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Startup Communication, Dec 2013
 

Startup Communication, Dec 2013

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Slides that accompanied a half-day workshop for 11 pairs of co-founders on Startup Communication, held @ Flixster in San Francisco, December 19, 2013.

Slides that accompanied a half-day workshop for 11 pairs of co-founders on Startup Communication, held @ Flixster in San Francisco, December 19, 2013.

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    Startup Communication, Dec 2013 Startup Communication, Dec 2013 Presentation Transcript

    • Startup Communication Ed Batista @ Flixster December 18, 2013 Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
    • Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com blogs.hbr.org/ed-batista HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
    • Where are we going? 1:1 communication Group norms You as partners and role models Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
    • How will we get there? Concepts Exercises & debriefs 1:1 feedback Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
    • Startups as human systems Complex group dynamics Communication = survival Feedback = learning Relationships matter Leaders as levers Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
    • Founder as avatar
    • Founder as avatar Avatara The ideal made real Company made in your image
    • Concepts #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
    • The headline Feedback is stressful So criticize with skill & give more heartfelt praise Photo by Garry Knight [link]
    • The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y].
    • The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y].
    • Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings  influence And vulnerability  closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
    • The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • The net David Bradford How to avoid triggering defensiveness? How to increase perceptions of fairness? Read More Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • The net Me and my… You and your… My behavior… Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Feelings Reactions Responses
    • The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • Concepts #2 Social threat SCARF model Relationships The net (again) Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
    • Can I give you some feedback? Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
    • Feedback and social threat Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
    • Threat response aka “Fight or flight” Physiological signs? Emotional signs? Photo by William Warby [link]
    • Threat response Cognitive impairment… Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by William Warby [link]
    • Social threat Photo by David Sim [link]
    • Social threat Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
    • SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? Read More Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
    • SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Read More
    • SCARF model Threat to… Status? Certainty? Autonomy? Relatedness? Fairness? Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] & feedback
    • Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair* Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
    • Use the model When getting feedback… Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions (Norms help*)
    • Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More Photo by Harsha KR [link]
    • Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Mutual influence Responding to “bids”
    • Relationships & conflict 5:1 positive to negative “Emotional bank account”
    • Founder as avatar Think about your partner How’s your emotional bank account? What are you doing to build the relationship?
    • The net (again) Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • The net How to avoid triggering defensiveness? How to increase perceptions of fairness? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • The net Me and my… You and your… My behavior… Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Feelings Reactions Responses
    • The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Diminish social threat & defensiveness Increase perceptions of fairness Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
    • Founder as avatar Think about your partner When do you cross their net? When do they cross yours?
    • Concepts #3 Emotional intelligence & groups Talking about feelings Group norms Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
    • EQ and groups Why care? Effective teams Participation, cooperation, collaboration Can’t mandate behavior Read More Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
    • EQ and groups Essential conditions… Mutual trust Group identity (feeling of belonging) Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) Strongly affected by group EQ Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
    • EQ and groups Individual EQ Emotional awareness Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) Inward (one’s own emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
    • EQ and groups High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
    • Founder as avatar Your behavior = company norms How aware are you of your emotions? How well do you regulate your emotions?
    • Talking about Affect labeling feelings Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion Read More Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
    • Talking about Group norms feelings Norms define what’s normative Can we talk about feelings here? Overcome embarrassment/shame Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
    • Our norms Photo by jm3 [link]
    • Our norms Consider company norms Create awareness of emotions Help regulate emotions Read More Photo by jm3 [link]
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 1. Spend time getting to know others personally.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 2. Regularly ask how others are doing.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 3. Share thoughts and emotions with others in the moment.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 4. Ask others who have been quiet in a discussion what they think.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 5. Fully explore others’ resistance to our decisions.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate our own effectiveness.
    • Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling in the group in the moment.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 1. Have clear ground rules for productive behavior in meetings.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 2. Call out behavior that violates those ground rules.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 3. Express acceptance of others’ emotions.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team and the emotions they generate.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 5. Use playfulness to acknowledge and relieve stress.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 6. Express optimism about the team’s capabilities.
    • Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 7. Provide others with positive feedback in the moment.
    • Our norms What norms do you have? What norms do you need? What can you do as leaders? Photo by jm3 [link]
    • Concepts #4 Positive feedback Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
    • Positive feedback A paradox So important So often ineffective What’s wrong? Photo by Aaron Matthews [link]
    • Positive feedback We may not trust it We may even resent it We often praise the wrong things Read More
    • Positive feedback Don’t praise to buffer criticism Use a soft start*
    • Positive feedback Don’t praise to overcome resistance Use other influence tactics
    • Positive feedback Don’t praise ability Praise effort and persistence
    • Soft start Not like this Photo by Phil McElhinney [link]
    • Soft start Like this Photo by OakleyOriginals [link]
    • Soft start Begin with positive intent (But don’t bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
    • 1:1 feedback Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
    • 1:1 feedback When getting feedback… Observe your threat response Do you want to ask for specific feedback? Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
    • 1:1 feedback When giving feedback… Positive feedback encouraged When criticizing, stay on your side of the net When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Use the Vocabulary of Emotions Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
    • Closing Photo by Brett Casadonte [link]