Det. Andrew PaleseDet. Andrew Palese
Delaware State PoliceDelaware State Police
The GoldenThe Golden
““Treat others the way you wantTreat others the way you want
to be treated”to be treated”
Bullying DefinitionBullying Definition
• Behavior that is intentional, hurtful andBehavior that is intentional, hurtful and
repeated by one or more persons.repeated by one or more persons.
• Bullied students are teased, harassed, andBullied students are teased, harassed, and
assaulted verbally or physically.assaulted verbally or physically.
Did you know?Did you know?
• The word “The word “BullyBully” use to mean the” use to mean the
total opposite of what it means now.total opposite of what it means now.
• Five hundred years ago, it meantFive hundred years ago, it meant
friend, family member or sweetheart.friend, family member or sweetheart.
Two Types of BullyingTwo Types of Bullying
• PhysicalPhysical –– hitting, kicking, pushing,hitting, kicking, pushing,
stealing, hiding or ruiningstealing, hiding or ruining
someone’s things.someone’s things.
Making someone do something theyMaking someone do something they
don’t want to do.don’t want to do.
• VerbalVerbal –– name calling, teasing,name calling, teasing,
insulting, threats.insulting, threats.
• Relationship BullyingRelationship Bullying ––
gossiping, spreading rumors andgossiping, spreading rumors and
lies about someone.lies about someone.
• Making someone feel left out orMaking someone feel left out or
Bullying can be...Bullying can be...
• One person making fun of another.One person making fun of another.
• One person trying to beat upOne person trying to beat up
• A group of people ganging upA group of people ganging up
against others.against others.
Bullying – You Decide?Bullying – You Decide?
• Jennifer recently broke up withJennifer recently broke up with
her boyfriend Andrew. Andrewher boyfriend Andrew. Andrew
is now dating Melissa. Jenniferis now dating Melissa. Jennifer
convinces all of her friends not toconvinces all of her friends not to
speak or hang out with Melissaspeak or hang out with Melissa
anymore. Is this bullying?anymore. Is this bullying?
Bullying – You DecideBullying – You Decide
• When John walks in the hallwayWhen John walks in the hallway
to his class, Chris repeatedlyto his class, Chris repeatedly
knocks his books out of his handknocks his books out of his hand
everyday. Is this bullying?everyday. Is this bullying?
How does it make youHow does it make you
Kristina A CalcoKristina A Calco
Does it have to be aDoes it have to be a
part of growing up?part of growing up?
• Each and every person has theEach and every person has the
right to feel safe in school and inright to feel safe in school and in
Characteristics of aCharacteristics of a
• Excited by their bullying behaviorExcited by their bullying behavior
• Enjoy feelings of power and controlEnjoy feelings of power and control
• Enjoy causing painEnjoy causing pain
• Can be a below average, average or aboveCan be a below average, average or above
average studentaverage student
• Lack compassion and empathy for their targetsLack compassion and empathy for their targets
• Can be all shapes and sizesCan be all shapes and sizes
Who is aWho is a
• Doesn’t fit inDoesn’t fit in
• Physically weakPhysically weak
• Facial appearanceFacial appearance
• Good gradesGood grades
• If you usually are alone and don't haveIf you usually are alone and don't have
many friends.many friends.
• If you don't have a lot of confidence andIf you don't have a lot of confidence and
don't stand up for yourselfdon't stand up for yourself..
Ways to avoid futureWays to avoid future
• Don’t bring expensive things or money to schoolDon’t bring expensive things or money to school
• Hang out with friendsHang out with friends
• Avoid unsupervised areasAvoid unsupervised areas
• Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to classSit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class
• Don’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occursDon’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs
• Get funnyGet funny
• Don’t act scaredDon’t act scared
““No one can make you feel inferior without yourNo one can make you feel inferior without your
consent”. – Eleanor Rooseveltconsent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Report, Report,Report, Report,
• Report it to a trustedReport it to a trusted
adult immediatelyadult immediately
• BE A HEROBE A HERO
Part of the problem not the solution
Be a HeroBe a Hero
• Encourage other bystanders to help stop
the bullying incident by being assertive.
• Make friends with someone who
continually gets picked on.
• Report it or send someone to a trusted
• You are a key player in stopping bullying.
Report vs TattlingReport vs Tattling
• Tattling –– Is trying to get someone inIs trying to get someone in
• Reporting –– When you report bullying youWhen you report bullying you
are helping someone else.are helping someone else.
• The bully is someone others look upThe bully is someone others look up
to and want to hang out with.to and want to hang out with.
• They want to “side” with the bullyThey want to “side” with the bully
because it makes them feel strong.because it makes them feel strong.
• They’re entertained by the bullyingThey’re entertained by the bullying..
• They don’t think speaking upThey don’t think speaking up
will help.will help.
• They’re afraid that if they sayThey’re afraid that if they say
something, the bully will turn onsomething, the bully will turn on
Some things you can say if someone isSome things you can say if someone is
getting bullied.getting bullied.
Ask Yourself TheseAsk Yourself These
• Does it make you feel better to hurt otherDoes it make you feel better to hurt other
people or take their things?people or take their things?
• Are you bigger and stronger than otherAre you bigger and stronger than other
people your age?people your age?
• Do you sometimes use your size andDo you sometimes use your size and
strength to get your way?strength to get your way?
• Have you been bullied by someone in theHave you been bullied by someone in the
past and feel like you have to make up forpast and feel like you have to make up for
doing the same thing to others?doing the same thing to others?
• Do you avoid thinking about how otherDo you avoid thinking about how other
people might feel if you say or do hurtfulpeople might feel if you say or do hurtful
things to them?things to them?
Ask Yourself These QuestionsAsk Yourself These Questions
If you are a bully, hereIf you are a bully, here
are some ways to stopare some ways to stop
• Apologize to people that you haveApologize to people that you have
bullied, and follow it up by beingbullied, and follow it up by being
• They might not trust you right away,They might not trust you right away,
but eventually they will see that youbut eventually they will see that you
have changed.have changed.
More ways toMore ways to
• If you are having a hard time feelingIf you are having a hard time feeling
good about yourself, explore ways togood about yourself, explore ways to
boost your self-esteem. (Sports)boost your self-esteem. (Sports)
• If you feel like you’re having troubleIf you feel like you’re having trouble
controlling your feelings, especiallycontrolling your feelings, especially
anger, talk to a school counselor about it.anger, talk to a school counselor about it.
The GoldenThe Golden
““Treat others the wayTreat others the way
you want to beyou want to be