Love, courtship, and marriage

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"Love, courtship, and marriage" seminar held at Jesus Our Faithful Lord Family Christian Church last February , 2011.

"Love, courtship, and marriage" seminar held at Jesus Our Faithful Lord Family Christian Church last February , 2011.

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  • Romanticism and sentimentalism. "Puppy love." Boy-crazy; girl-crazy.
  • Taking advantage of another (age, height, weight, looks, intellect, emotional maturity, spiritual maturity, social standings, social skills, psychological understanding, place of authority, financial superiority, etc.)
  • Need for love, acceptance, relating, bonding, belonging, to be valued, affirmed, excitement, identity, etc.
  • “my loved one is my life" – attitude.Totally preoccupied in attention and time.To say or believe that another person is “everything” or the most important thing in one’s life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20; Colossians 3:5).
  • Nagsisimulasa “crush”Nagiging “mutual understanding” or M.U.Panahonngligawan“Select and dissect” processChristian teens should still know God’s perspective on dating. Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating. You see the magazines, TV shows, and movies that tell you how you’re young, and you should date a lot of people before you get married.
  • You should know the person you are dating and know their beliefs. You should check your potential boyfriend against the values listed in 1 Corinthians. Compatibility Test Questions:1. Is this person spiritually regenerated? John 3:1-62. Take time to observe their values and attitudes. Matt. 7:163. Will they pray with you? ...study Scripture? ...attend church?4. Are there common objectives and priorities?5. Discuss short-range and long-range goals. Career choices.6. Check what kind of friends they have?7. Do you have the same hobbies and interest?
  • While you may not be looking at marrying anyone at the moment, it should always be in the back of your head. Why get involved emotionally with someone that you should not marry? This does not mean you cannot be friends with that person, but you should not date them.
  • This also means that you should avoid “missionary dating,” which is dating a non-believer in the hopes that you can convert him or her. Your intentions may be noble, but the relationships rarely work out. Some Christians have even gotten married to non-believers, hoping that they can convert their spouse, but often the relationships end up in disaster.
  • God calls us to love one another, but the scripture is clear that He asks us to be careful. While love is a beautiful thing, the breaking off of relationships is hard. There is a reason they call it a “broken heart.”
  • God understands the power in love and the damage a broken heart can do. This is why it is important for Christian teens to really pray, know their hearts, and listen to God when they decide to date.So make sure you are only dating those who share your beliefs. Otherwise you may find that your relationship is a struggle rather than a joy.
  • When we are just beginning to figure out who we are, we may not be firmly grounded enough spiritually to form solid romantic attachments and may be more prone to making unwise decisions that can leave us with emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual damage.
  • Mag-on na kayoThe relationship is official“Marriage Preparation” processChristians need to make sure they have a clear understanding of the person they may marry before becoming engaged. This allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.
  • We need to realize that God means for us to meet the ONE person that we are meant to marry. According to Genesis, a man will leave home to marry one women to become one flesh. You do not need to date a lot of people – just the right one.
  • Christian teens need to guard their hearts. The word “love” is thrown around with little thought. Yet, we often live for love. We live for God’s love first and foremost, but we also live for the love of others. While there are many definitions of love, 1 Corinthians tells us how God defines love.It is love that should drive Christian teens to date, but it should not be the shallow version of love. When you date it should be taken seriously.
  • Any and all sexual and pre-sexual activity should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, that gives the appearance of immorality, or that could be considered foreplay. Many pastors and Christian counselors strongly advise a couple to not go beyond holding hands, hugging, and light kissing before marriage. By essence, foreplay is designed to get one ready for sex. Logically then, foreplay should be restricted to married couples. Anything that can be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage. The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).
  • An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, that gives the appearance of immorality, or that could be considered foreplay. Many pastors and Christian counselors strongly advise a couple to not go beyond holding hands, hugging, and light kissing before marriage. By essence, foreplay is designed to get one ready for sex. Logically then, foreplay should be restricted to married couples. Anything that can be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage. The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).
  • Life-long relationshipMarriage is not only a commitment, but a covenant with God. It is the promise to remain with that other person for the remainder of your life, no matter what happens.
  • Marriage should never be entered into with the idea that divorce is an option—not even as the last straw.

Transcript

  • 1. What does the Bible say about
    love, courtship, marriage?
  • 2.
  • 3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
    5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
    6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
    7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
  • 4. Love is not…
    Something you "fall into" - a black hole
  • 5. Love is not…
    Infatuation, Emotional loss of control, “Flipped out“, "Couldn't help myself."
  • 6. Love is not…
    • Evaluating another by external criteria
    • 7. "She's a #10"
  • Love is not…
    • Selfish
    • 8. Interested in "getting" to satisfy your needs
  • Love is not…
    Taking advantage of another
  • 9. Love is not…
    Improper need fulfillment
    Improper need fulfillment
  • 10. Love is not…
    Lust. Hormones. Lasciviousness, sensuality. "Let's get physical."
    Improper need fulfillment
  • 11. Love is not…
    Sex
    "Making love."
    Improper need fulfillment
  • 12. Love is not…
    Idolatry
  • 13.
  • 14. True Love is…
    • Respectful of the other person's values, standards and opinions
    • 15. Unselfish and unconditional
    • 16. Responsible to seek the highest good of the other person "for better or for worse"
  • Stage 1: Courtship
  • 17. What does the Bible say about “Courtship”?
    Huwagkayongmakipamatoksahindimananampalatayasapagkatanongpakikipag-isamayroonngaangkatuwiransahindipagkilalasakautusanngDiyos? Anongpakikisamamayroonangliwanag at kadiliman?
    - 2 MgaTaga-Corinto 6:14
  • 18. What does the Bible say about “Courtship”?
    Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
    - 1 Corinthians 15:33
  • 19. What does the Bible say about “Courtship”?
    • The Bible seriously warns us about dating non-Christians.
  • What does the Bible say about “Courtship”?
    • The Bible seriously warns us about dating non-Christians.
    • 20. Avoid “missionary dating”
  • What does the Bible say about “Courtship”?
    • The Bible seriously warns us about dating non-Christians.
    • 21. Avoid “missionary dating”
    • 22. Be careful of recreational dating, where you date for the sake of dating.
  • The ultimate goal of dating or courting is finding a life partner.
  • 23. How young is too young to be in a romantic relationship?
    • Depends on the individual’s level of maturity, goals, and beliefs.
    • 24. The younger we are, the less mature we are due to a lack of life experience.
    • 25. If being marriage-minded is still far off, it is probably too early to begin dating or courtship.
  • Stage 2: Engagement
  • 26. What does the Bible say about “Engagement”?
    “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
    Genesis 2:24
  • 27. What does the Bible say about “Engagement”?
    Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.“
    Genesis 2:18
  • 28. What does the Bible say about “Engagement”?
    “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (NIV)
    Proverbs 4:23
  • 29. Warnings on Sexual Immorality
    1. Ephesians 5:3
    But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
  • 30. Warnings on Sexual Immorality
    2. 1 Corinthians 6:13b
    The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
  • 31. Warnings on Sexual Immorality
    3. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
    18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
    19Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
    20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
  • 32. Bottomline
    Any and all sexual and pre-sexual activity should be restricted to married couples.
    Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves
  • 33. Stage 3: Marriage
  • 34. What does the Bible say about “Marriage”?
    1. Ephesians 5:31
    For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
  • 35. What does the Bible say about “Marriage”?
    2. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
    1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
  • 36. What does the Bible say about “Marriage”?
    2. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
     5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
  • 37. What does the Bible say about “Marriage”?
    3. Hebrews 13:4
    Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.