This lesson based upon an article in the September 19, 2002 issue of Truth Magazine Powerpoint prepared by Stan Cox I Don’t Mean to Gossip, But… Kevin Maxey
How To Get Along With Others Mark 8:34-10:31 1-24-10
Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding through a canyon together when all of a sudden both sides were filled with Native American warriors on horses, dressed for battle. The Lone Rangers asks, "What are we going to do Tonto?" What do you mean we, white man!
Hell...is other people! Jean-Paul Sartre, French philosopher
It is clear that some people are more offensive than others. It seems that either they don’t care or they don’t know what they are doing.
We are all human and human and therefore have basic emotional needs that can be transgressed by other human beings.
Harsh truth of life : You can’t please everybody. But since people are social creatures (unless you’re a total scrooge), you just have to learn how to get along.
‘ In everything do to others as you would have them do to you.’ The Bible. Matthew 7:12 (Luke 6:31)
The Golden rule is about love for our neighbor.
Even Christians can be cantankerous (sermon by Eugene Peterson, Keep Believing Ministries )
How do you get along with cantankerous Christians? The answer is, it’s not easy. Cantankerous Christians are both different and difficult to live with. The problem is simply that people are different….there is a surprising diversity in the congregation. We are old and young, wealthy and not-so-wealthy, from Chicago and from distant states and other nations, from different church backgrounds, and embracing a variety of views on the issues of the day. Like Baskin Robbins, our church members come in at least 32 flavors—and the flavors change weekly.
Getting along with cantankerous Christians (sermon by Eugene Peterson)
If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
In everything do to others as you would have them do to you. (Matthew 7:12)
Forgive, if you have anything against anyone. (Mark 11:25)
Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbor. (Romans 13:9,10)
He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness. (Micah 6:8)
And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples. (John 13:34,35)
Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called - that you might inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9)
Jesus became aware that the disciplines were arguing (over who was the greatest among them).
Jesus “sat down,” which was the sign of a rabbinic teaching moment and called the Twelve to himself.
Jesus’ corrective to the disciples’ argument was the principle that the “first,” or most important in the kingdom, was the one who was “last,” or the servant of all.
Life in God’s kingdom focused on serving others, not being served.
Jesus even placed importance on serving children
Jesus said in Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” So Jesus explained his ministry on earth and especially his passion on the cross as service to mankind.
It soon would be evident to the disciples that Jesus had established a standard of kingdom service no one ever could surpass.
Jesus’ followers would be inspired by his selfless service to serve and care for others.
Jesus took a child and declared that welcoming a child was indicative of the type of service Jesus sought.
Jesus welcomed children. This was a new approach in a society where children were usually treated as second-class citizens.
Sacrifice for others’ sake (Mark 9:42-43, 47-48)
Wielding proper influence is an important factor in God’s Kingdom. Likewise, wrongful influence strongly is condemned. The term “little ones” refers to the same people as the word “child” in verse 36 and “children” in verse 37. These people are weak, immature and also could refer by extension to new believers. To cause these to sin would expose one to serious judgment. The point is that God’s followers should be leading people away from sin, not into sin.
Those who are young or new to Christ’s kingdom have no defenses against an apparent brother or sister in Christ who should be trusted, but in fact is teaching them how to mix sin with their new faith.
How To Get Along With Others . . Multiply Humility. 9:33-37
A. Multiply Humility; Do Not Seek To Be . . Placing Yourself In Prominence. 9:33-35
33 Then they came to Capernaum. When He was in the house, He asked them, "What were you arguing
about on the way?" 34 But they were silent, because on the way they had been arguing with one another
about who was the greatest. 35 Sitting down, He called the Twelve and said to them, "If anyone wants to
be first, he must be last of all and servant of all."
B. Multiply Humility; Seek To . . Project Others Into Prominence. 9:36-37
36 Then He took a child, had him stand among them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them,
37 "Whoever welcomes one little child such as this in My name welcomes Me. And whoever welcomes
Me does not welcome Me, but Him who sent Me."
How To Get Along With Others; Magnify All Who Proclaim Jesus. 9:38-43
A. Magnify Jesus With Those Who . Speak Well Of Jesus. 9:38-39
38 John said to Him, "Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in Your name, and we tried to stop him because he wasn't following us." 39 "Don't stop him," said Jesus, "because there is no one who will
perform a miracle in My name who can soon afterwards speak evil of Me.
B. Magnify Jesus With Those Who . . Serve In The Name Of Jesus. 9:40-41
40 For whoever is not against us is for us. 41 And whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because of My name, since you belong to the Messiah — I assure you: He will never lose his reward.
