What’S In Frances’ Fridge


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An eye-opening look into my fridge.

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What’S In Frances’ Fridge

  1. 1. What’s in Frances’ Fridge? <ul><li>A Photo Essay </li></ul><ul><li>By </li></ul><ul><li>Frances Morris </li></ul>
  2. 2. First, let’s examine the exterior… <ul><li>Look closely - you’ll notice that sitting amongst the clutter is a picture of a DFB baby…and it’s not Els or Jane. </li></ul><ul><li>I’ll give you a hint…she’s wearing blue and her name rhymes with “Burphy.” </li></ul>
  3. 3. Hi, Murphy! Red Sox Nation! Woo-Hoo!!
  4. 4. Gas Masks on, please. We’re going in. <ul><li>On the surface, it might not look too bad. </li></ul><ul><li>But wait. </li></ul><ul><li>Just wait. </li></ul>
  5. 5. The Fridge Door… <ul><li>I had no idea how much I could fit into the door of my fridge until I tried to empty it out. </li></ul><ul><li>I also had no idea how long most of this stuff had been hiding. </li></ul>
  6. 6. Now I wish I’d left the mystery unsolved. Instead I’m left with nightmares of things that should have been thrown away 4 years ago. <ul><li>Fridge Door </li></ul>
  7. 7. Four years ago I lived in a different house in a different town. <ul><li>Fridge Door </li></ul>
  8. 8. Conclusion: I travelled with spoiled food, and installed it in my new home. <ul><li>Fridge Door </li></ul>
  9. 9. If I plant it, will I have a garlic tree? <ul><li>How old does garlic have to be before it looks like this? </li></ul>
  10. 10. Grated Parmesan – Sell by: 02/07/08 <ul><li>A relative youngster in my fridge. </li></ul><ul><li>Only expired 8 months ago. </li></ul><ul><li>Pffft. I laugh at your expiration date! </li></ul>
  11. 11. Horseradish <ul><li>Do you like horseradish? </li></ul><ul><li>I do not. Neither does Robb. </li></ul><ul><li>Which is what makes the following so puzzling… </li></ul>
  12. 12. FIVE containers of Horseradish! <ul><li>Note that two of the bottles are unopened…. </li></ul>
  13. 13. Two are unopened…but ALL have expired. <ul><li>Sell By Dates ranging from December ’04 to August ’07 </li></ul><ul><li>Why did I bring expired Horseradish into my new home? </li></ul><ul><li>It’s a mystery. </li></ul>
  14. 14. Just the beginning… <ul><li>A Collection of Expired Foods I found in my Fridge Door. </li></ul><ul><li>Special Notes: </li></ul>
  15. 15. Yeast. Package says, Faster Rising before 12/2006. If I’m willing to wait, can I still use it? <ul><li>Fast-Rising Yeast </li></ul>
  16. 16. A bottle of Poland Spring Sparking Water. No. Sparkle. Left. At all. <ul><li>I prefer my water sparkle-free. </li></ul>
  17. 17. A jalapeno pepper. Sitting by itself. I did not buy it. PEELS. A blueberry pomegranate malt beverage. Even more gross than it sounds. Truly. <ul><li>Sweet and Spicy </li></ul>
  18. 18. Six different kinds of marinades and BBQ sauces. Again, one is unopened. I guess Robb is not a fan of Kraft… <ul><li>Paul, Jack, and Dino </li></ul>
  19. 19. Mustard. <ul><li>Five different kinds. </li></ul><ul><li>Not expired, but still worth examination… </li></ul>
  20. 20. French’s. A staple in just about every fridge in America. We’re fancy, so we have the “No Mess Cap” <ul><li>Mustard, cont’d. </li></ul>
  21. 21. Grey Poupon Deli Brown. In the Squeeze Bottle “because it’s so much more convenient.” (Look! It’s made with Horseradish!) <ul><li>Mustard, cont’d… </li></ul>
  22. 22. Grey Poupon Dijon. I make no apologies for owning this. It may be the height of snobbery, but it surely is delicious! <ul><li>Mustard, cont’d… </li></ul>
  23. 23. Inglehoffer Original Stone Ground. It says, “Full Strength”. I’m not sure what that means. (It is unopened.) <ul><li>Mustard, cont’d… </li></ul>
  24. 24. Wasabi Mustard. WTF??? <ul><li>Mustard, cont’d… </li></ul>
  25. 25. Before moving on to the rest of the fridge… …a distraction in the form of a cute baby. <ul><li>Awww… </li></ul>
