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Are you shy? Would you like to beat it?

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  1. 1.
  2. 2.  Most people that meet now day would probably say that I am an extrovert.  Always on show and love attention.  However, would you believe that only ten years ago I would have been considered shy?  I used to be really shy and it was keeping me back from doing a lot of things and meeting a lot of people.
  3. 3.  I was afraid to talk or introduce myself to people.  I was scared of what they would think of me. If the person was a female of the opposite sex then I was as good as useless.  There was no way I would go up and talk to her.  She may tell me to get lost or laugh at me.
  4. 4.  It took a while to learn that my shyness wasn’t about because I am a timid person, it was because I lacked a strong believe in myself, my appearance and my own confidence.  I was a strong believer in self doubt.  In fact it was so strong that it crippled me in a couple of areas.  The only thing that I had going for me was I knew that I had to change.
  5. 5.  That need for change kept on build until I was 27.  At that time I was overweight, long hair and living with my parents.  My friends were all fit and health, married or dating people and living in their own houses.  Instead of feeling like a young man that could tackle the world, felt, and acted like a little boy.
  6. 6.  The problem with that was I was content to stay there.  I would have been happy to allow things to be done for me and remained immature.  Again this was due to the lack of confidence and shyness that I was carrying.  Fortunately, a rather nasty comment about my weight snapped me into action.
  7. 7.  In a period of 4 months I lost 20kgs through walking, eating properly and a wee but of weight lifting.  I then decide to cut my hair.  In fact I went from hair half way down my back to a number one.  This all made me feel better and build my confidence, which then gave me strength to move out of mum and dad’s place into my own home.
  8. 8.  I then decided to go out with some friends one night and when they first saw me they were stunned.  Some could hardly believe it was me.  Their positive comments about my looks, my weight and even my attitude helped to build my confidence.  I even had enough confidence to talk to a woman.
  9. 9.  I was kicking myself for taking so long to get to this point.  I couldn’t help but think about all of the opportunities I had lost in those years of self doubt.  I decide that that would never happen again.  I was determined to make sure that I never hid away again and never missed another opportunity.
  10. 10.  So I came up with a simple set of questions that can be applied to any situation.  The first is, “What will happen if I don’t do this?”  The second is a “What will happen if I do do this?”  In relation to a talking to a girl, if I don’t talk to her, then I never know if she does like, or if I had a chance to get to know her better.  Could I spend the rest of my life regretting not just saying hello?
  11. 11.  What would happen if I did talk to her?  She may like me and I may get to know her.  Alternately she may say she is not interested, but at least I would know where I stood and I could go talk to somebody else.
  12. 12.  So I say to you, don’t let shyness stand in your way.  Build your confidence, take chances and talk to people.  Ask yourself the same questions I still ask myself and start having a life you will enjoy living.
  13. 13.  For more information visit  Terry Shadwell