Dance With MeQuiz 1: How well are you doing as a couple? Dr. Debi Smith, Clinical Psychologist www.OCChristianCouples.com 800.705.6223
How well are you doing as a couple?Adapted from the book by J. Gottman: Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work
This quiz, based on findings of marital research, can help you get an idea of how well you are doing in some vital areas of your relationship.
Question 1• My partner Frequently criticizes me or puts me down. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 2• I don’t feel like my partner and I are on the same team. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 3• Our disagreements often turn into ugly fights. Agree = 1 pointDisagree = 0 points
Question 4• I avoid telling my partner what I really think and/or feel. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 5• My partner tends to take things the wrong way. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 6• I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to date or marry someone else. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 7• When we argue, one of us doesn’t want to talk about it anymore and walks away. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
Question 8• I often feel lonely in this relationship. Agree = 1 point Disagree = 0 points
How did you do? The highest possible score = 8Most couples would say “yes” to some of these questions some of the time.
How did you do?However, a persistent pattern of “yes” answersmay be a warning sign that you and your partnercould use some outside help to get yourrelationship back on track.
Finding Help• Look for a licensed counselor who has specialized training in working with couples.• If you are a Christian, you may want to find someone who shares your faith.
Finding Help• Schedule an appointment so you can both meet the counselor in person.• Make sure you both feel comfortable with your choice.
Finding Help• Most communication problems result from misunderstandings.• Misunderstandings are often related to differences in how men and women use and understand language.
Enjoying the Romance of Ephesians 5• Men – Despite popular opinion, women are simple. – And you can learn to “decode” your woman …• Ladies – Yes, your relationship can improve. – Learn what your man needs from you that he will never say out loud …
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ~ Ephesians 5:21• This passage applies to the body of believers in fellowship with one another, so it naturally applies to husbands and wives as well.• However, just how husbands and wives are to submit to one another is easily misunderstood in our current culture.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ~ Ephesians 5:21• That’s what Dance With Me is all about – learning what submission looks like in the 21st Century.• In this book, Dr. Debi Smith teaches couples how to pay attention to one another’s needs and how to be responsive to one another in light of his/her unique design and purpose.
For more information …Please visit our website at www.OCChristianCounseling.com
Thanks for taking the Quiz!And thank you for investing in the future of America by supporting one another! You’re the Best!
Dance With MeRelationship Workshops Dr. Debi Smith Fred Judkins Clinical Psychologist Dance Leader