... “ Hey, Auntie Susan! Come and play! AUNTIE SUSAN!!”
“ Er.. Auntie Susan’s fine over here thanks! Just shuddup and get on with it.”
“ You sure ES? The kids are asking for you to join in!” said Marella, flopping on the bench next to her best friend. “ Really ‘Rels, quite fine over here thankyouverymuch. The further away from the little ratbags the better and all that.”
“ Where are your two anyway?” “ My two what?” “ Evil Susan! Come on, I know you’re not that bad – Nimue and Tempe! Your daughters! I’m surprised you didn’t bring them out to play with the others.”
“ Oh them! I thought maybe you meant my new Evil Thrones. No, they’re at home with all those idiots who tricked me into thinking they were a good idea in the first place. I’m sure they’re fiiiiine.” “ Aww, you sure you don’t want to come and play with Lacey and her cousins then? You look so lonely over here by yourself.” “ Reeeeeally NO.” Evil Susan said bluntly.
“ Fine, but it’s your loss! Don’t worry, I’ll keep you company ES.” “ Must you?” “ I know, I’ll tell you a story! The best thing happened the other day.” “ Oh really, I’m thrilled.” “ I knew you would be! Right then, it was about four in the afternoon, and Lacey and Ivan had just got back from their cousins’ and were still totally running about, you know how kids get-”
“ Marella is this really necessary? I don’t care!” “ Come on now ES, yes you do.” “ I really don’t!” “ Oh, just shut up and listen. Right, so the kids were running riot and then suddenly all of the little ones started trying to join in too, you know how Sid and Amy have like a million kids now-” “ AAAARGH.” “ -and they’re all super cute. Anyway, Sid’s just got this new robot station that’s he’s been playing with – have you seen his tan from Twikki? It’s so funny! – and he was fiddling away with it and..
..5 minutes later.. “ So he’d asked me if I thought it should be red or blue, because Lacey just wouldn’t let him get on with it until he did, she’s got such a good eye that girl you know?” “ Mmmmhmmm” “ Exactly, I’m so proud of her. She’s so much like her Dad! Oh, I miss Tyler. Do you miss him ES? I’m sure you do. But anyway, she was stomping her little cowboy boots until she got her way like she always does, funny thing, and..”
..15 minutes later.. “ *YAWN*” “ Because you know how long lobster takes to cook, especially when yo’re in a hurry and there’s clean bots running about spitting banana skins at you at every chance! ‘Course the kids loved it, and I could see Amy having a quiet giggle too, but Sid was having none of it, so you know what he did?”
..30 minutes later.. “ Rar de hardy HAR! Just like that.” “ Mmmm...” “ But we all looked so funny doing the sea chantey that we just couldn’t help but laugh! It was a pretty awesome day all be told. Don’t you think ES?”
... “ Whoah. Ok, now that’s different. I haven’t looked like this since college. And come to think of it, I don’t remember my bedroom looking like this either. Weird.”
“ Hm, could be worse I suppose. Maybe. Can’t say I’m exactly a fan of memory loss or whatever the fish this is. Something feels different. I feel different. But still Evil. Evil Susan is always Evil. And at least I’m still in Strangetown right? Right?”
“ .. This is so not right! There’s evil afoot here, and it’s not MY Evil. I don’t like it one bit.”
“ And what the heck are these things doing here! On grass as well! Clearly I’m going to need to all my amazingly Evil powers of Evil to sort this mess out. Or I could just-”
“ Take THAT you stupid, stupid pink un-Evil-face! This is all YOUR fault! I blame YOU, and your pointless pink perky pals, you and you fishing FISHING-” “ That kind of action is rather frowned upon here.” came a voice from the road.
“ Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that Evil was frowned upon is this EVIL EVIL place. Now would you point me in the direction of the exit to the real world so I can get out of here, strange little red coated un-Evil peon man?” “ Why madam, you are speaking but gobuldeegook” “ Um no, that would be you.”
“ You are clearly new in town, but don’t worry, we’re all kindly folk around here!” said the stranger warmly and grabbed her hand before she could slap him. “Please to meet you, Ms..?” “ ..this is a total nightmare..” “ Nightmare! Pleased to meet you Mis. Nightmare. Welcome to Riverblossom Hills.” “ Riverwhattumhooha?”
“ Riverblossom, my dear! The land of all that is good and pure in Simdom!” “ You are joking, right?” Evil Susan tried hopefully. “ Why no, Ms. Nightmare! You see this jacket? Tailor made from the harvest of the earth, and I haven’t washed my hair all my life!” “ Oh goody.” “ Here we are one with the land, with the heart and soul of the very things that make us Sims ! Harmony with everyone and everything.” “ Sheep’s bladder.”
“ Can’t you SMELL it in the air, Ms Nightmare?” “ No I bloody well cannot.” growled the newly cristened Ms Nightmare, and hasilty scratched at her arm where the stranger and scarbbled at it. “ I’m going to find some answers, MY way. The Evil way.” “ You mean the Riverblossom way!” “ Shuddup.”
“ THIS is it? Who’s want to build a town here? It’s all so.. Green. There’s EVIL magic at work here, no denying it.”
