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Crucial conversations v3



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  • Why do we call this session as crucial conversation?# essential success factorsStay focusedMutual trust and respectStay on purpose
  • Outcome and relationships are at stake


  • 1. Crucial Conversations
    Dr. Sarma
    May 18th 2011
  • 2. How to define a Crucial Conversation? 
    • “It is a discussion between two or more people where the stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong.”  It concerns 
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 2
    Saama Confidential
  • 3. What is a Crucial Confrontation?
    • Confrontations are about disappointments. “They are made up of failed promises, missed expectations, and all other bad behavior. Confrontations comprise the very foundation of
    • 4. They start with the question: “Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do?”
    • 5. End when a solution is reached and both parties are motivated and able to comply.”
    • 6. If handled well, problems are resolved and relationships become stronger.
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 3
    Saama Confidential
  • 7. What to Do About That Fork In the Road?
    • "When you come to a fork in the road...what do you do?”
    • 8. Do you hesitate about which way to go, now, with the rest of the working life.
    • 9. Such a dilemma may occur due to yet another organizational change or merely due to a professional "mid-life crisis" (which can occur at any chronological age).
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 4
    Saama Confidential
  • 10. Story of an Eagle
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 5
    Saama Confidential
  • 11. When to make a call? And who will make that call?
    • Whether the career is being shook up from the outside - in or
    the inside - out
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 6
    Saama Confidential
  • 12. Crucial Confrontations
  • 13. Six (6) Calls
    •  Here are six "Calls" to help you confidently pick up that
    metaphoric fork and proceed with the future work best
    that you deserve:
    Call your gifts, talents, abilities, competencies, and skills
    Call your fears. Fear is a paralyzer
    Call your role models and supporters
    Get a coach
    Call on success
    Call a plan
  • 14. 1. Call your gifts, talents, abilities, competencies, and skills
    •  Make a list of each and everyone you can think of. All of them. Pick your true honest critics first
    • 15. When you think you've exhausted your list, think of ten more!
    • 16. Ask yourself:
    • 17. What are my passions and interests in life?
    • 18. What do I love to do, more than anything else?
    • 19. What do I care about, more than anything else?
    • 20. Identify ways to marry your passion and values to your professional contribution
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 9
    Saama Confidential
  • 21. 2. Call your fears. Fear is a paralyzer.
    •  It can keep you stuck in neutral forever
    • 22. "Behold the turtle...who only makes progress when he sticks
    his neck out!"
    • Push yourself forward by asking:
    • 23. What am I afraid of?
    • 24. What is keeping me from actively pursuing the path I'd really like to follow (right here within my current organization)?
    • 25. What's the "pay off" for me to just stand at the fork in the road, all the rest of my professional days and never choose one path over another? What's the damage?
    • 26. Is it really a "mistake" if I choose a path that turns out to be not right for me, after all...or can I see that travelling a little way down that road is part of the tapestry of my working wisdom in progress...and cut my own "dirt path" to the other road, if need be?
    • 27. What is blocking me? Do I want to push through it, or do I want to stick with my current malaise all the rest of my days?
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 10
    Saama Confidential
  • 28. Two Quotes
    • "If you argue for your get to keep them!" (from Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
    • 29. The other, "Indecision is a decision"...
    • 30. Give yourself a "butt kick" and take some action...any action is better than no action, in many cases
    • 31. Sometimes it's better to make a choice, and find out it's not right for you, after all, rather than not make any choice...ever and spend the rest of your days carefully avoiding your definition of "making a mistake"
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 11
    Saama Confidential
  • 32. 3. Call your role models and supporters
    • Behavior modeling and identifying your network are terrific strategies for getting past those troublesome forks in the road.
    • 33. Ask yourself:
    • 34. Who are the people that I most admire? What are their qualities that make them so admirable in my eyes?
    • 35. How can I fold these admired qualities into my own way of being, while still keeping my own sense of self and integrity?
    • 36. What do I need to do to successfully incorporate those qualities into my personality?
    • 37. Who are the people I can turn to when I need specific results?
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 12
    Saama Confidential
  • 38. Who Matters?
    • Cheerleaders - those who remind me of my strengths; provide me with the loving support I sometimes need
    • 39. Skill Builders - those willing to teach me new skills; help me brush up and refine old skills; suggest strategies for helping me to get the results I desire
    • 40. Recommenders - those who suggest and help me identify the next steps to take to get me where I want to go; those who bring information to me without me even asking; let me know of new and existing opportunities and resources to help me move along; keep their ear to the ground with my advancement in mind
    • 41. Challengers - those who pitch thought provoking questions and "what ifs" to keep me on my toes and stimulate my development; cause me to reconsider my strategies, approaches and plans; encourage me to hone my inter- personal and negotiating skills and provide me with opportunities to practice
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 13
    Saama Confidential
  • 42. Who Matters? Cont…
    • Spotlighters - those who promote my profile and visibility by heralding and advertising my achievements; they encourage me to boldly and unashamedly advertise my achievements, interests and aspirations
    • 43. Esteem Builders - encourage me; support and champion my positive self- image; help me identify and choose positive stories to tell myself
    • 44. Connectors - those who directly or indirectly put me in touch with helpful people and/or information to move me forward; share information resources
    • 45. Political Advisors - those who give me advice on how to approach various people and problems; they help me determine strategic and politically savvy ways to get things done
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 14
    Saama Confidential
  • 46. 4. Get a Coach
    • Trust that another person will help you to see your blind-spots
    • 47. Even if you potentially can hold your own hand through some dark hours of the professional soul, “Get a Coach”
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 15
    Saama Confidential
  • 48. 5. Call on Success
    • At the fork in the road--to clearly define what "success" means to you
    • 49. Ask yourself:
    • 50. What do I want out of my life? My work?
    • 51. How can a shift in career or the attitudes and behaviors I bring to my current position, promote and foster my life goals?
    • 52. What are my life goals? Have I ever bothered to think of these? Is now a good time to (re)visit my life goals?
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 16
    Saama Confidential
  • 53. Confused about Success - What does that mean?
    • What does "success" mean to me?
    • 54. What does "success" mean to others around me?
    • 55. What does "success" at my job / in my profession mean, within my organization?
    • 56. How do I define success in my personal life?
    • 57. How does "society's" prescribed definition of personal and professional success influence my own definition of this concept?
    • 58. Do I suspect that my definition of success will change as I grow older? How?
    • 59. How can I broaden my personal definition of success?
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 17
    Saama Confidential
  • 60. 6. Call a Plan
    • S.T.A.N. – Strategic, Timely And Network... your guts out!
    • 61. L.B.W.A. – Living By Wandering Around
    • 62. Try the right brain exercise of mind-mapping or build a collage on the theme of where you want to professionally "go.” Map out with words, as well, practical, "do-able today" steps to move yourself forward
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 18
    Saama Confidential
  • 63. Ask yourself:
    • What is one small but positive step I can put into action today?
    • 64. What two other things can I do within a defined and reasonable parameter of time, e.g. next 30 days, to move me forward even more?
    • 65. What are at least two strategies for networking with others (who have something in common with me) that I am comfortable implementing immediately?
    • 66. How many ways can I continue to expand my Circle of Influence (CI)?
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 19
    Saama Confidential
  • 67. Expand Your Circle of Influence
    Circle of Influence
    Center of Concerns
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 20
    Saama Confidential
  • 68. Summary
    Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 21
    Saama Confidential
  • 69. Wednesday, June 22, 2011
    Page 22
    Saama Confidential