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Startup Communication, Oct 2013
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Startup Communication, Oct 2013

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Condensed slides from a workshop aimed at helping startup co-founders 1) communicate more effectively with each other, 2) establish group norms in the company that support better communication and 3) …

Condensed slides from a workshop aimed at helping startup co-founders 1) communicate more effectively with each other, 2) establish group norms in the company that support better communication and 3) model better communication with employees.

Published in: Technology, Health & Medicine

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  • 1. Startup Photo by Heisenberg Media [link] Communication Ed Batista @ Bloomberg SF October 7, 2013
  • 2. Photo:SethAnderson Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees Who am I?
  • 3. Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Where are we 1:1 communication Group norms You as partners and role models going?
  • 4. Startups as human systems Photo by Heisenberg Media [link] Complex group dynamics Communication = survival Feedback = learning Relationships matter Leaders as levers
  • 5. Founder as avatar
  • 6. Founder as avatar Avatara The ideal made real Company made in your image
  • 7. Concepts #1 The headline Social threat SCARF model Relationships The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 8. The headline Feedback is stressful So criticize with skill & give more (heartfelt) praise Photo by Garry Knight [link]
  • 9. Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
  • 10. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
  • 11. Threat response Photo by William Warby [link]
  • 12. Threat response aka “Fight or flight” Physiological signs? Emotional signs? Photo by William Warby [link]
  • 13. Threat response Cognitive impairment… Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by William Warby [link]
  • 14. Social threat Photo by David Sim [link]
  • 15. Photo by Heisenberg Media [link] Social threat
  • 16. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? Read More
  • 17. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Read More
  • 18. Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] SCARF model & feedbackThreat to… Status? Certainty? Autonomy? Relatedness? Fairness?
  • 19. Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair*
  • 20. Use the model When getting feedback… Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions (Norms help*)
  • 21. Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More
  • 22. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Mutual influence Responding to “bids”
  • 23. 5:1 positive to negative “Emotional bank account” Relationships & conflict
  • 24. Founder as avatar Think about your partner How’s your emotional bank account? What are you doing to build the relationship?
  • 25. Fairness Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 26. The net David Bradford How can we avoid triggering defensiveness? Read More Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 27. My behavior… Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Feelings Reactions Responses The net Me and my… You and your… Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 28. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response Don’t guess at motives Minimize social threat Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • 29. Founder as avatar Think about your partner When do you cross their net? When do they cross yours?
  • 30. Concepts #2 Emotional intelligence & groups Talking about feelings Group norms Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 31. EQ and groups Why care? Effective teams Participation, cooperation, collaboration Can’t mandate behavior Read More Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 32. EQ and groups Essential conditions… Mutual trust Group identity (feeling of belonging) Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) Strongly affected by group EQ Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 33. EQ and groups Individual EQ Emotional awareness Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) Inward (one’s own emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 34. EQ and groups High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
  • 35. Founder as avatar Your behavior = company norms How aware are you of your emotions? How well do you regulate your emotions?
  • 36. Talking about Affect labeling Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion feelings Photo by Andrew Yee [link] Read More
  • 37. Talking about Photo by Andrew Yee [link] Group norms Norms define what’s normative Can we talk about feelings here? Overcome embarrassment/shame feelings
  • 38. Our norms Photo by jm3 [link]
  • 39. Our norms Photo by jm3 [link] Consider company norms Create awareness of emotions Help regulate emotions Read More
  • 40. We never… We always… 1. Spend time getting to know others personally. Norms that create awareness
  • 41. We never… We always… 2. Regularly ask how others are doing. Norms that create awareness
  • 42. We never… We always… 3. Share thoughts and emotions with others in the moment. Norms that create awareness
  • 43. We never… We always… 4. Ask others who have been quiet in a discussion what they think. Norms that create awareness
  • 44. We never… We always… 5. Fully explore others’ resistance to our decisions. Norms that create awareness
  • 45. We never… We always… 6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate our own effectiveness. Norms that create awareness
  • 46. We never… We always… 7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling in the group in the moment. Norms that create awareness
  • 47. We never… We always… 1. Have clear ground rules for productive behavior in meetings. Norms that help regulate
  • 48. We never… We always… 2. Call out behavior that violates those ground rules. Norms that help regulate
  • 49. We never… We always… 3. Express acceptance of others’ emotions. Norms that help regulate
  • 50. We never… We always… 4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team and the emotions they generate. Norms that help regulate
  • 51. We never… We always… 5. Use playfulness to acknowledge and relieve stress. Norms that help regulate
  • 52. We never… We always… 6. Express optimism about the team’s capabilities. Norms that help regulate
  • 53. We never… We always… 7. Provide others with positive feedback in the moment. Norms that help regulate
  • 54. Our norms What norms do you have? What norms do you need? What can you do as leaders? Photo by jm3 [link]
  • 55. Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link] Concepts #3 Positive feedback Mindset Soft start
  • 56. Photo by Aaron Matthews [link] Positive feedback A paradox So important So often ineffective What’s wrong?
  • 57. Positive feedback We may not trust it We may even resent it We often praise the wrong things Read More
  • 58. Positive feedback Don’t praise to buffer criticism Use a soft start*
  • 59. Positive feedback Don’t praise to overcome resistance Use other influence tactics
  • 60. Positive feedback Don’t praise ability Praise effort and persistence
  • 61. Carol Dweck How do we feel about our abilities? How do we feel about our mistakes? Mindset Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] Read More
  • 62. Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Fixed Growth Mindset Read More
  • 63. Soft start Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
  • 64. Soft start Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
  • 65. Soft start Begin with positive intent (But no bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be aware of our own stress Read More
  • 66. 1:1 feedback Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
  • 67. 1:1 feedback When getting feedback… Observe your threat response Do you want to ask for specific feedback? Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
  • 68. 1:1 feedback Photo by Ana Karenina [link] When giving feedback… Positive feedback encouraged When criticizing, stay on your side of the net One option: When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  • 69. Closing Photo by Brett Casadonte [link]