Lynda’s Lie
                           By
                      PS Henderson



How delightful are the pleasures of the im...
You are free:

     to Share — to copy, distribute and transmit the work




Under the following conditions:
     Attribut...
E
                    dan‟s Truth



                          Hello dear Reader, let me introduce
                    mys...
P
            rologue




       London, England

       Summer of 1990



       The slender framed boy stood and watched...
“Edan stop it!”

       “Or what? You‟ll tell on me?”

       “Maybe.” Kyle stood up and rubbed his backside.

       “And...
In Kyle‟s opinion though, that was much better than the
special spot and what Edan liked to do to him there. Right now,
wa...
Can I go outside and play with Kyle out back until then?”

          “Yes, but no later than half-past six. Please, do as
...
Edan punched him in the chest.

       “I said you stupid fat pig, am I your best mate?”

       Scared of what might be c...
The sun was starting to set. Edan had to hurry. He bent
   down and put the knife under Kyle‟s tiny penis and testicles.
 ...
She shook her head. Olivia had been an unwilling player in
this scene or variations like it for years. Trevor opened a whi...
At first he was terrified but then gradually his terror turned
into disdain for the women on the painful end of his father...
L
                ondon, England




      Winter of 1995




      Edan, now ten years old, rarely let a day go by withou...
He walked into his parent‟s bedroom. She wasn‟t in her
usual spot. No one was in the kitchen either, which meant no
hot ch...
Edan put the mug down and listened closely. He heard
the soft thump again. It sounded like someone was in one of
the upsta...
Then it happened. On Boxing Day, Christopher and the
other staff had gathered in the dining room, as per Grahame
family cu...
went straight to his mother‟s room, sat on her bed and waited.
Then he made a decision, went to the kitchen and came back....
“Would my father like the way you smell right now?”

          “Edan I said stop it!” She slapped at one of his hands.

  ...
“And you…I thought you weren‟t like that…but no you‟ve
just proved to me that women are all alike. I don‟t love you,
mothe...
H
                  ouston, Texas




      Summer of 1997



      “Inside   the   Harris County    courthouse, the    yo...
Edan was escorted out of a back entrance to a bus
waiting to transport him to his new temporary home. He was
drenched in s...
Edan closed his eyes again and once more fell into a
deep sleep. The next time he opened his eyes, he felt almost
normal. ...
really in charge, the gang initiated each one by „cutting‟ them
in.

       “What? You blokes like looking at my pretty fa...
K
         ing James Version




The Book of Genesis

Jack the Ripper




       Chapter 1

   1   August 1888 – body of M...
4   And God saw the light, that it was good: and
         God divided the light from the darkness.

           5   Next Ki...
God saw that it was good.

       1   Observations: Chose only weak women –
1   poor old prostitutes – not very clever – l...
Chapter 1

       1    His crimes though never really publicly
     known inspired movies like Psycho and Texas
     Chain...
6     Then she arose with her daughters in law, that
    she might return from the country of Moab: for she
    had heard ...
and should also bear sons;

           1   Observations: Wasn‟t the killing he liked,
     3   it was the mutilation – pre...
K
         ing James Version




The Book of Esther

Aileen Wournos



       Chapter 1

   1   History of sexual abuse an...
times.

           6   Where were white, green, and blue, hangings,
         fastened with cords of fine linen and purple ...
1    But the queen Vashti refused to come at the
2   king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore
    was the king ve...
was eventually executed.

           1   Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media
     8   say this day unto all the ...
K
         ing James Version




The Book of Isaiah

Jeffrey Dahmer



       Chapter 1

   1   Was molested as a child – ...
backward.

       5     Second, third and fourth kills – Seven
     Tuomi, James Doxtator, and Richard Guerrero
     – all...
1    Hear the word of the LORD, ye rulers of
0   Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, ye people
    of Gomorrah.

    ...
K
              ing James Version




     The Book of Ezekiel

     Theodore Bundy



            Chapter 1

        1   ...
midst of the fire.

      5    Second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth kills –
    Donna     Manson,    Susan    Rancourt,    ...
1    Last kill – Kimberly Leach – a twelve
     2   year old girl raped and beaten to death.

           1    As for the l...
K
         ing James Version




The Book of Jonah

The Zodiac



       Chapter 1

   1   NEVER CAUGHT!

   2   Arise, go...
shot nine times – she died. Zodiac then called
         police to tell them where to find the bodies.

           6     So...
1   head.

      1     And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast
2   me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unt...
The Book of Matthew

     Richard Ramirez “The Night Stalker”




        1   Had early physical abuse, also had a
     co...
thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people
    Israel.
    Mic 5:2

      7       Third kill – Sixty four Vince...
1   Sixth and seventh kills – Patty Higgins
     3   twenty three years old, and Mary Cannon
         seventy seven years ...
Jer 31:15

      1   Tenth and Eleventh kill – sixty nine year
9   old Max Kneiding and his wife Lela were shot
    to dea...
K
               ing James Version




     Romans

     Ken Bianchi and Angelo Buono “The Hillside Stranglers”



       ...
6 Among whom are ye also the called of Jesus
Christ:

    7 Observations: Both men had women only
pattern – were obsessed ...
3 Gacy liked to pick up young boys, ex-
     convicts   and    male    prostitutes.    He   would
     sexually torture th...
K
          ing James Version




The Book of Revelation

Edan Grahame




   1   My first two kills – Kyle = (Curiosity) ...
6   And hath made us kings and priests unto God
         and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for
         ever an...
1     Observations: I will be a shadow walking
3   through the streets of the world. I‟ll be as soft
    as a whisper and ...
L
                 ynda‟s Story




         Houston, TX

         Summer of 1997



         Cynthia Carmichael, CeeCee t...
sleep. Every time the little girl closed her eyes, the memory of
her dead mother threatened to overwhelm her.

      CeeCe...
“I‟ll wait for the Doctor here…with my daughter.”

       “Mrs. Carmichael…I must insist.”

       While the two argued qu...
Lynda put it all behind a wall inside her mind. Unable to
process what had happened to her, she did the only thing a
child...
L
               ondon




       Winter of 1999



       Edan lay awake in the dark of his bedroom. His gut
churned insi...
correctional facility in Texas where he‟d been placed. That was
two years ago. Tonight would mark the true beginning of hi...
pulled on the hood of her heavy coat and tied it under her chin.
The ice cold night air made her eyes water.

      She wa...
Edan laughed and squatted down in front of her. He put
his hand between her legs.

          “If I rub it for you, will yo...
As he pounded her from behind he demanded, “How
many? How many other dicks have been in there?”

      “Stop it! You‟re hu...
Edan shot his semen into the muddy water of the
Thames. He cleaned his hands and penis. He sat beside the
dead girl and ca...
L
                 ynda‟s Story




         Houston, TX

         Winter of 2001



         Lynda could hear the fight f...
Lynda instinctively pulled her legs closer and covered her
ears.

        “I want to apologize if what I‟ve done hurt you ...
She hit Lynda again and again. Lynda just laid there and
cried. Finally, tired of the mess, CeeCee stomped out of the
hous...
L
               ynda‟s Story




      Houston, TX

      Summer of 2003



      School was torture for Lynda. She never...
Lynda always wore clothes that were shapeless and
unflattering. Today she was in an oversized dirty white t-shirt
and jean...
“Open up, girl!”

       Lynda‟s body stiffened. She heard Earl try the doorknob.

       “Goddammit I said open up!”

   ...
pasted firmly on her face. She‟d learned two years ago that to
forget and pretend was to survive.




68
L
                 ynda‟s Story




         Houston, TX

         Fall of 2005



         CeeCee was tired. Tired of wor...
to tell this woman that her mother was usually too busy trying
to avoid being hit to do laundry.

       The note was from...
“Lynda please.” He sounded so sincere that she turned
and stopped.

       “I just need to talk to you.” He gestured towar...
Lynda gripped the rock so tight that her fingers bled. She
sinned? Not those who hurt her, but her… it was her fault…her
s...
CeeCee was an expert in denial. Her mother had taught
her to master that art well growing up. Without a word she
cleaned u...
L
                ynda‟s Lie




       March 2005

       Hi. My name is Lynda Carmichael. Let‟s see…I just turned
sixtee...
I mean they have real castles over there and a real
queen. I mean how cool is that! I might even meet a real live
prince t...
L
                ynda‟s Lie




        Chapter 1

        April 15 2007



        Roses. Her mother‟s dry skin stilled ...
The glare of the white lights in the hospital corridor hurt
her eyes. Lynda blinked several times and methodically made
he...
Jill stared intently at the lost girl standing in front of her.
She was around sixteen, long, straight brown hair with a f...
The narrow and dark streets of Edinburgh made her feel
claustrophobic and unreal, as if she were floating outside of her
b...
Something in his eyes made her heart almost stop
beating. He was beautiful, but in a way that was hard to
describe. His ha...
C
                 hapter 2




       48 Hours Later



       “Ok. Let‟s go over this again. Two days ago you were
warm ...
Edan. She let his name move through her mind and down her
body.

        “I don‟t know who was in that car. I don‟t know h...
C
                hapter 3




      REWIND



      “Edan turn down that noise.‟ Said Jill, “it‟s really hurting
my ears....
Lynda, breathing hard, tried to open her door. It was
locked. She reached for the lock. It was broken. Edan saw her
and la...
Edan nodded at Dusty who grabbed Lynda by the hair,
yanking her up against the seat. Edan leaned over until he was
inches ...
“Edan, I‟ve got her arms. How „bout you hold her damn
legs.”

         “Such a smart ass. One day you‟ll pay for that.”

 ...
Edan, starting at the tip of her chin, slowly cut down her
neck and onto her chest, stopping at Jill‟s breastbone.

      ...
E
         dan‟s Truth




       Poor little Yankee bird, trapped helpless in my cage. But,
dear Reader, like I told Lynd...
C
                  hapter 4




       FORWARD



       Chief Constable Simmons walked out in to the frigid
Scottish air...
“Is the babe alive?” A young male reporter called out.

        Simmons stopped and turned back to face the crowd
again. H...
“I didn‟t kill anyone! I didn‟t! If that baby died, it was
because of someone else.       Not me! I only wanted to get it
...
L
               ynda‟s Lie




      September 15, 2007



      My adopted mom died today. I should be crying but I‟m
to...
Even though I have never let anyone go all the way, I‟m
not that stupid, there are a couple of things I will do that seem
...
1.

