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Polyamorous Behaviors of Non-Poly Identified Peoples
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Polyamorous Behaviors of Non-Poly Identified Peoples

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  • Children of baby boomers – born near the peak of the sexual revolution (1970s)
  • Lifetime range 0-4,327 (average 64; median 21.5; mode 20) Last year range 0-200 (average 4.9; median 3; mode 2) Current range 0-20 (average 2.4; 2 median; 2 mode)
  • Single/Never Married 24.5% Divorced/Separated 22.2% Married/Domestic Partner 55%

Transcript

  • 1. Polyamorous Behaviors of Non-Poly Identified Peoples
  • 2. Young Luo Polygynous Family
  • 3.  
  • 4. Husband 2nd Wife 4th Wife 3rd Wife 1st Wife Grandmother & Young Children Main Entrance Luo Compound Unmarried Sons Private Entrance
  • 5. Luo Compound -- Main Entrance
  • 6. Luo Compound--Private Entrance
  • 7. Maasai Polygynous Triad
  • 8. Maasai Compound
  • 9. Huli Polygynist
  • 10. Huli Men’s House
  • 11. Huli Co-Wives House
  • 12. Huli Men
  • 13. Enga Women with their Pigs
  • 14. Sweet Potato Garden
  • 15. African-American Triad
  • 16. Multiple Partner Survey March 19 – April 4, 2008 (2 ½ weeks) 716 completed surveys (99.6% completion) 50 Questions
  • 17. Poly Cultural Conventions
    • Embrace Poly Culture
    • Jealousy Management
    • Compersion
    • NRE Management
    • Disclosure
      • Transparency
      • Consensuality
  • 18. Age Average – 39 Median – 38 Mode – 38 Range 19-74
  • 19. Sex
  • 20. Sexual Orientation
  • 21. Education
  • 22. Current Religious Practice
  • 23. Number of Partners
  • 24. Relationship Patterns
  • 25. Residence Patterns
  • 26. Marital Status
  • 27. Polyamory Affiliation
    • Books and Publications
    • Leaders and Spokespeople
    • Language and Cultural Practices
  • 28. Books and Publications
    • Love without Limits – 61%
    • The Ethical Slut – 84%
    • Loving More Magazine – 57%
    • None – 12%
  • 29. Leaders and Spokespeople
    • Deborah (Taj) Anapol – 45%
    • Oberon Zell – 33%
    • Robyn Trask –32%
    • Nan Wise –24%
    • Sasha and Janet Lessin – 21%
    • None – 37%
  • 30. Language & Cultural Practices
    • NRE (New Relationship Energy) – 67%
    • Compersion – 67%
    • Transparency – 50%
    • NVC (Non-violent Com.) –22%
    • None 17%
  • 31. Definitions of Polyamory
    • Responsible/ethical/honest non-monogamy
    • Having sex with more than one man
    • A deep, emotional, sometimes physical relationship with more than one partner simultaneously
    • Relationship with multiple people in which everyone knows about each other and is okay about it.
    • Having multiple concurrent romantic relationships with the full informed, uncoerced consent of all parties.
  • 32. More Poly Definitions
    • Believing that we can love more than one person at the same time, with or without sexual engagement.
    • An exploration into conscious relating that doesn't subscribe to the conventional paradigm of lifelong marriage. Rather than revolving around the couple, it revolves around the individual as a whole and evolving person. Based on non-possessive love.
  • 33. Do you experience jealousy when your partner/lover appears interested in someone new?
    • Females – 54%
    • Males – 39%
    • Poly Enculturated – 53%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 67%
    • Gay Men – 67%
    • Bisexual Women – 52%
  • 34. When my partner tells me what a good time they had with one of their lovers, I feel happy for them.
    • Females – 76%
    • Males – 84%
    • Poly Enculturated – 81%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 63%
    • Gay Men – 67%
    • Bisexual Women – 81%
  • 35. It varies: sometimes I'm genuinely happy for them (both), sometimes I have to force myself to be realistic so as to not feel jealous. Sometimes I'm openly jealous and sometimes I feel indifferent. Compersion Comments It depends on whether I've met and liked the other person. My boyfriend tends to chose poorly for himself, so I'm suspicious until I meet this new person. My husband has no other partners.
  • 36. More Compersion Comments
    • It's complicated. :-) I am happy that my partner had a great time. But that doesn't mean that hearing all of the details is particularly easy.
    • Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Usually depends on where I am with my own insecurities.
  • 37. I try to limit my activities with other lovers so that they will not replace/displace my primary relationship .
    • Females – 32%
    • Males – 34%
    • Poly Enculturated – 24%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 34%
    • Gay Men – 30%
    • Bisexual Women – 29%
  • 38. As for sharing intimate details about other partners/lovers, I find that “ don ’ t ask, don ’ t tell ” is the best practice.
    • Females – 14%
    • Males – 15%
    • Poly Enculturated – 8.6%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 40%
    • Gay Men – 40%
    • Bisexual Women – 11%
  • 39. When I connect with someone new I find it very difficult to interact romantically with my other partner(s).
    • Females – 4%
    • Males – 2%
    • Poly Enculturated – 4%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 9%
    • Gay Men – 10%
    • Bisexual Women – 3%
  • 40. My dream/current reality is being part of a residential group marriage.
    • Females – 38%
    • Males – 49%
    • Poly Enculturated – 40%
    • Single Heterosexuals – 16%
    • Gay Men – 30%
    • Bisexual Women – 42%
  • 41. Conclusions
    • Poly – Enculturated and Bisexual Women have similar patterns regarding their views and practices re: jealousy, compersion and disclosure.
    • Males tend to be less jealous and more compersive than Females
    • Single Heterosexuals and Gay Men are the most jealous and the least transparent.
    • Group Marriage is not an ideal/goal for the majority of respondents.
  • 42. Observations
    • All practitioners seek to keep the good things they have while accessing more love, (sexual) intimacy and attention.
    • Those who are part of subcultures that embrace transparency and value compersion engage in these beliefs and behaviors as a means to retain all that they value.