131006 chi  i wish i knew series (part 1 - how to make better decisions) by ps. timothy loh
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  • 1. 您的探索现在开始。
  • 2. 我希望我知道 I wish I knew
  • 3. 我希望我知道 I wish I knew 活出一个没有遗憾的人生, 活出一个有目的的人生 Living a life without REGRETS, living a life with PURPOSE
  • 4. Forbes Magazine (18 Aug, 2012) “ 25 个人生最大的遗憾。而你的是什么呢?”
  • 5. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets:
  • 6. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 学习另一个语言 Learning another language
  • 7. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 学习另一个语言 Learning another language • 没有约那个男孩 / 女孩出去 Not asking that girl/boy out
  • 8. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 学习另一个语言 Learning another language • 没有约那个男孩 / 女孩出去 Not asking that girl/boy out • 过于埋头于工作而牺牲了家庭和友谊 Working so much at the expense of family and friendships
  • 9. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 担心别人如何看自己 Worrying about what others thought about me so much
  • 10. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 担心别人如何看自己 Worrying about what others thought about me so much • 自信心不足 Not having enough confidence in myself
  • 11. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 担心别人如何看自己 Worrying about what others thought about me so much • 自信心不足 Not having enough confidence in myself • 依据父母的想法过生活而不是过自己想要 的生活 Living the life that my parents wanted me to live instead of the one I wanted to
  • 12. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 更多地和家人或朋友去旅游 Gone on more trips with the family/friends
  • 13. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 更多地和家人或朋友去旅游 Gone on more trips with the family/friends • 让我的婚姻破裂 Letting my marriage break down
  • 14. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 更多地和家人或朋友去旅游 Gone on more trips with the family/friends • 让我的婚姻破裂 Letting my marriage break down • 让我的孩子做更多的事情 Taught my kids to do stuff more
  • 15. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 没有和家人或朋友释前嫌 Burying the hatchet with a family member or old friend
  • 16. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 没有和家人或朋友释前嫌 Burying the hatchet with a family member or old friend • 年轻时误交损友 Getting involved with the wrong group of friends when I was younger
  • 17. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 没有和家人或朋友释前嫌 Burying the hatchet with a family member or old friend • 年轻时误交损友 Getting involved with the wrong group of friends when I was younger • 弃了自己想要的工作而选择了务实的工作 Choosing the practical job over the one I really wanted
  • 18. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 花更多时间与孩子相处 Spending more time with the kids
  • 19. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 花更多时间与孩子相处 Spending more time with the kids • 当我还有机会时,没有好好照顾自己的健 康 Not taking care of my health when I had the chance
  • 20. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 花更多时间与孩子相处 Spending more time with the kids • 当我还有机会时,没有好好照顾自己的健 康 Not taking care of my health when I had the chance • 没有探望一位垂死的朋友 Not visiting a dying friend before he died
  • 21. 25 个最大遗憾中的一些例子 Some of the 25 biggest regrets: • 成为一位更好的爸爸或妈妈 Being a better father or mother
  • 22. 3 个主要人生遗憾的领域 (从 20 , 30 , 40 到临终) 3 main realms of life regrets (from 20, 30, 40… death bed)
  • 23. 3 个主要人生遗憾的领域 (从 20 , 30 , 40 到临终) 3 main realms of life regrets (from 20, 30, 40… death bed) • 金钱的领域 The realm of Finance
  • 24. 3 个主要人生遗憾的领域 (从 20 , 30 , 40 到临终) 3 main realms of life regrets (from 20, 30, 40… death bed) • 金钱的领域 The realm of Finance • 关系的领域 The realm of Relationships
  • 25. 3 个主要人生遗憾的领域 (从 20 , 30 , 40 到临终) 3 main realms of life regrets (from 20, 30, 40… death bed) • 金钱的领域 The realm of Finance • 关系的领域 The realm of Relationships • 品格的领域 The realm of Character
  • 26. 在人生里,我们总是用以下方法来应 对 When it comes to life, we tend to approach it in few ways:
  • 27. 在人生里,我们总是用以下方法来应 对 When it comes to life, we tend to approach it in few ways: • 反应 Reaction
  • 28. 在人生里,我们总是用以下方法来应 对 When it comes to life, we tend to approach it in few ways: • 反应 Reaction • 附和 Conformity
  • 29. 在人生里,我们总是用以下方法来应 对 When it comes to life, we tend to approach it in few ways: • 反应 Reaction • 附和 Conformity • 独立 Independence
  • 30. 在这一个系列,我们要有目的地的生活 In this series, we want to approach life with INTENTIONALITY:
  • 31. 在这一个系列,我们要有目的地的生活 In this series, we want to approach life with INTENTIONALITY: • 在自我帮助书籍 = 以终为始 In self help books = Begin with the end in mind
  • 32. 在这一个系列,我们要有目的地的生活 In this series, we want to approach life with INTENTIONALITY: • 在自我帮助书籍 = 以终为始 In self help books = Begin with the end in mind • 在工程学里 = 逆向工程 In engineering = Reverse engineering
  • 33. • 传道书 7:8 = 事情的结局胜于开端 In Ecclesiastes 7:8 = “The end of a matter is better than its beginning” 在这一个系列,我们要有目的地的生活 In this series, we want to approach life with INTENTIONALITY:
  • 34. • 传道书 7:8 = 事情的结局胜于开端 In Ecclesiastes 7:8 = “The end of a matter is better than its beginning” 在生活中,如何开始是其次但如何完成是关键 Truly in life, it’s not how you start but how you finish. 在这一个系列,我们要有目的地的生活 In this series, we want to approach life with INTENTIONALITY:
  • 35. 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 36. 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living • 看见自己想要的未来然后决定我们现在应 该如何生活 Painting a picture of a preferred FUTURE and determining how we should live NOW.