       Chief Constable Simmons crossed over the yellow tape
that separated the public from the crime scene. He looked ...
Her diminutive size did not match the booming sound of her
voice or the authoritative way she managed her technicians.

  ...
No! That was wrong. He couldn‟t be there. But she could
see him clearly. He waved his hand over the cake and it
disappears...
E
         dan‟s Truth



                  My sweet beautiful Lynda does have a load full
         of pain inside of her....
C
                hapter 5



                       “Now that I‟ve got you outside and
                looking more digni...
1.

          “Lynda, you have to start talking to me. I can‟t help you
if you don‟t cooperate.” Dr. Michaels said slowly ...
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  1. 1. Lynda’s Lie By PS Henderson How delightful are the pleasures of the imagination! In those delectable moments, the whole world is ours; not a single creature resists us, we devastate the world, we repopulate it with new objects which, in turn, we immolate. The means to every crime is ours, and we employ them all, we multiply the horror a hundredfold. Marquis De Sade 1
  2. 2. You are free: to Share — to copy, distribute and transmit the work Under the following conditions: Attribution — You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work). Noncommercial — You may not use this work for commercial purposes. No Derivative Works — You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work. With the understanding that: Waiver — Any of the above conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright holder. Other Rights — In no way are any of the following rights affected by the license: Your fair dealing or fair use rights; The author's moral rights; Rights other persons may have either in the work itself or in how the work is used, such as publicity or privacy rights. Notice — For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this work. The best way to do this is with a link to this web page. 2
  3. 3. E dan‟s Truth Hello dear Reader, let me introduce myself. I am a highly intelligent, Caucasian male in his early twenties…I have above average looks, I know I‟m attractive to women…and I can leave you in a pool of blood and a universe of pain before you could utter a sound. That‟s right…I‟m a killer. Oh, I don‟t kill just anyone…I always have my reasons. Those reasons just might not agree with you, and your fucked up ideas of morality. But more on this subject later. Right now dear Reader, you are my willing accomplice in this twisted, sick, and gloriously fucking awesome story. The story of my life. I intend to make you watch…make you unable to look away from the blood and semen spattered canvas of my life. I intend to take you by the hand and force you to smell, taste, and touch the dark beauty of my life‟s work. Come into my world. The world of Edan Grahame. 3
  4. 4. P rologue London, England Summer of 1990 The slender framed boy stood and watched the beetle crawl across the rotted body of a dead cat. The wind gently ruffled his short black hair. He picked up a stick and poked at it. More beetles swarmed out of its body cavity. The English summer sun gently shined down on him causing a small bead of sweat to appear on his lip. Edan sat down beside the dead animal. Fascinated, he pushed one of its eyelids up and tried to pop out the cat‟s glazed over eye. “Edan this is boring.” “Shut up Kyle. I‟m practicing.” Kyle, a heavy set boy with sandy colored hair stood behind Edan. “For what? To be a doctor something?” “No you tit. I‟m an evil murderer looking for his next victim.” Edan stood up and turned around so quickly that Kyle fell on his bottom. 4
  5. 5. “Edan stop it!” “Or what? You‟ll tell on me?” “Maybe.” Kyle stood up and rubbed his backside. “And who would that be? Your mum and dad are always too pissed to care if you live or die.” Kyle‟s chubby face crumpled into tears. “Stop crying like some girl or I really will hurt you.” Kyle wiped his tears away quickly. “Is that better?” Kyle asked sheepishly. “Yeah I guess. Now all because of you I‟m bored. Let‟s go to our special spot.” Kyle nodded miserably. He hated the woods behind Edan‟s house. Both boys, each five years old, lived in different worlds. Kyle came from a poor working class family that had lived for generations in poverty on London‟s east side. Each day since school had let up, he fought his way to the affluent west side where Edan lived. They met when Kyle‟s mother had applied to be a maid for the Grahame‟s, Edan‟s parents. She was let go after only two weeks because one morning they found her passed out drunk in the kitchen. By then, Kyle was entranced by Edan and his peculiarities like practicing on dead animals. 5
  6. 6. In Kyle‟s opinion though, that was much better than the special spot and what Edan liked to do to him there. Right now, walking behind his friend, Kyle was wishing he‟d kept his mouth shut. “Kyle, you go and wait for me. I need to check in with mum before she starts looking for me.” While Kyle went around to the back of the Grahame‟s stately home, Edan playfully whistled and walked up the red brick stairway entering his home. He walked through rooms full of plush furniture and expensive antiques until he found his mother lying on her bed with a bath cloth over her eyes. “Mum?” “Edan where were you off to so early? I worry so much about you. I think I worried myself into another sick headache.” “I‟m sorry mummy.” Edan gently patted her hand. Olivia Grahame was the true definition of an upper-class Englishwoman. She made sure that on the outside, the woman that London society saw was proper and above all, discrete. But on the inside she was eaten up with the mental pain inflicted upon her by her husband, Trevor. Edan worshipped her and hated his father. “Your father wants you cleaned up because you will be going with him to one of his meetings tonight.” Edan clenched his fists. 6
  7. 7. Can I go outside and play with Kyle out back until then?” “Yes, but no later than half-past six. Please, do as mummy asks.” “I will.” “That‟s my good boy.” Edan walked to the kitchen. His small face was hard and angry. He opened the drawer where cook kept her utensils and took out a small paring knife. He put it into the pocket of his pants. He smiled and whistled while heading out back towards the special spot where Kyle waited. Edan waved at the gardener who was busy pruning his mother‟s prized rose bushes. Kyle waited nervously for his friend. Maybe he wouldn‟t have to do anything today. Usually, Edan liked Kyle to get naked so he could poke around and practice on him. The last time Edan put a stick up his bum and he was still sore. Edan had laughed until he cried at the sight of his fat friend crawling on all fours like a dog, with a stick poking out of his backside. Sometimes Edan would put his penis into Kyle‟s mouth just to see how long it would take to make him gag. Kyle heard the whistling coming his way and his stomach tightened up inside. “Kyle! Am I your best mate or what?” “What?” Kyle said confused. 7
  8. 8. Edan punched him in the chest. “I said you stupid fat pig, am I your best mate?” Scared of what might be coming Kyle hastily agreed. “Yes, of course you are Edan.” “Good. Strip it all off then.” Kyle, resigned to his fate, took off his clothes. “It‟s not the stick again, is it? I just barely stopped bleeding.” “Stop whining. I swear to God you must be a girl. And no it‟s not the stick. Today I have something even more interesting to practice.” Kyle sat on the ground, and shivered more from fear than from the shadows of the trees that blocked out the sun. Edan took the small knife out of his pocket. Quickly, he made a small cut on Kyle‟s arm. He cried out in pain. “Shut it. I need to see how long it takes a person to stop bleeding and you have enough fat to cut on all day without killing you.” Edan cut a larger gash in the top of Kyle‟s leg. He started to cry but he didn‟t try to stop Edan. He was too afraid to say no. Soon, he was covered with bloody slashes all over his body. He grew faint from the loss of blood and lay down on the damp ground. 8
  9. 9. The sun was starting to set. Edan had to hurry. He bent down and put the knife under Kyle‟s tiny penis and testicles. Kyle tried to move, but he was too weak. “Ever since we met you‟ve been crying like some stupid girl. Now, you‟re going to look like one, too.” Kyle blacked out as soon as Edan started to saw through his genitals. When he finally had them cut off, he stuffed the mess into Kyle‟s mouth and left. Whistling, he walked casually back to the house, tossed the knife into the kitchen dishwasher and rushed upstairs to clean up. While getting dressed in clean clothes, he could hear his father yelling at his mother. Trevor Grahame was a brutal man that enjoyed seeing his frail wife cower in fear whenever he decided to come home. “Olivia! Get your ass out of bed, now!” he yelled. She jumped up and clutching her robe around her thin frame nervously, hurried into the dining room. Trevor pointed at the empty table. “What‟s not there?!” Olivia stood there while tears flowed silently down her face. “Do you see food there? Do you see a bloody drink waiting for me?!” he thundered at her. 9
  10. 10. She shook her head. Olivia had been an unwilling player in this scene or variations like it for years. Trevor opened a whisky bottle and poured a generous glass for himself. “Olivia, there are three things a man expects when he gets married. Food, drink, and sex. All three of which you have failed at miserably.” He downed the drink and poured another. “Is my son ready? Or did you fuck that up, too?” Olivia walked into the living room and called up the stairs. “Edan, sweetheart, are you ready like mummy asked?” Edan slowly walked down the stairs and stopped to hug his mother. “Edan get away from that stupid bitch! You‟ll never grow into a real man unless you get out from behind your mum‟s skirt.” Edan looked small and helpless to Olivia when he left with his father. As soon as it was safe, she took a Valium, and went back to bed. Olivia‟s only safe haven was sleep. Trevor‟s business meetings were not with his associates at the bank he directed. His meetings were with some unfortunate prostitute he‟d bought for the night. Edan had been watching the sadomasochistic games his father was addicted to since he was three. 10
  11. 11. At first he was terrified but then gradually his terror turned into disdain for the women on the painful end of his father‟s whip. Even at his young age he wondered why these kind of women would willingly allow his father to use them like that. To Edan, they must somehow deserve it. Maybe God was punishing them for not behaving like they should. His mother would never lower herself to this level he reasoned. On this night however, he watched quietly lost in thought. He thought about Kyle lying dead in their special spot. Edan wondered when the bugs would start to eat him. The next morning Edan rushed out and checked Kyle‟s body. He had turned blue and was getting stiff. Black ants were crawling in and out of his mouth. Edan heard voices coming his way and ran back home to hide. It was an elderly couple out for a walk through the woods than morning that discovered Kyle‟s body. An intense manhunt hit the poorer sections of London like a bomb. A monster was loose and had tortured one of their own to death. 11
  12. 12. L ondon, England Winter of 1995 Edan, now ten years old, rarely let a day go by without dwelling on what he did to his friend Kyle. He was the monster the police were still looking for, the monster that the reporters on the telly were still talking about and he was the monster his mother had cried for days about. Edan was guilt ridden about upsetting his mother. He still couldn‟t go anywhere alone. The monster might get him too. He walked slightly ahead of his nanny on the way home from school. He dragged his school bag on the ground. It left tracks in the dirty snow. His ears and nose were bright red from the bitter February cold. Edan walked through the gate and ran up the steps. “Mum! Can I have a chocolate? Please I‟m frozen.” He called out running into the house. He tossed his book bag, coat, boots and scarf into a corner by the door. The house was unusually quiet. “Mum?” Edan said again. 12
