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Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 15.333: Don't Fear the Reaper.

Last time, Spider Jerusalem attempted to connect with Cassidy, Chad and Indy got married to
their respective SimSelves and had children, Gilbert confronted Malcolm about his relationship
with Coco, Spider Jerusalem watched from afar as Dora married Topher, the first of the Uglacy
kids was born, and an inebriated Cassidy tried to apologize for Spider Jerusalem's current
situation, leading to a confrontation between Spider Jerusalem and Jake.
I decided to see if the Pet Adoption pool would regenerate if I got rid of the upholsteryvores, so I had
Tiffany adopt a bunch of dogs. The pool regenerated, and I had the Uglacy adopt this dog. Turns out
she's an Elder. So I adopted another one, who turned out to be an Elder. So I sold the two of them to
Leod MacGreggor and Cleo Kabuki or whatever her name is, said "Screw it" and plopped a pet store
down in town. And I sent Helen there and adopted an Adult female Collie and named her Cordelia. This
dog is not Cordelia, but looks identical to Cordelia, only Cordelia is less gray.

NOTHING BUT ELDER DOGS IN THE ADOPTION POOL FTL.

It amused me to mate Jesse with Cordelia. Sue me.
Helen likes to pay attention to Archie. He really couldn't care less.
Coco's pregnant again, and still working on her novel. Hooray for another little Landgraab
spawnlet!
I really need to send that gardener to Melody Tinker's Tombstone Garden. Any time I need
someone to be creepy, she seems to show up. Well, her or Rhea, but at least Rhea's family. So
far, she's shown up to Jane giving birth to the twins, Cypress giving birth to Spider Jerusalem,
Helen giving birth to the twins, and at least two family weddings. And now the doghouse-rocking. I
do not pay you to be creepy!

Anyway, doggie lullaby.
Coco finishes her novel. It was mostly about skilling.

She finally got a job in Journalism! YAY! It'll be two promotions to Permaplat.
And it's Archie's birthday soon enough.

Prepare for a worsening of facial tragedy.
Oh yeah. That is one huge face on a tiny little head.

That hair has GOT to go.
I guess this is what sloppy, playful Sims do--break stuff and then play in the mess! I have never
seen a Legacy Sim do this before.

Archie sort of rules.
Helen keeps rolling the Want to be Friends with Archie. I checked her Relationship Panel, and it
seems like she should be friends with him already. I checked his, and he's in the negatives with
her, and Furious. I have no idea why he's so angry with her. She used to Snuggle him and Tickle
him when he was a toddler; I guess he's sensitive to Wrong Touching.
"Another baby?"
"Yup."
"Getting ready to pop?"
"Yup."
"Is that salad in the kitchen?"
"Yup."
"Hey! I'm having a baby over here! What are you doing?"
"I'm itchy; gimme a break!"
Looks like I didn't get any pictures of the actual birth, but this is Anaximander. He's got the same
coloring as Archie--brown hair, custom blue eyes, Skin 3.

Cory gets along pretty well with Xander. With a snapdragon in the nursery, timing the Try for Baby
so that I can grow him up in 30 hours or so, and antibabyharassment, he needs to be fed and
changed about twice each, and generally ignored the rest of the time.
Archie and Jesse are still besties. I don't think Archie's gonna be too happy when I sell Jesse after
the puppies are born. I could sell Jesse now, since there are already puppy buns in Cordelia's
oven, but I hate to break up Archie and Jesse so soon.
Aaawwww... An actual person Archie doesn't loathe...

I had to get him into private school right away, because with that maxed playful, his Fun motive
was pretty low when he got home. Doesn't take much work anymore; Cory went out wearing the
Social Glasses, showed the headmaster a few rooms, and that was the end of it.
Pen follows Coco home for Xander's birthday.

"It doesn't involve any suspicious fish! Yessss!"

While Coco grows Xander up, something else important is happening...



Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy.
Cordelia has her puppies! Three of them: a female and two males. I named them Maggie,
Morgan, and Sid, which are the missing dogs from the Alpha 'hood. Hopefully Beta Morgan will be
less of an idiot than his predecessor. With five Sims and five dogs in the house, it was a little full,
so I sold Cordelia to Pen and Jesse to Rocky. And Pen's a playable in a houseful of SimSelves, so
Cordelia won't end up in the stray pool or anything.

