Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Talk to your Teens about
SEX!
Pastor Travis Waits
April 6, 2008
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Why have this class?
Parents are charged by God to be the
primary agents of change in their
ch...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Why have this class?
• Christians must be different:
• And you will again see the distinction
...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is
one. Love the LORD your God wi...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Underlying assumptions…
• Married Christians
should have the BEST
sex on the planet!
• Parents...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Discussion Overview
• Parents own sexual wholeness
• God’s purpose and design of sex.
• What i...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
• What did you learn about sex?
• Who first talked to you about sex?
• What were the values as...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
God’s purpose for Sex
• Procreation
– Genesis1:28
– Deut 7:13,14
• Pleasure & Release
– Song o...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
I Now Pronounce you Man &
Wife
““For this reason a man will leave his father andFor this reaso...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
God’s view of Sex
• Meant for Marriage:
– Sex consummates marriage vows
– To know your spouse ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Are you sexually healthy?
• Parents must discuss
their own marital
sexuality, prior to
discuss...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Clue in on your beliefs about
sex
– What gets me most upset in
bed?
– What most fulfills me
se...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Proverbs 5:15-23
Drink water from your own cistern, running water from
your own well. Should y...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Malachi 4:5,6
See, I will send you the prophet Elijah
before that great and dreadful day of
th...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
NIV Terms & Uses
• “Sex” (2): “have sex with”
• “Sexual” (47): in OT as galah, or “have sexual...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
What’s Not Okay in Bed?
Fornication (pornea): sex outside of marriage
1 Cor. 7:2; 1 Thess. 4:3...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
What is OK in bed?
• The marriage bed is sacred!
“The man and his wife were both naked, and th...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Sexuality refers to four aspects:
•Natal Sex: the physical or biological factors at
birth that...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Defining Terms
• Sexual Intercourse: n.
1. Coitus between humans.
2. Sexual union between huma...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Based on this definition, “having sex” can
refer to either one (or both) of the following
acti...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Duringthe1950sand1960s,WilliamH.MastersandVirginiaE.Johnsonconductedmanyimportantstudies
withi...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Sexual Arousal Cycle
ResolutionResolution
PlateauPlateau
Desire PhaseDesire Phase
OrgasmOrgasm...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Male Reproductive System
• Cowper's Glands: These two glands provide a clear thick fluid that ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Sexual Development of Boys
Stage 1: May begin as early as age 9 and continue until 14.
• No si...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Female Reproductive System
Cervix: The lower part of the uterus that opens into the vagina. Th...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Sexual Development of Girls
Stage 1: Between ages 8 to 12 .
・ No visible signs of physical dev...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
We are wired for sex!
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Sexual arousal is triggered by any
signal that we consider erotic.
Hearing, seeing, smelling, ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
The neurophysiology of sex
Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
“See, the
problem is that
God gives men
a brain and a
penis, and only
enough blood
to run one ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Primary Neuro-chemicals
• Estrogens & Androgens:
Creates libido; lust; the drive to
procreate
...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Your brain on sex
• Sexual behaviors cause neural activity –
neural activity reinforces sexual...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Fantasy
• Sexual fantasy increases the transmission
of Dopamine, Serotonin, and
Norepinephrin....
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Arousal
• Sexual arousal increases the transmission of
dopamine and epinephrine.
• Associated ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Climax / Satiation
• Sexual climax involves the transmission of
endorphins, GABA, prolactin, a...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
The ebb and flow of libido and mood
• Higher levels of dopamine and serotonin, epinephrine, an...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Oxytocin
• Produced by engaging in loving, altruistic and
care giving activities
• Promotes bo...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Hormone’s
• In males, testosterone levels remain generally
above the threshold required for se...
Why the brain/physiology
stuff matters…
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
What’s Going On Out
There?
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
•One-third of high school students say they've had sex by the time they are in
ninth grade (ar...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
There is a reaction against
‘abstinence only’ education, in
favor of ‘comprehensive sex-ed’.
R...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Free Will
• “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Ch...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
STD AWARENESS MONTH
Messages
• Approximately 19 million new STD infections occur each year in ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
One in Four Female Adolescents Is Infected with At Least One
Sexually Transmitted Infection, N...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Did you know?
Over half of all STD’s
reported in the US are in
those age 24 or
younger?
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Safe sex or Safer sex?
STD’s are spread in three ways:
• Sex: This includes vaginal, anal, and...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Pam
Stenzel
video
clip…
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Some BACTERIAL STDs:
• Chlamydia: serious long-term consequences of the disease, which include...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Some VIRAL STDs:
• Herpes
• Genital Warts
• HPV human pampilovial virus
• HIV/AIDS
These types...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Miss-information campaign
“the everyone’s doing it crowd”
• STD’s are normal and not bad.
– Se...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Behaviors that INCREASE your
risk for becoming infected with an
STD include:
• Unprotected sex...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
To REDUCE your risk for
becoming your infected with an
STD:
• If you’re sexually active, use a...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Behaviors that present NO
RISK for STD infection include:
• Using a public toilet
• Getting a ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Signs and symptoms of STDs
may include:
• Painful or painless sores in the
vaginal, oral, or a...
Most people with STDs have
NO SYMPTOMS
Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stda...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
All STDs are treatable.
Some STDs are curable.
Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://w...
Most STDs are for LIFE
Some STDs are treatable
The Truth is…
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
How can you stay healthy?
• Don’t have sex.
• If you have sex, use a latex condom
every time.
...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
The American Social Health Association
strongly believes that sexuality education
begins at ho...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Some Truth…
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are a public health crisis in
the U.S. Each y...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
There's another fact about sex you should
know -and that's that oral sex is now more
common th...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
In addition to overall STI prevalence, key findings of the new
study include the following:
• ...
