Safer sex is consensual . That means you and your partner both want to have sex without feeling pressured.
Safer sex is with someone you feel comfortable with and trust.
Safer sex means that you and your partner are protected from sexually transmitted infections ( STIs ) and unwanted pregnancy.
Safer sex means that you and your partner talk about sexual choices together.
Not having sex is the only sure way to prevent pregnancy and STIs.
It’s okay to wait.
Safe sex is great sex!
HPV (can cause genital warts)
Skin-to-skin contact with a herpes blister or genital wart
And YES , you can get STIs from oral sex!
Itching in your genital area
Burning when you pee
Discharge that smells or is yellow/green in color
Bumps, sores, blisters or rashes in your genital area
These may be signs of a STI.
You should get checked out and get treated right away!
AND , you could have a STI without any signs!
Because it is the only way to know for sure if you have a STI!
You should get tested every 3-6 months.
For more info about STIs, go to: Teens Health - All about STIs
(We’ll tell you where you can go get tested at the end)
I’ve had sex lots of times without a condom and I’ve never been pregnant or gotten someone pregnant.
So far, you’ve been lucky.
You are taking a chance every time you have unprotected sex.
Don’t depend on “pulling out” because pre-cum can get a girl pregnant!
1 out of 9
teen girls from Washington Heights/Inwood
gets pregnant ²
That’s one of the highest rates in NYC!
How do you protect yourself and your partner?
A male condom is placed on a guy’s penis when it is hard, BEFORE any sex happens
A condom covers the penis and catches semen
Check out these websites!
For easy steps to use a male condom, click here:
How to use a male condom
To watch a video demo of these steps, click here:
Video- How to use a condom
A female condom goes inside the vagina
The closed end lines the inside of the vagina
The penis goes into the open end outside of the vagina
Check out these websites!
For easy steps to use a female condom, click here: How to Use the Female Condom
To watch a video demo of these steps, click here: Video- How to use the female condom
The male and female condom should NOT be used at the same time because they can break from rubbing together.
Condoms can protect you during oral sex too! Try flavored ones!
For oral sex on a girl, dental dams can protect you.
For more info, click here: Dental Dams
Well, not always.
In Washington Heights/Inwood
less than half
of adults who had sex with more than 1 person last year
used a condom
the last time they had sex ³
That’s a lot of people having unsafe sex!
They must be used
the right way
you have sex!
You can get FREE condoms here in the resource center!
DO check the expiration date.
DON’T unroll the condom before putting it on.
DON'T keep condoms in your wallet or back pocket too long– keep them away from heat in a drawer, purse, or backpack.
DO use plenty of water-based or silicone-based lube.
DON'T use baby oil, lotion, or Vaseline as lube—they can make condoms break!
DO carry condoms so that you'll always be ready.
(It’s OK for girls to carry condoms too!)
DON’T just rely on your partner to have condoms. Share the responsibility!
For a funny video of some these do’s and don’ts, click here:
Marvin and Lisa - Condom Do's and Don'ts
You can also prevent pregnancy with hormonal birth control until you are ready to have a baby.
3 types teen girls use most:
“ The pill”
“ The shot” – Depo Provera
“ The ring” – Nuva Ring
But remember! Birth control DOES NOT prevent STIs!
Use condoms AND birth control for double safety!
For more info about birth control options, click here: Birth Control Info
You used a condom but it broke or slipped off?
You got caught up in the “heat of the moment” and had sex without a condom?
You or your partner forgot to take a birth control pill?
Plan B (a.k.a. emergency contraception or “the morning-after-pill”) is the ONLY way to prevent pregnancy AFTER sex.
It is a pill that can work up to 5 days after unprotected sex, but it works best the sooner you get it.
It is not the abortion pill!
If you are 17 or older, you can get Plan B from a drug store or clinic. If you are under 17, you will need to go to a clinic.
Click here for more info: Plan B Info
Or call: 1-888-NOT2LATE
Click here for videos with more info: ec123.org
How do you talk to your partner about using protection?
You should talk to your partner about using a condom BEFORE you start having sex.
It’s OK to be nervous!
Choose a time and place where you feel relaxed.
DO NOT wait until the “heat of the moment” to talk about using a condom for the first time.
Speak up! This is no time to be shy. Be clear that you will only have sex with a condom.
Follow through! Live up to your choice to have safe sex every time .
Even if you have been with your partner for a long time, using condoms DOES NOT mean that you love or trust each other any less!
You are still at risk for pregnancy and STIs!
Talking to your partner about safe sex might feel awkward.
Talking to you partner can be even harder if... ⁴
He/she wants to have a baby when you don’t
He/she is a few years older than you
Either of you is drunk or high
If your partner does not agree with you about using condoms, it can be hard to stand up for yourself.
Many teens feel pressured to have sex without a condom
Many teens want to use condoms, but don’t tell their partner because they worry that their partner will think they do not trust them or are cheating ⁵
If you’re afraid that your partner will get very angry or break up with you because you ask to use a condom, you should think about whether this is a good relationship for you.
Check out these sites for more info about healthy relationships:
Is your relationship healthy?
More Info on Healthy Relationships
If your partner says they don’t want to use a condom, have these comebacks ready to pull out of your back pocket….
Your partner says: “Condoms suck. They are so uncomfortable."
You say: “They might feel weird at first, but you’ll get used to it. Plus, we can have fun trying different kinds.”
You say: “Well I only feel comfortable having sex with a condom.”
You say: “How about we try a different brand? Maybe if it feels tight, you need a Magnum.”
Your partner says: “I can’t feel anything with a condom on.”
