Your SlideShare is downloading. ×
Hampshire talk october 2013
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in...5
×

Thanks for flagging this SlideShare!

Oops! An error has occurred.

×

Introducing the official SlideShare app

Stunning, full-screen experience for iPhone and Android

Text the download link to your phone

Standard text messaging rates apply

Hampshire talk october 2013

526
views

Published on

Talk about existential therapy given by Emmy van Deurzen at the Hampshire association.

Talk about existential therapy given by Emmy van Deurzen at the Hampshire association.


1 Comment
2 Likes
Statistics
Notes
No Downloads
Views
Total Views
526
On Slideshare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
1
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
8
Comments
1
Likes
2
Embeds 0
No embeds

Report content
Flagged as inappropriate Flag as inappropriate
Flag as inappropriate

Select your reason for flagging this presentation as inappropriate.

Cancel
No notes for slide

Transcript

  • 1. Existential Therapy: Exploring the Challenges of the Human Condition Prof Emmy van Deurzen HACP October 2013
  • 2. What are the human issues we are facing and how can counselling & therapy help us find the path to a better life?
  • 3. www.nspc.org.uk www.emmyvandeurzen.com www.societyofpsychotherapy.org.uk Facebook and LinkedIn: Existential Therapy www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.icecap.org.uk www.dilemmas.org www.existentialacademy.com
  • 4. Emmy van Deurzen  PhD, MPhil, MPsych, CPsychol, FBPsS, UKCPF, FBACP, ECP, HPC reg •Visiting Professor Middlesex University -UK •Director Dilemma Consultancy •Director Existential Academy •Principal New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling - London
  • 5. Past  Classical education Netherlands (The Hague)  Philosophy masters, Montpellier with Michel Henry (France)  Clinical psychology masters, Bordeaux with Jack Doron (France)  Doctorate in social science: City University with Alfons Grieder (London)  Worked in psychiatry for seven years-private practice since 1978, Lacanian, psychodrama and group therapy training  London 1977-78: Arbours and PA followed by Esalen, USA, Gestalt and bioenergetics  1982: created first masters in existential therapy
  • 6. Books by Emmy
  • 7. most relevant for today’s talk: 2009 book on happiness
  • 8. Existential Therapy  Talking about your troubles is only helpful if you can talk through them in constructive dialogue taking you beyond blame and shame.  No pathology  Focus on Problems in Living  Philosophical view of human existence
  • 9. Focus of existential therapy  Ontological questions  Addressed by tackling everyday ontic problems
  • 10. Camus: Sisyphus’ plight What to believe and how to live in an absurd world?  There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is … whether life is or is not worth living. (Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus)  Is rolling the stone up the hill sufficient to fill a human heart?: meaning is found because of challenges, not despite them
  • 11. There is no abstract ethics. There is only an ethics in a situation and therefore it is concrete. An abstract ethics is that of the good conscience. It assumes that one can be ethical in a fundamentally unethical situation. (Sartre, Notes For an Ethics:17) Sartre’s existential ethics
  • 12. Is human emotional suffering avoidable? Or does the road of life inevitably take us through lows and into dark and scary places?
  • 13. Is happiness desirable? Ordoesitsoftenusand stopusreflectonlife?
  • 14. HUMAN CONDITION Understanding the way in which we strugg with the human condition and how th struggle leads to the experience
  • 15. Existential Therapy Understanding human difficulties, conflicts, paradoxes, dilemmas, contradictions, predicaments  Working with philosophical methods, amongst which phenomenology, dialectics, maieutics, hermeneutics and heuristic methods.
  • 16. Where do I come from? Scandinavian Viking, Danish aristocrat, political/religious leader banished Bismarck, copper smith Central European gypsy, Dutch barge skippers, farmers, art experts, head of antiques auction
  • 17. Grew up after WW2 in war torn Netherlands
  • 18. Terror of Cold War period especially Suez crisis and nuclear threat
  • 19. Classical education
  • 20. Asking Questions and Reflect
  • 21. How to live? What is truth? What is the ultimate value of life?
  • 22. What do we do when crisis hits? In the whirlwind of change we need to find steadiness, persistence and resilience: we need purpose
  • 23. Nobody is spared crisis, Conflict or LOSS Are we ever prepared for the life changing challenges?
  • 24. Even if you play it safe and try to avoid catastrophes You still need courage and persistence to brave unexpected blows of fate: many respond with anxiety and depression
  • 25. Facts: depression  2-10% of European citizens experience depression related problems  Each year: 33.4 million Europeans suffer  Inability to feel pleasure, tiredness, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness and feelings of guilt  Most suicides (30-88%) related to it  60.000 deaths by suicide p.a. in the EU (2X > road acc)  Most common cause of disability in the world, strongly associated with heart disease in linear causal fashion  Total cost p/a: UK: £15 billion USA: $100 billion  Last decade: EU and WHO policy to promote mental health
  • 26. Facts: anxiety  Often considered in relation to stress  Estimated 15.7 million Americans are affected each year  12% of European population at any time  The core features of GAD are chronic (>6 months) anxious worrying with symptoms of hyper vigilance, hyper arousal and tension  But also Phobias, Panic, OCD, PTSD, SAD (social anx)  NICE figures: cost of anxiety in EU: 41 billion Euros (2004 prices)  Long term use of benzodiazepines (Xanax, Librium, Valium, Ativan): worsens it
  • 27. Size and burden of mental disorders  Most frequent disorders: anxiety (14%), insomnia (7%), major depression (6.9%), somatoform (6.3%), alcohol and drug dependency (4%), ADHD (5%) dementia (1-30%)  38.2%, i.e. 164.8 million persons affected per year.  Percentage of disorders of brain: 26.6%, headache, sleep apnoea, stroke (8.24), dementia, brain injury, epilepsy, parkinsons, ms, brain tumours (overlap)
  • 28. People crave happiness and want to eliminate their symptoms in 2010 some 16 million prescriptions were issued for anti-depressants in the UK: a 10% rise on the previous year. Iceland: 9%
  • 29. SSRIs: Happy pills?
  • 30. SSRIs as panacea especially with anxiety, but also NRIs and SNRIs selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (Fluoxetine, Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft) noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (Reboxetine, Edronax, Mazanor) Serotonine- norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (Venlafaxine) (anxiety, ADHD)  From 2006 to 2010: 43% increase in prescriptions for the SSRI antidepressants  2009 BMJ paper titled "Explaining the rise in antidepressant prescribing’’: SSRIs are given for all sorts of problems  2000-2005: already 36% increase in SSRI
  • 31. How do people end up so overwhelmed by their emotional experience? Despair leads to loss of self worth anic at coping alone leads to crippling anxiety significantly increases mortality
  • 32. People expect to feel good But life is not an eternal spring..
  • 33. Unhappiness is not an illness Many people take the view they deserve happiness  On this view, things like love, friendship, meaningful activity, freedom, human development, or the appreciation of true beauty are ‘‘merely’’ instrumentally valuable for us, i.e. they are not good as ends but merely as means to the only thing that is good as an end, namely happiness. Bengt Brulde 2006.