C Magnify Jesus With Those Who . Share An Emphasis Of Influence For Jesus. 9:42-43
42 "But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me — it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. 43 And if your hand
causes your downfall, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than to have two hands and go to hell — the unquenchable fire,
See Others as Coworkers
How To Get Along With Others . . Magnify All Who Proclaim Jesus. 9:38-43
If others speak well of Jesus and try to minister in His name, we should applaud them and try to work with them.
Don’t compromise doctrine in order to have fellowship with someone of a different belief BUT if they speak well of Jesus and the way of salvation, they are brothers in Christ.
Respect persons of different doctrine on lesser matters, but do not compromise about salvation.
Reward from Jesus comes from a proper exultation of His name.
How To Get Along With Others . . Manage Your Influence For Jesus. 9:47-50
A. Manage Your Influence For Jesus . . Sacrifice Personal Allurements. 9:47
47 And if your eye causes your downfall, gouge it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with
one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,
B. Manage Your Influence For Jesus . . Seek The Salt Jesus Gives. 9:48-50
48 where Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. 49 For everyone will be salted with fire. 50 Salt is good, but if the salt should lose its flavor, how can you make it salty? Have salt among yourselves and be at peace with one another." HCSB
Season others’ lives (Mark 9:49-50) In verses 43 and 48, fire is a symbol of punishment. But in verse 49, the purifying aspect of fire is in view. So Jesus’ followers will be “salted” with fire, purified from sin and unrighteousness so that they will not be consumed by the deadly fires of punishment. In turn Christ’s followers are to become salt in other people’s lives . The preservative quality of salt is in view in verse 50. Believers are to serve others in such a way that their lives are preserved, or in other words, nonbelievers are to be led into Christ’s kingdom.
The salt of ancient Israel was extracted from the waters of the Dead Sea by blockading the shallow south end and harvesting the salt left behind after the water had evaporated. The substance left behind was not pure salt, however. The impurities in the salt, combined with humidity, would eventually leach the salt out of the salt compound. Thus salt could lose its taste. This trait of salt presented a rich image to Jesus who warned about the dangers of his followers losing their effectiveness (or saltiness). Christ’s people are meant to be effective in their service, but if they lose their effectiveness, what good are they to Christ’s kingdom? The corrective then was for Christ’s followers to be ever aware of their effectiveness in service in Christ’s kingdom.
Interpersonal skills are critical at work, in the home, at church and around your neighborhood. Practice these time-honored and battle-tested skills to improve your effectiveness as you minister to the adults in your church family.
Interpersonal skills effect your witness.
From “Management by Proverbs,” by Michael Zigarelli
1. Listen closely and actively 2. Don’t rush to make your own statement.
3. Make an effort to look into the eyes of the person who is talking and really listen to everything that’s being said to you. 4. Concentrate on the person’s words rather than your response.
5. If there is the potential for disagreement or misunderstanding, paraphrase what you think was said.
6. Be patient and briefly summarize his or her concerns, points, or ramblings before you share your opinion.
"A wise man will listen and increase his learning, and a discerning man will obtain guidance." Prov. 1:5 (HCSB)
Try to say one nice thing to someone every day
4. Praise others
Praise their work, complement their taste in clothing or home, or just offer a warm smile that says: you are important!
Acknowledge when people are working hard, doing a great job, and contributing. Express that who they are and what they do has genuine value. Practice this with your spouse, employees, friends, pastor, and the adults you lead. Be an encourager and an affirmer.
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…" 1 Thess 5:11a (HCSB)
6. Talk about others’ interests Rather than hoping for opportunities to tell people how great you are, set yourself aside and become interested in those around you. People love to talk about their interests, so give them the opportunity to do so.
"Let another praise you, and not your own mouth - a stranger, and not your own lips." Prov. 27:2
We find creative ways to hide the fact that we’ve forgotten names. Dale Carnegie said, "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." Do whatever it takes to make that sweet sound. You will make them feel special and memorable.
"Your name is perfume poured out…" Song 1:3 (HCSB)
Words are powerful, but more treasured than words are a sincere sacrifice of time or money on your part. So get in the habit of identifying and meeting people’s needs and putting them ahead of your own.
"No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 (HCSB)
Greet people: Greet people. A warm “hello” never does people harm. It also gives people the impression that you’re open and approachable.
Share: Be it some mint in your pocket or a bag of chips, ask people would want some if followed by a handing gesture.
Lend a helping hand: Simple gestures like helping people carry a load or holding a door for them, go a long way.
Respect others: The world’s full of differences. However, prejudice is so last century. So learn to acknowledge people’s uniqueness and respect them. It’s the only way other people with tolerate your own unique person.