Transcript of "Big Leap - Following your heart in times of change"
Big Leap Following your heart at times of change An E- ourse to help you connect to your purpose, c live your values and find the courage to make the best choices for you in your life. By Danielle Marchant Enabling Evolution
Life is ever changing, and standing ata crossroads can be a simultaneouslydaunting and exciting experience.Which path do you take? What is the right course of actionfor you, for your family, for your career, for your security?All these questions and more can lead to confusion, panic and fear, makingit even more difficult to know what to do. In the face of this fear you eitherfreeze and do nothing or make your decisions blindly hoping for the best.Having made four of my own big leaps in the past ten years and coachedmany people through theirs, I have seen another way. A way that connectsyou to who you are in the light of the change you face. A way that allows youto be true to yourself in the midst of the confusion and challenge, enablingyou to make choices that are right for you.Blending personal insight with the experiences of my clients, I have writtenthis powerful E- ourse to help you with your change. Do not be deceived, cwhilst it may look simple this process often creates unexpected outcomes!Are you ready for something more in your life?Love, Danielle x
“Twenty years from now I coach people facing big change in their lives. Change such as redundancy, relocation, repatriation. BIG life altering change. Change you will be more disappointed that keeps you awake at night, change that somewhere deep inside you know you want to make. Change that you are struggling to find the by the things that you didn’t do courage needed to take those all important first steps. Over the years I have experienced myself and seen in my clients the than by the ones you did do. desire to control external circumstances whilst facing a challenging crossroads. Writing business plans, calculating finances, leaving jobs, wildly applying for jobs – any job! All are attempts at controlling the external environment. What I have learnt is that by focusing on the So throw off the bowlines. external world the inner world is forgotten. Who are you? What are your passions? What talents do you have? What really makes Sail away from the safe harbour . you happy? By slowing down and shifting the focus from external to internal, you have a far greater chance of creating satisfying changeCatch the trade winds in your sails. that feels aligned to who you are and what you want from your life. This E-course is designed to help you make the shift from your external world to your internal world. It is meant to be read in sequence, Explore. Dream. Discover ” . answering each question deeply before moving onto the next. This is not the time to skip a question, rush to the end or answer superficially. Take your time, relax into the process, give yourself space and time to reflect between questions, and sometimes, if you dare, maybe even do nothing... ~ Mark Twain ~
There are ten questions that are crucial to ask when facing a challenging crossroads.Ten questions 1. What really works in your life today? 2. What do you want? to ask when 3. What makes you who you are? 4. What is your purpose and bigger vision for yourself? facing a 5. What does this mean for you and the change you are facing? 6. What are your options and choices? 7. What are you scared of? challenging 8. Who do you know who can help? 9. What are the first small steps you want to take? crossroads 10. How do you want to celebrate? You will see that the question of acting comes at the end, not at the beginning! You are programmed to “do”, to make things happen and to get things done. Whilst that has a place, your desire to “do” in the face of big change is often driven by fear. Given this is likely to already be quite a scary time, it doesn’t help to fuel your fear! In fact slowing down, taking your time and doing less, not more, at the beginning will ease your journey of change tremendously. Remember sometimes the wisest thing to do is to do nothing...
1. What really works in your life today? The journey of The first question to consider when facing a big change is “what is really working in your life?”.a thousand miles It is easy in the face of the turmoil of impending change to forget that there is much that actually works in your life. You may have a strong family unit, hobbies that you love, a home that you feel safe in, begins beneath friends who bring fun and enjoyment to your life. For the next few days look at your life with fresh eyes – what is really one’s feet. working that matters to you? You may want to start a small journal to capture your answers to this and other questions over the coming weeks. ~ Laozi ~ Tao Te Ching
2. What do you want?“All our dreams can As a child you dreamt and imagined your future in glorious Technicolor. come true, if we Yet as an adult it is easy to lose your connection to the dreamer inside and get caught in the responsibilities of the “real world”. Well it is time to dream again! What do you want in life? Not the have the courage to new car, bigger house, eternal happiness dream, but the deeper passion inside you. Are you a writer, a dancer, a photographer, a designer? pursue them.” What do you want in your life? What are the secret dreams you have yet to share? Find some images that capture this for you. You might want to put them in your journal, create a screensaver or a pin‐it board. If you feel really creative you might want to paint a picture, or design a ~ Walt Disney ~ beautiful vision board full of your secret dreams. Choose pictures that really make you smile every time you see them!