  13. 13. He walked into his parent‟s bedroom. She wasn‟t in her usual spot. No one was in the kitchen either, which meant no hot chocolate for a very cold Edan. “Shit!” He swore out loud. “Watch your language young man.” Cook said, coming out of the pantry. “Or what, old woman? My father, your boss, let‟s me talk as I please. Now do your job and get me a chocolate.” He sat down at the table. The Grahame‟s cook was a robust older woman with a no nonsense attitude. She sighed loudly but did as the young boy demanded. “Where‟s my mum?” “Now that‟s a question, isn‟t it?” “What you mean?” Edan asked. “Here, drink your chocolate and mind your business, that‟s what I mean.” She set the mug in front of him and busied herself in the pantry again. Edan sipped the hot, sugary sweet brown liquid slowly. Gradually, its warmth spread from his stomach to his fingers and toes. Just as he was finishing, he heard a sound coming from upstairs. 13
  14. 14. Edan put the mug down and listened closely. He heard the soft thump again. It sounded like someone was in one of the upstairs guest bedrooms. It was the maids day off and his nanny lived in a guest cottage, so he couldn‟t imagine who it could be. His natural ten year old curiosity took over and he quietly walked into the living room. He stopped by the staircase banister and listened again. Nothing. Maybe he‟d imagined it. Then he heard a soft feminine giggle. It had to be the maid or the nanny up to no good. Determined to catch one of them, Edan crept quietly up the stairs. He stopped on the landing. Now he could hear a man‟s voice coming from a room at the end of the hall to his right. He walked up to the door and put his ear against it. Olivia Grahame would have never dreamed her son would be listening to her and her lover through the door. Three months earlier, right before the holidays, Trevor had hired a young man to help with some projects around the estate. Christopher was in his late twenties and a struggling artist. In spite of her upbringing and disaster of a marriage, Olivia was quick to notice his long, lean body and rugged good looks. At first, she would secretly watch him work from her bedroom window. Then she started taking better care of her hair and dress just in case they should meet one day. 14
  15. 15. Then it happened. On Boxing Day, Christopher and the other staff had gathered in the dining room, as per Grahame family custom, to be served by the lady of the house, Olivia. That day, after afternoon tea, they talked, hesitantly at first, but gradually the conversation grew stronger. And so did the attraction. Olivia allowed herself to be swept away by Christopher‟s raw, sexual magnetism. For the first and only time in her life, a man‟s touch made her feel alive and beautiful rather than degraded and used. However, she knew the secret trysts between them could never last. Theirs was a doomed love, one destined to end in disaster. This, while she at the moment was savoring the taste of Christopher‟s body, was waiting for her in the shape of her ten year old son. Edan had snuck in and sat on the floor watching his mum doing things he thought only his father‟s bad women did. While sitting there on the cold, hard floor, shock quickly turned into rage. And the force behind that rage broke his young heart in two. After the break, silence filled his being. The pain was replaced with the rationalization that he was not the monster after all. It was his mother. She‟d deceived him for years and worst of all, she‟d proven his father was right. He left the room and quietly shut the door behind him. He also shut the door on what was left of his childhood. Edan 15
  16. 16. went straight to his mother‟s room, sat on her bed and waited. Then he made a decision, went to the kitchen and came back. Standing by the window, his hand played with something in his pocket. Olivia came in soon after, humming an old favorite love song. When she saw Edan, she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Edan, sweetie, I didn‟t realize you were home yet.” “Obviously.” He said dryly. The front door slammed shut. “Must be the wind, don‟t you think, mother?” Olivia sat on the edge of her bed. “Come here to mummy, Edan. Tell her what‟s wrong.” Edan slowly walked over to his mother. His right hand was still in his pants pocket. Olivia patted the bed beside her. “Sit beside me, dear.” “I don‟t think so mother. You don‟t smell so good right now.” Olivia pulled her bath robe around her tighter. “Edan stop that! You sound like your father and I don‟t like it.” Edan crawled up on the bed until he was right behind his mother. Standing up on his knees, he put his hands on her shoulders. He bent down close to her neck. 16
  17. 17. “Would my father like the way you smell right now?” “Edan I said stop it!” She slapped at one of his hands. “Don‟t touch me with those dirty hands. I saw you mother. I saw you!” Edan‟s young voice quivered with rage. His fingers dug into her shoulders. Olivia started to cry. “Edan you are too young to understand some things.” She turned on the bed and faced him. “Christopher and I love each other darling. That‟s what you saw. We were making love.” Olivia reached out to touch his face. He pulled back. “No, what I saw was you with some bloke‟s dick in your mouth.” She slapped him hard across the face. “You have no idea what you are talking about!” Olivia yelled. She moved up on the bed and lay down on a pillow. She curled up in the fetal position. Edan wiped the blood away from his busted lip. “You know what I do understand, mother. I understand that for years I‟ve been watching women do to my father what you did to your so-called beloved Christopher.” Edan said sarcastically. Olivia cried harder. 17
  18. 18. “And you…I thought you weren‟t like that…but no you‟ve just proved to me that women are all alike. I don‟t love you, mother…I hate you.” Olivia cried out louder. Edan took the knife out of his pocket. He moved up behind his mother. Gently he moved her hair away from her neck. Olivia grabbed his left hand and kissed it. Tears ran down Edan‟s face as he plunged the knife into his mother‟s exposed neck. He stabbed her until he was covered in her blood. Calmly he went upstairs and showered. He tossed the clothes into the furnace. Later that night, watching from his bedroom window, he whistled as he watched Christopher being handcuffed and taken away. On the news the next morning, he learned Christopher was charged with the rape and murder of Olivia Grahame. 18
  19. 19. H ouston, Texas Summer of 1997 “Inside the Harris County courthouse, the young offender, who is we have learned a citizen of the UK, is hearing what his fate will be for the double homicide he was involved in earlier this month.” The pretty Hispanic reporter said to the millions of Houstonians that were following the news with morbid fascination. Outside the courthouse, reporters and onlookers could be seen for miles. In stark contrast, the courtroom where Edan Grahame sat waiting was dead quiet. The judge sighed loudly. “The best I can do with this mess is to remand this young man over to the custody of the CRTC. When they find some of his family, then he‟ll be deported back to Britain.” He slammed the gavel down. It was over. The Corsicana Residential Treatment Center was officially under the jurisdiction of the Texas Youth Commission as a place to rehabilitate violent adolescents and children. Unofficially it was considered to be a daycare center for future prisoners in the adult correctional system. 19
  20. 20. Edan was escorted out of a back entrance to a bus waiting to transport him to his new temporary home. He was drenched in sweat immediately. His white jumpsuit stuck to his skin. Edan felt the letters TYC on the back of it burning into him as if they had been branded on him permanently. He felt like throwing up from the heat. When the bus stopped in Corsicana, four hours later, Edan was barely conscious and suffered from heat exhaustion. When he woke up, he had been strapped to a cot with an IV sticking out of the top of his hand. Every muscle in his body ached and his lips were cracked and bleeding. Edan‟s eyes were almost swollen shut. He tried to speak but the pain in this throat was too excruciating. He shut his eyes again and drifted back to sleep. When Edan woke up again, a male guard was standing over him. “You feeling any better?” The tall black guard asked brusquely. Edan didn‟t say anything. His throat was still sore. “I asked you a question son, now answer!” “Fuck you.” Edan barely croaked out. “Listen boy!” The guard yelled. “You are a Texas inmate now son and not some little lord of the castle, got it!? Here you will do as you are told!” 20
  21. 21. Edan closed his eyes again and once more fell into a deep sleep. The next time he opened his eyes, he felt almost normal. He sat up and looked around. His IV had been taken out and he‟d been moved to a regular cell. It was a room about six feet deep and eight feet wide. He was sitting on the bottom cot of a steel framed bunk bed and he was still in the same white jumpsuit. He heard the top bunk squeak. “Hey, you up there.” Edan said loudly. A black boy, about the same age as Edan, jumped off the end of the bunk. He walked over to the open doorway, crossed his arms and looked at Edan. “Listen, dude. I have nothing against you, but what‟s fixing to happen I can‟t stop. Just get it over with so they‟ll leave you alone.” Edan stood up as three heavily muscled, older Mexican boys entered his cell. “Beat it George.” One of them told Edan‟s roommate. He left without looking back. One blocked the front of the doorway and the other two stood in front of Edan looking down on him. The three Mexicans were members of a well known gang, the Cholo‟s, who controlled the CTRC. To make sure new inmates knew who was 21
  22. 22. really in charge, the gang initiated each one by „cutting‟ them in. “What? You blokes like looking at my pretty face?” Edan said sarcastically. Instead of talking back they held Edan and cut him until he cried. It was another two weeks before he was out of the infirmary again and back in the same cell. It wasn‟t the pain but the tears that Edan couldn‟t forget. He had cried just like Kyle and just like his mum. Edan now knew what it meant to be on the other end of the knife. And he could never let that happen again. So, with time on his hands he explored the dark world where he would control the knife and it would be the victims that would cry. The world of the serial sex murderer. He took a Christian Bible he‟d been given during his stay in the infirmary and pasted his research over its pages therefore making his own „bible‟. 22
  23. 23. K ing James Version The Book of Genesis Jack the Ripper Chapter 1 1 August 1888 – body of Mary Anne Nichols found – her throat slashed, her belly slit open and her vagina mutilated by stab wounds – marked the beginning of serial sex murders in criminal history. 2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 3 Next kill – Anne Chapman found neck muscles severed, spinal column almost cut in two and she was disemboweled. Killer sent letters to police signing the name “Jack the Ripper”. 23
  24. 24. 4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 Next Kill – Elizabeth Stride – throat slit but was interrupted so no mutilation could occur. Immediately afterwards Catherine Eddows was found – throat slit, face disfigured, cut open from rectum to sternum, and her left kidney was taken. 6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. 7 Last kill – Mary Kelly, three months pregnant, killed and butchered – breasts and nose cut off -disemboweled and the flesh was sliced off of her legs. 8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. 9 Then the Ripper disappears from history. HE IS NEVER CAUGHT! 1 And God called the dry land Earth; and the 0 gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and 24