  • 37. 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living • 看见自己想要的未来然后决定我们现在应 该如何生活 Painting a picture of a preferred FUTURE and determining how we should live NOW. • 向前预期生命和回头活出生命 Anticipating life FORWARD and living it BACKWARD
  • 38. • 为现在做出更好的决定,以免以后有更多 的遗憾 Making better decisions NOW and having fewer regrets LATER. 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 39. • 为现在做出更好的决定,以免以后有更多 的遗憾 Making better decisions NOW and having fewer regrets LATER. • 忍受现在的不舒适和痛苦的改变,以便以 后可享受自由和奖励 Enduring uncomfortable or even painful changes NOW and enjoying the freedom and the reward LATER. 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 40. • 哈巴谷书 2:2 “ 耶和华回答我说:“把异象写下,清楚地 记在泥板上,使读的人容易明白。”  Habakkuk 2:2 (NKJV) “Write the vision, And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.” 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 41. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 42. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何做出更好的决定 How to make better decisions 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 43. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何做出更好的决定 How to make better decisions •如何摆脱债务 How to get out of debts 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 44. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何做出更好的决定 How to make better decisions •如何摆脱债务 How to get out of debts •如何获得财务利差 How to gain financial margin 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 45. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何做出更好的决定 How to make better decisions •如何摆脱债务 How to get out of debts •如何获得财务利差 How to gain financial margin •如何拥有稳固的婚姻 How to have a strong marriage life 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 46. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何建立一个健康的约会生活 / 育儿生活 How to build a healthy dating life / parenting 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 47. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何建立一个健康的约会生活 / 育儿生活 How to build a healthy dating life / parenting •如何避免愤怒 How to keep anger at bay 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 48. 接下来的几个星期,《我希望我知道》 Next few weeks, “I Wish I Knew”: •如何建立一个健康的约会生活 / 育儿生活 How to build a healthy dating life / parenting •如何避免愤怒 How to keep anger at bay •如何避免无法饶恕的陷阱 How to avoid unforgiveness trap 有目的地的生活 Intentional Living
  • 49. 第一部:如何做出更好的决定 Part 1: How to make better decisions
  • 50. 决定我们终点的, 是我们的决定,而不是我们的欲 望 Our Decisions, not our Desires determine our Destinations.
  • 51. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 52. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making: 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do?
  • 53. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making: 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions:
  • 54. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making: 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我对生活是否有明确的优先事物? Do I have a clear priority in life?
  • 55. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making: 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我对生活是否有明确的优先事物? Do I have a clear priority in life? – 我是否已搜寻了所有的事实 / 研究报告? Do I gather all the facts / research thoroughly?
