Interaksi saudara sekandung


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Interaksi saudara sekandung

  1. 1. SIBLING CONNECTION “People may think that you are a big brat, but to me you are just a big bother, you can be overprotective but hey I still love you. Thank you for lighting up my life and always being there for me. Sometimes you say for me not to love you, but I always will no matter what. U fill my heart with love and joy” Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  2. 2. SIBLING DEFINITION; the obvious Brother or a sister; One of two or more individuals having one common parent; Merriam Webster …usually taken to mean that the two people are genetically very close, though it is not always necessarily the case, i.e. an adoption. In most societies throughout the world siblings will usually grow up in the same household. This closeness is marked with the development of strong emotional associations between them; Wikipedia Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  3. 3. SIBLING DEFINITION; the law "Biological Sibling” means “A sibling, by birth; of an adopted person.” “A brother, sister, or half-sibling of a child who is being placed in foster care or being placed for adoption.” “Sibling Group” means “biological siblings who have been raised together or have lived together.” Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  4. 4. SIBLING DEFINITION; the memorySHARE YOUR MEMORY…… Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  5. 5. SIBLING DEFINITION; the emotionSHARE YOUR EMOTION…… Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  6. 6. REALITY CHECK1. Almost 600,000 youth in foster care2. 75% are separated from at least one sibling3. + those separated by other out-of- home care4. = countless youth void of the people who shape their lives Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  7. 7. WHY ARE SIBLINGS SEPARATED? Parentified Child Special Needs Sibling Rivalry Number of siblings in the family Different fathers Come into the system at different times Abuse Adoption Potential Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  8. 8. PARENTIFIED CHILD; REASONABLE? Separate to give him/her a chance to be a child Younger siblings placed in unfamiliar home without parents – and – older siblings Older sibling feels responsible – loses identity – role Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  9. 9. SPECIAL NEEDS (needs to receive more focused attention) ; REASONABLE? With siblings, they will receive more thoughtful, maybe knowledgable, attention Placement alone distorts sense of place in family Placement with other youth with special needs may = less attention Siblings provide support and appropriate behavior Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  10. 10. SIBLING RIVALRY (Separate to cease or prevent sibling rivalry) ; REASONABLE? Sibling rivalry is a part of sibling connection – a fact of life Unconditional love Learn to handle conflict Learn to resolve differences Understanding and acceptance Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  11. 11. NUMBER OF CHILDREN IN FAMILY; REASONABLE? There are too many children to place together – can’t find a home Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  12. 12. DIFFERENT FATHERS; REASON Biology Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  13. 13. COME INTO SYSTEM AT DIFFERENT TIMES; REASON Birth order New challenges Subsequent move Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  14. 14. ABUSE; REASON Physical, sexual, emotional Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  15. 15. ABUSE Physical, sexual, emotional REASONABLE? May inflict abuse on another victim Evaluate sibling rivalry versus sibling hostilities Evaluate resources Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  16. 16. ADOPTION POTENTIAL; REASON  It is more likely that younger children  will be adopted; older children will  experience long-term foster care Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  17. 17. ADOPTION POTENTIAL; REASONABLE? Teen and adult adoptions are on the rise Siblings ‘will’ reunite; some older intervening to become guardians for younger siblings ¼ vs. ¾ - memories for the future Deserving of family - together Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  18. 18. 2006, “The Science of Siblings” Time - July issue. From the time they are born, our brothers and  sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators,  our role models and cautionary tales. They are our  scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates,  counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They  teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to;  how to conduct friendships and when to walk away  from them. Sisters teach brothers about the  mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the  puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively  late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us.  Our siblings may be the only people well ever know  who truly qualify as partners for life (Jeffrey Kluger.) Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  19. 19. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Five Groups 1. Early childhood 2. Early/elementary 3. Adolescence 4. Adulthood 5. Old Age Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  20. 20. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Early childhood Constant companions and playmates - influence social and cognitive learning – skills of helping, sharing and cooperating Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  21. 21. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Early/elementary Interaction with siblings extend beyond home to influence interactions with peers Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  22. 22. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Adolesence; ebb and flow of independence and individuality; relationship taken for granted; space yet comfort in knowing they exist Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  23. 23. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Adulthood While ‘own families’ may take priority - guidance, support and sharing comes from siblings Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  24. 24. SIBLING LIFE SPAN Old Age Siblings become companions again, sometimes even living together when their own kids move on Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  25. 25. SIBLING BILL OF RIGHTS Requires that the child welfare agency prepare a description of efforts made to keep siblings together and/or provide reasons siblings are not placed together Provisions for post-permanency visits with siblings Requires the child welfare agency and/or court to consider siblings in placement and/or permanency planning Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  26. 26. SIBLING BILL OF RIGHTS Provides for an exemption from limits on the size of a foster home to accommodate placement of a sibling group Statement of legislative intent to support sibling relationships Right to, and provision for, maintaining contact Sibling relationship considered in determining "best interest" Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  27. 27. NATIONAL SIBLINGCONNECTION DAY, March 1, 2006 Whereas sibling relationships are among the longest lasting and most significant relationships in life; Whereas brothers and sisters share history, memories, and traditions that bind them together as family; Whereas it is estimated that over 65 percent of children in foster care have siblings, and are often separated when they are placed in the foster care system, adopted, or confronted with different kinship placements; Whereas children in foster care have a greater risk of emotional disturbance, difficulties in school, and problems with relationships than their peers; Whereas the separation of siblings as children causes additional grief and loss; Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  28. 28. NATIONAL SIBLINGCONNECTION DAY Resolved, That the Senate-- (1) designates March 1, 2006, as `Siblings Connection Day; (2) encourages the people of the United States to celebrate sibling relationships on this day; and (3) supports efforts to respect and preserve those sibling relationships that are at risk of being disrupted due to the placement of children into the foster care system. Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  29. 29. STATES; LISTEN TO YOUTH WHEREAS, The policy of the State of Illinois mandates that contact be maintained between siblings pre-termination while they are in foster care or youth in care and provides for possible contact post majority via the Illinois Adoption Registry and Medical Information Exchange 13 states provide specific acceptable reasons for separating siblings 32 states address sibling visitation in policies 14 states have consent decrees mandating sibling visitation after adoption 5 states allow judges to order sibling visitation over the adoptive parent’s suggestions Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  30. 30. TWO DAYS = CONNECTION?Most frequent visitation = Weekly VisitsOne hour a week52 weeks a year52 hoursJUST OVER TWO DAYS A YEAR Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  31. 31. MAINEAct to Support Sibling Rights in Child Welfare Custody Matters: Kala Clark2007; siblings’ right to regularly scheduled visits whenever reasonable and practical and in the best interests of the children!“I love you 4ever and always. I wish that I could do a lot of stuff with you. Remember the good dayz? I wish that it could be like that. I love you with all my heart. I wish that we could be best friends. I will be glad if I could see you more. Love always and forever,” Jess Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  32. 32. YOUNG - ADULTSRights of older siblings to file suit for access to a younger sibling….custody of younger“Hey bro- I think of you all the time. When I see you, you make me laugh. I have lots of fun. Hey maybe some day when you are 18 you can move in with me, okay? You are the best, my best friend, my best brother Number #1,” From Rebecca Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  33. 33. RESOURCES AND SPECIAL THANKS• American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law;• Camp To Belong;• Casey Family Programs;• National Resource Center for Family-Centered Practice and Permanency Planning;• Neighbor to Neighbor;• Neighbor to Family;• Susan Dougherty;• Youth Leadership Advisory Team; Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  34. 34. LYNN’S SENTIMENTWhen I think of the closeness we share now…I wish we would have known each other when we were kids… Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  35. 35. SIB ACTION PLAN• S = Personally; SHARE • Professionally; sense of belonging• I = Personally; INSPIRE • Professionally; imagine• B = Personally; BIRTHDAY • Professionally; birthday Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  36. 36. GIVE SIBLINGSTHEIR RIGHT TO REUNITE® To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  Weknow each other as we always were.  We know each others hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time.   ~Clara Ortega Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006
  37. 37. GIVE SIBLINGSTHEIR RIGHT TO REUNITE®Lynn Price, Ashoka Fellow Karyn Schimmels, M.P.A.Social Entrepreneur, Speaker Camp To Belong Volunteer and Author Advisory Board Member and9445 Sand Hill Place Public Child Welfare state employeeHighlands Ranch, CO 80126888-7BELONG 8905 Southwest Avon Court303-791-0915 Tigard, OR 97224 Real Belonging; Give Siblings Their Right to Reunite, and Sibling Bracelet available on website Lynn Price and Karyn Schimmels, 2006