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The passion as_visioned_and_narrated_by_mary_ann_van_hoof_1950_1974_necedah_wisc_for_my_god_and_my_country_inc_1975


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The Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ, as Visioned and Narrated by Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof--1950-1974-- (full title)

The Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ, as Visioned and Narrated by Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof--1950-1974-- (full title)

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  • 3. Published for the Honor and Glory of God in obedience to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Compiled, edited and published by the "Queen of the Holy Rosary Mediatrix of Peace Shrine." FOR MY GOD AND MY COUNTRY, INC. Necedah, Wis. 54646 FIRST PRINTING Copyright © 1975. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any part without permission from the publisher. 11
  • 4. GOOD FRIDAY CRUCIFIX On Good Friday, April 7, 1950 at about 11:00 P.M. Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoofnoticed that the crucifix on the wall had a strange glow to it and that the cor­ pus WiiS twice its regular size. At the appearance to Mary Ann on June 16, 1950, the Blessed Mother spoke to her saying, "My dear child take the Good Friday Crucifix (meaning the crucifix which was aglow on Good Friday), and bless them with it while saying the prayers of the sign of the cross." She also said "To build a shrine of prayer at the spot of the apparition and erect a large crucifix on the vil­ lage bluff, so that the people may be reminded daily of the Way of the Cross, and that this example may be followed by other communities." On August 15, 1950, Our Holy Mother said to Mary Ann: "Bless the people with the Good Friday Crucifix. This blessing is from Me." This book is hereby dedicated to Mrs. Van Hoof for offering herself as a Vi£!Lm Soul and to fulfill the mission Our Blessed Mother hasrequested of her. Also to Fred her husband and their children for their being willing to accept the persecu­ tion over these past twenty-five years. III
  • 10. INTRODUCTION During the October 7, 1950 Apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof, Our Lady spoke to her about a final penance. She said, "My child, (here She smiled so beautiful, or I believe after what followed I would have been scared), after November 12th, your Penance~yFriday ~il Ch~as~againin ~~J1t. This suffering will be great and at times will last over Sunday." She also told me to hold up the Good Friday Crucifix and also my Rosary, which She touched with the Crucifix of Her Rosary. On Novem ber 12, 1950, the Blessed Mother said to Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof, (see Vol. I of4 Vols. "My Work With Nece­ dah" by H. Swan, page 59.) "Your Penance for yo~r community starts Friday for five Fridays Saturdays and un days. There wlffbe suffering of the Wounds of My Son, Thy Lord. There will be bodily harm done to you, you must be careful. Satan is very angry, angrier than ever before, as you have bent many knees in prayer." It was not clear to Mary Ann at the time that this meant she would suffer the Passion of Our Lord through the many years ahead on each of the Fridays of Advent and Lent. To those privilegedtobe present it wi~never-to-be-for­ gotten spiritual experience, a life-time inspiration. Also a fuller un­ derstanding and deeper appreciation of the great and tremendous sacrifice that Our Lord and God made so mankind could once again have the opportunity to enjoy the eternal happiness of Heav­ en. At various times before and after her suffering of the Passion, important messages were given ;oncer~ingth~ork~ the needfor unity, prayer and sacrifice iYWe were to save our Country, Church, Youth, etc., stress being placed always on the necessity of the Rosa­ ry and the Constant Vigil of Prayer. The basic purpose here and all other places where She has ap­ peared is the need to save souls. For the people present, some for the first time, most felt they had a better understanding of the meaning and purpose of Our Lord's suffering. Also the great love that Christ had for us, and His com­ plete obedience to God the Father, as He willingly accepted all the lX
  • 11. pain and suffering that went with the Scourging, Crowning, Carry­ ing of the Cross, and His Death on Calvary. . As we know the Sacred Sacrifice of the Mass is a continuation of Our Lord's Sacrifice and Death and when instituting It, Christ meant to give all the opportunity to share in the great Graces He won for us along with the privilege of sharing His Divinity as He shared our humanity. This to be each time we receive Him into our heart and soul in Holy Communion. A plan, so unique and merito­ rious could only have been devised in Heaven by God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. A greater recognition and apprecia­ tion by everyone is only proper when one considers that it was Our Lord Who took it upon Himself to make atonement for our sins. Likewise that He deserves and expects our cooperation if we hope to share in the "Glory of Glories." As He expressed it, "Unless you likewise do penance you shall all perish," "Pick up your cross and follow Me," "The servant is no better than the Master," etc. Human nature no doubt will always be perverse and the tempta­ tions of Satan cause man to fall from his dignity of "A Being," created just a little less than the angels. Also that ~ attractipn of material things will continue to divert man's attention from the higher and'nobler purpose of life. So, God in His Wisdom and Mercy has seen fit to choose certain sRecial friends who would also suffer Our Lord's Passion in reparation for some of the many of­ fenses against Him. To help you and other sincere, good people properly identify and respect these chosen Victim Souls, or Stigmatics.some or all of His Wounds,1iaVe-been given to them. Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof is one of those referred to above. She has suffered th ssion of Our Lord as the Blessed Mother saTd sheWould on the Fridays of Advent and Lent since 19~. The usual time, twelve noon until tnree P.M., with the excep­ tion Holy Thursday and Good Friday of 1960,1961,1962 and 1963. Then the suffering started on Holy Thursday night at 9:00 P.M. and continued until 12:00 midnight, when Our Lord was in the dun­ geon. It started again on Good Friday morning at 9:00 A.M. when Christ left the dungeon, finishing when Our Lord expired on the Cross at 3:00 P.M. x
  • 12. The Stigmata of the Thorn Wounds of Our Lord were present during Lent in the years of 1951 and 1952. Regarding the reference to Calvary and the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as being one and the same, see the October 7, 1950 Message, quote, "To all Priests: Don't be in a hurry to say your Mass: take your time. Remember the Lord hung on the Cross three hours in agony. Live the Way of the Cross. My Son was crucified here (at this point, Mrs. Van Hoof held up the Good Friday Crucifix) for your sins, but you forget it. My Son was scourged at the pillar-the blood coming down. His precious blood was all over, but you forget it. The Amighty Dollar is your God. Forget the Almighty Dollar. and remember this Cross with the Crucifixion of Your Lord upon it. He died for you, now remember Him." The question in the minds of some people and Mary Ann's was, ( ~Y' the Blessed Mother chosen her? The answer was made ' clear to all by the Blessed Virgin Mary on May 30, 1950 when She I said, "From childhood on, until today, the Stations of the Cross J have made your heart heavy, and you shed tears because my Son's sufferings grieve you. This is why I chose you, my Child." WJ!!:ut family to care for an<!-illimes in oor heal!lt Mrs. Van Hoof real- I ized that tn~uld be a most difficult mission, yet she said when II one looks into the eyes of Our Blessed Lady you cannot refuse Her anything. From various messages given for over twenty years it is clear that sin is the main cause of war and that it can only be stopped through prayer, penance and reparation. True, some have heeded the re- quests of Our Holy Mother and have made a most sincere effort to carry them out. However, the sins today are so malicious and wide- spread that it would take an all out united effort of all religions and "' ~s ecially the Christia~to hold back, shorten th~ dura!i.Qn and I lessen the~ty of the Divine Chastisement. This is already in ef- fect and evident in thestOims, floods, earthquakes, famines, torna- does, etc., that have struck parts of our and other countries. Consid- ( er for a moment just the one crime of more than two million abor- )J!~S that cry to Heaven for vengeance. Also the immorality, porno- ) graphy, drugs and dope that add to them that could only bring the ( wrath of God down on our nation. Yes, the sufferin and hardship XI
  • 13. ( w~be as never before in the hi~t~ry of our country. The warnings , are clear and a review of the public messages to our nation given in 1950 leave no excuse for anyone that we were not told, or that we did not have time to prevent this horrible suffering and devastation of our beautiful America. Our first concern then must be unity between Home, School and Church, with the Rosary and the Constant Vigil of Prayer a must for all if we wish to save Ourselves and Our Country. The Jen Q?_~ment~ust_again the rule of life and the many Satan- be ic ways of living and dress be stopped at once. Hope, yes there is always hope, when people turn their minds and hearts back to God. For evidence in our times we have the story of Austria, later Brazil in 1964 and Chile in 1973. For a complete account of Mary Ann's personal story of the Suf- fering of the Passion of Our Lord and other sufferings endured through the years, see Vo!. I of the 4 Vols., "My Work with Necedah", by H. Swan. ------ The following excerpts are from the accounts of good priests and reliable doctors who were at the bedside of Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof when she suffered Our Lord's Passion. 0:Y R~y:-Leo~. Scheetz, Earl Park, Indiana, states, (see Vo!. 2, page 167 of the 4 volumes, "My Work With Necedah, by Henry Swan) February 16, 1951, "The above statements are merely a brief ac- count of what actually took place as I took notes at the time things were happening. There has been no attempt to establish nor to dramatize what I saw, nor to read anything into the actions and ago- nies as they transpired. If one were to witness wh~t I saw_Mary ~n Y.. an Ho<?~go throughJrom tweh'e to t~ree at someone's death b~d ) it would frighten them sick, but knowing that this was but the sev- '(I enth reoccurrance of the similar thing, one could rest secure that she was not about to die; otherwise, it would have been too much to take. There remains for her to state what she saw and went through visually or mentally during that time in order to give meaning to so much apparent agony, pain, and what not." o 1 ~ r. J. K. Spurlock, March 16, 1951: "The sight that we saw was too magnetic to look away, it seemed to draw everyone of our senses and strain every nerve and muscle. After standing for half an hour XII
  • 14. my knees were breaking. At the first sight of her sufferings my breath was taken away, and a dull pressure seemed to grip my heart. The expression of her sorrow seemed to tear one's chest apart, and the thought that came first to me was: Oh, how horrible was Our Lord's suffering. It hurt to watch it. I have read many times of the sufferings of privileged people, like Therese Neumann, etc., but never before did realize what it ac­ tually meant. I do not know if these others are like this or not, but this is certainly genuine and real. , Only the week before I had seen the slides and heard the lecture on the Holy Shroud of Turin. That was still fresh in my mind, so I ( noticed how closely her position represented that which the scien­ tists tell us is depicted by the Shroud. Her arms were outstretched at the same angle as we see in the Shroud reproduction of the Cross. , They are very rigid, her whole body is rigid and cannot be moved without moving it all at once. I thought again of the Shroud of Turin and the explanation of the scientists who tell us how Our Lord's chest was pushed down by His weight so that He literally died of a broken heart. She held this posi­ tion for three hours. Her throat was throbbing, at times gasping and speaking, at other times almost like a death rattle. Several times panting as if her breath would tear her apart, then again long la­ bored breathing like a person drawing their last breath. Sometimes she seemed exhausted and lay back in quiet suffering, and one could see and feel the pain growing and growing until it final1y would swell up into one sudden outburst of agony. Her head would roll or she would strain at the nails. The doctors said she did not speak as much this time but seemed to suffer more. The words were filled with sadness, like the repeti­ tion several times of the sounds: "Osee" or "Jose" said twice, and then followed by other words. Once it seemed to me she said, "Deos, Deos" or "Theos" but I am not sure. There did not seem to be any Latin. But they were real words with real inflections. In my opinion these three hours suffering of Mrs. Van Hoof can­ not be explained in any natural way. To me it was more convincing and impressive than even the moving of the sun. More convincing I think for the ordinary observer because it can be checked and re- XIII
  • 15. checked, and there is no chance of illusion. Or. De Werth said it was not hypnotism. That in my opinion would be impossible in this case. I am convinced of the supernatural cause. Until an official statement is made, however, we can only hold our own private opinions." ) Rev. F. B. I?ickman, Wedron, Illinois, May 1970: "Mary Ann has suffered the Passion of Our Lord on the Fridays of Advent and Lent since 1950. I have been present at several of these. She also suffered for several years during the night hours. In fact almost every day of her life since 1950 has been one of suffering. There I never has been a time in the Church when so many visions of the l Blessed Mother and Saints, and so many revelations have contin­ ) ued for so many years. I have never heard Mary Ann utter a word that in the slightest degree was contrary to any thing in our Faith. I Never have I heard her use any language that showed an unsound mental condition." ') - The following is an experience related by Mr. H. Swan after her family doctor, Or. Meyers, had given Mary Ann some special medi ­ cation. It is taken from Vol. 2 of the four Volumes by 1:1. Swan, pages 75-76. Mr. Swan was her protector and present during her suffering periods including the times she suffered the Passion. "The suffering was very, very severe on the 18th of ~ne, and shortly after it started we called out for prayers. Betty Wakershauser was out in a car praying, and was called to do the phoning. At a little after 10:00 P. M., Or. Meyers and Father Connolly were called and both ar­ rived shortly thereafter. Father Connolly prayed over Mary Ann and gave her his Blessing. The heart condition seemed to get better, and then physical suffering with its violent action started. Dr. Meyers wanted to know if he could give her a hypo and I gave my consent, although I had no faith in its effect. Doc gave her the shot and for all the relief of pain it gave her, it might as well have been water. It did however, after about 20 minutes or so make her violently ill, and caused her to gag and throw up. There was no nor­ mal reaction to the shot whatever. Father Connolly and Doc after staying until about 11 :30 P. M. left for home. I believe, however, that it was good for both of them to witness her suffering. Also Or. Meyers had given Mary Ann medicine to reduce the XIV
  • 16. swelling in her limbs but this also did not have the result that would normally be expected. He also tried shots but received the same re­ sults. , A Message that was given on June 21, 1955, stated: "Henry, many tests have been given and more will be given. That was a test that was permitted to be given the other night. It was given to con­ '~ vince the docto~nd y~t medication does iiO'iWorCThis type . of injection is very hard on the Victim and it will take three days for . her to recover from it." 'Other tests will be given. You must be pres­ ent when the tests are given and your permission will be necessary'. Mary Ann suffered much during these three days, there was much gagging and retching. At the end of the third day it was all over." CV - Dr. John De Werth, Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin, March 16, 1951 : Dr. De Werth gives a most complete and accurate description on the above date from a medical standpoint, almost minute by min ­ ute, of the suffering of Mary Ann from 12 noon to 3:00 P.M. For his full account see pages 272-279 Vo. 2 of 4 Vols., "My Work With Necedah," by H. Swan. It also includes the Revelations that were given from 2:43 to 2:53 P.M. Likewise he refers to real words with definite inflections similar to the reference in the report by Msgr. Spurlock. Some additional interesting facts re: certain happenings during the suffering of the Passion of Our Lord by Mrs. Van Hoof: I. She would go for the full period of Advent as well as the forty days of Lent without eating any solid foods, yet -on Christmas Day or Easter Sundayshe was able to eat a full meal without any ill effects. 2. Anna Katharina Emmerick, a mystic who lived from 1774 to 1824 is and has beenWith Mary Ann during the suffering of the Passion and has been especially helpful when Reve­ lations or Messages were given and were not fully under­ stood. In other words when Czar Alex spoke in German, she would give the correct interpretation in English. 3. On December 5, 1958, a request was made from the Celes­ xv
  • 17. tials in Heaven to_~btain a four foot white corpus of Our Lorq, and have it readyTor the December 12, 1958 suffer­ i~g. At this time instructions were given for Mary Ann to mark the Corpus with red and purple crayons as she viewed the Scourging of Our Lord. Mr. Swan held it and though it was very difficult, through the tears Mary Ann marked the bruises, lacerations and blood where they had appeared on Our Lord's Body. This was to serve as a model for the sculp­ 1 tors and the artists to follow when making the life-=-size Cor­ pus, which IDlL uested~s now on the grounds in the Cruci­ fixion Shrine. 4. A weight phenomenon was checked and verified several times in 1951 and 1952 during the three hour period as Mary Ann suffered the Passion of Our Lord. Doctors, der­ r gy, her husband and others tried to lift t!!.e foo.!Of1fie bed. NormaUy this would not be difficult. However, even with g!:~at effort it was practically impossible. Though-this Was I checked on various Fridays, the results were always the same. From St. John of the Cross and other outstanding autho­ rities in the field of Mystical Theology, the weight pheno­ menon alone would suffice to prove that her ecstacies are not natural. Es;tatic rig~Jty was another characteristic of Mary Ann's suffering of the Passion. When her arms went out in the form of a cross, before or while Our Lord was nailed to the Cross, her arms and fingers would be completely rigid. Doctors, clergy and others tried to bend her arms or straighten her fingers, neither being possible until Our Lord expired and her arms relaxed. The same was true as her left foot went over the right as Our Lord's feet were nailed to the Cross. Dr. Imbert Gourbeyre was a professor of m~cine for over twenty-five years and the author of research work on mystical phenomena in relation to medicine. He is one of the fe;-doctors~ho had the occasion to study both of these sciences and therefore can speak authoritatively on the xvi
  • 18. subject. In his opinion, there is no need of the phenomenon of weight to prove the genuiness of ecstacy, he holds that "ecstatic rigidity alone" is already sufficient proof. 5. On Friday, M~rch~967, a Frid~yof Le!1t, the Seven Sorrows of Our Sorrowful Mother of the Passion Prayer was given. It was suggested that it be used as a meditation for the Seven Sorrows Rosary. SORROWFUL MOTHER PRAYER Oh Sorrowful, Oh Holy Mother, Thy Heart was pierced through when You stood beneath the Cross of Thy Divine Son, Who died to redeem man. The anguish, the pain and sorrow You suffered for man. Oh Sorrowful, Oh Heavenly Mother, again Thy Heart is pierced with anguish and sorrow, for' man has forgotten the Crucifixion, the Death of Their Lord, and what it stands for. They continue on their wayward ways while Thy Heart is pierced for love of them. Oh Sor­ rowful, Oh Heavenly Mother, pierce my heart of stone and fill its veins with pure blood of love for My Lord and My God, whom I have neglected, whose Wounds I have renewed. Take me beneath Thy Mantle, Oh Heavenly Mother, protect me, guide me so I can­ not go astray and hurt Thy Divine Son and pierce Thy Heart with sorrow, Oh Heavenly Mother, Amen. Oh Holy Mother, make us worthy of Thy anguish. Show us the way, the way to love Thy Son as Thou lovest Him. Open our hearts asYour Heart has been opened with pain and sorrow. Open ours with love for Thy Son, Our Lord, Our God, who is hanging there nailed to a Cross, every bit of blood gushing forth from His Body, an for us, so unworthy, so faithless, so thoughtless, so heartless, the film of greed and sin and worldliness is in front of our eyes. Oh Blessed Mother, pierce that film, tear it away so that we too, can see Thy Son the way Thou hast seen Him. Open Thy arms and take us to Thy bosom, show us the way, the lig!!t. Oh God, have mercy on us. Oh Sorrowful and Holy Mother, pray for us, guide us, protect us xv 11
  • 19. with Thy Blue Mantle. Lead us on the road to Thy Divine Son, make us worthy of Him. Amen. 6. During the suffering of the Passion of Our Lord, Heaven has shown in vision to Mary Ann what They wanted each of the Fourteen Stations to represent. Also some of the various other scenes shown to Mary Ann by Heaven are portrayed here as accurately as possible in the pictures of paintings made of them. 7. November 12, 1974, was the twenty-fifth Anniversary of the Blessed Virgin Mary's first appearance at th~Qu~en of the Holy Ros'!!"y Mediatrix of Peace ~hrine, Necedah, Wis­ consin. Therefore, the Blessed Mother as Mediatrix be­ tween God and man has been speaking to us all these years trying to help us save Our Country, as well as North and South America. Her requests are clear as to what the Chris­ tian world must do to ~pare themselves the persecution, suf­ fering and destruction that various parts of the world have already experienced. On May 29, 1950, Our Blessed Mother said, "At Fatima it took nearly ~o years-:Itmust not take 30 years now-it would be too late." Surely with electronic communications as we h~e th~_m tod~y, the Christian people could be given the truth, unite in action, and spare our Country, our Church, and our Youth at least some of this most / severe suffering, destruction and sorrow. In speaking of this period ) that is just ahead, the question was asked_by theCelestials, "Do you not want to hold it back, lessen the severity of it, as well as shorten '1 the duration of the Divine Chastisement?" "Do you not want to ( prevent a nuclear war, with all its frightful consequences?" As to the attitude of the church with respect to victim souls espe ­ cially those suffering the stigmata, it can possibly be best under ­ stood as one reads the Collect of the Mass for the Feast Day in honor of the Stigmata of St. Fransis, September 17th: "Oh Lord Jesus Christ, Who-:-When the world was growing cold, in order to in­ flame our hearts with the fire of Thy love, didst renew the Sacred l Marks of Thy Passion on the body of Blessed Francis; mercifully xviii
  • 20. grant that, by his merils and prayers, we may always bear our cross, and bring forth fruits worthy of penance, who live and reign with God the Father, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, World without end. Amen." (1?-.:;­ As there is much talk, expense and effort expended today in the cause of PEACE, a quote from one of the Messages given on a Fri­ day of Advent deserves prayerful consideration by all and especial­ ly the leaders of our and all other countries, quote, "Mankind will not find Peace until it turns to the Prince of Peace. There cannot be Peace without Christ." *** OUR LORD AND HIS HOLY MOTHER SHARE THE SALVATION OF MANKIND When Our Holy Mother said these words to me in 1950, "MYChild, Thy Lord was born of flesh and blood as man on earth, yet He was Divine at the time of His birth. God the Father permitted this, to show man the Way, the Light and the Truth, so great was His love for man. Thy Lord grew up as any child of human nature on earth. Go"(fihe Father permitted Thy Lord to suffer as man, for as God, My Child, He could neither suffer pain or die. He had to be born as ( man conceived in the womb of a woman of human nature. God the 1 Father chose Me, My Child, to be that person. Thy Lord was con­ ceived within My wom.b through the Holy Ghost, yet My Son was ) God. While on earth He was like man. My Child, H~ is Tr!1.~."<;Jod apd True man. He is equal with God the Father and the Holy Ghost." This to me, was so beautiful as I never had this explained to me. lt gave me a greater understanding of Our Holy Mother's great love for Her Divine Son, for in reality one can never se arate Our Lord ( and God from His Holy Mother; for whe~Spirit of the Holy Ghost entered the womb of Our Holy Mother, which God the Fa ­ ther so willed, Our Lord's Life began as man of human nature by ) the blood of Our Holy Mother within the walls of Her womb, to a full term Infant of human nature; yet this Infant was God. God the XIX
  • 21. Father had chosen Mary, Our Holy Mother, to become the Mother of His Divine Son,chooSlngHerwomb to be the Tabernacle for the Son of God through Whose veins was flowing the blood of Our Holy Mother's (of human nature), with every beat of Her heart; so grew Her great love. God the Father had chosen MJlfY, the only Child of Anne and Joachim, to be the Mother of the Son of God. Just as their blood flowed through Mary's veins, so did the blood of M~ry, Our Holy Mother, flow through the veins of Her Divine Son. This is the rea­ son I cannot understand the attitude of so many of our Churchmen, who seem to want to cast Our Holy Mother aside, as if She was only the Woman that gave birth to Jesus Christ but that is where Her part ends. If that was true, then, why did God the Father assume Her into Heaven, body and soul? Because Her blood was the foun­ dation of Our Lord and God, Our Redeemer and Our Savior. Rath­ er God the Father chose Her as, "Queen of Heaven and Earth." If man would only realize the great love that God the Father had for His creation, man, whom He created in His liken~ image;yet, man does not recognize this great love that God the Father be­ s~~~p~m man. So great was His love that 'He sent the Soon of God down to earth to be born of a Woman, to walk the earth as Man, to suffer as a common Man and die a cruel death to redeem man, to give man eternal life. xx
  • 22. THE PASSION AND DEATH OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST As visioned, suffered and narrated by Mrs. Fred (Mary Ann) Van Hoof 1950 - 1974 1. OUR LORD INSTRUCTS HIS HOLY MOTHER AND BIDS HER FAREWELL Our Holy Mother and several women are in a smaH house. It looks like it is made of adobe. It has two rooms. Our Holy Mother seems to be expecting someone. While She is waiting, Our Holy Mother is speaking to the women very earnestly. It seems She is in­ structing them. Our Holy Mother looks so sad, oh Blessed Mother, Sorrowful Mother, how sad She looks. Someone is coming down the path. Our Holy Mother enters the other room, the holy women are praying as Our Holy Mother awaits the entrance of someone. It is Our Lord and God. He is entering the little house. He is walking up to His Holy Mother, They embrace. (Mary Ann draws a short sharp breath and says, "How beautiful, how beautiful.") He clasps Her to Him. They speak together very earnesHy. They are both so sad. Our Holy Mother's eyes are filled with tears as She smiles. Oh Blessed Moth ­ er! There is such tenderness in Their eyes as They look at each other, with such love and devotion. Oh such love, such compassion, They have such great love for each other; never have I seen such love in any eyes as This Mother has for Her Divine Son. Oh Holy Mother! He seems to be telling Her something very important. Our Holy Mother has dropped Herself on Her knees before Her Divine Son and She raised up Her arms like this to Him. (Mary Ann extends her arms upwards in front of her.) What They said 1do not know but He stoops down and picks Her up so tenderly. She is so small in His arms, He holds Her up off Her feet and now He sets Her down so tenderly. Her eyes are filled with tears, oh such great 21
  • 23. love. They are speaking, of what I do not understand. (Mary Ann prays aloud.) "Oh Holy Mother, Thou lovest Thy Son, with such true devotion, such love. Fill our hearts with such love and devo­ tion, fill our minds and thoughts with such purity as Thou bestowest upon Thy Son. Oh Holy Mother, give us the grace to accept such pure love; as Thine eyes look into Thy Divine Son's eyes, such pure l. and true love. Send that love down to us so we too can payrevei-­ e~ to ThY Divine Son andto-Yo-u, D--;ar Mother. Oh Dear Moth ­ er, oh Dear Mother, help us. We need Thee more and more each day. The darkness about us is engulfing us. Give us a ray of sun ­ ( shine and light. In Thine eyes and in Thy true love send it down to us, give us the strength, the courage to face the enemy of Thy Di­ vine Son with righteousness and true devotion. Oh Holy Mother, help us. I plead with you, help us, help us, Blessed Mother, Sorrow ­ ful Mother, pray for us." Our Lord and God said to His Holy Mother, "I must go and ful­ ( fill what God the Father has asked. The Eternal Father has called ) Me and what I told You before Mother, is now at hand. The time . has come for Me to fulfill what has been ordained for Me to fulfill. Mother I must be on My way. I must fulfill what God the Father has placed Me here on earth to do. This is the time, do not shed 1 tears, Mother. I am fulfilling the wish of My Father in Heaven. God the Father will let You see in vision what is happening. You need not distress Yourself but stay here in this humble abode." Holy Mother shakes Her head in the negative. He presses Her gently to His bosom and He then sets Her down. 6....mist engulfs Them. The mist has lifted, now They bid farewell. He abrupiTY leaves. 2. OUR LORD LEAVES TO FULFILL THE WILL OF HIS FATHER IN HEAVEN He walks down the main road, He has gone into the distance. Our Lord meets the Apostle. Our Holy Mother speaks to the women, with Her is the ~ with the beautiful golden hair. There are several others with Her, theyare now leaving by a back door. Our Lord and God has met a few men and others are walking 22