But it's time to assess the damage on Xander!
WTFZOMGBBQ! That face is a glorious melange of squiff!

Coco's brows, chin, and lips (originally from Rosemarie), Cory's cheekbones all the way back from
Christy, and Malcolm's teeny tiny little nose! If he had the Beaker Brows instead, he'd pretty much
be exactly what I was hoping for!

Anaximander's got a mutant personality too: Taurus 7/7/5/10/7. TWO maxed playful Sims! And
he's the nicest Uglacy Sim I've had yet--even Kest only had 6 nice points.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"Can't you give your grandma a hug?"
"Get bent, Skeletor."
"Wanna horsie!"
"You can't have the horsie, because you're just a stupid baby!"
"Waaaaah!"
"Ahahaha loser!"


Crap, even Larch wasn't this mean to Cypress! All Xander wanted to do was Cuddle a puppy, and
Archie jumped right in with a Tease.

...Archie kind of rules.

And now to check in with another of Orson's nice-point-deficient descendants...
"So what's up, Spider?"
"I just needed someone to talk to. Someone not Dad."
"You could get together with your brother."
"I wish. I've tried to talk to him a few times, and the one time he was more or less coherent, Mr.
Big Jerk dragged him away from the phone. I wish I did have Reaper child powers, so I could get
rid of that loser."
"You need a girlfriend. Someone to pour your heart out to. You're only human, after all."
"That's up for debate. Even if I wasn't a Reaper Child, I'd still be different. Dad... he's done a
pretty good number on all of us. Cass and Del and me, we live in this world, but we don't really
understand how other people work. Maybe me more than them, since I know what I am, and I
always have. I don't get to have the things other people get to have. Like girlfriends. Or my own
life."
"I'm sure your father wouldn't begrudge you a girlfriend. He has one himself, after all."
"I wouldn't be too certain of that. I imagine he wouldn't be happy about someone else taking up
my time."
"OK, so it doesn't have to be a girlfriend. You're not unattractive; you shouldn't have much trouble
finding a Friend With Benefits."
"I don't think I could do that, Sycamore."
"Spider, you don't... You don't still have that First WooHoo Want locked, do you?"
"That's none of your business!"
"You've never even been in love?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Who was she? Some cute little dormie? Or some sassy little Townie?"
"Andorra."
"Andorra, the Prettacy heir?"
"Yeah. The plan was to get her in love with me, bring her to Dad, and then kill her to force Indy to take over. And then kill him, naturally."
"But that didn't happen."
"I couldn't do it. I ended it and lied to Dad about it. If he knew what I'd done, he'd kill me. I loved her, and I couldn't kill her, and I couldn't
let Dad kill her. So I ran out on her to keep her safe."
"That's rough."
"I watched her get married to Topher. I don't know why. I guess I just needed to see her happy after what I did to her."
"That must have been torture."
"You'd know, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Malcolm and Coco, obviously."
"What about Malcolm and Coco?"
"The part where they're 'Malcolm and Coco.' Andorra told me before... Well, before."
"I mean, you knew that, right? You knew that Malcolm was dating Coco. Andorra said they met at
Club Dante and hooked up in the Havelock House hot tub, and you totally knew that. ...You didn't
know that. You really didn't know that. Oh, geez. Social ineptitude, thy name is Spider Jerusalem.
I, uh, well... Gosh, my foot is nummy delicious."
"So Malcolm's going to be supplying the genes for Gen 6 of the Uglacy, huh? I love him, but he
really is an idiot. I hoped he'd stay clear of the Legacy from now on."
"You're not, I don't know, upset? Hurt? Angry? All of the above?"
"Of course I am. But I died, and they don't know I'm alive. Malcolm thinks I'm dead, and he's moved on."
"How can you be so calm? Sometimes when I think about what I could have had, I want to scream."
"I knew what I was giving up. I thought about it, and I was willing to make the sacrifice. Am I happy about it?
No. But I certainly knew it was a possibility, and I've had a long time to come to terms with it. It'll get easier, I
promise."
"It won't. Nothing's ever easy. ...I should go. Dad gets home from work in an hour, and it'll be suspicious if I'm
not there."
"You know I'm here if you need to talk."
"Next time I need to drop a bombshell, you'll be the first person I call."

