How the Bough Bends: Users of Donated Gametes

How the Bough Bends: The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Gametes Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D. Presentation to the American Anthropological Association November 15, 2006

Who Uses Donated Gametes?

Single Mothers by Choice (SMCs

17% rise in babies born to 30-44 unmarried women between 1999-2003

Lesbian Couples

Families with Fertility Issues

donor sperm

donor eggs

donor embryos

The Gamete Donation Business

Sperm Banks

California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials of sperm to single women in 2005.

Egg Donor Agencies

$8,000 fees are typical

Surrogate Mothers

Gestational Surrogates

Research Methods

Participant Observation

Online Support Groups

Infertility Conferences

In-Person Support Groups

Interviews

Email Surveys

What Gamete Recipients Seek

Intelligence

Personality

Sperm Donors--sense of humor

Egg Donors--goals

Genetics

Phenotype Matches

Open vs Anonymous

Full Legal Rights

Sperm Recipients vs Egg Recipients

Single Mothers by Choice

Body is Normal; Life is Abnormal

If Fertility Challenges; Life and Body both feel Abnormal

Mothers through Egg Donation

Life is Normal; Body is Abnormal and for some, Intensely Abnormal

Single Mother by Choice Profile

Late 20s through mid 40s

Highly Educated with Professional Career

Often Financially Secure

Fiercely Independent

Family Revolutionaries

Clear distinction between themselves and women who become single mothers through divorce or by accident

Biotime Clock Pressure

Baby First; Marriage Maybe

SMC Process (part I) Thinking

No more time to wait for Mr. Right

Implications of an SMC Identity

Networking/Support Groups

Finances

Personal Support System

Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream of Parenting with a Beloved Husband

I’ve faced that I’m not going to have this picket-fence-y life…now I have permission to directly pursue what I want. It’s a very curious and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather not be single. It’s not my first choice. TTC Choice Mother

SMC Process (part II) (Separation)

Trying to Conceive (TTC)

Scheduled Inseminations

2 week wait

Fertility Boosters

IUI, IVF, hormone regimens

Many were unaware how fragile female fertility is

Deciding on a Donor

Anonymous vs. Open

Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself

Sperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement

When it came to donor selection, I found it almost as difficult as selecting a husband, but was thankfully more successful at it. It was a fascinating process in that the package of traits I focussed on were different from those I looked at on a date or in a relationship. Choice Mother of a one year old child

My very first consideration for choosing a donor was that he be “open” or willing to meet my child after he or she turns 18…. Intelligence was a huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own identity wrapped up in intelligence and really want the same for my child. TTC Choice Mother

I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I realized that there was not an unlimited catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I went with intelligence and personality. Choice Mother of two children

SMC Process (part III) (liminal phase)

Pregnancy

Fear

Begin incorporating New Identity

Start Building Support System

Social, Physical, Emotional

May Stop Dating

Shift in expectations from relationships with men

SMC Process (part IV) (re-incorporation)

Birth

Parenting

Allomothers and Daddies

Support Systems

Blood Family

Other SMCs

Extended Family via Donor Sibling Registry

Networks can be akin to a polygynous family without the financial support or physical presence of the progenitor/father.

Its exceptionally important that my son know other children who are “like him” so that he does not feel like an anomaly. I have found that having a child on my own has made him something of a community baby….unlike married couples who want/expect privacy on these issues. Choice Mother of a one year old child

Egg Recipient Profile

Married/Nuclear Family

some SMCs

30s-early 50s

Fertility Problems

often age-related

unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments

Very much want children OR siblings for their birth children

Egg Recipient Process (part I)

Thinking

Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?

Costs? Very Expensive

Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage

Tell Others? Keep Secret?

Compare to Adoption

More control over prenatal environment

Health Considerations

for both mother and babies

Egg Recipient Process (part II) (separation)

Trying to Conceive

Selecting a Donor

Protocols

Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cycles

IVF process for donor

Uterine prep process for recipient

Transfer

2 week wait

Most Important Egg Donor Qualities

Desired Egg Donor Qualities

Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who blended well with us…they didn’t have to match me! I had no interest in telling the general public about our infertility issues… It all worked out in the end, I went with my gut and I wasn’t wrong. DE Mother

One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo. She had an expression that could have been me in college. She didn’t look like me. She was no clone. But something in that expression spoke to me. DE Mother of two children

We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge. She seemed to love life Expectant DE Mother

Egg Recipient Process (part III) (liminal phase)