  25. 25. God saw that it was good. 1 Observations: Chose only weak women – 1 poor old prostitutes – not very clever – liked to brag – probably wasn‟t caught because he was dead or in jail – But…my tastes did begin in my country by one of my own! K ing James Version The Book of Ruth Ed Gein 25
  26. 26. Chapter 1 1 His crimes though never really publicly known inspired movies like Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre – he had a deep need to look like a woman. 2 And the name of the man was Elimelech, and the name of his wife Naomi, and the name of his two sons Mahlon and Chilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehemjudah. And they came into the country of Moab, and continued there. 3 Started by robbing graves at night – took „decorations‟ for his house – skulls on the bedposts – skullcaps used as eating bowls – a belt he wore was made of nipples! 4 And they took them wives of the women of Moab; the name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth: and they dwelled there about ten years. 5 Danced by the moonlight in a vest made of breasts and a vagina – also had a face and scalp to put on over his own. 26
  27. 27. 6 Then she arose with her daughters in law, that she might return from the country of Moab: for she had heard in the country of Moab how that the LORD had visited his people in giving them bread. 7 Only responsible for two kills – Mary Hogan and Bernice Owen – both shot in the head. 8 And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the LORD deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me. 9 Police found one of them strung up like livestock, genitals carved out and gutted – also found her heart cooking on the stove. 1 And they said unto her, Surely we will return 0 with thee unto thy people. 1 Gein confessed but was found insane 1 and therefore not responsible! 1 Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I 2 am too old to have an husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have an husband also to night, 27
  28. 28. and should also bear sons; 1 Observations: Wasn‟t the killing he liked, 3 it was the mutilation – preferred freshly killed women for their female body parts – Stupid to want to dress up in the skin of a girl! 28
  29. 29. K ing James Version The Book of Esther Aileen Wournos Chapter 1 1 History of sexual abuse and promiscuity from an early age – high school dropout – teenage hooker and drifter. 2 That in those days, when the king Ahasuerus sat on the throne of his kingdom, which was in Shushan the palace, 3 First kill – Richard Mallory – shot three times in the chest – she claimed he tried to rape her. 4 When he shewed the riches of his glorious kingdom and the honour of his excellent majesty many days, even an hundred and fourscore days. 5 Second kill – David Spears found shot six 29
  30. 30. times. 6 Where were white, green, and blue, hangings, fastened with cords of fine linen and purple to silver rings and pillars of marble: the beds were of gold and silver, upon a pavement of red, and blue, and white, and black, marble. 7 Third kill – Charles Carskaddon found shot nine times. 8 And the drinking was according to the law; none did compel: for so the king had appointed to all the officers of his house, that they should do according to every man's pleasure. 9 Fourth kill – Peter Siems, body was never found. 1 On the seventh day, when the heart of the 0 king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven chamberlains that served in the presence of Ahasuerus the king, 1 Fifth kill – Eugene Burress – shot twice. 1 30
  31. 31. 1 But the queen Vashti refused to come at the 2 king's commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him. 1 Sixth kill – Dick Humphreys found shot 3 seven times. 1 And the next unto him was Carshena, Shethar, 4 Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media, which saw the king's face, and which sat the first in the kingdom;) 1 Seventh kill – Walther Antonio shot 5 three times . 1 And Memucan answered before the king and 6 the princes, Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus. 1 She was caught and confessed but 7 claimed they all tried to rape her and that it was self defense! Meanwhile she stole everything they had and sold it for money. She 31
  32. 32. was eventually executed. 1 Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media 8 say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath. 1 Observations: She killed because she 9 was angry at all that had happened to her – she used the victims as a way of making money – and she thought they deserved it – but can a prostitute really be raped? 32
  33. 33. K ing James Version The Book of Isaiah Jeffrey Dahmer Chapter 1 1 Was molested as a child – liked to experiment with dead animals – recalls his first murder in his late teens. 2 Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the LORD hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me. 3 First kill – Steven Hicks – skull crushed with a barbell, strangled and then dismembered. 4 Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the LORD, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away 33
  34. 34. backward. 5 Second, third and fourth kills – Seven Tuomi, James Doxtator, and Richard Guerrero – all were raped, killed and their bodies were experimented on. 6 From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. 7 Fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth kills - Anthony Sears, Edward Smith, Richard Smith, Ernest Mieler – all raped and dismembered. 8 And the daughter of Zion is left as a cottage in a vineyard, as a lodge in a garden of cucumbers, as a besieged city. 9 Ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth kills – David Thomas, Curtis Straughter, Errol Lindsey, Anthony Hughes – raped and killed while trying to create the perfect sex zombie by drilling holes in their heads and pouring different acids into the skulls . 34
  35. 35. 1 Hear the word of the LORD, ye rulers of 0 Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, ye people of Gomorrah. 1 Thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth and 1 sixteenth kills - Matt Turner, Jeremiah Weinbeger, Oliver Lacy, and Joseph Bradehoft – raped and killed – some were cannibalized. 1 When ye come to appear before me, who hath 2 required this at your hand, to tread my courts? 1 His last victim escaped and Dahmer was 3 caught. 1 Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil 6 of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; 1 Observations: Too obsessed with sex! 7 But he did find the perfect victims in all those cocksuckers…no one cared! 35
  36. 36. K ing James Version The Book of Ezekiel Theodore Bundy Chapter 1 1 No early history of any abuse or animal torture. He was a man that women were attracted to and trusted. He was also active socially and politically. 2 In the fifth day of the month, which was the fifth year of king Jehoiachin's captivity, 3 First kill – Linda Healy – her body was never found – only a blood stained bed and her blood soaked nightgown which was hung up in her closet! 4 And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the 36
  37. 37. midst of the fire. 5 Second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth kills – Donna Manson, Susan Rancourt, Roberta Parks, Brenda Bell, Georgeann Hawkins – all raped and beaten to death. 6 And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings. 7 Bundy‟s pattern had emerged – all pretty, dark haired young women that closely resembled each other. 8 And they had the hands of a man under their wings on their four sides; and they four had their faces and their wings. 9 He was caught after killing at least twelve other women in a four state area – but he escaped. He ended up in Florida where he invaded a sorority house – raped four girls, two were beat to death. 1 Thus were their faces: and their wings were 1 stretched upward; two wings of every one were joined one to another, and two covered their bodies. 37
  38. 38. 1 Last kill – Kimberly Leach – a twelve 2 year old girl raped and beaten to death. 1 As for the likeness of the living creatures, their 3 appearance was like burning coals of fire, and like the appearance of lamps: it went up and down among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning. 1 Finally caught and sentenced to death – 4 in his last interview he confessed to at least twenty eight murders – unofficial estimates put the death count much higher – maybe around two hundred fifty! 1 Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold 5 one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces. 1 Observations: Almost the perfect killing 6 machine! Too set on type of victim though – but it was brilliant to carry on his work in more than four states! 38
  39. 39. K ing James Version The Book of Jonah The Zodiac Chapter 1 1 NEVER CAUGHT! 2 Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is come up before me. 3 First kill – Cheri Jo Bates – stabbed in the chest and back, throat slashed so deeply she was nearly decapitated. A letter was sent to the media stating “more will die”. 4 But the LORD sent out a great wind into the sea, and there was a mighty tempest in the sea, so that the ship was like to be broken. 5 Second kill – David Faraday shot four times but lived, his girlfriend Betty Lou Jensen 39
  40. 40. shot nine times – she died. Zodiac then called police to tell them where to find the bodies. 6 So the shipmaster came to him, and said unto him, What meanest thou, O sleeper? arise, call upon thy God, if so be that God will think upon us, that we perish not. 7 Sent more letters to the media declaring “I like killing people because it‟s so much fun.” 8 Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray thee, for whose cause this evil is upon us; What is thine occupation? and whence comest thou? what is thy country? and of what people art thou? 9 Third kill – Bryan Hartnell – stabbed five times in the back – survived, his girlfriend Cecilia Shepherd stabbed fourteen times – she died. 1 Then were the men exceedingly afraid, and 0 said unto him. Why hast thou done this? For the men knew that he fled from the presence of the LORD, because he had told them. 1 Fourth kill – Paul Stine – shot in the 40
  41. 41. 1 head. 1 And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast 2 me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you. 1 And then the Zodiac disappears. 3 1 Wherefore they cried unto the LORD, and 4 said, We beseech thee, O LORD, we beseech thee, let us not perish for this man's life, and lay not upon us innocent blood: for thou, O LORD, hast done as it pleased thee. 1 Observations: No noticeable victim 5 pattern – male and female both – liked to brag about his work – I can‟t see him/ or her stopping the slaughter willingly – he was too far ahead of the cops! K ing James Version 41
  42. 42. The Book of Matthew Richard Ramirez “The Night Stalker” 1 Had early physical abuse, also had a cousin that liked to show him photos of women being raped and killed. 2 Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him. 3 First kill – seventy nine year old woman – beat to death – right afterwards he raped two girls ages six and nine. 4 And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born. 5 Second kill – shot and killed thirty four year old Tshian Yu – then he abducted another child and molested her. 6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of 42
  43. 43. thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel. Mic 5:2 7 Third kill – Sixty four Vincent Zazzara was beat to death and his wife Maxine was stabbed to death – her eyes were carved out as trophies. 8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also. 9 Fourth kill – sixty five year old William Doi – shot to death 1 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with 0 exceeding great joy. 1 Fifth kill – eighty four year old Mabel Bell 1 – beaten to death – Ramirez drew pentagrams on her body and walls. 1 And being warned of God in a dream that they 2 should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way. 43