Checking in with the object of Spider Jerusalem's affection...
"So, I've had this Want locked for a while."
"Something penetrated the cheese-Wants?"
"Yup. Five slots of cheese, one slot of Big Purple Heart."
"I think we should take care of it, then."
"Hey, you're, uh... Not gonna head for the hills or anything, are you?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Lullaby on the first try!
Dora likes being pregnant. A rapidly-dropping Hunger motive means more excuse to eat Grilled
Cheese Sandwiches!
Meanwhile, Topher goes Permaplat. Now he gets to job-hop for me and collect career rewards I
don't have here yet. First up is Artist!
"Catch me!"
"You know, Tom, this doesn't get easier with age."
"Anybody want a grilled cheese sandwich?"
Dora's working on her novel with a snapdragon next to the computer. It appears to mostly be
about grilled cheese sandwiches.
"We're getting a grandchild pretty soon."
"Any spooky-eyed insight onto whether it's a boy or a girl?"
"It doesn't work like that."
"Too bad."
"Topher!"
"What? ...Oh, hey, I rolled Have a Baby!"
Ptolemaeus joins the family!

And Tolly has Topher's pale blue eyes! Wheeee! He also got Raven's black hair.
After topping Artist for me, Topher feeds Tolly a bottle and gives him a cuddle.

...Yeah, I know I don't need to top the career to get the career reward, but the bonus is nice. Not
like they need the money or anything, but... it's the principle of the thing.
Topher may not mind feeding Tolly, but he's got a big fat Fear of Changing a Diaper (Topher? You
have two neat points. Messy diaper: not the least pleasant thing you've been exposed to). Tom,
however, takes every opportunity to get some time in with his grandson.
Dora finishes her novel! Well, that's one requirement down for this generation.
"That's great! I'm going to go eat a grilled cheese sandwich to celebrate!"
It's Tolly's birthday soon! This is me crossing my fingers for no Stabby Death Nose!
...Although I should perhaps have been crossing my fingers that Tolly didn't have to poop.

And also was not Magic Levitating Baby.
Tom gets to Tolly on Birthday 2.0. Dora, Topher, and Andrew Pearson Who Got His Ass Kicked By
Elder Larch were there to wave their noisemakers.
YES! Tolly has Topher's nose!

And also mostly Topher's personality. Tolly's a Gemini 2/9/9/7/4, which is Topher's personality, only
9 outgoing instead of 3. I appear to be running out of neat freaks here, although I've still got my
finger-gunners. Playful, too!
Tolly is a cutie! Raven and Topher both rolled the Wants to teach him his skills. I have to say,
that's the longest I've ever seen those Wants stick around in Raven's panel.
Dora and Topher decided to get a start on Baby Number Two. Once again, it took on the first try.
"Please tell me you're not going to make a lame 'bad cheese sandwich' joke."
Well, in your case, it might be apropos, but no. I have to say, you've yet to eat a bad cheese
sandwich, or even burn one.
Topher tops, uh, Music, I think. At this point, he's just raking in the cash.

The nice part about him having a college degree, maxed skills, and a Family Friend count of 43 is
that he starts nice and high in the career paths and gets a promotion pretty much every time he
goes to work.

How do I deal with 43 Family Friends? The Phone Hack and autoyak, of course. Pescado FTW!
Dora's about ready to pop with her second, and it's Tolly's birthday!
Tolly: still cute! He looks a lot like Topher, but his face is a bit thinner, I think.
"Hey! I'm about ready to give birth to someone else to eat most of a grilled cheese sandwich for
me!"
"MEET SOMEONE NEW +1000!"
*hearts Tom*
And the last Gen 6 kiddie is Eratosthenes.

Rizzo has Dora's skin tone and hair color, but he also has Topher's pale eyes again! Hooray for
genetic diversity!
Random adorable picture of Tolly being adorable is randomly adorable.
"Da-a-a-ad! I'm a kid; you're supposed to let me win!"
"Adversity breeds character!"
"No fair!"
Dora has time to snuggle Rizzo in between sandwiches.
Topher tops Slacker. Colin picks on a wolf again.