3. What makes you who you are?“We ask ourselves, Knowing what you want, coupled with who you are, makes a powerful combination when facing change! who am I to be Without connecting to who you are, it is easy to be manipulated into situations that are not right for you, by other people who want to getbrilliant, gorgeous, their needs met. There are many layers to you. At your core sit your values, invisible talented and guiding principles that show up in your behaviour. Values such as love, honesty, service, freedom, loyalty, fairness, respect, belonging, honour, integrity and more. Values that when crossed by another person, government or organisation can leave you experiencing an fabulous? injustice. You are also made up of your qualities; kindness, generosity, Actually who are assertiveness, creativity, humour, caring, openness, tenacity, courage and more. Take a moment to reflect on your values and qualities. How would your best friend or closest family member describe you? You could even ask them if you are feeling brave! you not to be?” Finally, add your talents and skills to this description of yourself – now is not the time to hold back! What are the unique gifts you bring to the world? Can you sing? Do you draw? Do you have an eye for colour? Are you brilliant with numbers? Can you turn complex problems into simple solutions? Are you a distance runner? Perhaps you connect naturally and easily with people. ~ Marianne Williamson ~ What makes you you?
4. What is your purpose and bigger vision “Trust yourself. for yourself? Create the kind of self Having reconnected to who you are and what you that you will be happy want, it’s time to think big! Imagine that you have reached the end of your life (a long way off for to live with all your life. you I hope!) As you see yourself looking back on your life, what gave you the most fulfillment? What brought you the most joy? What Make the most of yourself were you doing that made you feel truly alive? Knowing what you know now, what do you wish you had been brave enough to do? You can even write this as a letter to yourself if you wish. by fanning the tiny, Now, placing yourself back in the present day, ask yourself lightly inner sparks of possibility “why am I here?” If you are writing, just let the words flow. If you are using pictures then over the next few days allow yourself to be drawn to images, even if they don’t make much sense to you. If youinto flames of achievement. ” are thinking then don’t push the thoughts too hard, rather let them percolate like fresh coffee in a pot. You never know what thoughts might pop into your head when you are in the shower or even at night whilst you are sleeping. ~ Golda Meir ~
5. What does this mean for you and the change that you are facing? “Choose a job you Uncovering your purpose and bigger vision may take time. Do not worry, just be patient and let it unfold. love and you will Sometimes the clues will come from unexpected sources. Be vigilant, open and receptive to what you hear, feel, see and experience.never have to work a You are at a stage now where you can begin to connect who you are with what you do. Well done for taking your time to explore, and flow with the journey. You may naturally now have more clarity about the crossroads that you are facing, and a stronger sense of day in your life” what is right for you. If not there is no need to worry, you have not finished yet! Today it is time to reflect on your journey so far. What have you learnt about yourself? How do you feel about the change you are facing? What questions, concerns and challenges do you see now? ~ Confucius ~
6. What are your options and choices? If you are not sure where you are going, it is easy to believe that you are directionless, lost.“Not all those who This of course is just the mind playing tricks on you, trying to keep you from taking any moves it deems too risky. wander are lost.” To help with this, it is useful to create a mind map of your choices and options. You can do this by hand -I like to use big paper and coloured pens! You can use an online mind mapping programme such as i-Map, or capture each idea on a post‐it note and stick it on your wall – whatever works for you. The aim is to not hold back at this stage. Capture all of the options, ~ J.R.R. Tolkien ~ possibilities, chances, changes, choices that you see are available to you right now. It does not mean that you are going to action them all. The Fellowship of the Ring For now you are free flowing, brainstorming and being creative. Have fun!
