Everybody Loves Bertie, Chapter 16: Last Man StandingPresentation Transcript
To recap: This is my attempt at a Polyamory Project Challenge, created by princedeej28. The point of the challenge is to romance more than one Sim and earn enough points to make Hugh Hefner jealous.
Last time, Vanessa’s illness progressed along usual lines and she lost more of herself. Corey and Bertie set up shifts to care for her, but it is not the easiest task in the world, especially since Vanessa is the youngest of the three.
Nobody’s life bars are looking all that great, either…
Life has been continuing as close to normal as it has been recently. I still haven’t figured out who’s kicking over the trash can.
At the moment, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that it’s Vanessa. Speaking of whom…
Caring for her has become almost routine.
COREY: Bertie? Why is Vanessa taking a sponge bath?
BERTIE: She wanted to bathe hewsewf. I thought it wouwd be good fow hew. She usuawwy doesn’t pay attention any mowe.
COREY: Yes, okay, fine. But why a sponge bath? The tub’s right there.
BERTIE: It’s what she wanted. Besides, she might swip in the tub and bweak something. Do you want to be the one to expwain to hew why she can’t get out of bed?
COREY: Good point. -- Are you enjoying your bath, Vanessa?
VANESSA ( happily ): I’m all wet.
Nothing phases the household anymore.
COREY ( on the phone ): She’s having a good day today. Very agreeable. Zenon’s helping out for a bit, it’s that easy.
VANESSA: I like you!
ZENON: Thank you. I like you too. Shall we get you to bed?
VANESSA: Are you coming with me?
ZENON: No, I’m going to have breakfast. But I’ll tuck you in.
Ten years post-diagnosis is an excellent run; Vanessa managed seven.
Vanessa Adams, age forgotten. Vanessa was never actually married to Bertie, but she was a part of his life for fifty years, at least. Her relationship with Bertie’s husband Corey was rocky, to put it mildly, but she mostly stayed on good terms with Bertie himself. Vanessa and Bertie had one son, Albert, with whom she was also on good terms. She probably did not deserve to develop dementia, no matter how dull she was, and for that I am sorry.
Rest in peace, Vanessa.
The funeral was well attended. Bertie even wore a suit, and if it was navy instead of black, well, at least it was a suit.
Privately, everyone thought that it was a relief that Vanessa had finally reached the end of her life bar, but when Cecil made a remark to that effect, he was asked to go wait in the car.
JOSEPHINE ( awkwardly ): How are you holding up, Grampa?
BERTIE: I think I’ww take Uncwe Cowey on a honeymoon. We nevew had one.
COREY: You mean that? You’re not just talking out your ( glances at Josephine and changes his next word to ) ear?
BERTIE: Why wouwd I say it if I didn’t mean it? You’we my wock, my towew of stwength, and I owe it to you a miwwion times ovew!
JOSEPHINE ( extra awkwardly, as her grandfathers start making cow eyes at each other ): I actually meant where are we going for the funeral lunch?
COREY: Bertie, did you really mean what you said earlier? About having a honeymoon?
BERTIE: Of cowse I did! Why do you keep asking me that?
COREY: I just can’t believe it. A real honeymoon! Time with just the two of us! Where will we be going?
BERTIE: I bought a wittwe place on Twikki Iswand…
COREY: Squeeeeeeee !
BERTIE: Ow! My back !
(This is Bertie’s idea of a “little place,” by the way.)
No points for guessing the very first thing Bertie rolled up a Want for.
Points for me, though.
I’m not sure if I should really be counting points now, since Bertie is down to one partner and this is a poly amory challenge. But then, I left the high score in the dust ages ago, so what does it matter? I may as well let Bertie and Corey have their fun.
And have fun they did.
COREY: I’m happy. I’m really, really happy. You make me happy. You always have.
BERTIE: I thought you hated me sometimes.
COREY: Sometimes I did. You made me pretty miserable, too. Or maybe it was me making myself miserable. But you’ve made me happy an awful lot.
BERTIE: I wuv you, too. ( as a thought occurs to him ) Hey, how wong has it been since we hit the bedwoom?
COREY: Too long.
They were not entirely consumed with romantic pursuits, mind. Corey did a lot of sunbathing and ended up with a tan. Bertie found a clamshell and some colored beach glass. They both watched the waves a lot, and they collaborated on several sand castles.
It was a quiet and restful trip, which was much needed.
Especially since this is what there was to come back to.
Followed almost immediately by this.
BEVERLY: My turn already?
GRIM REAPER: I’m afraid so, Mrs. Sanders.
BEVERLY: ( sigh ) Why does this not surprise me?