I finally downloaded lesspetwarfare in the hopes of finding Colin a mate. He's a little cranky.
Topher snags Rizzo for the caking. You can see Indy and Di's daughter Becca behind Tom; she
followed Tolly home from school.
TOPHER'S NOSE!

And NO, I am not tempting fate by having Topher and Dora have a third kid.

Rizzo has another non-Vetinari personality: Sagittarius 2/3/9/10/5.

Three out of four main household Gen 6 kids have maxed Playful, and the other has 7. Three of
the four of them are total slobs. And only one of the four has the Vetinari Nice Point!

...I might actually need to hire the Prettacy a maid once Raven dies.
Topher and Raven both rolled Wants to teach Rizzo his skills. I let Topher do it, because Raven
had the flu.
Archie follows Tolly home next. There was the predictable kick-the-fallen-opponent-in-the-ribs
portion of Cops 'n' Robbers on Archie's part, when he could be coaxed into playing in the first
place.

Tolly's not one of Archie's favorite people. The comprehensive list of people Archie likes? Coco
and Cory. The End.


And now for a detour to the Landgraab mansion...
"Eddie?"
"What?"
"Can I sleep in here tonight?"
"Why?"
"There's a monster under my bed."
"No, there's not."
"It's dark in there and it's scary."
"It's supposed to be dark. That's why it's bedtime. Anyway, you can't sleep in here; I'm going to be up reading for a while."
"I hear it helps if you hold the book the right way around."
"It's Borges; I'm seeing if it makes more sense this way."
"Eddiiiiieeeeeee..."
"Okay, okay, you can stay here until you get sleepy, but then you're going back to your own room, got it?"
"Okay!"
"Are you and Daddy going to start talking to each other again?"
"That's sort of up to him."
"I liked it better when everybody wasn't mad."
"I liked it better when Dad wasn't dating Coco."
"She's nice, Eddie."
"I don't care."
"Eddie?"
"What?"
"Will you tell me about Mommy?"
"Mal..."
"Pleeeeaaaaaase?"
"Fine, but you gotta go to your own room after, all right?"
"Deal."
"Mom was..."
"...Mom was pretty. You've seen the pictures. She had black hair, and blue eyes like ours. She
always had dinner ready every night, and she always packed me a lunch in the morning.
Sometimes she'd put a little note in my lunchbox, like a surprise when I got to the cafeteria, and
sometimes she'd use cookie cutters to turn my sandwich into a dinosaur or an elephant. She'd
help me with my homework whenever I needed it, and she'd always give me a hug when I got an
A. She was always following Dad around, cleaning up after him, and then he'd catch her at it, and
they'd dance, or hug each other, and she always gave him a kiss when he got home from work.
She tucked me in every night, and told me she'd be there if I needed her. And... Hey, you awake
over there? ...Dammit."
"So I guess we should talk."
"If you want. I won't force you."
"It's freaking Mal out. I'd like to be able to sleep in my own bed by myself for a change."
"Okay."
"I'm not gonna like Coco."
"I'm not asking you to."
"But you are asking me to accept her."
"Not even her, Eddie. Just the fact that I'm allowed to have relationships with other women. Your
mother's dead. I'm not cheating on her or forgetting about her or trying to pretend like I didn't love
her."
"It's just... It's not fair! Why'd Mom die? Why couldn't I do anything to stop it?"
"It wasn't your fault. You know that. I don't blame you. If I'd been able to find that phone thing, I
could have brought her back and we wouldn't be having this conversation, but I never figured out
what she did with it."
" 'Phone thing?' What 'phone thing?' "
"You must remember it. The big smoking, glowing phone thing."
"The one covered in skulls? I had nightmares about that thing for weeks after it was gone!"
"Cami said it could bring people back from the dead. I said it was creepy. She agreed, and said
she'd get rid of it. I don't know what happened to it; I searched the mansion top to bottom after
she died, and couldn't find it."
"So why not just buy a new one?"
"I can't--it's not up for purchase. You have to have gone to the Academie to get your hands on
one."
"Mom went to Sim State."
"She was in a secret society of sorts there. I believe that's where she got it."
"But you're Malcolm Landgraab IV! You must know someone, somewhere who can get you one!"
"I tried, Eddie. Why would you think I didn't? I pulled every string, cashed in every favor, threw large sums of
money at anyone I thought could help me, and came up dry. I finally accepted that there was nothing more I
could do, and moved on. I wish I knew what to do to help you do the same."
"You weren't there, Dad. You don't know what it was like. You don't know how it felt to watch her die."
"If I could have traded places with you, I would have. You have to move past this. You have to let it go. Let her
go."
"I don't know if I can."
"Eddie..."
"It's late. I'm gonna go to bed. If you need me, I'll be in Mal's room."