Our Tax Dollars at work..
CDC supports a comprehensive approach to
STD prevention that includes the promotion of
abstinenc...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
National Survey of Family
Growth…
“…age 5 is
the new first
exposure to
pornography
common
toda...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Suggestions on ‘how to’
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
What ‘to do’…
• Engage in a lifetime conversation with
intention, and teachable moments.
• Be ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Unlike programs or classes, parents are a source of
information that is always close at hand f...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Teens want to hear from their parents
• Pre-teens are ready for sex information from
parents (...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Parent-child communication about sex has been
shown to encourage:
• A later age for first sexu...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Relationship between parent-child
communication and risk-taking behavior
Research has examined...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Findings from this research
suggest addressing three important
areas:
• comprehensive messages...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Relationship between parent-child
communication and risk-taking behavior
• More comprehensive ...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Relationship between parent-child communication
and risk-taking behavior
• Parent-adolescent d...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Relationship between parent-child
communication and risk-taking behavior
• Peer norms were ass...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Relationship between parent-child
communication and risk-taking behavior
• Parent-adolescent c...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Parents influence adolescent behavior by providing
structure and support for their children an...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
You don’t really want friends or television or music videos or
the internet teaching your son ...
The W.I.S.E. Way to Raise Kids…
http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/wise/wise.html
"W" is for Welcome
No one enjoys dinn...
"I" is for Interest. Show your
interest by asking questions in a
comfortable way.
Adults generally introduce topics gently...
"S" is for Support Good Goals.
When your son or daughter has goals for the
future, he or she is more likely to make good
c...
"E" is for Encourage, Educate,
Empower and Expect.
Educate and encourage your son or daughter to
make healthy decisions. W...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Here are some suggestions for how to
bring up tough topics:
• Start with a general question or...
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Most importantly, listen carefully to
your son or daughter
Help your child to develop the
valu...
Unconditional
Involvement
&
Uncompromising
“I’m here,
I hear you,
I understand,
I care”
-Daniel Sweeney, Ph.D
Copyright Travis Waits 2008
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is
one. Love the LORD your God wi...
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  • Prov. 5:18,19: “Let your foundation be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” ENRAPTURED literally means INTOXICATED
  • No SHAME
  • Adam “knew” his wife
    – one person for a lifetime proves to be the best sex
  • Let’s move into the bedroom
    Desire phase – mind & body are contemplating
    Arousal phase – men have erection & women become
  • A boy goes through five stages of development during puberty.Boys usually start to show the physical changes of puberty between the ages of 11 and 14, which is slightly older than when girls start puberty. The male sex hormone called testosterone and other hormones cause the physical changes.Here are the five stages and what happens:
  • Female's reproductive organs are mostly inside the body, in the pelvis. The pelvic girdle, a ring of bone shaped like a basin, surrounds them. Here is a list of the female reproductive organs.
  • Girls go through five stages of development during puberty.Girls usually start to show the physical changes of puberty between the ages of 9 and 13, which is slightly sooner than boys. The female sex hormone called estrogen and other hormones cause the physical changes.Many girls are fully developed by the age of 16. Some girls will continue to develop through age 18.Here are the five stages and what happens: http://www.4parents.gov/sexdevt/girlswomen/girls_sexdevt/index.html
  • This is your largest and most important sex organ.
  • Designed by God on purpose.
    What is OK in the bedroom?
    Masturbation?
  • http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/risks.asp
  • http://www.cdcnpin.com/stdawareness/STD%20Awareness%20Month%20Key%20Messages.pdf
  • 59. Mosher, William D., Anjani Chandra, and Jo Jones. Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15-44 Years of Age, United States, 2002. Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics. No. 362. Hyattsville, Maryland: National Center for Health Statistics. 2005.
    60. Mosher, William D., Anjani Chandra, and Jo Jones. Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15-44 Years of Age, United States, 2002. Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics. No. 362. Hyattsville, Maryland: National Center for Health Statistics. 2005.
    61. Mosher, William D., Anjani Chandra, and Jo Jones. Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15-44 Years of Age, United States, 2002. Advance Data from Vital and Health Statistics. No. 362. Hyattsville, Maryland: National Center for Health Statistics. 2005.
  • 5. Albert, Bill. America's Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy: An Annual Survey. Washington, DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2007.
    6. Albert, Bill. America's Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy: An Annual Survey. Washington, DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2004.
    7. Americaユs Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy: An Annual Survey. Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2003.
  • Anytime you need to talk to your son or daughter about important issues, you want to be prepared. Here are four tips that are easy to remember because they spell “wise.”
  • Download

    1. 1. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Talk to your Teens about SEX! Pastor Travis Waits April 6, 2008
    2. 2. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Why have this class? Parents are charged by God to be the primary agents of change in their children’s lives. This is both an equipping role, and protecting role as they seek to release them for adulthood, and teach them to obey everything God has commanded.
    3. 3. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Why have this class? • Christians must be different: • And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not. Malachi 3:17
    4. 4. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all our strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of you houses and on your gates.
    5. 5. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Underlying assumptions… • Married Christians should have the BEST sex on the planet! • Parents are the primary agents of change in their children’s lives. • Sex is a holistic expression of God’s intimate love for us. • The purpose of sex is procreation, promoting bonding, pleasure, and protection. • Sexual health affects the whole family. • We must script what ‘to do’ not just ‘what not to do’. All truth is God’s Truth
    6. 6. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Discussion Overview • Parents own sexual wholeness • God’s purpose and design of sex. • What is sex? – Anatomy & physiology • Current adolescent sexual trends. • Specific concerns – Sexually Transmitted Disease’s (STD’s) – Abstinence education vs. comprehensive sex ed – Technology, media, safeguards – masturbation • How to dialogue about Godly Sexuality with your teen.
