What they didn’t
tell you
About teaching
Twas the night before term starts
And all through the house
Not a creature will be stirring
Except you still marking
Whilst your
friends
have a life
You won’t!
You suddenly find yourself saying
“I can’t not on
a school night”
“Friends become distant acquaintances
That you catch up with Christmas and Birthdays
You find yourself telling people the same
thing in three different ways
When it’s the
end of term
When it’s
the
end of term
You won’t be
doing this
You will be
doing this
Or this
Teaching is like being a comedian
Your audience expects to be
entertained
So expect heckling at every opportunity
Punters to
talk over you
Continual trips to the loo
The aroma of
stale B.O.
Rustling of
stashed crisp
packets
And if you are
really nervous
They CAN smell your fear
And will turn into this
You must
always be
positive
Even when
you want to
do this
When you go shopping
Spotting you
will be the
highlight of
their day
Except they
don’t want
your
autograph
They are just amazed you are actually
a real person
If you are really hated or loved it will
like having your own paparazzi
With your shopping trip documented on
You Tube
So drive 40 miles away if you want any
of these
Or these
And you will need to find alternatives to
swear words
Fudge it!
Shoot
Oh Billiards
And learn a whole new version of the
English language
You gypsy
Chav
That’s so
gay
Minger
But there are positives!
You get to watch interesting student
debates
Attend inspiring meetings
Enjoy the thrill of not being listened too
all day
Being spoken to like a piece of …
Endure teenage hormones that even
parents don’t want to put up with
Have your performance constantly measured
But the ultimate in pleasure has to be . .
Just when
you get
teaching
sussed out
You get a
new
Government
initiative
That was ditched 15 years ago for what
reason?
So why teach?
For love?
For respect?
For money?
The excellent pension?
NO ?
Well there is a credit
crunch!
And finally
what do you
call a group of
like minded
teachers?
A whinge!
Jacqueline Hicks
© 2008
www.sheldonict@live.co.uk
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What they-didnt-tell-you-about-teaching-1230652640073685-2

  1. 1. What they didn’t tell you
  2. 2. About teaching
  3. 3. Twas the night before term starts
  4. 4. And all through the house
  5. 5. Not a creature will be stirring
  6. 6. Except you still marking
  7. 7. Whilst your friends have a life
  8. 8. You won’t!
  9. 9. You suddenly find yourself saying
  10. 10. “I can’t not on a school night”
  11. 11. “Friends become distant acquaintances
  12. 12. That you catch up with Christmas and Birthdays
  13. 13. You find yourself telling people the same thing in three different ways
  14. 14. When it’s the end of term When it’s the end of term
  15. 15. You won’t be doing this
  16. 16. You will be doing this
  17. 17. Or this
  18. 18. Teaching is like being a comedian
  19. 19. Your audience expects to be entertained
  20. 20. So expect heckling at every opportunity
  21. 21. Punters to talk over you
  22. 22. Continual trips to the loo
  23. 23. The aroma of stale B.O.
  24. 24. Rustling of stashed crisp packets
  25. 25. And if you are really nervous
  26. 26. They CAN smell your fear
  27. 27. And will turn into this
  28. 28. You must always be positive
  29. 29. Even when you want to do this
  30. 30. When you go shopping
  31. 31. Spotting you will be the highlight of their day
  32. 32. Except they don’t want your autograph
  33. 33. They are just amazed you are actually a real person
  34. 34. If you are really hated or loved it will like having your own paparazzi
  35. 35. With your shopping trip documented on You Tube
  36. 36. So drive 40 miles away if you want any of these
  37. 37. Or these
  38. 38. And you will need to find alternatives to swear words Fudge it! Shoot Oh Billiards
  39. 39. And learn a whole new version of the English language You gypsy Chav That’s so gay Minger
  40. 40. But there are positives!
  41. 41. You get to watch interesting student debates
  42. 42. Attend inspiring meetings
  43. 43. Enjoy the thrill of not being listened too all day
  44. 44. Being spoken to like a piece of …
  45. 45. Endure teenage hormones that even parents don’t want to put up with
  46. 46. Have your performance constantly measured
  47. 47. But the ultimate in pleasure has to be . .
  48. 48. Just when you get teaching sussed out
  49. 49. You get a new Government initiative
  50. 50. That was ditched 15 years ago for what reason?
  51. 51. So why teach?
  52. 52. For love?
  53. 53. For respect?
  54. 54. For money?
  55. 55. The excellent pension?
  56. 56. NO ?
  57. 57. Well there is a credit crunch!
  58. 58. And finally what do you call a group of like minded teachers?
  59. 59. A whinge!
  60. 60. Jacqueline Hicks © 2008 www.sheldonict@live.co.uk

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