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Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts
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Successful Negotiating: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts

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Dr. Jim Anderson presents "Successful Negotiating Using The Seduction Method: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts". …

Dr. Jim Anderson presents "Successful Negotiating Using The Seduction Method: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts".

This presentation shows how the same set of skills that can be used for seduction can also be used to improve your negotiating skills. Dr. Anderson shows how to use the set of skills that you would use to start a seduction to prepare for a negotiation.

He covers what negotiating style will work for you, what information you need to gather, the power of a deal book, identify interests, identify emotions, creating goals that drive needs which in turn drive strategy.

In order to be a successful negotiator, you need to be able to enter into your next negotiation well prepared to quickly reach a deal that works for both sides of the table. Dr. Anderson shows the steps that you need to go through in order to make sure that you'll always be ready to keep the negotiation moving forward.

For more information on Dr. Jim Anderson and the information contained in this presentation, visit the web site www.BlueElephantConsulting.com

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  • Started my career at BoeingI was shown how to negotiate by tough old guys who had been doing it forever: “here’s how you beat the vendor down to get the lowest price”This technique worked great until I left Boeing and went to work for a small startup. All of a sudden vendors didn’t need my business. I stopped making deals.When you enter into a negotiation, what style do you adopt:Take no prisoners?Black Belt – defeat them by using their position against them?Both approaches are the ways that we are traditionally taught to negotiate.The problem with both of these is that they view negotiation as being like a sport: there will be a winner and there will be a loser.Real life is actually much more complicated.Often times a negotiation is just the start of a relationship with the other side of the table. You’ll be dealing with and negotiating with them many more times.If you “win” a negotiation or if you “beat them”, then how do you think they are going to view you the next time that you sit down to negotiate with them?There’s got to be a better way…
  • When I was unable to make deals at the startup, I looked for what I was doing wrong.It dawned on me that my job sucked as much as my dating life. That’s when I realized that I wanted to be as successful as my roommate. I then realized something else…Negotiation and seduction both involve trying to get the other person to do something that you want them to do.Seduction is all about getting the other person to WANT to do what you want them to do. Seduction is a set of steps that will build a very special relationship between you and the other person. Because of the time that you’ve invested in seducing them, they will be willing to do almost anything that you ask them to do.It is possible to seduce a person, a department, a company, and in fact an entire country. If you learn how to apply seduction skills to your next negotiation, then the other side of the table will fall under your spell and you’ll be able to not only reach a good deal, but they’ll be eager to come back to the table and negotiate with you again in the future.I use my seduction skills in every negotiation that I’m involved in and I reach better deals quicker, the other side follows through, and they want to negotiate again.
  • When you and I engage in a negotiation, it generally unfolds like a 7-step process.We don’t always start at the beginning and move to the end in a straight line, we can often take two steps backwards and restart a part of the process.Inexperienced negotiators view a negotiation as being a sort of a race – the goal is to see who can get to the end first. Experienced negotiators view a negotiation as what it is: a process. Each part of the process plays a step in helping you to create a deal that will meet the needs of both sides of the table. It turns out that you can directly map the 4-step seduction process to this negotiating process.The first phase of the seduction process maps to the first part of the negotiating process. Preparing your target to be seduced involves many of the same steps that we go through when preparing for a negotiation.The second phase of the seduction process has to do with making your target become dependent on you. This correlates with the parts of the negotiating process in which you take the time to determine how you will connect with the other side and what kind of offer you’ll be able to make to them that will meet their needs.There are two more phases to the seduction process that map to the rest of the negotiating process, but we’ll have to save those for another day…
  • Your victims live in their own worlds, their minds occupied with anxieties and daily concerns. Your goal in this initial phase is to slowly separate them from that closed world and fill their minds with thoughts of you. Once you have decided whom to seduce (1: Choose the right victim), your first task is to get your victims' attention, to stir interest in you. For those who might be more resistant or difficult, you should try a slower and more insidious approach, first winning their friendship (2: Create a false sense of security—approach indirectly); for those who are bored and less difficult to reach, a more dramatic approach will work, either fascinating them with a mysterious presence (3: Send mixed signals) or seeming to be someone who is coveted and fought over by others (4: Appear to be an object of desire). Once the victim is properly intrigued, you need to transform their interest into something stronger—desire. Desire is generally preceded by feelings of emptiness, of something missing inside that needs fulfillment. You must deliberately instill such feelings, make your victims aware of the adventure and romance that are lacking in their lives (5: Create a need—stir anxiety and discontent