  • 34. What happens when life is hard? Migrant mother in USA depression 1936
  • 35. Nazi occupation of Paris
  • 36. Buchenwald
  • 37. Auschwitz
  • 38. Biafra1967
  • 39. Survival is an issue
  • 40. Resilience  How do we overcome obstacles?  How do we survive difficulties, crises, trauma?  How do we rise above adversity?  Are there personal qualities that enable a person to be resilient?
  • 41.  Man’s task is simple: he should cease letting his existence be a thoughtless accident Friedrich Nietzsche: The Gay Science
  • 42. Reality is: we all despair!  All of us are disappointed, dissatisfied, disenchanted at times.  We get sad and depressed.  Seligman (1973) has described depression as, `The common cold of psychopathology, at once familiar and mysterious’
  • 43. Holmes and Rahe scale of stressful events Death of spouse 100 Divorce 73 Marital separation 65 Jail term 63 Death of close family member 63 Personal injury or illness 53 Marriage 50 Fired at work 47 Marital reconciliation 45
  • 44. Holmes and Rahe Retirement 45 Change in health of a family member 44 Pregnancy 40 Sex Difficulties 39 Gain of new family member 39 Business readjustment 39 Change in financial state 38 Death of close friend 37 Change to different line of work 36 Change in number of arguments with spouse 35 Mortgage over $100,000 31 Foreclosure of mortgage or loan 30 Change in responsibilities at work 29
  • 45. Holmes and Rahe Other Life Events Son or daughter leaving home Trouble with in-laws Outstanding personal achievement Wife begins or stops work Begin or end school Change in living conditions Revision in personal habits Trouble with boss Change in work hours or conditions Change in residence Change in schools Change in recreation
  • 46. Holmes and Rahe Change in church activities Change in social activities Mortgage or loan less than $30,000 Change in sleeping habits Change in number of family get-togethers Change in eating habits Vacation Christmas alone Minor violations of the law
  • 47. Things can be a lot worse Iraqi refugees who dare not go back home
  • 48. Syrian refugees in Turkey
  • 49. Reduced to standing in line
  • 50. Life reduced to rubble No safety
  • 51. Sudanese refugees no more land, water or hope
  • 52. Sami people in Lapland losing land to mining
  • 53. Greece economic crisis 2012
  • 54. Suffering and learning and the learning is always personal
  • 55. 9/11/01 NYC
  • 56. Japanese girl in Quarantine after nuclear disaster 2011
  • 57. Coffins arriving from Afghanistan at Wootton Bassett, UK, 2011
  • 58. Homes devastated in Alabama tornado 2011
  • 59. We cannot avoid all danger and all problems and need to learn to cope  It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life.  Where you stumble lies your
  • 60. Being lost and finding something new  Heidegger’s aletheia (ἀλήθεια): truth means: unveiling the hidden  In loss we become homeless, Unheimlich and are forced to find ourselves for the first time.
  • 61. Shock to one’s system of meaning.  In crisis the connections we rely on to find security and our identity are shaken up at the roots  Everything is in question and we can no longer trust in life, other people, ourselves, fate or gods  We can no longer take things for granted
  • 62. On Dying: Elizabeth Kubler- Ross  denial  anger  bargaining  depression : reactive or preparatory  acceptance  hope
  • 63. Laing: Breakthrough in stead of breakdown.  Loss and transition are about breakdown of the old.  Instead of breaking down and becoming depressed it can mean we break through some block and move on to a next level.  In the process we become stronger.  We establish values that are more deeply rooted.
  • 64. What meaning after crisis?  Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked.  In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, p.172
  • 65. Frankl’s way to meaning •Experiential values: what we take from the world. •Creative values: what we give to the world. •Attitudinal values : the way we deal with suffering.
  • 66. We need problems and challenges: to learn and evolve  Camus:  In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer  Happiness is nothing except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads
  • 67. In darkness we learn about the depth of life The discipline of suffering, of great suffering — do you not know that only this discipline has created all enhancements of man so far? (Nietzsche, 1886/1990: 225)
  • 68. Dialectics  Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.  Human evolution proceeds with constant conflict and forward movement in overcoming a previous state.  Paradoxes, conflicts and dilemmas are integrated and gone beyond.  Perhaps this is the true purpose of life and suffering: to learn, surpass and evolve.
  • 69. We need COURAGE Tillich’s Courage to Be:  Courage is the universal self-affirmation of one’s Being in the presence of the threat of non-Being(Tillich 1952:163).
  • 70. Integrating non being: Paul Tillich: 1886-1965  A neurotic person can take on board only a little bit of non-being  The average person can take on a limited amount of non-being  The creative person can accommodate a large amount of non-being  God can tolerate an infinite amount of non- being.
  • 71. What stops us? The fear of truth which is the fear of freedom Sartre’s Truth and Existence, 1989:34.  ‘  Facing truth is the first step to freedom  We need to find a new path and new direction  We have to carry on and find a new way
  • 72. Hold strong, even though we are afraidSouth Sudan soldier before liberation
  • 73. Prisoner defying Himmler
  • 74. Show courage and defiance Tank man in Tiananman Square 1989
  • 75. Onto-dynamics  Learning to live in line with the laws of life  Paradox, conflict, difficulty and dilemmas are our daily companions  When crisis comes we need to have the courage to descend to rock bottom  From there we can build something better  Important to take context, political, cultural and social into account
  • 76. Images of happiness  Walhalla, Utopia, el Dorado, Garden of Eden, Nirvana, Land of the Lotus eaters
  • 77. What is happiness anyway? Classic distinction hedonism/eudaimonia  Positive emotion: feeling good  Life satisfaction (Diener): an evaluation of overall picture of one’s life  Absence of problems: having a good time  Contentment or state of harmony  Elation or bliss and ecstasy  An aim which is always elusive
  • 78. Problems with happiness  Nagel’s post accident situation of not having a care in the world, yet being pitied: happy fool (View from Nowhere, 1986).  If pleasure or feeling good is the goal, then what of Nozick’s ‘experience machine’ (1974)?  Need for pleasure is addictive and undermines happiness  Pure happiness is unrealistic: not true to life.
  • 79. Tree of Knowledge and Exile from Paradise: human evolution.  Kierkegaard: the Fall : tragedy or necessary and beneficial?  After Eden: knowledge of good and evil  Return to Eden is not the objective  Rather to live with consciousness and learn
  • 80.  Greater values than happiness:  love, truth, beauty, loyalty, honour, courage, freedom.
  • 81. Hedonism or Eudaimonia: are we after ease or do we seek to live well? www.existentialacademy.com 81  Aristotle’s Eudaimonia: value based  Or a banker’ version of value: how big was your bonus?
  • 82. Global map of Well Being 2006 (or affluence/prosperity)