  44. 44. 1 Sixth and seventh kills – Patty Higgins 3 twenty three years old, and Mary Cannon seventy seven years old – both had their throats slashed. 1 When he arose, he took the young child and 4 his mother by night, and departed into Egypt: 1 Eighth kill – Sixty one year old Joyce 5 Nelson – beaten to death. 1 Then Herod, when he saw that he was 6 mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently enquired of the wise men. 1 Ninth kill – thirty two year old 7 Chaimarog Khoranath – beaten to death – and then his wife was raped and his eight year old son was also beaten. 1 In Rama was there a voice heard, 8 lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. 44
  45. 45. Jer 31:15 1 Tenth and Eleventh kill – sixty nine year 9 old Max Kneiding and his wife Lela were shot to death. 2 Saying, Arise, and take the young child and 0 his mother, and go into the land of Israel: for they are dead which sought the young child's life. 2 In total – he was charged on thirteen 1 counts of murder and thirty counts of sexual assault. He was sentenced to death and is waiting for an appeal. 2 But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in 2 Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee: 2 Observations: Mainly liked to target the 3 very young and the elderly - no challenge to him – he‟s a coward! 45
  46. 46. K ing James Version Romans Ken Bianchi and Angelo Buono “The Hillside Stranglers” 1 These were cousins that first got their start in the white slave racket – then they turned to rape, torture and murder. 2 (Which he had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures,) 3 From October 1977 until Jan 1979 these two hunted, captured, raped and tortured twelve women and girls – the youngest twelve years old and oldest twenty seven. 4 And declared to be the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead: 5 Bianchi, the youngest of the two was caught first, then Buono. 46
  47. 47. 6 Among whom are ye also the called of Jesus Christ: 7 Observations: Both men had women only pattern – were obsessed with inflicting as much pain as possible – pretty stupid pair if you ask me! K ing James Version The Book of James John Wayne Gacy “The Killer Clown” 1 He was physically abused as a child and a hypochondriac – in early twenties he was convicted on sodomy charges. 2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 47
  48. 48. 3 Gacy liked to pick up young boys, ex- convicts and male prostitutes. He would sexually torture them and then strangle his victims to death. The time frame of the victims is unknown. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 5 In total – thirty three bodies were found buried in the crawlspace under his house – he was caught when the smell became too overpowering. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7 He was sentenced to die and executed in 1992. 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 9 Observation: Another sex obsessed idiot! 48
  49. 49. K ing James Version The Book of Revelation Edan Grahame 1 My first two kills – Kyle = (Curiosity) - Mum= (Revenge) 2 Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw. 3 Future kills – try not to let my dick choose my victims or get me caught. 4 John to the seven churches which are in Asia: Grace be unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come; and from the seven Spirits which are before his throne; 5 Victims can not be the same type – don‟t leave a pattern for them to follow. 49
  50. 50. 6 And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. 7 Spread out the hunting ground – too many in one spot is the way to get caught! 8 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. 9 Anger, passion, revenge – all wrong motives for murder. 1 I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and 0 heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet, 1 Murder should be the fine art of bonding 1 the victim to his/her killer through the seduction of pain and the finality of death. And once the soul leaves the body…it belongs to me…Edan Grahame. 1 And I turned to see the voice that spake with 2 me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks; 50
  51. 51. 1 Observations: I will be a shadow walking 3 through the streets of the world. I‟ll be as soft as a whisper and as sharp as the blade. The echoes of unheard screams will be what I leave behind…and of course, an unrecognizable corpse. I can‟t wait to prowl through the night – this time I will be wielding the knife – I will be the one to cut – not the one to cry. 51
  52. 52. L ynda‟s Story Houston, TX Summer of 1997 Cynthia Carmichael, CeeCee to her friends, sat nervously in the waiting room of the social services section of Texas Children‟s Hospital. As soon as she‟d seen that poor little girl on TV being taken out of that house of horrors, CeeCee knew she wanted to be that child‟s mother. The thirty-nine year old, recently widowed, petite brunette wanted or needed someone to take care of again. In another part of Texas Children‟s, a six year old girl sat on a hospital bed. She was dressed in a blue gown with tiny images of Mickey and Minnie Mouse dancing all over it. Lynda hugged her knees to her chest, her long brown hair hung limply around her face while she rocked back and forth. If she could just keep moving this way forever then maybe the blood would disappear and she would be clean again. A nurse had been assigned to watch her constantly. So far, Lynda hadn‟t responded to anyone and could barely eat or 52
  53. 53. sleep. Every time the little girl closed her eyes, the memory of her dead mother threatened to overwhelm her. CeeCee approached the nurse sitting and watching Lynda from behind the room‟s observation window. “Can I help you ma‟am?” said the nurse without looking up from her paperwork. “I‟ve been given temporary custody of that sweet little thing in there. The social worker gave me the papers this morning.” CeeCee handed the court documents to her and moved closer to the glass window. “I‟ll call the Doctor and y‟all can talk about how to best care for Lynda.” She smiled and picked up the phone. But before the nurse could say anything, CeeCee walked into Lynda‟s room and sat quietly in a chair beside the bed. Lynda kept rocking. There was an uneaten lunch tray in front of her. The nurse quickly told the Doctor what was happening and hung up the phone. “Mrs. Carmichael I must insist that you leave until Dr. Paterson gets here.” She said walking into the room. “No.” said CeeCee firmly. “I‟m not leaving my daughter.” Lynda stopped rocking and looked at CeeCee. “That‟s what we need to talk about, Mrs. Carmichael. Now please, before Lynda gets upset.” 53
  54. 54. “I‟ll wait for the Doctor here…with my daughter.” “Mrs. Carmichael…I must insist.” While the two argued quietly but urgently, Lynda stared at the woman who kept saying she was her mother. However, instead of seeing CeeCee Carmichael, she saw the corpse of her dead mother sitting there covered in blood. Then the corpse stood up and reached out to touch her with a bloody hand. Lynda screamed and tried to run. Her IV ripped out spraying blood all over her Mickey and Minnie nightgown. The nurse tried to grab her but Lynda bit her hand. CeeCee caught the traumatized little girl from behind. Lynda thought the corpse was trying to kill her. She kicked and screamed at CeeCee. The nurse ran to get a sedative. CeeCee held Lynda tight against her chest. “Shh…Lynda…I‟m not here to hurt you baby.” Lynda thought the corpse was talking to her. “Mommy I‟m sorry! Please, I‟m sorry! Lynda screamed over and over again. The nurse plunged the hypodermic needle into Lynda‟s buttock. The little girl slowly stopped moving and fell into a deep sleep. Finally, her tiny exhausted body slept, and finally the blood disappeared. 54
  55. 55. Lynda put it all behind a wall inside her mind. Unable to process what had happened to her, she did the only thing a child could do to protect herself. She chose to forget. When she woke up again she was hungry and now when she looked at CeeCee, she saw only a woman determined to care for her. 55
  56. 56. L ondon Winter of 1999 Edan lay awake in the dark of his bedroom. His gut churned inside with the ice-sharp pangs brought on by the need for a sexual release. Like a typical fourteen year old boy, Edan‟s erection wouldn‟t leave him alone. But the visions inside his head were not the images a typical fourteen year old boy should be dwelling on. They were visions that ran red with blood and black with pain. Edan closed his eyes and stroked his testicles. Immediately, the images became clearer. The knife in his dreams became one with the penis he was holding in reality. The deeper the knife cut into his imaginary victim, the closer he came to an orgasm. And when the blood flowed so did his semen. He finally slept for a while. It was the last night of the millennium. At midnight, it would be the year 2000, or according to all the media hype, Y2K. After the deaths of his mother, then his father, Edan was adopted by his mother‟s brother and taken out of the 56
  57. 57. correctional facility in Texas where he‟d been placed. That was two years ago. Tonight would mark the true beginning of his chosen career. Edan looked at the clock, the dial glowed 10:30. Time to clean up and get ready He was meeting a date by the riverside. A date with a girl named Jennifer and it was also a date with destiny. They‟d been seeing each other for the last few weeks. Edan had walked her home from school, taken her to the movies, exchanged a few wet kisses and tonight he was planning to literally charm her pants off. Jennifer Marten was the typical fourteen year old girl. She liked the shops, gossiping, and catching the attentions of handsome young boys like Edan. In her opinion he was worth the risk she was taking tonight. Jennifer was sneaking out to meet Edan. Her parents were having a New Years party and it should be no problem getting away. She checked her face and hair in the mirror. She was a classic English beauty with a strong Roman nose, chubby cheeks, golden-blonde hair and ice-blue eyes. She also had learned from an early age how to use her looks to her advantage. It was almost eleven o‟clock. Jennifer snuck out of her room and into the street through her bedroom window. She 57
  58. 58. pulled on the hood of her heavy coat and tied it under her chin. The ice cold night air made her eyes water. She walked through the crowds to a path that led down to a wooded area on the Thames. There were already several couples spread out on the riverbank. She spied an empty spot and walking quickly, her boots crunching the frozen ground, she made her way to the river‟s edge. Jennifer sat beneath a large tree and watched for Edan. She could hear the current of the Thames rushing by and the muted laughter of the lovers sitting upstream from her. Across from her and up to the left, she could see the London Eye. The wheel sat silent and unmoving. Jennifer leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes. She wondered what it was going to be like with Edan. She‟d been sexually active for a year already and knew what was going to happen tonight. New Years Eve fireworks and Edan Grahame, both were a pretty exciting prospect to her. Confident no one was watching she rubbed her crotch through her jeans. “What are you doing you naughty little girl?” Edan said from behind her. Jennifer nearly jumped out of her skin. “Edan! Don‟t you dare sneak up behind me like that.” She crossed her arms across her chest. 58