“ Why hello there Ms. Nightmare! We’ve already heard aaaaall about ya!” A flushed woman ran up to Evil Susan and grabbed her hand without hesitation, pumping it up and down in a rather disturbing manner. Evil Susan wished people would stop doing that.. “ Ms Who? Oh yes, me. Whaddya want? Can I go home now, wench?” “ Why no, you must stay and play our town game, it’s simply splendid – I just know you’ll love it.” “ ..Are there children involved? Pineapple kegs? Evil?” “ Goodness me no! The young ones are all at school recieving a proper education of the matters of the love and oneness we all share, non of this Evil you speak of. What is it anyway? And yes, Gabe sometimes lets us have some of his special juice afterwards, tee hee hee!” “ Well.. Two out of three ain’t bad.”
6 minutes later “ Ehehehe! This is so much fun! I almost feel all giddy! Teehehehee.. Shovel. Time to go home, quick. This is an awfully strong kind of EVIL.”
“ But what specific kind of Evil am I going to need to get me out of this one? This isn’t going to be as easy as scaring Tegenarias in the night, that’s for sure. Come on Evil Susan, think!”
Suddenly, she stopped dead in the street. “ I thought so.”
“ This is all YOUR fault! You impertinent twaddlish twit, take me home!” “ Evil Susan-” “ NO! I don’t like it here, these people are morons and smell like fields and crap. It’s got to be your fault, because things like this always are. I am Evil Susan, and I am not afraid of you.” “ To be fair, no one’s ever been afraid of me.” “ Because you’re as thick as all your heirs put together! Probably worse! Now you know what I’m capable of, I’m Evil Susan, now sort this mess you you little, tiny tiny little-”
“ Aww, it’s alright! C’mere Evil Susan, we’ll sort this all out.” “ ARGH! It’s got you too. Get the fish away from me Gin!”
“ Aww..” “ Actually, you’ve always been like this. Never understood a day of Evil in your life. I’d like to wake up now please.”
“ Wait a minute, what do you mean ‘wake up’?” “ I mean get out of this disgusting dream and back to reality where my Evil is known far and wide and feared, as it darn well ought to be!” “ So you think this is all a dream?” “ Well of course it bloody well is! “ Es..
.. If this is a dream, why would you be dreaming of me?” “ Oh.” “ Yeah, oh.” “ So. So I’m really stuck here? This is real?” “ Yup, looks like.” “ Oh.. Arse badgers! It’s still your fault though.”
“ Hardly, you think I want to be here?” “ It’s full of happy shiny things and crap, this is insufferable Ginland!” “ Hardly, not nearly enough kittens. And I’m here all alone too, no Tegenarias, no Spidey-Spoo , just one bad tempered Evil Susan – I’m feeling just a tad lost. Home sounds quite nice right about now actually.. “ Well..”
“ It’s STILL all your fault, you bean head! I don’t know what you did, but I’m going to undo it, just you watch!” “ Sounds good to me.” “ Nooo, that’s NOT THE POINT. I blame you, and only you Gin – it’s always your fault! As soon as I get my Evil mojo back, you will be smit. Smited? Smoot? WHATEVER, pain thy name is Gin – just so long as my name is Evil Susan.”
And with that, off she stomped. “ .. This place will be mine.. Just see if it won’t be..”
Back at the house that wasn’t-her-house, Evil Susan decided that now was the time for some of her ‘special’ Evil brew of Evil. “ I hate this place. I hate these people. I hate the grass. Argh, WHY isn’t this helping?” she shouted, slamming the cup down. “ Food.. A good Evil stew will sort this right out I’m betting.”
After a while of growly hunting, Evil Susan has to summise that there were relatively few ingredients in the place. “ Shoddy fridge stock, I should have known. No Evil fridge would have this few ingredients, how are you meant to poison anyway?” This led to growly cooking.
“ Grilled cheese, this is so un-Evil it’s not even closely to being Evilly hilarious. I’m not some flake of a vampire who’s addicted to-
Lo! For many many boring reasons I need a break from Science of a Legacy right now, because I’ve been hitting majory blocky roadblocks that have made it grinding rather than fun at the moment. I’ve been shooting big theatrical things over there, as well as another project I’m slooowly working on which is also become hugely big and I seriously need some down time. But that made me not post anything or play my favourite game at all, which just made me even sadder which was horrid and made it all worse and led to me feeling even crappier. So! Evil Susan gets to go on a mini adventure, which will hopefully give me some simple play time when I need it, which I do at the moment. If you haven’t guessed already, this is my attempt at an Official Wacky BoolProp Challenge!
I’d thought of using ES for one of these when she was younger, so it’s fun to actually see what she’s been getting up to in Riverblossom. Eeehehe, she’s not a fan so far.. To make it a properly different challenge for me, I rolled for her stats and aspiration. Not that they came up that differently: Evil Susan Nightmare Leo – 4 10 4 4 3 Fortune – Become City Planner She’s still our girl at heart, don’t worry
This is just until I get over my roadblock, I’m still far too in love with my Tegenarias and hopefully you won’t mind me taking a little holiday until I get my stagingness back on track Deal? Deal. You get MOAR ES anyway, so I figure it’s all good!