  • 24. toward them from sideroads. He speaks to them in a firm but kind way. They all disperse as He has instructed them to do something, which I do not understand, but they all seem to be hurrying in the same direction. Our Holy Mother and the women are not taking the same path that Her Divine Son took. They are going a different direction, in a round about way, but they too are heading in a similar direction. It seems Thy Lord and God is praying as He walks along. He too seems to be heading for the large building. Now I have come to a village, there's a large building here. Many people are entering this huge building. I see a strangely dressed man carrying a flat woven basket, filled with fruit, enter into this large building. Many people walking, carrying things, baskets, fruit, bread. They too enter this building, they seem to be in a hurry. The sky is dark and overcast. Some of these men walking, look like the Apostles. They are not carrying anything, they only hurry into this building. 3. OUR LORD UNDERSTANDS AND ACCEPTS OUR HOLY MOTHER'S WISHES Our Holy Mother is now coming to a side door, on a side street, where She meets Her Divine Son. He shakes His head at Her. Again He shakes His head in a negative action. He looks at Her with stern disapproval. He speaks firmly to Her, yet, with true love and kindness. He again reminds Her that He must be doing what ~ God the FathefiO'Heaven had asked Him to, that She was disobe­ dient to His demands; but He knew that Her love for Him was so ) great and Her longing to be near Him was overwhelming, so He un ­ I derstood that She truly is a Mother with a mother's heart, and that is why She had to be near by. They em brace, such love, such love. He ( picks Her up, He presses Her to His bosom with great love and devotion. Oh Holy Mother, Oh Sorrowful Mother, so sad, You look so sad. She bows Her head in sadness and drops Herself on Her ) knees with Her arms extended to Him; He again picks Her up gent ­ , Iy. She seems to wish, oh I might say, wishes to help Him, take part 23
  • 25. in what Their eyes tell Each Other. He puts both hands on Her shoulders and holds Her from Him as He gazes into Her beautiful ( blue eyes. They speak so softly and gently to each other. "Mother, My hour has come. Thy Father in Heaven has sent for Me." Our Holy Mother still seems to be alarmed. Tears are streaming from I Her eyes, Her beautiful eyes. Her heart is heavy, as She gazes into Her Son's eyes. Now a mist engulfs Them, for what is happening between Them is fOf Them alone. There are still other people carrying things into the large build ­ ing. They are also taking some lambs in a side door of this large building. Now the mist has lifted as Our Lord and His Holy Mother are still conversing with one another. He pats Her on the shoulder and seems to tell Her that He must be on His way; God the Father has called Him and He must go. She bows Her head in adoration for She knows that He must do as the Father in Heaven has asked Him. Our Lord turns and walks slowly alone into the huge building. His face is not of sadness, rather I would say of expectation, of joy. 4. THE UPPER ROOM Now Our Holy Mother is joined by tDeJ~~h the beauEful golden hair and the other holy women at this side door. They go to -- the upper room. (Now here I win have to explain.) The upper chamber is not an upstairs as we know it today, it is built on a rocky elevation which is higher than the lower; that's the reason it is called the upper room because it was higher. It is built on the ledge of rocks adjoining the lower portion and that is where Our Holy Mother has entered. They are separate from the main large room. There seems to be some confusion here. The women don't seem to understand why they are being called here. Blessed Mother, . Holy Mother, She is instructing them. Her heart is heavy. ~H~ly ~~and the wo~eE..-are now regea..!ing in prayer. It is the first Cenacle or Retreat of prayer as some of you call it. Our Holy Moth ­ er was the first to start the Cenacle of Prayer. 24
  • 26. 5. OUR LORD INSTRUCTS THE MEN I now view the interior of the lower floor of this large building. It is a large room, I cannot estimate the size. There are large pillars there, it is a huge room. There are tapestries or carpets, I wouldn't know, hung to cover the windows. Strange looking lights are burn­ ing. They don't look like a lamp or a candle, or could I call it a lan­ tern. It is burning from a wick, or something similar. There's fluid in the strange container. There are several men in this room, who seem to be preparing something. There is another group of men in one corner of the room. They are talking together, I cannot under­ stand them. Seem to be waiting for someone. They immediately upon His entering turn and walk toward Our Lord. They could be Our Lord's Apostles. There are twelve of them. Their language is strange. Our Lord walks to this group of men. He speaks to them. Our Lord speaks to them in kindness, but firmly. He overrules their objections; He is always so compassionate, so kind. There seems to be concern. Questions are being asked, there is even anxiety, espe ­ cially the youngest one. Our Lord calmly speaks to them and tries to keep them calm. The one with the brown beard is anxious about something. Our Lord calms him by raising His hand. They are greatly concerned, but He continues to speak to them of something of great importance. Many questions are asked. It seems one of the Apostles ~oes not like what Our Lord and God is saying to him, so he goes on his knees and begs Him in such a humble way. It is rather nice the way he does it, but Our Lord and God is firm and he gets back up on his feet. One is more shifty look­ ing, although he is very polite toward Thy Lord and God. They all seem to be obedient to Our Lord. In the opposite side of the room, there are many workers and they are cleaning and washing in preparation for something and they are very particular about it. Everything seems to look immacu­ late, so clean. They are scouring pots and earthenware, in prepara­ tion for something. The reason for their immaculate washing and cleansing of utensils and all usable ware, such as crockery, pots and pans; they are doing this because Our Lord and God demands it, it is their custom because of the Pascal Feast. And the new instruction 25
  • 27. that He is giving to the Twelve Apostles and the Disciples with them, to cleanse everything anew. The old must be washed away. The same cleansing or procedure is being done in the upper cham­ ber. I do not understand what they are actually doing now. They are very busy, while Our Lord is still in the corner speaking to the twelve men. He is speaking quite earnestly and occasionally holds up His hand as if to caution the over anxious. I cannot understand them, can only describe their motions. Now some of the workers coming away from the busy corner are preparing, looks like, yes it is, a large table. They are spreading lin­ ens over it, as if preparing for a feast, for a meal. 6. OUR HOLY MOTHER INSTRUCTS THE WOMEN While in the upper chamber, Our Holy Mother, the lady with the beautiful golden hair and the other women are active. They are re­ moving some tapestry to enlarge the quarters, they too are prepar­ ing a table. They have cleaned some utensils which in this case .seem mostly earthenware. Baskets of bread and fruit are standing at the side. The Beautiful Lady, Our Holy Mother is instructing them, yet it seems Our Holy Mother's heart is heavy. Oh, the one with the beau­ tiful golden hair, clasps her hands as ifin anxiety, while the Beauti­ ful Lady calms her. I don't know what She is telling them, but She holds Her hands in front of Her as if in a gesture of prayer. I cannot understand, but, that is what it looks like to me. Our Holy Mother and the lady with the beautiful golden hair prostrate themselves and so do three of the other women with them. The one with the beautiful golden hair and Our Holy Mother seem to know what is going on in the room below. 7. PREPARATION IN THE LOWER CHAMBER In the lower chamber Our Lord is still talking at the one side of the large room and on the other side a table has been prepared. In 26
  • 28. the other part, further away frum where the main work is being done, other preparations are being made. Some of the workers are shining and rubbing, it seems it is not with a cloth but some kind of a different mattrial. They are pulishing and rubbing sume gulJen utensils, they are pfeparing them for something and they art mak­ ing such great effort that everything is immaculate, so clean. Every­ where it is beautiful. These utensils seem to be of gold I believe, I am not sure, they have a golden look to them. There are several, but how many I cannot see. Our Lord has now come here and is looking down and watching them. He seems to be agreeable to what they are doing. Our Lord now walks toward a place near the end of this room. Here in a corner are fruit and bread and it looks like the servants are preparing some of the food that has been brought in. There are baskets of small loaves of bread and fruit of every kind. Everyone in this corner seems very active. Our Lord goes back to the twelve Apostles on the opposite side of the room, and again is speaking to them. The men who are prepar­ ing the huge table do not seem to belong with the twelve that are with Our Lord. At this end of the room it seems they are getting ready to do something, preparations are being made, for what I cannot tell, I cannot see. Now, oh yes, some of the men, that seem to be workers or helpers, are bringing in lambs; four of them. They are bringing these lambs to Our Lord. There are no women on this floor here, all men. The women are in the upper chamber. 8. OUR LORD SLAUGHTERS THE LAMBS Strange there is no struggle within these animals. The twelve Apostles are standing in a semi-circle watching Our Lord as He takes the life of the first lamb. One of the men, after Our Lord has taken the life of the lamb, takes the lamb so gently in his arms and ieaves, goes into a side room. They are removing the skin and en­ trails. Now they follow the same procedure with the second, and now another man takes the second lamb into his arms,So gently, 27
  • 29. and walks where this first one disappeared. The twelve Apostles just stand and watch. It is some of the servants that are assisting with this task. Our Lord slaughters the third lamb and it is taken from the room. In most animals when their life is taken, there is a reaction of body muscles. This is lacking here. The fourth lamb seems to be so different, it is not sad, but in its eyes is love so differ­ ent from the others. There are rays extending from this lamb. (Mary Ann looks astonished.) But He, too, slaughters this one, but there seems to be no pain, no suffering, just love in its eyes. Oh, the fourth lamb looks up at Our Lord with an intelligent look in it's eyes and licks His hands; not like a dumb animal, not at all. The youngest Apostle assisted by an attendant, has been catching the blood of the lambs. The blood is caught in a vessel as the lambs are being slaughtered. I cannot explain, I do not understand. This is so strange, no muscle reaction, just peaceful and quiet as if it were a pleasure, as asleep; as ifit did not give up its life, or as ifit were only sleeping. Such a feeling of great love as Our Lord takes the life of the fourth lamb. (Mary Ann's expression is one of profound love and wonderment.) Its eyes stay open with a tenderness and understanding. I cann'ot explain or put into words what is transpiring here. It gives one a feeling of love. This lamb follows the rest, but the eyes never close. There seems to be a strange radiance between this lamb and Our Lord, beautiful, so beautiful. My Lord and My God, how beautiful. Oh yes, I see now this fourth lamb symbolizes and represents Thy Lord and God, that is the reason for the behavior of this lamb. There is no reaction from it, as there is no reaction from the Lamb of God. He will do as His Father instructed Him, so there is no reaction in the lamb representing Him. This fourth lamb sheds its blood. Thy Lord and God, too, will shed His blood. That is the reason a lamb has been used to repre­ sent Thy Lord and God, for here it is already being used as a sym­ bol of Thy Lord and God. The blood of the fourth lamb was caught in a very strange looking vessel by the apostle and one of the men. 28
  • 30. a: o o o w ::c t- z o o o o .....J co Z en .....J o co ~ >­ en en ~ a: « ~ o a: o .....J a: => o
  • 31. 9. OUR LORD MARKS SYMBOLS IN BLOOD OVER DOORS, WINDOWS, ETe. r' 14-'{ Our Lord now takes this vessel of blood and is walking to the door and windows. He dips His fingers into the bowl, into the blood and makes a strange mark, a very strange sign. (Mary Ann uses her right index finger and draws figures or symbols in the air.) Yes, He also makes the Sign of the Cross above each doorpost and each latch. The blood just disappears from His fingers, He need not wipe them, there is none there. It is the washing away of the heathen blood and devotion used here, to the new and beginning of Thy Lord and God's Church. It must be purified and that is what this blood is used for. These marks symbolize the walk and proceedings of Thy Lord and God, after fulfilling the promise to His God in Heaven. While Our Lord is doing this, others are busy working. Each one seems to know just what to do, closing all the openings and the ser­ vants are lighting strange looking lamps in another part of this large room. Our Holy Mother watched Her Divine Son making the sym bols on all door posts and latches through a vision, that God the Father permitted Her to have. -- .~: for a complete explanation of the above symbols; seel page 149 j 30
  • 32. 10 THE GREAT MYSTERY AND PERPETUATION OF THE REDEMPTION OF MAN. Our Lord has now completed His mission and comes back to the corner where the twelve Apostles are waiting for Him. He speaks to them, He instructs them. Our Lord seems to instruct them as to how to pray. Their way of prayer, their behavior as Our Lord guides them, is so devotional so different, so different from what I am ac­ customed to. As I view them praying, these are just common work­ men that Our Lord and God has chosen, the twelve Apostles with calloused workmens' hands, workmens' muscles, they are sinewy men. You can see that they have gone through life working hard and here Thy Lord and God teaches them how to pray. It's beauti­ ful to watch these men being so obedient to Their Lord and God. It seems they all have a mission to fulfill, for this seems to be such a sincere devotion of love. The behavior of all here, be they the women in the upper chamber or the Apostles with Our Lord, shows great love for Thy Lord and God. Even those that are doing the work are in that same frame of mind of devotional behavior, some­ thing serious, some expectation seems to be the whole atmosphere here. He seems to continue talking to or instructing them, while in the opposite corner they are busily preparing the lambs for cooking or roasting, whatever it may be, everyone is very busy, H. OUR LORD GIVES INDIVIDUAL INSTRUCTIONS TO THE APOSTLES. Our Lord seems to be instructing each man separately, seems to tell each one, that is what it seems to me, because His eyes meet each one individually now as He seems to instruct them. What He is saying I do not know. It is all willingly and anxiously accepted by all, except one. There is one amongst them who cannot look in Our Lord's eyes. His eyes shift around as if Our Lord's eyes are some­ thing he cannot look into. He looks above him,just below, and from one side to another. He cannot look into Our Lord's eyes with the same love and devotion that the other eleven have. Our Lord seems 31
  • 33. to ignore this, He keeps on speaking as He has to all the rest. While in the upper chamber everything is ready, the table has been prepared. They too are active, but mostly now the holy women are praying. The Beautiful Lady instructs them, speaks to them, and asks them to continue to pray for they have completed preparation of the room, the table for the women. (Mary Ann smiles and says, "Oh Beautiful Lady, Beautiful Lady.") The one with such beautiful hair seems very concerned and anx­ ious about something the Beautiful Lady tells her. She bows her head in such humility, as she follows Our Blessed Mother, who is now asking them all, yes they are all going down upon their knees to pray. They are praying, such devotion, oh such devotion, the Cena­ de of Prayer, the sincerity. 12. A SPECIAL TABLE IS BEING PREPARED THE LAST SUPPER In the lower cham ber there is another table being prepared in the far corner, it is a smaller table. There is not the same effort made or should I say, they are not so particular here as they were at the larg­ er table. Here too, they are bringing fruits and bread, but the bread and fruit is not as choice as at the larger table. It seems the choicest fruit and bread has been placed at the larger table. There seems to be one man who, I do not know, that seems to over-see all of this and he is giving instructions here. We are back again with Our Lord and the Apostles, twelve of them, that have something of importance to discuss. Our Lord is now again leaving the twelve and crosses over the large room to the large table. There are many others here. They seem to be servants preparing food and placing it on the table, which is not as high as our tables, but lower. It is laden with strange dishes, earthen dishes, bowls or little baskets like of fruit, grapes, all kinds of fruit. There are small loaves of bread, little earthen lookingjars, what is in them I do not know. The twelve Apostles seem to be gathered in one cor­ ner murmuring, either in meditation or prayer. Our Lord now after instructing the servants turns back to the Apostles and joins them. 32
  • 34. The youngest one, the youngest looking one, he has no beard, grabs His arm and seems to anxiously question Him. I do not understand for the language is strange to me. There is another Apostle, too, that questions Our Lord. He has a brown beard, rather middle aged, I would say. He seems deeply concerned, but Our Lord seems just to wave him aside as He seems to be instructing them all. In this other room or corner of it there is a continuous preparation of food. A large tray is now brought in, laden heavily with food, fruit and other things exactly what I cannot see. Tables are being laden with food. Oh yes, there is a big tray coming with the first lamb that has been prepared. Our Lord, yes, He is going toward it. He is blessing it. (At this time Mary Ann makes the Sign of the Cross with the first two fingers extended up­ ward and the third and the fourth finger in the palm of her hand. This is to show Our Lord blessing the first lamb. This again is re­ peated for the second and third lamb.) 13. PREPARED LAMBS TO VARIOUS TABLES. They are leaving through a side door with the tray. The first tray goes to the upper chamber. A second tray is brought in with another lamb on it. The tray is covered over. Our Lord lifts the lid. It seems to have, it could be, an apple in its mouth. Our Lord blesses this lamb and again this tray leaves the room and is taken to the large table. Behind Him is a third tray with a lamb upon it. This tray, the third tray, after Our Lord blesses it, is taken to a side room in a far corner, where a table is prepared, I believe for the servants. Yes, it is for the servants. The fourth lamb, I do not know to whom or where this one is going. There seems to be a special glow coming from it. There is something special about this lamb, what, I do not under­ stand. Our Lord blesses it, there seems to be a strange look in it's eyes, a tenderness which is hard to explain. Our Lord leaves this lamb and walks to the table, calls them forward where the Apostles take their places around it. The cleaning of vessels and the preparation of food took a little over an hour. (Mary Ann makes the Sign of The Cross). Our Lord 33
  • 35. speaks to them. The first lamb has gone to the upper chamber, there too, a table has been prepared. The Beautiful Lady and the holy women are going about the table as if preparing to partake of the food. Oh Beautiful Lady, She seems deeply concerned. The Beautiful Lady does not partake of the food. Her lips seem to be moving in prayer while She urges the others to partake. The one with the golden hair, she too declines to accept the food, the rest are eating. 14. OUR LORD AND THE APOSTLES TAKE THEIR PLACES AT THE TABLE This, the main table, is a long oblong table. Our Lord sits at the center not at the head, which seems rather strange, for He is the Head. He should be at the head, but He is at the center of the table. The youngest one is at the right side of Him. He places his head on Our Lord's shoulder. (Mary Ann said, I will explain this action. When the youngest one places his head on the shoulder of his Lord and God, he is given a special insight as to what is before them. He can see the needs, he has an inner vision. Our Lord and God has chosen him to stand by His Mother. The brother of this youngest one also gets an inner vision of what is to happen. He is one of them that later falls asleep). The one with the brown beard or middle aged, who I seem to be attracted to, is at the left side of Our Lord. Next to him is the young one who has a very small, oh just the be­ ginning of a beard. I think he would be about twenty years of age, as the youth is still there. The rest of them, there are four of them, they have long gray beards and their hair is also gray. They seem to be from a poor class of people, not of wealth, just humble and hard working men, for their hands look like working mens' hands, cal­ loused and gnarled with labor. There is one among them, he too, draws my attention, I don't know what there is about him, his beard is dark, his hair is dark. His eyes are not as kind and as humble as the rest of them. There seems to be a sort of shiftiness in his glance. At one moment he looks at Our Lord and his eyes soften, a kind­ ness, a love comes into them, then a flicker and it is gone. Such 34
  • 36. Cl: L.U a.. a.. ::J en I­ en :3 L.U I I­
  • 37. strangeness, it gives one a strange feeling, as though something is wrong, but what I do not know. While I was giving you a descrip­ tion of the darker one, Our Lord was blessing the food before them; that is, it looked like He did. I cannot say for sure as I do not under­ stand Him. I can hear the voices but cannot understand the words. They are now beginning to eat, but Our Lord does not partake of the food. They tear off morsels of lamb, morsels of bread with their hands and are eating it. The Apostle on the left seems concerned . that Our Lord is not eating. He smiles at him kindly and seems to assure him of something, which I do not understand. The youngest Apostle lays his head upon Our Lord's shoulder. The love that is in his eyes, the love that exchanges between them, is so beautiful, so beautiful. Oh what a beautiful world we would be living in today if there was such love between man and Our Lord. Our Lord is speaking to them all. What He said, I must again re­ peat, I do not understand, but those about Him seem concerned. He looks straight into their eyes as He gives each one instructions. They seem to be questioning Him, and the one with the brown beard and hair seems to put out his hand before him and pkadingly looks into Our Lord's eyes as if to say, is he guilty of something? I do not know if this is correct but that is the way he acts, and the one on the right reaches toward Our Lord and seems to be very anxious. Others reach toward Him from around the table, all except the one with the dark beard, whose eyes do not reflect sincerity and love. Yes, they flicker and then dim. He cannot look into the eyes of Our Lord and God. It seems Our Lord and God makes no notice of the behavior of this one. He speaks as if they are all the same, but the shifty look in the eyes of the one is very evident. He looks at the floor, or any object, but not into the eyes of His Lord and God. 15. OUR LORD AND THE APOSTLE DIP THEIR FINGERS IN A DISH While Our Lord looks at him, this one with dark hair and eyes of not true love, he places his fingers in a dish or what looks like a salad bowl. (Mary Ann makes a motion as of dipping her fingers 36
  • 38. into a dish.) He partakes of it and Our Lord takes a little crust of bread in His hand and dips it into the dish and places it in front of the youngest one. What He is saying I do not know. He seems con­ cerned when He makes this remark. If I could only understand it. Our Lord says it with compassion, with compassion and love in His eyes. Why the strange feeling about this one? (Mary Ann looks dis­ gusted and says, "Shifty eyes, it is so strange.") (Mary Ann makes the Sign of the Cross.) They again seem to be meditating. Now they are dispersing. The servants are rapidly re­ moving the food and the left-overs from the table. Others are draw­ ing tapestries or huge rugs, I cannot tell what they are, along the pil­ lars, making one room smaller than the rest. Our Lord and the Apo­ stles again recline in the same places where they were first. Above the door near them, is a Cross and the strange mark from the blood of the lamb. 16. OUR LORD WASHES THE FEET OF THE APOSTLES Servants are bringing in a huge bowl and a large pitcher of water. They are leaving for the opposite side of the room. Our Lord and God has summoned them to come to Him. (Mary Ann motions with right hand that they form into a semicircle.) Our Lord is asking them to be obedient, for they now recline. Again Our Lord and God speaks to the Apostles and now He prostrates Himself before them. There is much objection coming from the one with the brown beard. He is near tears for he doesn't want to have the Lord wash his feet, but Our Lord and God with firm but kind words tells him to be seated. They seem to accept as He again asks them all to be obedient. The one who objected so strenuously now sits down in obedience. It seems Our Lord is preparing to wash their feet. He re­ moves His robe. Our Lord pulls a cord or sash tightly about Him, and turns up the sleeves of His garment, while there seems to be objection from some of the others, and again from the one with the brown beard. Such kindness and compassion in Our Lord's eyes as He lifts His hand and they become silent. He speaks firmly. I do not understand what they are saying but it seems whatever He said, 37
  • 39. they have accepted it and are now reclining as Our Lord prepares to wash the feet of the one that objected so strenuously, the one with the brown beard and hair. Our Lord kneels down on His left knee, places the right foot of the Apostle into the bowl and washes his feet, while the one with the brown beard bows his head in humility and humbleness. This act seems to imply something. I do not know what, as He is speaking and instructing each as He washes their feet, even the one with the brown beard points to his head and hands. I don't know what He is implying or saying. I do not under­ stand Him, but Thy Lord and God, with such a compassionate look, such loving and gentle ways, speaks to them. Not in harsh words but soft spoken, kind words and they are obedient to Him. It is beautiful, the humility and humbleness that is portrayed here by all, excepting one of them, the dark one. (Mary Ann again looks very disgusted.) Our Lord and God kneels on one knee in front of the one with the dark hair, but he does not look at Him. He has such shifty eyes, avoids glancing into Our Lord's face, he looks down or to the side. There is something strange about him, very strange. He does not act like the others who are humble, and kind; he seems more arrogant, deception seems to show on his face. He has the strangest look, but Our Lord and God treats him just the same as the others. It makes no difference it seems, He talks to him, He washes his feet, kneeling before him just as all the rest. 17. THE BLESSED MOTHER AND THE HOLY WOMEN IN THE CENACLE In the Cenac1e of the holy women, there too, their meal is fin­ ished. The Beautiful Lady leaves and the women clear off the table. Our Holy Mother, and the lady with the beautiful golden hair seems to know just what is going on below, in the other chamber, for as they prepare, as they leave the table, she too is watching as Our Lord is washing the feet of the Apostles, and She is urging the women to pray. The one with the golden pair sheds many tears for she seems to 38
  • 40. sense that something is about to happen and she wants to help. She follows Our Holy Mother at every turn and helps Her with many tasks. There is such love and devotion here. Several of the other women are also kind and helpful. Two of the women that are with the Mother of Our Lord, seem to be at Her side continuously. The one with the long, thick, golden hair, pleads with Our Holy Mother, as if to ask Her what they can do. I do not know if that is what she is saying, but the plea, her hand extended to Our Holy Mother, seems to indicate she is pleading to help, and the eyes of Our Holy Mother are sad. Her eyes are filled with tears constantly, and as She speaks to the holy women it seems that they are bewildered. They don't seem to understand what She is saying. There is such a deep sadness about Her, such a hush and silence in this room. They are all on their knees in prayer. The servants, too, are praying in another room on the other side of the house. While my eyes were observing the holy women in the room, the scene here has changed. Our Lord has just finished wash­ ing the feet of the Apostles and some of them that wore sandals are replacing them. Some are barefoot. The voice of a saint at this time said, "The washing of the feet is to symbolize the cleansing of oneself before the Consecration which is to follow. To cleanse themselves and while Thy Lord and God was washing their feet, in all humbleness, the Apostles used this moment to confess, to offer; many promises were made. For they objected to Our Lord washing their feet, but this is to symbol­ ize the cleansing of oneself, before the great moment tha·t is to fol­ low." (This period took one hour between the Last Supper and their entering into the tapestry divided room). 18. PREPARATION FOR THE FIRST MASS Now down in the first chamber, a tapestry has been drawn. It seems to be for seclusion, to keep away from all the others for this is a large open room. They use tapestry to divide any portion into smaller rooms if they so choose, which they seem to now have done in this corner of the room. This room here is different. In this small 39