7. What are you scared of? It is natural when faced with big change to feel scared. Change can be overwhelming as much as it can also be fun! “It is only when we have the In my experience of coaching many people over the years the fear courage to face things stems from a lively mind chattering away in the background. You might hear it say things like: “it’s too late to change”, “you are too exactly as they are, without old for this”, “you can’t afford to take these risks”, “you won’t fit in somewhere new”, “you don’t know enough to run your own any self deception or business”, “you will fail”. Notice how in the fear state the mind is hardly supportive and encouraging! illusion, that a light will I want you to treat yourself like your best friend today. Every time you hear that mind chatter I want you to tell the truth to yourself.develop out of events by which The question to ask yourself is “what is really true about this?” the path to success may be It takes courage to respond to your mind chatter honestly so be gentle and make sure that you take a deep breath, finishing with an acknowledgement every time you manage to do it. recognised.” See what difference this makes for you in one day. If it helps I would encourage you to keep practicing this exercise throughout your ~ I Ching ~ change and beyond.
8. Who do you know who can help? “You may never Now you have a map of your choices and options and an awareness of how to manage your mind chatter, it know what results is time to explore who you know that can help you. It is easy to believe that you have to face your change by yourself come from your (more mind chatter!) and yet in my own experience of making Big Leaps if you ask there is plenty of amazing help on hand. I want you to go back to your mind map and for the initial optionsaction. But if you do that you want to explore think of three people in your community, professional network, friends or family who might be able to help you. In these days of social networking you are far more connectednothing, there will be than you realise so if your mind chatter is saying “there isn’t anyone”, I want you to look again! Once you have your names, reach out to those people in a way that no result.” feels right for you. It might be a coffee, a phone call, an email, an invitation to dinner. Connect, be curious, ask your questions and in turn be willing to reciprocate if the other person needs something in return. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~
9. What are the first small steps you“Not I, nor anyone else can want to take? travel that road for you. When facing big change it is easy to attempt to look at what lies ahead in its entirety. You must travel it by Of course this is really an illusion as it is not possible for you to yourself. It is not far predict the future. All you can do is set your compass in the direction of travel and take the small steps needed for you to reach your end destination. – it is within reach. You also need to be prepared to alter your course and sometimes even your final destination as details and new information emerge. Perhaps you have been on Staying true to who you are and your purpose will steady you if you encounter choppy waters along the way. it since you were born, You may of course want to have an overall plan; as one teacher said to me once “that is fine as long as you hold it lightly.” At this stage and did not know.” the questions to ask yourself are: “what is my focus” and “what is the first step I want to take”. Once you have achieved your first step you can then repeat the process, being willing to alter your path as needed. ~ Walt Whitman ~ Leaves of Grass
10. How do you want to celebrate? “Twenty years from now Look how far you have come! Wherever you are on you will be more disappointed your journey, today is a cause for celebration. by the things that you didn’t do How far have you come? What have you learned about yourself? than by the ones you did do. What are you most proud of? What fear did you face? What obstacle did you overcome? Choose how you want to celebrate in a way that feels right for you. You may want a massage, a game of tennis, a luxurious bubble bath. So throw off the bowlines. You may buy yourself flowers, have a drink with your friends or cook a special meal. You might enjoy going to watch a movie, booking Sail away from the safe harbour . a ticket to a sporting event or maybe just giving yourself a whole evening off, just to do nothing...Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover ” . ~ Mark Twain ~
Do what you love, love what you do!Danielle is a coach, consultant and facilitator who has worked withpeople for nearly twenty years. Her own Big Leaps have seen her leavethe (dis) comfort of the corporate world, explore far flung places by landair and sea, and live and run businesses in Asia. She can often be seenfacing challenging situations with courage and a smile!Danielle has coached many individuals through their own Big Leapsoften with unexpected results. As well as coaching, Danielle runs highlyexperiential and creative Big Leap workshops. These events help peoplewho are confused and stressed about change, find a clear way throughby looking at themselves rather than the change they are facing. Daniellesupports people to move through change by helping them connect totheir purpose, values and vision.Her mission is to help you...“ do what you love and love what you do!”Enabling Evolution