  59. 59. Edan laughed and squatted down in front of her. He put his hand between her legs. “If I rub it for you, will you stop being angry with me?” Jennifer crossed her legs, trapping his hand. “Only if you do it the way I want…not how you‟d like to do it.” Edan moved closer to her and kissed her. His tongue found hers and Jennifer kissed him back. He moved his right hand from between her legs up underneath her coat and her sweater. He gently squeezed her small, firm breast. Jennifer kissed Edan harder and rubbed his erection with the palm of her hand. “Why didn‟t you tell me what a dirty little girl you are?” He whispered against her face. “Just shut up and let‟s do what we came here to do.” She whispered back. “Stand up then.” She stood up and turned around to face the tree. Edan pushed up against her, reached around and unbuttoned her pants. He pulled them down to her thighs. Her vagina felt hot and wet. Jennifer gasped when Edan plunged his penis into her. He pushed her face into the rough bark of the tree. 59
  60. 60. As he pounded her from behind he demanded, “How many? How many other dicks have been in there?” “Stop it! You‟re hurting me!” Jennifer cried. “Answer me then slut.” “Three, alright, now stop, please stop!” “Oh, but I‟m not done yet…I have to add my jizz to the three others you‟re carrying around.” Jennifer tried to struggle away from him but Edan held her firmly up against the tree. The bark made deep scratches in her face. “I hate you!” she started to cry harder. Edan pulled the knife out of his pocket. He moved the hair away from her neck. “You can‟t hate me love…I‟m your last…and I own you.” Edan said, withdrawing his penis before he could orgasm. “What…” Jennifer uttered the last word she would ever say as Edan slowly pushed the blade through her windpipe. The blood covered the side of the tree. Jennifer‟s body slumped to the ground. Edan looked around; no one had noticed the two young lovers. He went down to the water and finished by masturbating. 60
  61. 61. Edan shot his semen into the muddy water of the Thames. He cleaned his hands and penis. He sat beside the dead girl and carefully pulled her pants back up. “The night‟s not over Jennifer my love. I still have a lot of ways to penetrate you, yet.” Edan said quietly patting her ass. Big Ben chimed in the New Year and the fireworks spread across the sky. Edan smiled. To him, it was a beautiful beginning to the year 2000. 61
  62. 62. L ynda‟s Story Houston, TX Winter of 2001 Lynda could hear the fight from her safe haven underneath the porch. She sat there nervously waiting for the coast to clear while watching out for fire ants and spiders. The front door slammed and another one of her mother‟s boyfriends walked out. Since CeeCee had adopted Lynda four years ago, there had been many scenes like this one. Lynda was especially glad to see this one leave. CeeCee sat on the couch crying. Her mind still refused to believe what her eyes had seen earlier. Dave couldn‟t have done it. He just couldn‟t have. Lynda heard Dave walk down the steps and she held her breath. He squatted down in front of the sagging wooden porch. “Lynnie, sweetheart, I know you are under there and I know you can hear me.” 62
  63. 63. Lynda instinctively pulled her legs closer and covered her ears. “I want to apologize if what I‟ve done hurt you in anyway.” Lynda quietly began to rock back and forth. “I really thought you wanted me to be that close to you.” Lynda thought her insides were going to explode in pain. Dave walked to his car and out of her life. She crawled out from under the porch and cautiously opened the front door. CeeCee was still crying. Lynda sat on the couch beside her mom and rubbed her arm. “Mom?” CeeCee turned toward her daughter. Her eyes were suddenly angry instead of sad. She savagely slapped Lynda across the face. In shock, Lynda curled up on the other end of the couch and cried. “How many have left me because of you?!” CeeCee screamed, slapping Lynda again, causing her nose to bleed. “It wasn‟t Dave‟s fault, was it?! It was yours…you must have wanted him to touch you or a good man like that wouldn‟t have gone near you!” 63
  64. 64. She hit Lynda again and again. Lynda just laid there and cried. Finally, tired of the mess, CeeCee stomped out of the house for her favorite bar. She needed a drink. Lynda ran for her bedroom closet as soon as her mother left. In the house, it was the only place where she hadn‟t been hurt by Dave. She rocked back and forth and closed her eyes. Her mind, in order to protect Lynda, began the process of shutting off the pain. Soon Lynda had no connection to her body at all. She was safe in the fantasy world she‟d created where men didn‟t force you to touch them and mothers didn‟t put the blame on you. Lynda sat like that for hours rocking back and forth and smiling. Then her mother stumbled in drunk with a new man. The nightmare for Lynda would continue. 64
  65. 65. L ynda‟s Story Houston, TX Summer of 2003 School was torture for Lynda. She never seemed to fit in with her peers. In Texas, girls are expected to focus on looking as pretty as possible starting at a very early age. They are also encouraged away from subjects like math and science and pushed towards activities like cheerleading. Lynda wasn‟t interested in either one. At twelve, she didn‟t care or know how to properly clean her face or hair. During her period, it was almost impossible to find any students to sit next to her because of her body odor. Today was the last day of school. She walked slowly home. It was already so hot that the bottoms of her shoes were sticking to the sidewalk. Lynda‟s greasy brown hair dripped with sweat. She clutched her books to her chest and kept her eyes on the ground. She hated home worse than school, but at least at home she had a place to hide. 65
  66. 66. Lynda always wore clothes that were shapeless and unflattering. Today she was in an oversized dirty white t-shirt and jeans. It was another way for her to hide. Lynda walked through the dead grass in her yard towards the small bungalow type house her and her mother lived in currently. Once inside, the cold air conditioning made her shiver. It was a shabby cheap place with well used furniture and thread bare carpets. Lynda grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator and headed for her bedroom. CeeCee wouldn‟t be home for another couple of hours. Hopefully „Uncle Earl‟ wouldn‟t come home until later either. He was just another link in the chain of men that liked to hurt her and her mother. Lynda locked the bedroom door behind her. She lay down on her bed and looked around. A huge poster of Jim Morrison looking down at her from the opposite wall was the room‟s only decoration. His picture represented freedom from the world and she wished she could walk into it and escape. The front door slammed. A male voice called out “Lynda! Where are you, girl?” Earl Boudreaux was the typical stereotype redneck; too much weight, too much beer and not enough ambition to keep a job. But Earl also had a dirty secret. He liked to abuse pre- teen girls. He banged on her door. 66
  67. 67. “Open up, girl!” Lynda‟s body stiffened. She heard Earl try the doorknob. “Goddammit I said open up!” Lynda couldn‟t say a word as he continued to beat on the door. Earl even tried kicking it down. Miraculously it held fast. Finally he gave up. When it was quiet, Lynda started breathing normally again. However, the pain inside was almost unbearable. She needed to let it out somehow. On her bedside table was a metal nail file. She picked it up and stared at it. Lynda turned it over in her hands. She laid it on the bed and stood up. She took off her jeans and sat back down. She picked up the file again. Lynda drew it across her bare thigh. It made a deep red scratch. She did it again, only harder this time. A thin red line of blood appeared. A rush of adrenaline hit her and for a brief moment one pain obscured the other. Lynda cut the other thigh much deeper that the first. The high lasted longer, too. After cutting herself four times she felt free enough to close her eyes and escape into her fantasy world. But sexual feeling now lived in this world, also. Still bleeding from her legs, she masturbated. The shame of her orgasm forced her to retreat even further from reality. When CeeCee got home from work Lynda had a fake smile 67
  68. 68. pasted firmly on her face. She‟d learned two years ago that to forget and pretend was to survive. 68
  69. 69. L ynda‟s Story Houston, TX Fall of 2005 CeeCee was tired. Tired of working for nothing, tired of her cheap life and tired of men. When this last one walked out she didn‟t replace him immediately with another just like him. Instead, she finally looked at her daughter and she didn‟t like what she saw. CeeCee had to admit that she‟d been a poor choice as a mother for Lynda. But maybe it wasn‟t too late. Maybe she could be the mother she should have been for the past eight years. Lynda sat bored in the last class of the day. Math was worse that a foreign language to her. The person behind her handed Lynda a note. After she turned back around, he pinched his nosed and waved at the air. She was used to the comments and the cruel laughter. Even one of her teachers had asked her why she didn‟t make sure she had clean clothes. Lynda couldn‟t find the voice 69
  70. 70. to tell this woman that her mother was usually too busy trying to avoid being hit to do laundry. The note was from one of her main tormentors, Jake Allen. It read „let me walk you home.‟ Lynda wadded it up and threw it on the floor. When the bell rang she was the first out of the class and out of the building. Jake followed her. “Lynda wait up please.” He said catching up to her. “Go away.” Lynda said looking at the ground. Jake touched her arm and she stopped walking. “I need to talk to you. I promise it‟s nothing bad, ok? I need to apologize.” Jake said sincerely. Lynda wanted desperately to believe him, but he was one of the most popular kids in school. Jake was a football player, rich and good looking. He was probably only out to hurt her again. Her eyes filled with tears and she began walking away again. Jake kept following trying to get her to listen. To get home, Lynda had to cross the parking lot of an abandoned gas station. Its windows had been broken and the door had been ripped off its hinges. Graffiti marked the walls inside and out. Jake tried one more time and reached out to touch Lynda‟s arm. 70
  71. 71. “Lynda please.” He sounded so sincere that she turned and stopped. “I just need to talk to you.” He gestured towards the old building. “Let‟s go in and pull up a rock, ok?” Lynda shyly nodded. They both went inside and sat down on the rock strewn floor. “First, I want to tell you that the other night in church I got saved.” Jake looked at her with sympathy in his eyes. Lynda stared at the ground in front of her, confused as to why he was telling her this. “Lynda, please look at me.” She lifted her head. “I‟m sorry for all that I‟ve done to you.” Lynda fought back the tears, but she didn‟t look away. “I want to tell you that Jesus loves you too and he sent me to save you.” In a flash the tears disappeared and were replaced with anger. He wanted to save her. Jesus, after watching her suffer for years now sent this boy to „save her‟. Lynda reached forward and picked up a large rock. “He knows you‟ve sinned and loves you anyway.” 71
  72. 72. Lynda gripped the rock so tight that her fingers bled. She sinned? Not those who hurt her, but her… it was her fault…her sin. “He wants to cleanse you of all that dirt inside you and make you new again.” The dirt inside? Does he mean the sperm she was forced to swallow over and over again? How about her hands, her breasts, her vagina? Some prick in one way or another had been all over them too. So, the men weren‟t dirty for doing it, she was dirty because it all had landed on her. In one swift move Lynda hit Jake in the face hard with the rock. He fell back on the concrete floor bleeding heavily. Like a girl possessed by demons, she hit him again and again until bits of brain, skull and blood covered her. When she struck the last blow her body involuntarily had an orgasm. She threw the rock down and stood up. Lynda had to get home. Her house was right behind the gas station but across the street. Carefully, she looked around outside. No one was around. In terror she ran home and into the house. CeeCee stared at her daughter in complete shock. “He tried to rape me.” Lynda said breathlessly. “I killed him.” Lynda started to cry. 72