  • 41. enclosure they are preparing another table. (Mary Ann smiles then draws a V shape with her hands.) The linens being used on this table which is V shape, not square or oblong, are of a finer material than the ones used at the other table. The linens are so beautiful, so white. This table is higher. They are bringing twelve small vessels that are of a fine quality. They are placing them at the longest parts of this strange table. They are also placing a small container, what it is used for I do not know. There is a small flat, more like a tray being placed at the end of the narrowest part of the table. Our Lord and the twelve Apostles are entering this room. They go in as in a procession. Our Lord leads the way and they follow two by two behind Him. They walk in a very humble way. (Mary Ann's expression is so peaceful.) Oh! "It is like a sanctuary." A strange feeling comes to one's heart. Before walking to what seems to be the head, Our Lord again speaks to them and instructs them as He points, and gestures with His arm. Yes, one of the Apostles has gone to the window and is pulling the tapestry shut. Our Lord stands at the head of this V shaped table. The window with the tapestry drawn over it is right behind Him. Also behind Our Lord I can see a canopy, it looks so special and above it is one of the marks Our Lord made with the blood of the lamb. There seems to be just enough room, oh, you might say it is about four feet. I could be wrong, and then it spreads away from Him like this. (Mary Ann traces in the air the shape of a large V with her finger.) It forms a V. The Apostles are at the sides of this, reclining upon their left knee. There are no stools or huge pillows as in the other place. There are six on each side, while Our Lord is at the end of the V which makes Him the Head of them all. The one with the brown beard, the one that seems to play an important part here, is again at the left side of Our Lord. The youngest one with no beard or mustache, but has lovely light brown hair, similar to Our Lord, (a little lighter than Our Lord,) is again at the right side but on the oblong, the part extending away from Our Lord. Next to him is an older one, next to him is the dark haired one, next to him the other three, some are younger than oth­ ers. On the left side of Our Lord is the brown haired one, second-is the one that has just the start of a beard, you might say. He, too, looks very young, and then there is another dark brown haired one 40
  • 42. and older ones, two of them with gray beards. They have hardwork­ ing hands. They are reclining, bowing their heads. They are prepar­ ing for something, for what I do not know. Except the one, he is un­ attentive. He looks about while the others are lost within them­ selves, in meditation. 19. OUR HOLY MOTHER VISIONS THE ROOM BELOW In the upper room it seems Our Holy Mother is being given the vision of the room below where Her Divine Son is preparing for a solemn, it seems so solemn, some great devotion. They are all on their knees and Our Holy Mother has Her arms crossed, (Mary Ann crosses her arms over her chest) while the holy women hold their hands like this. (Mary Ann holds her hands in an attitude of prayer.) Our Lord is instructing the Apostles. Within this room are two other strange men who have just appeared. Who they are I do not know. Our Lord still instructs the Apostles very humbly and de­ voutly. The Apostles recline, but Our Lord still stands. He now re­ clines as He continues to instruct them, then He stands again. (Mary Ann makes the Sign of the Cross twice.) In the upper room, Our Holy Mother and the women are bless­ ing themselves. It seems She saw the blessing of the Apostles. Our Lord and God is still instructing them. The two strangers in the room with gray hair and gray beards, do not belong to the former ones, they seem to be to the side of the room. To the left of Our Lord at the side of the room there is a small table. It does not exactly look like a table but one could call it that. On this table is a container covered with a linen cloth. It is from this container that two of the Apostles take small loaves of bread and also bring forth a beautiful pear-shaped vessel or chalice which seems to be made of gold. It is very beautiful. It glows, it was placed on a tray. Then they place it all before Our Lord and God. The youngest one has gone. Now he brings a white linen cloth, which he gives to Our Lord. The one with the brown beard is going to the side 41
  • 43. of the room and is bringing a strange looking earthen-ware contain­ er. It seems to be, no, a jar,-it is hard to explain. The two Apostles then go back and take their own places. This bread does not look like the loaves of bread they had at the supper, the loaves are different, much flatter. He now speaks to them and they all solemnly recline. (Mary Ann makes the Sign of. the Cross twice.) Our Lord blesses what the two Apostles brought before Him, again He speaks to them. Now He seems to be blessing all of them. The one without the beard seems so concerned; he never leaves the side of Our Lord and God. He places His hand on the shoulder of this one Apostle as if to reassure him that everything is alright. 20. OUR LORD INSTITUTES THE HOLY SACRIFICE OF THE MASS No one seems to be speaking, everyone seems to be alone with himself. There is such an uplifting feeling, so heavenly, so beauti­ ful. Our Lord looks heavenward. Our Lord and God raises His arms, (Mary Ann raises her arms above her head.) turning His eyes heavenward towards God the Father in Heaven. At that instant God the Father appears above Our Lord in a flash. It seems that Our Lord and God offers Himself to God the Father, that He willed it so. Oh, how beautiful Our Lord and God looks, how beautiful! (Mary Ann's expression is one of rapture and awe) I cannot find words to explain this beauty, and the reverence one feels. (Mary Ann raises her right hand, makes the Sign of the Cross with two fingers extended.) CONSECRATION OF THE BREAD ­ TRANSUBSTANTIATION. Our Lord picks up the loaf of bread, again His eyes look heaven­ ward toward God the Father Who willed the changing of the bread into His flesh. Here I find no words to explain the awesome feeling 42
  • 44. (f) (f) « ~ 'I­ (f) cc u. w I I­
  • 45. that engulfs one, when, I see Our Lord and God with His arms raised holding the loaf of bread, which pulsates with brilliant rays oflight coming from above, and all around Our Lord. How beauti ­ ful Our Lord looks during this moment when He holds the loaf of bread in His hands. He is speaking but I do not understand what He is saying. His whole being seems to glow as though He is transpar ­ ent, as if He isn't there, and yet He is present. Our Lord lays the loaf of bread down before Him. He breaks the loaf in half and the one half into many pieces. Our Lord's eyes turn heavenward; His lips are moving as He speaks to God the Father. It seems at this mo­ ment that there is such a great brilliance all about the Sacred Table. Rays of light seem to come from above and from Our Lord's body engulfing the loaf of bread which seems to pulsate, throb, or vibrate with a glowing light as Our Lord's eyes look heavenward; as He speaks to God The Father in Heaven. (At this time Mary Ann raises to a sitting position, reaches upward with both arms. Her expres­ sion is one of complete awe and reverence. Her arms continue to extend upward as she apparently sees something very, very beauti ­ ful. Tears flow from her eyes as she says with love and devotion, "My Lord and My God." At the same time her arms cross and her hands rest on her shoulders. She then says, "One feels so unworthy, so unworthy, so unclean, yet one's chest seems to burst as one's heart swells with such a great love that glows within you. All one can do as you witness this Great and Sacred Moment is say, 'MY LORD, MY GOD: MY LORD, MY GOD' ". As there is a tightness in one's throat, I find no words suitable to explain the awesome feel­ ing of rapture; the joyful experience as one says, "My Lord, My God, I am not worthy.") During all this it seems the ceiling disap­ peared and Angds, Cherubs, and Saints appeared in its place. It seems all of Heaven came down. Such a heavenly beauty; such a joyful experience. I cannot explain the feeling, it is as if one is lifted up and isn't here on earth. All the Apostles' eyes were turned heav­ enward, they seem awe-stricken and their eyes seem to have such a heavenly expression of love, of devotion; how beautiful, how beau ­ tiful. Oh God! Oh God! Open this up to our priests, open this up to our priest. (Mary Ann said this in a most pleading tone of voice, while the tears flowed from her eyes.) Let them see the "Glory of 44
  • 46. Glories" of Heaven, that Thy Lord and God represents. Oh Lord, Oh God! Oh Lord, Oh God! In the upper chamber it seems Our Blessed Mother, Our Holy Mother, witnesses all of this. Mary Ann smiles and says, "Oh so beautiful, at this sacred moment is the reverence, the devotion por ­ trayed by all the women while Our Holy Mother and the one with the golden hair prostrate themselves during this so solemn period." Some of the women in the adjoining room are praying with folde"d hands, with such devotion. Also those who prepared the food, and performed the other tasks in the main room, are now on their knees and praying with deep devotion during this most solemn period. 22. CONSECRATION OF THE WINE ­ TRANSUBSTANTIATION I am now drawn back to Our Lord and God Who is briefly speak­ ing with the Apostles. Our Lord blesses the beautiful pear-shaped vessel or Chalice, again the brilliance of light shines on Our Lord. He picks up the golden vessel or Chalice, (Mary Ann holds her hands together in the shape ofa Chalice.) and offers it up to His Fa­ ther in Heaven and just as before, God the Father shows Himself in a flash. The brilliant rays of light from above, seem to penetrate Our Lord and God. The light seems to flow from Our Lord's body which engulfs the Golden Vessel or Chalice, and It seems to pulsate or vibrate with a throbbing motion. A darker substance seems to flow into the Golden Vessel or Chalice from Our Lord's body, yet, He is visible as One. (Mary Ann raises from a reclining position, stretches forth her arms, looks up with great reverence and devo ­ tion; then reaching higher and higher and as her body trembles and strains, tears stream down her face as she says, "MY LORD, MY GOD; MY LORD, MY GOD. God the Father in Heaven, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost, Angels in Heaven." Slowly she re­ turns to a reclining position criss-crossing her arms over her chest in an attitude of prayer and great reverence). This seems so strange, the transparent look, yet it isn't. I just cannot explain it. Just as be­ fore the Angels, Cherubs and Saints appear on all sides above Our 45
  • 47. Lord, the same brilliant light, the same glorious feeling engulfs one as all one can say, "Oh My Lord, My God, I am not worthy; My Lord, My God, I am not worthy to witness this Solemn Moment." This heavenly feeling of great joy, it is just unexplainable. I fail here to find the words to express this glorious heavenly scene as Our Lord and God offers Himself to His Eternal Father in Heaven. This is the most solemn period when God the Father showed Himself to His Divine Son. Our Holy Mother witnessed this beauty, this sacred, sacred moment! Even Enoch and Elias were called forth in their mortal bodies to witness and partake in this most solemn period. This was just told to me by a voice. (Then Mary Ann crossed her arms over her chest and again said with such deep devotion "My Lord and My God.") Our Lord speaks to the Apostles as they seem to arise with still this beautiful expression on their faces, all except one, this dark looking one. He has a strange expression of uncertainty, mixed emotion of guilt, of awe and fear which he is trying very hard to hide. Our Lord and God picks up one of the particles of bread He had broken previously. He holds it up, seems to be saying something which I do not understand. Now the Apostle at the right of Our Lord and the one from the left of Our Lord, the same two that brought the strange looking container from the side of the room humbly kneel down together. While I was watching, the two Apostles leave their places at the table, which Our Lord had commanded them to do. Our Lord fin­ ished praying over the Particles of Bread. Our Lord and God par­ takes of Himself in all humbleness and humility. It is so strange, underneath each Particle, no matter now small, there is an Image of Himself, this is very strange and yet so beautiful. 23. ANGELS TAKE THE SACRED SPECIES TO OUR HOLY MOTHER Our Lord gives an angel, it is Archangel Gabriel, a Particle of Bread with an Image of Our Lord and God beneath It. Another 46
  • 48. angel is taking a small Chalice with Liquid. They take the Sacred Species to Our Lord's Holy Mother in the upper chamber. Our Lord and God gives a Particle of Bread with His Image underneath it to the youngest Apostle and to the one with the brown beard. (Mary Ann shows the size of His Image with her finger about 11 /2 inches.) 24. APOSTLES RECEIVE THE SACRED SPECIES While Our Lord gave these two Apostles each a Particle of Bread, two other Apostles, one from each side of the table, would enter within. They humbly kneel down. The Apostles who walk within the V together, give each other the Particle of Bread which Our Lord and God has placed before them. Here again appears the same Image of Our Lord and God; even the smallest little Crumb that had fallen off as Our Lord and God had broken the Bread, no matter how small the Piece, the Image of Our Lord and God is transformed upon It; even while He stands there all aglow, Our Lord has a transparent look, the only word I can use. God the Father in Heaven had willed it so. Every Particle of Bread separated from the main Particle will not be an accident. It will not be just a limb of Our Lord, it will be His Whole Body unit ­ ed. Each Particle is Thy Lord and God, whole and entire. (Mary Ann spoke these words with much humility, sincerity and convic­ tion.) This is all so strange to watch. It is so beautiful! One feels like they are in Heaven, and God the Father is there, while His Divine Son comes within one. Oh so beautiful! Such a glorious feeling of JOy. Now Our Lord and God pours from that Beautiful Golden Ves­ sel or Chalice some Liquid; just a few drops into the smaller vessels, which the two Apostles are holding, in their left hands. (Mary Ann gasps with surprise and exclaims, "Oh how beautiful!") An image appears of Our Lord's Heart with blood-like liquid flowing from it into the little vessels, which they are partaking of. Oh how beauti­ ful! Now both the Apostles arise, as it seems Our Lord instructs them to do so. They walk in back of Our Lord and God to the right side of the room where the tapestry or carpet was drawn. They open 47
  • 49. it partially. Beside them are the two strangers with long gray hair and beards, Enoch and Elias. They both receive of the Particles of Bread and of the Liquid or Wine from the two Apostles who now go to the partially open tapestry as the workers and attendants come up to {he opening by twos to receive. THEY ALL HUMBLY KNEEL TO PARTAKE. The youngest gives the Liquid or Wine, I am not sure what the Vessel really contains. They partake and leave, while others come forward to partake. The other Apostles continue to enter the V by twos. They give each other a Particle of Bread. Our Lord and God pours a Liquid or Wine from an earthen­ like jug into smaller pear-shaped Vessels. They are similar to the one before Our Lord only much smaller. (Mary Ann gestures with her hands the size of these containers.) There is one for each Apos­ tle, which the Apostle carries in his left hand when he enters within the V. But in the third group as they go in twos, the darker one, he is the third Apostle from the right of Our Lord, his face seems much dark­ er, seems a little more sunburned, wind burned, with darker expres­ sion than the rest. He gave a Particle of Bread to the one Apostle with him inside the V. Now the other ~postle with him gives him, (Mary Ann says, "Oh", and with an expression of surprise says, "an Angel snatches the Particle of Bread from his lips, he doesn't par­ take." Mary Ann seems to be listening, then says, "Yes, I under­ stand, that would be desecration.") He turns very dark and leaves. He never looks toward His Lord and God. He does not go back to his place at the table but sneaks behind them near the carpet or tap­ estry. He does not fool Our Lord and God, for, He knew this was in his plans, the evil thoughts His betrayer had within him. Our Lord looks down on him with pity and sadness. This darker one, gives one the feeling of evilness, betrayal, or something terribly wrong. (Mary Ann shudders in disgust.) He slips in back of the Apostles, stops behind a pillar, watches the other Apostles as they, un­ disturbed, continue to receive both Species. He slips slowly out be­ hind the partition of either carpet or tapestry, and leaves. Because of his immediate departure after the Angel snatched the Bread away, he does not touch or partake of the Liquid or Wine as the rest of the Apostles did. 48
  • 50. 25. TRUE WORDS OF CONSECRATION A deep voice spoke, who it was, I do not know. "You have just witnessed the True Consecration of the Holy Bread into the Body of Thy Lord and God. This Bread, at this moment, becomes insepara- ble from Thy Lord and God, every Particle, no matter how large or small, becomes Thy Lord and God as a Whole, United and Entire. This is called TRANSUBSTANTIATION. That is the reason you witnessed the Image of Thy Lord and God on every Particle of Bread. The Holy Bread of Life Eternal, the reality and sign, is the True Body of Thy Lord and God; thus, the grace uniting the soul with Thy Lord and God. Thy Lord and God instructs the Apostles thus. You witnessed an instant appearance of God the Father to Thy Lord and God, so He wills this. When Thy Lord picks up the loaf of Bread, He tells the Apostles: 'THIS IS MY BODY! TAKE YOU ALL AND EAT OF THIS. FOR THIS IS MY BODY WHICH IS GIVEN FOR YOU, DO THIS IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.' At this moment, God the Father and Thy Lord and God with the Holy Ghost, are united into One, thus, God the Father so wills. "You again witnessed the solemn, the most glorious moment, when Thy Lord and God picked up the Golden Vessel, the Chalice, the Heart of Thy Lord and God; as you witnessed the Blood flows from Thy Lord into this goodly Chalice as Thy Lord and God pours wine into the Chalice. Thy Lord again instructs them (Apostles). 'FOR THIS IS THE CHALICE OF MY BLOOD OF THE NEW TESTAMENT AND ETERNAL COVENANT, THE MYSTERY OF FAITH, WHICH SHALL BE SHED FOR YOU AND FOR MANY UNTO THE FORG IVENESS OF SINS. AS OFTEN AS YOU SHALL DRINK IT, IN MEMORY OF ME SHALL YOU DO IT.' The voice continues: Thus, He Thy Lord instructs His Apostles, this Bread is His Body, this Wine is His blood and is given to those who are not of sin and for all men who obey Him, which you witnessed when Judas the evil one, was ready to partake of the Particle of Bread, which was Holy Bread of Life Eternal, and the small Chalice of Wine, Thy Savior's blood of Unending Salvation, All perfect; had Judas partaken that would have been desecration. 49
  • 51. That is why God the Father instructed the Angel to snatch It from him (Judas). "When Thy Lord speaks of ,you' He means the Apostles, and for 'many' He means the men of the New Testament. He told the Apos­ tle 'I, Thy Lord and God, pray for you (meaning the Apostles). I pray not for the world, but for them whom Thou hast given Me, be­ cause they are Thine. I am the Vine, you are the branches.' Much is lost in translation from Thy Lord's language to your language as the true meaning cannot be brought forth." Back at the main place Thy Lord and God is speaking to the rest of the Apostles (nine of them). The two Apostles returned after giv­ ing the two Species to all attendants, workers, cooks and those that did other tasks. They place before Our Lord the Particles left, which Thy Lord and God now places into another smaller Vessel and covers It with a white linen cloth, which they now take to the side where they first brought It from, the smaller table. They place It within the strange looking container which is covered with a white linen cloth. While the two Apostles return the Particles to the small table, Our Lord and God wipes the beautiful golden pear ­ shaped Vessel or Chalice with a white linen cloth. After Our Lord is finished cleansing this beautiful Vessel, He speaks to them. Our Lord gives one of the Apostles the same linen cloth He used to wipe the pear-shaped Vessel or Chalice which the Apostle uses to wipe and cleanse his smaller Vessel. When he is finished he passes it on to the next, until all small Vessels are cleansed, even the one that the dark haired one never used; yet the Apostle wipes It. After all the Vessels are clean, Our Lord and God blesses all the Apostles, also the two strangers with the gray hair and beards. (Mary Ann makes the Sign of the Cross.) After the blessing they all bow their heads in deep prayer and meditation. While in the upper chamber Our Holy Mother is praying with the Holy Women with such deep devotion and meditation. Our Holy Mother makes the Sign of the Cross as She visualizes Her Di­ vine Son's blessing of the Apostles. Our Lord and the eleven seem to have been in deep meditation or prayer. Now Our Lord speaks to them and they arise. They retreat to the side and continue to pray. Our Lord and the eleven Apostles in retreat of prayer while the 50
  • 52. twelfth one roams the darkened streets as a thief iri the night. In the room where the third lamb was taken the servants, too, had been on their knees in prayer. They too, were praying, they are now dispers­ ing. Back to Our Lord and God, it seems all are receiving some last instruction as they are preparing to leave, the youngest one and the one with the brown hair and beard seem very concerned. Our Lord seems to assure them of something. They are now leaving the large building. 26. OUR LORD AND THE APOSTLES ENTER THE GARDEN They are walking through the back narrow path leading to the garden, a beautiful garden. To the youngest Apostle here, Our Lord and God gave the privilege of taking care of Our Holy Mother, to be with Her at all times. Those were the instructions Our Lord and God gave him at the Last Supper, so he returns back to the large building to be with the Mother of God, if he is needed. The rest have dispersed into the shrubbery; three of them are walking with Our Lord and God, Who is again speaking to them. The youngest Apostle stays at the side door, of the large building. He does not enter the upper chamber but watches and waits at the side of the building. 27. BETRAYAL - THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER Feeling of evilness all about one, this one, he is evil, he is one of the Apostles, the twelfth one. (Mary Ann's expression is one of dis­ gust.) He is sneaking through the darkness behind shrubberies, down a path, creeping through dark streets, going to talk to the priests. Oh, such evilness, he's going to the back of a building. He is entering through a back door. They seem to expect him here. One seems to be a high official, high priest or something. There are two other men with them. They are talking and planning something 51
  • 53. which is evil. Points toward the building which he just left, as if he was speaking about Our Lord. They are disputing back and forth, but finally come to an agreement. They hand him some coins as he sneaks out into the night. It presses one way down. Oh, the dark, evil look in his eyes, the greedy look. He clings to the sack of coins that one of the dignitaries gave him. He clutches it to him as if it meant so much. He is talking to the three of them. One feels like he is a thiefin the dark. He con­ tinuously looks back like he feels he is doing wrong. But oh, he had only the thought of receiving some favor granted from those three. Oh, ifhe would only know what he is doing to His Lord, His God at this moment. (Mary Ann's expression is one of serious concern.) Look back, you thief, you evil one. His florid face is darkening. He does not look as white as he did before. There is evilness all about him. God have mercy on him, Oh God, have mercy on him. 28. THE AGONY IN THE GARDEN They have entered a garden, a beautiful garden. It is beautiful here, but the feeling of sadness comes over one, of deep sorrow, as Our Lord is walking with heavy heart, walking and praying, feeling heavy at heart. Oh God, Oh God, have mercy. Our Lord seems to be instructing the three of them to pray and watch, seems to speak to them with much compassion, while they seem to assure Him of something very faithfully. His heart is heavy, which makes the three of them anxious and sad. They are asking Him questions, they are stopping now, they are kneeling down. It seems these were the instructions of Our Lord, to pray, to pray to Our Father in Heaven. The three of them are now reclining while Our Lord slowly walks further on into a sort of sanctuary garden. In the garden, back in the environment of unhappiness, or sor­ row, is Our Lord. He knows what is taking place, and oh, how it hurts Him. How sorrowful it makes Him feel, for He knows it is all for Him to accept. He bows His head in sorrow. He prays, He seems to be praying, praying, for him who is doing Him wrong this very moment. Tears of sorrow are streaming down His face. 52
  • 54. Our Lord walks on deeper into the garden. Everything seems quiet and still, sort of heaviness bearing down on all of them. Our Lord is looking heavenward, His eyes are sad, His lips seem to be praying. He raises His arms toward Heaven as if to plead, asking for strength. His face is drawn with sadness and grief. There seems to be a weight bearing down on His shoulders, which causes His body to lower. But His eyes are still looking upward, His arms are still raised. He is sinking, lower and lower, now He is on His knees, how sad, how heavy. The pressure seems unbearable. There seems to be a darkness all about. 29. APOSTLES ASLEEP The three are still in deep prayer. Their eyes are turning heavy, heavier, heavier. They are closing their eyes, they seem to have gone asleep. Just as the world is asleep, they heed not, they care not for Our Lord and God, They are asleep the same as today. And now back to Our Lord, Who has gone down on His knees with a most heavy heart. Beads of perspiration are flowing from His face while the three recline. Their heads are bowed, their eyes are drooping. His eyes are looking towards the heavens, they are filled with a grief, a deep grief. It seems to be cutting into Him, deeper and deeper. Oh, how penetrating it gets. He is praying, praying. Oh, the sorrow on His face, the agony, the anguish, the pain that seems to be reflected on His face. His beautiful face has turneo to one of anguish and sorrow. He is stooping lower and lower. The weight seems heavier and heavier. (Mary Ann with hands clasped, repeat ­ edly tosses backward and forward, side to side in the wheelchair, suffers greatly, body slumps forward, forward, until her head al­ most touches her knees. Slowly she rises to normal sitting position.) His eyes seem to plead as He looks to the heavens. 30. OUR LORD VISIONS HIS MOTHER He looks towards the village. He turns His eyes toward the large building, glancing toward the building where He knows His Moth­ 53
  • 55. er is praying. There seems to be a light coming from the village. His eyes fill with love toward that light. Oh yes, in that light is a vision of Our Holy Mother with twelve or maybe more women all about Her in prayer, in deep prayer. It gives Him strength as He raises His eyes to Heaven and asks God the Father (so it seems,) to help Him. 31. A LIGHT, OUR BLESSED MOTHER VISIONS HER SON But Our Mother, She too, is in sorrow. She visions Her Son in the garden. She knows Her Son is in such anguish, in such agony, and She tries to lift it from the One She so loves. It seems to be more than She can bear. "Oh, Holy Mother, Oh Sorrowful Mother! My Lord and My God. Oh Holy Mother, Oh Blessed Mother, so heavy the weight." She pleads with Her eyes toward Heaven, and again Her eyes turn toward the garden, for She knows Her Divine Son is suffering for something the Father in Heaven has so wished, so willed upon Her Divine Son. She too, feels the weight, the heavi­ ness, as She is being pressed down. The tears are streaming from Her eyes as She glances toward the garden where She knows Her Son is suffering. Oh, how sad She looks, such anguish and sorrow. She is pleading with Heaven to help carry this weight, for it seems She wants so much to help Her Son. She bows Her head down into Her lap and shakes with grief. (Mary Ann, in a voice filled with deep sorrow and grief, says.) "Holy Mother, Blessed Mother." 32. BACK TO OUR LORD Our Lord's body seems to be trembling, and shaking with the weight and anguish, the agony of it all. He again looks heavenward and prays and pleads. He tries to rise, but the weight staggers Him. He gets up on His feet and staggers back the way He had come. 55
  • 56. 33. APOSTLES STILL ASLEEP Slowly with folded hands, He approaches the three Apostles whom He had left to pray with Him, but they are so weak in flesh that they turn their heads. It seems they, in their weakness, have turned to slumber and have forgotten Our Lord's request to pray with Him at this time. Their fervent promise they did not keep. He speaks to them, but they are too tired. He looks at them so pitifully, so sad. He looks to the heavens and looks down upon the three who are to be with Him, but left him alone. He turns around slowly. Yes, He is alone with bowed shoulders and head, all alone while they are sleeping. Slowly He walks back a little further into the garden, staggering, stooped over from the weight that is bearing Him down; sort of a darkness, a heaviness, a betrayal, an evilness that helps to weigh Him down. 34. OUR HOLY MOTHER IS WEIGHED DOWN WITH GRIEF AND SORROW "Oh Holy Mother." Our Blessed Mother seems to be bending down lower and lower, for She seems to feel all the pain and sorrow of Her Son. "Oh Holy Mother, Your shoulders seem to be weighed down with such heavy weights. Oh Blessed Mother, Oh Holy Moth­ er, Thy eyes are pleading to Heaven with grief and sorrow." 35. THE ROCK He drops Himself on a huge rock, feeling left alone, seeming to be crushed with the weight. His eyes, such beautiful eyes, as they plead. His arms again extend towards Heaven. His eyes turn to the heavens. There seems to be a light, a glow upon Him. His arms 56
