The Step-by-Step
      Series:
   Free Sampler




 A selection of modules from the Step by
   Step Series, including The ...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




                            All rights reserved.
  ...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



Table of Contents
1.      The Appraisal Interview .....
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



  34.     Specificity .................................
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



  70.     Answer A Question With A Question ...........
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



  106.    Removing Limitations ........................
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



  142.    Constructive Feedback .......................
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




1. The Appraisal Interview
(Note: This module is ta...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



2.    The Aims of Appraisal
An appraising manager ca...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· about 2 hours before, gather your notes, forms and...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




6.    The Reality Bridge
The "reality bridge" is th...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



8.     Classic Structures
Your scheme may lay down t...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



10. Interview Tone
Some managers have difficulty car...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



12. Containing Stress
Stress arises when people perc...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



14. Empowering People
Empowering others means lettin...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



15. Responding to Change
Change can come to us in tw...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



17. Reasons Not to Change
The following are nine rea...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



19. Excuses, Excuses
These excuses have been stiflin...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



21. Do Everything
Frank Price in his book "Right Eve...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



23. Defy Change
Defying inevitable change is an opti...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· as machines with fixed parts which can be taken ou...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



1. Your leaders may be so immersed in the "old" orde...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



In learning best practice from professional counsell...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



Managers with a history of workplace
relationships i...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



An uncaring person walked past, looked down and told...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



Why did you break up? Answer: Because we did.
Why is...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



3. that the organism works best if it is in balance
...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



ignorance and genuine limits enhances the counsellin...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




41. Three Secrets
Employees in a counselling sessio...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



43. The Touch of Integrity
The TOUCH of integrity is...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




45. Self-Renewal
Burn-out is the exhaustion felt by...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




4. DIY Empowerment
(Note: This module is taken from...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



48. Break Free
The power that comes from do-it-yours...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




50. Self-Empowerment
Only when we stop letting othe...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· commitment is like sex: everyone wants it, it is m...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



In a recent survey of organisations that encouraged ...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



""Zenning" it is at the heart of all success. It is ...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



58. Adding Value
When we take responsibility for our...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




5. Empowering People
(Note: This module is taken fr...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



them to sit
· don't force people to go where you wan...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




How you address people
· be relaxed, still and atte...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· value their emotional state by being supportive an...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



choose to go on the tennis trip. But never say you h...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



70. Answer A Question With A Question
Boomerang ques...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



that with us?" Sharing is a useful neutral word that...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· routine features of groupwork, such as distributin...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



2. Tune in to where the problem is coming from.
3. C...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care f...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



80. Learning How to Learn
Learning how to learn is a...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



1. the unaware personality: blind, no growth, no cha...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




6. Working with Conflict
(Note: This module is take...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



85. The Positive View of Conflict
When we perceive c...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



87. No Deal
A no-deal outcome to a conflict means th...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management




"The peace of conquest, where the victim is still i...
The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management



· they are in a position of power and fear an openin...
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL
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Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL

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Here is an appetite-whetter for the MTL Step by Step Series which you won't want to miss.

In 99 pages and 167 easy-to-follow steps, you'll get 10 extracts from the full series, including The Appraisal Interview, Dispositions of Counselling, DIY Empowerment, Working with People, Positivity, Teamwork, and much more.

See how easy it is to take the step-by-step approach. Just start at the beginning and work forward. Or dip in anywhere you want. There's always tons to learn.

This sampler is delivered as a pdf file which you can open with the FREE Adobe Acrobat Reader.

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Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL

  1. 1. The Step-by-Step Series: Free Sampler A selection of modules from the Step by Step Series, including The Appraisal Interview, Empowering People, Working With Conflict, Positivity, Teamwork... and much more
  2. 2. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management All rights reserved. No part of this publication shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any other means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is published with the understanding that the author and the publisher are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other professional assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Eric Garner, KSA Training Ltd, individually or corporately, does not accept any responsibility for any liabilities resulting from the actions of any parties involved. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 2 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  3. 3. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management Table of Contents 1. The Appraisal Interview ............................................ 8 1. Appraisal Interviews ................................................... 8 2. The Aims of Appraisal ................................................. 9 3. 2-2-2 Preparation ...................................................... 9 4. A Relaxed Environment ............................................ 10 5. The Shape of Appraisals ........................................... 10 6. The Reality Bridge ................................................... 11 7. Contracting ............................................................. 11 8. Classic Structures .................................................... 12 9. Agendas ................................................................. 12 10. Interview Tone ........................................................ 13 11. 3D Interview Skills ................................................... 13 12. Containing Stress .................................................... 14 13. Staying in Control .................................................... 14 14. Empowering People .................................................. 15 2. Responding to Change ............................................. 15 15. Responding to Change .............................................. 16 16. Do Nothing ............................................................. 16 17. Reasons Not to Change ............................................ 17 18. Discounting ............................................................. 17 19. Excuses, Excuses ..................................................... 18 20. Do Anything ............................................................ 18 21. Do Everything ......................................................... 19 22. Change Indigestion .................................................. 19 23. Defy Change ........................................................... 20 24. Resistance to Change ............................................... 20 25. Tinkering Around the Edges ...................................... 20 26. Evolution ................................................................ 21 27. Rely on Others ........................................................ 21 28. Manage Change ....................................................... 22 3. Dispositions of Counselling ..................................... 22 29. Dispositions ............................................................ 23 30. Warmth .................................................................. 23 31. Empathy ................................................................. 24 32. Empathy is not Sympathy ......................................... 24 33. Do It Anyway .......................................................... 25 www.managetrainlearn.com Page 3 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  4. 4. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 34. Specificity ............................................................... 25 35. Don't Ask Why? ....................................................... 26 36. Gestalt Therapy ....................................................... 26 37. Here and Now ......................................................... 27 38. Genuineness ........................................................... 27 39. A Genuine Relationship ............................................. 28 40. Confidentiality ......................................................... 28 41. Three Secrets .......................................................... 29 42. Professional Distance ............................................... 29 43. The Touch of Integrity .............................................. 30 44. Confronting ............................................................. 30 45. Self-Renewal ........................................................... 31 46. Five Golden Rules .................................................... 31 4. DIY Empowerment .................................................. 32 47. DIY Empowerment ................................................... 32 48. Break Free .............................................................. 33 49. Never Wait For Them ............................................... 33 50. Self-Empowerment .................................................. 34 51. The Meaning of Commitment..................................... 34 52. Own the Job ............................................................ 35 53. Self-Development .................................................... 35 54. Be the Best ............................................................. 36 55. Zen It .................................................................... 36 56. Concentration.......................................................... 37 57. A State of Flow ........................................................ 37 58. Adding Value ........................................................... 38 59. Shine Your Light ...................................................... 38 5. Empowering People ................................................. 39 60. Being Open ............................................................. 39 61. Time and Space ....................................................... 39 62. Freedom ................................................................. 40 63. Language................................................................ 40 64. Tolerance ............................................................... 41 65. Valuing ................................................................... 41 66. Owning................................................................... 42 67. Never Say You Have To ............................................ 42 68. Not Doing It For Them .............................................. 43 69. Boomerang Questions .............................................. 43 www.managetrainlearn.com Page 4 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  5. 5. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 70. Answer A Question With A Question ........................... 44 71. Weaving ................................................................. 44 72. Sharing .................................................................. 44 73. Releasing Their Power .............................................. 45 74. Volunteering ........................................................... 45 75. Non-Rescuing .......................................................... 46 76. Offering Options ...................................................... 46 77. Letting Them Grow .................................................. 47 78. Letting Go ............................................................... 47 79. Levels of Learning .................................................... 48 80. Learning How to Learn ............................................. 49 81. Bateson’s Dolphins ................................................... 49 82. States of Personhood ............................................... 49 83. Man’s Divinity.......................................................... 50 6. Working with Conflict .............................................. 51 84. The Negative View of Conflict .................................... 51 85. The Positive View of Conflict ...................................... 52 86. Options in Conflict ................................................... 52 87. No Deal .................................................................. 53 88. I Win, You Lose ....................................................... 53 89. The Peace of Conquest ............................................. 53 90. I Lose, You Win ....................................................... 54 91. Win At All Costs ....................................................... 54 92. The £5 Auction ........................................................ 55 93. Compromise............................................................ 55 94. Win-Win ................................................................. 56 95. Working With Conflict ............................................... 56 96. Power Negotiations .................................................. 56 97. Positional Negotiations ............................................. 57 98. Principled Negotiations ............................................. 57 99. The Three Phases .................................................... 58 7. People Builders ....................................................... 58 100. How to Build People ............................................... 58 101. Sowing Habits ....................................................... 59 102. The Habit Score .................................................... 59 103. Coaxing Out Skills ................................................. 60 104. Coaching .............................................................. 60 105. Building the Team ................................................. 61 www.managetrainlearn.com Page 5 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  6. 6. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 106. Removing Limitations ............................................ 61 107. The Pygmalion Effect ............................................. 62 108. Leading Out .......................................................... 62 109. Where Training Leads ............................................ 63 110. Empowering ......................................................... 63 111. The Builder ........................................................... 64 112. Working with Time ................................................ 64 113. The Leader Withdraws ........................................... 65 8. Positivity ................................................................. 65 114. What is Positivity? ................................................. 66 115. The Faces of Positivity ........................................... 66 116. The Self-Image ..................................................... 67 117. Gold .................................................................... 67 118. Positive Goals ....................................................... 68 119. Positive Expectations ............................................. 68 120. Salutation to the Dawn .......................................... 69 121. Positive Review ..................................................... 69 122. Giving Positive Feedback ........................................ 70 123. It's In the Words ................................................... 70 124. Igniters & Chloroforms ........................................... 71 125. Mix with Positive People ......................................... 71 126. The Electricity of Life ............................................. 72 127. Good Medicine ...................................................... 72 128. Positivity as Pain-Relief .......................................... 73 129. The Positivity Habit ............................................... 73 130. What You Think You Can... ..................................... 73 9. Teamwork ............................................................... 74 131. Acts of Teamwork ................................................. 74 132. Sharing ................................................................ 75 133. Sharing Goals ....................................................... 75 134. Living Goals.......................................................... 76 135. Asking for Help ..................................................... 76 136. Geese In Flight ..................................................... 77 137. A Can-Do Climate.................................................. 77 138. The 3 A's, not the 3 C's .......................................... 78 139. Valuing Others ...................................................... 79 140. The Familiarity Curve ............................................. 79 141. Trust ................................................................... 80 www.managetrainlearn.com Page 6 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  7. 7. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 142. Constructive Feedback ........................................... 