  73. 73. CeeCee was an expert in denial. Her mother had taught her to master that art well growing up. Without a word she cleaned up her daughter and destroyed the evidence. She burned Lynda‟s clothes in the BBQ pit behind the house. After a bath had washed away Jake‟s blood, Lynda sat on the couch in a pink nightgown. She looked fragile and innocent. CeeCee held her and stroked her hair, quietly assuring her that things were going to change. She apologized for not protecting her sooner. Lynda sat and listened but she didn‟t believe her mother. Something in her had hardened. The gaping wound in her soul had suddenly scabbed over and Lynda no longer wanted to be a victim. From now on, taking care of herself would the top priority in her life. Even if it meant killing again to do it. She pictured Jake laying there in the dark being crawled on by bugs and rats. Lynda smiled and almost laughed when the realization hit her that she had enjoyed killing the holier than thou creep. 73
  74. 74. L ynda‟s Lie March 2005 Hi. My name is Lynda Carmichael. Let‟s see…I just turned sixteen and I‟m from a boring big city in Texas. I was adopted by Ms. Carmichael ten years a go but I call her mom anyway. I don‟t remember anything before that. It‟s always felt weird though to be given up by my real parents. I mean how bad was I for them to get rid of me? Logically, I know it might not be like that. It just feels like it. Since I turned sixteen last week things seem really different all of a sudden. I‟ve got all these feelings swirling around inside that I don‟t understand. It feels like I‟m waiting for something to happen. I don‟t know if what I‟m waiting for is good or bad, though. I used to pray a lot when I would get confused but I finally realized there is no God or if there is one, he‟d given up on me a long time ago. Just like my real parents did I guess. Anyway, today a letter came in the mail and guess where I get to go? Edinburgh, Scotland! We won some kind of vacation and me and mom are really excited about it. 74
  75. 75. I mean they have real castles over there and a real queen. I mean how cool is that! I might even meet a real live prince to turn me into a princess and take me away from it all. You never know. 75
  76. 76. L ynda‟s Lie Chapter 1 April 15 2007 Roses. Her mother‟s dry skin stilled smelled of roses. Morbidly, Lynda wondered when the smell of decay would overpower her mother‟s favorite perfume. She put her head on her mother‟s stomach. The hard rail of the hospital bed dug into her chest. And for the first time, Lynda Carmichael cried. She cried because fate had just taken the only person she had in the world from her. She cried out of fear and she cried because she was now lost in a strange country. This trip of a lifetime was turning into a season in hell. Lynda felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. The concerned Doctor‟s kind expression made her cry harder. Dr. MacNash shook her head. Heart attacks never happen at a good time. “Miss, we need to care for your Mum now. Wait in the hall outside. Some people need to talk to you.” Lynda stood up slowly. She squeezed her mother‟s cold hand one last time and left the room. 76
  77. 77. The glare of the white lights in the hospital corridor hurt her eyes. Lynda blinked several times and methodically made her way to the nearest chair. She looked down at her shoes. Pink leather flats and death didn‟t go together. Her pink cardigan and skirt didn‟t either. “Miss Carmichael?” “Yes?” Lynda‟s voice was hoarse from crying. “My name is Elizabeth Murray. I‟m going to need some information from you.” Lynda nodded, trying to think through the fog of shock and grief. An hour of questioning had left her mentally and physically exhausted. Judging by the look on Ms. Murray‟s face as she left, she thought so too. Not knowing what else to do, Lynda began wandering aimlessly through the hospital. She passed an endless array of faces, and bodies all in various phases of pain and suffering. “Whoa, Miss! You can‟t go in there.” Lynda jumped in fright. She had almost walked right into an operating room. “Oh, my God, how do I get out of this place?” Lynda asked the nurse that had stopped her, in frustration. 77
  78. 78. Jill stared intently at the lost girl standing in front of her. She was around sixteen, long, straight brown hair with a face that could only be called handsome and not pretty. The girls blue eyes seemed to beg for help. She also looked ridiculous in all that pink. Jill smiled, “You look like you need a cup of tea and a friendly ear. Luckily, I can do both.” Lynda looked at the tall, blonde woman with gratitude. After a cup of hot tea, and what seemed like an eternity of venting, Lynda felt strong enough to face what was waiting for her back at the hotel. Jill walked her to the main entrance of the hospital. The grey Scottish sky was getting darker and threatening to rain. “I can‟t let you go out in this mess alone. Wait here while I get my coat and I‟ll walk with you.” Lynda suddenly felt like being alone but Jill had been so nice to her. Just a little while longer and she could get out of her silly clothes and try to get warm. Jill walked up to her again and wrapped her coat around Lynda‟s shoulders. “There, that should keep some of this nasty weather out.” As Lynda pulled it tight around her, the heavy wool scratched her hands. It felt good against her skin. 78
  79. 79. The narrow and dark streets of Edinburgh made her feel claustrophobic and unreal, as if she were floating outside of her body. A cat hissed at her from an alley. She would have loved to have kicked it. The rain started pouring harder. Jill pulled Lynda towards an alleyway. It smelled like urine and rotten tomatoes. “We‟ll wait here for a few. Maybe the rain will let up in a bit.” Lynda leaned up against the rough brick wall. A black four door Lexus pulled up slowly in front of them. Jill smiled. “I know these guys. Hold on while I ask them for a lift.” Jill opened the front door and a blast of music shattered the quiet of the dark street. Jill turned and waved to Lynda to join them. “Come on, we‟ve got it.” Inside the car it was warm and smelled like a mix of sweat and musk. The loud music rattled Lynda‟s already fragile nerves but at least it was dry. Jill was right next to her, and beside Jill was a black man who seemed to be in his early twenties. His face looked like it was made of stone and it was hard to imagine him smiling. The man in the passenger seat was a slender, skinny white man who looked like he couldn‟t stop smiling. But his smile gave her the creeps. And then the driver turned around. 79
  80. 80. Something in his eyes made her heart almost stop beating. He was beautiful, but in a way that was hard to describe. His hazel eyes locked onto hers and held her captive while he sized her up. Edan. That‟s what Jill said… his name was Edan. 80
  81. 81. C hapter 2 48 Hours Later “Ok. Let‟s go over this again. Two days ago you were warm and dry in this car and then end up somehow on a roof holding a dead baby. Now, I need to know, how in Hades did that baby die?!!” The Chief Constable was losing his patience with this so- called child. He ran his hands over his short gray hair. Never in his whole career had he seen such a bloodbath. The entire top floor of that apartment building had been painted, no drenched in blood. And to top it off he didn‟t know if he had a victim or a cold-blooded killer sitting in front of him. Her eyes were dead, her responses seemed rehearsed. Something was just not right with Lynda Carmichael. Chief Constable Simmons looked at her again. “Well? Can‟t you say anything?” Lynda didn‟t speak but her hands started to tremble and her stomach felt queasy from the smell coming from Simmons. He obviously had needed some liquid courage just to face her. 81
  82. 82. Edan. She let his name move through her mind and down her body. “I don‟t know who was in that car. I don‟t know how that baby died! All I know is that I tried to save it. That‟s all I know.” Lynda finally said defiantly. “Well, at least you have a voice. Now, go back to that car that picked you and Jill up. How many men where in it?” “Two. One in the back and one driving.” “Now, that doesn‟t make sense because those two men are dead inside that hell house and the only one left alive is YOU! So, did they kill everyone else and stab each other to death? All the while you are safe and sound outside on the roof holding a dead baby?!” Chief Constable Simmons was losing his patience. He needed another drink. He walked over to the window and looked down at the growing crowd of reporters waiting outside. He put his head up against the cool glass. What was she hiding? And more importantly, why? She had seen this nurse Jill torn up in the car and then, according to her, she was chased down and forced to watch an entire group of people be slashed apart. But who killed the killers? Lynda watched the back of his head. She closed her eyes. She needed to be back in that car. 82
  83. 83. C hapter 3 REWIND “Edan turn down that noise.‟ Said Jill, “it‟s really hurting my ears.” “Fuck you Jill. Or rather after our last date, never mind.” He laughed sarcastically. He started singing to the music blasting out of the radio. “Edan! Come on shut that crap up!” Jill screeched. Edan slammed on the brakes and turned into an alley. He twisted off the radio and turned around in the seat. “Jill. Love. You have no idea what tonight means to me. Does she guys?” Edan‟s accent was strangely soothing to Lynda‟s ears. It wasn‟t the uptight aristocratic British or the unintelligible Cockney. It was smooth and definitely more seductive. Blake, the black guy just stared at the two of them and Dusty in the passenger seat, still grinning idiotically, began nodding his head up and down comically. 83
  84. 84. Lynda, breathing hard, tried to open her door. It was locked. She reached for the lock. It was broken. Edan saw her and laughed. “Lynda. Love. This is our night. I saw it in you when I looked in those ice blue eyes of yours. Jill, you are going to help me prove a theory of mine.” “I don‟t know what fucked-up idea you have in mind and I really don‟t care to hear it. Just unlock the damn doors and let us out! For God‟s sake this girl just lost her mother!” Blake finally said something, “That sucks.” Dusty cackled. Edan shook his head and looked at Lynda with concern. “Then this is really going to free you isn‟t it, girl? No more hiding what you really feel. No more having to worry about what poor old mum is going to think. Blake, hold Jill‟s arms.” Blake viciously grabbed Jill by the arms and pulled her up against his chest. “Dusty, the knife please.” Dusty handed Edan a knife from under his shirt with a theatrical flourish and a giggle. Edan now turned around and faced Jill. Lynda shrieked, “No! Please, no!” She started screaming and banging on the door. 84
  85. 85. Edan nodded at Dusty who grabbed Lynda by the hair, yanking her up against the seat. Edan leaned over until he was inches away from her face. She felt his hot breath stinging her skin. “Tonight, I am going to prove that it is possible to kill someone and not get an erection.” He smiled and the other two laughed. Lynda‟s heart felt like it was going to beat its way out of her chest. He reached over and massaged Lynda‟s breast under her sweater. She felt her nipples harden. “Of course it‟s more fun with one.” He smiled. Jill was crying. She could feel Blake‟s hard-on pushing into her back. “That‟s for you though Edan. I am not ashamed to get it up whenever the opportunity arises. So to speak.” “All I have to do is cough and mine jumps up.” Dusty said callously. “Well, that proves that I am the brains in this adventure. Not you two cads.” Edan turned back to Jill. She began frantically kicking her legs. “Blake, hold her legs still.” 85