  • 57. again extend towards Heaven. Oh, the anguish, the suffering, His face, Oh His face, it looks so pitiful! He has dropped on His face upon a rock, quivering in every muscle, and every fibre of His body is shaking. He looks toward the heavens, again He pleads. His lips are moving, His eyes are so sorrowful, so much in agony, the pres­ sure. 36. OUR LORD VISIONS THE SINS OF THE WORLD And now there seems to be a light, a glow upon Him. He seems to be seeing something. Our heavenly Father shows His Son the sins of the world. Oh, oh, His face, Oh the anguish, the pity, the sorrow, Perspiration is pouring down His face. He clasps His hands. "Oh God, oh God, have mercy on Him." There seems to be a great opening before Him. The earth opens before Our Lord and in a deep cavern He visions the world's sins, corruption, disbelief. Dur ­ ing all this, His body bends over, down, and down, until He pros­ trates Himselflooking at this terrible sight of humanity before Him. (Mary Ann suffers greatly and says, "Oh My God!" Her expression is one of shock and disbelief. She shakes her head and says, "No, no Blessed Mother, Sorrowful Mother. My Lord, My God." Mary Ann's facial expression still shows great distress as though she is seeing something horrible, almost unbearable.) He sees crimes, the killings, the blackest of sins committed before Him; and through this beads of perspiration come out over His face, His entire body, but especially His Divine head. I see blood and sweat coming forth as He views the sins of the world, of those whom He so loves; those who His Father in Heaven has created and those who will be creat ­ ed. 37. COULD YOU NOT THEN WATCH ONE HOUR WITH ME The Agony in the Garden is a very painful endurance. The three Apostles are still asleep, just like the human race is asleep. They 57
  • 59. cannot keep ONE HOUR with Their Lord and God. Asleep to their own happiness and their own glory. If they would only keep that one hour a day with Him, it would bring much more happiness, peace and joy to all of them. He raises His head from the large rock. He again glances toward the building as if pleading with His Mother to help Him. He is shaking and trembling, even His hair is wet from perspiration. There seems to be something darker than perspiration on His fore­ head. Our Holy Mother also visualizes this same opening, and She pleads to God the Father in Heaven, to give Him strength. His Holy Mother, too, seems to feel His anguish, the agony, that Her Divine Son is enduring, for She seems to have fainted. The two women are lifting Her up. Oh, Her beautiful face, how sorrowful She looks, She is back up again now. She has turned so pale, so white, as She too, glances anxiously toward the garden. 38. A LIGHT GIVES HIM STRENGTH As the light comes from Her to Her Divine Son, and He looks up with blood and sweat streaming down His face, He -sees His Holy Mother. This gives Him strength. Also God the Father from Heav­ en, from Whom, beams of light are coming down upon Him give Him strength to carry on, for the sins of the world are so heavy to bear. 39. APOSTLES SLUMBER ON He staggers as He walks forward, stumbles, but He keeps going. He goes back the second time toward the sleeping Apostles. Our Lord finds the three still slumbering on in a deep sleep. He again looks down upon them with such sadness and compassion in His eyes as His hair is wet with perspiration and darker drops seem to be on His forehead. He looks down on the forms of the sleeping Apostles. He speaks to them, they slumber on. Two of them seemed to have buried their heads in their hands and are sound asleep. He 59
  • 60. looks at them, again He speaks to them, but they are too tired. They do not even stir, they do not respond to His call, they sleep on. 40. OUR HOLY MOTHER AGAIN VISIONS HER SON Our Holy Mother visions that the Apostles have fallen asleep and left Her Divine Son alone. They failed to pray with Him. Our Holy Mother seems to know this. "Oh Holy Mother, Thy heart is grieved, Thou prayest and asked the holy women to pray with Thee." Still asleep, they cannot stay awake to pray for their Master. "Oh Sorrowful Mother, Oh Blessed Mother, Thy heart is so heavy with pain and sorrow to see Thy Son with His blood-spattered face." Our Lord looks to the heavens again in prayer, and He bows over. He seems to look smaller in the weight that is pressed upon Him. Oh, so alone, so alone He stands there. They could not keep this moment with Him. They hear not His plea. They are too weak, too tired, they have forgotten Our Lord's plea to pray. 41. TODAY'S APOSTLES AND CHRISTIANS ASLEEP Pray, pray, not enough prayers. Catholicism is losing ground, not enough prayers, Christian World is too complacent. No love of God, love of self, only love of self. They are asleep as the World is asleep. They cannot keep one hour with Him, the World cannot ei­ ther. Slowly He turns again, again He walks back, shaking, trem­ bling, stumbling, staggering, alone. 42. OUR LORD SWEATS BLOOD His hair is all matted together as if He had come out ofa rain. He is going back, deeper and deeper into the garden. He falls prostrat­ ed right down on His face. His face, oh, it seems to be so, so grieved, so strained. His beautiful face, distorted with the agony of the sins of the world. He shakes as if unable to accept what is given Him. He 60
  • 61. tries to arise, but is too weak, He falls back again. "Oh Holy Mother." Rays of Light shine upon Our Lord from His Holy Mother while He lies prostrate upon a rock. He is so weary, so pressed down, the weight is so heavy. His face is so wet with blood and perspiration. (Mary Ann's shoulders droop and her body slumps forward and she says, "weight, weight is so heavy.") 43. ANGEL HOLDS CHALICE A bright ray oflight shines on Our Lord as His eyes look heaven­ ward and in it this ray, oh is a Chalice. (Mary Ann smiles, seems awed, raises herself up with arms extended.) An Angel is holding the Chalice. "Blessed Mother, Holy Mother, you too have visioned the Chalice of Thy Divine Son. It pleases Him because You have prayed for Him and given Him strength." There seems to be a spe­ cial kind of a light shining down. Our Holy Mother is on Her knees. She too feels this glorious moment. A golden ray of light streams down upon Our Lord. Our Father in Heaven is bringing down a beam of light on His Son, to give Him strength to fulfill His Father's will in Heaven. "My Lord! My God!" "He trembles so, He trembles so." (As Mary Ann said these words, tears were flowing from her eyes, her face looked so sad, yet radiant, then she folded her hands in prayer.) It gives Him strength, His face brightens, He looks beautiful. Our Holy Mother seems to be witnessing this. A weight seems to be bearing down on Her. She seems to feel His agony, pain, suffering, and weakness. A light engulfs Her. She seems to gather strength from this. An Angel comes to Our Lord and lifts Him up, one hand underneath each elbow. He seems to gather strength from this. His face changes expression, His face is so Divine, so full of love, and yet so full of sorrow. He arises tired, weary, so sorrowful, like one that has accepted what is pressed upon Him, what is given Him; prepared to meet with love whatever is wanted of Him. Oh, such wonderful love that is in His Heart. It seems He is gathering strength. He is now going down upon His knees and His eyes are looking heavenward, and He is praying. His prayers are getting 61
  • 63. more powerful. Oh, the change that has come over Him. Sorrow, and still it seems like joy. His face is calmer, more beautiful. Now He arises, He is on His feet, tired, weary, so sorrowful. He brushes back His matted hair, He has been given strength, He is walking back to the sleeping forms on the ground, though still weak, yet His steps are firmer. 44. APOSTLES AWAKEN He is walking toward the Apostles. He speaks to them, and now they stir in slumber. They rub their eyes. He speaks to them in a firm, stern voice. They awaken quickly, startled by the matted hair and the blood and perspiration on their Master's face whom they have neglected by their slumber; they have neglected Him. They seem to be sorry because they have been asleep and not kept the watch as Their Lord and God had asked them. They hastily get up on their feet. One of them seems to be pointing to the direction they came. Our Lord shakes His Head and says, "NO." He starts leaving the garden, and now there is a noise towards the front of the garden where there is a wide path leading to it. Oh, there are multitudes coming towards Him, with soldiers ready to take Him. The gate flies open, and a group of soldiers and other men start coming through. The three Apostles seem nervous, anxious, and alarmed. They seem to want to call to the other eight that are further on. Our Lord raises His hand as if to say "silent"; Our Lord speaks to them and they follow Him as He approaches the soldiers. 45. THE BETRAYAL Oh, at the head of these soldiers is the dark one, the twelfth one, the evil one. (Mary Ann gags and retches, she sinks and has to be aroused.) He approaches with a smiling face, such a betraying face, all smiles, and speaks friendly to Our Lord, and Our Lord looks at him with pity and sadness. The leader it seems, (of the soldiers), 63
  • 64. speaks to Our Lord. Our Lord answers them. Some of the soldiers seem alarmed, and fall back as if they are frightened at what Our Lord is saying to them. An unseen force seems to throw the soldiers face down onto the ground, excepting the twelfth one, and thethree others. Buithe others in the group and the twelfth one, oh no, they have much more in their hearts, they command "ON"! Now the soldiers arise as if Our Lord commanded them to arise. Again this leader speaks to Our Lord, again Our Lord answers, and~gain th~y fall on their faces. This seems to anger the twelfth one and the oth­ ers with him. Again the evil one commands them forward. The sol­ diers are all on their feet again. The other eight Apostles seem to have heard His voice at the gate. They seem to be coming from where I do not know. They are coming towards Our Lord and the other three. 46. THE BETRAYER KISSES OUR LORD The evil one is walking towards Our Lord, smiling, but oh, what a smile. Our Lord says something to him. He, oh, kisses Our Lord with such a betraying face. Such a kiss of evilness. (Mary Ann's ex­ pression is one of extreme disgust.) Oh, the sorrow that is shown in the face of Our Lord. He looks at him with compassion, and Our Lord says something to him, but I cannot understand them. Oh, the pity Our Lord gives the twelfth one, but he doesn't seem to feel that he has done wrong. He looks at his fellow Apostles with a queer smile, a queer twitching at the corner of his mouth, and backs away. It seems during all this time the other eight Apostles have arrived and joined the three. They want to fly in defense it seems, at the sol­ diers, but Our Lord puts up His hand and they step back. They obey Him, but with sorrow, for they love Our Lord. The soldiers are rushing forward now, swarm around Our Lord. The leader snatches Our Lords beautiful robe and it is held before him as he rides on a white horse. They have seized Him, grab His arms, again there is a commo­ tion. 64
  • 65. 47. APOSTLE CUTS OFF EAR To one side there seems to be a scuffle with the Apostles in the midst of it. One of the Apostles jumps forward at this moment and draws his sword (Mary Ann gasped in astonishment). "Oh, oh, an ear flies off, the righ t one, he has cu t off an ear of one of them." Our Lord looks at the Apostle, He does not seem to like what he has done, Our Lord speaks sternly to him. They seem to be watching as Our Lord steps forward, raises His hand and takes this ear into His hand and replaces it. (Mary Ann raises her hand and touches her right ear). It is all healed, as if nothing ever happened to it, and this man, bows his head and steps back, away from this angry group. Some of the soldiers fall down on their faces for such a miracle. The soldiers have grabbed Our Lord, have His arms pinned to His side. The others jerk Him, push Him, and sneer and laugh, including the twelfth one. Evilness drives them on. Oh, he could not see, he could not believe it seems, that, Ou'r Lord is so great. He can't weaken, so he steps forward and seems to shout something and the multitudes are rushing. 48. OUR LORD IS TIED WITH A ROPE Oh, they are tying Him up. They are putting, I don't know, shackles or something, damps around His wrists. There is a chain to this and a ring. They are tying His arms tight against His body from His elbows upward around and around. They are crossing the rope from His right arm to His left shoulder, around His neck, across the right shoulder to His left arm, then to the back. This forms a loop and this rope is connected to the back of His neck, and through this loop two ropes are tied, and in front of Him they are tying two ropes to the large ring. Oh, the way they are pushing Him, jerking Him, slapping Him across His face with the ends of the rope. (Mary Ann throws herself from side to side, back and forth, strikes her head and face with clasped hands, sinks, breathing seems to stop, has to be aroused.) 65
  • 66. 49. NAKEDNESS, YOUNG MAN STRIPPED OF GARMENTS It seems the Apostles have all disappeared, excepting two. There is a young man, he resembles one of the Apostles. The guards or soldiers tried to grab him, but they could not hold him. They only grabbed his garments as this young man ran away, stripped of all his clothing. (Mary Ann sinks, breathing seems to stop, has to be aroused.) Evil one whispers into the ear of this Councilor or High Priest. He seems to be much in glee and enjoying himself. 50. OUR LORD IS TAKEN FROM THE GARDEN They are taking Our Lord through a gate and down a rough path, not the main path. Two pull Him forward with ropes, two pull back. Oh, they jerk Him right off His feet, right on His face, they drag Him, now they jerk Him back up. His face is bruised, some with ends of ropes are slapping Him in His face, the knots producing welts. They jerk His hair, they pull it, they spit at Him, they scratch His face, they hit Him in the mouth. It cuts His lips, blood is run­ ning down. (Mary Ann's expression is one of deep sorrow and grief.) He goes down again, they prod Him with spears, they jab His sides, they jerk Him, they knock Him down, they spit at Him. He tries to get up, they jerk Him, make Him fall. The sharp rocks cut His face, His hands are bleeding, they jerk Him by His hair. He walks on, but they don't let Him walk. They jerk Him sideways, backwards, then forwards, and laugh and sneer, seem to say hateful things to Him. He falls down again. They seem to be crossing a pool, they throw dirt in His eyes, mud at Him, sticks, stones, dirty rags, anything they can find. Oh, they are dragging Him, they won't let Him get up, they jerk Him backwards. He gets up on His feet, Oh His forehead, there is a big cut on it from the rock. Blood is run­ ning in His eyes, in His mouth. They spit at Him. (Mary Ann's ex­ pression is one of disgust and extreme anguish.) They seem to be entering a small village. Some people seem to be 66
  • 67. waiting here with lighted torches. Oh, what a mob. They are push­ ing forward to meet Our Lord, they are throwing rocks at Him, mud, they slap His face with sticks. They throw Him down again, now they are dragging Him. They are heading for one of their lead­ ers, seems to be a High Priest. They don't let Him walk, they slam Him down. Those sores, the wounds, the mud, the mire! His eyes turn heavenward. He only prays in humility and in love, while they spit on Him and jab Him with their swords. Such humility, such love, to save man in his sins, the sins they inflict upon God and Our Lord. 51. FIRST HIGH PRIEST OR COUNCILOR Oh, that beautiful face, so disfigured, oh how pitiful, how pitiful He looks. They are leading Him up some steps into a room. There sits a High Priest. Oh, he is the same one the evil one went to see, he is an old man. Oh, the evil one is there too. (Mary Ann seems sur­ prised, perplexed.) Oh mercy, they drag Him in front of the High Priest. He looks with disgust at the soldiers and at Our Lord. He seems to be scolding the soldiers as he looks at Our Lord. He seems not to like the looks of Our Lord Who stands before him. Such a sorrowful sight, such a pitiful looking human, He is human. They jerk Him out to another room, they throw Him on His face, now they jerk Him back up. Oh, that thirsty, angry mob, they waik up to Him again and slap Him, they holler and shout. Oh no, one of them throws water in His face, dirty water! Oh horrible, to look at Him! The water had taken sotfie of the mud off His face, but it washed it over His white gar­ ments. They jerk Him back out, they take Him back to this Council­ or. This Councilor is speaking to Him now; Our Lord does not an­ swer. Oh, the anger and mockery in the eyes of the mob, in the sol­ diers, in the throng about them. The lies, the look of hatred, they seem to be accusing Him. They jerk Him down, He falls, they pull Him up again. They don't give Him a chance to help Himself, they just slam Him, bang Him,jerk Him and laugh. Such snears, hatred, such mockery! They can't seem to come to an agreement here, 67
  • 68. there seems to be dissatisfaction, so they seem to be sending Him on somewhere else. Now He stops, and this older man, this High Priest or whatever he is, speaks again to Our Lord. Our Lord answers him in a firm stern voice: Then the crowd flies forward in rage and anger. He again speaks to Our Lord; Our Lord again answers Him in the same firm voice. Oh, they are not satisfied, so they are going on. I shouldn't say walking or going on, they are throwing Him down the steps, dragging Him down. He hits His head on one of the pillars, making a deep hole on the left side of His forehead. He cuts His face, His knees, His hands, as He rolls down. They jab Him with spears to make Him get up on His feet. Now they are heading, it seems, only a short way to another place. Oh, look at His knees, the bone is protruding and the blood is running. He still has only love in His eyes. Oh man here on earth, if you could only see Him now, you would not sin. Oh, such love and compassion. Oh, the ha­ tred, the evilness, the vulgarness, and now they pick up mud and dirt, and throw it at Him again. Oh, the pain that is shown on His face. (Mary Ann's expression is one of much sorrow and grief.) He prays, He prays, as they jerk Him on. Oh, they kick Him, they pull His hair. Two jerk forwards, the other two jerk backwards until He loses His footing. He falls on His knees which are so badly bruised, down on His face, He goes in the water, the mud. They jab Him, kick Him, push him, laugh, scratch Him, they tug at His beautiful hair. They slap Him. He tries to rise, they step on Him as He tries to get on His knees. They also slam His face, pulling one way, pulling the other. They don't even let Him walk up to the other court. They pull Him up the steps, bumping His head. His knees are being bruised. They kick Him as they walk by Him. They jab Him with spears. They step on Him as He tries to get on His knees. His eyes turn to Heaven. Oh, I can see the Sorrowful Mother in a vision behind Him. She is witnessing this all in a distance and Her heart breaks. "Oh, Mother!" 52. SECOND HIGH PRIEST OR OFFICIAL He arises, and now they are going into another room, a large 68
  • 69. place with huge pillars. This is another High Priest or Official, I don't know which, who sits on his official chair. He is dressed in fin­ ery, in silks. They throw Our Lord in front of him. He is now stand­ ing up before him. The other Councilor has joined this one here, and this older man, High Priest, speaks with the younger one and to some of the others. They are talking, (I cannot understand,) while they jeer, while they are throwing all the accusations, all the lies and everything they can think of at Him; while the soldiers are abusing Our Lord, spitting at Him, pulling His beard, poking His eyes, slap­ ping Him in the mouth. He makes no replies. He stands with bowed head in prayer, a very, oh, such a sorrowful, such a bloody mess of humanity, mire and mud. 53. OUR LORD TREATED AS A CRIMINAL There is a disagreement between them. The second Councilor asks Our Lord a question. Again Our Lord answers with a firm, sin­ cere voice. Oh no, the crowd jeers and yells. They point at Him, ac­ cuse Him of things. He stands before them like the biggest criminal, the most hated criminal. A thief or a robber would get better treat­ ment than Our Lord is getting. The angry mob is picking up mud, throwing it at Him. They are jerking Him out of this room while the two councilors are talking. They seem to be holding a conference between themselves. 54. MOCK CROWNING They jerk Him into another room and the mob follows Our Lord into this next room. They hit Him across the face with sticks, they jab Him, they throw things on His head. They dance in front of Him, bowing in front of Him. Oh now, they are crowning Him, they are putting a crown on His head. It's made of a mixture of briars, straws or sticks, twigs; slapping at Him with some of the sticks. They are spitting at Him. "Oh horrible." Again they pour a jar of water in His face, dirty water. Oh no, a jar of spittle! 69
  • 70. Now one of them brings a dirty cloak. They jerk off His cloak which they have muddied. They put a red, dirty, short robe on Him, right over the ropes, and fasten it at the neck, at His throat, while they dance and jump around Him. They bow before Him and gel up and slap Him. They gouge at His eyes. Now they are taking a dirty rag and tying it around His eyes. 55. THE HOLY SACRIFICE OF THE MASS IS SACRED This is a little example of todays Mass. How can they clap their hands in ajoyous reaction, when at this period Thy Lord and God's body is badly bruised as well as bones protruding and blood pour­ ing from the wounds? How can they call it a Mass and beat the drums and dance and clap their hands, we ask you? There are two of the Apostles standing at the entrance. The young Apostle puts his arms about the brown bearded Apostle and points toward the village. The younger one is shaking his head sadly as he looks toward Our Lord and leaves to go to Our Holy Mother. They are still praying in the chamber. 56. FIRST DENIAL The other one, tears streaming down his face, looks at Him too, and turns and walks towards another door, and here he is met by a woman who is carrying some water. She speaks to him, points at him, and the Apostle seems to deny something she is saying. He shakes his head angrily and walks quickly back the way he had come. First he denied Our Lord to a woman, and then a rooster crowed. He looks toward Our Lord, while at this moment they are jerking the dirty rag from His eyes. (Mary Ann suffers severely, flails her face with clasped hands.) They slap it across His eyes, hurting His eyes, as they lead Him back to the two Councilors or High Priests, or whatever they are, (between the columns) into the Court. They jerk Hirr around, trying to make Him dance. They hit His feet, and they are beating Him. 70
  • 71. He, this younger Councilor speaks to Him. Our Lord does not answer. They strike at Him, they dance around Him, they bow be­ fore Him and they spit in His face. They jerk Him down on His knees, then back up again. Again this younger one angrily speaks to Him, but again Our Lord does not answer. Again the Apostle is shown looking pitifully towards Our Lord and crying. "Oh, he feels so sorry, so sorry." He walks through one chamber into another, and there he sees Our Lord again. He takes a quick look at Him and tears stream down his face. He turns around in sadness to go out a side entrance. 57. SECOND DENIAL Then he is confronted by a woman who speaks to another man. They look at him, he shakes his head violently, he denies what they accuse him of. This is the second time he denies Our Lord and again a rooster crows. He seemed to have known better. Oh yes, he is so ashamed. (Mary Ann is greatly distressed and flails her face and forehead with clasped hands. She is near exhaustion.) Again the Apostle shakes his head and runs out and glances back over his shoulder towards Our Lord. Oh, how he is stooped. How bad he feels as he looks at Our Lord. He tries to walk out another door, but his way was blocked by the mob. The young Apostle speaks to the older Apostle. Oh, the face of Our Holy Mother! They are still in the same chamber, and She seems to feel every pain and anguish that Her Son is enduring. She seems to feel these denials when the Apostle denies Her Son. She kneels and prays for him in grief as tears are streaming from Her face. She also seems to feel all the pain from the body of Her Divine Son and every pain and agony He is endur­ ing. They Both seem to realize what Each Other is suffering. The woman with the beautiful golden hair is kneeling to the right of Our Holy Mother, and one of the other women, is to the left of Our Holy Mother. They are trying to support Her as Our Holy Mother seems to be stooped over with the weight, as She seems to be glancing in the direction of Her Son. The young Apostle seems to be pointing 71
  • 72. towards the village to the building in which Our Holy Mother is praymg. As the Councilors cannot get satisfaction from Our Lord or from the mob, they are sending Him away again. They seem to be send­ ing Him somewhere. The soldiers are jerking Our Lord around, they throw Him down, He strikes His head on one of the pillars. They jerk Him, jab Him, kick Him, they slap Him across His wounds; the blood runs into His eyes. They lead Him down some stairs. His knees are ripped and torn from the sharp edges of the steps and rocks. 58. THIRD DENIAL There is again the Apostle in back of the crowd, and one of the men, the one whose ear had been removed, looks at the Apostle and points his finger at him and says something to him. The Apostle shakes his head violently, runs past the multitude, and it seems, at the same moment, Our Lord is coming down the same steps and glances at the Apostle. At this glance their eyes meet, he looks piti ­ fully at Our Lord and the Apostle hangs his head in shame and rushes out crying bitterly and disappears into the crowd. As they are leading Our Lord out, he looks back with fear and love at Our Lord; oh, the sorrow he feels, he is afraid, and now the rooster crows the third time. (Mary A~n now suffers much, gags and retch­ es and says, "He denies Him.") At this moment the Apostle recalls the words he said to Our Lord, that, he would never, never, deny Him; yet at this moment he has denied Him. Oh such sorrow! Now they take Our Lord down the rocky, stony street. It seems more like cobble stones; they throw Him down. Oh, now where are they takin!? Him? 59. DUNGEON Eight soldiers with spears lead Him into sort of a damp, cold musty, narrow, dark corridor, path-way. Seems to be going down, 72
  • 74. down. They don't let Him walk. Seems to be water dripping from somewhere. They push Him and knock Him down. [he mob stays behind because they can't follow in this narrow passage. Some of them are sitting down. Now they are opening the door, and they are entering. They push Him right on His face into the slime. There are rats, skeletons from men; muck, mold, filth, stench. They jerk Him back up. He is now leaning up against a pillar, while they jab Him, mock Him, and the slime drips from Him. It is dripping from His hair, His beard, His face. They laugh at Him, they poke fun at Him. (Mary Ann explains. The dungeon is an underground, slimy, dark, dirty place where they have locked up their prisoners and those that have been condemned to death. They would put them in there and leave them until dead, and the bodies would decay in this slime, with rats and dirty green slimy water. It was always dripping in from above, making it very damp and dirty. This is where Thy Lord and God was taken to spend the rest of the night until morning. Mary Ann's suffering is most severe, she sinks and has to be ar­ oused.) They throw Him down, He goes on His knees, they poke Him with their spears. They are leaving now, except two of them who seem to stand guard. They fasten Him against the pillar. He is on His knees praying. His eyes are looking upward as He prays. They tantalize Him, they say evil things to Him. One of the guards,just to be nasty, sticks his spear into a dead rat and sticks it in front of Our Lord. They have thrown the spittle out of the pitcher in His face. Our Blessed Lady visions Our Lord at this time and Her heart is so heavy. He kneels down and prays; His eyes turn upward in prayer while they jeer and mock Him. He prays for them and for all those that have injured Him. (Mary Ann relaxes and seems to be praying.) 60. A LIGHT SHINES ON OUR LORD There is no light in this room, it is dark. He looks to the heavens and a beam of light seems to be coming from somewhere upon Him, all around Him. (Mary Ann looks with astonishment and sur­ prise and says, "My Lord and My God!, even the guards look as­ tonished at this light.") 74
  • 75. Even through all the mud, the slime, the muck, the dirt upon Him, His face looks beautiful. The swollen eyes, the bleeding mouth, the hole in His forehead where He had hit a rock, the mat­ ted slimy haiL still He looks beautiful as He prays, "Deus. Deus.'· He is not aware of anyone about Him, He is deep in prayer. Oh. His sad looking face, His swollen eyes, the matted slimy half: but be­ neath it all there is beauty. His face seems to change during these moments of prayer. 61. BREAK OF DAWN Now there is a light piercing through the little opening high above, streak of dawn. This seems to shine right upon Our Lord. The guard at the door has fallen asleep. More guards approaching, about ten or twelve, awaken Him, and they enter. It seems it is day­ light. They are taking Him out, out of this slimy, horrible dungeon. They push Him, do not let Him walk, sticking torches in front of His face. The evil one is amongst them. Oh, is he ugly! 62. EVIL ONE WITH COUNCILORS The first Councilor and second Councilor are with Him. They are dressed in their silk fineries. They do not lead Him out in kind­ ness. They jerk Him up, spear Him, push Him out through the door. They slam Him against the side of this narrow passage. Now at the end of the narrow passage they stop. They are taking off those wet, muddy, filthy mock clothes they had on Him. They untie His hands so He can dress Himself. He puts on His own muddy gown taken off before. The gown that grew with Our Lord's body from the time He was a boy. While He is doing that the mob is shoving Him. The evj,J one and the two Councilors are at the head of them. They take the crown off, and now are binding Him again with sha­ ckles. Oh, how pitiful He looks, how sad. Two of the Apostles are near Their Lord and Master. The youngest one of the two looks back towards the huge building and is 75