    7. 7. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 • What did you learn about sex? • Who first talked to you about sex? • What were the values associated with sex? • Why do we experience discomfort about ‘the talk”? • What has prevented us through the years from talking about sex with our kids? Understanding your own story…
    8. 8. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 God’s purpose for Sex • Procreation – Genesis1:28 – Deut 7:13,14 • Pleasure & Release – Song of Sol 4:10-12 – Prov 5:18,1 • Promotes Bonding – Gen 2:24, 25 • Protection of the marriage – 1 Corinthians 7:2-6 Slide courtesy of Terra Mattson, MA, MFT
    9. 9. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 I Now Pronounce you Man & Wife ““For this reason a man will leave his father andFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they willmother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife werebecome one flesh. The man and his wife were bothboth naked and they felt no shamenaked and they felt no shame.”.” Genesis 2:24-25Genesis 2:24-25 Slide courtesy of Terra Mattson, MA, MFT
    10. 10. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 God’s view of Sex • Meant for Marriage: – Sex consummates marriage vows – To know your spouse sexually is like knowing God spiritually – Place of complete vulnerability – Gets better with time and practice Slide courtesy of Terra Mattson, MA, MFT
    11. 11. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Are you sexually healthy? • Parents must discuss their own marital sexuality, prior to discussing sex with their kids. • Your sexual health is more than quantity and quality. It is about attitude and acceptance. • Single parents must reconcile their sexual health in submission to God.
    12. 12. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Clue in on your beliefs about sex – What gets me most upset in bed? – What most fulfills me sexually? – What makes me lose all interest in sex? – What generates the most interest in sex? – What sexual request or act creates the most fear in me?
    13. 13. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Proverbs 5:15-23 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer -- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.
    14. 14. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Malachi 4:5,6 See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.
    15. 15. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 NIV Terms & Uses • “Sex” (2): “have sex with” • “Sexual” (47): in OT as galah, or “have sexual relations with” • porneia in NT (25): sexual immorality, adulteries, immorality, marital unfaithfulness, illegitimate children, sexual sin. • “Sexually” (8): past tense, sexually immoral actions and behaviors. • “Immoral”/”Immorality” (33): all related to sexual behavior and translated porneia (verb/adverb) or pornos as an (adjective/noun)
    16. 16. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 What’s Not Okay in Bed? Fornication (pornea): sex outside of marriage 1 Cor. 7:2; 1 Thess. 4:3; 1 Cor. 5:1; 1 Cor. 6:13, 15-16 Adultery, sex with another persons spouse: Leviticus 20:10; Matthew 5:28 Homosexuality or Sodomy: Leviticus 18:22, 20:13; Romans 1:26,27; I Cor. 6:9 Impurity (pagan lifestyle), & Orgies: Rev. 14:4; 1 Cor. 6:9; 2 Cor. 7:1; Rev. 22:11 Prostitution: Lev. 19:29, Deut. 23:17, Prov. 7:4-27 Lustful passions (for people outside of marriage): Mark 7:21-22, Eph. 4:19 Obscenity and course jokes: Eph. 4:29; Eph. 5:4 Incest: Lev. 18:7 – 18; 20:11-21
    17. 17. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 What is OK in bed? • The marriage bed is sacred! “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” Gen. 2:25 • Everything should be done in mutuality and respect, in preference for one another.
    18. 18. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Sexuality refers to four aspects: •Natal Sex: the physical or biological factors at birth that determine whether a baby is male or female. Chromosomes, genitalia, etc. •Sexual Identity: a person’s sexual self-concept. •Gender role: one’s gender identity as defined by a particular culture. “Boys do…. Girls do….” • Sexual Orientation: the direction of one’s erotic attraction, which can be for the opposite sex (heterosexual), the same sex (homosexual), or
    19. 19. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Defining Terms • Sexual Intercourse: n. 1. Coitus between humans. 2. Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis. • Foreplay: a set of intimate psychological and physical acts between two or more people, meant to build up sexual arousal. • Orgasm: the climax of sexual excitement resulting in intense muscle tightening around the genital area, experienced as a pleasurable wave of tingling sensations through parts of the body. • Erotic: arousing, or designed to arouse, feelings of sexual desire (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2004, 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.)
    20. 20. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Based on this definition, “having sex” can refer to either one (or both) of the following activities: Petting: Erotic physical contact including kissing, touching, holding, manual stimulation, or oral- genital stimulation (fellatio or cunnilingus). Coitus: Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina.
    21. 21. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Duringthe1950sand1960s,WilliamH.MastersandVirginiaE.Johnsonconductedmanyimportantstudies withinthefieldofhumansexuality.In1966,intheirbookHumanSexualResponse,theydetailedfourstages ofphysiologicalchangesofhumansduringsexualstimulation.Thesephases,inorderoftheiroccurrence,are theexcitementphase,plateauphase,orgasmicphase,andresolutionphase. 1).Excitement(arousal)stage:theresultofanyeroticphysicalormentalstimulation,suchaskissing,petting, orviewingeroticimages,thatleadstosexualarousal. 2).Plateauphase:theperiodofsexualexcitementpriortoorgasm. 3). Orgasmicphase:releaseofsexualtensioninwhichbothmalesandfemalesexperiencequickcycles (typically0.8secondsapart)ofmusclecontractions. 4).Resolutionphase:afterorgasmandallowsthemusclestorelax,bloodpressuretodropandthebodyto slowdownfromitsexcitedstate.
