Hello, and welcome to 100 Days of Awesome, starring theTsvirkunov family! My plan is to write this as much like a realityTV show as I can. This may be hampered by the fact that I neverwatch reality TV…The 100 Days Challenge was created by Callista over at the oldBoolprop; the only change I have made is to explicitly decide thatit’s okay for Sims to go to school or work. (Callista was silent onthat point.)Callista allowed one day for your CAS Sims to get settled in, butsince the Tsvirkunovs are a pre-established family, I’m ignoringthat.
DESCARTES (V.O.): We decided to take turns getting up toanswer the phone at midnight, and it’s my turn today.
DESCARTES: Maximize a hobby? How do we do that?DESCARTES: What’s Free Time?DESCARTES: Sure, I’ll hear the alternate task.DESCARTES: But there’s nobody in the house who can get ascholarship. You have to be a Teen. How about if we maximize aninterest instead?DESCARTES: Awesome. We can do that.
DESCARTES (V.O.): We’re going to need to maximize an interesttoday, but there’s nowhere to get a magazine at this time of night. Ithink I’m going to go do a little shopping for Abbey. She reallyhad some issues with the whole transition-to-Elder thing.
DESCARTES (V.O.): I don’t really know what she’d like, so Ifigure I’ll just buy one of everything. It’ll only come to thirty grandor so, which is nothing. At the very least, she’ll have somethingshe can wear when she goes to pick out stuff for herself. Abbeyreally got the short end of the stick this transition. Oh -- and I haveto remember to keep track of how long I spend shopping. Howlong is 4:30 to 6?
PONG (V.O.): I thought Abbey’s outfit was okay. I mean, it couldhave been worse. Um.
PONG (V.O.): I love Rebecca, I really do! Chemistry isn’t all it’scracked up to be. And with a little artificial help, gray hair will be adefinite downer.
PONG: Um, maybe I’ll be sure not to be alone with my mother-in-law for a little bit, though. The new wardrobe really helps. Withthat. Um.PONG: Will Rebecca be seeing this at all?
ABBEY (V.O.): It was really sweet of Descartes to go and get menew clothes, but has the man never heard of mail order? Now Ican’t spend the time at the library I’d like to.
ABBEY (V.O.): I don’t always spend a long time at the library --sometimes it only takes half an hour to pick out more books than Ican carry. …There, that’s a good selection of magazines.
REBECCA: Pong, do you have to drool over the centerfold likethat?PONG: But it’s a fold-out of the Internal Revenue ServiceSupporting Organization 509(a)(3) Flowchart!REBECCA: Since when do you care about tax regulations?PONG: Come on, I’m trying to help out here.
REBECCA: I completely changed my look after I was walkingdown the street and somebody called me “Marisa.” (laughing) Canyou imagine that? Somebody thinking I was Marisa Bendett?(stops laughing suddenly) Yeah, I couldn’t either.
ANASTASIA (V.O.): How come I’m the one who has to build aninterest in Toys?ABBEY (V.O.): Because you have zero interest in it.ANASTASIA (V.O.): Exactly! Why can’t I work on Paranormal,like you?ABBEY (V.O.): Because this will take longer, and that meansyou’ll get into fewer fights with the neighbors for spying on them.ANASTASIA (V.O.): Hey, if they don’t want me to see whatthey’re doing, they shouldn’t leave their curtains open!
ANASTASIA: Hee hee hee! I just love that Goofus!**Note from esmeiolanthe: “Goofus and Gallant” is a feature in Highlights, apopular children’s magazine in the States. It teaches kids good social behaviorsby contrasting the polite, well-behaved Gallant with the inconsiderate Goofus.
DESCARTES (V.O.): Did we manage it?ABBEY (V.O.): Anastasia did.DESCARTES (V.O.): What’d she max?ABBEY (V.O.): Toys.*DESCARTES (V.O.): That’s my girl!*Note from esmeiolanthe: I only just figured out how to take screenshots withthis computer. When I took this one, the computer made a really nasty loudstaticky sound and when I went back to my desktop, it was all messed up.There will be no more screenshots in this or any other story.
DESCARTES (V.O.): This is a good day. Not only did wecomplete our first objective, but I made my LifeTime Want!Corrupted files, but it feels good to be a Space Pirate! (reflectively)Although in space, no one can hear you “Arrrrrrr!”
ABBEY (V.O.): It was my turn to answer the phone today, and Ihave some ideas about how to accomplish our task. It’s a littleearly in the morning to put them into action, though.
ABBEY: Does anybody here know Oakapple Couderc?PONG: Who?DESCARTES: Oh, you mean Cousin Oakapple? ’Lanthe, it’s beenyears since I talked to him. Why do you ask?ABBEY: Because he’s a Grilled Cheese Sim. Today’s objective isto talk about Grilled Cheese with a Sim you’ve never met and havethe conversation accepted.DESCARTES: But Cousin Oakapple wouldn’t come over if Iasked. I haven’t spoken to him in years.ABBEY: Neither have I. But I’ve run my Social down so that wecan become friends in one phone call.
