This is a mostly non-verbal negotiation, but done in conscious structured and effective way; used six tools Be dispassionate; emotion destroys negotiations; be calm Prepare, even if for seconds; collect your thoughts Find the decision maker; gate agent wouldn’t change policy Focus on goals, not on who is right; proving you were right of little use here Make human contact; people are everything Acknowledge the other party’s position and power, valuing them
Films Wall Street with Michael Douglas (Before I get angry Managing the other personk
Negotiating Team if any Who should be present? What is each person’s role? Key decision-makers
What will we present? Facts Documents Interests Proposal or Demand Who will be our presenters?
Fortune Cookie with Walter Matthau- bargaining aganst themselves; forced other guy to open We tend to focus too much on our own goals or some of us focus too much on the other’s goals and forget about our own
Key is to find out what the problem really is Often different from what you think Get at the individual interest Great negotiators have a note on their pad that says “is this their real interest”
Ransom with Mel Gibson We often underestimate leverage We should sit in their chair and imagine how they would feel if you walked away
Open ended questions Avoid leading questions; avoid blaming; avoid making people feel you are analyzing them Op
Negotiations: Ed Wertheim
“ Every human interaction is a negotiation.”
“ I have one thing that’s not negotiable. I demand that we meet your interests. The reason we need to meet your interests is that if we don’t meet your interests, you won’t meet mine. And I’m a real selfish guy…I want my interests met.”
An attempt to influence or persuade someone to think or act differently:
At least two parties
Making decisions about
Without knowing the outcome in advance
If satisfying your interests involves working through or with another person (who may have different interests), you are in a negotiating situation
from Moshe Cohen
Dispute Resolution Spectrum Party Control Third Party Control Negotiate Mediate Arbitrate Litigate
Negotiating Styles Concern for Other person Concern for self Avoiding Compromising Competing Distributive “ Win-lose” Integrative Collaborating Problem solving ”win-win” Yielding/ Accomodating High Low Low High Assertion
We raced to the gate for our flight to Paris having just arrived on a connecting flight; the plane was there but the gate was shut; the agents were sorting tickets; they had already retracted the hood connecting the jetway to the airplane door.
“ Hi, we’re on this flight,” …..“Sorry,” said the agent. “We’re done boarding”
“ But our connecting flight landed just ten minutes ago. They promised us they would call ahead to the gate.
“ Sorry but we can’t board anyone after they’ve closed the door.”
My sister and I walked to the window in disbelief. Our long weekend was about to fall to pieces. The plane was right before our eyes. The guy with the lighted batons was walking onto the tarmac.
I thought for a few seconds. Then I led my sister to the center of the window right in front of the cockpit; we stood there, in plain sight, my entire being focused on the pilot, hoping to catch his eye.
One of the pilots looked up. He saw us standing forlornly in the window; I looked him in the eye, plaintively, pleadingly. I let my bags slump by my feet. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity; finally the pilot’s lips moved and the other pilot looked up; I caught his eye, as well, and he nodded.
We heard the gate agent’s phone ring; she turned to us…”grab your stuff,” she said, “the pilot said to let you on.” Our vacations restored , we clutched each other joyously, snatched our bags, waved to the pilots, and tumbled down the jetway to the plane.
This is a mostly non-verbal negotiation, but done in consciously structured and effective way
Be dispassionate; emotion destroys negotiations; be calm
Prepare, even if for seconds; collect your thoughts
Find the decision maker; gate agent wouldn’t change policy
Focus on goals, not on who is right; proving you were right of little use here
Make human contact; people are everything
Acknowledge the other party’s position and power, valuing them