Why Do Men Stonewall? (and what you can do about it)

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Women work hard at their relationships. When something’s wrong, it’s the woman who notices it and wants to talk about it – to figure out what’s wrong and fix the problem. However, many men withdraw from such a conversation or simply fail to respond.

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Why Do Men Stonewall? (and what you can do about it)

  1. 1. www.DrDebiSmith.com Why Do Men Stonewall? ... and what you can do about it. The Psychology of Men & Romance Dr. Debi Smith PO Box 13154, Newport Beach, CA
  2. 2. www.DrDebiSmith.com Why Wont’ He Talk to Me? •  Does the man you love ... – withdraw and refuse to face issues? – have problems being open about things? – frequently misunderstand what you’re saying?
  3. 3. www.DrDebiSmith.com Our Beliefs About Men If you’re like many women, you probably believe that men … – are insensitive jerks – don’t have feelings like women do – are only interested in one thing –  just don’t get it
  4. 4. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Rule #1. Be a Sturdy Oak. •  No whimpering allowed. •  No crying allowed. •  No complaining allowed. •  No sign of weakness allowed.
  5. 5. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Rule #2. Give ‘em Hell. •  Encourages risk-taking behavior – macho – invincible – sometimes violent – high-energy – superman
  6. 6. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Rule #3. Be the Big Wheel. •  Dominate others •  Refuse to let anyone know that he actually feels – like a failure – like life is out of control
  7. 7. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Rule #4. No Sissy Stuff. •  gender straitjacket that prohibits boys from expressing feelings or urges seen (mistakenly) as feminine – dependence – warmth – empathy
  8. 8. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Read more about boys’ experience! Dr. William Pollack
  9. 9. www.DrDebiSmith.com The Boy Code Read more about boys’ experience! Dr. Debi Smith
  10. 10. www.DrDebiSmith.com What to do? •  Bring things up sooner rather than later. •  Realize your emotional impact on him. •  Give him time to think before he responds.
  11. 11. www.DrDebiSmith.com What to do? •  Realize that men don’t operate on the same principles women do. – Don’t think like us. – Aren’t affected by the same things. – Don’t act like we do. – Don’t experience the world the same way we do.
  12. 12. www.DrDebiSmith.com Additional Information •  Free 30-Day eCourse – www.WhyWontHeTalkToMe.com •  eBook – www.DrDebiSmith.com/books.html – Download for Kindle, Nook, Apple iBooks • Dance With Me A Hopeful Romantic Interprets Ephesians 5

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