You say: “Let’s try putting more lube on the inside and outside of the condom t0 make it feel better.”
You say: “But we’ll both be able to enjoy sex more knowing that we’re being safer.”
You say: “You really won’t feel anything if we don’t use a condom because there won’t be any sex.”
Your partner says: “Stopping to put on a condom totally kills the mood.”
You say: “It won’t if you let me put it on for you.”
You say: “Worrying about getting pregnant totally kills my mood.”
Your partner says: “We don’t need a condom. I always pull out in time, don't worry."
You say: “But if we use one you don’t have to think about pulling out and we can enjoy it more.”
You say: “But you can’t control pre-cum, and that can get me pregnant too.”
Your partner says: “Can we do it without a condom just this once?”
You say: “Once is all it takes to get pregnant.”
You say: “I always use a condom, just to be safe.”
You say: “I don’t want to take any chances.”
Your partner says: “But we’ve been together for so long already and you’re the only one I’m having sex with.”
You say: “And I’m only having sex with you too, but let’s go get tested together first. Plus, we can get birth control to make sure we don’t get pregnant.”
You say: “I know it’s been awhile, but why stop using condoms now? Let’s just keep playing it safe.”
Your partner says: “Don’t you trust me? I’m not gonna give you anything.”
You say: “Of course I trust you, but we should still be safe and use a condom.”
You say: “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but we could get pregnant and I’m not ready for that.”
You say: “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I always use condoms no matter what.”
Your partner says: “But I love you. And if you love me, we don’t need to use condoms.”
You say: “I love you, but love doesn’t protect against getting pregnant. Condoms do.”
You say: “I love you, and if you love me, you’ll put on a condom.”
You say: “I do love you, so that’s why I want to use a condom to protect us both.”
Your partner says: “Even if we get pregnant, we can raise the baby together.”
You say: “That would be great when we are both ready to be parents, but I’m just not ready for that right now.”
You say: “I am glad you feel that way, but I still think that for right now, it is better for us to use condoms.”
Your partner says: “But we’ve already been doing it without a condom. Why should we start using one now?”
You say: “But we shouldn’t have been. I was worried about getting you pregnant. And I don’t want to go through that stress again.
You say: “I didn’t know until now how big a risk we were taking. Using a condom will protect both of us. It might feel different but it will still feel good!”
You always have the right to say NO to sex!
Be prepared! Don’t let sex “just happen” without a condom.
Be strong! Don’t let your partner convince you that you don’t need a condom.
You never know till you ask! Your partner could feel the same way you do about safe sex!
Here’s one guy who knows how to play it safe:
Safer Sex with a Condom
So wrap it up! ⁶
You can’t just talk to your partner about safe sex once. Remember that talking to your partner about sexual choices is part of a healthy relationship .
Be aware of your body and your partner’s – if something seems wrong, don’t ignore it! Go get a check-up!
But don’t forget that you might not know something is wrong without getting tested first!
Make using condoms and getting tested part of your health routine!
Project STAY Clinic (at Farrell)
610 W. 158 th St. at Riverside Dr.
Young Men’s Clinic (Males only)
21 Audobon Ave. at 166 th St.
Dyckman Clinica de las Americas
175 Nagle Ave. at Dyckman St
Outside of the Project STAY Clinic
For more info, check out these great websites for teens:
Thanks for watching! Stay safe!
Kaiser Family Foundation. (2006). Sexual health statistics for teenagers and young adults in the United States. Retrieved December 12, 2010. http://www.kff.org
New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. (2009).Teen pregnancy in New York City: 1997-2007.
Olson, E.C., Van Wye, G., Kerker, B., Thorpe, L., Frieden, T.R. (2006). Take Care Inwood and Washington Heights. NYC Community Health Profiles, 19, 1-16.
Bauman, L.J., Karasz, A., & Hamilton, A. (2007). Understanding failure of condom use intention among adolescents: Completing an intensive preventive intervention. Journal of Adolescent Research, 22, 248-274.
Brown, L.K., et al. (2008). Condom use among high-risk adolescents: Anticipation of partner disapproval and less pleasure associated with not using condoms. Public Health Reports, 123, 601-607.
Lil Wayne featuring Kanye West and Static Major. 2008. Lolipop Remix. htp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_HhAfmuUQQ&feature=related
Other references consulted:
Brady, S.S., Tschann, J.M., Ellen, J.M., & Flores, E. (2009). Infidelity, trust, and condom use among Latino youth in dating relationships. Sexually Transmitted Disease, 26, 227-231.
Gebhardt, W.A., Kuyper, L., & Greunsven, G. (2003). Need for intimacy in relationships and motives for sex as determinants of adolescent condom use. Journal of Adolescent Health, 33 , 154-164.
Manlove, J., Ryan, S.J., & Franzetta, K. (2007). Contraceptive use patterns across teens’ sexual relationships: The role of relationships, partners, and sexual histories. Demography, 44, 603-621.
Thomas, R., Cahill, J., & Santilli, L. (1997). Using an interactive computer game to increase skill and self-efficacy regarding safer sex negotiation: Field test results. Health Education & Behavior, 24, 71-86.
Tschann, J.M., Flores, E., ee Groat C.L., Deardorff, J., & Wibbelsman, C.J. (2010). Condom negotiation strategies and actual condom use among Latino youth. Journal of Adolescent Health, 47, 254-262.
American Social Health Association. http://www.ashastd.org/condom/condom_negotiation.cfm
Amplify your voice. http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org
Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing. http://www.health.gov.au/internet/sti/publishing.nsf/Content/excuses