Bullys Toppling The Tyrants

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In many industries we are challenged with Bully\'s. In this session we have outlined many characteristics to identify the behavior. The powerpoint is a shortened version and all of the solutions to …

In many industries we are challenged with Bully\'s. In this session we have outlined many characteristics to identify the behavior. The powerpoint is a shortened version and all of the solutions to Topple the Tyrants have been removed for the sack of getting the PPT posted.
For additional information on this seminar, please e-mail me at donna@donnahickey.com

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  • Bullying is never been a good news to all, it is just a kind of issue which is very unacceptable and could only ruin someone's life. Since technology is fast rising why not not take advantage on it? There is a latest innovation discovered by SafeKidZone, it is where we can used our cellphone in saving lives. They have this application called panic button which can be easily downloaded to all smart phone. You can also check out for your own http://safekidzone.com/
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  • 1. www.donnahickey.com
  • 2. Definition Bulling at work is the repeated, malicious, health-endangering mistreatment of a person by one or more bullies. The mistreatment is psychological violence , a mix of verbal and strategic assaults to prevent the person from performing work or contracting work. The bully puts her or his personal agenda of controlling other human beings above the needs of the company or association. The control is deliberate humiliation and or withholding information or resources. It always begins with aggression, but soon escalates as the bully engulfs others in the hatred campaign directed against the “target” www.donnahickey.com
  • 3. Understanding Bullyspeak
    • Female is the preferred gender
    • Less than 30% of men are an intended target
    • Minority, older and disable can also be targets of bulling
    • We consider the “target” the employee or the person who is targeted from the bully.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 4. Bully’s are to lazy to acquire the insight about their personal list of deficiencies, their lack of self-esteem. www.donnahickey.com
  • 5. Bullyspeak Bullies select people to harm. Targets, be sure not to claim “victim” status Victimhood begets powerlessness, helplessness, and an inability to change matters for the better. Bullies try to rally others in pursuit of power and control over the target. Bully proofing is about reclaiming dignity and self-respect. www.donnahickey.com
  • 6. Bullies Are Liars and Cowards ! www.donnahickey.com
  • 7. Bullyspeak B ullying involves abuse of power. Cheerleaders for corporate competition are quick to denigrate victims as deserving their fate. Bullying “generalized workplace abuse,” was 4 times more prevalent than sexual harassment. (University of Illinois at Chicago). Schoolyard Bullying – the torment of one child by another – this is often compared to workplace or industry bullying. Both types share common underlying principals - the desperate grab for control by insecure inadequate person, the exercise of power through the humiliation of the intended target. www.donnahickey.com
  • 8. How to Identify a Bully Bullying threatens the economic livelihood of the intended target, when a bully decides to “untrack” a career it will take a short time to unhinge a family’s income. Spotting bullyspeak would be something like this. “ if you want to know about someone before you hire them” Just ask me, I know everybody … I can tell you a thing or two about that person. … is the message from the person positive or negative, obsessive, compulsive, driven? When the bully spreads malicious gossip and bands a herd of people to believe the lie they spoke of or spread. “ a trust me, I know ” statement. Don’t’ forget a bully is cunning, silence or “sins of omission” are just as devastating. Have you ever asked yourself, why someone would bully and spread negative gossip …. What’s in it for them???? Think - Think www.donnahickey.com
  • 9. Bully’s pretend that they really know someone better than anyone else so that people believe what they are saying as truth and gospel. What have you blindly believed about someone that you have never met? Who have you turned your back on or restricted business opportunities because you blindly believed the bully’s opinion over your own investigation? Has Barack Obama blindly believed what others tell him or has he gotten his hands into the business to find out for himself? www.donnahickey.com
  • 10. What is the Difference between Workplace Violence and Bullying 11% www.donnahickey.com
  • 11. Severity of Damage Scale – Physical violence appears at the high end, score 10 Bullying Rudeness “ incivility” 1 3 Violence 10 www.donnahickey.com
  • 12. Bullying is estimated to affect one in six workers in the U.S. workforce. (A Year 2000 Scientific Survey of Michigan Residents; Keashly) www.donnahickey.com