  • Everything depends on the target of your seduction. Study your prey thoroughly, and choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or at least somewhat unhappy (perhaps because of recent adverse circumstances), or can easily be made so—for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce.The perfect victim has some natural quality that attracts you. The strong emotions this quality inspires will help make your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase.
  • Determine if what you want is even available. Not understanding the elements of a deal makes you vulnerable to one who knows what is at stake. If you aren't aware of what you want, you won't know if something is inappropriate or even when to stop. Define where you are heading first.Don't waste your time: Also, be clear that where you are spending your time and effort is a good investment. Most of us don't have the time to chase down paths that are not fruitful. We don't have the time to waste on solutions that don't produce the required results.Change our mindset from thinking only about what we want to giving careful thought to what the other side may want too. To achieve this, we must anticipate their true need to the extent possible before the negotiation, by putting ourselves in their shoes and thinking about what would be important to us if we were them. Make sure that your distinguish between true needs and demands.Consider some potential solutions theat could conceivable meet both our needs and theirs too. Entering into a negotiation already with an idea of the needs of both sides and some possible ways to meet those needs will allow you to project confidence and optimism.You determine your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA, what you would get if you walked away from the negotiation), set your target, and then attempt to assess your counterpart's target and BATNA.
  • Know the other parties’ needs & interestsKnow the available resources of the other partiesKnow the ability and authority of the other party to make agreementsKnow the strategies & tactics the other party might utilizeUnderstand when the other party might walk away from the negotiationsIf you know who your negotiating counterparts will be, it's useful to determine what authority they will have, and to match your authority to your opponent's.Be crystal clear: Knowing what you want to achieve is the first step in achieving it. Once you achieve your goal, you can feel comfortable with quitting. Unfortunately, many people don't do the simple act of writing out their desired outcome. If you don't know what your goal is in a negotiation, how do you know if you're getting close to reaching it?Know your desired result and the reasons supporting it: If asked what you are trying to achieve, you should be able to list not only the desired end result but reasons supporting why you want that goal.Story: JP Morgan and Cornelius Vanderbilt (the richest man in the world) were on a luxury liner crossing the Atlantic. Vanderbilt mentioned that he wanted to dispose of some Iron properties in Michigan. Morgan offered $60M and the offer was accepted. Later Morgan joked that he would have paid $80M. Vanderbilt joked that he would have accepted $40M. Neither great man did a good job of planning.
  • In 51 B.C. the Egyptian throne passed to 18-year-old Cleopatra and her 10-year-old brother.Cleopatra had to wed her brother and co-ruler due to Egyptian law, which called for any female ruler to have a consort who was either a brother or son. Ptolemy XII was only twelve at the time and Cleopatra took full advantage of the age difference and situation she had been thrust into. Cleopatra dropped Ptolemy XIII name from all administrative documents and she had her own portrait and name placed on legal tender, ignoring her brother’s claim of co-regent.For three years, Cleopatra ruled alone until her brother’s advisors led by Pothinus began conspiring against her. In 48 B.C. they removed Cleopatra from power and she was forced into exile in Syria in 49 B.C.
  • If you are too direct early on, you risk stirring up a resistance that will never be lowered. At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the edges of your target's life—approach through a third party, or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Arrange an occasional "chance" encounter, as if you and your target were destined to become acquainted—nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike.
  • A negotiation comes down to people dealing with people.If you know the people and their motivations, and you can assume that they know little about you then you are better equipped to succeed.Check with other people who have dealt with the other side.Get on the phone and ask someone you know “What can you tell me?” Can I trust him? What approach works with him?Check the Internet, the Bar Association, the Better Business BureauOther parties in the negotiationPeople who report to the decision makerHow does he make decisions? Move fast/slow? Need to get approval?What Do They Want? Obviously they want something from you, or you wouldn’t be negotiating in the first place. Do they want the product you’re selling? Or do they want a cheaper alternative to a service they already get from somewhere else?