  • 83. What is the Happy Planet Index?  Global measure of sustainable well-being: the extent to which countries deliver long, happy, sustainable lives for the people that live in them.  The 2012 HPI report ranks 151 countries based on their efficiency – the extent to which each nation produces long and happy lives per unit of environmental input.
  • 84. How is the Happy Planet Index calculated?  Experienced well-being x Life expectancy  Divided by Ecological Footprint  The website www.happyplanetindex.org  Well Being measured by Gallup World Poll Ladder of Life: 0-10 rating  Life expectancy: average age people can expect to reach  Ecological Footprint: WWF measure of per capita hectares of land required to sustain consumption pattern
  • 85. Happy Planet Index
  • 86. Sheffield geography research group: Benjamin Hennig
  • 87. Can we have enduring happiness ?  Happiness and unhappiness are twins that grow up together. (Nietzsche, 1882: 270)
  • 88. Dangers of complacency  1994 study Galen Bodenhausen: students in happy mood more keen to condemn their less privileged peers  Diener’s follow up study: happy kids drop out of college more, earn less later on  June Gruber: happiness good but you can have too much of it  Iris Mauss: happiness leads to lack of training for crisis
  • 89. Paradoxes of human existence challenge gain loss Physical Death and pain Life to the full Unlived life or constant fear Social Loneliness and rejection Understand and be understood Bullying or being bullied Personal Weakness and failure Strength and stamina Narcissism or self destruction Spiritual Meaning- Lessness and futility Finding an ethics to live by Fanaticism or apathy
  • 90. Don’t lose yourself when life is tough  The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. Harry Golden
  • 91. The art of living is to be equal to all our emotions rather than to select and cultivate only the pleasant ones
  • 92. Tuning into our feelings in order to move towards understanding  A pathway towards the light of understanding
  • 93. We have learnt to deal in emoticons
  • 94. Your own little sphere of existence matters
  • 95. Imagine a person like a sphere
  • 96. That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, moons and spheres
  • 97. Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level.
  • 98. If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution are paramount
  • 99. If planet: orbit and position matter
  • 100. Merleau Ponty: Visible and Invisible  Things are structures – frameworks – the stars of our life: they gravitate around us. Yet there is a secret bond between us and them – through perception we enter into the essence of the flesh (Visible and Invisible: 220)
  • 101. A fractal universe: patterns of leaf veins repeat
  • 102. Going into the molecules at the quantum level: we discover whole worlds of atoms and anti-matter
  • 103. Other end of spectrum: into infinity: galaxies and black holes
  • 104. Feeling our own feelings The universe is our location We are part of it We are also an entire universe of our own: the human universe Each of us is a universe to ourselves.
  • 105. You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soul
  • 106. Solar anatomy
  • 107. Layers of the sun  Corona, chromosphere, photosphere, convection zone, and core.
  • 108. Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and light
  • 109. Merleau Ponty: soul  The soul is the hollow of the body, the body is the distension of the soul. The soul adheres to the body as their signification adheres to the cultural things, whose reverse or other side it is. (233)
  • 110. Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
  • 111. Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World. Dimensions of existence
  • 112. Different quality of experience at each dimension
  • 113. Befindlichkeit  Befindlichkeit, attunement, disposition or state of mind: the way I find myself. The way I am situated in the world, disposed towards it. Affectedness: an implicit understanding of the world, not yet articulated. (later: understanding and language)  In an ontic fashion every moment of our experience will be coloured by a particular tonality, or mood (Stimmung).
  • 114. Emotions are our orientation.  Emotions are like the weather: never none.  They are the way we relate to the world.  They define the mood of the moment.  They are our atmosphere and modality.  They tell us how and where we are.  They show us what we want and don’t want  Learn to tune in rather than tune out.
  • 115. Freedom and the brain: connectivity is everything The more explicit we can make our experience the more connected we become. Each feeling left goes into implicit rather than explicit memory. The more organized our connections, the greater the freedom. Pre-frontal lobes, rather than just limbic system.
  • 116. Emotions and values Emotions are always experienced in relation to values and beliefs and principles. They are our response to and message about our ideologies
  • 117. Ideologies Polytheism: Many Gods Monotheism: One God Marxism: Society as God Psychology: Individual as God Atheism: No God Science: Fact are God Humanism: Mankind as God Agnosticism: Don’t know God Pantheism: All is God
  • 118. Classic solutions dealing with emotions by changing your values/beliefs  It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live (Marcus Aurelius).  The un-reflected life is not worth living (Socrates)
  • 119. Early therapists  Gilgamesh (Noah) 2750 BC  Dwaipayana (Krishna) 1500 BC  Moses 1400-1280 BC  Zoroaster 630 -553 BC  Lao-Tze 604- 531 BC  Gautama Buddha 563 –510 BC  Confucius 557- 479 BC
  • 120. Wide range of Athenian and Roman philosophies  Plato 427 – 347 BC  Diogenes 413 - 323 BC  Aristotle 384 – 322 BC  Epicurus 341 – 270 BC  Zeno 335 – 263 BC  Cicero 106 – 43 BC  Lucretius 98 – 51 BC  Jesus Christ 4 BC – 29 AD  Seneca 1 AD - 65 AD  Epictetus 55 - 135  Marcus Aurelius 21 - 180
  • 121. Socrates: 469 –399 BC  Preceded by Heraclitus 540 –480 BC and Parmenides 515- 450 BC  Taught his students how to examine life: cultivating the love of wisdom.  Get out of the cave, in which we are chained in ignorance living amongst shadows.  Rediscover the light of truth about life.
  • 122. Socrates The unreflective life is not worth living
  • 123. Aristotle  Eudaimonia: the good life : virtue ethics  Should benefit the community at large rather than only the individual  Philosophy teacher's discourse with the pupil (client) should be a co-operative, critical one that insists on the virtues of orderliness, deliberateness and clarity
  • 124. Aristotelian practice  Pupils are taught to separate true beliefs from false beliefs and to modify and transform their passions accordingly  Winnowing and sifting opinions  Virtue ethics: live in line with the demon: force, power, spirit.
  • 125. Epicureans  The Epicureans seek to treat human suffering by removing corrupting desires and by eliminating pain and disturbance (ataraxia).  Adjust values retaining only those that are attainable and may bring pleasure.  Relinquish the unobtainable and adjust expectations to what is realistic, so that with a slight of hand we can obtain what we think we want.
  • 126. From Socrates to Epicures  Dialectical investigation and critical thinking are replaced with formulae and communal living enforces the creed.  Epicures understood something that neither Plato nor Aristotle had fully grasped, i.e., that false beliefs are often settled deep in the soul and that they may not be available for argument.
  • 127. Skeptics Pyrrho of Elis (c. 360-275 B.C.)  The Epicurean view is that pleasure is the only good and we are taught to adjust our needs so as to guarantee the procurement of pleasure from small natural resources.  Skeptics: the only way to stop pain and suffering is to simply not believe in or desire anything.  So whilst Epicureans try to get rid of false beliefs, the Skeptics want to get rid of all beliefs.