  • 13. The most important difference between workplace violence and bullying is that the latter is a daily occurrence. www.donnahickey.com
  • 14. Bullying is a serious threat to:
    • Freedom from fear and trauma
    • Development of work
    • Building of relationships
    • A victim of salacious gossip
    • Employee health and safety
    • Civil rights in the workplace
    • Dignity at work
    • Personal self-respect
    • Family cohesion and stability
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 15. Bullying Is A Multi-faceted Problem Which Requires Multi-disciplinary Solutions:
    • Behavioral And Organizational Researchers
    • Medicine
    • Mental Health Practitioners
    • Legal Resources
    • Employee Advocates
    • Dispute – Resolution Specialists
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 16. www.disgruntled.com Conquering a bully is an uphill battle for sure, in our media saturated world , messages for and about regular workers are rare. One former business reported was so frustrated by the fawning over self-appointed important pompous professionals he started an online magazine. He wrote a book about the affects of Bully’s, his book is called: Disgruntled, The Darker Side Of The World Of Work. Written by: Daniel Levine www.donnahickey.com
  • 17. www.donnahickey.com
  • 18. Understanding Bullies www.donnahickey.com
  • 19. What a Healthy Person Looks Like There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. ~ Nathaniel Branden www.donnahickey.com
  • 20. The Intended Target
    • The targeted individual is swept into the relationship.
    • The bully controls every aspect of the reign of terror – when to attack, when to hold back, the place, the audience.
    • Mutual benefit or gain is NOT the goal, control is, and the TARGET wants NONE of it.
    • The undermining, scheming bully’s tactics are so unwelcome, inappropriate, and underserved that in no way can the target be held responsible,
    • even partially responsible.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 21. Origins of Bullies
    • People arrive at bullyhood by at least three different paths:
        • Personality development
        • By reading cues in a competitive, political workplace
        • By accident
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 22. Chronic Bullies
      • Tries to dominate people in every encounter
      • Work
      • Away from work
      • Waitresses in restaurants
      • Retailers
      • Competition in the workplace
      • The bully justifies the behavior by saying “I can’t help it, it’s just who I am. Don’t like it? Leave.” Always believing that they do not have to change; the bully is the bully.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 23. Chronic Bullies
      • Their is a fear of failure to confront the deepest feelings of personal inadequacy, a feeling of self-loathing.
      • Was not raised to analyze self with a goal of self improvement.
      • The bully invents flaws in others (which are mirror images of the bully) then obsesses on the target and attaches them (the flaws) to her/him in order to make the bully feel good about themselves .
      • Bullies Are Inadequate, Defective, And Poorly Developed People
      • Targets Are Empathic, Just And Fair People
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 24. Types of Bullies
    • Opportunistic Bullies
    • Accidental Bullies
    • Substance Abuse Bullies
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 25. Bullies: Types, Tactics, and Tips for Handling WBTI research says … ** Washington Business and Technology Institute Top Ten Bullying Tactics
    • Blame for “errors”
    • Unreasonable job demands
    • Criticism of ability
    • Inconsistent with compliant of rules
    • Threatens job loss
    • Insults and put downs
    • Discounting and denial of other accomplishments
    • Exclusion “icing out”
    • Uncontrollable outbursts / unreasonable anger
    • Stealing credit while accusing others of stealing credit
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 26. Bullies Start all Conflict and Trouble Targets React !!! www.donnahickey.com
  • 27. When dealing with a bully, keep in mind that this is the way they think … Regardless of the list of tactics, a bully treats it’s target to reduce them into shame, humiliation, and to treat the intended target as though they are powerless. In the Bully’s mind, target are powerless. This distorted thinking is the only way bullies know how to survive the work world, always at someone else's expense. Listen, if all you do is spend your time talking negative about someone in particular without steps to mend or move away from a dysfunctional person or relationship … you are the bully you have a lack of self-esteem. Are you a bully? www.donnahickey.com
  • 28. The Ugly Faces of a Bully www.donnahickey.com
  • 29. Constant Critic
    • Put downs, insults, belittling comments, name-calling
    • Constant haranguing about the intended target incompetence.
