How can we listen better?

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Questions that inspire you to listen better. Research included.

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How can we listen better?

  1. 1. How can we listen better?
  2. 2. Question # 1: How can we avoid to interrupt? Question # 2: Are you more introverted than extroverted? Question # 3: What do you value more: Listening or speaking? Question # 4: In your next conversation, what do you plan to listen for? Question # 5: What do you think about repeating what you heard the person say? Question # 6: How can you reduce your need to be right? Question # 7: How can we ask more and better questions? Question # 8: How can we stop doing other things when we listen to someone? Question # 9: How can you have more eye contact with the person you listen to? Question # 10: How do we listen to a person’s body language? Question # 11: What do you think about taking notes about what you hear? Question # 12: What can we do to not judge too early?
  3. 3. Question # 1 How can we avoid to interrupt?
  4. 4. When you interrupt, or when you plunge in too quickly to make yourself heard, you are behaving impatiently. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  5. 5. Be mindful that a pause, even a long one, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished. Let the speaker continue in her or his own time. http://smartblogs.com/leadership/2014/11/07/become-a-great-listener/
  6. 6. Silence can buy you time to think. http://www.fastcompany.com/3038222/4-habits-of-good-listeners
  7. 7. Silence can be one of the most powerful forms of communication. https://hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  8. 8. http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-secret-and-power-of-listening/ Close your mouth
  9. 9. Question # 2 Are you more introverted or more extroverted?
  10. 10. Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Introvert-and-extrovert-2037536
  11. 11. Question # 3 What do you value more: Listening or speaking?
  12. 12. Today, will you decide to wear a learning lens or a lecturing lens? https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2015/11/listening-learning-lens/
  13. 13. To fully listen, you must first believe it is a critical part of your job. https://hbr.org/2014/04/what-gets-in-the-way-of-listening/
  14. 14. Some of us may have had early experiences in life where we were taught to be listeners instead of speakers. Some of us were taught that it was weak to listen, that we need to speak up. https://hbr.org/2015/01/how-to-really-listen-to-your-employees
  15. 15. For most of my 20s, I assumed that the world was more interested in me than I was in it, so I spent most of my time talking, usually in a quite uninformed way, about whatever I thought, rushing to be clever, thinking about what I was going to say to someone rather than listening to what they were saying to me. http://www.lifechngr.com/business/productivity-creativity/8-successful-entrepreneurs-give-their-younger-selves-lessons-they-wish-theyd-known-then-fast-company-business-innovation/ Paul Bennett
  16. 16. Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Questions-to-discover-your-values-1329394
  17. 17. Question # 4 In your next conversation, what do you plan to listen for?
  18. 18. Before the talking begins, skilled learners mentally review what they already know about the subject. Then they set a goal for what to listen for. http://blogs.kqed.org/mindshift/2013/10/ready-to-learn-the-key-is-listening-with-intention/
  19. 19. Examples of what to listen for:  Needs and wants.  Values.  Purpose.  Emotions.  Problems. https://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2016/02/21/five-things-that-go-up-when-leaders-listen/
  20. 20. http://www.fastcompany.com/3038222/4-habits-of-good-listeners 2 additional questions to ask yourself: 1. What is the purpose of the interaction? 2. What do you think you can learn?
  21. 21. Question # 5 What do you think about repeating what you heard using your own words?
  22. 22. Person A It’s impossible to work like this! Person B What I hear is / if I understand you correctly, you find it difficult to work in these conditions. Adapted from Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 157-158.
  23. 23. The listener does not have to agree with the speaker - he or she must simply repeat what he/she thinks the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. Sources http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/activel.htm https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html https://hbr.org/2013/07/practical-tips-for-overcoming-r http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/06/there-is-a-difference-between-listening-and-waiting-for-your-turn-to---speak-just-because-someone-can-hear-doesnt-mean-t.html
  24. 24. Question # 6 How can you reduce your need to be right?
  25. 25. Ability to pay attention Need to be right Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 156.
  26. 26. When you’ve had a long day and your partner is talking through his or her stresses, it’s tempting to let your partner know just how much bigger and more important your own issues are. That only creates tension. Learn to simply listen and offer help to your partner. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  27. 27. There has to be a certain humility to listen well. Kevin Sharer https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/Why_Im_a_listener_Amgen_CEO_Kevin_Sharer_2956
  28. 28. Try to reassure the person you speak with that you empathize with what she / he is saying. http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
