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Ellen Grove:
Games for Learning about Conflict
Thank	
  you	
  to	
  our	
  Sponsors
Games
for
Learning
About
Conflict
	
  

Ellen	
  Grove	
  

agilepartnership.com	
  
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  
Where all think
alike, no one
thinks very
much.
Walter Lippman, The Stakes of Democracy 1915
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  
Navigating

Foundering
@eegrove	
  
Relationships
Values

Externals/
Moods
Furlongs’s
Circle of Conflict

Data

Structure
Interests
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes
Competing

Collaborating

Assertiveness

Compromising

Avoiding
Cooperativeness

Accommodati...
Social	
  Virus	
  

@eegrove	
  
 Adkins:	
  	
  h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict	
  

@eegrove	
  
What might
you do?:
Peacekeeping/
Protection
Shuttle
diplomacy to
de-escalate
Accommodate
Negotiate
Get factual
Support an...
"Separate the people from the problem.”
"Focus on interests, not positions.”
"Invent options for mutual gain.”
"Insist on ...
@eegrove	
  
Everyone is
right…but only
partially
Lyssa Adkins and Michael Spayd

@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  
North-Going Zax

Position 1:
I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
@eegrove	
  
South-Going Zax

Position 1:
I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  

http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796
North-Going Zax

Position:
I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest:
I need the rind of the
lemon to make pound-cake
@eegrove	
  
South-Going Zax

Position:
I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest:
I need the pulp of the
lemon to make lemonade
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  

http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796
@eegrove	
  
North-Going Zax

Two heads are
better than one

@eegrove	
  
South-Going Zax

If you want
something done
right, do it
yourself
@eegrove	
  
@eegrove	
  

http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470
Recap
²  Perception: What’s your perception of conflict? What
kind of conflict are you engaged in?
²  Escalation: What e...
Great
relationships rely
on passionate
disagreement
Patrick Lencioni

@eegrove	
  
Thank you!
egrove@agilepartnership.com
@eegrove
Masteringtheobvious.wordpress.com

@eegrove	
  
How do you need to be with
each other?
What can you count on from
each other when the going
gets tough?

@eegrove	
  

htt...
Resources	
  
• 

PublicaAons	
  
– 
– 
– 
– 

• 

Games	
  
– 
– 
– 
– 
– 
– 

• 

Furlong	
  (2005)	
  The	
  Conflict	
 ...
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Games for learning about conflict EGrove SDEC13

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Presented at SDEC13 Winnipeg in Oct 2013

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  • The games played during this session are not described on the slides in the presentation itself where they are used (Introduction, Perception, Escalation, Contagion, Constellation, Position, Contradiction) as my notes weren't ready for primetime) but the sources are listed on the reference slide at the end
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Transcript of "Games for learning about conflict EGrove SDEC13"

  1. 1. Ellen Grove: Games for Learning about Conflict Thank  you  to  our  Sponsors
  2. 2. Games for Learning About Conflict   Ellen  Grove   agilepartnership.com   @eegrove  
  3. 3. @eegrove  
  4. 4. Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippman, The Stakes of Democracy 1915 @eegrove  
  5. 5. @eegrove  
  6. 6. @eegrove  
  7. 7. Navigating Foundering @eegrove  
  8. 8. Relationships Values Externals/ Moods Furlongs’s Circle of Conflict Data Structure Interests @eegrove  
  9. 9. @eegrove  
  10. 10. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes Competing Collaborating Assertiveness Compromising Avoiding Cooperativeness Accommodating @eegrove  
  11. 11. Social  Virus   @eegrove  
  12. 12.  Adkins:    h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict   @eegrove  
  13. 13. What might you do?: Peacekeeping/ Protection Shuttle diplomacy to de-escalate Accommodate Negotiate Get factual Support and safety Consensus  Adkins:    h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict   @eegrove  
  14. 14. "Separate the people from the problem.” "Focus on interests, not positions.” "Invent options for mutual gain.” "Insist on using objective criteria.” "Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)” William Ury, Getting to YES, 1981 @eegrove  
  15. 15. @eegrove  
  16. 16. Everyone is right…but only partially Lyssa Adkins and Michael Spayd @eegrove  
  17. 17. @eegrove  
  18. 18. North-Going Zax Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON! @eegrove  
  19. 19. South-Going Zax Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON! @eegrove  
  20. 20. @eegrove   http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796
  21. 21. North-Going Zax Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON! Interest: I need the rind of the lemon to make pound-cake @eegrove  
  22. 22. South-Going Zax Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON! Interest: I need the pulp of the lemon to make lemonade @eegrove  
  23. 23. @eegrove   http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796
  24. 24. @eegrove  
  25. 25. North-Going Zax Two heads are better than one @eegrove  
  26. 26. South-Going Zax If you want something done right, do it yourself @eegrove  
  27. 27. @eegrove   http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470
  28. 28. Recap ²  Perception: What’s your perception of conflict? What kind of conflict are you engaged in? ²  Escalation: What escalates conflict? What is your reaction to conflict? ²  Contagion: How does your behaviour affect other people? ²  Constellation: Who is affected? Who needs to be involved in the solution? ²  Position: How to differentiate between position and interests? ²  Contradiction: How can we appreciate multiple truths and recognize our biases? @eegrove  
  29. 29. Great relationships rely on passionate disagreement Patrick Lencioni @eegrove  
  30. 30. Thank you! egrove@agilepartnership.com @eegrove Masteringtheobvious.wordpress.com @eegrove  
  31. 31. How do you need to be with each other? What can you count on from each other when the going gets tough? @eegrove   http://www.flickr.com/photos/dearbarbie/255550938
  32. 32. Resources   •  PublicaAons   –  –  –  –  •  Games   –  –  –  –  –  –  •  Furlong  (2005)  The  Conflict  ResoluAon  Handbook   Thomas  &  Kilmann  Conflict  Modes:  h>p://www.kilmanndiagnosAcs.com/overview-­‐thomas-­‐kilmann-­‐conflict-­‐mode-­‐instrument-­‐tki   Adkins,  NavigaAng  the  5  Levels  of  Conflict  the  Agile  Way:  h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-­‐managing-­‐conflict   Fisher  and  Ury  (1981),Geng  to  YES   PercepAon  (What  Color  is  Conflict?):  h>p://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-­‐management/acAvity/2922.html   EscalaAon  (Role  Plays):  h>p://esrnaAonal.org/resources/lessons-­‐from-­‐connected-­‐and-­‐respected/   Contagion  (Social  Virus):  h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/august2011.html#Jolt   ConstellaAon  (Problem  ConstellaAon):h>p://agilemeditaAon.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/problem-­‐constellaAon/   PosiAon  (I  MUST  have  the  lemon!):  h>p://learningstore.uwex.edu/Assets/pdfs/B3870-­‐09.PDF   ContradicAon  (Au  contraire):    h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/february2013.html#Jolt   Photo  credits   –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsjgeology/8512500151 http://www.flickr.com/photos/afireinwinter/9304601336 http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnson7/1460568819 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jkadlec/8650818989 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Rolling-thunder-cloud.jpg http://www.flickr.com/photos/niaid/8411599236 http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenlund http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470 @eegrove  
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