ANASTASIA: Isn’t that weird? (in a goofy voice) “Hi, we nevertalked to each other before an hour ago, but you’re my new bestestfriend in the whoooole world!”ABBEY: Don’t knock it; it works.REBECCA: How will that help? You’ll know him after that.ABBEY: Yes, but none of you kids do. I’ll invite him over, andone of you can talk to him about grilled cheese.PONG: But won’t one of us have to be Grilled Cheese to be able toinitiate the conversation?
ABBEY: Yes. Who has the lowest aspiration?REBECCA and ANASTASIA (together): Not it!PONG: I’m low green, Abbey. Will that work?ABBEY: That should do nicely, Pong. Thanks.
PONG (V.O.): It, um. It feels really… weird. Like, um, have youever put too much peroxide on your hair? Like that. But different.PONG: IIIIIIIIIIIII cooooouuuuuuld rrrrrrrrreaaaaalllllly goooooofoooooorrr aaaaaaaa griiiiiiiiiiilled cheeeeeeesesaaaaaaaaandwiiiiiiich abbbbbbbbbbout noooooooooowwwww…!
ANASTASIA: Come on, Mom! Aren’t you friends with him yet?ABBEY: Keep your hair on. (into the phone) Hi, Oakapple?Listen, do you want to come over?
OAKAPPLE COUDERC: Where’s… Abbey?REBECCA: She had to go to work. Do you want a sandwich?OAKAPPLE: Well, I… Is that… grilled cheese?
PONG: Was the grilled cheese good? I made it myself. I used anice gouda on a foccacia bread, but I’m thinking that maybe anartisan bread would be better.
OAKAPPLE: Really? You sound… just like my… husband. He’salways… going on about… different breads… and cheeses. But…I always say… you can’t beat a… nice pasteurized processed…cheese food sandwich.PONG: On white bread?OAKAPPLE: Wonder… Bread. And you… butter the pan.PONG: That sounds awesome!OAKAPPLE: It doesn’t get… any better!
OAKAPPLE: Nice to meet… you, Pong. Any… time you want…to talk about… grilled cheese, you… give me a… call, okay?PONG: Sure. But I’m going to be switching back to Knowledgesoon.OAKAPPLE: Doesn’t matter. You… appreciate grilled… cheesenow.PONG: That is very true. You take care, now.OAKAPPLE: You… too.
PONG (V.O.): It feels like… Like… Did you ever get your hairwashed at the hairdresser’s? Like that. But different.PONG: Rebeeeeecca, is it okaaaaaay if I get abducted byaaaaaaliens toniiiiight…?REBECCA: Fine by me.
DESCARTES (V.O.): What I like best about gardening is -- hey,where are you going?PONG: Auuuuuuugh! Fire! Fire! Firefirefire!
ANASTASIA: Auuuuuuuugh! Fire! Fire! Firefirefire! …Oh wait,it’s out.PONG: I thought we were going to die!REBECCA: Me too!ANASTASIA: Hey, Mr. Fireman, nice job there. Let me give you alittle something for your trouble.
PONG: No, I really thought we were going to die. That that was it,game over.REBECCA: So did I. But we’re not dead. And do you know whatI’d like to do right now?PONG (with much awkwardness): Rebecca, there are camerashere!
ANASTASIA: Today’s assignment is to woohoo a service Sim!This one has my name all over it! I am so glad I got that fireman’snumber last night. He was hot. Wasn’t he hot? And he counts as aservice Sim! (laughs delightedly) Oh man, this is going to be great!
REBECCA: Um, Pong? I think I might be pregnant…ANASTASIA: Don’t be ridiculous. When you’re pregnant, youdon’t keep your own pajamas. You’re just fat.PONG: Please don’t call my fiancée fat.ANASTASIA: Okay, pleasingly plump.REBECCA: Pregnant. Ooooooo….
REBECCA: (vile and horrible vomiting noises) A little privacy,please?!
ANASTASIA: So I should call the fireman, right?PONG: If you want. What if he’s working?ANASTASIA: Good point. I’ll call for a maid, too.DESCARTES: What are you talking about?PONG: Today’s task.ANASTASIA: I’m going to date a service Sim.(Rebecca vomits again)DESCARTES: What’s wrong with Rebecca?PONG: Pregnant.
ABBEY (dubiously): We kind of decided not to tell my husbandexactly what today’s task was. He… wouldn’t take it well.
DESCARTES: How could you do this? What were you thinking?That’s my daughter, you bastard!PONG: Well, she is my fiancée…DESCARTES: And I’m breaking the engagement!PONG: I don’t think you can do that…DESCARTES: I can do anything I want! I am made of Awesome!You are a slimy scumbag!PONG (with false bravado): Well, I hope the baby takes after itsgranddad then.DESCARTES: Don’t talk to me about grandchildren!