  86. 86. “Edan, I‟ve got her arms. How „bout you hold her damn legs.” “Such a smart ass. One day you‟ll pay for that.” With a swift downward motion, Edan stabbed Jill right above both knees. She stopped kicking immediately and started sobbing hysterically in pain. “See how easy that was.” Lynda let out a moan that sounded like a wounded animal. Edan twisted around and flipped down the visor‟s cd holder. “Let‟s see, we need some killer music for this.” Dusty kept Lynda‟s hair tight in his fist. Her eyes watered. She could barely breathe. Lynda could smell and feel Dusty‟s hot, sour breath on her face. Edan put the tip of the knife under Jill‟s right eye. He made a small cut. A tear mixed with the blood and ran down her face, leaving a red trail on her cheek. Edan smiled. He slowly sliced open one cheek. Jill‟s eyes rolled back in her head. Edan calmly sliced the other cheek, following the trail of Jill‟s bloody tears. “Keep her awake.” Blake bit her ear savagely. Jill moaned and sobbed in sheer terror. 86
  87. 87. Edan, starting at the tip of her chin, slowly cut down her neck and onto her chest, stopping at Jill‟s breastbone. “It would be so easy to just plunge this knife deep into your heart and end all of this wouldn‟t it, love?” “But that‟s no fun, is it Lynda?” “I don‟t know what the fuck you are talking about you psycho bastard!” Lynda exploded in rage and terror. “I‟m talking about this…” Edan held up the bloody knife. He ran his finger over the blade. He touched Lynda‟s lips and gently covered them in Jill‟s blood. Then he kissed her. “You know what I mean. You know exactly what I am doing and why. You know me.” he whispered against her face. 87
  88. 88. E dan‟s Truth Poor little Yankee bird, trapped helpless in my cage. But, dear Reader, like I told Lynda in the car…we are the same. So before you feel too sorry for her, notice she didn‟t exactly resist my bloody kiss now, did she? But it‟s not Lynda I want to talk about right now, its nurse Jill. The lovely Jill. We knew each other well. Sounds too fucking Shakespearian for a slut that liked it rough. She‟d get an itch that only I could scratch. Boring for me though. Women like that are a dime a dozen. Tie them up; they beg you to beat their asses, cum on their breasts….then it‟s over. Yawn. I‟d rather be watching a football game. 88
  89. 89. C hapter 4 FORWARD Chief Constable Simmons walked out in to the frigid Scottish air. The reporters started screaming questions at him immediately. He held up both hands. “Please, I have a statement for the press but only a statement. No questions will be answered until we get more information. At five o‟clock this morning, a policeman on foot patrol on Johnston Terrace, noticed a young woman up on the roof of an apartment building. She looked like she was hurt and she was holding an infant. She was unresponsive to the calls of the policeman. Upon entering the building, it was discovered that on the top floor, several residents had been murdered.” He paused. It was more like a scene in a slaughter house than any murder he‟d ever seen. It was going to take weeks just to process. “It does appear that two of the perpetrators have also been killed. At this time we do not know if this young lady is a victim or not.” The Chief Constable turned to walk back into the station. 89
  90. 90. “Is the babe alive?” A young male reporter called out. Simmons stopped and turned back to face the crowd again. He just shook his head and then hurriedly left. Lynda had been led to a cell where a psychologist waited for her. She was an older woman with a long, grey braid and a face that resembled an apple that had been in the sun for too long. Lynda sat on the edge of the hard cot. She wrapped her arms around her stomach. The old pain was starting again. “Are you in any pain?” Dr. Michaels asked in concern. Lynda shook her head. “No, I‟m not in any pain that a Doctor can fix.” “And why is that?” “Because my pain is me, and I can‟t be fixed.” Dr. Michaels frowned. “And what is it about you that can‟t be fixed?” Lynda laughed. It felt good to find something funny about all of this. “You wouldn‟t understand. I was born this way and I‟ll die this way, too.” “Did that baby die because of you?” Dr. Michaels asked in a low voice. 90
  91. 91. “I didn‟t kill anyone! I didn‟t! If that baby died, it was because of someone else. Not me! I only wanted to get it somewhere safe. Somewhere that they couldn‟t hurt it.” “And who is „they‟, Lynda?” “I‟ve told everyone over and over again! Those two men in the car.” “They killed the nurse Jill?” “Yes.” “And all those people in the building?” “Yes.” “Then who killed them?” Lynda stopped just short of saying his name. “How do I know?! They almost fucking killed me! Can‟t you people see that?! Is everyone here really this fucking stupid?” Lynda began to scream and pull her hair. She clawed at her face. Her nails made ragged scratches down her cheeks. Dr. Michaels quickly reached into her bag for a syringe. In one swift move, Lynda was sedated. She lay limp on the cot, her eyes closed and smiling. He was inside her, watching over her and guiding her. Edan. Lynda floated into the darkness of her mind. 91
  92. 92. L ynda‟s Lie September 15, 2007 My adopted mom died today. I should be crying but I‟m too scared to do anything but sit here and look at her. She went from laughing to hurting and then to … dead. It took less than fifteen minutes for her to leave me, too. What am I going to do now without a mom? She wasn‟t perfect but I think she loved me. She taught me a lot about what it means to be a girl. But she wasn‟t perfect. If she had been, she would‟ve protected me from her boyfriends and mine. I mean I know I‟m nothing to look at and I‟m fatter than I should be, but that doesn‟t stop guys from trying to put their hands down your shirt or up your skirt, now does it? Most if that‟s my fault, I guess. I dream about being strong enough to just haul off and slap someone really hard for touching me and then getting bitchy about it. But something inside causes me to freeze up and just lets most of it happen. The word „no‟ can‟t be that hard to say, can it? 92
  93. 93. Even though I have never let anyone go all the way, I‟m not that stupid, there are a couple of things I will do that seem to make these guys happy enough. At least they leave me alone for awhile afterwards. I mean if they asked me to do something then I‟d at least have a chance to say no. But they just expect me to do whatever, whenever. No one wants to know how I feel about anything. My real mom didn‟t ask how I felt about her getting rid of me and my adopted mom didn‟t ask me if it was okay to die and leave me all alone. For once, it would be so nice for someone, anyone to just ask me if it‟s okay. I‟d love to know what it feels like to be given a choice …yes or no. . 93
  94. 94. 1. Chief Constable Simmons crossed over the yellow tape that separated the public from the crime scene. He looked up at the apartment building. It somehow, looked sinister in the fading daylight. He walked up the steps, nodded at the officer at the door and stepped back into a nightmare. The air in the building seemed heavy with the smell of blood, even though the actual bodies had already been removed. Cleaning up the mess left behind would take days. Simmons pushed the button in the lift for the top floor. The old machine groaned in protest. Slowly, it noisily made its way to the fourth floor. The smell got worse as soon as Simmons stepped out of the lift. Immediately, he saw huge splashes of blood painting the walls and the ceiling. He made his way gingerly over several puddles on the floor to the white-coated forensics tech bending down taking a sample. “The guvnor is in the main room, so don‟t ask me anything. I don‟t know a damn thing anymore.” Evidently, the Head of the FSS was not in a good mood. “Chief Constable! In here please. It‟s about time you made your presence known.” Martha O‟Conor looked more like an old fashioned school teacher than the Head of Edinburgh‟s Forensic Science Services. 94
  95. 95. Her diminutive size did not match the booming sound of her voice or the authoritative way she managed her technicians. “I see you are in a mood, Martha.” Simmons said approaching her. “I‟ll let that „Martha‟ comment pass, Chief.” For a brief second, Simmons could see doubt on her face. “You‟d think that with all I‟ve seen in my thirty plus years in forensics that nothing could surprise me anymore. Right now, I‟m thinking of doing the unthinkable and retire after this one.” Simmons, nodded, his stomach was in knots. The heat and smell was making him nauseous. “Can we get some air while we talk?” O‟Conor looked closely at the Chief Constable. “Now I know I‟ve seen everything. You look like a rookie that‟s about to blow his scones all over his nice suit.” 2. Lynda floated in and out of consciousness. Images from her childhood kept getting mixed up with Edan. On her fifth birthday, she was having her first party. Lynda could see herself blowing out the candles and clapping with excitement at the presents. She felt someone caressing her hair, looked up and saw Edan. 95
  96. 96. No! That was wrong. He couldn‟t be there. But she could see him clearly. He waved his hand over the cake and it disappears. The people fade into nothingness. It‟s just her, sitting at an old kitchen table, crying. Edan rubs her arms lovingly and whispers “See how it really was Lynda. There were no parties when you were little.” She looks around the dingy one room apartment. She sees an old sofa, a small black and white TV, and in the far corner, hanging from the ceiling a yellow sheet. And behind the sheet…the shape of a bed. “Stand up.” Edan takes Lynda‟s small hand. “You need to see what you have been hiding all of these years. You need to see the truth.” Lynda wanted to scream, she wanted to run but Edan held her hand firmly in his as they walked toward the yellow sheet. A sour smell invaded her nose and alien noises filled her ears. Edan slowly pulled the sheet back. 96
  97. 97. E dan‟s Truth My sweet beautiful Lynda does have a load full of pain inside of her. And it‟s all courtesy of the woman that squatted down and pushed her out. Her mother. But you know something has always intrigued me. It‟s the term „mother fucker‟. Aren‟t most women either someone‟s mum or going to be one day? Which if that‟s true, it makes all men in reality, mother fuckers. Well, Lynda‟s mum had a lot of mother fuckers in that bed and she was always too busy shooting shit in a vein or snorting it up her nose to care that her child could see, hear, and smell all the semen splashed fun. 97
  98. 98. C hapter 5 “Now that I‟ve got you outside and looking more dignified, are you ready to talk about this atrocity, Chief Constable Simmons?” Simmons leaned up against the side of the building, grateful for the cold air. He sheepishly nodded. “Ok, here is the scenario so far. The tenants in this building were all in the top floor conference room having a meeting. It was probably one of those bitch sessions about management. Anyway, we have ten apartments with three married couples, four single females with a roommate, and three single males. All total, nine women, eight men and one six-week old male infant. All deceased. Adding to the mix, are the two male perpetrators, also deceased. My theory is that those two were the muscle; they restrained the tenants before killing them. But there has to be another perp because after everyone is dead, someone got their jollies off by mutilating the corpses.” Simmons felt a dull ache begin to throb in his temples. “Any sign of another person here besides Lynda Carmichael? “No, none at all, so far. And one more thing, the infant,” she paused, “he died from a broken neck.” 98
  99. 99. 1. “Lynda, you have to start talking to me. I can‟t help you if you don‟t cooperate.” Dr. Michaels said slowly and deliberately as if talking to a small child. “What does it matter?” Lynda asked wearily. She only wanted to go back to her quiet cell. Two policewomen had rudely waked her up, and half-drug her into the interrogation room. Chief Simmons watched from behind a two-way mirror. “It matters to that dead baby.” Lynda‟s eyes watered for a brief second, and then stopped suddenly. “Now, let‟s go back. You are in the car with two men, right? 

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