  • 56. 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我是否已听取各方? Do I listen to all parties? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 57. 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我是否已听取各方? Do I listen to all parties? – 我是否做了个冲动 / 情绪化的决定? Do I make an impulsive / emotional decision? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 58. 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我是否评估了所有长期与短期的可能性? Do I weigh all possible outcome, both short and long term? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 59. 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我是否评估了所有长期与短期的可能性? Do I weigh all possible outcome, both short and long term? – 我是否违反了任何道德 / 神的道德原则? Do I violate any clear moral / ethical principle of God? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 60. 1. 原则 - 什么是正确的事? Principles - What is the right thing to do? •适用于大多数决定的原则 Principles that applies in almost every decisions: – 我是否做了个共同决定(夫妻)? Do I make a together decision (for couples) 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 61. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 62. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? • 明智的忠告 Wise counsel 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 63. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? • 明智的忠告 Wise counsel • 爱你的人 / 为你获得最佳利益的人 People who love you / have best interest for you 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 64. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? • 明智的忠告 Wise counsel • 爱你的人 / 为你获得最佳利益的人 People who love you / have best interest for you • 牵涉在问题或是参与在解决方案里的人 People who are part of the problem or part of the solution 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 65. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •罗波安 (列王记上 12 ) - 拒绝了明智的忠 告,听取了错误的忠告 Rehoboam (1 King 12) – rejected wise counsel, listened wrong counsel 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 66. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •箴言里有许多寻求忠告的经文 Proverbs has overwhelming many verses on seeking wise counsel: 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 67. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •箴言里有许多寻求忠告的经文 Proverbs has overwhelming many verses on seeking wise counsel: – 箴言 12:15 愚妄人所行的,在自己眼中看為 正直,只有智慧人肯聽勸告。 Pro 12:15 - The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 68. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •箴言里有许多寻求忠告的经文 Proverbs has overwhelming many verses on seeking wise counsel: – 箴言 15:22 不經商議,計劃必定失敗;謀士眾 多,計劃就可成功 Pro 15:22 - Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 69. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •箴言里有许多寻求忠告的经文 Proverbs has overwhelming many verses on seeking wise counsel: – 箴言 11:14 沒有智謀,國家敗落;謀士眾多, 就能得勝。 Pro 11:14 - Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 70. 2. 人 - 我可以向谁问取明智的忠告? People - Who can I go to for wise counsel? •箴言里有许多寻求忠告的经文 Proverbs has overwhelming many verses on seeking wise counsel: – 这些大多数是由所罗门王写的:最有智慧的人 寻求明智的忠告 King Solomon wrote most of it – the wisest man seeks wise counsel! 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 71. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 72. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •在人生中的重大决定 For major decision in life: 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 73. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •在人生中的重大决定 For major decision in life: – 别在没有寻求神的情况下做决定 Never decide without seeking God 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 74. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •在人生中的重大决定 For major decision in life: – 别在没有寻求神的情况下做决定 Never decide without seeking God – 别在不交托给神的情况下做决定 Never decide without submitting it to God 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 75. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •神知道最好的,神最爱我们 God knows best, God loves us most. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 76. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •神知道最好的,神最爱我们 God knows best, God loves us most. •罗得与亚伯兰(创世纪 13 ) - 罗得的决定 基于自然,亚伯兰的决定基于神。 Lot and Abram (Gen 13) – Lot decided based on the natural, Abram decided based on the divine. 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 77. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •箴言 16:3 當把你所作的交託耶和華,你的 計劃就必成功 Pro 16:3 - Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 78. 3. 祷告 - 上帝怎么说? Prayers - What is God saying in this? •箴言 16:9 人心計劃自己的道路,他的腳步 卻由耶和華指引。 Proverbs 16:9 - In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 79. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 80. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God •我该如何反应? 在下一步,我是否可相信上 帝 ? How can I respond to this? Can I trust God in the next step? 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 81. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God •旧约: 大卫在每一场战争中都寻问耶和华 OT - David inquire of the Lord at every battle 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 82. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God •新约:保罗在圣灵的带领下改变已经决定好 的旅途 NT - Paul changes his planned journey as HS leads 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 83. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God •箴言 19:21 人心裡的謀算很多,唯有耶和華的計 劃能實現。 Pro 19:21 - Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 84. 4. 天意:神的介入 / 上帝的工作 Providence - the divine intervention / engineering of God •罗马书 8:28 我們知道,為了愛神的人,就是按他 旨意蒙召的人的益處,萬事都一同效力。 Rom 8:28 - 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose 4 个做出更好决定的指引 4 Guiding Rules of Better Decision Making:
  • 85. 决定我们终点的, 是我们的决定,而不是我们的欲 望 Our Decisions, not our Desires determine our Destinations.
  • 86. 反思 Take away reflections:
  • 87. 反思 Take away reflections: • 在过去,你是如何做决定的? How did you make decisions in the past?
  • 88. 反思 Take away reflections: • 在过去,你是如何做决定的? How did you make decisions in the past? • 继续前行时,你会如何做出决定? How are you going to make decisions moving forward?
  • 89. 第一部:如何做出更好的决定 Part 1: How to make better decisions