  29. 29. Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Social-competence-1600674
  30. 30. Question # 7 How can we ask more and better questions?
  31. 31. By asking questions, you can clarify what the person really needs. https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool
  32. 32. Ask questions from a position of curiosity. http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/transform/dialog.htm
  33. 33. Examples of questions to ask  What do you think?  How do you feel about it?  Can you tell me more about that?  What happened next?  What does that really mean?  How do you think that will go?  Why did you say that? Sources https://hbr.org/2013/03/for-real-influence-use-level-f https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool http://leaderchat.org/2012/09/03/3-tips-for-better-listening-and-the-one-attitude-that-makes-all-the-difference https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-become-better-listener-dr-travis-bradberry
  34. 34. Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Question-types-1567673
  35. 35. Question # 8 How can we stop doing other things when we listen to someone?
  36. 36. Try to focus on what the other person is saying. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-become-better-listener-dr-travis-bradberry
  37. 37. Effective listening requires our focused attention. To listen well, eliminate all distractions. https://hbr.org/2015/02/how-great-coaches-ask-listen-and-empathize
  38. 38. The human mind is unable to genuinely focus on 2 activities at once. Visible learning and the science of how we learn, location 2500. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/769046140
  39. 39. Listen. That means do not multitask. I’m not just talking about doing email, surfing the web, or creating a grocery list. Thinking about what you’re going to say next counts as multitasking. Simply focus on what the other person is saying. https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
  40. 40. The moment you remove your attention from a task, you can expect no meaningful learning or skill development to take place. Visible learning and the science of how we learn, location 2500. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/769046140
  41. 41. You can’t pick up on facial expressions if your gaze is down at your phone. https://hbr.org/2015/01/how-to-really-listen-to-your-employees
  42. 42. Question # 9 How can you have more eye contact with the person you listen to?
  43. 43. By observing what a person gets energized about, you can find out what she / he really wants to say. https://hbr.org/2016/05/listening-is-an-overlooked-leadership-tool
  44. 44. Eye contact helps develop trust. Addis, Scott: Body language. Actions speak louder than words. Rough Notes, July 2008.
  45. 45. Question # 10 How do we listen well to a person’s body language?
  46. 46. Voice 38% Body language 55% impact Use of words 7% impact Sources http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian http://blog.doubleslash.de/richtige-kommunikation-im-softwareprojekt/
  47. 47. When we remain silent, we improve the odds that we’ll spot nonverbal cues we might have missed otherwise. https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/The_executives_guide_to_better_listening_2931
  48. 48. Nonverbal cues could indicate what the speaker isn't saying. Often what she is not saying is as important as what she is. http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/managementtip.php?date=012810
  49. 49. http://www.howcast.com/videos/218107-How-To-Be-a-Good-Listener
  50. 50. Adopting words, body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker will allow the speaker to relax and open up more. Sources http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
  51. 51. Question # 11 What do you think about taking notes about what you hear?
  52. 52. When you notice something has blocked you from listening, simply make a note of it and shift your attention back to what the other person is saying. https://hbr.org/2014/04/what-gets-in-the-way-of-listening/
  53. 53. Once you write it down, you have put it in your brain. http://barongroup.com/images/Are_you_listening.pdf
  54. 54. Further inspiration https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Learning-strategies-1487708
  55. 55. Question # 12 What can we do to not judge too early?
  56. 56. People can listen 3 – 5 times faster than they can talk. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/ http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
  57. 57. Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
  58. 58. http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide
  59. 59. Judgments and decisions should be reserved until after the talker has finished. At that time, and only then, review his main ideas and assess them. https://hbr.org/1957/09/listening-to-people/ar/1
  60. 60. Instead of judging a person you listen to, judge yourself: An idea might not strike you immediately, but if you give it time, and a little thought, the idea could surprise you. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  61. 61. Further inspiration http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ https://hbr.org/2015/02/everything-you-need-to-know-about-becoming-a-better-listener https://hbr.org/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432 http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better.html http://online.wsj.com/articles/tuning-in-how-to-listen-better-1406070727 http://youtu.be/cSohjlYQI2A http://youtu.be/NjUic9WqLrg

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