  • 76. now leaving. He is going back to be with the Beautiful Lady, Our Lord's Mother. He seems to feel that She is calling him, for there is a light shining from Her to him; as if they are united, or visualizing each others need. He goes to Her to give Her aid and comfort. The other Apostle stays with the crowd, in the background. This is the Apostle that had denied His Lord and Master. His face looks sad as tears stream from his eyes. He had denied His Lord and Master be­ cause of fear of the mob. He seems weighed down with the guilt of what he had done. He cannot keep his eyes off his Master, but stays in the background. Now they are going on again. They all join in the same group. They are going to a higher, large place. Oh Holy Mother, Blessed Mother. The holy women are crying. The one with the beautiful golden hair is on the right side of Our Holy Mother, and the tears are falling as she looks toward Our Lord and God, whose body is so beaten, bruised and bloody. Tears are falling from her eyes as she looks at His Mother, who is so pale and who has already aged so much. Looks so sad! Now the young Apos­ tle is supporting Her. She is preparing to leave with the youngest Apostle. He is trying it seems, to persuade Her to stay back. She shakes Her head and pushes forward, for She wants to be near Her Son. He puts his arm about Her shoulder and slowly they leave the upper chamber, with the one with the beautiful golden hair, also another. Several other women start to follow them, clasp their hands before them and retreat back as if in fear. Two of them fol­ low Her, and the youngest Apostle supports Our Holy Mother as they head towards the village. Oh Sorrowful Mother, Holy Mother, you are so weary, so weary. The mob, the·soldiers, they crowd and dance, throw rocks, mud, rags, sticks at Our Lord, they throw mud in His face. They are going over a sort of a bridge. They push Him off of it into the water. I don't know if it is a river or just a pool. They drag Him back out. They don't let Him on His feet, they jerk Him up. He tries to rise, but the two in the back pull Him down. The others, but oh, if they would only leave Him walk. If they could only leave Him in peace. He is back on His feet now, He is walking on, the bones protruding from His knees, the bones protruding from His elbows, 76
  • 77. the bone showing from His forehead above the left eye. The blood has hardened and crusted over His eyes. The ugly mob, the evil one shouting encouragement. Torture! The water has washed the grime off His face, but it has drenched His garments. Now they drag Him through the dust and dirt. He is so weak from all the torture and torments. Fresh blood runs, the old wounds are opened, new ones inflicted. They kick Him as He lays prostrated. Now they raise Him back up, then push Him down and they step on Him while He prays for them. They pull hands full of hairoutofHis head, and jerk at His beard. They don't let Him walk up the steps, they throw Him down. He bumps His head again. They half drag, half push Him down the steps. And now, there is the young Apostle, he is with Our Holy Mother and the two women. In the back there are other women, they are crying. Two of the women are supporting Our Holy Mother, for She is so weak, so sad. She feels all the pangs, all the pains that Her Divine Son suffered. She can feel all that they inflicted upon Him, the tortures. "Oh Heavenly Mother, how sad You look, how sorrowful, so pale. The tears are streaming from Your eyes." The Apostle is standing by Her, he is always near Her, and so are the two women. She could not bear it if it was not for them. She seems to slump into their arms, and the Apostle reaches out to help support Her. She watches Her Son being led by the same building where they had taken refuge to watch, so She could be near Her Son. They are entering a large courtyard. They are going up some steps to a large room. They drag Him up those steps, they don't let Him walk. Now they jerk Him up on His feet. 63. HIGH PRIEST OR GOVERNOR They enter this room, and in a large beautiful chair sits an Offi­ cial of some kind, High Priest or Governor, or someone of author­ ity. He is dressed in all his silk and finery. This beautiful chair is higher up than all the rest, like a throne. They stop before him. This Official looks down, and there seems to be a flicker of pity as he 77
  • 78. looks at the figure before him, this Human, but horrible looking Man, so disfigured. Hardly recognizable. He seems to be scolding the accusers. For this large Man before him is only a mockery of a man. His face a mess of potters mud, dried blood; a big gash on His forehead above the left eye, which penetrated so deeply where He was thrown against a rock. His hair, some pulled out, all matted, mud, dried blood. His beard, chunks jerked out, mud, blood, His eyes, swollen eyes, mud, blood. His eyes are only slits. His eye lashes filled with dried, crusted blood. His lips, lips that are parched, lips swollen, covered with dried blood. Wet streams of blood all over Him. He looks at Him with pity, and now he speaks to the accusers and the High Priest that brought this so called criminal before him. He doe~ not like what he sees. Now they are bringing Him up closer. "Thou, oh Sorrowful Mother, has visioned all this. Thy heart is so heavy as Thou doth see Thy Son so abused. Thy body feels the pains and abuses of Thy Son as You see the refuse and spittle they throw in Thy Son's face. It makes You grieve. The one with the golden hair supports Thee as the young Apostle is appraoching to help and guide Thee through this moment of sorrow. Oh Holy Mother, Thy face looks so sad." Our Holy Mother leaves the chamber with some of the holy women and the young Apostle to be near Her Son i,n this courtyard. The High Priest speaks loudly to the crowd from the balcony, as the crowd screams, CRU, CRU, CRU, or something like that. They do not care for his suggestions; they seem to want nothing of them. They are now sending Him on, pushing Him down the steps. The angry mob is pushing forward, accusing, yelling and scream­ ing. More and more accusers are entering, from all sides. The evil Apostle is urging and provoking accusations from the crowd, keeps encouraging the others into a frenzy, a more frenzied mob. Oh the hate, the evilness, the unjustness; such black hearts, such evil hearts! Our Lord looks upward and into the eyes of His accuser. His ac­ cuser is asking Him questions, accusing Him of things. He does not answer, He bows His head in such humility, in prayer. His lips seem to be always moving in prayer. 78
  • 79. Now they take Him away from the jeering, sneering multitude; oh, such faces, such looks, but amongst them are a few that do not like what they see, that have pity in their hearts, but they are only in the minority. The majority overrules. They take Him out of the room now to a side room. They throw water in His face to wash off some of the grime and dirt. He is now dripping wet. They are returning back to this High Official. In the meantime the High Official was having counsel with the two High Priests or Officers that came with them. The High Official now speaks to Our Lord. Our Lord answers him in a loud, firm, sincere voice. The most Divine looking face. A light seems to shine on Him, from where I cannot tell, but it is there. The crowd screams, they holler. Oh, the hatred, the venom that is coming from their lips. The crowd sneers, the crowd screams a cer­ tain word all the time, they are not satisfied, they want revenge. Our Lord bows His head, says nothing. They jerk Him about, some beat Him while He is standing there, some poke Him with the spears. Again this High Official speaks to Our Lord, again Our Lord an­ swers. Seems to say that He is justified in what He is doing, but they do not believe Him. They cannot come to a decision and the mob is screaming. They slap Him, they spit on Him. Now the Official seems to say something to the other Councilors. They speak, they seem to be dissatisfied, they have come to another decision. They are sending Him on again. As they leave the Governor, they do not let Him walk. This Governor looks at Him with anger. They jerk Our Lord around, He half rolls down the stairs, they hit Him, they kick Him. His head hits a big pillar again, the blood squirts from His wounds, runs in His eyes, He staggers, they drag Him down the street. They don't let Him walk. He falls, they jerk Him up, they kick Him, they beat Him, they spit on Him. They step on Him when He is down, they kick Him, they pull Him back on His feet. He bends over, and stumbles on His soaked wet garments. He is back up on His feet now. They prod Him on, they jab Him, they pull Him. (Mary Ann's face portrays pity, sadness, grief.) One of the soldiers ride against Him with his horse. It is the same soldier that took the robe off Our Lord at the gate. 79
  • 80. 64. HIGH OFFICIAL OR RULER Now they are entering another large room, coming to another High Official, and this man seems to be more of a ruler. He seems to have soldiers or an army of men beside him. He seems to look amused at what they are bringing before him. Oh so much hate, such a look of disgust that he gives Our Lord. With laughter and mockery in his eyes he seems to look at Our Lord. The Officials are again in conference; they don't seem to agree. He speaks to Our Lord, but Our Lord does not answer. He mocks Him. He says things to Him in ajeering way. Our Lord does not an­ swer the accuser. The accuser throws things at Him, the soldiers slap Him, they jeer at Him in hate, such hate. Our Lord does not answer, He stands before him with His head bowed. The accuser throws accusations at Him, the mob jabs Him, tries to make Him answer, He does not answer. This angers the Official, and he yells at Him angrily, his face darkens with rage. Our Lord still does not answer. A conference is held between the two Councilors and this Governor or Official. He is demanding, he shakes his fist and roars, commands. The Official turns again to Our Lord and sternly asks Him another question, yet Our Lord does not answer. At this the mob gets angrier, they pick up mud, rags and bring it in. They throw it at Him. 65. OUR LORD COVERED WITH A WHITE SACK The Official gets angry and sends Him into a side chamber, an ­ other narrow room. He picks up a white cotton sack, takes a large knife and cuts a hole in it. He strips it over Our Lord's head, over everything. They take a red piece of another garment and put that around His neck and tie it in back of Him. They hit Him with sticks and throw refuse in His face from containers standing there, human refuse. (Mary Ann suffers, gags, retches and sinks, has to be aroused.) They take a filthy rag and blindfold Him. They spit at Him, bow before Him, slap His face,jerk His beard, pull His hair, jab Him in the eyes with a cane-like stick. Now they jerk Him back 80
  • 81. out in front of this Governor or High Priest. They jab at Him again, now they jerk Him, try to make Him dance. They throw Him down on His face, they pull Him back up, they slap Him, they lead Him out again. They take His blindfold off, they remove the sack and hit Him across the face with it. They use the dirty white cloth they had over His eyes; they hit Him across the mouth, the ends slap into His . . eyes, causmg more pam. The crowd outside is getting wild, milling around. They are shouting, shouting, they are angry, they seem to want some action. They are not satisfied, this mob, such villains, they are screaming some words. The High Official sends Our Lord out as if he"wants to cleanse Him. Instead of cleansing Him, they throw more refuse and spittle on Him. With reeds and canes they poke into His wounds. 66. RAY OF LIGHT FROM OUR HOLY MOTHER TO OUR LORD "Oh, Blessed Mother, You look so sad, so broken." She stands back in the courtyard with the two women and the youngest Apos­ tle Who has his a"rms about Her shoulders as if supporting Her. She seems so tired, so weak, so sad. Her hands are clasped before Her. She turns Her eyes to the heavens as if pleading with God for strength for Her Son, as a ray of light comes from Her and seems to shine on Our Lord. This straightens out the shoulders of Her Divine Son as He stands so pitiful in front of this accusing mob. There are nine other women with Her, but two are closer to Her than the oth­ ers. Ifit were not for the Apostle, She would have fallen when She saw the refuse thrown into Her Son's face, and His face desecrated with the reeds with which they have pierced Him. (Again Mary Ann retches, gags, looks so disgusted.) They slap Him across His mouth, His eyes, both eyes and ears. 67. CRU, CRU, CRUCIFY They lead Him back into a large room. This Official Governor 81
  • 82. sticks a cane-like thing in His tied hands and sends Him out. They are going back the way they came to the other Governor or High Official. This High Authority, or whatever he is, goes with thelJ1. Again He is being dragged out, thrown down the stone steps. The mob is more angry, it is screaming, it is screaming the same word, CRUC, CRUC, CRUCIFY. They seem to want His life. 68. BACK TO HIGH PRIEST OR DIGNITARY They are back again to the same High Priest or Dignitary. He looks down upon Our Lord, it seems in fear and pity as if he would like to turn and run. Yes, he is afraid. This Official seems worried, he shakes his head, but now he gathers control and speaks firmly to those that are leading Our Lord. Again the Councilor pulls Him aside and seems to be saying something to him. They are giving him a small parchment that the Governor or Official handed him to give to him. He shakes his head as if in disgust, and walks to the balcony. He looks down on the screaming mob, he seems to want to say something to them, but his words are drowned out with screams, screams of CRU, CRU, CRU. He comes back, he calls to Our Lord, he takes Him to an inner chamber and speaks to Him. He asks Him a question. Our Lord looks at him through His eyes matted with blood. Our Lord answers in a firm, very sincere voice. Again he asks Him a question, again He answers in the same firm voice. Whatever statement Our Lord just made, there seems to be a flicker of fear in the eyes of this Dig­ nitary, but he quickly composes himself. 69. PILATE'S SPOUSE PLEADS FOR OUR LORD The spouse of this High Priest pulls him into a side chamber. She falls on her knees and begs and pleads with this High Dignitary. There is great concern on his face as she pleads with him and shakes her head, tears streaming down her face. She does not like what her spouse has permitted to happen to this Man. She begs him, she 82
  • 83. pleads with him, but he stands there without emotion of one kind or another. There seems to be a light of fear in his eyes as he looks toward the door where this beaten Man stands but as he glances over the raging mob, the screaming mob, he walks back and forth, while the spouse follows him, pleading, pleading. The spouse again grabs his arm, again she pleads, she points to the mob. She points in another direction, she begs him, she goes down on her knees, beg­ ging him, pleading with him. She clings to his right leg, he pushes her away, shakes his head, it seems reluctantly, but he goes out agam. 70. THE DARK, THE EVIL ONE The High Official goes back and talks to the two Councilors who were with him the evening before and are now with the dark one. He is wringing his hands, waiting for some decision. He seems to have fear and greediness in his eyes, as he looks at them with a false smile on his face. They are speaking loudly. They seem to be dis­ agreeing, while below the balcony the crowd is screaming, scream­ ing, CRUC, CRUC, CRUC. They are lunging forward, throwing, screaming, screaming. While the guards mock Him, they jerk Our Lord back and forth, slapping the ropes against His face, laughing at Him, spitting on Him. 71. PILATE'S SPOUSE PLEADS AGAIN While the High Priest and the Officials are still disputing, the spouse of this Official is walking back and forth, her hands clasped. She seems to be praying in the inner chamber, walking back and forth, tears streaming down her face. She does not like what she sees. The raging mob is screaming, screaming. She looks out of the door down upon this Victim of a Man so badly bruised, so badly beaten. She sees the guards abuse Him. She does not like what she sees. She leaves and throws herself at the feet of her spouse and pleads for Our Lord and God. She pleads, and speaks of the conse­ 84
  • 84. quences. He seems reluctant, but then he hears the screaming mob, screaming, screaming; so he swiftly turns around while she clings to his garments, pleading, pleading. It seems in vain. This Official walks out on a sort of balcony overlooking the crowd. They scream the same, they holler. Oh, but the crowd cheers him on, and his face hardens. So he again speaks to Our Lord, and Our Lord seems to be saying something in the humble, sweet voice of His, and His eyes turn heavenward, and then back to His accuser. His accuser walks toward the crowd who are down below, seems to be in a large courtyard, or as the Ancients seemed to have in those days. It is different than what I am accustomed to. But oh, the look, the look in their faces. They seem to be screaming, only one word seems to ring out, it sounds like CRUC, CRUCIFY HIM. I am not sure though, yes, CRUC something. Oh, they have reached some sort of a decision. The High Official goes over where his spouse has knelt down to pray. He looks at her with pity and compassion in his eyes as he walks back to the side of the room behind her, and' he likes not what he hears outside from the screaming crowd. They are jerking Our Lord down the stairs. As He rolls, He strikes His head. He is being led away. Oh, oh, where are they tak­ ing Him? Oh, oh, no! 72. OUR HOLY MOTHER HEARS PILATE'S DECISION TO HAVE OUR LORD SCOURGED Now there seems to be a vision of Our Holy Mother. Oh, the sor ­ row in Her eyes, the love, the understanding. Her face has turned so ghastly white. She is hanging on to one of the other women who is with Her, who has been with Her. "Oh, Dear Blessed Mother!" The sorrow is so great as She visions, yes, it is the vision She has of Her own Son. She seems to have fainted. Oh, Holy Mother! The Apos­ tle has picked Her up. Oh, how sad She looks as She hears the deci­ sion that they have made. She collapses. Oh, Sorrowful Mother, You have witnessed all this. You are in the back seeing it all. Your heart is heavy as You are leaning upon 85
  • 85. the two women, and the youngest Apostle is supporting You also. Your eyes are pleading with the Father in Heaven to let you suffer, while Your Son stands there in front of the accuser, unrecogniza­ ble. He does not look like Your Son. His eyes are closed with mat ­ ted blood. His beard has chunks of hair pulled from it. There are gashes all over His face. His knees, the flesh is torn off, the bone is protruding. The ropes have cut into His flesh where they have bound Him so tight, the water has tightened them. All this is caus­ ing Him anguish. And You, Dear Mother, have witnessed it all. The arrow has pierced Your heart. You are weakened with sorrow. (Mary Ann suffers, her expression is one of anguish, pity, and sorrow.) The ray of light that is shining on You is giving You strength. "Oh, Holy Mother!" She has now entered the courtyard from the side street. She is looking at Her Son so badly beaten and bruised. The one with the beautiful golden hair and some of the women and the youngest Apostle are supporting Her, so gently, so kindly. The one with the golden hair is weeping and looking so sad at Our Holy Mother, while Our Holy Mother is clinging to the other one that is so close to Her. There are two women closer to Her than some of the rest; the one with the golden hair and the one with darker hair. They are standing in an opening, looking across the courtyard, where, they have now taken Our Lord by a strange looking pil1ar or post. The tears are streaming down Her face. She looks so pale, so sad and so pressed down it seems, with a heavy weight as She glan ­ ces toward Her Son, Her arms reaching towards Him. Their eyes meet and She leans back against the young Apostle as he so gently supports Her. He is trying to take Her out the side gate so She need not see this cruelty. They are jerking Him down the stairs, down on those sore knees, on His face. They jerk Him down, then up on His feet. They are leading Him out into a large courtyard, and You, Holy Mother, are standing in the back, watching. 86
  • 86. 73. THE EVIL ONE URGES THE TORMENTORS ON Even the evil one, the twelfth one, is in the crowd looking on, but he stays in the back. He seems to be troubled. The evil one is still trying to urge some of the tormentors on. He has a very strange looking face. He seems to be urging and urging them on, while some of the tormentors are trying to prod Him on, mocking Him and making fun of Him. I now see a pillar. Near the top of it, is a large ring. 74. STRIPPING OF HIS GARMENTS ­ OUR HOLY MOTHER INTERCEDES FOR THE LOIN CLOTH They are stopping here. Our Lord is tired. He leans against the pillar. They are untying His hands now. They seem again to be or­ dering Him to remove His clothing, His garments. They angrily jerk them off. They are now removing His garments, stripping them rudely off of Him. Our Holy Mother is interceding, for they cannot remove the loin cloth. When they grasp it, their hands jerk away and a look of fear comes into their eyes as a light shines between Our Holy Mother and Her Son. Our Holy M.2!..her collapses Lr.u!!e arms of the you.Eg A ostle. The scourgers seem to fly back in aston­ ishment as if they were receiving a shock from the cloth. Others try it, but they also fail. "Oh, Holy Mother, oh Sorrowful Mother, Thy face has aged since the day before when You met Your Son in the village, when You both em braced each other with such love. The beauty is gone, age has taken its place. Lines of grief and sorrow have taken their toll in Thy beautiful face. Thy eyes with tears streaming down, looking at Thy Son so pitiful, so abused." A few of the holy women are standing about Her, their hands clasped in prayer, tears streaming as they are watching the Son of thisJ:l.Qly Woman being so rudely jffked abou!, abused sJapped; the soldiers trying to remove the loin cloth. While this is taking place, the evil one is slinking back toward the Councilors and those that he has searched out to betray this so beaten and cruelly abused Man. He is 87
  • 87. trying to return the coins to them, but they only laugh at him. He seems to despair as he looks toward His Lord and Master, Whom he has betrayed. Our Lord looks upon him with pity and compas ­ sion. When this happens, the evil one squirms in desperation. 75. OUR LORD TIED TO THE PILLAR They are fastening ropes around His hands again, fastening ropes through this large ring to the pillar. (Mary Ann raises arms to indicate how He is being tied.) As they stretch Him up, it is so high, Our Lord can barely touch the ground with His toes. Now they are tying His hands together. They are fastening them to the large ring. His body sags, as He dangles with the full weight on His wrists. He is so exhausted from all the abuse. (Mary Ann also seems complete ­ ly exhausted, and has to be aroused.) 76. THE SCOURGING-FIRST SCOURGERS There are some scourgers coming. Two husky, big men, are beat ­ ing Him, scourging Him. It is too horrible to describe. The welts are raising at each stroke. The crowd is laughing. Oh, how can they? Some women are weeping. Our Holy Mother is way back. Oh, every blow that falls on Her Son seems to fall on Her. She is so white, so pale, She seems to be pleading in Her prayers. The Apostle is trying to turn Her away from it, but She reaches out Her arms towards Him, Her Son, to try to spare Him this. They are using, oh, sort of clubs with some funny things on them, strange looking, hard sticks-like, with leather bound on them, that is what it looks like. Every blow brings out big, blue welts. Our Lord's body turns, twists, turns, twists, turns and twists; scourgers strike Him from one side, then the other. The first side again, then the other side. (Mary Ann clasps both hands, strikes herself on one side of her face, then the other, increasing the blows as the scourg­ ing becomes more severe. FinaHy in exhaustion she sinks, prayers 88
  • 89. are said by those present, she is called, and returns to conscious­ ness.) Our Holy Mother c_ollaps~!0he arms of the Apostle as She watches the first scourgers, the welts as they rise on H is body. The first two are tired. 77. SECOND SCOURGERS There are two more now. They have something else in their hands, knotty looking clubs with something fastened to them. They are waiting their turn with impatience. Now the second scourgers are coming forth, Our Lord glances toward His Mother. She faints as the Apostle, no, She didn't faint, She is only weakened from what She is seeing. Oh how pale, She seems to have shrunk, become smaller from the weight that is on Her chest. Her heart is so heavy and bleeds for Her Divine Son. The second two start. Oh, the brutes, they are breaking His skin open with each blow. Every blow they take, bursts the skin. 78. THIRD SCOURGERS The third group is now taking over. They are breaking the flesh, ripping it off. They have thong-like, queer looking things. They are holding sort of cat-of-nine tails that have little metal hooks, like corners, points on them. It's awful, ripping off the flesh! Every blow takes chunks of flesh out, clear to the bones. I can see parts of the ribs. (Mary Ann suffers greatly at this time. With both hands clasped, and with a rhythmic motion, she strikes her forehead and face, first one, then the other. The force and rapid motion, along with the suffering, causes extreme fatigue. She loses consciousness and has to be aroused many times during this period.) The blood squirts all over the scourgers face and arms, but it doesn't stay there. It seems to have disappeared. The blood has vanished, no blood, it is all gone. AI}gels ale catching the blood of Q~r Lord and 90~. There is no blood on the bodies of the scourgers. Q!!rJ:!oly_Mother 90
  • 90. h'ls coJlapsed in the arms of th~.Apostle. The holy women are crying and wringing their hands, "Oh, Blessed Mother, Oh, Holy Mother." The blood squirts and there are nearly 5,I~O~s. Blood was streaming from Him, squirting on the scourgers, all over their arms and faces, then it is gone. S_om~ invisible hand has re­ moved it all, even the blood from the pillar. An Angel is wiping !JP t~)lo..9d. Only Our Lord's body is stiUcoveredWithblood. No~ th~Y-9.uit, oh, theY_.9..':Iit. Our Lord is hanging by His hands, sagging down with all His weight on the wrists of His hands as He is so weakened from the scourging. He is not supporting Himself with His feet. On~ of the s~rgers now walks over a~d cuts Him loose. He falls in a heap to the floor. 79. EVIL ONE REALIZES HIS MISTAKE Evil one does not like what he sees, he seems to want to change what he has done. The evil one, during the period of taking down Our Lord from the pillar, has regretted and feels sorry; for he had not seemingly counted on this, for he looks in a fearful, pitiful way towards His Lord and God, Whom he has betrayed; for this the thirty pieces of silver that he holds in his hand. 80. OUR HOLY MOTHER SHARES HIS SUFFERING Blessed Mother, Oh Blessed Mother, such sorrow, Queen of Sor ­ rows! Our Holy Mother looks so pale. Her body shakes with sobs. She seems to have lost all strength to stand. The Apostle is support­ ing Her completely, and the one with the beautiful hair is wiping Her tears. She herself is also sobbing. The crowd continues to jeer and sneer, even after seeing the ripped and bloody mess Our Lord's body has become from the scourging. Our Holy Mother's weak ­ ened condition seems to cause great concern. She is so sad, for She also feels the pains of the blows of the scourgers. There are places on His body where you can see the bones protrude. Parts of the 91
  • 91. flesh have been torn out, ev_el!- pieces of flesh have fallen to t~e ground, which hay"e~sQ......<:lisappeared. There is a light shining above Our Lord, Whose body has not one i~h of solid or untouched fle~h, the only place is where the loin cloth has protected Him. It is either all welts or broken skin with even some chunks of flesh hanging open. They now so roughly jerk off the bands from Our Lord's wrists, and rudely replace some of the garments. 81. THE MOCK CROWNING "Holy Mother, Thy heart is heavy, tears streaming from Your beautiful eyes." They are now leading Him back, to the side, to a stool, or it looks more like a cut-off pillar. They are placing Our Lord on a stool wi!h nails and briars on it. Some of the thorns pierce His body, enter His wounds, also His buttocks. They rudely push Our Lord upon it. He is so exhausted every musde in His body quivers from the agonizing pain the scourgers have inflicted upon His body, for they show no mercy toward Him. The blood is run­ ning down the side of the stool from the wounds they have inflicted upon Him. 82. THE EVIL ONE TRIES TO RETURN THE COINS Oh the evil one, the betrayer, he is arguing with the Councilors. Seems to be begging them for something, and they are laughing at him. They are pushing him, they are making fun of him and he is getting more desperate and more desperate aB the time. His eyes are wild as they are all laughing and mocking him and he screams in despair. Now he gives back to them the same leather looking pouch. They seem to refuse it, he is begging them, pushing it at them, and they are laughing, they are jeering at him, and now they become angered. They give him a push. He falls in the dust on his face, and as he tries to get up, both of them kick him in the back, again he lands on his face, a dirty, dusty, mess. 93
  • 92. They laugh at him; they kick him down inlo the dirt and dust. They walk over him; they stomp him. Over him they throw, yes, it's coins scattered all over him, and again they give him a kick and laugh and turn away, brushing their hands as they do so. And now the evil one gets up, all the cockiness, the defiance, the jeers and snickers have aU left his ugly betraying face, as he whimpers and looks towards Our Lord. It seems this was more than what he bar ­ gained for, and it seems to drive him into despair. He wrings his hands, he pulls his hair, he goes to the bystanders, he greets them. They laugh at him, they turn their backs towards him. He tries some others, they all do the same. He wrings his hands and runs off. He seems to get smaller, he seems to shrivel, his eyes seem to shrink, his mouth drools, his teeth grit, he pulls his hair, he raises his hands in clenched fists, as he seems to be screaming, screaming. There is such a darkened glow of evilness that comes from him as he disappears before those to whom he has sold his Master. He looks toward Our Lord, whimpers and cringes, again turns towards the ones he has bargained with earlier, again they turn their backs and only laugh, while the evil one walks away. All during this peri­ od Our Lord lies prostrated at the post or pillar. Now Our Lord is placed upon a stool. They have twisted some thorns into a huge cir­ cle. During this period the evil one walks away looking very desper ­ ate. He does not like what he has done. He has lost the friends that he thought were friends, he has found out that he has made a mistake. He has turned on his Master, Our Lord, he has joined Satan. Now he turns and goes down a side street. He flees toward the ra­ vine, his eyes wild, hair standing up, face dirty from the dust, screams like a mad man. He resembles a mad man. Now he runs, he runs, runs, runs, faster, faster, faster, faster out into the open. Satan is riding on his shoulders. He runs, he runs, he pulls his hair, he drops from exhaustion. He falls, he gets up, he looks back as ifin fear. He runs, he falls, he gets up. He looks back. Fear, fear, fear, something is driving him on, something, something, it seems so dark, so black all about him. Now he is going, oh, oh, oh, he is re­ movinga rope he has wound around his waist. I guess it was to keep his garments in place. He seems to remove this, he is by a precipice. 94