I knew that everyone’s life bars would run out at close to the same time, but I had no idea how close…
Zenon (Rudelansky) Miguel, 70 years old. Zenon was the drummer for Princes of Charming. Although he could have played any of the instruments and wasn’t actually a terrible vocalist, he chose the drums because his attractive young(ish) professor had a thing for drummers. Once he graduated, he wasted no time in using this to his advantage; they were married until her death in Chapter 12.
Rest in peace, Zenon.
Beverly (Mazza) Sanders, 71 years old. Beverly was a random dormie who took a liking to Gerard; he liked her right back, so she became part of the household and quietly made herself useful for the next fifty years. Since Beverly was deliberately not involved in all the Drama going on, she tended to be much happier than anyone else.
Rest in peace, Beverly.
With just Bertie and Corey in the house, there is more time for leisure activities.
BERTIE: Wook! It’s Awexandew Goth! And he’s naked!
COREY: Hmmm. Usually when you bring up Alexander Goth, you’re only two or three moves from losing. Which moves, though? That’s the question.
BERTIE: Did I mention that he’s naked ?
COREY: And that usually means that you really shouldn’t have done the last move. ( studies the board ) Aha. ( moves a piece ) Checkmate.
COREY: Yeah, yeah, the phone. I got it.
BERTIE ( starting to panic ): No, Cowey, it’s --
COREY ( to the phone ): Keep your pants on, I’m coming. It’s not like you’re on fire or anything.
BERTIE ( truly panicked ): Cowey, I think you weawwy need to tuwn awound now!
COREY: Now what? It can’t be all that bad.
COREY: Holy shredded files! No no no no, that’s not right.
GRIM REAPER: .e. it i..
COREY: No, it can’t be. I just won , for Iolanthe’s sake! I just outlasted everybody to get my husband all to myself! I deserve this time!
GRIM REAPER: .orr., M.. M.C.ell... Ca.’. ar… wi.. th. gl….
BERTIE: I can’t get ovew thewe to pwead, Cowey. Mistew Weapew, couwd you give me anothew chance, maybe?
GRIM REAPER: .orr.. .im..ed ti.. off...
Corey (Jeffress) McClellan, 76 years old. Corey made his first appearance in Chapter 10 of Already in Progress as Architecture Guy, and was considered as a spouse for several Sims from different generations of that story before being deemed a perfect fit for Bertie. Corey probably would have disagreed with me about that -- and he never saw fit to talk to me after the first time he caught Bertie cheating -- but he certainly made the challenge more interesting. He was also a large and important part of Albert’s life, providing stability and consideration that neither of Albert’s Romance Sim biological parents could manage. He will be much missed.
Rest in peace, Corey.
ALBERT: Are you okay, Dad?
BERTIE: How am I going to go on, Awbie? I’m aww awone!
ALBERT: You’re not alone, Dad. You’ve still got me, and Buttercup, and Jo and Cecil…
BERTIE ( eagerly ): And you’we aww going to move in with me?
ALBERT: Dad, we rattled around in that house with eight people and a dog. But Buttercup and I, we thought that maybe we could find somewhere we’d all fit.
BERTIE: …Did you just caww me “Dad”?
ALBERT: Yes, Dad. Several times.
BERTIE: You haven’t cawwed me that since you hit pubewty. ( sniffles ) Okay. Wet’s do it.
And they did.
Bertie fit right in, and he was very happy.
For a while, anyway.
Is it that time awweady?
’ .rai. .o, M.. McC….an.
Aw, nuts! I was just about to beat my gwandson at dawts.
Bertram McClellan, 82 years old. Bertie was the lead singer of Princes of Charming, and a loving partner to multiple people, both male and female. Under normal circumstances, I would never have considered a Polyamory Project Challenge, but it seemed tailor-made for Bertie, and both he and I had fun with it.
Rest in peace, Bertie. We loved you.
The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order:
It’s an hour glass, Ms. Adams.
It measures your life.
… Would you like to come with me, Ms. Adams?
I’m afraid so, Mrs. Sanders.
Yes it is.
Sorry, Mr. McClellan. Can’t argue with the glass.
Sorry. Limited time offer.
’ Fraid so, Mr. McClellan.
You’ll get him next time. But for now, you’ve got several people who are very eager to see you. If you get my meaning.
Score for this round
Assorted romantic interactions x 8: 40
Woohoo x 2: 60
Score as of last round: 620
GRAND TOTAL: 720
And with that, I have beaten the official High Score by 520 points, or almost quadruple. I guess that makes me world champion, huh?
This concludes Everybody Loves Bertie . Thank you so much for reading and for all your lovely comments all the way through!