  • If I can leave you with one piece of new knowledge from our time together today, then let this be it: before you start preparing for your next negotiation, you need to create a “deal book”.Every successful negotiator has one of these and it’s something that separates the pros from the amateurs when it comes to negotiating.Conducing a successful negotiation is very similar to trying to keep a number of plates spinning on the ends of poles at the same time.The deal book is your ticket to negotiating success.
  • She raised an army of mercenaries and returned the following year to face her brother's forces at Pelusium, on Egypt's eastern border. Meanwhile, after allowing the Roman general Pompey to be murdered, Ptolemy XIII welcomed the arrival of Pompey's rival, Julius Caesar, to Alexandria. In order to help her cause, Cleopatra sought Caesar's support,
  • Once people are aware of your presence, and perhaps vaguely intrigued, you need to stir their interest before it settles on someone else. What is obvious and striking may attract their attention at first, but that attention is often short-lived; in the long run, ambiguity is much more potent. Most of us are much too obvious—instead, be hard to figure out. Send mixed signals:both tough and tender, both spiritual and earthy, both innocent and cunning. A mix of qualities suggests depth, which fascinates even as it confuses. An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle. Create such a power by hinting at something contradictory within you.
  • Skilled negotiators must elicit information regarding the other side’s interests – both mutual and divergentUtilize self-disclosure to encourage opennessShare a story of a previous negotiationPlace interests in continuum from mutual-to-divergentWhen interests are mutual, cooperative or integrative negotiation is likelyWhen interests are divergent, antagonistic, distributive forms of negotiation emergeMultimillionaire had twin sons: one an optimist, the other a pessimist. He wanted to make the optimist a little more of a pessimist and the pessimist a bit more of an optimist. On birthday he bought pessimist a $5,000 Japanese racing bike. For the optimist he had two truckload of horse poo dumped in his play room.The pessimist complained about the bike: I’ll probably fall off of it and break my leg. Or I’ll go the playground and the other kids will beat me up and take my bike.The optimist was on top of the pile of poo throwing poo all around the room singing. “With all this poo, there must be a pony in here somewhere”.
  • Individuals may become emotionally involved with issues or positionsHot buttonsPast experiencesCurrent events in their companyEmotions may be as important as rational or cognitive argumentsHard to see beyond the emotionsEmotions may change how they view your offersIf emotions are ignored, negotiations may failYou need to talk with the other side before formal negotiations beginIdentify possible hot buttons and bring them up during casual discussions in order to see what kind of reaction they provoke.Example: During a negotiation a member of my team mentioned that we were able to keep our prices lower than the competition because our workers were located offshore. The other side’s demeanor toward us changed and the deal never happened. Their company philosophy was “Made in the U.S.A.”
  • Snuck into see Caesar hidden in a rug
  • A perfectly satisfied person cannot be seduced. Tension and disharmony must be planted in your targets' minds. Stir within them feelings of discontent, an unhappiness with their circumstances and with themselves: their life lacks adventure, they have strayed from the ideals of their youth, they have become boring.The feelings of inadequacy that you create will give you space to insinuate yourself, to make them see you as the answer to their problems. Pain and anxiety are the proper precursors to pleasure. Learn to manufacture the need that you can fill.
  • Determining goals is the first step in the negotiation processNegotiators should specify goals and objectives clearlyThe goals set have direct and indirect effects on the negotiator’s strategyStory: Once upon a time, a very wise man traveled to a village seeking to become a better marksman. He asked who the best shot was and the townspeople told him the Village Idiot. Doesn't say much – doesn’t learn much. Competition. Hits all 6 shots in center of target. Put up a target with 6 shots already in the center.Negotiators often adjust the results of our negotiations to fit the results that we achieve. Because we didn’t start out with goals to drive our needs, we’re willing to live with whatever we end up with. We’ll just move the target to make it look like we knew what we were doing.
  • Direct effectsWishes are not goalsGoals are often linked to other party’s goalsThere are limits to what goals can beEffective goals must be concrete / specificIndirect effectsForging an ongoing relationshipStory: Chemical company in the midwest tried a marketing experiment.Told salespeople in Chicago that the asking price for a given chemical was $1.00 / pound. They should try to get 98 cents if they couldn’t get $1.00 , but under no circumstances were they to close at less than 95 cents/pound.In Cleveland they told their sales teams the same thing except they told them not to close at less than 96 cents / pound.Most sales in Chicago closed at 95 cents/pound, most sales in Cleveland closed at 96 cents/pound.The targets that we set have a lot to do with the negotiating results that we achieve
  • Convinced Caesar to take up Alexander’s missionFirst step would be to conquer Egypt
  • Becoming a good negotiator is something that we can all do.The key to improving your negotiating skills is to find the right training program and the right instructor for you.You have in your hands some information on a negotiation training skills program that I’m going to be introducing in May. If you like the material that I’ve presented here today and if you’re interested in just what is covered in Seduction Phase 3 and Phase 4, then visit the web site and sign up to get more information.
  • Transcript

