After a quick once over each other they decided that their clothes, and especially Pipi‟s new lack of hair would never a-do, and scurried off upstairs. As for Vesper..
  • 121. “Oh, do be careful!” cried Gadus, but it was a bit too late. “ARGH, Uncle Sid! Have you never heard of personal space?!” she cried as she whacked her Uncle in the chest as she grew. “Jeez! That nearly took my eye out – control your kids Vox, why don‟t you?!” “Haha, that‟s my girl Vesps! Nicely timed, sweetheart.” Slightly mortified that everyone was laughing at them and that she too had lost all her hair, Vesper hastily followed the others upstairs.
  • 122. That was the cue for the rest of the party to start grabbing some cake and munch until the new teenagers returned, with small talk optional. “There‟s something different about you, Marella‟s Dad. Now, what is it..” “Very observant Evil Susan! Now, would you perhaps like to state some more obvious facts? Perhaps enlighten us that the desert is indeed made of sand?” “Ah, that‟s it! You‟re in my way. I am not used to having people in my way, you do remember that I am Evil Susan, yes?” And without a second glance she barged past him to grab the last available seat at the bar.
  • 123. “Oh.. Vesps! Just look at you!” Vox gasped as his children made their way back into the party, each one looking more grown up than they ever had before. “So.. What do you think Daddy? Am I pretty enough? Will Mummy think I‟m pretty enough? You look really shocked! Um, is it that bad? I could always ask Lacey to help make me pretty, she‟d know what to do!” “No Fairy Princess.. You‟re beautiful.” “Really?” “Of course Vesps! How could you not be when you‟ve got such a pretty Mother!” he grinned. “Though perhaps.. Tune down the make up just a tad, mmk sweetie? I don‟t want any boys to.. Yeah, less make up I think please, Vesps!”
  • 124. “Daddy thinks I‟m still beautiful..” she said dreamily as she floated into the next room. “But of course you are a-being so Sister-Vesper! We are always having a-said that.” tutted Pipi, not looking up from her hands. “Yes, most of the certainty.” agreed Myotis, and let his twin slap his hand in victory. “HaHA! I am of the a-winning AGAIN!” Pipi grinned. “I am always a-beating you Twin- Brother, I do a-wonder why that is..” Myotis just smiled and patted her on the arm.
  • 125. “Gin? Gin? Can I ask you something?” Gadus whispered urgently when he found the Simself. “I suppose, just as long as it doesn't involve anything even vaguely vampire related.” “What? No, of course not! It‟s just.. At my birthday party you wouldn‟t allow me to announce my heir because no one had decided yet. And with everything that had happened it was something I was looking forward to and then it just didn‟t happen.. So I was wondering.. Please may I tell the children who it is this time?” He flinched as he awaited the inevitable response.
  • 126. “Sure. Why not?” “Oh Gin! You mean it? Really?” he cried in surprise. “Of course Gadus, I don‟t think Vox will want to draw any kind of ceremony when his birthday eventually come around – so why not do it now? You do sort of deserve to do it after all.” “Now? It had already been decided then?”
  • 127. “Yup.” “Oh how wonderful.. But who?” “That one over.. There!” Gadus followed the finger over his shoulder and smiled when he saw where the Simself was pointing. “Thanks you Gin, really. You don‟t know what this means to me.” “Just go, Gadus!”
  • 128. Thrilled, the vampire half-stalked and half-trotted (he still hadn‟t quite got the hang of his new legs yet) into the main living area and the biggest grin possible on his be-fanged face. “I have a wonderful announcement!” he shouted to the room, and quickly turned to face the teenager in front of him. “YOU are the new Tegenaria heir!”
  • 129. “Me?” “Yes Pipistrelle, it is you.” Gadus smiled fondly at her. “Oh, but Night-Grandfather! That is a-being of the most wondrous news that I have ever been of a-hearing! I am really the heir?” “Yes, yes you are!”
  • 130. “Oh I will not be a-letting you down Night-Grandfather! Or Night-Grandmother, and especially not Love-Father! I am a-loving Twin Brother and Sister Vesper, but.. I am a-glad that it is me.” “I know you won‟t, my darling. And there is nothing wrong with that, you will be fantastic and I know that your siblings will agree. Just.. One piece of advice.” “Yes, Night-Grandfather?” “Don‟t go to Harold & Merkins for cheese.”
  • 131. With the Generation Seven heir announcement made, the party was able to continue in full swing! And in traditional Tegenaria style – it made absolutely no sense at all, and defied the laws of physics wherever possible.
  • 132. “Uncle Arvi, this is AMAZING! Why has no one ever taught me the Shrew-step before?” “Because young Shrewette, you have not been in a Shrewtastic enough presence. Consider this your introduction to the World of Shrew. We offer complimentary caterpillar curry on arrival!” “Oh, um.. I think I‟m fine actually Uncle Arvi. Let‟s just.. Do this some more!”