  • 93. His evil face has turned to blackness as he stands at the top of the precipice. He hangs himself with the rope from his own garment. Oh, he is dangling from the precipice, he is gone, the betrayer, he is lost forever. 83. OUR LORD IS CROWNED WITH THORNS Two men coming with reeds, long branches with thorns. They have twisted the thorns into a circle. Oh, they are making a crown out of it. Now they are placing these thorns around the head of Our Lord. One of the men is sticking a reed-like object in the back and twisting it tight. Oh, the blood is squirting forth and runs all over His face, streaming into His eyes, His already swollen eyes. They take reeds and pound the crown of thorns onto Our Lord's head. (Mary Ann's head moves from side to side, her facial expression is one of severe torture and agony.) The crowd is not satisfied, and still scream CRU. The Apostle takes Our Holy Mother off to a side street. She is so tired after witnessing the scourging and crowning of Her Divine Son. He is administering to Her and comforting Her. 84. A PURPLE CLOAK They are putting on, no, they are taking off the garment, and with it they jerked off the crown. Now two men are bringing another dirty robe, too short for Him, a red, blood-stained, purplish look­ ing, reddish mantle-like cloak, putting it on Him around His shoul­ ders and fastening His hands with a rope. They are putting the crown back on, jabbing it on. Oh, one of the men took a cane-like reed, and is beating it over the thorns, the crown, sinking it deeper into His head. They are sticking a reed into His hands. Now they are taking Him back to the High Official. They are bringing Him in now to a sort of balcony, with His hands tied be­ fore Him and a reed stuck in His hands. Oh, what a pitiful looking Man, the blood streaming down His face, His beautiful face. 95
  • 95. (Mary Ann extends her hands down in front of her, crosses her left hand over the right and says "ECCE HOMO".) 85. ··ECCE HOMO" (Behold The Man) Crowd screams loudly around Our Lord as He stands so pitiful, so humbly before the High Priest or High Official. The Official seems to be saddened or frightened by what he sees. The High Offi­ cial tells them and points towards the enclosure. They are now re­ leasing some prisoners. Crowd screams, they do not seem to accept this, they keep dancing and poking Our Lord. Our Lord looks over the crowd with love and compassion. They are pushing Him in front of this High Official, this one that seems to have fear and still hatred for Him. He looks at Him with pity, yes, and even fear. He seems to be afraid, for whom he sees before him seems to frighten him. He seems to feel sorry for Our Lord as He stands before him, such a pitiful sight, a purple robe too short for Him, a rope around His hands, a reed in His ha~d, a crown of thorns on His head. Yet in the eyes of Our Lord is only love, love for all of us. Yes, the accuser feels sorry for Him. He would like to change his mind, so it seems, but oh, the mob is still screaming, screaming, screaming. They are not satisfied with what they are shown. 86. HIGH OFFICIAL'S SPOUSE AGAIN PLEADS FOR OUR LORD The spouse of this High Official looks with compassion and pity upon this Man Who stands in mockery before her spouse. He is a sorrowful and pitiful looking sight, blood running all over His face. The wounds that the crown has inflicted, His swollen eyes, His swollen lips. She calls to her spouse, it seems she is pleading with him. The crowd, the mob hears this and they scream, they scream, they scream. The spouse of the High Official is telling him something, point­ 97
  • 96. ing towards another building. She is pleading with him, she is pleading, she is pleading. The High Offical shrugs his shoulder and shakes his head. He seems uncertain what to do, as he looks ~ith pity and fear down upon Our Lord in this mocking, dirty, purple robe too short for Him. 87. RELEASE OF PRISONER But oh, no he must sho~ his authority. The High Official is walk­ ing towards the edge of the balcony where he can see over the court­ yard. He is talking to the mob where the multitude is screaming CRUCIFY, it sounds like that. They seem to want His life. There are also other prisoners there, too. They are releasing a prisoner, criminal, thief, or murderer; but still they scream on, they are not satisfied. 88. OUR LORD PRAYS CONSTANTLY He only stands there with bowed head, and prayers are always on His lips. He is praying, such a sorrowful, pitiful looking Man. Ifwe people here on earth could see Him now, we would quit sin­ ning. We could not sin and look at Him and know that He is suffer­ ing for us. Oh, if man here on earth would only try to look at Him, t and to know, that He has suffered so much humiliation, every kind of abuse. 89. HIGH OFFICIAL WASHES HIS HANDS They are still screaming. The High official angrily seems to be saying something, pointing down at Our Lord as if to say he has condemned Him, and he points towards Calvary. He gestures as if to say, He is yours. There is a basin of water and a pitcher, and now he walks to the pitcher and after the thief is released, washes his hands. (Mary Ann makes the motions as if washing her hands.) His 98
  • 97. spouse stands in the doorway of a small cham ber, shaking her head in disgust and discouragement. She does not like what her spouse has done. 90. FIRST STATION-CONDEMNED (Mary Ann extends her arms.) The evil forces, they are not satis- fied, they want more, more. The sickening crowd, more and more accusers are entering from all sides, they are screaming CRUCIFY, CRUCIFY, CRUCIFY, on and on. They seem to want His life. It looks like they are winning, they have won again. This High Offi- cial lets them go, he consents, he also leaves. They are taking Our Lord out. He tries to walk, H~~lls, and ~lley jerk Him up. He stumbles and they jerk Him up, jabbing Him, pushing Him. They don't give Him a chance to walk, they _kick Him. They pull on the ropes and jerk Hlmone way andthe other. They push Him, now they jerk Him back, down into the courtyard. They push Him down on the stool, they spit on Him, they slap Him, they jerk His garments off, the mock garments, and with that they pull off the crown of thorns. (Mary Ann is suffering intensely, she sinks and has to be aroused.) 91. RECROWNING They have to re-crown Him again. New wounds are inflicted. Fresh blood squirts forth from'them. The accusers are again using reeds and canes to press down the crown deep in His already sore, wounded head. They poke the cane or reed into the wound in His legs. They have replaced the mock garments with His white robe. (Mary Ann's suffering is again most severe, she sinks and is called back to consciousness.) 92. THE CROSS Who is that coming? There are five men coming, they are ~ry­ 99
  • 98. " ::0 (J) -l (J) -l ~ o z (J) (") o z o m ~ Z m o -l o o m ~ -l I
  • 99. ing something very heavy, J cannot see what it is. - Oh yes, a huge cross. There are five men carrying a large cross. A huge timber-like, sort oflike a cross shape. I'm not sure, but it looks like it could be fourteen or fift~~.!!....f~ng.The cross beam oh, I might say eight feet, maybe longer. It takes five men to carry it. 01 These are large men. It is roughly hewn, I would-judge aboutfour in~hes thick, three'or four, no, sooner four. They are walking towards where Our Lord is standing, as the group is returning the crown back on Our Lord's head. They are leading Our Lord to it. They are pointing at it. They are dropping the cross in front of Our Lord. (Mary Ann leans forward, her body trembles, her hands are clenched tight together, she sinks and has to be aroused.) 93. SECOND STATION-OUR LORD ACCEPTS THE CROSS ( There seems to be an expression of happiness, or joy, in Our ) Lord's face as He drops down on His knees and venerates it. ),. This ll1Q!I1ent~rilyastonishes the soldiers about Him, for He kiss­ I es the Cro~s. But the soldiers can't stand that. They jerk J-f1m back and up on His feet and tell Him to pick up the Cross. He tries, it is so h~vy, it !ook five men to carrYit, and they expect Our Lord to carry italone. He picks it up, oh, but the weight of it, He staggers, He falls down, they jab Him with spears. They seem to be in a hurry, He tries again, He places the heavy Cross on His right shoulder. He is trembling, He is staggering as He tries to rise. He stoops over under t~trem_e~_eigh!9fthe Cr9ss. He straightens-up. The cross beam is tied on with a rope. (Mary Ann suffers as if a heavy weight was bearing down on her shoulders.) 94. THE THIEVES They are bringing two other criminals or unwanted men. They are pushing them next to Our Lord, giving them blocks to carry. A young boy is carrying a sign or an inscription. The letter I, they are 101
  • 101. moving in my way, seems to be N, then R, and an I. Other words too, that seem to be in a strange language. They are leaving the courtyard, they seem to be starting down a narrow street. Oh Sorrowful Mother! Our Holy Mother is following on the side streets so She can be near Her Son. There are nine holy women and the Apostle with Her. She stops, looks in the direction of Her Son Who is going down a side street or alley. They strike Our Lord's head so that the thorns pierce deeper where the Cross hits as they jerk Him back and forth. 95. RIDER ON WHITE HORSE The rider on the white horse, keeps walking his horse, trying with the horse to push Our Lord against the cross beams, and it jars Our Lord and causes Him to fall on His knees. They jerk Him back up again. The High Officials are riding ahead on horses, the mob is gathered all around, the soldiers are next to Our Lord, with every­ one else following, weeping women, sneering soldiers. There seem to be two different kinds of soldiers, they are dressed so qu € e r, short coats or dress up to their knees, with sort of sandals on their feet, bare legs, helmets, spears in their hands. There are others on horses, some on foot in different dress. Some are dressed like the Apostles. Oh yes, the Apostles are lingering in the back, one of them is crying. 96. THIRD STATION-OUR LORD FALLS UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE CROSS They have fastened a rope to the bottom of the Cross.~y_~!.e s~~~lp carry it, but in~heY'-p-ull back and forth on it. They jerk and make the load heavier. There are two ahead, that is, the scourgers who pull forward, while the two behind JllI!!.J2.ack which causes the arm of the Cross to bang against the thorns, and causes, oh so much pain. Jabbing and pushing, He staggers under the load. They are jerking~ forward, He stumbles, but the back­ 103
  • 103. w~dj~~~ keeps Him from falling. His garments help trip Him, as He is bent over with the weight of the Cross, causing Him to stum­ ble and fall on His knees, which are already so sore, the knee bone is protruding. The weight of the Cross as they jerk it back and forth, cuts into His shoulder. Our Lord is weakening fromthe weight of the Cross. The weight pushes it forward on the shoulder of Our Lord. He trembles, He quivers with the weight; and now, oh now, ( He falls down on His face. Our Lord lies prostrate while the soldiers ) step on Him. (Mary Ann suffers greatly. Her body slumps forward, forward, forward, then slowly comes back to its normal position.) Thy Lord and God falls with the weight of the Cross because of the constant pressure that is put upon It from the sins of the world; and also by those that are walking with Him, the accusers who are tug­ ) ging and pulling ~backward ~nd fo~rd on the Cross, making it very difficult. They spear Him under the armpits to make Him rise, they strike Him across His crown, even jab Him in the soles of His feet, also the calf of His leg. They jab Him, they spit at Him, they slap His face, they kick Him in the face, pull His hair. They poke Him in His eyes. They eV~J~.~_t their feet on His head as He tries to rise. They pull Him u , they j~k Him b~ down. He is back up on His feet now, trying to carry the-heavy load. As they jerk Him, the Cross causes great pain on His shoulder, which causes Him great anguish, and weakens His strength. He is getting wearier and wearier. He walks on as they prod Him~h their spears, torment Him. They jerk and they push, the pull on the ropes, He is staggenng on. He is so weary, so weak, He is tired, the blood streaming down His face, blinds His eyes. 97. FOURTH STATION-OUR LORD MEETS HIS AFFLICTED MOTHER And now He meets His Mother. Oh, Our Holy Mother, She is waiting for Him at the side street. Oh, how sad She looks to see Her Son's face so swollen, bloody, His matted hair. "Oh, Sorrowful Mother, oh Holy Mother." (Mary Ann's lips move as in prayer. Those present pray the "SORROWFUL MOTHER PRAYER".) 105
  • 104. Oh Sorrowful, oh Heavenly Mother, Thy Heart was pierced through when You stood beneath the Cross of Thy Divine Son Who died to redeem man. The anguish, the pain and sorrow You suffered for man. Oh Sorrowful, oh Heavenly Mother, again Thy Heart is pierced with anguish and sorrowfor man has forgotten the Crucifixion, the death of Their Lord and what it stands for. They continue on their wayward ways while Thy Heart is piercedfor love ofthem. Oh Sor­ rowful, oh Heavenly Mother, pierce my heart of stone and fill its veins with pure blood of love for My Lord and My God, Whom I have neglected, Whose Wounds I have renewed. Take me beneath Thy mantle, oh Heavenly Mother, protect me, gUide me so I cannot go astray and hurt Thy Divine Son andpierce Thy Heart with Sor­ row, oh Heavenly Mother. Amen. And now one of the soldiers is approaching on a white horse. In front of him is the robe they took away from Our Lord as He came out of the garden of Gethsemane. Oh! Holy Mother, the holy women are with Her, the young Apostle is by Her side. He has his arm about Her to support Her. As Our Lord approaches She runs forward with Her arms extend € d . Their eyes meet, oh such love, such love; they seem to speak, but Their eyes speak more than Their lips. Oh, what greater love can exchange in the human eye as that of Our Blessed Mother and Our ) Lord, Our God and Redeemer. The greatest love one ever can see is shown in the eyes of Our Lord and His Holy Mother. She, in Her heart, would like to take all the suffering away from Her Son, and He knows this is in His Mother's heart. He looks at Her with kind ­ ness and love and thanks Her for offering Herself to take His place. Oh, Our Holy Mother, how sorrowful, how sad. The tears are streaming down Her face. She drops Herself on Her knees in front I f ) of Her Son. It is so sad to see His face so bruised while She looks at Him with tears streaming from Her eyes. Oh Holy Mother, Thy heart is pierced with sorrow. The Apostle is standing by Her, sup ­ ). porting Her with his arm. The one with the beautiful golden hair is kneeling at the side of Our Holy Mother, supporting Her with both hands. Our Holy Mother is so weak. 106
  • 106. It all seems to take the soldiers by surprise, for they only seem to look and now a soldier grabs Her. Th~ soldiers can't stand this, they rudel shove Her backward for they could not see this love between Mother and Son, so they rudely push Her aside and motion for the group to continue to go on. She falls back into the arms of the Apos­ tle who quickly supports Her, tenderly takes and leads Her on. She slowly walks away bent over with sadness and pain in Her heart for Her Son. The Apostle and the two women and Our Holy Mother go back down the side street the way they came. They go on, She looks so sad, She is so weak as She sees Her afflicted Son. Oh, what anguish is greater than to have a Mother stand and look at Her Son Who is so bruised, so torn of flesh, so weak with the weight of the sins upon His shoulders; for She knows He is not 1 carryingjust the Cross that seems to be before Her, but He is carry­ , ing the Cross, the sins of the World that we people inflict upon , Him. Yes, every stumble He has made, seems to be a stumble that we make in our daily lives, in our sins. Yes, the spits and the kicks, ) and the abuses, yes, are what we give Him daily. So He carries them ( for us, yes, Our Lord, the Son of God, to cleanse us when we need Him most, and the Mother stands with a bleeding heart, a heart pierced with an arrow. A heart so heavy, so sad. Oh Holy Mother, how sad, how heavy Your heart is. They go on, Our Lord goes on. This scene has angered some of the mob. So now they viciously pounce on Him again. They strike , ~,no, they mu_st p!:!sh Him, they must throw Him so it takes all , His effort to keep on His feet. Oh yes, the Cross cuts-into His shou-l­ der, oh so deep, oh so deep. Our Lord goes on. They strike across the crown of thorns, for they know that hurts Him. They gouge at His face, they slap Him across His mouth, they pull His hair, they throw dust and dirt in His face. They jab at His feet, they trip Him, He goes down on His knees, and the crown that is on His head strikes against the Cross and as they jerk Him, the thorns sink deeper and deeper into His head. He is ( growing weaker and weaker, He tries to get up but His garments trip Him. He is stooped over so low with the weight of the Cross and ) the loss of blood, the abuse, the lack of sleep, it all has taken a great toll. 108
  • 107. The sins that are inflicted on His shoulders, that we men on earth cause Him to carry, the sins of the World, are so heavy! Every time we sin we inflict upon Him one of these wounds. Oh, the sorrowful, pitiful looking Man. Our Lord, Our God has suffered so much for the sins of man. He is so weak, He is not only sweating, but there seems to be blood mingled with it, Oh, His eyes are blinded with blood that is running into them. It is matting the beard on His face. They are dosing from the aches, the swelling; oh, how battered is His face, and yet with every jab, every jeer, He just whispers prayers, prayers are always on His lips. Yes, now they are going. The~e seems to be a ~eaJied look a~~n~ some of the evil ones. They are getting frightened, alarmed, f~r He trembles, Hj.§ knees buckle, but He w~lks on; oh the tremen­ dous weight upon Him. Yes, but oh, what are they doing now. 98. FIFTH STATION-A LARGE MAN IS FORCED TO HELP CHRIST CARRY THE CROSS Oh, there is a large man, they are pushing him forward out of the crowd, shoving him towards Our Lord. He hesitates for a moment, draws back, he seems to be frightened, afraid, but they push him forward, and he looks at Our Lord with love and pity in his heart. (Mary Ann's expression is one of concern but seems pleased when the man is trying to help Our Lord.) He feels sorry for Our Lord, he walks up, yes, he is going to help Our Lord shoulder the Cross. He lifts the end of the Cross, but that only adds weight on Our Lord's shoulder and causes Him to fall on His knees; instead of making the Cross lighter, he is actually making it heavier. Our Lord is Still c~rying most oftheweight, for t~man would have to be five men to carry the ~~lone. He would have to be five more,-fOrthe weight IS so tremendous. (The Cross was 15 feet long, a foot wide /j?A and 4 inches thick of dense ha-rd wood, with a cross beam tied to it - ­ that was about 8 feet long.) This Cross is so heavy, for they make it heavier b their ushing, by their jerking. - . They push Him on, Our Lord falISOIl"His knees. The man helps 109
  • 109. Him up, he gently lifts Him, helps Him up. For His weakened con­ dition is now showing very much. Our lord still carries the heaviest part as they push Him. The mob is anxious to get going, they seem to be afraid that Our Lord is weakening, and He cannot carry it, for they have some distance to go. The steepest part of the hill is still left. The hill is not far before Him. Oh, if they wouldn't always trip Him, and jab Him, He is so weak, so tired, so thirsty. His mouth is so dry, the only liquid He has had is His own blood. Oh, He is trem­ bling, the weight is bearing Him down, He trips on His own gar­ ments, He tried to hold it up with His left hand, but He stumbles. 99. SIXTH STATION-OUR LORD GIVES VERONICA AN IMAGE OF HIS HOLY FACE Now there seems to be a woman coming from the side street, coming from one of the houses. Yes, a woman with love in her eyes and heart. Oh, yes, she has a large shawl or sort of a towel that she throws over her arm. No, she quickly changes her mind and puts it over her head like a shawl or veil. She runs quickly, pushes through the crowd, right out to Our Lord. (Mary Ann gestures wiping her face as the lady is wiping the face of Our Lord.) So kind, so kind, Oh how beautiful, she wipes His sorrowful face, His bloody face, with the towel or shawl. The mud, the blood, she wipes it clean, to the seeming astonishment of the soldiers. This is all taking place so quickly that the soldiers only stand momentarily looking on as if surprised. They don't seem to get a grip on themselves to interfere. How beautiful! She smiles at Our Lord, and He looks at her with compassion, and the most beautiful expression of love. She quickly tucks this shawl or towel under her mantle as the sol­ diers, after their moment of astonishment, come to life, surge for­ ward, and rudely push her aside. They shove her rudely back, jerk the Cross back and forth, they make Him walk on. They were sur­ prised at their own laxity whife watching the lady wipe the face of the Victim. That is too much for them to see this kindness. She quickly disappears in the crowd, runs away, and heads back to the house. III
  • 110. 100. OUR LORD HAS REWARDED HER But oh, how beautiful! Oh God, He has rewarded her, she does not know it, she is not aware of it, I do not think. She did not look at it, but there is an imprint; on this veil is the same beautiful face, the same compassionate look Our Lord gave to this woman at the time she wiped His face. Our Lord's face is imprinted just like alive, even with the love and compassion expressed in His eyes. There is no blood, no streaks or mud from Our Dear Lord's face on this veil. He surely must love her to reward her with such a beautiful image. "Veronica's VeiL" God has rewarded her for her kindness. The Holy face, His Holy face, It is so beautiful, how beautiful. Oh no, how cruel, this act of kindness was too much for this mob. They push Him now, they jerk Him, oh His shoulder seems to pain so, but He goes on. The sweat, the blood that is inflicted as the crown seems to be banging against the Cross that He is carrying, which causes the thorns to go in deeper and cause more anguish to Him. Oh no, oh no, He didn't fall, they jerked Him back up. They poke Him with spears, one sticks a prong right into the gash on Our Lord's forehead, which causes Him so much pain. The wound with dried blood breaks open and again fresh blood runs into His eyes. They always have to kick Him, to slap Him, jerk on His hair. They jerk the Cross back and forth, back and forth, forwards, side­ ways, backwards, they throw Him; with each jerk it jabs against the crown, presses the thorns just a little deeper. The Cross cuts into His already sore shoulder, it has sawed thru the meat right to the bone, it is riding on the bone. Oh, how painful, how agonizing, how it all weakens Our Lord. (Mary Ann appears to have much pain in her right shoulder, reaches toward it and from her facial expression in­ dicates that it is very painful.) If man here on earth would only know what Their Lord, Their God, has suffered for them, they could not continue to fire sins at Him daily. Oh look at Him, He did all this for us, and what do we give in return but more sins! Oh Lord, My God, look at His eyes, His face, the wounds all over His body, His garment has stuck to the wounds, it has dried on, so each movement, each jar, renews the bleeding, the anguish. 112
  • 112. 101. SEVENTH STATION-OUR LORD FALLS AGAIN BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE CROSS He falls again, right on His face in the dust and dirt. They kick Him, they step on Him, they pull Him, they prod Him with their feet, they prod Him with their spears, with clubs and sticks. He tries to rise, but He is so weak, He is growing weaker, He trembles and shakes. Perspiration and blood run into His eyes, this helps to blind Him, besides the swelling, the matted blood. (Mary Ann suffers much, slumps forward loses consciousness and has to be aroused.) The man who is helping Him carry the Cross puts his arm be­ neath Our Lord's left shoulder, and helps Him rise to His feet. He staggers with the weight, He trembles as He tries to walk on, so tired, so weary, with His heavy burden. They push Him, they pull Him, inflicting so much abuse, everything imaginable, the spitting, the kicking. He is back up, but He is getting so weak, so weary, but He is continuing, winding through the streets. They seem to be still in the streets, narrow streets, oh, how cruel can they get, how cruel. 102. EIGHTH STATION - OUR LORD LOOKS WITH COMPASSION ON THE WEEPING WOMEN. They are nearing the edge of the city, now they are coming to a large opening, a gate. Our Lords steps are faltering, they are getting weaker and weaker as He approaches this gate which is part of an arch-way. There are a group of women, they are crying, lamenting, they are speaking to Him. Some are holding children, they are reaching their hands toward Our Lord. They are pleading to Him. He looks at them with compassion, great sorrow and compassion, and in all His weakness and in all His exhaustion His voice seems to come firm and clear. He seems to be either saying something to them or He is praying. He speaks to them and some of them start crying. They bow their heads, He tenderly gives them a glance. These women and children move along with the crowd as the sol­ diers push Our Lord on. They cannot see any sign of love given to Our Lord so they push on in front of these women and they push 114
  • 115. Him on. They do not take the path that leads straight forward, they are going to the side path, rocky, thorny, a path that is hard to climb, that makes every step torture, every step that much harder to take. He goes on carrying the heavy burden, tired, tired, wearier, wearier. The road is getting steeper and steeper, but He continues to pray as they slam Him, and they jerk, as the Cross cuts deeper into His shoulder, deeper and deeper as they are jerking It back and forth on His shoulder, as the stumbling causes friction on His shoul­ der from the weight of the Cross. Our Lord looks upon the women of today, the sinful dress, the exposure. 103. NINTH STATION - OUR LORD FALLS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED UNDER THE CROSS. He is stooping over lower and lower. Our Lord He is so weak. Oh no, He has fallen again and the evilness, the cruelness of some of the mob, they throw briars right in His path. He has fallen with His face right on them. He is on His face, His already bruised face. The rocks re-open the wounds, His knees are so sore, He falls on rocks on the bare bone. Oh let Him alone, don't, don't kick the thorns. The pain it caused, the suffering, oh no. (Mary Ann expresses extreme anguish and grief). He is laying there as if dead, there seems to be no life left in Him. Some of the crowd seem to look afraid, they are looking at one another, they are pushing back the abusers, the tormentors. He tries to rise, He tries to rise but He is so weak He is unable to make it. Yes, He falls on His face again right in the mud, on the rocks and dirt. They jerk Him, prod Him, poke at Him, they try to it seems, want Him to get up on His feet. They seem to want to make Him go but He is so weak, He is so weak, look at Him, His whole body, is trem bling, it is quivering, it is shaking. (M ary Ann suffers intensely, her body slumps forward in the wheel chair, her face almost touch­ ing her knees, she sinks from exhaustion and has to be aroused.) The man is helping Our Lord who is so weak. He brings Himself up on one knee, He seems unable to get up, yes, but He is coming up shaking, trembling. They pull on the ropes and now, He looks 117
  • 116. up towards the top of the hill and from this hill there seems to be a light shining on Him which gives Our Lord strength. He seems to smile as He gathers up every ounce of His muscle and strength, and gets back up on His feet. He slowly starts to walk, is stooped so low as the steep hill is before Him, slow, slow, oh so slow, oh no, don't fall Lord. He has made it. He is bowed very low, bowed very low. His face just about touches His knees. He is way down, down, down with the weight of the Cross, with the weight of the persecution, with the mockery. Yes, they are stepping on Him, they are kicking Him to go to go, to go; it seems this is what they are saying, but I don't understand them. If I could understand them, no, but I don't. Yes, and the weakness of Our Lord, the steepness of the hill that they are slowly climbing. Oh, Our Lord is so weary as He stumbles and walks on. Oh, it seems impossible that He could raise one foot ahead of the other. Yes, the hill that Our Lord glances upward at, and knows, seems to know, where? Yes, the top of the hill, He seems to be satisfied, yes, He smiles and there seems to be a glow of Light that shines on Him from on top of that hill. Yes, He seems to be so weak, it lookslike Hecannot ~ on. Looks like He is ready to collapse. There are wor- ried glances amongst them all, they are afraid so they are sort of let- ting up on their jabbing, kicking, their jerking on the ropes for He is so weak. Yes, His lips are dry, so dry, He is so dazed, staggering, haggard, oh so haggard. The blood seems to be thickening on His face. Oh, to look at Him you would say that could not be Our Lord, Who should be without such suffering. Yes, but it is Our Lord. Yes, He is suffering, suffering for us, the mortals, the people on earth. Yes, His lips are uttering prayers. The Light seems to be invisible to the rest of them, they do not s~em to see that, yes:but it is a- Light that is shinT~'g from Ca vary on Him. Yes, giving Him strength in Hisweilined condition, for He seems to be on the verge of collapse. As He climbs further up, up, He stoops lower and lower, bllt the Light seems to pull uQ, up, up on Him. There seems to be anxiety in the group. They are calling to fi"im, they are jeering Him, but they are not jabbing Him, torturing Him, only with words and with anger, with cursing, with swearing, urging Him on. 118