    22. 22. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Sexual Arousal Cycle ResolutionResolution PlateauPlateau Desire PhaseDesire Phase OrgasmOrgasm ArousalArousal Phase/ExcitementPhase/Excitement
    23. 23. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Male Reproductive System • Cowper's Glands: These two glands provide a clear thick fluid that lubricates the urethra when the penis is erect so that sperm can pass through. The urethra is the tube in the penis that carries semen or urine. • Epididymis: These coiled tubes are located at the back of the testes. Sperm move through these to be stored in the seminal vesicles. • Penis: External organ with a central tube called the urethra through which semen or urine leaves the body. The penis is made up of the shaft and the glans (head). The foreskin is a fold of skin that protects the glans (head) of the penis. The penis does not contain any bones or muscle but is made up of soft, spongy tissue that is full of blood vessels and lots of nerves. When a man is sexually excited, these vessels fill with blood. This causes the penis to enlarge and stiffen, which is called an erection. When semen comes out of the penis it is called ejaculation. Teenage boys often have erections even without sexual excitement. They also can release semen during the night ("wet dreams"). This is normal and common. • Prostate: A gland. This gland produces a fluid that becomes part of semen. • Seminal Vesicles: These glands, located behind the bladder, produce a fluid that forms part of semen. They are also storage areas for sperm. • Scrotum: The scrotum is the soft sac on the outside of the body that contains and protects the testicles. It is behind and underneath the penis. To protect sperm cells from temperature changes, muscles of the scrotum tighten when exposed to cold temperatures. This brings the testicles closer to the body. In warm weather, the scrotum hangs lower and the testicles seem larger - but there is actually no change in size of the testicles. • Sperm: Under a microscope, these male reproductive cells look like a tadpole, with a head and a tail. Sperm are produced in the testicles when puberty begins. Sperm cells swim in semen, a whitish, sticky liquid. Once a boy's body begins to produce sperm, he will produce millions daily for the rest of his life. • Testes/Testicles : In addition to sperm, these two glands also produce the male sex hormone testosterone. During puberty, the testicles become larger to allow the production of sperm. The testicles hang outside the body because sperm production requires a temperature slightly lower than body temperature. It is normal for the testicles to be slightly different sizes. New lumps or irregular areas on the testes should be checked by a doctor. • Urethra: This narrow tube running from the bladder through the penis is the passage for urine and semen. Semen and urine do not mix. That is because urine is automatically cut off when semen is being released. • Vas Deferens: These narrow tubes carry sperm from the epididymis, past the seminal vesicles, and into the prostate gland. http://www.4parents.gov/sexdevt/boysmen/male_repro/index.html
    24. 24. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Sexual Development of Boys Stage 1: May begin as early as age 9 and continue until 14. • No sign of physical development but hormone production is beginning. Stage 2: May begin anywhere from ages 11 to 13. • Height and weight increase rapidly. • Testicles become larger and scrotum hangs lower. • Scrotum becomes darker in color. • Fine hair growth begins at the base of the penis. • Hair growth may begin on the legs and underarms. Stage 3: May begin anywhere from ages 12 to 14. • The penis, scrotum, and testicles grow. • Pubic hair becomes darker, thicker, and curlier. • Muscles become larger and shoulders become broader. • Sweat and oil glands become more active, which can result in acne. • Sperm production may begin. • Temporary swelling and tenderness may occur around nipples. • Height and weight continue to increase. • Hair growth on the legs and underarms continues. Stage 4: May begin anywhere from ages 13 to 16. • Sperm production has usually begun. • The larynx (Adam's apple) increases in size. Vocal chords become longer and thicker, and the voice begins to break or crack, then becomes low. • Height and weight continue to increase. • Penis and testicles continue to grow. • Pubic hair increases in amount and becomes darker, coarser, and curly. Stage 5: May begin anywhere from ages 14 to 18. • Growth of facial hair begins. • Chest hair growth may begin (not all males get much chest hair). • Adult height is reached. • Penis and testicles have reached full adult size. • Pubic, underarm, and leg hair are adult color, texture, and distribution. http://www.4parents.gov/sexdevt/boysmen/boys_sexdevt/index.htm www.4parents.gov
    25. 25. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Female Reproductive System Cervix: The lower part of the uterus that opens into the vagina. The cervix is rounded and cone- shaped. It is about one inch in length. Menstrual fluid escapes through a small tube down the center of the cervix. The tube is small, about the size of the end of a pencil. The cervix can open (dilate) up to 10 centimeters during childbirth. Clitoris: A piece of body tissue with lots of nerve endings. The size and shape of a pencil eraser, the clitoris is located at the upper vulva, above the vaginal and bladder openings. Egg (Ovum): The female reproductive cell released from an ovary each month. Upon release, a fully grown egg is a little smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. Endometrium: This lining provides oxygen and nutrition for an embryo during pregnancy. It leaves the body each month during a menstrual period if pregnancy does not happen. Fallopian Tubes: Two tubes attached on either side of the uterus. Grown egg cells (ova) travel through these tubes toward the uterus. The inside contains hair-like projections called cilia. These cilia move the egg (ovum) from the ovary to the uterus. Hymen: This thin, flexible membrane partially covering the vaginal opening has an opening that allows menstrual fluid to leave the body. Ovaries: Two glands that produce hormones and reproductive cells called eggs or ova. The ovaries are the size of a small bird's egg and the shape of an almond. They are located on either side of the uterus. The ovaries contain thousands of undeveloped egg cells (ova). Only a few hundred of these will mature and be released during a female's reproductive years. Uterus: It is in the uterus where a baby develops. The uterus is about the size and shape of an upside-down pear. It can stretch up to 20 times its normal size during pregnancy. The muscle contracts to help push the baby through the birth canal at delivery and can also contract and cause cramps during menstruation. Vagina: The passageway leading from the uterus to the outside of the body. The vagina is four to five inches in length. At the top it is connected to the cervix and at the bottom it opens between the inner thighs. It is often called the "birth canal". The opening to the vagina is protected by flexible folds of skin called the labia. Vulva: The vulva is the name for the external female genitalia. The two pairs of fleshy folds between the upper thighs are called the labia, and they surround and cover the vaginal opening. http://www.4parents.gov/sexdevt/girlswomen/female_repro/index.htm www.4parents.gov