  • 133. It wasn‟t just the kids that were enjoying the evening! “Mm, this is a great party.. I do love a good temporary ban on fighting..” “Well don‟t get used to it.” “Mmm?”
  • 134. “Party‟s over, Vox.” “Oh, but.. It doesn‟t have to be?” he asked meekly. “Yes it does.” Allison replied firmly. “You have to see to the rest of your family, and I have to see to the pile of legal papers on my desk. I‟ve done my bit for Vesper at present, now it‟s time I go and secure her future. On my terms.” “But-” “No buts Vox. It‟s been a lovely evening and I don‟t want to ruin it for her now. So stop clinging to my shirt and let me go.” “But..” Reluctantly he let her go and watched Allison hurry out the door. Vauxia decided he was really beginning to hate money.
  • 135. So here they are, my little gaggle of teenagers! Aren‟t they lovely? And yes, Pipi is the Generation Seven heir, so hopefully you all approve of that  I have my reasons! Now time for some stats as per tradition, before we wiz off to the next party. Pipistrelle Myotis Gemini - 6 10 10 3 6 Libra - 7 10 4 5 10 Popularity – Have 5 Top Level Businesses Popularity – 20 Best Friends Fitness Tinkering Vesper Hallucigenia (gen 6) Libra – 3 9 4 5 8 Pisces – 2 5 3 7 10 Fortune – Become The Law Romance – Become Icon Arts & Crafts Arts & Crafts And unless something goes horribly wrong, Pipi‟s going to get her businesses! ..Oh goat.
  • 136. “VESPER! You‟ve gotten so BIG!” Lacey cried as her cousins strolled through the doors of the Blue House next door. “And you‟re so PRETTY!” “Aww, Lacey!” Vesper quickly enveloped her cousin in a big hug. “You‟ll be prettier in a second I‟m sure..” “Yeah well, you BEAT me! You all did..” “It a-matters not, Cousin Lacey!” Pipi said earnestly.
  • 137. “Yes. It is your birthday too Cousin Lacey, and we were not a-wanting to grow up without you but alas we cannot be a-fitting that many cakes in one house without the a-whole world exploding from too much icing.” “I suppose.. My, how do you always know how to make me feel better?” she asked as she reached up for Myotis. “Because that is a-being my job.” he smiled, and squeezed her back.
  • 138. Because she couldn‟t bear to wait, Lacey dragged a very be-grudging Ivan towards their cakes before most of the guests had even make it across from their cousins‟ party. “Okay Ivan!” she trilled, “make sure you make a good wish, mmk? You can have cake without a good wish to go with it. And smile! It‟s a happy day, so look happy for once!”
  • 139. “I am smiling..” Ivan hissed back. “And I don‟t want to make a wish, just want to bite cake. And you if you‟re not quiet.. I don‟t like all these people in my house, hurry up and make them go away. I do not like any of them.”
  • 140. “Pfft, party pooper.. But I know what I wish. I wish to be just like my Mum. To be as pretty as her, and as perfect as her, and to love everyone just as she loves me to show them all how great it is!” “..That‟s a stupid wish.” “Is NOT! Now come on Ivan, one.. Two.. Three!”
  • 141. And then I win the prize for the most synchronised birthday so far!
  • 142. “Bigger teeth, bigger biting.” Ivan nodded happily as their transformation completed. “Awesome! It worked!” Lacey chirped happily, checking out her new teenage body. “I think I‟d like a few more wishes please.. And clothes, these are so wrong. And yours are even worse! Come on Ivan!” Without giving her cousin a chance to grr, she dragged him off to get changed.
  • 143. And she has a rather good eye, no? Ivan Aries - 10 9 4 6 0 Popularity – 20 Best Friends Games Lacey Aries 7 10 6 3 5 Romance - Woohoo 20 Sims Music & Dance Um, yeah.. Ivan wants lots of friends. So er, who‟s first in line?
  • 144. His cousin apparently. “You are a-wanting many friends too? That is being most of a coincidence Cousin Ivan, for that is a-Twin Brother‟s desire too – and I also am a-wishing to meet many new a-people!” “I know.” Ivan snapped back. “Anything you two can do I can do better. That is why I chose it, dummy. I‟m not going to be left out just because you two want to steal everyone to be friends with..” “Um.. Okay?” “Now be my friend or I‟ll BITE YOU!”
  • 145. And I shall leave you with a picture of our heiress looking rather lovely  It is so GOOD to be writing normal SoaL chapters again, YAY! This took a little longer than I wanted, but blame Dragon Age for being far too addictive! I finished this chapter eventually though.. And I‟m really looking forward to having these guys as teenagers now! Thank you to normal thank yous of people in the world who make lovely and nice CC, lovely readers for being lovely and sticking with me through gaps and axe wielding vamps, and to the box for being very distracting! See you soon soon! This has been Gin, avoiding clearing up all the snotty tissues around her. Bleh.
  • 146. “Do you think we should ever actually.. Go home Marella?” “... Naaaaah.”

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