80 143. Convergent Thinking ............................................. 81 144. Groups and Teams ................................................ 81 145. Taking Risks ......................................................... 82 146. A Model of Change ................................................ 82 147. Team Morale ........................................................ 82 10. Time Travellers ....................................................... 83 148. Time Tendencies ................................................... 83 149. Nine Time Travellers .............................................. 84 150. The Perfectionist ................................................... 84 151. A Perfectionist's Time ............................................ 85 152. The Socialiser ....................................................... 85 153. A Socialiser's Time ................................................ 86 154. The Achiever ........................................................ 86 155. An Achiever's Time ................................................ 87 156. The Artist ............................................................. 87 157. An Artist's Time .................................................... 87 158. The Analyser ........................................................ 88 159. An Analyser's Time ................................................ 88 160. The Doubter ......................................................... 89 161. A Doubter's Time .................................................. 89 162. The Hurrier........................................................... 90 163. A Hurrier's Time .................................................... 90 164. The Rebel ............................................................. 91 165. A Rebel's Time ...................................................... 91 166. The Wanderer ....................................................... 92 167. A Wanderer's Time ................................................ 92 www.managetrainlearn.com Page 7 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  8. 8. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 1. The Appraisal Interview (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Perfect Appraisals: 167 steps that will show you how to turn the dreaded appraisal into the perfect appraisal and create a high-performing team.) Although appraisal is an ongoing process, it is the yearly, half- yearly or irregularly-held appraisal interview that gives the whole process focus and meaning. Employees in particular judge schemes and the credibility of the appraisers by what happens during the brief but all-important contact of the appraisal interview. Whatever lofty aims and purposes an appraisal scheme may have, it is the quality of the one-to-one relationship and the use of professional skills in an interview, that determine if appraisal is a success. 1. Appraisal Interviews There are five principles which underlie effective appraisal interviews... 1. the appraisal interview is not an isolated event but should be part of ongoing performance management 2. the manager's role is to help employees perform successfully 3. in developmental appraisal, the interview is less about what the manager thinks than what the employee thinks 4. the interview is more effective when it focuses on good performance 5. the interview is more effective when it focuses on future plans. These principles apply whether the appraisal is simple feedback, review of work done, or a rating and assessment scheme. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 8 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  9. 9. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 2. The Aims of Appraisal An appraising manager can pitch his or her sights in an appraisal interview at any of three levels... Level 1: to comply with the requirements of the appraisal scheme; to fill in the form; to meet the deadline. This does nothing to enhance the boss-subordinate relationship or to develop the employee. Level 2: to review the employee's past performance. If the interview is only about past performance, this can quickly lead to an exchange of views, some of which may be contested. Reviewing past performance is only of value if it leads to discussing future plans. Level 3: to help the employee to develop his or her potential. This turns the relationship into a rewarding one for both appraiser and appraisee and turns the interview into just one step in an ongoing process. 3. 2-2-2 Preparation The 2-2-2 Preparation technique manages the preparation of an appraisal interview. · about 2 weeks before the interview, set a time, date and location for the interview. Write it in your diary. Notify employees and say why it's important to attend. Give an indication of how they can best prepare, for example, by completing their part of the paperwork or self-assessing. · about 2 days before, complete any discussions with others who may have views on the employee and finalise your own assessment. Clear your diary of other work. Remind employees of the appointment. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 9 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  10. 10. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · about 2 hours before, gather your notes, forms and files. Prepare the room. Re-direct last-minute crises or urgent work to other people. Clear your thoughts. 4. A Relaxed Environment John who is an experienced appraiser is describing to his assistant, Wendy, how he creates the right interview environment for appraisal. "I aim for a relaxed and business-like setting. When people are relaxed, they talk more freely; when we're business-like, we focus on the job in hand. I pay attention to three areas of preparation: the whole environment, the room and the seating. Firstly, there must be no distractions or interruptions. I want them to know they are the only thing on my mind. If something important comes in, it must be delegated elsewhere. Next, I look at the room through the appraisee's eyes and check whether it gives the right impression. Lastly, I create a seating arrangement that is comfortable and safe and creates an area of informality inside the working office." 5. The Shape of Appraisals The following summarises the twelve starting points in an appraisal interview based on the past-present-future structure. 1. welcome appraisee 2. use any informal reality-bridge questions 3. outline the aims of the appraisal session 4. check the appraisee is happy with the aims 5. ask the appraisee to give their own assessment of how things have gone since the last formal review 6. summarise and agree the assessment 7. ask appraisee to outline their current work 8. summarise and agree what are current priorities 9. ask appraisee how they see things developing in the future 10. add any plans to the appraisee's own plans 11. review what has been agreed 12. thank appraisee and close. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 10 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  11. 11. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 6. The Reality Bridge The "reality bridge" is the phrase which describes the initial social chit-chat at the start of an appraisal interview. The reality bridge does more than just settle both parties down. It reminds you that there is a real world outside the interview room. Appraiser and appraisee both cross the reality bridge to go back to this other world at the end of the interview. Some reality bridge phrases include... " I see you made it through the heavy traffic..." "Such dreadful weather..." "I heard you were in Spain for your holidays..." 7. Contracting After the opening courtesies of an appraisal interview, you should move on to outlining what you want to do in the course of the appraisal session. This is the contract. It is important to let people know they are part of what's going on and have an equal say on how things can develop. The contract can include... · how long you expect to take · your arrangements not to be interrupted · the purpose of the meeting · the structure of the interview · the outcomes you expect · what extent of confidentiality there is · the tone you'd like to use. At the end of outlining the contract, you should ask if they're happy. If they are, move on. If not, stop and re-negotiate a new contract. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 11 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  12. 12. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 8. Classic Structures Your scheme may lay down the structure of the appraisal interview. If it doesn't, you can use one of the three classic appraisal interview structures. 1. Past-present-future. Start by discussing the review period; move on to where things are now; end by talking about future plans. 2. Positive-negative-positive. Start with what went well during the review period; follow with what didn't go so well; end with a summary of how things can go in future. 3. Strengths-weaknesses-opportunities- threats. Start by discussing their strong points; follow with areas that let them down; identify opportunities for managing weaknesses and building on strengths; end with an awareness of problems and threats to the team or individual. 9. Agendas As an alternative to any of the classic appraisal structures, an appraisal interview can be based on the following review topics... 1. work agreed at the previous appraisal 2. performance in key result areas 3. the achievement of any management by objective targets 4. project work 5. what has happened in their own self-development 6. what new learning has taken place 7. the trend and pace of performance. If you plan to use any of these, it is a good idea to let the appraisee know in advance so that they can prepare. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 12 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  13. 13. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 10. Interview Tone Some managers have difficulty carrying over one tone from the task-centred workplace to the tone needed for the person- centred appraisal interview. To help you make the transition, it helps to see the appraisal interview as a people-maintenance exercise. It can be thought of as a check-up of the employee's working health. Author Stephen Covey calls it "looking after the goose that lays the golden eggs". One useful guide to capturing the right tone is "FLIRT" which is a mnemonic for Friendly, Listening, Interested, Relaxed and Trusting. You will find that if you set this kind of tone from the start, your appraisee will quickly follow suit. "Be to others how you would like your appraiser to be to you." 11. 3D Interview Skills The most successful interviews are three-dimensional. Dimension one is preparation; dimension two is the conduct of the interview; and dimension three is follow-up. Preparation: when preparing for the interview, be clear on what you're trying to achieve. Remember it is as much about systems as relationships. Structure the interview and leave room to explore uncharted territory. Conduct of the interview: when you conduct the interview, do more listening than talking. When you listen, really listen. Listen to feelings as well as facts. Feelings are the motivators of the future. Follow-up: wait until you have the whole picture before you come to any firm plans. Avoid making exciting plans in the heat of the interview which are unrealistic. Afterwards, do what you said you'd do. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 13 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  14. 14. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 12. Containing Stress Stress arises when people perceive a situation as threatening. They then choose either a flight or fight reaction. Flight reactions in appraisal interviews include silence, moods and agreement to anything suggested. Fight reactions include arguing, politicking, and playing win-lose games. To avoid these unhelpful reactions... · play down status differences between you and the appraisee by finding common ground · allow appraisees as much control over the discussions as possible · don't criticise them · don't imply they're less than perfect · get side-by-side when dealing with problems of performance · add some human touches by using self-disclosures · keep discussions of feelings confidential. 13. Staying in Control An appraisal interview can easily get out of control unless you consciously plan to stay on track. You know you're not on track if you find yourself re-living past arguments, getting into blame- and-condemnation cycles, criticising third parties not present and only discussing what went well. Research in 1983 by Kikoski and Litterer suggests that there are five ways to keep an appraisal interview on track. 1. paraphrase and summarise when you want to move on 2. focus on what's important 3. ask the right type of questions at the right points: open questions to open up, closed questions to close down 4. reflect feelings rather than skate round them 5. give feedback not just information. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 14 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  15. 15. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 14. Empowering People Empowering others means letting go of the power you have in any situation so that others feel they can take personal responsibility for their own thoughts, plans and actions. · showing interest in others is an act of empowerment. · concentrated listening to what others say is an act of empowerment. · valuing their ideas is an act of empowerment. · supporting what they want to do is an act of empowerment. · giving them the go-ahead is an act of empowerment. · using phrases like "I like the way that you..." and "I think it's great that you..." is an act of empowerment. · asking them to summarise their performance before you do is an act of empowerment. · using words and phrases that encourage is an act of empowerment. 2. Responding to Change (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Change Management: 147 steps that will show you how to master the challenge of change and come out on top.) Our survival depends on responding to what is happening in our surrounding environment. If we ignore the needs and expectations of others, perhaps out of fear, insecurity, idleness, defiance, lack of awareness or too much looking back, we will find our attitudes and skills redundant. We will become casualties of change. If, on the other hand, we respond with courage, a new sense of security, application, humility and looking forward, we can not only survive but grow. We can be champions of change. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 15 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  16. 16. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 15. Responding to Change Change can come to us in two guises: as something we originate or as something imposed from outside. When change originates with us, it may be because we see the need to develop ourselves, our teams or our organisations. We are then likely to be the principal change agent and it will be down to us to sell the change to others. When change is imposed from outside, it may come as a sudden unannounced shock, a half-expected development or as a welcome event. It is not surprising therefore that people normally respond to change in a variety of ways. For some, the standard response to change may be to bury their heads in the sand and do nothing; for others, it may be to do anything and, when this doesn't work, to panic and do everything. For some, it is to devise a strategy and manage the response. 16. Do Nothing The "do nothing" response to change is the response of Handy's frog that boiled alive in the heated-up water without moving. It is also the response of the Peruvian Indians of the 16th century who on observing the approaching ships of their Spanish invaders believed they were just sea monsters and wouldn't harm them. As a result, they were invaded, did nothing to protect themselves and were overrun and conquered. We may do nothing for a number of reasons... · we don't know there is a need to change · we know but pretend it's not important · we claim that everyone else is in the same boat as us so it doesn't really matter · we don't think we can do anything about it · we could act but don't know what to do · we aren't allowed to do anything. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 16 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  17. 17. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 17. Reasons Not to Change The following are nine reasons why people, and organisations, do nothing to change. 1. we think our ways are right and so become complacent and routine-bound. 2. we dwell on the past and the emotional security of what is familiar. 3. we lack the originality to change until we see someone else doing it first. 4. we overplay the downside of change. 5. we prefer to stay with what we know and understand, not what we don't know and don't understand. 6. we rely on management as we've relied on them up to now. Unfortunately, management are often deeply committed to the existing ways of working. 7. we like the way things are now. 8. we live too much in the present and assume things can last for ever. 9. we simply cannot be bothered to make the effort. 18. Discounting Discounting is a term borrowed from Transactional Analysis in which we ignore any facts or evidence that conflicts with our view of things. An example of discounting may be a business that decides to do nothing about a steadily worsening market share. Its do-nothing thinking may be based on six discounting levels... 1. discounting the evidence by not having information. 2. discounting the problem by having evidence but not believing it is anything unusual. 3. discounting the will to change by saying "Yes, OK, but there's nothing we can do". 4. discounting the options because the remedy might be worse than the disease. 5. discounting the solutions by saying they won't work. 6. discounting the action because "they" won't wear it. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 17 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  18. 18. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 19. Excuses, Excuses These excuses have been stifling change for years... 1. We've never done it before. Nobody else has done it before. We tried it before. They tried it before. 2. We've been doing things this way for years. Why change? Things are working okay. We're fine as we are. 3. It's too much trouble. I don't like it. It won't work. It's too radical. 4. They say it's impossible. It can't be done. The boss won't buy it. It won't work in our type of company. The Unions won't buy it. 5. We don't have the money. We don't have the time. We don't have the expertise. 6. It needs more thought. I'm not sure. Let's have a report first. Let's do a study on it. 7. You're right but we're not ready for it. That's not us. It's contrary to our policy. ...and so on and on. 20. Do Anything When recession hit large Western companies in the early 1990's, many companies rushed to grasp the latest guru thinking on how to save their businesses. One of the popular ideas at the time was business process re- engineering, part of which was the idea of "downsizing". The resultant re-organisation, reduction in costs, and reduced workforces seemed to be an answer to the problems of the day. Moreover, it could be implemented from outside using consultants with new computers to work out just how to pare organisations down to their core businesses. Edward Deevy estimated that $20 billion was spent each year on consultants during this period. However, for many organisations, the experience was a costly disaster. They had been grasping for a quick fix, looking for easy answers and doing anything rather than managing their need to change. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 18 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  19. 19. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 21. Do Everything Frank Price in his book "Right Every Time" reminds us that taking major action to deal with change has long been a knee-jerk reaction of large organisations. He quotes Gaius Petronius describing yet another Roman Army re-organisation in AD 66... "We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were begining to form up into teams, we would be re- organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by re-organising and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress, while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation." Not long after this period, the Roman Empire began a slow decline that was only reversed by surgical action by the emperor Hadrian, who abandoned the Eastern Provinces and shored up the defences in the outermost countries. 22. Change Indigestion Many organisations believe that change requires a constant stream of initiatives, new ideas and brilliantly-conceived strategies, all sent down from the top. This frequently fails to work because... · it is based on a mechanistic view of how organisations work · it requires others to change, not those at the top · the answers are believed to lie with those at the top · the amount of change becomes too great for those down the line to handle. "A contributory factor to failure is that many top managers are now so removed from their underlings that they wildly underestimate how long it takes to embed really fundamental change. All too often impatient managers signal a new direction before those at the bottom have had chance to digest the last one." (Simon Caulkin) www.managetrainlearn.com Page 19 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  20. 20. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 23. Defy Change Defying inevitable change is an option undertaken by many organisations who think they are big enough and strong enough to resist what is happening around them. Defying the changes is not an option for most of us. It is the Canute-style of management. If we sit and defy the incoming waves, they will sooner or later devour us. Only a few organisations can point to defying change. One is Coca-Cola whose 100 plus year-old drink has the same taste, packaging and advertising today as it had when it started. However, Coca-Cola are still ready to meet change: they test- market a brand new soft drink every month. 24. Resistance to Change Changes are often introduced into organisations when a sensible case has been made out for them and the feasibility study shows they will work. Unfortunately, change needs hearts as well as minds. The Dvorak Simplified keyboard is a case in point. This was a new keyboard devised to replace the traditional typewriter keyboard when personal computers became popular. Its novel idea was to concentrate all the most popular letters of the alphabet on the middle row which would now read AOEUIDHTNS instead of ASDFGHJKL. Similarly, the number row, instead of reading 12345 etc would read 7531902468. The savings in operator efficiency were put at 40%. Unfortunately, few people were willing to change their skills or pay the cost of change. The Dvorak Simplified keyboard sank without trace. 25. Tinkering Around the Edges There are two different ways we can look at organisations: www.managetrainlearn.com Page 20 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  21. 21. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · as machines with fixed parts which can be taken out and replaced without any affect on any other part, or · as growing plants where everything is part of a whole and change cannot happen to one part without affecting the rest. When change arrives, the "machine" organisations tinker around the edges. They seek out old parts that are rusty and past their best. These are disposed of and replaced. Other parts get up- graded or taken out for a while and given an overhaul - perhaps a crash training programme or a spot of re-organisation. Those who see their organisations like growing plants know that the answer to managing change lies in tending the soil of culture, management and growth. 26. Evolution Evolution as a way of handling change is the Darwinian approach to management: constant, gradual, incremental change. This can be a highly effective way of developing the organisation when there is time. For example, the biggest maker of buggy whips in America at the turn of the century is now the biggest maker of carburettors with an enviable record of keeping up with changes in technology, design, transport needs and fashion. But in turbulent times, even evolution may not be possible. "You think you understand the situation, but what you don't understand is that the situation just changed." (Putnam Investment advertisement) 27. Rely on Others Relying on others to guide you through times of change is a high- risk strategy. You expose yourself to two possible unwanted outcomes... www.managetrainlearn.com Page 21 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  22. 22. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 1. Your leaders may be so immersed in the "old" order that they are unable to comprehend the need for change and do nothing. 2. Your leaders may try the "Cortes trick". The "Cortes trick" is the action which the Spanish conquistador Cortes took when he landed at Vera Cruz in Mexico in 1518. Faced with the might of the Tlascalan and Cholulan Indians, his soldiers favoured going home. So Cortes burnt the ships. 28. Manage Change The only viable option in responding to major change is to manage it. This means managing each of the following key strategies to take you through change. 1. Process: managing the change cycle 2. Structure: managing cores and peripheries 3. People and policies: managing paradox 4. Action: managing risk 5. Growth: managing learning 6. Personal development: managing the process of change 7. Information: managing uncertainty 8. Putting it all together: managing organisational change. 3. Dispositions of Counselling (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Skillful Counselling: 154 steps that will show you how to manage any staff problem with skill and finesse.) www.managetrainlearn.com Page 22 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  23. 23. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management In learning best practice from professional counselling, the manager who counsels can adapt the skills, tools and techniques of the professionals. These skills centre on the ability to create an environment in which others feel able to explore and confront key issues in their life and work and be helped to find answers to them and move on. For some managers, these skills will come easily; for others they have to be learnt. 29. Dispositions We all have the potential inside us to reach out to others. With practice, these qualities can be honed into valued skills and dispositions. There are eight key qualities that are important for those who act in a counselling role: 1. warmth, the ability to relate positively towards others 2. empathy, the ability to feel with someone else's situation 3. specificity, the ability to deal with what another person feels and thinks here and now 4. genuineness, the ability to accept yourself and how you are in the counselling relationship 5. confidentiality, the ability to respect information given in confidence 6. professional distance, the ability to see your role as a helper and not get personally involved 7. the touch of integrity, the ability to act as one 8. self-renewal, the ability to find personal refreshment. 30. Warmth Warmth is also known as an unconditional positive regard for others. Warmth towards others results when we... · believe that people are capable of doing their best · believe that people have basically good intentions · believe that everybody can be likeable. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 23 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  24. 24. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management Managers with a history of workplace relationships involving perhaps conflict, disagreement and mistrust, may find it hard to demonstrate warmth unconditionally or non-selectively. Warmth is necessary to move a one-to-one relationship from cold formality through thaw to growth and fruition. 31. Empathy Psychoanalyst Carl Rogers has described empathy in different ways as: · "...entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it." · "...being sensitive moment to moment to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person." · "... communicating your sensings of his or her world as you look with fresh and unfrightened eyes at elements of which the individual is afraid." When we empathize with another person, we try to see the world through their frame of reference. We try to understand how the situation we see is seen by them, what meanings they give it and what values they place on it. 32. Empathy is not Sympathy Empathy is similar to, but distinctly different from, sympathy, as their etymologies show: · pathos = Greek for "feeling" · empathos = "pathos" meaning "feeling" and "em" meaning "in" ie "feeling in..." · sympathos = "pathos" meaning "feeling" and "sym" meaning "with" ie "feeling with..." A man fell into a large hole. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 24 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  25. 25. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management An uncaring person walked past, looked down and told the man how silly he was to find himself in the hole. A sympathetic person walked past, and feeling sorry, jumped in the hole with him. An empathetic person walked past, saw both the hole-dwellers and, having ascertained that neither wanted to be in the hole, fetched a ladder and helped them out. 33. Do It Anyway These words from Mother Teresa of Calcutta are a reminder that counselling is a selfless act with no rewards except the knowledge that you are trying to help others. "People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centred; love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies; succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway. What you have spent years building may be destroyed overnight; build anyway. People really need help, but may attack you if you help them; help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth; give the world the best you have anyway." 34. Specificity Specificity is also known as "concreteness". In counselling, specificity means sticking to specific facts, feelings and views which are here and now in the present. This means that counsellors should not concern themselves with the causes and meanings of people's situations, but rather with ways in which current behaviour can be changed. It is about "how?" rather than "why?" Why do you feel this way? Answer: Because I do. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 25 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  26. 26. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management Why did you break up? Answer: Because we did. Why is your performance bad? Answer: Because it is. "Why?" questions are associated with critical and aggressive stances, possibly throwbacks to childhood scenes, such as "I've dropped the plate and broken it". "Why did you drop it?" asks the parent crossly. "I don't know. It was an accident..." "But why? That was my best china." And so on. 35. Don't Ask Why? Asking "why?" questions in counselling is often a pointless exercise. People who may be already confused when they come to counselling may find it difficult to give reasons for how they feel or what they did. Even if they know and can tell you, this may not help you to move on. "There are several difficulties with "why?" questions. One problem is that they lead to a search for the prime cause, the supreme answer that will unlock the mysteries of behaviour and effect instant behaviour change. This path leads to quicksand. Second, "why?" is too easily answered by "because" responses that place responsibility on external or unknown loci of control. A third problem with "why?" questions is that they often lead to figuring things out in a cognitive, problem-solving fashion that rarely enhances the understanding of emotions." (W.R.Parsons) 36. Gestalt Therapy An understanding of Gestalt therapy helps to underscore the importance of specificity in counselling. Gestalt therapy was developed by Fritz Perls as a counter to the analytical and theoretical methods used by Sigmund Freud and others. Its aim is to make the individual self-supporting by making him aware of himself in the present as a whole. "Gestalt" is German for "whole structure". Gestalt therapy believes... 1. that human beings are responsible for themselves 2. that each person functions as a whole, not in parts www.managetrainlearn.com Page 26 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  27. 27. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 3. that the organism works best if it is in balance 4. that the important questions about human experience are How? not Why? 5. that the past carries with it business that must be finished and that the future is only present expectation. 37. Here and Now Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy, believed that people could become more healthy by focusing on what was happening to them in the present. To be fully in the "here and now" means: · avoiding conceptualising and theorising about why something is happening and focusing instead on what you can do about it · avoiding giving reasons Not: "you're doing this because of what happened to you as a child"; But: "you seem to be frightened." · avoiding blame Not: "They don't like my work." But: "I feel insecure because they don't seem to like my work." 38. Genuineness Egan describes "genuine" people as being "at home with themselves in all their interactions". Genuineness means being yourself. To enter a counselling relationship and feign interest is not just dishonest, but misleading. We cannot expect others to accept themselves if we cannot first accept ourselves. Part of genuineness is consistency between what a counsellor says with what he or she conveys in their tone of voice, body expressions and behaviour. There must be an absence of masks and little or no attempt at self-presentation. Revealing genuineness through genuine interest, genuine concern, genuine admission of faults and weaknesses, genuine www.managetrainlearn.com Page 27 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  28. 28. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management ignorance and genuine limits enhances the counselling relationship. 39. A Genuine Relationship These thoughts by a client describe a "genuine" counsellor-client relationship... What she says never conflicts with what she feels. She is herself in our relationship. I don't think she hides anything from herself that she feel with me. She doesn't avoid anything that is important in our relationship. I feel I can trust her to be honest with me. She is secure in our relationship. She doesn't try to mislead me about her own thoughts and feelings. She can be impatient at times. She is sometimes upset at what I say. She can look as worried as I feel. (William Stewart) 40. Confidentiality Confidentiality is a key requirement in a manager who counsels others. You should not undertake counselling if you have an urge to share information with others, to impress them or to do it for personal gain. However, not everything that is said in a counselling session can be guaranteed to remain confidential. Matters that affect others, that perhaps breach a contract of employment, that break the law or could do others harm may all have to be reported. You should, however, never breach confidentiality of feelings. The bounds of your confidentiality undertaking should be spelled out at the contract stage of a counselling session and repeated if and when something borderline arises during discussion. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 28 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  29. 29. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 41. Three Secrets Employees in a counselling session may sometimes only be prepared to discuss issues if they are kept secret. Some counsellors distinguish three types of secrets... · the private secret, which if revealed would cause the person harm · the pledged secret which when shared is expected to remain confidential · the entrusted secret which either implicitly or explicitly is understood to remain unrevealed. Since one of the aims of counselling is to promote the free, unforced expression of facts and feelings, there should be no sharing of secrets unless it is absolutely necessary. 42. Professional Distance There is a certain point in the helping process when you have enough emotional involvement to understand others. Any more and you are too involved, any less and you are not involved enough. This point can only be experienced through remaining sensitive to the client's situation. It is the point of professional distance. This point allows you to understand others but also to remain distant enough to offer objective insight, suggestions and support. Donald S. Winnicott, the British psychoanalyst, described "professional distance" in these terms: "The counsellor is not frightened nor overcome with guilt feelings when the client goes mad, or disintegrates or runs out in the street in a nightdress, or attempts suicide and perhaps succeeds." The counsellor is caring and careful, supportive, contains and holds anxiety, maintains an unshocked and unshockable position. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 29 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  30. 30. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 43. The Touch of Integrity The TOUCH of integrity is a mnemonic which stands for the five ingredients that help you to "act as one". They are: · T for Trust. An employee needs to trust you fully and will do so only if your past record shows you are trustworthy · O for Openness. The counsellor models openness to the client by not seeking to control the client, not listing "do's and don'ts", not hiding their own thoughts and feelings · U for Understanding. Understanding means being prepared to listen even when the subject may not be of interest but accepting the value of it to the other person · C for Confidentiality. · H for Honesty. Just as there must be integrity between counsellor and client, so there should be integrity between the counsellor and the organisation which employs them both. 44. Confronting Confronting is one of the most difficult helping skills to get right. Confronting, if handled badly, can raise the temperature of a relationship and may destroy it altogether. Confronting is necessary in counselling when clients have a problem that they have been unable to resolve by themselves. They may be avoiding it, pretending it doesn't exist, hoping it goes away by itself. Unless the counsellor confronts them with their reluctance to resolve the matter, there can be no progress. Confronting skills include: · identifying what the real problem is · timing the confrontation so that the client isn't offended · avoiding blame and condemnation · not allowing feelings to get in the way · seeking ways to help people resolve the problem. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 30 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  31. 31. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 45. Self-Renewal Burn-out is the exhaustion felt by carers and counsellors who undergo excessive or prolonged counselling of others. Burn-out is characterised by: · chronic low energy levels · defensive behaviour · emotional distancing from people. Studies by Cartwright found high burn-out rates in the nursing profession. Studies by Gaines and Jermier found high burn-out rates amongst the police. Fortunately, burn-out is mainly a temporary phenomenon and a complete break from dealing with people problems can help. Long-term strategies for support and physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self-renewal are essential. 46. Five Golden Rules Here are five golden rules for carers to care for themselves: 1. have someone else to talk to for support 2. build contacts with other professionals. Learn how they cope with the threat of burn-out. 3. don't expect your efforts to bear fruit every time. Much as you try, you will occasionally meet impenetrable resistance. 4. put things into a wider perspective. People can be slow to change. Your helping may not have any kind of meaning for them until much later on. 5. get away from it all regularly. Find a place to go where you can relax, let go and switch off. A self-renewal programme can incorporate elements of physical relaxation, such as exercise and a good long walk and mental respite and spiritual refreshment. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 31 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  32. 32. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 4. DIY Empowerment (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Dynamic Delegation and Empowerment: 160 steps that will show you how to bring your management skills into the 21st century.) If we rely on our organisations to give us the power to become responsible in what we do, then we are never fully empowered. The ultimate power remains with managers whose gift it still remains. To be properly empowered and add value to what we do, we must empower ourselves. This means self-reliance, self- motivation, self-discipline and self-direction. It means turning any job we do into a chance to develop. It means Do-It-Yourself Empowerment. 47. DIY Empowerment Just as managers have to change the way they look at work when they embark on empowerment, so individual employees have to change the way they look at work when they embark on Do-It-Yourself Empowerment. There are 10 attitudes that can help you to do it yourself. These are: 1. break free of the chains that others place on you 2. work with others but don't rely on them to do it for you 3. be committed to the job and the organisation 4. own the job as if it were your own business 5. be a continuous learner throughout your life 6. be the best at whatever you do 7. do the job because you want to not for the rewards 8. get absorbed in your work 9. add value to everything you do 10. liberate yourself from the fear of not being good enough. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 32 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  33. 33. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 48. Break Free The power that comes from do-it-yourself empowerment is the freedom that comes from breaking away from dependence on others. In his book "The Success Factor", Dr Harry Stanton described six of these "chains from others". They are... 1. the morality of others (you must; you should...) 2. others' concept of your success (But your car's not as big as ours) 3. the identity that others want to give you ("You don't behave like a manager!") 4. others' version of what it takes to be happy ("You mean you haven't dated anyone for six months!") 5. your possession or lack of possession of traditional power ("she's just a clerk"); 6. the group's codes of behaviour ("that's the way men should behave") 49. Never Wait For Them While other people are important in the way we work, we can in the final analysis only rely on ourselves to do what we need to do for our own development and ultimate success. "I remember standing outside the boss's door as a trainee in my first job. I was up for my review. I was very nervous. Along came Jock, the elder statesman of the office. "What are you doing out here, laddie?" he asked, peering at me. "I'm waiting to go and see what they've got lined up for me." "Them?" he boomed, incredulously. "Them! If you wait for them, laddie, you'll wait forever. Never wait for them." "The best motivation is self-motivation. The guy says: "I wish someone would come along and turn me on." What if they don't show up? You've got to have a better plan for your life." (Jim Rohn) www.managetrainlearn.com Page 33 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  34. 34. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 50. Self-Empowerment Only when we stop letting others determine how we feel, what we do and how we see things, do we really become empowered. This change is reflected in the way we talk about work. From: "a 9 to 5 kind of dying" To: "a chance to excel for ourselves" From: "work as a chore, a must, a have-to" To: "work as a preference, a liking, a love." From: "doing it, but thinking about something else." To: "total absorption in it." Self-empowered individuals take responsibility for how they feel about their work. It is no longer something that is controlled and directed by others, but the place where they can discover their own true potential themselves. 51. The Meaning of Commitment Commitment is the quality that comes from individuals who empower themselves at work. There are different ways of understanding what is meant by "commitment": · in World War II, the US Army discovered that 5% of all its parachutes didn't work properly due to manufacturers' defects. The Army were not prepared to put lives at risk, so they asked the parachute makers to test the parachutes first themselves. Quality quickly rose to 100% and defects to zero. That's commitment! · commitment is the missing ingredient that produces excellence. Commitment plus skill equals excellence. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 34 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  35. 35. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · commitment is like sex: everyone wants it, it is more talked about than done; and you've got to give it to get it in return. 52. Own the Job If you owned your own business, you would plan it, work at it, invest everything you could in it, develop it, be proud of it, nurture it and enjoy every second of it. With a change of focus, you can do the same for any job you do. Who do you work for? I work for the company. I work for the boss. I work for the team. I work for my family. I work for me. In 1750, 95% of the population were self-employed or owner- managers. This figure went down to 50% by 1900 and just 10% in 1980. By 1990, it had risen again to 20% and on present trends will reach 50% again by 2025. "Make every decision as if you owned the whole company." (Robert Townend, Avis) 53. Self-Development Continuous learning in times of change offers huge scope for taking responsibility for our own development. It means: · actively seeking opportunities to learn both informally and formally · becoming more curious about the way we work · always having a learning activity "on the go" whether related to the job or not · learning how we like to learn and practising more of this · learning what it is like to learn something new and coping with frustration, failure, challenge, ignorance. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 35 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  36. 36. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management In a recent survey of organisations that encouraged their staff to enrol at local education classes, those organisations with employees on education courses consistently performed better than those with fewer enrolled employees. 54. Be the Best The self-empowered individual is someone who has three qualities: · he knows where his talents, skills, strengths, vocation and potential lie · she works to find the place where she can exercise these talents for the benefit of herself and others · he excels in the performance of these skills. "If a man is called on to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well." (Martin Luther King) 55. Zen It "Zen" is a word from Oriental thinking which stands for total absorption, fascination and concentration on the job in hand. To "zen" a job means to do it for the sake of it, not for what it is for or leading to. In their book "Thank God it's Monday", Charles Cameron and Suzanne Ellusor describe seeing a Zen monk sweeping snow from the steps of a temple. The more it snowed, the more he swept. The monk did not expect to clear the steps of snow or achieve any objective. There was reason enough to be doing it. Because it didn't matter. The simplicity of his actions was enough to make it worth doing: process rather than end result, being rather than completion. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 36 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  37. 37. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management ""Zenning" it is at the heart of all success. It is a matter of being present at your own life, not just showing up for the roll call." (Charles Cameron) 56. Concentration When we become absorbed in our work, we attain a state of total concentration that is known as "flow". It means forgetting oneself in a heightened state of awareness. It means having a clarity for cues and outside stimuli. It means having the skills to meet the demands of the moment. It means finding a rhythm to our work in which hours pass like minutes and minutes like hours. Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihaly of the University of Chicago studied 1000 workers and found that nearly a third regularly experienced "flow" at work. "Flow is a state of self-forgetfulness, the opposite of rumination and worry. Instead of being lost in nervous pre-occupation, people in flow are so absorbed in the task at hand that they lose all self-consciousness, dropping the small pre-occupations - health, bills, even doing well - of daily life." (Daniel Coleman) 57. A State of Flow One of the most celebrated descriptions of the state of self- absorption known as "flow" is that given by John Brodie, an American football player: "Often in the heat and excitement of a game, a player's perception and co-ordination will improve dramatically. At times and with increasing frequency now, I experience a kind of clarity that I've never seen adequately described in a football story. Sometimes, for example, time seems to slow down in an uncanny way as if everyone were moving in slow motion. It seems as if I have all the time in the world to watch the receivers run their patterns and yet I know the defensive line is coming at me just as fast as ever. I know perfectly well how hard and fast those guys are coming and yet the whole thing seems like a movie or a dance in slow motion. It's beautiful." www.managetrainlearn.com Page 37 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  38. 38. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 58. Adding Value When we take responsibility for our own work, we can add value in any of the following ways: 1. find the best method for doing the job added value: productivity 2. find profitable connections with others added value: 2 + 2 = 5 3. find more chances to succeed in the eyes of others added value: prizes, awards, accolades 4. find a way to produce outstanding quality added value: customer delight 5. find new ways to do things added value: innovation 6. find the quickest, safest, most reliable way to do the job added value: efficiency 7. find the simplest way to work added value: smooth, stress-free working. 59. Shine Your Light When we achieve a sense of empowerment, something magical happens inside us. We no longer depend on others for what happens to us. We may still work as we did before; but at last we can let our own light shine. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Nelson Mandela) www.managetrainlearn.com Page 38 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  39. 39. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 5. Empowering People (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Empowering Facilitation Skills: 162 steps that will show you how to become an expert at leading groups to greater awareness and power.) In many traditional experiences of being and working in groups - the family, the school classroom, the work team - we have become used to hierarchical models of authority. So we have become used to fitting in, adjusting to others, letting the experts decide, doing what we're told. As a result, many of us live lives of quiet desperation: alienated, frustrated, defensive, powerless. The process of facilitation aims to restore, unleash and release that lost power and put it back where it belongs: with people. 