Shawna Plunkett, M.A., L.P.C
& David A. Songco, B.Sc.
How do we communicate?
What are we communicating?
“I just can’t take it!”
program designed to teach young people
to become responsible, respectful and
resourceful members of their communities
Models aimed at developing mutually
respectful relationships. Positive Discipline
teaches adults to employ kindness and
ﬁrmness at the same time, and is neither
punitive nor permissive.
Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and
Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and ﬁrm at the same
Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking,
feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and
what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for
others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to
contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the
constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)
Three Main Approaches for
-Order Without Freedom
Strictness -No choices
“You do it because I said so”
-Freedom without order
Permissiveness -Unlimited Choices
“You can do anything you want”
Freedom with order
Positive Discipline “You can choose within limits that
show respect for all”
Four Steps for Winning
1. Express understanding for the child’s feelings
2.Show empathy without condoning
3.Share your real feelings
4.Invite the child to focus on a solution
Undue Attention - “I belong only when I
have your attention”
Misguided Power - “I belong only when I’m
the boss, or at least when I don’t let you
Revenge - “I don’t belong, but at least I can
Assumed Inadequacy - “It is impossible to
belong, I give up”
Mistaken Goal Chart
One Final Touch
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to ﬁght.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement he learns to be conﬁdent.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns it is good to have a
If a child lives with honesty he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself
and those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice
place in which to live to love and be loved.
Presenter Contact Information
David Songco -
Shawna Plunkett - email@example.com