High-Performance Communication, August 2014

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Slides from a video-conference on High-Performance Communication with a distributed management team.

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  • You're very welcome, Rita. Glad you found it helpful! And it is a really great photo, isn't it? I find almost all of my images on Flickr, which is why I try to be so scrupulous about crediting the photographer and linking back to each image's Flickr page--such a great resource. Thanks again!
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  • Ed, THANK YOU for your generous sharing of rich presentation ideas (and graphic narratives) especially regarding feedback. It's one of my favorite topics and I plan to upload my fast feedback presentation in the near future. I especially like your high-flying cover slide on this presentation as I'm also a private pilot. Kind regards, Rita
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High-Performance Communication, August 2014

  1. 1. High-performance communication Photo by Andres Rueda [link] Ed Batista August 4, 2014
  2. 2. Photo:SethAnderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
  3. 3. Discussion #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  4. 4. The headline Feedback = essential for learning But also stressful So create safety By criticizing with skill & expressing more appreciation Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
  5. 5. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  6. 6. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model
  7. 7. Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings  influence And vulnerability  closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
  8. 8. The net David Bradford How to improve communication? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Read More
  9. 9. The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  10. 10. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  11. 11. Discussion #2 5 levels Hierarchy of needs Safety, trust, intimacy Social threat SCARF model Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  12. 12. 5 levels Photo by Rita Willaert [link] Richard Francisco In what ways do we communicate? Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
  13. 13. 5 levels1: Ritual 2: Extended Ritual 3: Content 4: Feelings About Content 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  14. 14. 5 levels 5: Feelings About Each Other Hardest Riskiest Most powerful for feedback Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  15. 15. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings?
  16. 16. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Physiological Safety Love & belonging Esteem Self-actualization
  17. 17. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Parallels in groups & relationships
  18. 18. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Psychological safety, trust & intimacy Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability Learning, self- awareness & change In groups & relationships…
  19. 19. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy Read More
  20. 20. Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I won’t get hurt Trust = I believe you & you believe me Intimacy = We can make the private public
  21. 21. Safety, trust, intimacy Feedback can create these qualities But there’s a problem…
  22. 22. Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
  23. 23. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
  24. 24. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Physiological Photo by State Farm [link]
  25. 25. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Emotional Photo by State Farm [link]
  26. 26. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Cognitive Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by State Farm [link]
  27. 27. Social threat (Some) social situations ≈ Physical threats Many times/day Most common location?
  28. 28. Social threat Physiological/emotional response plus… Cognitive impairment Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  29. 29. Social threat Result? Massive communication failure We give feedback ineffectively We receive it poorly Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  30. 30. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model Read More David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response?
  31. 31. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? How can we minimize the risk of social threat? How can we create safety?
  32. 32. SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Read More
  33. 33. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair*
  34. 34. Use the model When getting feedback… Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Slow things down
  35. 35. Discussion #3 Relationships The net (again) Mindset Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  36. 36. Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More
  37. 37. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to “bids” Mutual influence
  38. 38. The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] (again)
  39. 39. The net How to improve communication? How to minimize defensiveness? How can we play fair? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  40. 40. The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  41. 41. What I know Me My intention My behavior
  42. 42. What I don’t You Your response
  43. 43. What you know You Your response My behavior
  44. 44. What you don’t Me My intention
  45. 45. Use the model Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  46. 46. Use the model Intent ≠ impact My intention doesn’t guarantee your response Impact ≠ intent Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
  47. 47. Use the model Result? Lower risk of social threat Less chance of defensiveness Increased sense of fairness
  48. 48. Carol Dweck How do we feel about our abilities? How do we feel about our mistakes? Mindset Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] Read More
  49. 49. Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Fixed Growth Mindset Read More
  50. 50. Soft start Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
  51. 51. Soft start Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
  52. 52. Soft start Begin with positive intent (But don’t bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
  53. 53. To sum up Build safety, trust & intimacy Use the models Minimize social threat Less stressful feedback More learning Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
  54. 54. Challenge yourself Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
  55. 55. Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Thank you!
  56. 56. Building a Feedback-Rich Culture HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees My background & coaching practice: www.edbatista.com/about.html Contact me: www.edbatista.com/contact.html For more info…
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