    • 1. Space is limited in order to permit focused learning. Get on the mailing list so that you can get all the details: http://www.TheAccidentalNegotiator.com/seduction Successful Negotiating Using The Seduction Method: Preparing For Your Next Negotiation - Win It Before It Starts The Dr. Jim AndersonS eduction Methodof Negotiating Online Training Course © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 2. What’s Your Negotiating Style? © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 3. How Negotiating And Seducing Are Similar… The S eduction MethodNegotiating Seduction• From the Latin term for “business” • From the Latin term for “to lead astray”• Involves wants, desires and goals • Involves wants, desires and goals• Involves more than one person • Involves more than one person• One side wants what the other side has • One side wants what the other side has• Power can be transferred • Power can be transferred• May involve the use of tactics • May involve the use of tactics• Primarily performed through talking • Primarily performed through talking• May create resentment in both sides • Leaves at least one side in love © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 4. Key Steps To An Ideal Negotiation Process Seduction Seduction Seduction Seduction Phase 1: Phase 2: Phase 3: Phase 4:Separation Lead Astray The Precipice The Kill Phase 2: Phase 3: Phase 4: Phase 6: Phase 7:Phase 1: Phase 5: Implementing Relationship Information Information Closing thePreparation Bidding Building Gathering Using the Deal Agreement © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 5. The Seductive Process: Phase 1 -- Separation1. Choose the right victim2. Create a false sense of security3. Send mixed signals4. Appear to be an object of desire5. Create a need © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 6. Seduction: Choose The Right Victim © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 7. Create A Negotiation Game Plan It’s important to be prepared for any situation – competitive or cooperative 3 Steps To Prepare For A Negotiation Identify Develop Organize Ideal Contingencies &Your Thoughts Outcomes BATNA © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 8. Choose The Information That You’ll Need 1. What do I want? 2. Why do I want it? 3. Is it worth it?© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 9. Cleopatra© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 10. Seduction: False Security© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 11. Gather The Intelligence That You’ll Need To Befriend The Other Side• Interests• Concerns• What Do they Want? © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 12. Friends Keep Their Gathered Information In A Deal Book• The key to creating a truly effective deal book is taking careful notes on everything: – Writing down your plans for the negotiation – Telephone numbers and addresses – Every scrap of pertinent information• Everything that you need for this particular deal is on one place• The more complete your deal book, the more powerful you will be as a negotiator © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 13. Cleopatra© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 14. Seduction: Send Mixed Signals © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 15. Sort Out The Mixed Signals: Identify Interests • Mutual • Divergent • Self-Disclosure© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 16. Identify Emotions So That You Know What Signals To Send • Emotionally involved • Arguments • Negotiations may fail © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 17. Cleopatra© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 18. Seduction: Create A Need© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 19. Create Goals – The Needs That Drives Negotiation Strategy • Determine • Be Clear • Effect © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 20. Needs Drive Goals Which Drive Strategy • Wishes • Effective • Ongoing Relationships© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 21. Cleopatra© 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 22. … And There Is So Much More… Seduction Seduction Seduction Seduction Phase 1: Phase 2: Phase 3: Phase 4:Separation Lead Astray The Precipice The Kill Phase 2: Phase 3: Phase 4: Phase 6: Phase 7:Phase 1: Phase 5: Implementing Relationship Information Information Closing thePreparation Bidding Building Gathering Using the Deal Agreement The Online S eduction Method of Negotiating Training Course Space is limited in order to permit focused learning. Get on the mailing list so that you can get all the details: http://www.TheAccidentalNegotiator.com/seduction © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com
    • 23. Where Do I Go From Here? www.TheAccidentalNegotiator.com TheS eduction Methodof Negotiating Online Training Course www.BlueElephantConsulting.com / 813.418.697023 © 2012 Blue Elephant Consulting / www.BlueElephantConsulting.com

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