  • 128. Stoics: overcoming weakness  Ordering of the self and soul  Exercise of the mind  Lack of moral fibre and emotional weakness  Everything is connected, but Stoics consider that different temperaments need different approaches and that there is a critical moment (kairos) for change :  Zeno: virtue is its own reward
  • 129. Stoic goal  For the Stoics the pupil's goal is to become his own teacher and pupil  In order to improve a person's life the soul must be exercised everyday, for instance by the use of logic and poetry  The objective is wisdom, the only ultimate value and virtue and leads to eudaimonia, the flourishing life: wisdom, courage, justice, temperance  The means: detachment and self-control : apathy
  • 130. Spinoza-ethics  Prop.VI. The mind has greater power over the emotions and is less subject thereto, in so far as it understands all things as necessary. (under a species of eternity)
  • 131. Sartre Theory of Emotions  The existence of desire as a human fact is sufficient to prove that human reality is a lack. (87)  Human reality is its own surpassing towards what it lacks; it surpasses itself toward the particular being which it would be if it were what it is. (89)
  • 132. Sartre’s emotional theory  Embodied human existence mobilizes itself towards or away from that which it desires or dreads.  We can do magic in letting ourselves fall into emotion, thus transforming the world in bad faith.  Difference between reflective and non reflective emotions.
  • 133. Project  Man is characterized above all by his going beyond a situation and by what he succeeds in making of what he has been made.  This going beyond we find at the very root of the human- in need. (scarcity)  This is what we call the project. (elementary objective, original intention) (Sartre, Search for a Method:91)
  • 134. Emotion classification tree Virginia Teller.
  • 135. Lövheim cube of emotion
  • 136. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrowshame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement Compass of emotions evd 10
  • 137. Four kinds of emotions • Loss of value • Aspire to value • Threat to value • Gain value approach fight flightfreeze
  • 138. Threat to value: pride, jealousy, anger Pride Jealousy Anger
  • 139. Loss of value (despair, fear, sorrow): Despair, fear, sorrow
  • 140. Aspire to value: desire, envy, shame Desire Envy Shame
  • 141. Gain value: hope, love, joy Hope, love, joy
  • 142. Physical: things Social: others Personal: self Spiritual: ideas Four relational layers
  • 143. World: Dimension  Umwelt: Where and how? Mitwelt: With what? Eigenwelt: Who? Uberwelt: For what? Physical: survival Nature: senses Things Body Cosmos Social: affiliation Society: emotions Others Ego Culture Personal: identity Person: thought Me Self Consciousness Spiritual: meaning Infinite: intuition Ideas Spirit Conscience Different dimensions of human relationships at different levels of existence
  • 144. Overview of conflicts, challenges and paradoxes on four dimensions World Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical Nature: Life/ Death Things: Pleasure/ Pain Body: Health/ Illness Cosmos: Harmony/ Chaos Social Society: Love/ Hate Others: Dominance/Sub mission Ego: Acceptance/ Rejection Culture: Belonging/ Isolation Personal Person: Identity/Freedom Me: Perfection/ Imperfection Self: Integrity/ Disintegration Consciousness: Confidence/ Confusion Spiritual: Infinite: Good/ Evil Ideas: Truth/ Untruth Spirit: Meaning/ Futility Conscience: Right/ Wrong
  • 145. 1:Pride-confidence-arrogance-conceit 2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance-caution 3:Anger-hate-rage-despair 4:Fear-confusion-cowardice-alarm 5:Sorrow-misery-resignation-regretShame-emptiness-guilt-humilation:7 Envy-curiosity-aspiration-interest:8 Hope-desire-resolve-trust:9 Love-courage-commitment-vow:10 Joy-thrill-excitement-bliss:11 6. Low Despondency Depression Sadness Exhilaration Happiness Gladness 12:High Up gain Down loss Emotional Compass
  • 146. How do we experience our world?  We are lenses, prisms for light to refract. We allow light through, reflect it, magnify it, block it, divert it. We change the tone and mood and affect the world in turn.
  • 147. Tune into the feelings and moods that colour our worldview  They create different atmospheres at different times.
  • 148. The colour of emotion
  • 149. Depressed worldview
  • 150. THE ART OF LIVING: HOW TO BE ON THE PATH OF LIFE? Understanding our emotions is the best way towards understanding our mode of being and our values. Living with our emotions is the path to our elemental objectives
  • 151. The art of living is to be equal to all emotions rather than to select only the pleasant ones
  • 152. When the storm hits at sea we need to be prepared
  • 153. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrowshame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement
  • 154. Greed Stinginess Frustration Disgust PainNeed Craving Excitement Lust Pleasure Deprivation Emptiness Satisfaction Fullness Gain Survival surprise Loss Threat shock Sensory Compass
  • 155. Care Jealousy Anger Fear RejectionShame Envy Approval Love Acceptance Isolation Separateness Belonging Oneness Engagement Disengagement Emotional Compass
  • 156. Superiority Stubbornness Defiance Deflation HumiliationInferiority Anxiety Courage Commitment Confidence Imperfection Weakness Perfection Strength Success Failure Mental Compass
  • 157. Pride Prudence Wrath Resignation DisillusionmentGuilt Aspiration Hope Resoluteness Bliss Futility Absurdity Meaning Purpose Good Evil Moral Compass
  • 158. Rising above your emotions  Above the clouds the weather is steady even when it rains below.  Transcending our own situation and emotions allows us to understand our own response.
  • 159. Bringing down emotional intensity: painting the world pale or in pastel shades
  • 160. Taoism: Yin (moon/dark/ female) and Yang (light/sun/male)
  • 161. Chiaroscuro, claire-obscure, the light and shade of life
  • 162. Making sense of life High Big Far Good Low Small Near Bad
  • 163. Energy is the flow between two poles Source: kidzoneweather.com
  • 164. Dialectics: working with tension, dilemma, conflict, opposition, polarities, paradox  Thesis, antithesis, synthesis.  Human evolution proceeds with constant conflict and forward movement in overcoming a previous states.  Paradoxes and dilemmas are integrated and gone beyond.
  • 165. Transcendence Thesis Antithesis Synthesis Dialectics
  • 166. future Thesis: my view (past ) Antithesis: your view (present) Dialectics: transcendence in space and time Synthesis: a wider view
  • 167. Anxiety as source of energy Anxiety is life energy rather than a symptom of illness When we face the responsibility of making something out of nothing we become anxious
  • 168. Heidegger and anxiety  Anxiety individualizes. This individualization brings Dasein back from its falling, and makes manifest to it that authenticity and inauthenticity are possibilities of its Being. (Heidegger 1927:191)
  • 169. Going beyond happiness  Happiness as a high is doomed: every high is followed by a low.  Constant pleasure leads to addiction and misery.  Happiness as contentment may be more feasible, but could easily lead to mediocrity and lack of awareness.  Beyond the quest for happiness is the quest for right living.  This is not just about meaning and purpose but about truth, being, nothingness, learning and evolution, dialectically integrating paradox.