DESCARTES: What do you mean, I’m not taking it well? I’mtaking it great!ABBEY: No you’re not.DESCARTES: Yes I am! Oooooh, how dare he touch my babygirl?ABBEY: She’s a grown woman now. And you would have donethe same thing before we were married if I’d let you.DESCARTES: That’s not the point. This is my daughter!
ABBEY (V.O.): Yeah, it’s probably for the best that we didn’t tellhim about today’s task…
ANASTASIA (V.O.): I’ve invited Abhijeet the fireman over thisafternoon, just in case, but it’s in the bag with the maid. I mean,everybody knows what they’re like!DON PLATZ, THE MAID: Yeah, see, the thing about Man-MaidLust? It’s fiction. As in “not true.” I just clean stuff.
ANASTASIA (V.O.): Okay, so that was a little tiny hiccup. Butthe fireman is a sure thing. I think his name is Abhijeet…
REBECCA: We should probably get married today.PONG: Okay.REBECCA: It’ll probably make Dad feel better about the baby.PONG: That’s good.REBECCA: Plus, I don’t want to have to wear one of thosehideous maternity wedding dresses.PONG: You’ll be beautiful no matter what. But some of thosedresses are pretty awful.
ANASTASIA: Say, do you use something special on your hands?They’re so smooth! Strong and smooth. I thought firefighters hadlots of calluses.ABHIJEET MCCLELLAN, THE FIREMAN: Oh, I’ve got myshare of calluses. But I use this “Bag Balm” stuff every night.ANASTASIA: Bag Balm?ABHIJEET MCCLELLAN: Yeah. You’ll never believe this, but itwas developed for use on cow udders!ANASTASIA: Cow udders! Really? (fondles Abhijeet’s handagain) You’d never guess!
ANASTASIA (V.O.): It’s going great, really. I think Abhijeet --Abhijeet? Yeah, that’s right. I think Abhijeet is Romance too.(confidently) He’s kind of shy-acting sometimes, but I think he’sjust playing hard-to-get.
ANASTASIA (V.O.): No, no! He didn’t leave early! I had to getready for my sister’s wedding! You have to do these things right!I’ll call him back over after. You’ll see. It’s just a lot ofpreparation, is all.
REBECCA (V.O.): I don’t know who she is. She comes home withDad sometimes. I think maybe they work together? But I have noidea what happened to her clothes. She was dressed when she gothere. At least, I’m pretty sure she was. Wasn’t she?
REBECCA: Thank you so much for coming! It was great to seeyou!REBECCA (V.O.): I mean, it’s not much of a wedding, gettingmarried in the living room in a hurry before you need thatmaternity wedding gown, but you don’t want some weird old ladyin underwear hanging around.
ABBEY (V.O.): It was a very nice wedding.DESCARTES (V.O.): Hmmmph.ABBEY (V.O.): No, it was. (fondly) It reminded me of ourwedding. You did the ceremony for that one, too. Remember?DESCARTES (V.O.): Yes, well. Ship’s captains can do that. Itshould have been earlier.ABBEY (V.O.) (teasingly): And do you remember why we weremarried in the living room?DESCARTES (V.O.): …Yeah, okay. Okay.
DESCARTES: …Abbey didn’t believe in premarital woohoo. I gottired of waiting.
ANASTASIA (V.O.): Why wouldn’t Dad go to bed? I know hewas tired! And I can’t invite, er… Abhijeet over to woohoo himwhen Dad’s still awake! Or anybody! Dad’d probably wind upmaking me marry him!
ANASTASIA (V.O.): It’s kind of weird that he’d like that, isn’t it?I mean, how can he feel it through all that rubberized canvas?Esme, that stuff tastes terrible! But I could have handled that. Ireally could.
ANASTASIA (V.O.): I guess I panicked? I mean, I was on adeadline. And what the system crash kind of a deadline ismidnight, anyway? Why couldn’t it be something more reasonable,like six in the morning? I could totally have scored with him by sixin the morning!
ANASTASIA: I just don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. I’ve never hadthat problem before. Never.ANASTASIA: I’ll just have to do better next time, I guess.
ScoreMissing EPs (Free Time and Apartment Life): 2 pointsObjectives accomplished on home lot: 2Objectives accomplished on a community lot: 0Total points: 4Total points from last time: 0GRAND TOTAL: 4Days played: 3 out of 100
Notes from esmeiolantheTo determine what objective the family has to complete on anygiven day, I use my D&D dice: the ten-sided die (0-9) is for theones place and the percent die (00-90) is for the tens place. So if,for example, I roll a 30 on the percent die and a 1 on the ten-sideddie, then the family needs to complete Objective #31. If I roll 00 onthe percent die and 0 on the ten-sided die (for a result of 00+0), Icount it as 100.Also, Bag Balm is a real product. It really was developed for cowudders, and it really is effective on a wide variety of body partsboth human and animal, including hands.