    26. 26. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Sexual Development of Girls Stage 1: Between ages 8 to 12 . ・ No visible signs of physical development. But the ovaries are enlarging and hormone production is beginning. Stage 2: May begin anywhere from ages 8 to 14. ・ Height and weight increase rapidly. ・ Fine hair growth begins close to the pubic area and underarms. ・ Breast buds appear; nipples become raised and this area may be tender. ・ Sweat and oil glands become more active which can result in acne. Stage 3: May begin anywhere from ages 9 to 15. ・ Breasts become rounder and fuller. ・ Hips may start to widen in relation to waist. ・ Vagina begins secreting a clear or whitish fluid. ・ Pubic hair becomes darker, thicker, and curlier. ・ Height and weight continue to increase. ・ For some girls, ovulation and menstruation (periods) begin, but may be irregular. Stage 4: May begin anywhere from ages 10 to 16. ・ Underarm hair becomes darker. ・ Pubic hair starts to form a triangular patch in front and around sides of genital area. ・ The nipple and the dark area around the breast (areola) may stick out from the rest of the breast. ・ For many girls, ovulation and menstruation (periods) begin, but may be irregular. Stage 5: May begin anywhere from ages 12 to 19. ・ Adult height is probably reached. ・ Breast development is complete. ・ Pubic hair forms a thick, curly, triangular patch. ・ Ovulation and menstruation (periods) usually occur regularly. www.4parents.gov
    27. 27. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 We are wired for sex!
    28. 28. Copyright Travis Waits 2008
    29. 29. Copyright Travis Waits 2008
    30. 30. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Sexual arousal is triggered by any signal that we consider erotic. Hearing, seeing, smelling, or thinking about something sexy can elicit sexual arousal. These stimuli are partly learned and can vary from culture to culture and from person to person. The brain is known as the largest sex organ because of its integral role in sexual arousal.
    31. 31. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 The neurophysiology of sex Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    32. 32. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” – Robin Williams Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    33. 33. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Primary Neuro-chemicals • Estrogens & Androgens: Creates libido; lust; the drive to procreate • Dopamine (D): Activates the reward pathway; motivates behavior and is associated with feeling pleasure • Epinephrine (epi): Creates a heightened state of arousal • Serotonin (5-HT): Produces feelings of well-being, comfort, tactile sensitivity • Norepinephrine (NE): Similar to Epinephrine; mobilizes energy and increases muscle readiness • Endorphins: Natural pain killers; analgesic and produce a sense of well being • GABA: Induces relaxation and is both anxiolitic and anti-convulsant • Oxytocin (OT): Enables deep bonding; helps reduce cravings for dopamine related activities; calming; speeds healing; increases sexual receptivity and counteracts impotence • Prolactin (PRL): Suppresses dopamine; lowers libido; and is also associated with depressed mood, headache, impotence (men), irritability and anxiety (women) Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    34. 34. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Your brain on sex • Sexual behaviors cause neural activity – neural activity reinforces sexual behaviors • Three general phases – Fantasy – Arousal – Climax / Satiation Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    35. 35. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Fantasy • Sexual fantasy increases the transmission of Dopamine, Serotonin, and Norepinephrin. • Associated with being in a state of arousal and engaging in pleasure seeking behaviors. Fantasy also produces feelings of well being and comfort. Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    36. 36. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Arousal • Sexual arousal increases the transmission of dopamine and epinephrine. • Associated with arousal are feelings of pleasure, energy, and motivation. Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    37. 37. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Climax / Satiation • Sexual climax involves the transmission of endorphins, GABA, prolactin, and serotonin concurrent with a decrease in the transmission of dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine. • Associated with satiation are immediate feelings of relaxation and numbness followed by a reduction in libido, loss of interest in one’s sexual partner, irritability and mood changes. Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    38. 38. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 The ebb and flow of libido and mood • Higher levels of dopamine and serotonin, epinephrine, and norepinephrine associated with pre-orgasmic sex are energizing and associated with an elevated mood. • At orgasm, there is an immediate and short-lived rush from the already high levels of dopamine, along with a surge of endorphins and GABA. • The prolonged return to homeostasis (as long as two weeks) is accompanied by decreased libido, loss of interest in one’s partner, irritability and depressed mood. Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    39. 39. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Oxytocin • Produced by engaging in loving, altruistic and care giving activities • Promotes bonding • Moderates the ebb and flow of dopamine levels • Reduces stress, aids healing, reduces cravings for dopamine related activities. Slide courtesy of Ryan Hosley, PsyD
    40. 40. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Hormone’s • In males, testosterone levels remain generally above the threshold required for sexual interest and activity. Thus increases testosterone above this threshold are believed to have additional influences on sexual interest or behavior. • Interestingly, estrogen (the "female hormone") seems to have little impact on sexual desire on either males or females.
    41. 41. Why the brain/physiology stuff matters…
    42. 42. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 What’s Going On Out There?