  • 118. The ones in front are slightly pulling forward, but the ones in back are not pulling backwards now, for He has grown so weak, weakness from the weight. He is shaking, trembling. Oh, yes, as they are reaching the top and there seems to be a change in Our Lord's face. One would think it would be fear, but -it is not. He seems to have a face, oh, such a face of longing. It seems to be a great oh, like one that seems to be expecting something. "_~, there seem~Jo be a calmness about Him, it seems to be of happi­ ness, as His footsteps-falter, asHe stoops Ilower and lower. B.!:!t the Light, as He bends lower, seems to turn brighter, as if to give Him more strength to pull Himself up, to bring Him up with the weight of the Cross. Yes, they have reached the top of Calvary. 104. CALVARY - GOLGATHA, HILL OF THE SKULL The two thieves were walking with Him. They were carrying parts of the Cross. A young boy is carrying the inscription or plate with the letters I.N.R.I. There is more written but I can not see it, can't make it out. They leave them at the side. The soldiers are tak­ ing the blocks and sticks, and whatever it is, away from them. Two of the guards are staying with the thieves, while Our Lord walks on to the very spot, a higher place than the rest, the highest of all. Our Holy Mother looks at Her Son, Who is now being rudely pushed upon a rock nearby. He drops down with exhaustion. She is back to the side, farther back. Yes oh, oh, how She has aged. Oh, how Her face shows the suffering, such suffering. She is so white as though there is not a drop of blood in Her veins. Oh Holy Mother, Oh Mother of God, how You suffer for us all, as You are looking at Thy Son standing before Thee. How great must be Thy suffering, yes, how great, for now it looks like She will faint. Oh, She is going to, no, it looked like She was going to fall, but the Apostle who is always by Her side supports Her, and two other women seem to stay more close to Her. There are others, but they stay farther back. They are weeping, and their hearts seem heavy. They are lamenting, yes, they are praying. As they jerk the Cross off of Him, they press the crown down on 120
  • 119. Our Lord's already cut and bleeding head. They throw the Cross on the ground and there is a group of men who are leaning over it and seem to be doing something to it. Yes, they are nailing some pieces to it. A block of wood near the bottom. Yes, they are hewing out some hollows, for what, I do not know. It looks like it is for the thickness of our Lord's body; so that it would fit close to the Cross. Yes, it is for His shoulders. Now they seem to be hammering the cross-arms on to it. 105. TENTH STATION - STRIPPING OF HIS GARMENTS. MEASURING THE CROSS And now, they are jerking off His garment that has always been the garment of Our Lord, the one He has always worn, which is al­ ways with Him, that is fitted to His body. His Holy Mother gave it to Him. There is no opening to this. Oh, Oh, so cruel, they have no feeling, no sympathy, . . . . so they rudely jerk it off over His head, the crown of thorns with it, breaking open all the wounds that the crown has made. The wounds on His body, the wounds on His shoulder. The garment has adhered to them. They jerk it loose, and blood squirts forth, increases the pain and anguish. First the cloak, three of them seem to be battling over it. Now what are they doing? Oh, they are taking Our Lord to this Cross. He lays Himself on it. Yes, they measure the Cross. They measure Our Lord on the Cross. (Mary Ann's arms go out as if measuring the Cross. Her feet also extend downward at this time.) They purposely mark it a foot longer for the feet and also too wide for the cross­ arms. They take Him back, off to the side of the rock. Oh! One of them offers Him a drink. Oh, now, they take a sponge of gall, I believe it is gaB and vinegar, or something like it. They try to get Our Lord to drink. It must be bitter, for Our Lord makes an awful face and pushes it from Him. (Mary Ann's expres­ sion is as though someone gave her something very bitter.) He turned His face away and prayed. 121
  • 120. 106. RE-CROWNING Jeeringly they pick up the crown of thorns and shove it back on His head, inflicting new wounds, re-opening all the wounds that have sort of dried, the blood had thickened and the bleeding stopped, this again starts another stream of blood over His face and shoulders. Our Holy Mother sees all this and reaches toward Her Son, but the soldiers push Her back. Oh Holy Mother, don't, no, the rider on the white horse rides between Our Holy Mother and Her Divine Son. (Mary Ann looks startled and alarmed.) This all seems to be done to make Our Lord suffer even more as He sees His Mother abused so rudely. They will not let Her come near. Her arms are reaching with sorrow as She sees the body of Her Son. Oh Blessed Mother, She sways, She is about to faint. She falls on Her knees, and the Apostle quickly puts his arms about Her and picks Her up. Oh, She looks so aged, so aged, but beneath all this age is still the beauty; for anyone with the love that is in the heart of Our Holy Mother for Her Divine Son, the beauty cannot be erased. The blood has thickened in the eyes of Our Lord, and dried, but beneath it all one can see His former beauty, the former Self, but to look at Him now, He is unrecognizable. He is not the Man He was before He went into the garden, for part of His hair has been pulled out, chunks of beard have been pulled out. Oh pitiful Man. 107. CASTING LOTS Oh but those scourgers, executioners, three of them, they are quarreling over Our Lord's garments, casting lots, over who is going to have which part. They have taken the robe and severed it into different pieces to divide amongst them. They then cast lots over the garment, the tunic that Our Lord wore and has always worn, that His Holy Mother made for Him. Our Holy Mother intercedes and it seems they cannot tear this to divide it amongst them, so they are casting lots over it. Some are working on the Cross, other men are taking the thieves, 122
  • 121. (f) f­ Z w ~ ex: <{ (9 (f) I LL. o o W 0... 0... ex: f­ (f) (f) (f) ~ (f) ...., W .. Z o f­ <{ f­ (f) I .f­ Z w f­
  • 122. one to the right and one to the left of Our Lord. They are pulling them up and tying their arms with ropes. Oh Blessed Mother, Oh Holy Mother, Oh Blessed Mother, She is so weak. In sorrow and pain She watches Her Son so cruelly treat­ ed, so rudely beaten and bruised. Her eyes look so sad as She trembles in the arms of the young Apostle. Oh Holy Mother, how sorrowful, how painful. 108. OUR HOLY MOTHER AGAIN INTERCEDES FOR THE LOIN CLOTH They are all grouped around. They have everything stripped from Our Lord except the loin cloth, and one of the scourgers reaches for it. But wait, what is this happening? Oh no, don't do that! Our Blessed Mother is looking. Her eyes seem to look with such sorrow. Oh no, they are trying to remove the last garment from Our Lord. What is that, a Light? Yes, there seems to be a Light shin­ ing, and when this Light flicks across the loin cloth, the scourger jerks back with astonishment. Ah, he couldn't get it, that feels bet­ ter. (Mary Ann seems much relieved and pleased.) Hmm, the sec­ ond one steps forward and tries the same. He thinks he is better. Yes, he too steps back with astonishment. There is a Light stream­ ing to that cloth as Our Lord stands there with bowed head. Ah, you could not take it either, and now the third one tries it also. The same happens to him. Through all this Our Lady, Our Holy Mother, watches from the side with Her arms reaching toward Him, toward Her Divine Son, with prayers continually for Him. The Apostle is always at Her side, and those same two women who were with them from the begin­ ning. There are a few other women there also, but they are not as close as these two. It pleases Her to spare Her Son this humiliation before this crowd, this mob. For many from different nations or countries it seems have gathered here. Soldiers, some people with different dress, who ever they are. Some of them who had been with Our Lord before, were lamenting, crying and pleading, as the angry mob surges past and in front of them. 124
  • 123. And now the scourger, the fourth one, seems to motion them back and say, it seems that way, because he pushes him away, "Leave it alone, it is not important, leave it on Him." He seems to be impatient to get going with what they have to do. During this time those working on the Cross have completed their work, fastening the inscription on the Cross, and now Our Holy Mother seems to be saying a prayer in Her heart, as She looks at Her afflicted Son. They are coming for Our Lord now. They have replaced the crown,jabbing it down tightly, causing more blood to flow over His face. He walks towards the Cross. Oh, can't you do it more gently? They halfway throw Him down on the Cross. He lays Himself on it as if He was glad to do so. (Mary Ann extends her arms straight out on both sides as if measuring for the Cross gasps sharply and says, "Blessed Mother, Holy Mother.") 109. ELEVENTH STATION - OUR LORD IS NAILED TO THE CROSS They are jerking His right arm down to the Cross. (Mary Ann's right arm goes out.) They are taking His right hand, and are nailing it to the Cross. Oh, that big, huge, ugly nail. (Mary Ann points to the bones at the bottom of the wrist and the beginning of the hand as the place the nail entered. It was called the five carpal bones and/or lunat bone by the doctor present, an M.D.) They are driving this nail into the already prepared hole in the Cross; 1,2,3,4,5 blows of the hammer. (Mary Ann gives a heavy breath at each blow of the hammer.) Oh, oh, they purposely put the holes too far apart. His left arm does not reach, it is too short. They put a rope around it to stretch it. (Mary Ann extends her left arm, her arm reaches out three times as if being pulled. She then stays in this extended position.) They are bracing their feet against the Cross. Oh, they are pulling His arm, it seems to stretch out of the socket. 1,2,3,4,5 blows of the hammer. (Again Mary Ann gives a heavy breath at each blow.) The block they placed on the Cross to help support the weight of 125
  • 124. the body is far too low for the length of Our Lord, they measured the Cross too long intentionally, so they have to dismember Our Lord's body. They are fastening ropes to Him above the knees. Two men are pulling them down to position. Oh, His body seems to be dislocating, stretching all out of form. Now they are jerking down His right leg, (Mary Ann's right leg comes down with a heavy thud.) They pulled it down until He was disjointed. It's over one foot or so too short. Now one of them is using a sort of spear to make a hole through the right foot. (Mary Ann's body stretches and her right foot goes down to a position of nailing.) Now in His left, and now they are placing the left on top of the right, (Mary Ann's left foot now goes over the right.) and they have a long, huge nail, as thick as a large mans thumb, about eighteen inches long. It took eighteen blows with a heavy iron hammer to fasten His feet. (Mary Ann again gives a heavy breath at each blow.) 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14, 15. Three more blows to fasten or clinch with eighteen in all. (Dur­ ing this time Mary Ann's suffering is so severe that she sinks several times and has to be called. Prayers are said for her so she can con­ tinue. Her head tosses, tongue protrudes, she leans forward, her body turns and twists, her head goes back aga~n and immediately comes forward, her head is bowed low, then returns to a normal po­ sition.) Our Holy Mother falls into the arms of the Apostle as She seems to have gone limp, She seems to have fainted. Oh Heavenly Moth­ er, She is being lifted up by the Apostle. She is conscious, but She is so weak. A Light seems to shine on Her and again has given Her strength. They are now putting up the two thieves. Several men are fastening ropes around the Cross to raise it. Six men are bracing it, using a rope, fastening one end to another old cross, sort of stake on the hill, for a support. That way they are pull­ ing, raising the Crucifix, the Cross where He is nailed upon. Six men, scourgers, are pulling, and the way they are pulling, the vibra­ tion is jerking the wounds of Our Lord, it is bringing anguish and torture to His already afflicted body. They are jerking it, they are jerking it; and now it is partly up while some of the soldiers with 126
  • 126. spears are pushing. One spear slipped and jabbed Our Lord in His thigh. It seems difficult to raise it. no. PLANTING THE TREE The soldiers, as they raise the Cross, they pierce Our Lord under His armpits, causing Him more agony to His already so mutilated body. Oh, they drop it, and with the jar, the already sore and painful wounds of Our Lord are re-opened. And now they start all over, and oh, the anguish and all the pain that Our Lord is suffering. They are pulling, pushing Him up again, they are using a rope, tying it to a stake for support. Now they are making it, it is coming up, it is coming up. There seems to be a Light from the Heavens, that gives Our Lord strength. It seems to come up, they are getting it higher and now they are sliding, guiding the end into an already prepared hole. Oh, the jar and the thud as it slides into the hole! It goes into place with such a terrific fall that Our Lord's body seems to be jerked. His wounds seem to squirt blood, wounds from the crown of thorns; there are streams of blood coming from His wrists, from His feet, and as it sways, it jerks on the wounds, causing streams of blood to flow down. With the jar, the blood gushes forth, but the blood does not go to the ground. It stops, I don't know where it has gone to, it gushes forth and ends in mid-air, it just disappears. Our Holy Mother, oh, She nearly fainted. She is lying collapsed in the arms of the Apostle, two of the women are helping Her. No, one of them is also collapsing, she is falling to the ground, seems to be in a faint. Yes, they want to go up to the foot of the Cross, but the soldiers are pushing them back. Our Holy Mother is pleading, is extending Her arms to Her Son. She turns Her eyes to the Heavens pleading to help Him, to help Her Son, to help Her Son. She prays and the women with Her pray and cry. Many of the holy women are weeping, crying, and calling, while some of the soldiers yell at them, then go back to Our Lord to mock 128
  • 127. Him, to scream at Him, spit at Him, jab Him with spears. Some of the others who are looking on with anxiety and anguish, feel sorry for Him the way He hangs there, disfigured, His body malformed, dismembered, joints out of place, bones dislocated. Oh, what a piti­ ful sight Our Lord is on Mount Calvary as the Cross was first plant­ ed. Oh now, some of the workers are driving in stakes, five wedge­ like stakes and placing rocks around the bottom of the Cross, fas­ tening the Cross. Yes, five blows to each stake. (Mary Ann again gives a heavy breath at each blow of the hammer.) Each blow, each pounding is another jerk, more torture to the already painful wounds of Our Lord. They are poking Him with reeds and spitting at Him, throwing rocks at Him. While all this was going on, some soldiers put up the crosses and are tying the thieves with ropes, they were not nailed, but were tied with their arms above the cross. One on the right and one on the left of Our Lord. He seems to be hanging quietly in prayer, and Our Heavenly Mother is near the foot of the Cross. Oh Blessed Mother, Holy Mother. The soldier on the white horse holding the robe of Our Lord, tried to walk his horse against Our Holy Mother. One of the men pushed him back. They are throwing stones, mud, yelling at Him, screaming at Him, mocking Him, while some of the holy people are crying and pleading. Others go before Our Lord and bow to Him, with oh, such ugly words. Horsemen ride by and jab Him with sp,ears. (Mary Ann's eyes close, her head falls forward and to the right, her body relaxes and her breathing seems to momentarily stop. She regains consciousness.) Ill. DEUS, DEUS, DEUS While Our Lord looks heavenward, He calls out aloud, in a loud voice, (Mary Ann says "DEUS, DEUS, DEUS.") He is saying something I cannot understand. Our Lord through an the anguish and all the pain, continues to pray. (Mary Ann's lips move as if in 129
  • 128. prayer.) There is always prayer on His lips as He looks down upon those that have pity in their hearts for Him, and those that are tor­ turing and tormenting Him. They have completed the hanging of the two thieves, the one on the right and one on the left of Our Lord. They are tied with ropes. Oh, listen to the thief on the left of Our Lord, he is cursing Him, he is screaming at Our Lord. Oh, the hatred and the anger and la­ menting in one of them, the viciousness in the thief on the left of Our Lord. He seems to have the blackest ugliest, vilest, the most vi­ cious look of hatred towards Our Lord. Oh, but Our Lord only looks at him with pity. And, the other on the right of Him, he also looks with anger, but then something seems to stop him, and his eyes turn from anger to pity. He laments, yes, but now his face softens as he looks at Our Lord Who is being tortured more than they are. He seems to be scolding the thief on the left, for they are only tied with rope and Our Lord is nailed, the blood gushing forth from the wounds. He looks at Our Lord, at His wounds on His forehead, the crown of thorns, His beaten body, the wounds all over the body, there is not one spot on that whole body without a break, only where Our Lady has intervened, and the loin cloth is protecting Him. Outside of that, there is not one place where you could even place a pin, with­ out bursted skin. So this thief seems to be looking at Him with great wonderment in his eyes, with great compa~ion. In the meantime, the other one is still ugly, black, keeps swear­ ing, cursing, his face black with anger. The one on the right speaks to the one on the left. He looks at him and back again to Our Lord, and he seems to be saying something to the thief on the left. And now some soldiers are pushing forward, laughing, mocking, spitting on Him, prodding Him with spears. Their motions and ac­ tions seem like they are telling Him if He were King, come off the Cross; if He were God to come off the Cross, that is what their ac­ tions, their motions seem to indicate. They bow before Him, then get up and jeer and laugh, they spit at Him, they ride around on horses, they throw things at Him, mock Him, make fun of Him. He only turns His eyes heavenward and prays. (Mary Ann's lips move as if in prayer.) 130
  • 129. During all this time the two thieves are speaking. The thief on the right leans over to speak to the thief on the left of Our Lord. Through it all Our Lord's lips continue to move in prayer, His eyes look heavenward. Our Lord's lips never cease in prayer. The only time one does not see His lips move is during the time He is in con­ vulsion. His body twists, turns, jerks, His tongue protrudes, then goes back, and He continues to pray; He is then calm and peaceful; again He convulses, and He prays when it ceases. (Mary Ann's body convulses, her tongue protrudes, breathing is heavy and irreg­ ular, she is then calm again and her lips move in prayer.) The soldiers are still riding around on horses, some walking, some throwing rocks, some bowing before Him, screaming words of mockery. 112. OUR LORD SPEAKS TO THE THIEF ON HIS RIGHT The thief on the right now speaks to Our Lord in a kind, pleading way, in such a loving way, with such sincerity. Then he looks over the crowd and back again to Our Lord, and Our Lord looks at him in a compassionate way and prays for him. On His tortured lips there seems to be a smile as He speaks to the thief on the right, an­ swers him with love and compassion, and then turns His eyes toward Heaven, while the other one is still in anger. Our Holy Mother, She tries to come forth again with Her arms reaching towards Her Son. Our Holy Mother has come back to the foot of the Cross. The two women are with Her. She walks forward, Her arms outstretched, She, Oh, She is so sorrowful, so weak from all the anxiety and anguish. She, leans heavily on one of the women and the Apostle as they go forward. As they step nearer the Cross, the Apostle is supporting Her, for She looks so pale, so broken, so sad, as if She had not the strength to stand. She leans against the arms of the Apostle. Our Lord's body would rack in pain as He convulsed. His tongue would protrude. His eyes would look toward Heaven, but His lips never ceased in prayer. (Again Mary Ann's body convulses, tongue protrudes and lips move in prayer.) His Holy Mother suffered all 131
  • 130. the pangs that Her Holy Son did, Her Divine Son, you could see that in the anguish on Her face, on the difference between the time of the Agony in the Garden to the Crucifixion. Her face aged, oh, not the beauty, oh no, Her beauty, Her radiance, it was always there, but the sorrow, oh the sorrow so deeply inflicted upon Her heart. The arrows that pierced Her, yes, God in Heaven, the Eter­ nal Father, must have given this Mother the strength to witness what Our Holy Mother had to witness. She looked like She would faint any moment, but no, She would always receive strength to come back and face Her Divine Son. She seemed, with Her arms extended, reaching towards Her Son, ask to take H is place. Oh, the compassion of Her Son on the Cross as He looked down upon Her, as Our Lord looks at His Holy Mother, oh with such love. He knew that His Eternal Father has chosen Him, and He thanked His Dear Mother for Her thoughts of trying to exchange places. Yes, that was the sorrow Our Blessed Mother witnessed and endured during the Crucifixion of Our Lord, Our God. And now Our Holy Mother is throwing Herself at the foot of the Cross. Our Lord smiles at His Mother and the Apostle. She is reaching up to Him with love in Her eyes, with such love in Her Heart, and Our L9rd is looking down upon Her. Oh Their eyes meet in such love, such compassion and love, such beautiful love, He speaks to Her, "Woman, behold Thy Son." She does not an­ swer, but Her eyes speak for Her. Her eyes plead for mercy for Him. He looks upon His Apostle. He now speaks to the Apostle with the same love in His eyes as He gave His Mother, and the Apostle, such love in his eyes as They look at one another. He speaks to him, "Behold Thy Mother." (Observation by Or. John De Werth regarding Mary Ann's phys­ ical actions at this time: "Convulsions of lower jaw and both arms. Head tilted to left and looks forward. Convulsions extend over en­ tire body. Arms extend laterally. Eyes looking up. Head tilted to left. Arms spastic and elevated above head. Face looking directly upward." For a complete description see volume 2, "My Work With Necedah", page 172-79.) 132
  • 132. 113. OUR LORD GIVES US HIS HOLY MOTHER (The Celestials requested the following prayer be said at this time). "Oh Holy Mother, make us worthy of Thy anguish. Show us the way, the way to love Thy Son as Thou lovest Him. Open our hearts as Your Heart has been opened with pain and sorrow. Open ours with Love for Thy Son, Our Lord, Our God, Who is hanging there nailed to the Cross. Every bit of blood gushing forth from His Body, all for us, so unworthy, so faithless, so thoughtless, so heartless. The film of greed and sin and worldliness is in front of our eyes. Oh Bl~ssed Mother, pierce that film, tear it away, so that we too, can see Thy Son the Way Thou hast seen Him. Open Thy arms and take us to Thy Bosom. Show us the Way, the Light. Oh God, have mercy on us, Oh Sorrowful and Holy Mother pray for us, guiqe us, protect us with Thy Blue Mantle, Lead us on the road to Thy Divine Son, make us worthy of Him. Amen." My Lord and My God, and now He looks back at His Mother and He looks at the two women. The one with the long golden hair has such great pity and sorrow in her heart for The Lord whom she loves, she falls at His feet. He turns and looks at His Holy Mother, and then back to His Apostle, then His eyes glance over the people. He sees those that are weeping, those that have the same evil thoughts, and now His eyes turn heavenward. This young Apostle has never once left His Mother's side. Through all the sorrow and hardship, the Way of the Cross, he has never once failed Her. The soldiers cannot witness this love too long, so they are riding their horses between them and are forcing this beautiful scene apart. They push Her back and She steps back with sorrow and love 134
  • 133. as their eyes meet again. (Mary Ann's body becomes rigid, gasps for breath loudly several times, tongue protrudes, her arms stiffen, quiver and her lips move as if in prayer.) Our Lord's body would rack in pain as He convulsed, His tongue protrudes. Oh, the way His body is convulsing, the blood streaming from His arms, from the wounds, one wonders where it is all com­ ing from. There seems to be no end to it, but the strangest thing to me is you do not see any of it on the ground, where does it go? I do not know, but you can see it leave the wounds and go about halfway to the ground and then it stops, as though a screen'is pulled in front of me, you cannot see it, I cannot see where it is going, it disappears as if someone is catching it. 1I4. ANGELS CATCHING THE BLOOD IN A CHALICE Oh! Oh! Angels are catching the blood in a chalice. Our Lord now prays as His eyes turn toward the Heavens. They spear Him again, they strike Him across His legs, oh such meanness, such ugli­ ness, such hatred, such a milling angry crowd. Others are still mak­ ing mockery, screaming, while many are weeping; such lamenting and weeping from the women. 1I5. FOREIGN WORDS Eloi, Eloi, lamma sabacthani. (My God, My God, Why hast Thou forsaken Me.) Oh, but the look on Our Lord's face, the matted blood, His beau­ tiful hair all matted, partly torn out. His beard is ripped in spots where they tried to pull some of it out, His eyes are filled with blood, His lips parched and swollen, His tongue thick, as it extends in His agony and in moments of convulsion, then again He comes right back out of it, and His eyes turn toward Heaven. (Mary Ann's tongue protrudes, sticks to her lips, she makes a rasping, gasp for breath.) Our Lord's mouth is so dry and parched, His tongue is out, Our Lord's lips parched and dry. He seems to indicate that He is thirsty. 135
  • 135. 116. SITIOI (I Thirst) And now one of the soldiers is walking up to Him, has di pped a sponge in a jar, and placing it on the end of a reed, is pushing it to the li ps of Our Lord. It seems to be filled with something very dis­ tasteful, Our Lord, seems to indicate He wants water but this is what they give Him. (Mary Ann's expression is one as if tasting something very bitter.) Oh UGH! UGH! Oh the face, the ugliness, they laugh, they sneer. Our Holy Mother witnessed all this. Blessed Mother, Sorrowful Mother, how weary, how tired You are; especially looking upon Your Son covered with blood. His feet are covered with blood, His ankles, the edge of the soles of His feet are all bruised and bleeding. Her heart goes out to Her Son. Oh no, it looks like She is going to faint, but She doesn't. S~e falls in the arms of the Apostle as he ten­ derly holds Her. Oh Holy Mother, Thy heart too, has been pierced with every nail and every thorn. You too, have tasted the bitterness of the sponge on Your lips. Oh, the wounds are great in Your heart. You have aged, no not in years, but in sorrow. And now Our Lord's body is getting weaker and weaker. Some of the multitude who are there, some of them have gone back into the city; others are still making mockery, screaming, while many are weeping. Oh, the body of Our Lord seems to be getting smaller, His body seems to have shrunken. Every ounce of blood seems to have left His body. A strange look comes over His body. He is so pale, He is weakening so. Oh, such a pitiful sight. He turns His eyes to the Heavens and prays, "Deus" (God). There were also other foreign words. Our Lord's body seems to rise especially His chest. Now He jerks and quivers. His body is stiffening. And now, Our Lord's eyes are turned toward Heaven, and His head drops to the right side, and His body collapses. 137
  • 136. 117. TWELFTH STATION-OUR LORD DIES ON THE CROSS And with this Our Lord cries out in a Iloud voice, but I cannot un­ derstand them. And He drops, He dies. Our Lord, He has expired. (Mary Ann's eyes close, her head falls forward and to the right, her body relaxes and breathing seems to momentarily stop. She re­ gains consciousness and says) The same moment Our Lord's body sank or died, the earth blackened. And now it seems everything is ripping. Oh, the sky is turning black. Now the sun has changed color to a red glow, it has turned to a bloody red. There is a flash, it disappears. The sky is dark as at night, the air has a purplish hue. There seems to be a rumbling, then a terrific flash and other flashes like lightning. Oh, sounds like a tremendous explosion, a bursting noise. Some of the people are frightened, some tremble, scream in fear. Everything seems to be shaking as though an earthquake is taking place. With this fear in the mob, the soldiers stir up the crowd and continue to scream at Our Lord. The people are scream­ ing, frightened, running away in terror. Some, falling on their faces just lay there in terror, some are rolling on the ground. Oh, look at the fright, women have fainted. Those that were bold, started (0 fear, started to wonder what it was all about. (Mary Ann's expres­ sion is one of fright, distress, fear.) The soldiers are trying to calm some of them. It brought terror to others, some were vicious. Some drop down on their knees, are frightened, put their hands to their face, some are leaving, they are going down the hill. Some of the soldiers' horses are frightened, they are leaving. Oh, Sorrowful Mother, make us worthy of Thy Divine Son Whose suffering Thou hast witnessed to the bitter end. All the agony from the garden to Calvary. Oh Sorrowful Mother, open our hearts with love for Thy Divine Son. Yes, that was the sorrow Our Blessed Mother witnessed and endured during the crucifixion of Our Lord and God. And now Our Holy Mother is throwing Herself weeping at the foot of the Cross, also one of the other women. She sobs bitterly, Her body just wracks with sobs. The Apostle is now gently picking 138