  • 170. Existential intelligence  Embracing existence in its contradictions and rising to its challenges.  Realizing that there is no such thing as a perfect human being.  Learning to be resilient and flexible enough to negotiate on-going paradoxes  Facing existential challenges in a personal and creative manner that allows for dialectic.
  • 171. Emotional well being  An ability to creatively encounter challenges and crises.  Capacity for re-establishing equilibrium through strong, dynamic centre of narrative gravity.  Enhanced enjoyment of life, appreciation of physical world, others, self-worth and meaning.  True freedom is always spiritual. It has something to do with your innermost being, which cannot be chained, handcuffed, or put into a jail.  The Courage to Be Yourself
  • 172. Making suffering meaningful  Processing is of prime importance.  Assimilate crisis and make it meaningful.  Process emotions, values, beliefs  Transcend and overcome.  Rise to the challenge  Find the purpose and meaning in the suffering
  • 173. What helps?  Those who have experienced trauma do better if they have good social support.  They do significantly better if they have integrity and a sense of wholeness. (to survive trauma you either need good conscience or no conscience at all…)  The conflict or trauma has to be put to good use.  There has to be a safe place one can retreat to.  It makes a big difference whether you can take some responsibility for your fate.  It helps if you feel your trauma is in some ways a proof of your character or a building block of it.  If you can claim the crisis as part of your success rather than evidence of failure and bad character: making it count!
  • 174. Resilience Physical: safety, sleep, food, comfort, survival, healing, repair, recovery Social: strong relationships, allow and understand emotions, belonging, caring, sharing, support Psychological: clear thinking, making sense, analysis, understanding, new perspective, taking charge, responsibility, character building Spiritual: review values, new vision, trust, transcendence, dialectic, stronger beliefs, meaning, purpose
  • 175. Our luck will change
  • 176. We are united with what we love
  • 177. Help others when possible bushfires in Victoria 2009
  • 178. ake gestures of good will when possible Pentagon Vietnam protests: flower power
  • 179. Loving your Life  Loving your fate and destiny in all its manifestations (Nietzsche’s Amor Fati)  Challenges and difficulties are not the enemy, nor to be avoided but rather to be welcomed as grist for the mill and par for the course: life as an adventure.
  • 180. Chiaroscuro, claire- obscure, the light and shade of life
  • 181. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • 182. Eventually: Earth Rises again 1968 picture from Apollo mission
  • 183. www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.icecap.org.uk www.dilemmas.org www.nspc.org.uk www.existentialacademy.com www.emmyvandeurzen.com Facebook and LinkedIn: Existential Therapy Podcast of Living with your Emotions on www.societyofpsychotherapy.org.uk
  • 184. What is the ultimate value or meaning of my life?
  • 185. Living matters. Life is short.  We don’t know how to live well or right  Living is not easy  Much of psychopathology is rooted in a lack of understanding of human existence
  • 186. Existential Approach  A philosophical method for understanding a person’s difficulties in living  Enabling people to be more aware of their own existence  Through dialogue it shows the limits, paradoxes, conflicts and contradictions of life.
  • 187. Asking Questions and Reflect: a search for truth
  • 188. Existential Authors Philosophers of Freedom Phenomeno- logists Existentialists Post- Structuralists Existential- Humanists Sðren Kierkegaard 1813-1855 Franz Brentano 1838-1917 Jean Paul Sartre 1905-1980 Michel Foucault 1926-1984 Martin Buber 1878-1965 Friedrich Nietzsche 1844-1900 Edmund Husserl 1859-1938 Maurice Merleau Ponty 1908-1961 Emmanuel Levinas 1905-1995 Paul Tillich 1886-1965 Arthur Schopenhauer 1788-1860 Karl Jaspers 1883-1969 Simone de Beauvoir 1908-1986 Paul Ricoeur 1913-2005 Rollo May 1909-1994 Fyodor Dostoyevski 1821-1881 Martin Heidegger 1889-1976 Gabriel Marcel 1889-1973 Jacques Lacan 1901-1981 Hannah Arendt 1906-1975 Karl Marx 1818-1883 Max Scheler 1874-1928 Albert Camus 1913-1960 Jacques Derrida 1930-2004 Abraham Maslow 1908-1970
  • 189. Existential Philosophers  Kierkegaard Nietzsche Husserl Jaspers Heidegger Sartre de Beauvoir Buber Camus Merleau Ponty Foucault
  • 190. Existential Therapy  Understanding human difficulties, conflicts, paradoxes, dilemmas, contradictions,  Works with philosophical methods, amongst which phenomenology, dialectics, maieutics, hermeneutics and heuristic methods.
  • 191. No prescription  Existential therapy does not have to impose rules for living.  Uncover the laws of life  Recover our capacity to trust in life  Be inspired once again when we were despondent, forlorn, forsaken, desperate or confused.
  • 192. Meaning and Purpose  Find out what is meaningful  Find out what your purpose in life is and take it seriously.  Engage with it and work for it in truth and with dedication.  Come what may, follow your dreams and make sure your actions match your dreams. 
  • 193. Landscapes of our life • Understand the Lebenswelt: the world in which we live. How do we co-constitute the world?
  • 194. Aim of existential therapy.  Enable people to tell the truth about their lives and themselves  Help them live passionately and to the full taking authority over their destiny  Facilitate greater understanding of the human condition and its purpose  To think for themselves and live more freely, responsibly, passionately and compassionately  Recognize strengths and weaknesses and make the most of both
  • 195. Understanding connections.  Helping persons to understand their difficulties aims at exploring as much of the web of their lives as is possible, focussing not on one particular line but on the connections between as many lines as show themselves.  (Cohn, in Existential Perspectives, 2005:226)
  • 196. Leave behind the dark ages of therapy : an open, collaborative quest for truth rather than a dogmatic one
  • 197. Existential Practitioners  Ludwig Binswanger: 1881-1966.  Karl Jaspers: 1883-1969.  Paul Tillich: 1886-1965.  Medard Boss: 1904-1990.  Viktor Frankl: 1905-1997.  Rollo May: 1909-1994.  Ronald Laing: 1927-1989.
  • 198. Existential Practitioners  Binswanger Boss Frankl  Tillich May Laing
  • 199. Existential Practitioners Early psychiatrists Humanistic psychologists British alternative Recent Americans Recent British Ludwig Binswanger 1881-1966 Paul Tillich 1886-1965 George Kelly 1905-1967 James Bugental 1915-2008 Hans Cohn 1916-2004 Karl Jaspers 1883-1969 Carl Rogers 1902-1987 Aaron Esterson 1923-1999 Thomas Szasz 1920-2012 Freddie Strasser 1924-2008 Eugene Minkowski 1885-1972 Rollo May 1909-1994 Ronald Laing 1927-1989 Irvin Yalom 1931- Ernesto Spinelli 1949- Medard Boss 1904-1990 Viktor Frankl 1905-1997 David Cooper 1931-1986 Kirk Schneider 1956- Emmy van Deurzen 1951-
  • 200. Recent rapid growth of Existential therapy internationally  North America  Central and Latin America  UK, Ireland, Portugal, Greece, France, Belgium, Netherlands  Scandinavia  Eastern Europe  Russia  China  Japan  South Korea  India, Pakistan, Iran  Australia, Singapore
  • 201. Existential therapy: reflecting on life and what is implicit rather than explicit: asking rather than answering questions  What is the person’s worldview?  What is their situation?  What are their values and beliefs?  What is their purpose in life?  What has been their fate?  What is their purpose?  What are their talents?  What are their yearnings?  What are their connections to the world and others?  What is their attitude?  What are their actions?  How do they create meaning?