    43. 43. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 •One-third of high school students say they've had sex by the time they are in ninth grade (around age 14) (CDC, 2004) •Almost one-third (31%) of sexually active teen girls have been pregnant (www. teenpregnancy.org/press/pdf/Science_Says_23_PR.pdf) •More than one in eight (13%) sexually experienced teen boys have caused a pregnancy (www.teenpregnancy.org/press/pdf/Science_Says_23_PR.pdf) •One out of four sexually active teens acquires a Sexually Transmitted Disease (CDC, 2000) ・ Girls represented 51% of HIV cases reported among 13 ミ 19 year olds in 2002 (CDC, 2002) •Among 15 ミ 17 year olds, 51% say they are personally concerned that they might ハ "do more" sexually than they planned to because they were drinking or using drugs (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2003) •More than a quarter (29%) of teens 15 ミ 17 report feeling pressure to have sex (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2001) •In 2005, 34% of currently sexually active high school students did not use a condom during their last sexual intercourse (CDC, 2006) Some Current Trends http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/risks.asp
    44. 44. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 There is a reaction against ‘abstinence only’ education, in favor of ‘comprehensive sex-ed’. Resulting from a “limiting of information,” that does not support the ideologies of tolerance, personal choice, and acceptance world views of secular progressivism.
    45. 45. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Free Will • “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 • With great freedom, comes great responsibility “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 • Teens are not wild animals, controlled by their “raging hormones” “Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.” Romans 6:13,14
    46. 46. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 STD AWARENESS MONTH Messages • Approximately 19 million new STD infections occur each year in the U.S., almost half of them among young people ages 18 to 24. • CDC and other professional health organizations recommend yearly chlamydia screening for sexually active women ages 25 and younger. • Most doctors do not automatically test for chlamydia or other STDs during a yearly checkup, routine pelvic exam, or Pap test. • Chlamydia is very common in girls and women ages 15–25. About 4 out of every 100 girls/women ages 15–25 are reported to have chlamydia. • Chlamydia can also damage a girl’s or woman's reproductive organs, making it impossible for her to ever have children. • Many STDs are easily treated and cured. • You can pass many STDs to others without knowing it, get tested to know for sure. • Genital human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States. • At least 50% of sexually active people will have genital HPV at some time in their lives. http://www.cdcnpin.com/stdawareness/STD%20Awareness%20Month%20Key%20Messages.pdf
    47. 47. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 One in Four Female Adolescents Is Infected with At Least One Sexually Transmitted Infection, New CDC Study Finds… A new CDC study indicates that one in four (26%) female adolescents in the United States has at least one of the most common sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Four common diseases were examined: human papillomavirus, or HPV, which can cause cervical cancer and affected 18 percent of girls studied; chlamydia, which affected 4 percent; trichomoniasis, 2.5 percent; and herpes simplex virus, 2 percent. Among girls who admitted ever having sex, the rate was 40 percent. While some teens define sex as only intercourse, other types of intimate behavior including oral sex can spread some STD’s. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336749,00.html
    48. 48. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Did you know? Over half of all STD’s reported in the US are in those age 24 or younger?
    49. 49. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Safe sex or Safer sex? STD’s are spread in three ways: • Sex: This includes vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Some STDs can also be spread when skin touches skin during sex, or touching of sexual organs. • Blood contact: Some STDs can be spread through infected blood. Used needles can have infected blood on them and can spread some STDs. • Pregnancy: A pregnant female can give some STDs to her unborn baby. A mother can give some STDs to her baby when breastfeeding.
    50. 50. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Pam Stenzel video clip…
    51. 51. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Some BACTERIAL STDs: • Chlamydia: serious long-term consequences of the disease, which include pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility. • Gonorrhea • Syphilis These types of STDs usually respond to antibiotic therapy and are treatable if detected early, but damage may have already occurred. Source: www.pamstenzel.com
    52. 52. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Some VIRAL STDs: • Herpes • Genital Warts • HPV human pampilovial virus • HIV/AIDS These types of STDs are incurable, but preventable.
    53. 53. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Miss-information campaign “the everyone’s doing it crowd” • STD’s are normal and not bad. – Sexually transmitted diseases are very common. In fact, every year over 15 million people are diagnosed with STDs and a quarter of all these cases happen in teenagers. That's over 3 million teenagers a year!. Source: http://www.iwannaknow.org/brain2/consequences.html • Love is: – Love is a feeling (emotional). – There is no exact "right" definition of love for everybody. – Love involves feelings of romance and/or attraction. Source: http://www.iwannaknow.org/brain2/index.html
    54. 54. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Behaviors that INCREASE your risk for becoming infected with an STD include: • Unprotected sexual intercourse (including vaginal, oral, and anal sex) • Sharing needles to inject drugs • Sharing tattoo/body piercing needles • Having multiple sexual partners Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    55. 55. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 To REDUCE your risk for becoming your infected with an STD: • If you’re sexually active, use a condom (including vaginal, oral and anal sex) • If you use drugs, DO NOT share needles. • •If you get tattoos or body piercings, DO NOT share needles Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    56. 56. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Behaviors that present NO RISK for STD infection include: • Using a public toilet • Getting a massage • Getting a mosquito bite • Donating blood • Eating at a restaurant • Hugging someone with an STD • Having sex ONLY with a mutually monogamous, uninfected partner Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    57. 57. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Signs and symptoms of STDs may include: • Painful or painless sores in the vaginal, oral, or anal area • Unusual discharge • Burning during urination • Pelvic, lower abdominal, or groin pain • Itching • Warts on genitals, anus, or urethra Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    58. 58. Most people with STDs have NO SYMPTOMS Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    59. 59. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 All STDs are treatable. Some STDs are curable. Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    60. 60. Most STDs are for LIFE Some STDs are treatable The Truth is…
    61. 61. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 How can you stay healthy? • Don’t have sex. • If you have sex, use a latex condom every time. • Have sex with one partner who only has sex with you. • Don’t share needles. Source: State of Texas Human Services, http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/stdaware.pdf
    62. 62. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 The American Social Health Association strongly believes that sexuality education begins at home and that a parent is a child's most important sexuality educator We feel that children need: • A clear set of values • Accurate information • A strong sense of self-worth • Decision-making and communication skills. We do not believe that talking about sex or sexuality encourages sex. In fact, studies show that informed teenagers are less likely to have sex. http://www.ashastd.org/parents/parents_overview.cfm
    63. 63. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Some Truth… Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are a public health crisis in the U.S. Each year there are approximately 19 million new cases of STIs in this country, about half of which occur in young people under the age of 25. Recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also indicate approximately 1 in 4 girls and young women between the ages of 14 and 19 have at least one of the more common STDs. Contrary to what many believe, STDs don’t always involve obvious signs. For example, the most commonly reported bacterial STD, chlamydia, often doesn’t cause symptoms in women (and sometimes men) but when undetected in women the infection can spread to the uterus or fallopian tubes and cause chronic pelvic pain and infertility.
