Peng Yep Siang
Foundation in Natural and Built Environment (FNBE)
How many times was I drowned in stress because of assignment, because of expectation, because
of the demand I make upon myself? In pursuit of the architecture career, I have experienced
firsthand the tremendous workload and all the difficulties that come along. All of my peers in the
course have experienced it too and now a lot of them are throwing in the white flag.Consecutive
sleepless nights, tremendous workload and the high expectation of lecturers. The stress is too
overwhelming. Changing course becomes the most obvious option. Architecture isn’t a path that
can be taken without a certain level of determination. If it is that easily for one to change course,
then they probably didn’t possess that required determination. It is still fine if they realize that
this is not their path at this stage. However, there are also seniors who quit when they almost
reached the finishing line. These are truly saddening cases.
Whenever our seniors have a presentation, most of us would check the seniors’ work. A lot of
my friends were amazed at their work and maybe slightly stressed. It is true that their works
completed in the short amount of time is quite impressive and it is not something all of us can
achieve now. However, I strongly believed that when we reached their stage, all of us, not just
me, could have done the same. That is why I wasn’t as amazed as they were. I confessed my
thought and some of my friends said I am full of myself. It seems not all of us are confidence of
our own ability.
Just recently, I have a dear course mate complaining that she loves the course and it is what she
wants but she can’t take the stress. Passion is not enough to push her forward. Personally, I won’t
say I wasn’t stressed but I have never thought of giving up this path, at least not yet. After our
few talks with my friends, I noticed a few difference between us. I have fewer worries. Could it
be because I did not leave far away from home to study in a stranger land? Some of them are
worried that they might be able to spend time with their family, some are worried that they might
waste their health, and some are even worried of the financial load of the course. These are not
unnecessary worries yet I don’t seem to find myself concern with all these. Was it ignorance or
selfishness that keeps me moving forward? Hope my friends can overcome their stress one way
Sarcasm and a joke are different, apparently. I wasn’t exactly a very good child when I was
younger. I like to make fun of others and make really mean, baseless remarks on others. Then, as
I grew, I understand I was wrong and I try to change but the old habit isn’t entirely gone. Some
of my friends say they never encounter someone as mean as me. I still offer my sarcastic remarks
when I am irritated or impatient.
Once, I was teamed up with a particular with a certain group for a project. Normally, I wouldn’t
get angry at petty stuff but there is this particular group member that is really slow in
understanding in just about anything. That alone still wouldn’t me impatient. My ignorance is no
joke, I can almost withdraw myself from most things. Well, it is not something to be proud of but
it is something I have developed to keep me from surviving. This is not an exaggeration. Many
things happen between me and my father when I was way younger and somehow this blind
ignorance was gave birth in me. That is a really long story.
Anyway, back to topic. On top of weak understanding, that member insist to keep a foot in
almost everything and cross the boundary into others privacy. There is a lot of stuff that we
aren’t ready to share even among our dearest. Her disrespect to others’ privacy and continual
invasion albeit being rejected in a direct manner is what really got me that time. I really lost
myself then and my inner self took control. I threw in a lot of horrible comments but I did try to
cool down and explain to her my thought. It was a waste of effort because she couldn’t
understand even after I explained for ages. I gave up. I think it was from then she would always
act differently even when I try to make up for that incident. I guess it is a normal reaction. I
didn’t really make an effort because it was fine with me. This is my ignorance.
Sarcasm is the impression I left in many people. This kind of people is usually a lone wolf.
Again, that is true and fine for me. One of good friend say I should reflect on my action. I guess I
should try it, again. This isn’t my first attempt but I didn’t make it in the previous tries because it
suffocates me to suppress my true thoughts. I guess I should try to trim it down a little.