    • Makes aggressive eye contact with the target, glaring at the target, but when the target speaks, the bully can not make eye contact.
    • Negatively reacts to the targets contributions. Talks insistently behind the back of the target to just about anyone who’ll listen.
    • Accuses the target of wrongdoing, blames target for fabricated errors ( doctored documents, compromised data base, fake witness accounts).
    • Applies disproportionate pressure, expects perfection
    • Sends signals of disrespect through over-confident
    • body language.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 30. Two-Headed Snake Passive – aggressive behavior; pretend to be nice to you while sabotaging you behind you back.
    • Ensures that the target does not have the resources to do the work.
    • Demands that friends and co-workers provide damning information to them regarding the target.
    • Discriminates against smokers
    • Discriminates against non-smokers
    • Assigns “meaningless” tasks as punishments
    • Makes, nasty, rude, mean comments to anyone who’ll listen regarding the intended target.
    • Breaches confidentialities; shares private information.
    • Spreads defamatory information for sport, may even keep a secret file on the target.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 31. Gate Keepers Most transparent of the controllers, she needs to establish herself as ”one up” on you.
    • Deliberately cuts the target out of communication.
    • Refuses to make “reasonable accommodations for a returning worker.
    • Refuses to follow internal policies that protect the target.
    • Denies privileges and rights.
    • Ignores the target “silent treatment.”
    • Makes up rules on a whim.
    • Fusses with “real “ time clocks and makes the target late for work.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 32. Screaming Mimi Bully Stereotypical , but statically rare.
    • Yells, screams curses.
    • Barks out : I’m the BOSS and Do what I Tell YOU !!!!
    • Poisons workplace with anger, outbursts, tantrums.
    • Intimidates through gestures; finger pointing, slams things down, throws objects.
    • Constantly interrupts the target at meetings and in front of people.
    • Discounts and denies target thoughts and feelings.
    • Threatens the target job.
    • Traps the target by saying complaints have to “go up the chain”, starting with her/him.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 33. Target Types WBTI Research Says … Targets are Everywoman, Everyman
    • 21 % of the target held a graduate or professional degree.
    • 63% had some college or a college degree.
    • Employers were divided among the private sector business, large and small (50%), 33 % in government and 19% non-profit organizations.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 34.
    • No. 1 Reason for Being Bullied
    • Targets refuse to be subservient, to NOT go along with being controlled.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 35.
    • No. 2 Reason for Being Bullied
    • Bully envies the target’s superior competence.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 36.
    • No. 3 Reason for Being Bullied
    • Bully envies target’s social skills, being liked, positive attitude.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 37.
    • No. 4 Reason for Being Bullied
    • Ethical, whistleblower –type behavior.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 38. The Cost to Companies WBTI Research Says …
    • Top Health Consequences for Bullied Targets
    • Severe anxiety (94%)
    • Sleep disruption (84%)
    • Loss of concentration ( 82%)
    • Feeling edgy, easily startled (80%)
    • Obsession over Bully’s motives and tactics (76%)
    • Stress headaches ( 64%)
    • Avoidance of feelings (49%)
    • Racing heart rate (48%)
    • Diagnosed depression (41%)
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 39. Reference Materials: Harvey Hornstein, author of Brutal Bosses and Their Prey www.donnahickey.com
  • 40. WBTI Research Says … 81 percent of Bullies are Bosses, Managers/Supervisors/Owners of Businesses. www.donnahickey.com
  • 41.
    • TO THRIVE BULLIES REQUIRE
    • Secrecy
    • Shame
    • Silent Witnesses
    You can stop the bully by stop supporting the behavior. www.donnahickey.com
  • 42. WBTI Research Says … Bulling is “Status – Blind” Harassment
      • women were 50 percent of all bullies
      • Women bullies targeted other women 84 percent of the time
      • in 77 percent of cases, there could be no discrimination complaint because the target was not a member of a protected –status group.
    www.donnahickey.com
  • 43. BullyBusting Strategies: 8 Steps to Topple Tyrants www.donnahickey.com
  • 44. Moving On, Up or Out www.donnahickey.com