  • 202. Method: Edmund Husserl’s Phenomenology 1859-1938  Phenomenology: appearance<>essence  Wesenschau: to things themselves.  Intentionality (Franz Brentano)  Intuition: question natural attitude.  Knowledge begins with experience  Bracketing assumptions, epoche
  • 203. Phenomenology  Key points  We are always making sense of the world, we can never be free of our assumptions.  Existential philosophy is an application of the phenomenological research method to the study of existence.  Existential therapy is a phenomenological research project for both therapist and client.  It needs to comply with rigorous standards of philosophical research and verification as well as with the requirements of human interaction and encounter.  In order to get a more accurate picture of the world we need to understand how we make sense of it.  By attending – just noticing, describing – not explaining, and not pre- judging, we can get a better idea of our assumptions
  • 204. Phenomenological openness  By being phenomenological we can become more aware of the way we interpret the world in narrow and often unrealistic ways.  Listening with the right sort of openness and attentiveness is the foundation of all good practice.  The task of existential therapy is one of facilitating the client to be come freer to choose when to be open and when not to be open.  Openness to experience means to able to embrace autonomy and this is as true for the therapist as for the client.
  • 205. Intentionality  Ego cogito (subject): transcendental reduction  Noesis or cogitatio (process or predicate): phenomenological reduction  Noema or cogitata (object): eidetic reduction
  • 206. .
  • 207. Assumptions  Existentially, all assumptions relate to the givens of existence - there are:  Physical assumptions like, ‘my children will not die before me’,  Social assumptions like, ‘my intimate relationships are always of a particular quality’,  Psychological assumptions like, ‘I never get to do things the way I want’, and  Spiritual/ethical assumptions like, ‘People will be punished if they do bad things’. 
  • 208. Phenomenological Method I. Phenomenological reduction  Noesis II. Eidetic reduction  Noema III. Transcendental reduction  Cogito
  • 209. Find a new perspective
  • 210. I.Phenomenological reduction cogitatio: process of thought 1. Noesis. 2. Epoche: suspend assumptions. 3. Description. 4. Horizontalization. 5. Equalization. 6. Verification.
  • 211. Description  Phenomenology is about description not explanation.  The intention is to open out possibility, not to close it down.  The client’s autonomy is respected at all times  The person is enabled to combine a subjective and an objective view on their own life
  • 212. Take an everyday object, like a paper clip, a milk carton, a newspaper or a flower. Without assessing effectiveness or value, think of 20 other uses for the object. What did you have to do in order to stop thinking of the object in terms of its original use?
  • 213. Verification: check that what you think makes sense to the person Characteristic statements or intentions of verification are:  ‘What is your part in what you are describing?’ This brings present responsibility into the dialogue and questions the client’s denial of responsibility and their sense of separation from both their own life and the lives of others.  ‘Has this ever happened before in your life? Is this feeling familiar?’ This introduces the past, previous experience, into the dialogue and looks to finding the universals behind the individual properties.  ‘How is this leading you to what you say you want?’ This introduces the future, hope, expectation and change, into the dialogue.  ‘On the one hand you feel [...] but on the other hand you feel [...].’ This draws the client’s attention to the dilemmas, contradictions and the tension between opposites that they usually try to avoid. It highlights the dynamic nature of emotional life and helps them to face up to their inner and outer reality, gaining strength from their ability to do so.
  • 214. II. Eidetic Reduction cogitatum: object of thought 1. Noema. 2. Abschattungen: profiles, adumbrations. 3. Wesenschau: intuiting essences. 4. Genetic constitution (vs. static). 5. Universals beyond the properties.
  • 215. Adumbrations  Different facets of experience
  • 216. Genetic constitution  Things change over time
  • 217. III. Transcendental reduction cogito: ego, thinking mind  1. Cogito.  2. Transcendental ego.  3. Solipsism overcome.  4. Horizon of intentionality.  5. Self as point zero.  4. Transcendental inter-subjectivity.
  • 218. We are connected to all there is  We are part of and generate electromagnetic fields  Resonance  Presence/energy  Transcendence
  • 219. Existential approach not a technique  It is a worldview which allows to integrate a variety of methods  Addresses universal problems  Provides a method for rigorous philosophical questioning and logical tools  Non prescriptive
  • 220. Assumptions and prejudice  We are always making sense of the world, we can never be free of our assumptions.  In order to get a more accurate picture of the world, we need to understand how we make sense of it.  By attending – just noticing, describing – not explaining, and not pre-judging, we can get a better idea of our assumptions.  Existential therapy is a phenomenological research project for both therapist and client.
  • 221. Hermeneutic interpreting 1. It must be tentative, for the client must be able to dispute it and consider it, rather than to feel obligated to swallow it whole and agree with it: they are interpreting, not you. 2. Any interpretations we may must make a direct connection between a trigger event that the client is currently preoccupied with and its internal and external consequences it has in the client’s life. 3. Therefore the emphasis is ultimately always on the authority of the client. We model a modest though clear speaking clarity so that the client can learn to articulate their own living experience for themselves with increasing authority.
  • 222. Quest for Truth  Truth is paradoxical: coming to term with the dark and light sides of life equally.  Not just well being, but also tackling negativity and difficulties with courage.  Gestalt therapy (polarities). Jungian therapy (shadow). Later Freud: death instinct (destrudo) alongside libido, the life instinct.
  • 223. Assumptions and prejudice  We are always making sense of the world, we are never free of assumptions  Understand how we make sense of it  Attend, notice, describe  Don’t explain, pre-judge, condemn  Existential therapy is a phenomenological research project for both therapist and client.  Bracketing
  • 224. Work with bias.  Become aware of your own and your client’s bias: outlook, assumptions, beliefs, prejudice, blind spots.
  • 225. Big Questions  What does it mean to be alive? Who am I? What is the purpose of my existence? How should we live? What can I hope to achieve? Is happiness possible? What is expected of me? How should I act and be in relation to other people? Is there fairness in the world? Can I make a change for the better? Is it possible to understand life and get a grip on it? Can I find ways of overcoming my troubles? Is it necessary to suffer this much? How can I be a better person and live a worthwhile life?
  • 226. Quest for Truth  Truth is paradoxical: coming to term with the dark and light sides of life equally.  Not just well being, but also tackling negativity and difficulties with courage.  Gestalt therapy (polarities). Jungian therapy (shadow). Later Freud: death instinct (destrudo) alongside libido, the life instinct.