    64. 64. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 There's another fact about sex you should know -and that's that oral sex is now more common than sexual intercourse among teenagers. 59 More than half of teen boys (55%) and teen girls (54%) have engaged in oral sex. 60 Lots of teens who have not had sexual intercourse have had oral sex - almost one in four teens who have not had sexual intercourse report having oral sex. 61 Many teens think that if they have oral sex - but not sexual intercourse - they can't catch an STD. This isn't true. Many STDs can be spread through oral sex. Oral Sex… http://www.4parents.gov/sexrisky/somefacts/somefacts.html
    65. 65. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 In addition to overall STI prevalence, key findings of the new study include the following: • The most common STI was cancer- and genital wart-associated HPV (18.3%), followed by chlamydia (3.9%), trichomoniasis (2.5%), and HSV-2 (1.9%). Among the teenage girls who had an STI, 15 percent had more than one. • By race, African American teenage girls had the highest prevalence, with an overall STI prevalence of 48 percent compared to 20 percent among both whites and Mexican Americans. (Other Hispanics and race/ethnic populations were captured in the survey, but there were insufficient numbers in any one group to permit valid prevalence estimates for any group except Mexican Americans.) • Overall, approximately half of all the teens in the study reported ever having had sex. Among these girls, the STI prevalence was 40 percent. • Even among girls reporting only one lifetime partner, one in five (20.4%) had at least one STI. Girls with three or more partners had a prevalence of over 50 percent. The predominant STI was HPV. • According to the authors, the high prevalence of HPV indicates that teenage girls are at high risk for this infection, even those with few lifetime sexual partners. It is important to realize that most HPV infections clear on their own; however some infections persist over time, placing women at risk for cervical cancer. A vaccine against HPV types 16 and 18, responsible for 70 percent of cervical cancer, and types 6 and 11, responsible for nearly all genital warts, is now recommended routinely for 11 and 12 year-old girls. http://www.cdc.gov/stdconference/2008/media/summaries- 12march2008.htm
    66. 66. Our Tax Dollars at work.. CDC supports a comprehensive approach to STD prevention that includes the promotion of abstinence as the surest way to prevent getting an STD, being in a mutually monogamous relationship with a partner known to be uninfected, and the consistent and correct use of condoms for sexually active people to reduce the risk of acquiring many infections. Condoms (used all the time and the right way) may lower your chances of passing HPV to a partner or developing HPV-related diseases. http://oregon.gov/DHS/ph/std/docs/06txguide.pdf
    67. 67. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 National Survey of Family Growth… “…age 5 is the new first exposure to pornography common today” Source: http://www.nap.edu/catalog.php?record_id=10168#toc
    68. 68. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Suggestions on ‘how to’
    69. 69. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 What ‘to do’… • Engage in a lifetime conversation with intention, and teachable moments. • Be a student of the culture. • Make sure your sexually healthy – Your sexually values & beliefs – Satisfaction with your sexual behaviors – Recovery from past sexual trauma
    70. 70. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Unlike programs or classes, parents are a source of information that is always close at hand for teens. Parents are in a unique position to: • Answer questions early • Answer questions when they are asked • Provide ongoing information about sexuality • Build upon past talks to keep teens informed as they grow up • Separate myths and rumors learned from other sources • Share their values about sexuality http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/parents.asp
    71. 71. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Teens want to hear from their parents • Pre-teens are ready for sex information from parents (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2003) • Young people rate parents as their top source of information about sex (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2003) • Nearly all teens (87%) agree that it would be easier to delay sex and prevent pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents (Albert, 2004) http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter
    72. 72. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Parent-child communication about sex has been shown to encourage: • A later age for first sexual activity • Sexual abstinence • Increased partner communication • Safer sexual practice through condom use if teens are already sexually active http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/parents.asp
    73. 73. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Relationship between parent-child communication and risk-taking behavior Research has examined specifically how the process of parent-child communication about sexuality affects adolescents' sexual behaviors. http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    74. 74. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Findings from this research suggest addressing three important areas: • comprehensive messages • parental skill and sensitivity in discussing sexuality • and timing of communication. http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    75. 75. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Relationship between parent-child communication and risk-taking behavior • More comprehensive or broader messages about sexuality delivered by mothers are associated with less sexual risk behavior among adolescents (Dutra, Miller, & Forehand, 1999) • Mothers who are skilled communicators about sexuality-related topics are more likely to discuss a broad range of topics with their adolescent and are more likely to be heard by their child during those discussions (Miller, Kotchick, Dorsey, Forehand, & Ham, 1998) http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    76. 76. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Relationship between parent-child communication and risk-taking behavior • Parent-adolescent discussions about sex are most effective in reducing sexual risk behavior when these conversations occur before the first sexual encounter (Miller, Levin, Whitaker, & Xu, 1998) • Parents' discussions with their teens about sexuality and sexual risk were associated with an increased likelihood of teenagers discussing sexual risk with their partners ミ but only if parents were open, skilled, and comfortable in those discussions (Whitaker, Miller, May, & Levin, 1999) http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    77. 77. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Relationship between parent-child communication and risk-taking behavior • Peer norms were associated more strongly with sexual behavior for adolescents who had not discussed sex or condoms with their parents than with those who had (Whitaker & Miller, 2000) • Family communication about sex and its potential risks has been found to relate to correct knowledge about sexuality and AIDS among adolescents (Carbasi, Greene, & Bernt, 1992; Pick & Palos, 1995) http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    78. 78. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Relationship between parent-child communication and risk-taking behavior • Parent-adolescent communication about sex is associated with decreased sexual risk-taking behavior among adolescents (Dittus, Jaccard, & Gordon, 1999; Dutra, Miller, & Forehand, 1999; Karofsky, Zeng, & Kosorok, 2000; Kotchick, Dorsey, Miller, & Forehand, 1999; Leland & Barth, 1993; Miller, Levin, Whitaker, & ハ Xu, 1998) http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research2.asp
    79. 79. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Parents influence adolescent behavior by providing structure and support for their children and by playing a key role in promoting family health and well being. • Parents monitoring social activities has been associated with better overall psychosocial adjustment among adolescents (Baumrind, 1991), which is an important predictor of sexual activity beginning at a later age (Tubman, Windle, & Windle, 1996), less frequent sexual behavior (Romer et al. 1994), fewer sexual partners (Miller, Forehand, & Kotchick, 1999; Rodgers, 1999), and more consistent use of contraception (Luster & Small, 1994) • Teens who perceive their parents as supportive and involved and who are more satisfied with their relationship with their parents tend to engage in less sexual risk behaviors (Dittus & Jaccard, 2000; Luster & Small, 1994; Scaramella, Conger, Simons, & Whitbeck, 1998) • Teens who report positive and supportive relationships with their parents also report having fewer sexual partners and using condoms more consistently (Miller, Forehand, & Kotchick, 1999) Kotchick http://www.cdcnpin.org/parentsmatter/research3.asp
    80. 80. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 You don’t really want friends or television or music videos or the internet teaching your son or daughter about sex, do you? Of course not, only you can tell your son or daughter how you think he or she should behave. Only you can tell your son or daughter that YOU want him or her to wait.Your child really does want to hear what YOU think about sex. Really! • 9 out of 10 teens (94%) think that adults should let teens know they should wait to have sex at least until they get out of high school.5 • Nearly 9 out of 10 (88%) teens say it would be easier to avoid early sexual activity and teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents.6 • 6 out of 10 (59%) teens say their parents are their role models of healthy, responsible relationships.7 http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/whytalk/whytalk.html
    81. 81. The W.I.S.E. Way to Raise Kids… http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/wise/wise.html "W" is for Welcome No one enjoys dinners, activities, or conversations that are tense. Your son or daughter needs to feel your love and to know that you care and look forward to talking to him or her. They need to feel secure talking to you. Most importantly, your child is more likely to talk and listen to you if neither of you is angry or upset.
    82. 82. "I" is for Interest. Show your interest by asking questions in a comfortable way. Adults generally introduce topics gently when they are talking to other adults but sometimes aren't so gentle with their own children. For example, don't warn, "You'd better not be having sex!" Instead, ask, "Do you think there is a lot of pressure to have sex at your school?" This can start the conversation, and then you can tell your son or daughter your values. The W.I.S.E. Way to Raise Kids… http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/wise/wise.html
    83. 83. "S" is for Support Good Goals. When your son or daughter has goals for the future, he or she is more likely to make good choices. Do you know what your children, pre- teens, or teens' goals are? What do they hope to accomplish in the coming year? When they are an adult? Ask them about their goals for jobs in the future and what their plans are to get ready for them. Ask what their goals are for marriage, family, and a career. The W.I.S.E. Way to Raise Kids… http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/wise/wise.html
    84. 84. "E" is for Encourage, Educate, Empower and Expect. Educate and encourage your son or daughter to make healthy decisions. When topics come up about sex, don't think that you need to know all the answers. Just be honest when you don't and offer to help find out the facts for them. As a parent you are already "expert enough.”Effective parents not only teach and encourage their children, but they also set high expectations for them and clearly communicate those expectations. Effective parents also set limits. The W.I.S.E. Way to Raise Kids… http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/wise/wise.html
    85. 85. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Here are some suggestions for how to bring up tough topics: • Start with a general question or observation. • Let your child be the expert on his or her world • Ask about peer pressure. • Ask how you can help. For example, ask your teen: "Is there someone you really like?", "What kinds of things do you do together?" "Are you ever alone together?" "Have you ever felt pressured or wanted to have sex?" "If you've felt pressured or wanted to have sex, how did you
    86. 86. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Most importantly, listen carefully to your son or daughter Help your child to develop the values of honesty, responsibility, and caring. Remember, values about education, marriage, and trust are more easily "caught" than "taught." You and your behavior are the most valuable "values" educator!
    87. 87. Unconditional Involvement & Uncompromising
    88. 88. “I’m here, I hear you, I understand, I care” -Daniel Sweeney, Ph.D
    89. 89. Copyright Travis Waits 2008 Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all our strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of you houses and on your gates.

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