Kicking it over to the object of Eddie's distaste...
Coco goes Permaplat! And now she Wants to be Education Minister. Been there, done that lots.

She invited Malcolm and his kids over for Xander's birthday. Eddie headed for the pool table and
refused to talk to anyone, but Archie made a beeline for his dad.
"Dad! Xander's growing up tonight! Then I'll really be able to pick on him!"
"Archie, that's really not something you should be looking forward to."
"But he's always like, 'Waaaah, stop being mean to me, I'm nice!' It's hilarious!"
"You shouldn't pick on him just because you like making him cry."
"Why should I pick on him, then?"
"You shouldn't pick on him at all."
"Where's the fun in that?"
"Some people find it fun to play nicely with their siblings."
"Like who?"
"...You know what, I think Mal's outside somewhere. Why don't you go play Cops 'n' Robbers?"
"Why do you want me to go play with Mal?"
"Because Mal kicks back."
"Good throw, Mal! Nice and hard."
"Eddie taught it to me!"
"Did he teach you how to catch 'em, too?"
"I'm better at the throwing part."
Everybody decided to stand where I wanted to put the camera. Boo hiss, guests. Anyway, prepare
yourselves for facial enworsening.
*snerk*

Xander's got so many of the Cory/Coco features that he's going to get a really fantastic case of
Exploding Face when he gets to college. And the best part is that nose is never getting any bigger.

While Xander changes the Cecil-hair, let's check in with the Prettacy...
Bianca's the next one to follow Tolly home from school, and demonstrates her Vetinari personality
on his solar plexus. Tolly is really popular; he's brought a friend home from school with him pretty
much every single day, and with all the playable kids in the neighborhood right now, they've all
been Vetinaris. Which is nice, because then I can let him play with them and let him make friends,
and not have to worry about him being friends with a Townie kid who will never grow older than
Child (no FT, remember).
Rizzo is widely adored. Tom spends a lot of time with him, and Raven can often be found playing
with him when he's on the rabbit head.
Rizzo is pure cute.

...Yeah, that's really the only point to this slide. Rizzo = cute.
"Still with the grilled cheese, huh?"
"Yeah. Except now they're sparkly, so I can't eat as many as fast, which is kind of bumming me
out."
"You didn't raid the dorm fridge for the ones left there?"
"Forgot. ...You gonna finish that?"
"It's all yours."
Topher tops... uh... I forget what I'm on now. Law, maybe? Sure, let's go with Law.
Raven makes a better grandma than mother, I think. Not that she didn't pay attention to Indy,
Chad, and Dora, but she definitely dotes on Rizzo and Tolly a lot more.
"How does the horsie move?"
"I don't remember. I didn't need Logic to be Hall of Famer."
"So we're just making up rules?"
"Sure, why not."
"OK then, my little pointy-headed guy shoots your tower guy with a laser gun. ZAP!"
"...Well, at least you're not trying to tell me there's a New Someone to Meet behind me."
Topher grabs Rizzo for the ceremonial Caking. Tom Wanted a party, but Rizzo had a big fat Fear
of it. Scarring the Toddler: Do Not Want.
Rizzo is still made of cute. And everyone still loves to pay attention to him.
Tom's lifebar was getting short, so I had him call up Indy and Chad and invite them over with their
respective children on Saturday afternoon. He's a Popularity Sim to his core, so I figured he'd
want to Make Friends with all of his grandkids. Plus Tolly and Rizzo could get to know their
cousins better as well.
Tom started a water balloon fight. It's probably the best way for a large group of Sims to build
relationships without the risk of minuses flying everywhere. That's Tolly on the left and Rizzo on
the right...
...Bianca in the white and Fiona in the green...
...and Becca in the pink and Simon not in his outerwear.

I think I gave Xander the same outfit as Simon. However, I doubt anyone will confuse them. Ever.