  26. 26. This Queso was truly delicious… …when I made it 3 weeks ago. Think we can still eat it? It really was tasty… <ul><li>Queso Dip </li></ul>
  27. 27. I guess not. <ul><li>Beware Expired Queso </li></ul>
  28. 28. MIL brings these for when she watches the girls on Mondays. The Sell By on the package says April 21. Any chance it means April 2009?? <ul><li>MIL’s English Muffins </li></ul>
  29. 29. Two more submissions into the “Unopened and Expired” category. They’ve been in my fridge for at least 6 months. <ul><li>Cream Cheese </li></ul>
  30. 30. With the exception of an apple and the package of bacon, I dumped this whole thing in the garbage. I know what’ you’re thinking… …at least she saved that bacon! <ul><li>Jane and the Deli Drawer </li></ul>
  31. 31. Hopefully this is from Thanksgiving Weekend. Otherwise it is left over from a breakfast at my ILs…in October. <ul><li>Spiral-Cut Ham </li></ul>
  32. 32. Bought about a month ago, but one taste told me it was truly gross. So why did I put it back in the fridge?? <ul><li>Beef & Vegetable Soup </li></ul>
  33. 33. Look! Cute Baby! <ul><li>Shameless Attempt at Distraction </li></ul>
  34. 34. Taking a guess, I’d say this came from my Mom, who sent over leftovers one night so I wouldn’t have to cook. Could be two weeks old. Could be two months old. <ul><li>Basmati Rice </li></ul>
  35. 35. Probably only about a week old. Not bad, until you realize that it’s intended for an infant! <ul><li>Pea Puree </li></ul>
  36. 36. This infant, to be specific. Don’t worry, Jane! Mommy won’t feed you the yucky old peas! Nothing but Brand New peas for you, Sweetness! <ul><li>No need to call DCF on me </li></ul>
  37. 37. I made this for Els on Thanksgiving. It went very nicely over her broccoli. Now it has some unidentified liquid on top. <ul><li>Cheese Sauce with thyme </li></ul>
  38. 38. Not quite sure what’s in here. Frankly, I’m afraid to remove the cover… <ul><li>Mystery Bowl </li></ul>
  39. 39. Not too bad. Elsje’s green beans from last week. I was looking for those… <ul><li>Green Beans! </li></ul>
  40. 40. Robb hates sour cream, so I don’t use it often. So every time I need it I buy a new container. And then I leave it in the fridge, thinking I’ll find a use for it. I never find a use for it… These have all expired. <ul><li>Sour Cream x 3 </li></ul>
  41. 41. Robb and I have very different ideas on the proper way to package leftovers. This is his way. <ul><li>Roasted Chicken Flavored Rice </li></ul>
  42. 42. I cannot adequately describe the nastiness that was this salad. I got it because of the dressing. Ginger-Sesame sounds delicious. It was not. So why did I put it back in the fridge? It’s not like Robb was going to eat it! <ul><li>Broccoli Slaw with Ginger-Sesame Dressing </li></ul>
  43. 43. I’m no farmer, but I’m pretty sure celery is not supposed to look like this. <ul><li>Celery </li></ul>
  44. 44. I am sure I didn’t buy this. I vaguely remember my SIL bringing one over for her daughter. It was Thanksgiving 2007. <ul><li>Peaches? </li></ul>
  45. 45. Last chance to admire the pretty baby! She was amused by the multitude of snarly faces her Mommy made with each new discovery. <ul><li>Sweet Drooly Baby </li></ul>
  46. 46. I usually don’t use bleach since Robb has a sensitivity to it. On the other hand, desperate times call for desperate measures. <ul><li>Die, Germs! Die! </li></ul>
  47. 47. The few things that survived my “White Tornado”. Sooooo much better. <ul><li>Success! </li></ul>
  48. 48. Guess what I bought the next day. Horseradish. <ul><li>Fridge Door </li></ul>
  49. 49. The freezer will have to wait for another day. <ul><li>Oy. </li></ul>
  50. 50. I wonder what’s hiding behind all that baby food… <ul><li>My Freezer. </li></ul>
  51. 51. My reward for a job well done! Does anyone have and Sprite and pineapple juice? <ul><li>Stoli Razz </li></ul>