  • 227. Buber’s encounter  The interhuman: das Zwischenmenschlichen; the in-between is where real communication takes place (Buber, Between Man and Man, 1929).  All actual life is encounter (ibid: 62)  This is where truth is found.
  • 228. How to find our way in our Existential Space Physical, natural space Social interpersonal space Personal, psychological space Spiritual, ideological space
  • 229. Dialogue of the therapeutic relationship Being therapist Client’s life client
  • 230. Directive or non directive?  Purposeful and directional rather than directive or non-directive  Directness: speaks plainly  Equal challenge and support  Collaboration and mutual respect  Joint search for truth
  • 231. Like Sisyphus Always onwards And upwards Enough To fill A Human Heart.
  • 232. Objective of therapy.  Rediscover vision  Seeing and overseeing their situation  Widening the horizon  Helicopter view of life  Broader perspective  New connections  Understand human existence  Encouragement  Liberation  Purpose, direction  Engagement
  • 233. Four dimensions of life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
  • 234. Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World. Dimensions of existence
  • 235. Different layers and levels of intervention  Umwelt: understand physical subtext and embodiment: person’s relation to the world around them. Behavioural/Bioenergy/Biodynamic/Classic Psychoanalysis.  Mitwelt: describe and take into account the social, cultural and political context of the client’s life. Object relations/Systemic/TA/Group/CBT/Adlerian.  Eigenwelt: read and understand the text of the client’s life, find the narrative point of gravity. Who do they think they are? Gestalt/Self Psychology/Ego-Psychology  Uberwelt: recognize worldview and values: what is the purpose of the person’s life? Jungian/Psychosynthesis/Core process/Transpersonal
  • 236. Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Transcendence Ideas Spirit Conscience Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence evd 10
  • 237. Spiritual: Integrate what has happened in world view Improve rather than give up values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Stick with what is true. Personal: Allow the event to strengthen your character Express thoughts and memories. Regain a sense of freedom in relation to adversity. Learn to yield as well as be resolute. Social: Seek to go beyond hateful and destructive relations by isolation and avoidance till Reconciliation is possible. Seek belonging with like minded allies. Communicate your emotions without reproach, resentment, bitterness. Physical: Seek safety when under threat. Trust and heed sensations of stress. Find natural environment that can soothe as well as expand your horizons. OVERCOMING TRAUMA
  • 238. TrustING that we can discover what is true, possible and right. The freedom of our feelings: making room for our life
  • 239. Reflecting on our emotions and actions  Doing magic and transforming the world in a positive and constructive way
  • 240. How to create value in life?  Through committed and engaged action  Step by step  Diligently proceeding no matter what challenges come on your path  Steady progress comes from undaunted focus on your project  Flexibility and finding joy in the process rather than aiming for success or happiness
  • 241. Magritte: Empire of Lights. Learning to live with paradox and the tensions of life
  • 242. Emotional well being  An ability to creatively encounter challenges and crises.  Capacity for re-establishing equilibrium through strong, dynamic centre of narrative gravity.  Enhanced enjoyment of life, appreciation of physical world, others, self-worth and meaning.  True freedom is always spiritual. It has something to do with your innermost being, which cannot be chained, handcuffed, or put into a jail.  OSHO, Freedom: The Courage to Be Yourself
  • 243. Baumeister (1991) Meanings of Life  Baumeister concluded that there are four basic needs for meaning: 1. Need for purpose (spiritual) 2. Need for value (social) 3. Need for efficacy (physical) 4. Need for self-worth (personal)  It is the process of going in the general direction of these four objectives that makes for a good life.
  • 244. Baumeister (1991:214)  Happiness is when ‘reality lives up to your desires’.  Long-term goals offer a sense of direction, but it is necessary to have short-term goals in order to derive daily meaning.  In fact it is having short term achievable goals that allow us to feel efficient and purposeful that gives us most of a sense of self worth and value of life.
  • 245. Meaning and Purpose Find out what your inner landscape currently is: what is meaningful to you and inspires you.  What is your purpose in life ?
  • 246. How do we experience our world?  We are lenses, prisms for light to refract. We allow light through, reflect it, magnify it, block it, divert it. We change the tone and mood and affect the world in turn.
  • 247. Living happily or living well: an existential view  Crystallization of discontent may be the beginning of insight into what is wrong.  Conflict, dilemmas and problems are an intrinsic part of being alive  Being cured of difficulties is the death of possibility and creativity  Perhaps constant problems and troubles are necessary to a well lived life and provide the depth of life
  • 248. Emotions are our orientation.  Emotions are like the weather: never none.  They are the way we relate to the world.  They define the mood of the moment.  They are our atmosphere and modality.  They tell us how and where we are.  Learn to tune in rather than tune out.
  • 249. Kierkegaard’s breathing  Personhood is a synthesis of possibility and necessity.  Its continued existence is like breathing (respiration), which is an inhaling and exhaling.  (Kierkegaard, Sickness unto Death: 40)
  • 250. Inspiration and expiration let go Exhale Depression release pause Inhale Anxiety tension hold
  • 251. Value threat Loss hope
  • 252. Gain and anxiety Gain: Value Depression Desperation decompression Loss: Value less Anxiety Aspiration oppression
  • 253. Four kinds of emotions • Loss of value • Aspire to value • Threat to value • Gain value approach fight flightfreeze
  • 254. Threat to value: pride, jealousy, anger Pride Jealousy Anger
  • 255. Loss of value (despair, fear, sorrow): Despair, fear, sorrow
  • 256. Aspire to value: desire, envy, shame Desire Envy Shame
  • 257. Gain value: hope, love, joy Hope, love, joy
  • 258. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrowshame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement
  • 259. The colour of emotion
  • 260. Rita’s Grief  When I speak to Rita, who is grieving over her husband and small son who have perished in a car accident, the words that I say to her at first hardly reach her.  She is in a place of relative safety deep inside of herself, in a state of suspended animation behind the façade that she turns to the world. She barely engages with people at all.
  • 261. Rita’s grief 2  At first it is not my words that make the link to her world, but the consistency that I can offer in being attentive and careful to not hurt her further or push her too hard.  I spend nearly half an hour in relative silence with Rita, at times formulating her fear on her behalf, gently, tentatively, checking for verification by noting her response.
