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14 listening tips. …

14 listening tips.

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  • 1. Listening tips
  • 2. Idea # 1 Stop talking
  • 3. http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-secret-and-power-of-listening/
  • 4. Silence can be one of the most powerful forms of communication. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  • 5. When we remain silent, we also improve the odds that we’ll spot nonverbal cues we might have missed otherwise. https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/The_executives_guide_to_better_listening_2931
  • 6. Idea # 2 Do not interrupt
  • 7. Try not to interrupt. http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/ http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
  • 8. When you interrupt, or when you plunge in too quickly to make yourself heard, you are behaving impatiently. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  • 9. Idea # 3 Stop doing other things
  • 10. Listen. That means don’t multitask. I’m not just talking about doing email, surfing the web, or creating a grocery list. Thinking about what you’re going to say next counts as multitasking. Simply focus on what the other person is saying. http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
  • 11. The human mind is unable to genuinely focus on 2 activities at once. The moment you remove your attention from a task, you can expect no meaningful learning or skill development to take place. Visible learning and the science of how we learn, location 2500. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/769046140
  • 12. Idea # 4 Set a goal for what to listen for
  • 13. Before the talking begins, skilled learners mentally review what they already know about the subject. Then they set a goal for what to listen for. http://blogs.kqed.org/mindshift/2013/10/ready-to-learn-the-key-is-listening-with-intention/
  • 14. Idea # 5 Face the person
  • 15. Dominant communication Effective communication Passive communication Starring. Body leaning backwards. Pointing finger. Eye contact. Body facing the person. Open hands. No eye contact. Closed, sunk down body. No use of hands.
  • 16. Eye contact helps develop trust. Addis, Scott: Body language. Actions speak louder than words. Rough Notes, July 2008.
  • 17. Some people may avoid eye contact because  they are shy.  they were taught it was disrespectful to have eye contact with superiors. Clark, Thomas: Sharing the importance of attentive listening skills. Journal of Management Education, April 1999.
  • 18. In the Korean culture, it is considered a sign of extreme disrespect for a young person, especially a woman, to look straight into the eyes of an older person. Sclavi, Marianella: The role of play and humor in creative conflict management. Negotiation Journal, April 2008.
  • 19. Idea # 6 Watch the body language
  • 20. Voice 38% Body language 55% impact Use of words 7% impact Sources http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian http://blog.doubleslash.de/richtige-kommunikation-im-softwareprojekt/
  • 21. The body always tells the truth. http://www.bodieslanguage.com/
  • 22. Watch nonverbal cues that could indicate what the speaker isn't saying. Often what she is not saying is as important as what she is. http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/managementtip.php?date=012810
  • 23. http://www.howcast.com/videos/218107-How-To-Be-a-Good-Listener
  • 24. Idea # 7 Take notes
  • 25. Once you write it down, you’ve put it in your brain. http://barongroup.com/images/Are_you_listening.pdf
  • 26. http://hpathy.com/homeopathy-papers/the-unspoken-language/
  • 27. Take notes – after asking for permission. http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432 http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2014/04/22/0956797614524581.abstract
  • 28. Idea # 8 Ask questions
  • 29. Examples of questions  Can you tell me more about that?  What does that really mean?  How do you feel about it?  How do you think that will go? Sources http://leaderchat.org/2012/09/03/3-tips-for-better-listening-and-the-one-attitude-that-makes-all-the-difference/ http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/03/for_real_influence_use_level_f.html
  • 30. By asking questions you draw other people in and engage them. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1195123/how_to_be_a_brilliant_conversationalist.html?cat=41
  • 31. Ask questions from a position of curiosity. http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/transform/dialog.htm
  • 32. Aggressive communication Effective communication Passive communication Giving answers. Asking clarifying, open, and specific questions help people to, for example:  feel good.  think. Not saying anything.
  • 33. Types of questions http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/question-types
  • 34. Idea # 9 Give feedback
  • 35. Feedback tips http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/feedback-tips
  • 36. Idea # 10 Repeat what you think was said
  • 37. The listener does not have to agree with the speaker - he or she must simply repeat what he/she thinks the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. Sources http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/activel.htm http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/06/there-is-a-difference-between-listening-and-waiting-for-your-turn-to---speak-just-because-someone-can-hear-doesnt-mean-t.html http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/07/practical_tips_for_overcoming_r.html
  • 38. Adopting words, body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker will allow the speaker to relax and open up more. Sources http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/ http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
  • 39. Person A It’s impossible to work like this! Person B I hear that you find it difficult to work in these conditions. What things are getting in the way? What can I do to help you? Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 157-158.
  • 40. Idea # 11 Put away preconceptions
  • 41. People can listen 3 – 5 times faster than they can talk. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/ http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
  • 42. Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
  • 43. Judgmental thinking is entrenched thinking. Instead of judging them, judge yourself: An idea might not strike you immediately, but if you give it time, and a little thought, it could surprise you. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  • 44. http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide
  • 45. Idea # 12 Reduce your need to be right or better
  • 46. Ability to pay attention Need to be right Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 156.
  • 47. When you’ve had a long day and your partner is talking through his or her stresses, it’s tempting to let your partner know just how much bigger and more important your own issues are. That only creates tension. Learn to simply listen and offer help to your partner. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  • 48. Idea # 13 Show humility
  • 49. There has to be a certain humility to listen well. Kevin Sharer https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/Why_Im_a_listener_Amgen_CEO_Kevin_Sharer_2956
  • 50. Idea # 14 Be empathic
  • 51. Try to understand the other person’s mindset and to relate to him as he speaks, reassuring him that you empathize what he is saying. http://www.inc.com/tom-searcy/how-to-be-a-better-listener.html
  • 52. Further inspiration http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/social-competence http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432 http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better.html http://online.wsj.com/articles/tuning-in-how-to-listen-better-1406070727 http://youtu.be/cSohjlYQI2A http://youtu.be/NjUic9WqLrg
  • 53. Thank you for your interest. For further inspiration and personalized services, please feel welcome to visit http://www.frankcalberg.com Have a great day.