Dealing with Difficult people

How do you define “difficult person” ?

Seven classic:

Hostile Aggressive

Complainant unpleasant querulous

Impassive

flatterer

Negativistic

Smart Aleck

undecided hesitant

But...

How to deal with difficult people ?

Follow 4 steps: Understanding myself Manage myself Understand the other person Do something to change the relationship with the person

Understanding myself

Manage myself

Understand the other person

Do something to change the relationship with the person

Follow 4 steps: Understanding myself √ Manage myself Understand the other person Do something to change the relationship with the person

Understanding myself √

Manage myself

Understand the other person

Do something to change the relationship with the person

Am I a difficult person ?

How do I know ?

The beliefs of difficult people

I must be loved by all I must be perfect in everything I do Everyone must be perfect I can have little control over what happens to me Discord avoided at all costs People do not change Some people are good and some are bad The world should be perfect and it is terrible when it is not People are fragile and should be protected from the truth There are other people to make me happy and I can’t be happy without them The crises are destructive and you didn’t learn anything from this There is a perfect job and I must find this I should not have problems. If I has, I am incompetent

I must be loved by all

I must be perfect in everything I do

Everyone must be perfect

I can have little control over what happens to me

Discord avoided at all costs

People do not change

Some people are good and some are bad

The world should be perfect and it is terrible when it is not

People are fragile and should be protected from the truth

There are other people to make me happy and I can’t be happy without them

The crises are destructive and you didn’t learn anything from this

There is a perfect job and I must find this

I should not have problems. If I has, I am incompetent

Do you have any of these beliefs ?

Follow 4 steps: Understanding myself √ Manage myself √ Understand the other person Do something to change the relationship with the person

Understanding myself √

Manage myself √

Understand the other person

Do something to change the relationship with the person

To change the attitude of the person you must change yours.

How Influence Dale Carnigie Start with a compliment and a sincere appreciation Call attention to the mistakes of another person from an indirect way Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person Let the other person save his own prestige

Start with a compliment and a sincere appreciation

Call attention to the mistakes of another person from an indirect way

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

Let the other person save his own prestige

How Influence Dale Carnigie Praise the least progress and praise each progress Give the other person a good reputation to ensure Make easy to correct faults Make the other person to feel happy doing what you suggest

Praise the least progress and praise each progress

Give the other person a good reputation to ensure

Make easy to correct faults

Make the other person to feel happy doing what you suggest

Follow 4 steps: Understanding myself √ Manage myself √ Understand the other person √ Do something to change the relationship with the person

Understanding myself √

Manage myself √

Understand the other person √

Do something to change the relationship with the person

“ ... All the people have a set of values and beliefs that guides their behavior throughout life and especially in meetings with other people ....” Negotiations and influencing Skills: The art of creating and claiming value Brad McRae

“ ... All the people have a set of values and beliefs that guides their behavior throughout life and especially in meetings with other people ....”

Interview

Interview Factual questions where do you born? Where do you live? Causing Questions Why do you chose this profession? Why do you decide to run your own business? Personal Values Question What will make you change your job? What will make you move from your city?

Interview make the analysis : Which values do you realize? When these values was reveled? What kind of dificult behaviors she or he has? What behaviors will be unacceptable to him or her?

Interview What you should care: See if you can ask …. Let the person speak ...

Interview learn the person’s values helps you : Understand he or she; Improve the way you see the person; Predict the behavior of the person; Learn to respect the person;

Follow 4 steps: Understanding myself √ Manage myself √ Understand the other person √ Do something to change the relationship with the person √

Understanding myself √

Manage myself √

Understand the other person √

Do something to change the relationship with the person √

Difficult People are predictible.

Difficult People are predictible.

You have to make a action plan.

You have to make a action plan.

Anticipate all the reactions of the person for your actions.

Anticipate all the reactions of the person for your actions.

Define what you will do depending on the reaction of the person.

Define what you will do depending on the reaction of the person.

Make a Plan B for use in the worst situation.

Make a Plan B for use in the worst situation.

“ Difficult p eople are part of life. The future of humanity depends on learning to live with each other, regardless of our differences.” Dealing with peolple you can´t stand Dr. Rick Brinkman e Dr. Rick Kirschner

“ Difficult p eople are part of life. The future of humanity depends on learning to live with each other, regardless of our differences.”

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