  • 262. Rita’s grief 3  Mostly the work consists of me letting myself be touched by her suffering and learning to tolerate her pain with her, so that I can offer reactions and words that soothe and move her forward to a place where she can begin to face what has happened to her so shockingly out of the blue. In this process she guides me and exposes more and more of her nightmarish universe to me as she perceives me as capable of venturing further into it with her.
  • 263. Bringing down emotional intensity
  • 264. Rita World Physical Social Personal Spiritual Umwelt Take interest in objects, space Meet others Relate to own body again Recognize value Mitwelt Leave dead behind Love dead still Find self valid Find others valid Eigenwelt Recover sense of self care Rediscover love Love self Find project Uberwelt Make sense of disaster Life with others is worthwhile I am me and this matters There is a purpose to it all
  • 265. Rita World Physical Social Personal Spiritual Umwelt Take interest in objects, space Meet others Relate to own body again Recognize value Mitwelt Leave dead behind Love dead still Find self valid Find others valid Eigenwelt Recover sense of self care Rediscover love Love self Find project Uberwelt Make sense of disaster Life with others is worthwhile I am me and this matters There is a purpose to it all
  • 266. Overview of conflicts, challenges and paradoxes on four dimensions World Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical Nature: Life/ Death Things: Pleasure/ Pain Body: Health/ Illness Cosmos: Harmony/ Chaos Social Society: Love/ Hate Others: Dominance/S ubmission Ego: Acceptanc e/ Rejection Culture: Belonging/ Isolation Personal Person: Identity/Freed om Me: Perfection/ Imperfection Self: Integrity/ Disintegratio n Consciousness: Confidence/ Confusion Spiritual: Infinite: Good/ Evil Ideas: Truth/ Untruth Spirit: Meaning/ Futility Conscience: Right/ Wrong
  • 267. Dimension Positive Purpose Negative Concern Minimal Goal Optimal Value Physical: Health Illness Fitness Vitality Pleasure Pain Safety Well Being Strength Weakness Efficacy Ability Life Death Survival Existence Social Success Failure Skill Contribution Belonging Isolation Kinship Loyalty Acceptance Rejection Recognition Cooperation Love Hate Respect Reciprocity Personal Identity Confusion Individuality Integrity Perfection Imperfection Achievemen t Excellence Independenc e Dependenc y Autonomy Liberty Confidence Doubt Poise Clarity Spiritual Good Evil Responsibility Transparenc y
  • 268. Loving your Life  Loving your fate and destiny in all its manifestations (Nietzsche’s Amor Fati)  Challenges and difficulties are not the enemy, nor to be avoided but rather to be welcomed as grist for the mill and par for the course: life as an adventure.
  • 269. How to create value in life?  Through committed and engaged action  Step by step  Diligently proceeding no matter what challenges come on your path  Steady progress comes from undaunted focus on your project  Flexibility and finding joy in the process rather than aiming for success or happiness
  • 270. VALUES AND BELIEFS  Values and beliefs are the basis of a personal code of ethics which is about:  how I want to live my life  how I want to treat others  how I want to be treated by others  how I aim to evaluate my actions and those of others  how I feel about human existence as a result
  • 271. Checklist of existential therapy  1. Collaboration, liberty and equality  2. Uncovering the implicit  3. Themes and personal predicaments  4. Four worlds and emotional compass  5. Projects, values, fears and tensions  6. Complexity; connectivity  7. Structural analysis: clarity  8. Meanings: hermeneutics, heuristic practice  9. Paradoxes: positives and negatives  10. Dialectics: human evolution and transcendence  11. Liberation and freedom  12. Savouring life: both resolution and letting be.
  • 272. Recapturing radical FREEDOM  ‘Freedom is not a property (Eigenschaft : characteristic) of man; man is the property (Eigentum: possession) of freedom.’  (Heidegger 1971: Schelling’s Treatise on the Essence of Human Freedom, transl. Stambaugh J. (Athens Ohio: ohio University Press 1985: 11/9).
  • 273. Work hard, enduring hardship and forging forwards, to find light at end of the tunnel.
  • 274. When the going gets tough, the tough get going: we get to work..
  • 275. working together to make sure things get better and not worse
  • 276. There are some defeats more triumphant than victories. Michel de Montaigne
  • 277. remember to face up to life:  Time and space to pay attention to our passions and reflect on the things that matter to us and we feel strongly about whether positive or negative.
  • 278. Work hard, enduring hardship and forging forwards, to find light at end of the tunnel.
  • 279. We endure and wait patiently North and South Korean family united briefly in 2010
  • 280. DESIRES FEARS VALUES PHYSICAL life death vitality SOCIAL love hate reciprocity PERSONAL identity freedom integrity SPIRITUAL good evil transparency Human values rediscovered.
  • 281. The art of living is to be equal to all our emotions rather than to select and cultivate only the pleasant ones
  • 282. Values and actions to make you feel good and strong and true instead of happy. 1. Earning your keep with your own labour 2. Understanding others 3. Pondering your own motivations 4. Reflecting on your life 5. Living true to your own values 6. Living in line with the purpose and truth of human existence. 7. Contributing more to the world than you take from it. 8. Respecting nature and the universe 9. Making your life matter 10. Loving as much as you can. 11. Being prepared for change and transformation. 12. Knowing when to be resolute and when to let go. 13. Having rules to live by and change them when necessary.
  • 283. Background action to make life right.  to be healthy and look after your body the best way possible.  to enjoy what is free in the world and be close to nature  to be loving with others and care for someone deeply.  to respect and esteem yourself and make sure others do too.  to find concrete goals worth putting your whole energy into.  to learn to question things and not take anything for granted  to find life interesting and relish every minute  to be prepared to let things go and be ready to die  to strive for wisdom and excellence  to be content and find routines that satisfy you  to achieve something, whatever, and leave the world a better place than you found it.
  • 284. World: Dimension  Umwelt: Where and how? Mitwelt: With what? Eigenwelt: Who? Uberwelt: For what? Physical: survival Nature: senses Things Body Cosmos Social: affiliation Society: emotions Others Ego Culture Personal: identity Person: thought Me Self Consciousness Spiritual: meaning Infinite: intuition Ideas Spirit Conscience Different dimensions of human relationships at different levels of existence
  • 285. Baumeister & Deurzen  Feel effective in our embodied existence in the physical world, in relation to nature and the objects we encounter, whilst feeling part of the cosmos.  Feel of value by having confidence in our personal ego, whilst relating with others in the social world, with a sense of belonging to the culture we live in.  Feel a sense of self worth as the individual we are, at ease in that private sphere where we encounter our personal thoughts and consciousness.  Feel purposeful in relation to what is sacred, meaningfully and soulfully proceeding to transcend the banality of our lives.
  • 286. www.nspc.org.uk www.emmyvandeurzen.com Facebook and LinkedIn: Existential Therapy www.societyofpsychotherapy.org.uk www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.icecap.org.uk www.dilemmas.org www.existentialacademy.com
  • 287. We survive and count our blessings
  • 288. Leading a philosophical life.