  • 138. Her up and holding Her in his arms. The others only look up with compassion. One of the women has fainted at the foot of the Cross, one with the beautiful golden hair. Oh, it's such a sorrowful picture to see Our Blessed Mother kissing the feet of Her Divine Son, em­ bracing the Cross. Oh, She clings so desperately to the Cross and looks up at Her Son Who looks so white beneath all the dried blood and wounds. Oh, the sorrowful sight to see how heavy is the heart of Our Lord's Mother as She gazes upon Her Divine Son Who has just died upon the Cross for the sins of man. The Apostle is trying to revive the one who has fainted, she too rises. Now she is throwing her arms about the Cross, kissing Our Lord's feet and wiping some of the blood from His feet with her tears and with her beautiful golden hair. There are only a few scattered there now, most of them have left, some have fled in terror. A calmness begins to settle near the Cross. Our Holy Mother, the Apostles and the two women are praying. The thieves are still alive, it seems the one at the right has fainted, the one on the left just moved, I cannot see if he is conscious or not. There are three men approaching the hill from the city. One a large man, is riding a horse, the other two, smaller, are walking. They are approaching the Cross of Our Lord. He gives orders to the two men with him. They seem to be looking to see ifall three on the crosses are dead. Two of them are looking after the two thieves. They are still alive on the crosses, but in a very weakened condition. Oh, they are clubbing the thieves, breaking their arms, twisting their legs, breaking their legs. lI8. OUR LORD'S BODY IS PIERCED WITH A LANCE The large man on a white horse is riding up to Our Lord, exam­ ines Him and finds He is dead. He is a strange looking man, he puts the spear into Our Lord, into His side after He has expired. It is not to the extreme right nor is it to the extreme left, but I shall say in the center of the breast, a little bit to the right, the soft part where there is no bone. It wen t into His heart and out the left side, just above the third rib, inflicting a small wound the size of the nail that was used 140
  • 139. for Our Lord's Crucifixion. Again the blood and fluid gush forth as he releases the spear from Our Lord's body, but again the blood does not fall to the ground, it stops halfway to the ground; it seems to disappear into something, into a chalice. An Angel is catching it. In the village there is a man, a kindly looking man, speaking with someone, oh, he is so sorry, so worried, he has his head on the table. His spouse had pleaded with him and now he seems to understand what she meant. This man seems to ask him for something. Through aB this, the Apostle, Our Holy Mother and the two women have steadfastly stayed there. Our Holy Mother is kneeling nearby with Her arms folded on Her breast praying. The Apostle has turned the head of Our Holy Mother to his bosom while the spear entered Our Lord's body; while the one with the long golden hair again fainted and fell to the ground from seeing the blood gush forth from the wound. The Apostle again revives her, and Our Holy Mother, the Apostle, and the two other women are praying. The three soldiers are leaving. 119. THIRTEENTH STATION - THE BODY OF OUR LORD IS TAKEN DOWN FROM THE CROSS The man that I have seen in the village, he is now coming towards Our Lord with two other men. One of them is carrying a ladder. The one is examining the thief on the right, the other is going to the thief at the left. The tall man, carrying a large linen cloth, is going to the Cross of Our Lord. There are some women coming also, they are carrying something, but they are staying in the background. Our Holy Mother is now coming back to the foot of the Cross, She is on Her knees praying, looking up at Her Son, while the tall man seems to tell the others what to do. They are placing a ladder behind the Cross of Our Lord, they are climbing up the ladder. One of them hands the other a large linen cloth. He is wrapping it around the body, under the armpits, and fastening it around the Cross above, to support the weight of His body. The one is handing him a hammer and what looks like a pincers. They are loosening the nail from the right hand, one drives it back from the opposite . 141
  • 140. side with the hammer, while the other pulls with the pincers, tong­ like instrument. He hands the nail from the right hand to Our Holy Mother, Who takes it, kisses it and presses it to Her bosom. (Mary Ann's right arm relaxes and goes down to her side.) Now he is moving the ladder to the left arm. He is again loos­ ening the nail, also removing it with the pincers, gently, so gently. He hands this nail to Our Blessed Mother, She kisses it, too. (Mary Ann's left arm relaxes and comes down to her side.) The body of the Lord slumps down into the weight of the cloth that is holding Him. Oh, how gently they are supporting His body! He has gone down the ladder to free the feet of Our Lord. They have a very difficult time, they have to pound hard to loosen that large nail, as it is as thick as a large man's thumb. They are very gently unclenching it in the back, now they are pulling it out. He is trying to be very gentle, although it is difficult to do it gently for the nail is about eighteen inches long. (Mary Ann's legs relax and her left foot uncrosses from over the right.) They are handing this nail to Our Blessed Mother, Who kisses it. Now the one is climbing back up the ladder, removing the crown of thorns. Many of the thorns have broken off while He was being so rudely abused. He hands the crown to Our Holy Mother, Our Lady kisses the crown and lays it aside. Now the one is climbing back up the ladder, he is unfastening the cloth. Now they gentlly release the body. Oh, oh, Blessed Mother, how hard this must be for You. The Apostle is reaching upward also to help support the body as it is being gently lowered. Our Holy Mother has seated Herself against a large rock with Her right knee in such a position as to form a pillow to support the head of Our Lord. 120. THE BODY OF OUR LORD IS PLACED IN THE ARMS OF HIS HOLY MOTHER The Apostle has laid a long linen cloth on the ground, one end over the knee of Our Holy Mother. Our Lord is being placed gently onto the linen cloth with His head and shoulders nestled in the arms 142
  • 141. and lap of Our Blessed Mother. Our Lady kisses the forehead of Her Divine Son. She is quickly removing a veil from Her head be­ neath Her blue one. With this She wipes the face of Her Son, His bloody forehead. They have removed the crown, oh, so many thorns have broken off, are imbedded in His head. Oh, She is trying to remove the thorns. The Apostle is helping Her, She wipes the blood from His eyes, tears of sorrow are running down Her face. Sorrowful Mother, Sorrowful Mother, how it pains Thee to see Thy Son Who has just been placed in Thy arms, to see the wounds in His head, in His breast. How it pains Thy heart as You start to cleanse the wounds on His head, to remove the thorns that have broken off, while the other women who stayed in the back, are now coming for­ ward with jars and cloths and sponges, with some kind of herbs or leaves or spices; I don't know, salve, ointments I guess, and some other things. They are helping to cleanse Our Lord's body with ointments and herbs; His arms, His feet, His head, His face. While the one with the beautiful hair has thrown herself pros­ trate at the feet of Our Lord, and with her tears has cleansed the wounds of both feet, and has wiped them clean with her hair. Oh, she loves Him so, the tears that have streamed from her face and eyes, have washed clean the feet of her Dear Lord. Our Lady, Our Holy Mother, is cleansing the hair that has been so matted with blood, grime and dirt, and pieces of thorns, pieces of rock. Oh, what a dirty mess, but She so gently cleanses it all. His hair looks so clean now. She gently smooths it and arranges it neat­ ly, next to His face. She kisses each eye, His forehead and His lips, in the form of a Cross. 121. OUR LORD'S BODY IS WRAPPED IN A LINEN CLOTH Now She takes a clean cloth from beneath Her mantle and gently folds it, and places it gently over His face, while the other women and the Apostle and the two other men take a clean linen cloth and wrap His body around and around, starting from His feet upwards to under His arms. They are now lowering His arms and crossing 143
  • 142. -t I ::0 -t m m Z -t I (J) -t » -t o Z o C ::0 r o ::0 o (J) -t » A m Z o o ~ Z 'T1 ::0 o ~ -t I m () ::0 o (J) (J)
  • 143. them at the wrists, left over right. (Mary Ann's arms cross and come to rest below her chest.) Now they take the large linen cloth, folding it lengthwise, straight from His feet upward, over His body, back over His head, and again from His head down. It is starting to get dark now, so they are hurrying to complete this work before the sun goes down. 122. THE BODY OF OUR LORD IS CARRIED IN PROCESSION TO THE TOMB Now they pick up His body, the Apostle and the two men who lowered Him from the Cross, and another man that has joined the group. They are gently carrying Him, heading as in a procession towards the city, but not the way they had come, but to the side, down the hill. Our Holy Mother and the two holy women who were always so close to Her are by Her side, they follow as in a proces­ sion, down the hill. All the other women, about eight or ten of them, are close behind. They walk slowly, some are staying further back, some of these holy women were there during the three hours. One of the women is gathering flowers. She has left the proces­ sion. Now they are coming to the side of the village. They have come not to the main gate of the city, but a side gate. Seems like they are entering, looks like a garden. There are many beautiful flowers here. To the side there is a rock. Seems to be a large cave or tomb that has been prepared. There are two guards standing at the outside. 123. FOURTEENTH STATION - THE BODY OF OUR LORD IS PLACED IN THE TOMB The four men have entered the tomb. Oh, they are laying the body of Our Lord on what is formed like a bed, we would call it the size ofa cot, though it is not a cot, but it resembles one which seems to have already been prepared. How gently they are laying Him down upon this. 145
  • 144. The two women and the Holy Mother have entered also. They have gone down on their knees as if in prayer, but the guards are coming in and ordering them out. One of the eight women came with a big armful of flowers, which the one with the beautiful golden hair quickly gathers into her arms, runs back in, quickly strews them over the tomb and the body of Our Lord and God, and quickly runs out. The soldiers move a huge flat rock against the entrance of this cave, which seals the tomb. The rest all slowly leave. Our Holy Mother is leaning heavily on the one with the golden hair, while the Apostle is supporting Her on the other side. They are weeping and crying, neither of them turn to look back, the two women are going with them, slowly wa,lking away. The men also leave now, excepting the two guards, who stand at each side of the rock to watch. The rest are vanishing in the distance. 146
  • 145. 00 ~ o I- w I I- Z Cl ~ en Cl a: oI - a: ~ o .. Z o i= « I- en I I- Z w w I- a: ~ o u.
  • 146. The following is an explanation of the Symbols taken from various liturgical sources. t The Cross is the Sacred Symbol and reminder of the Pas­ sion and Death of Thy Lord and God on the Cross; The Way of the Cross and principle of Christian virtue, mortification and victory, death and resurrection; the Sign of redemption and salvation, the sign of the Cross or seal of the living God; the Sign of the Son of Man, and the Sign of the Most High Triune God (Holy Trinity); God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. To begin and end prayer with the Sign of the Cross is to profess our faith in the Blessed Trinity. Especially when we make the Sign of the Cross, we chase away the fiends or exorcise the devil by making the Sign of the Cross on ourself. Followers and Opponents of the Cross "And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not wor­ thy of Me." "Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden light." "If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For he who would save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will save it. For what does it profit a man ifhe gain the whole world, but ruin or lose himself? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when He comes in His glory and that of the Father and of the holy angels." "Their end is ruin, their god is the belly (lust of the flesh and the almighty dollar) their glory is in their shame, they mind the things of earth. But our citizenship is in heaven from which also we eager­ ly await a Savior, Our Lord Jesus Christ, who will refashion the body of our lowliness, conforming it to the body of His glory by ex­ erting the power by which He is able also to subject all things to Himself. So then, my brethren, beloved and longed for, my joy and my crown, stand fast thus in the Lord beloved." 149
  • 147. It is logical to proceed as shown; starting in the right hand quad­ rant at the top of the symbol, to the lower left hand quadrant; then, rant, thus in this form ~ -z.X. planation that will follow. I or * to the upper left hand quadrant down to the lower right hand quad­ will be the order of the ex­ ~_-- f Christ, the Lamb of God, Priest and Victim. Behold the Divine Sacrificial Lamb of God, Christ, our Pasch, the great eternal High Priest and Redeemer (Victim), who takest away the sins of the world. This is the monogram or sign of Jesus Christ. f or P and X , is also the first and last letter of the Latin word "Pax" which means "Peace". The Divinity of Jesus Christ d- ~ The A (Alpha) and n (Omega) signify an abso­ lute plentitude or perfection and is the manner of expressing God's eternity and symbolizing the Divinity of Jesus Christ. Christ, as well as the Father, is truly: one and the same God, with the same Divine nature, yet, is really distinct in person, Whose exis­ tence with the Father is eternal. ("I and the Father are one." John 10: 30) (". . . Philip, he who sees me sees also the Father. How canst thou say, "Show us the Fa­ ther" Dost thou not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in me? The words that I speak to you I speak not on my own author­ ity, but the Father dwelling in me, it is He who does the works." John 14: 8-12) There are two great Divine attributes of God. They are truth and g~9_dness. Of these twO-perfections trutnnmks higher. TneWord made flesh dwelling amongst us refers to Christ and His Incarna­ tion, the "glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." Grace stands for goodness of Whom alone the end be­ comes beginning, and ends at the""c:r:iginal beginning without any break. "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last; the 150
  • 148. beginning and the end." "Who is and who was, and who is coming, The Almighty." "I am who am." "I am the first and the last", fit- tingly expresses that God is eternal, the beginning and the end of all things. The A (Alpha) or the first letter of the Greek alphabet denotes that God is the first of all things. There was no one before Him of whom He could have received the fulness of truth. The 0 (Omega) or the last letter of the Greek alphabet sig- nifies that God is the last of all things. There will be no one after Him to whom He could bequeath it. Here, the A is found on the right and the flis found on the left; and both of which are joined together to indicate that in Christ the beginning and the end are joined into one. Thus, is the Divinity of Christ shown in symbol. ro - 9 This symbol represents the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass- the liturgical rite whereby the Catholic Church, from the First Mass of Christ, until this very morning, has celebrated throughout the world the Divine Mystery of the passion and death of Our Lord Jesus Christ. It is the commemoration and His perpetuation of the living renewal of the one very same Sacrifice of the Cross, which was offered up at the First Mass and consumated on Catvary. On Calvary, the Sacrifice was offered by Christ in a bloody man- ner. Truly, really, and substantially present on the altar under the appearances of bread and win~, it is still Christ, our High Priest, who offers Himself, the Infinite Victim to His Father in Heaven by the ministry of His priest, but in an un bloody manner. The sacrifice of the Cross merited our redemption; that of the altar applies the fruits of it to our souls. Just as the blood of the paschal lamb of old, protected each household from the destroying angel; so also, in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, we will Erote t ou ouls from the de- stroying angels-Lucifer and his cohorts, the devils. In the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, it is God who immolates and God who is immolated. 151
  • 149. At the offertory of the Mass, the Chalice containing wine, is raised by the priest and offered to God the Father in Heaven. The Chalice is a striking figure, which symbolizes and--.!:.e~ts the Sacred Heart of Jesus containing His blood. His Sacred Heart was pierced with a lance and blood and water gushed forth. The water represents His great Mercy and the waters of Baptism. His Precious Blood represents His great love and the Holy Eucharist. The Fathers of the Church insist that angels surround the altar at the moment of consecration. We should imitate the holy angels when Mass is being celebrated:-iI ey 4escend in squaaronsfrom th7Em py rean Heave-ns, and stand before our altars covered··~ith y_i~gs ~f reverential awe, waiting the whole of that essedtlme 10 order that they may intercede for us the more effectively, well knowing this to be the time most opportune, above every other, propitious for obtaining favors from Heaven. It is also believed that the Holy Angels who assisted Our Divine Lord from the Garden of~emaneto His cruel scourging at the pillar, the carrying of the heavy Cross, and the three hours He hung dying on the Cross, blood spilling and streaming forth, those An­ gels of the Passion, who caught and kept the Precious Blood from falling and spilling onto profane objects (saving it for the merits and fruits of the Holy Mass) are those same Angels who are present assisting the priest, surrounding the altar at the moment of conse­ crati0l1 to thegiorious, heavenly actiOn which takes place at the Minor Elevation. @ ®- Q This symbol represents Christ in the Blessed Sacrament in the Holy Eucharist; the center of Christian worship in the Catholic Church, the Mystical Body of Christ. Here, as it is shown, is also the way it is presented most beautifully at the end of the Canon of the Mass. It is known as the Minor Elevation. The Sacred Consecrated Host and Chalice of the Precious Blood beneath It, is raised and held up for all to see and adore. It is Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament on the altar in the Holy Eucharist, "My Lord and My God" Our High Priest, mediator between God and man, drawing all things to Himself. The Angel mentioned after the Consecration in the Canon presents them to His Father in Heaven. "Most humbly we implore 152
  • 150. Thee, Almighty God, bid these offerings to be brought by the hands of Thy Holy Angel unto Thy Altar above; before the face of Thy Divine Majesty"-"Through Him, with Him, and in Him, is to Thee God the Father Almighty and Eternal, in the Unity of the Holy Ghost all honor and all glory, world without end. Amen." All the heavenly court those above the earth, joined with those on the earth, and those under the earth, confess. "At the Name of Jesus every knee should bend of those in heayen, on earth, and under the earth and every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2; 10-11) ~ ~ - c:!:J The theme of this symbol is unity. Unity between God and man, between heaven and earth; between Church Triumphant and Church Militant. This symbol is the complement of them ail, as it completes the walk and proceedings Our Blessed Lord made to fulfin the work He promised His Heavenly Father, that is, to re­ deem and save the soul of mankind. This symbol represents the great unity that exist in Church Tri­ umphant, Church Suffering (not shown) and Church Militant. It is the Mystical Body of Christ; the One, Holy, Roman, Catholic and Apostolic Church instituted by Jesus Christ, the founder and head of the Church, to give grace to mankind. Christ, Who is seated at the right hand of the Father, resides in His chosen one, the Pope, who is the Vicar of Christ here on earth. The Holy Spirit dwells in him alone to guide the Church (militant) and the Bishops in Coun­ cil when in union with him. As disunity is the cause of our modern day problems, unity there­ fore is the answer for all men of good will. Cfr:j:) W To start, let us observe the three, concentric, tangent, circles, having upon each of them a large Cross representing it's Sa­ cred Holiness. As a whole they represent that which is lifted above ~t~e earth Heaven or Church Trium~ant. T e first circle of three circles represents the perfection of unity in the Trinity. God the Fa­ ther, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Three Divine Persons in One God. Th~~ircleof three circles represents the Life and Death 153
  • 151. of Jesus on the Cross, His resurrection from the dead, and His As­ cension into Heaven where He is seated at the right hand of the Fa­ ther and will come to judge the living and the dead. The third circle of three circles represents Our Blessed Mother and perfections of virtue in Her purity, Her chastity, and in Her vir­ ginity in bringing forth the Son of God, laying Him in the manger of the stable at Bethlehem, vesting Himselfwith human nature that He might die and in turn be that bread and wine: and through the Holy Mass, flesh and blood that man might eat Him and have life everlasting. Putting it another way it is Lily, Wheat, and Manger or Mary, Jesus, and Mankind. 8 Turning to the second half of the symbol, the cup or con­ tainer below the three concentric tangent circles, as a whole repre­ -7" sents that which is below the heavens, the earth or Church Militant. Church Militant here on earth is foundin th:"ree sacre mSfitutions, the home, school, and church. It is composed of families, teachers, (the nun) and priests, all of which come under the invisible head of the Church, Christ Himself in heaven, and through His appointed Vicar here on earth, the visible head of the church. The cup below the three concentric tangent circles contains the fundamental truths found above in the three circles. Above it is Trinity in Unity; Mary, Jesus, and Mankind, and b,elow it~ity in ) home, school, and church, and ~gether it is unity between heaven , and earth, where heaven is united to earth and earth is united to ~ - Heaven. It is God in Heaven joined with man on earth and man on ) earth is joined with God in Heaven. Above it is Mary, Jesus and Mankind. Below it is home, school, and church and these three or trinity are one. When these basic fundamental truths are practiced and appreciated i.!! the home; made known and learned~e school, all Christians come together in church to give public wor­ ship to God, it is to Jesus through Mary by man. When Jesus is found enthroned asKlngofthe-home, hearts be­ come well disposed. When Our Blessed Mother Mary as Queen of all hearts, the Mother of us all, is found ~the school, minds and wills become publicly and socially refurbished as they learn and are taught, "To Jesus, through Mary, by Mankind, and when Mankind 154
  • 152. is found in the Chur~h offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass; giv­ ing public and social worship to God, thus the community assem­ bling or congregating to give the lie to segregation, there is "Peace on Earth to Men of good will." in all the world. Therefore as man below the heavens on earth guides himselfby these truths and prin­ ciples abOVe the earth in heaven, there is unity, love, tranquility, and peace. Peace on earth to men of good will and all Christians in the World are united in one flock and under one Shepherd. t55
  • 154. THE HOLY SACRIFICE OF THE MASS. Given May 30, 1950 to Mary Ann by The Blessed Virgin Mary "When at Mass make a good Act of Contrition. You may say your own words from thy heart. God hears those that pour out their hearts to Him; offer thyself to Him, place thy petition to Him in prayer. Then, when Mass starts, follow the Priest as he starts the Adoration to God the Father. Use a missal so that you can proceed with the Priest. Watch thy Priest so that you can walk with him dur­ ing the Sacrifice of the Mass, with true devotion; then, My Child, being in the state of sanctifying grace, you go forth to receive Thy Lord with joy in thy heart. When you receive Him, you place Him into your heart. This is a very joyous period of the Mass. When you leave the Sanctuary of the Church, you carry Thy Lord with yOU. My Child, remember this when receiving Thy Lord in Holy Com­ munion, you have Thy Lord within you, above you and beside yQ.!!, to guide and protect through trials' ana tribulations of the dai The Angels rejoice in Heavenevery time one soul on ear~esThy Lord and God in Holy Communion." On May 24, 1970 (Trinity Sunday), Mary Ann knelt at the Sacred Spot of Apparitions looking upwards. She blest herself three times very reverently and said: "Thank you St. Francis." "Sister, because of the great confusion the time has come that what Our Holy Moth­ er instructed you on May 30, 1950, may now be used to help some who are misguided and confused souls, to give them the true mean­ ing of the Mass and of Her Priests. This you may bring forth." St. Francis said that if all of us would only appreciate what takes place during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass where all of this is pres­ ent, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost, Our Holy Mother, many Angels and rays from Heaven descending down upon the Altar. All attending Mass should keep in mind the great benefits they receive. .!.! does strengthen and sanctify~ and they c,!!!£o throu h the day knowing GOOw1 'be walking with them. (Mary Ann explained the limbs of the four ash trees were gold, the leaves green and in between silver). It showed the Priest holding up the Host, beneath the Host appeared the small figure of Christ signifying the True Presence or Transubstantiation. 157
  • 155. FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS (May 30, 1950) "My Child, the Blessed Trinity again comes to us during the Sac­ rifice of the Mass. God the Father is present during the renewal of the Son of God's Sacrifice of Calvary. My Child, Mass renews Christ's death and sacrifice which at the actual time was the shed­ ding of blood and death of My Divine Son. The renewal is the same only without the actual blood. The Sacrifice has not changed. There are those that claim the Mass is the remembrance ofCalvary. They err here My Child, it is the actual renewal, Sacrifice on the Cross. Here, My Child, I will explain a little. You will learn more later. My Divine Son, during and after the Last Supper, instructed the Apostlesto follow Him in full detail as He took the bread an~e, blesse3 It, offered it to God tlle Father in Heaven, turning the bread into His Body; He then poured some wine into the Chalice, which He again offers up to God the Father in Heaven as His Blood. My Child, the Chalice symbolizes the Passion, it stands for the Heart of Jesus from which flows Blood for man's salvation. The Chalice is the most Sacred of all Vessels used during the Sacrifice of the Mass. The wine used must be from pure grapes, fermented grape juice, other wines are not valid. Bread for use during and for the Consecration must be pure wheat. My Child, by Consecration, Thy Lord made it possible for man to unite himself with God; be­ fore this Sacrifice, man was separated from God by sin. My Son overcame this by His great sacrifice, cruel death in love and obedi­ ence to God the Father; thus, He sacrificed Himself for man's sel[~and S!!1 opening a way for man's redemption arid appi­ ness. The Priest during the Sacrifice of the Mass r~p'res~~ts Jesus Christ, Thy Lord, who is both Priest and Victim. He is the visible sacrifice of the Mass. My Child, Mass may be offered up for the liv­ ing, spiritual and temporal needs and for the eternal repose of the departed. At Mass you adore God as your Redeemer, you petition Him for thy needs in prayer. My Child, graces flow from the altars of God to enrich man; keep thyself in sanctifying grace. My Child, receive Thy Lord in Holy Communion every Sunday, daily if possible. 158
  • 156. My Child, Thy Lord loves you. Are you willing to receive Him into thy heart? My Child, keep Him in thy heart making it a temple for Thy Lord and God." WHO ARE THE ELECT! Words' of Our Holy Mother to Mary Ann Van Hoof on Nov. 12, 1973 Always remember that Priests have the highest position in the world, no matter what his status or his behavior; treat him as a rep resentative of Christ. There is no position greater than that of a Priest. The sad part of it is, many of the Priests do not recognize their position. They are the true representatives of Christ. No lay­ man's position is any higher no matter what the circumstances might be. They must remember that when they are called by the grace of God, they become "The Elect" and no one can hold a high­ er place than "the elect" who do God's Will. To be the man, the Christ, to save souls of the penitent; to administer to them in sick­ ness, in health and in the Sacraments, yes, they are "the Elect." By the Son of God whom they will defend, whose Body and Blood they handle, the consecrated hands, the anointed hands of Christ Himself, yes, they are "the elect." It is true there are elect in layman's life, but they hold no part that the Priest the representa­ tive of Christ holds. 159
  • 157. To better understand the Passion of Our Lord. as the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass GIVE ~~The Passion and Death of Our Lord Jesus Christ" to: Priests, Ministers, Seminaries, Convents, School Teachers, Religious Instructors, Instructors in Schools, Colleges, Universities, Officers of Knights of Columbus, Legion of Mary. Display them at meetings or gatherings. Distribute when you travel. Leave a copy with the proprietor of motels, owners of book stores, etc. An ideal gift for the Clergy, Religious and laity. Distribute to the aged, convalescent and to the sick. When we study the Passion of Our Lord, we learn the great redemptive value of suffering. Y.-9~l!ffering, when united with that of Christ, will have a similar redemptive value for you, or, for w omever it is offered. QUANTITY PRICES Soft Cover Hard Cover I copy $1.50 each I copy $2.50 each 10 copies 1.35 each 10 copies 2.35 each 25 copies 1.00 each 25 copies 2.00 each 50 copies .90 each 50 copies 1.90 each 100 copies .80 each 100 copies 1.80 each 500 copies .75 each 500 copies 1.75 each Wisconsin residents add 4% sales tax. For handling and postage please add 100/0. Order From: For My God and My Country, Inc. Necedah, Wis. 54646 160
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