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Listening tips

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11 listening tips.

11 listening tips.

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Listening tips Listening tips Presentation Transcript

  • 11 listening tips
  • Tip # 1 Stop talking
  • Silence can be one of the most powerful forms of communication. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  • http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/the-secret-and-power-of-listening/
  • http://www.imagebase.net/People/067-copy http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/ Try not to interrupt.
  • When you interrupt, or when you plunge in too quickly to make yourself heard, you are behaving impatiently. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  • When we remain silent, we also improve the odds that we’ll spot nonverbal cues we might have missed otherwise. https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/The_executives_guide_to_better_listening_2931
  • Tip # 2 Stop doing other things
  • Listen. That means don’t multitask. I’m not just talking about doing email, surfing the web, or creating a grocery list. Thinking about what you’re going to say next counts as multitasking. Simply focus on what the other person is saying. http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html
  • Tip # 3 Face the person
  • Dominant communication Starring. Effective communication Eye contact. Passive communication No eye contact. Body leaning backwards. Body facing the person. Closed, sunk down body. Pointing finger. Open hands. No use of hands.
  • Eye contact helps develop trust. Addis, Scott: Body language. Actions speak louder than words. Rough Notes, July 2008.
  • Some people may avoid eye contact because  they are shy.  they were taught it was disrespectful to have eye contact with superiors. Clark, Thomas: Sharing the importance of attentive listening skills. Journal of Management Education, April 1999.
  • In the Korean culture, it is considered a sign of extreme disrespect for a young person, especially a woman, to look straight into the eyes of an older person. Sclavi, Marianella: The role of play and humor in creative conflict management. Negotiation Journal, April 2008.
  • Tip # 4 Watch the body language
  • Use of words 7% impact Voice 38% Sources http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mehrabian http://blog.doubleslash.de/richtige-kommunikation-im-softwareprojekt/ Body language 55% impact
  • The body always tells the truth. http://www.bodieslanguage.com/
  • Watch nonverbal cues that could indicate what the speaker isn't saying. Often what she is not saying is as important as what she is. http://web.hbr.org/email/archive/managementtip.php?date=012810
  • http://www.howcast.com/videos/218107-How-To-Be-a-Good-Listener
  • Tip # 5 Take notes
  • Once you write it down, you’ve put it in your brain. http://barongroup.com/images/Are_you_listening.pdf
  • http://hpathy.com/homeopathy-papers/the-unspoken-language/
  • Take notes – after asking for permission. http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432
  • Tip # 6 Ask questions
  • Examples of questions  Can you tell me more about that?  What does that really mean?  How do you feel about it?  How do you think that will go? Sources http://leaderchat.org/2012/09/03/3-tips-for-better-listening-and-the-one-attitude-that-makes-all-the-difference/ http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/03/for_real_influence_use_level_f.html
  • By asking questions you draw other people in and engage them. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1195123/how_to_be_a_brilliant_conversationalist.html?cat=41
  • Ask questions from a position of curiosity. http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/transform/dialog.htm
  • Pay the person who's speaking back with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm shown by the expression on your face, in your posture, in your questions. http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/02/how-to-listen.html
  • Aggressive communication Giving answers. Effective Passive communication communication Asking clarifying, open, and Not saying anything. specific questions help people to, for example:  feel good.  think.
  • Types of questions http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/question-types
  • Tip # 7 Give feedback
  • Feedback tips http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/feedback-tips
  • Tip # 8 Repeat what you think was said
  • The listener does not have to agree with the speaker - he or she must simply repeat what he/she thinks the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener really understood. Sources http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/treatment/activel.htm http://sinekpartners.typepad.com/refocus/2010/06/there-is-a-difference-between-listening-and-waiting-for-your-turn-to---speak-just-because-someone-can-hear-doesnt-mean-t.html http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/07/practical_tips_for_overcoming_r.html
  • Adopting words, body postures, positions and movements that are similar to the speaker will allow the speaker to relax and open up more. Sources http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/ http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
  • Person A statement It’s impossible to work like this! Person B summary and question I hear that you find it difficult to work in these conditions. What things are getting in the way? What can I do to help you? Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 157-158.
  • Tip # 9 Put away preconceptions
  • People listen 3 – 5 times faster than they speak Most individuals speak at the rate of 175 to 200 words per minute. People can listen and process words at the rate of 600 to 1,000 words per minute. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
  • Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4153/is_4_60/ai_106863366/
  • Judgmental thinking is entrenched thinking. Instead of judging them, judge yourself: An idea might not strike you immediately, but if you give it time, and a little thought, it could surprise you. https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20131217202348-46951391-the-art-of-listening
  • http://hbr.org/web/slideshows/difficult-conversations-nine-common-mistakes/1-slide
  • Tip # 10 Reduce your need to be right or better
  • Ability to pay attention Kofman, Fred: Conscious Business, p. 156. Need to be right
  • When you’ve had a long day and your partner is talking through his or her stresses, it’s tempting to let your partner know just how much bigger and more important your own issues are. But that only creates tension. Learn to simply listen and offer help to your partner. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/
  • Tip # 11 Show humility
  • There has to be a certain humility to listen well. Kevin Sharer https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Governance/Leadership/Why_Im_a_listener_Amgen_CEO_Kevin_Sharer_2956
  • Further sources of inspiration http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2011/10/how-to-really-listen.html http://www.slideshare.net/jahroy13/the-art-of-listening-2834432 http://www.ted.com/talks/julian_treasure_5_ways_to_listen_better.html http://youtu.be/cSohjlYQI2A http://youtu.be/NjUic9WqLrg
  • Thank you for your interest. For further inspiration, please feel welcome to visit http://www.frankcalberg.com Have a great day.