60. Being Open The first step in creating an empowered climate in a group is to model aspects of openness. There is a continuum of empowerment options that ranges from being relaxed with people at one end to letting people feel free to be themselves at the other. Openness is at the heart of this range. Modelling openness is like presenting an open page on which you invite the group to write its own story. "The world is your exercise book, the pages on which you do your sums. It isn't your reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages up." (Richard Bach) 61. Time and Space Being relaxed about rules on time and space in a group is a way of inviting people to set their own rules. · don't force people to sit where you want www.managetrainlearn.com Page 39 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  40. 40. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management them to sit · don't force people to go where you want them to go · don't force people to work to your pace · don't force people to meet your deadlines. Empowerment is an act of trust and invites trust in return. Some control-oriented managers will point to the abuses that are possible if you empower people who are not ready for responsibility. But in the hands of a skilled facilitator even an abuse can be used as an opportunity to explore personal growth. "The more open I am to others and myself, the less I want to rush in and fix things." (Carl Rogers) 62. Freedom One of the most important functions of facilitation is to encourage the group to be themselves. This means allowing the group the freedom to make their own choices and to face up to the consequences of those choices. You can show you value free choice by... · allowing people to express views which are unorthodox, unpopular, or minority views, without them being derided or judged · allowing people to choose not to take part in activities or discussions if they so choose · allowing people to take their time in learning as a way of acknowledging that not everyone learns at the same pace as everyone else. 63. Language Everything you say and do as facilitator can underline your own openness and your invitation to others to be open. How you speak · Use OSCAR, a mnemonic for Open, Simple, Clear, Assertive, and Relevant language · avoid "musts" and "shoulds" · avoid judgment, criticism and put-downs. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 40 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  41. 41. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management How you address people · be relaxed, still and attentive · only speak when you have something worth saying · sit or stand with open body language signals: face people, uncross your arms and legs · keep gestures and expressions in neutral and under control. 64. Tolerance Your demonstration of tolerance to what people say and do is one of the strongest acts of group empowerment. When people see that their behaviour and views are taken seriously, they also begin to take them seriously. An empowered workgroup is open to anything anyone does or says: this means not filtering it through the organisation's version of what is acceptable, the department's version or your own. It also means tolerating mistakes and failures, the raw material for learning and growth. "The leader judges no one and is attentive to both "good" and "bad" people. It does not even matter whether the person is telling the truth or lying." (John Heider: "The Tao of Leadership") 65. Valuing People sometimes feel powerless in groupwork because they have lost the trappings of their institutional power: they cannot use their title, their status, or their power to reward or threaten others. Facilitators work with a different kind of power: the power that comes from being important in your own right. In this way everyone is valued in the group. These are some of the ways to model valuing: · value others by being courteous, quiet and using first names · value their ideas by listening quietly and attentively whenever they speak · value what they do by showing interest even if the subject is otherwise not one you would normally be interested in www.managetrainlearn.com Page 41 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  42. 42. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · value their emotional state by being supportive and appreciative when they confide in you. 66. Owning It is the facilitator's task to guide the group into taking ownership of their needs and wants. This process can be reflected in small but significantly empowering ways when we help individuals change the way they speak. · speaking for others. When someone claims to speak for others, eg "I think we all want a break", ask him or her to check it out with the others first. · blaming. When someone blames another person for how they feel, eg "He makes me angry", ask him to own his feelings, ie "I feel angry when he says that". · speaking directly. When someone speaks indirectly, eg "Does anyone want a drink?", suggest they speak directly, ie "I would like a drink". · making choices. When someone says they must do something, eg "I have to go", ask her to check that it isn't their choice rather than a requirement, ie "I want to go". 67. Never Say You Have To In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen Covey recounts the story of the student who avoided owning his choices. One time a student asked me: "Would you excuse me from class? I have to go on a tennis trip." "You have to go?" I asked. "I really have to," he exclaimed. "What will happen if you don't?" "Why, they'll kick me off the team." "How would you like that?" I asked. "I wouldn't." "In other words, you choose to go because you want the consequences of staying on the team. But if you don't come to class, what would be the natural consequence?" "I guess I'll miss the learning." "That's right. So you have to weigh that consequence against the other consequence and make a choice. I know if it were me, I'd www.managetrainlearn.com Page 42 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  43. 43. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management choose to go on the tennis trip. But never say you have to do anything." "I choose to go on the tennis trip," he meekly replied. 68. Not Doing It For Them In traditional forms of groupwork, group leaders are often placed in the role of expert, rescuer and problem-solver. In this role, they are seen as question-masters with the answers to problems tucked up their sleeves or as helpers who will step in and do things if the group gets stuck. Playing the part of rescuer, while it may make us feel good and overcome a temporary difficulty, merely results in dis- empowering those in the group. We send the message that when things get difficult, they can opt out and do nothing. There is no growth in that route. When opportunities to intervene arise or we are tempted to take the easy route and do it for them, we should stop, bite our lips and do nothing. 69. Boomerang Questions The boomerang question, also known as the "elastic question", has become a cliche of facilitation, practically its hallmark. You use the boomerang question to send back questions to their owners. Susan: "What exactly is facilitation, Malcolm?" You: "Well, what do you think it is, Susan?" The boomerang question invariably works because, in asking a question in the first place a group member usually has an idea of an answer which he or she wants to test, explore or confirm but is not sure about. Your response tells the person that it is OK to voice what they think. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 43 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  44. 44. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 70. Answer A Question With A Question Boomerang questions work best when they make people think. Here are 7 responses that make people do just that. 1. “I would never want to do that.” “What would you want to do?” 2. I wouldn’t like to do this.” “What would make it more attractive?” 3. “This will never work.” “What would work better?” 4. “There are too many problems for it to work.” “What are the main problems?” 5. “There are lots of changes needed.” “Such as…” 6. “It’s a good plan but I have some niggling doubts.” “What would put your mind at rest?” 7. “It’s unlikely to work in its present form.” “What changes would you suggest?” 71. Weaving Weaving is an alternative technique to the boomerang question. Instead of sending a question back to the questioner, you thread it into the group, inviting others to reply or referring to what others have already said. In this way, you signal that the group, not you, is the place to turn to for answers. "I don't understand the question..." "Can anyone else help John?" or "Rachel, you expressed a view on this earlier..." Weaving doesn't have the same impact as the boomerang question because it allows the questioner a way out of finding their own answers to their questions. 72. Sharing One of the more humorous cliches of facilitation, and often mimicked by groups, is the expression: "Would you like to share www.managetrainlearn.com Page 44 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  45. 45. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management that with us?" Sharing is a useful neutral word that a person can interpret in whatever way they think best. It could mean sharing an experience, sharing feelings, sharing thoughts, sharing know- how. The sharing cliché hides an important feature of facilitation and that is the willingness of members of a group to be open about their experiences, thoughts and feelings. Through the patience of the facilitator and the support of the rest of the group, people can be encouraged to put their thoughts and feelings into words and trust them to the rest of the group. Review questions also encourage sharing. These include: How do you feel about what just happened? What did you learn from that? What do you need to do now? 73. Releasing Their Power Not intervening to rescue people is most important when the group hits a problem and turns to you, the facilitator, to help them out. You can turn the problem back to them by using these three steps: 1. Point out what the problem is 2. Show what the consequences could be to everyone 3. Invite them to do something about it. Tom: "I think it means doing nothing..." Julie: "I don't agree..." You: "OK so we have a fundamental difference of opinion. This could lead to serious problems, of course. How can we go about producing a definition that we can all put our names to?" 74. Volunteering Asking for volunteers to do things should be an ever-present feature of facilitative leadership. Anything you feel tempted to do yourself can always be done by others. This includes... www.managetrainlearn.com Page 45 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  46. 46. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · routine features of groupwork, such as distributing handouts; serving coffee; operating video cameras · aspects of groupwork such as writing up the results of a group exercise on a flipchart · giving input to groups. You can trigger people's desire to be involved by inviting them in, using gentle persuasion and kindly provocation. One way to judge how facilitative a group has been is to compare the amount of time you sit and observe against the amount of time you spend on your feet doing. 75. Non-Rescuing A fine distinction needs to be drawn in facilitating other people's processes between those times when someone needs to be rescued and those when they don't. You should throw a lifeline to people who are clearly in difficulty and drowning, but where people are merely looking for an easy way out, it is often better to encourage them to swim a bit harder by themselves. Jill: "I couldn't possibly do that!" You: "Go on, Jill, I know you can..." or You: "Who would you like to help you?" When people see that they are not going to be offered the easy way out, they invariably do something for themselves. This alone can be a valuable lesson in personal growth. 76. Offering Options One of the most valuable themes of group facilitation is the sequence of Offering Options. It is an alternative to solving someone else's problems. 1. When someone asks you to do something, eg answer a question or sort a problem out, listen empathically. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 46 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  47. 47. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 2. Tune in to where the problem is coming from. 3. Confirm the boundaries of what you agreed to do and what others agreed to do. 4. Ask questions to help people explore the problem, eg "What is missing here?"; "What can you do?" 5. Generate options with them until they see one they can take off with. "The leader who knows when to listen, when to act and when to withdraw can work effectively with nearly everyone." (John Heider) 77. Letting Them Grow Letting people learn at their own pace and in their own way is the ultimate act of empowerment. People don't grow because we tell them they have to or because we threaten them if they don't; they only grow if we provide the right conditions in which growth can take place. "A Zen master once asked an audience of Westerners what they thought was the most important word in the English language. After giving his listeners the chance to think about such favourite words as love, truth, failure, success and so on, he said: "No, it's a three-letter word. It's the word, "let". Let it be. Let it happen."" (W.Timothy Gallwey) 78. Letting Go To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; It means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try and change or blame another; www.managetrainlearn.com Page 47 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  48. 48. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management I can only change myself. To let go is not to care for, but to care about; To let go is not to fix but be supportive. To let go is not to judge; But allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes; But to allow others to affect their own outcomes. To let go is not to be protective; It is to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny, but to accept; To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, But to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my own desires; But to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.” (Anon) 79. Levels of Learning Groupwork affords people the opportunity to learn on three different levels. Level 1: Technical learning Technical learning is the nuts and bolts of any subject you wish to master. For example, this programme provides technical information about facilitation skills. In groupwork, technical information is based on the formal inputs people receive. Level 2: Interpersonal learning Interpersonal awareness is what you learn from interacting with others. It includes the ability to communicate, to influence, to lead, to serve, to follow. It follows from technical learning. Level 3: Personal awareness Personal awareness is perhaps the greatest prize of facilitated groupwork and includes personal insights about the way we learn. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 48 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  49. 49. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 80. Learning How to Learn Learning how to learn is a longer-lasting benefit from the self- learning process of groupwork than simple technical learning. It enables us to speed up our own future learning rate. Learning how to learn includes the following skills: · admitting what we don't know and can't do · recognising possibilities inside us · letting go of old ways · trying out new ways without fear of failure · developing non-judgmental curiosity · getting back up when things don't work out and trying again · overcoming the mental blocks that say "I know all that!" or "I'm too old to learn!" or "It's too hard, I'll never learn that!" 81. Bateson’s Dolphins In "Steps to the Ecology of Mind", the anthropologist Gregory Bateson describes how he saw dolphins learning how to learn in a dolphinarium. On the first day of a new routine, the dolphins were taught a new trick. If they performed it correctly, they were rewarded with a fish. The next day, when they performed the trick, no fish were given. Fish were only given when a new trick was mastered. This continued for two weeks. Then on the fourteenth day, the dolphins performed four new tricks they hadn't been shown before but had learnt by themselves. The dolphins had learnt that learning, not tricks, is what gets rewarded. 82. States of Personhood Our learning has no end. Once we start to develop ourselves, we can plumb ever-deeper levels that can take us through six states of personhood: www.managetrainlearn.com Page 49 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  50. 50. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 1. the unaware personality: blind, no growth, no change 2. the stuck personality: fixated; confined; excessive; obsessive; stuck in routines; repetitive 3. the conventional personality: habitual; reactive; responds to the environment; lives a life in tramlines 4. the creative personality: steady change, using personal gifts to perform and grow in the present environment 5. the artistic personality: reaches beyond what went before to find new forms of self-expression 6. the self-transfiguring personality: discovering new powers. "Before asking someone to do something, you have to help them to be someone." (The Service Master Company) 83. Man’s Divinity This re-telling of an ancient Hindu legend comes from Christian Godefroy, author of "Mind Power". There was a time when all men were gods. But they so abused their divinity that Brahma decided to deprive them of their divine power. The only problem was where to hide this power so that man would not find it. An assembly of minor gods was called to discuss the problem. "Let's hide it in the earth," they said. "No," said the Brahma, "they will dig it up." "What about the ocean depths?" they suggested. "Not much better, " said the Brahma. "Sooner or later man will explore every region of the world and the universe." After a lot of discussion, it was concluded that there was no safe place to hide man's divine power. Then Brahma said. "This is what we'll do. We'll hide it in the one place man will never think of looking for it: in the very depths of man himself." And that's what the gods did. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 50 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  51. 51. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 6. Working with Conflict (Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to Deal-Winning Negotiation Skills: 178 steps that will show you how to win every deal you make.) The essence of negotiations is conflict. Conflict manifests itself in differences of view, differences of opinion and differences of interest. When one party wants what another party has; when one group fails to agree on how to divide up shared resources; when one person does not see eye-to-eye with another; then there is conflict. Conflict, however, need never be the cause for unresolved dispute. If viewed in a positive way, as a start not an end position, it holds within itself the promise of new possibilities from which all sides can gain. Without conflict, there is nothing to resolve and so no negotiation; without facing up to conflict, there is no creative tension; and without the need to resolve conflict, there is no progress. 84. The Negative View of Conflict When we perceive conflict negatively, we tend to see it as a threat. Our knee-jerk reactions are instinctive and emotional: to attack the reasons for the conflict or avoid facing up to them. These are some of the common negative reactions to conflict... "It's their fault, not mine..." "If I ignore it, it might go away." "It's best not to get involved." "If we stick our nose in, someone will get hurt." "We'll just argue and argue over who said what, when and to whom." "I can't let them win." "Let them get on with it." www.managetrainlearn.com Page 51 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  52. 52. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 85. The Positive View of Conflict When we perceive conflict positively we tend to see it as an opportunity. Most successful advances in business occur when two sides with different interests put their heads together to work out a new way forward. Positive views of conflict are rational and non-emotive. These are some of the rational ways we might look at conflict positively... · many differences can't be settled quickly, but the differences themselves produce a valuable creative tension · when two different forces come together, the result can be more than a sum of the parts. This is the principle of synergy. · when people are in disagreement this is a positive sign that they care and want things to improve · those against us are still part of us: having differences is like a family discussion. 86. Options in Conflict There are always just six options in handling conflict: 1. no deal 2. I win - you lose 3. I lose - you win 4. win at all costs 5. compromise 6. win-win. The most sensible strategy in negotiations is option 6, win-win. This is the belief that in any negotiation it is possible for both sides to come out having gained something of value. Even though the compromise option is often the way negotiations turn out, it should never be part of a game plan. "Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the greatest harmony." (Heraclitus of Ephesus, 535 - 475BC) www.managetrainlearn.com Page 52 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  53. 53. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management 87. No Deal A no-deal outcome to a conflict means that the status quo is confirmed and nothing changes. No-deal is rarely a successful end to a conflict unless during discussions it becomes clear there is no advantage for you in continuing. No-deal, in the sense of walkaway power, can also be used tactically at any stage of the proceedings. To make sure you are not disadvantaged if your bluff is called when you threaten "No deal!" make sure you have a good second-best BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) to fall back on. Tactical "no-deal" should be used right up to and including the last stage of a negotiation. 88. I Win, You Lose The "I win you lose" approach to conflict is also known as the World War One solution. At the end of World War One, the victorious Allies decided that, such were the horrors of the war, the defeated Germans should be humiliated and never again allowed to threaten their neighbours. The denigrating peace terms were completely one-sided but, as in all win-lose solutions, the losing side harboured deep resentment. It was only a matter of time before resentment led to a desire for revenge and the outbreak of a further war in 1939. When you use "win-lose" on others, you encourage them to find ways to use "win-lose" back on you. 89. The Peace of Conquest Whether in international relationships or personal relationships, winning by making others lose is the quickest route to renewed conflict. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 53 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  54. 54. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management "The peace of conquest, where the victim is still in existence and must be dominated is, as peace, a negation: the suffering of the conflict has ceased but the figure of awareness is not alive with new possibilities, for nothing has been solved; victor and victim and their relations continue to fill the news. The victor is watchful, the victim resentful. In social wars, we see that such negative peace is not stable, there are too many unfinished situations." (Perls, Hefferline and Goodman, "Gestalt Therapy") 90. I Lose, You Win The "I lose, you win" approach to conflict should never be considered as a strategy. This is the route of appeasement, a quiet life and letting others have their way: sooner or later they will come back for more. "I lose, you win" may be used as a tactical ploy after you have given a concession which has cost you nothing. By emphasising the benefits of the concession to the other side, you can imply that since they have won something, you have lost something and it is now their turn to reciprocate. 91. Win At All Costs Win-at-all-costs is a negotiating strategy that is based on the belief that you are not responsible for the conflict and therefore will not budge an inch to the other side. You must be seen to win. There are a number of reasons why people feel they have to win at all costs: · they are convinced they are right, so everyone else must be wrong · they equate giving in with weakness · they are frightened that their constituents will give them a hard time if they submit www.managetrainlearn.com Page 54 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!
  55. 55. The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management · they are in a position of power and fear an opening of the floodgates if they look weak ("give them an inch...") · they are not used to having their views challenged · they believe they cannot lose face in the eyes of themselves and their constituents. 92. The £5 Auction A simple demonstration of win-at-all-costs thinking is the £5 auction game. A group of people are invited to bid for a £5 note. They are allowed to bid in steps of 50p starting at 50p itself. Naturally bidding is brisk up to £4.50 and £5.00, as one person tries to beat the other. But, more often than not, the bidding will pass the £5.00 mark and go to £5.50 or even higher. Winning now matters more than the prize itself. Only when the "winner" realises that he or she loses money after the bidding passes £5, do they see the stupidity of "win-at-all- costs" thinking. 93. Compromise Although the end result of many negotiations is a coming together of positions and a settlement somewhere in the middle of extremes, compromise should not be a pre-planned strategy. This is because... · it encourages a spirit of concession · the other side will interpret your concessions as weakness and try to push you further · negotiation is not about trying to be nice to one another · your case may merit better than a compromise; their case may merit worse. Compromise is often the outcome of going to third party mediators whose interest is not in the fairness of the arguments or who has the greatest power but in getting a settlement. www.managetrainlearn.com Page 55 of 99 Get the MTL Experience!

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