Raven eventually joined in the fun as well, and by the time Dora served up a couple platters of
grilled cheese sandwiches, everybody was friends.

All in all, Tom's last Saturday was very fulfilling.
The Uglacy puppies grow up! This is Maggie. She has the coolest coat pattern I've ever seen.
That's Morgan on the left and Sid on the right. I sold them both to Gerry, who'd been Wanting a
pet for a really long time. Sid and Morgan were close, so I hated to break them up.

Gerry being Gerry, he stuck around for a while, spinning on the Dance Sphere and soaking in the
hot tub.
"Archie! Congratulations on getting that A+!"
"Thanks, Grandpa!"
"Want a hug?"
"No, not really."
"Please hug me."
"AAUUUUGH! Make it stop trying to touch me!"
"I'm your grandmother. I want to be your friend."
"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers!"
"I'm not a stranger! I'm your grandmother!"
"BAD TOUCHING! BAD TOUCHING! HELP!"

Maybe if she weren't trying to make friends in her nightie...
Look, I said Gerry stuck around for a while, didn't I? Long enough for the boys to go to bed and
wake up.

Gerry's a bit of a Dance Sphere addict.
"Hey, kid, did anyone ever tell you you look like my Uncle Malcolm?"
"He's my Dad."
"Wooo! That's some kinda freaky."
"So's your face."
"...But you're definitely related to Larch."
"Your mom."
"Actually, yeah, she was."
"...Nice purse. What do you keep in there, dollies and hair bows?"
"...The remains of the last small child to tick me off."
"Well played, Daffodil. Well played."
"It's 'Geranium,' short stuff. I put up with your great-grandpa and his sister in college; you don't intimidate me.
Zee coming into my bedroom and relaxing on the bed next to me while I slept--now that was frightening."
"Yaaaaay!"
"Yaaaaay!"
"Look, Xander, it's Dad!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, he's right over there!"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive!"
"Archie! Cheating's mean!"
"Duh."
"I'm so going to tell someone on you!"
"Like they're gonna be surprised."
Archie grows up in the middle of the night, platinum off a Gain a Skill Point Want. Topher was
there because he followed Helen home from work. I guess that means he's in Military now. Helen
got demoted, so I had her retire.
Archie looks...

...oddly hot, I think. I mean, yeah, those are the Landgraab brows and Cory's gigantic lumpy
schnoz, and Cory's mouth, and the Beaker chin (it has to be, because he HAS a chin, and Cory
and Malcolm don't) but they all somehow manage to work.

Archimedes is a Sagittarius 2/7/8/10/1 and rolled Knowledge (yawn) with the LTW to Max 7 Skills.
Easy enough, and he'll be Permaplat when I switch him to a Social Aspiration in college.
Xander and Cory go out and play in the snow. They started out with a snowball fight. You can see
the remnants of a snow angel, and then they proceeded to build a non-evil snowman.

Cory seems to like having grandkids. He's not particularly playful, but he IS reasonably outgoing,
so he doesn't mind playing with Archie and Xander.
Archie enjoys the snow by making crankyface at the doofus who followed him home from school.
Seriously, Random Teen Townie, I put him in a skull shirt FOR A REASON. It's like the rattle on a
rattlesnake or the spines on a blowfish. Next time, TAKE THE HINT.
And the next day, it was Helen's time to go. She was platinum off a date with Cory.

"All right, dudette, where's the one I'm here to get?"
Right behind you, Spicoli.
"Whoa. With the face, I thought she was, like, already dead. Heinous."
"Waaaaah! Grandma's dying!"
Hooooowwwwwwwlllllomnomnomnomnom
"Are there puppies in the afterlife? Lots and lots of puppies?"
"All the puppies you want, as long as you stop smiling at me. You're harshing my buzz."
"Waaaaaah!"


I actually thought Helen was going to die the NEXT day, so Cory was at work and Rocky wasn't
there. Sorry, Helen!
"Hey, Mom! Rock Paper Scissors?"
"Sure! What's going on in that corner?"
"Beats me!"
"Your brother's kinda crying."
"Meh, nice points. Someone probably made fun of his shirt or something."
Coco did eventually cry. Archie, not so much.

And no, I did not make up the Rock Paper Scissors thing. Helen was still fading away, and Coco
and Archie decided to play Rock Paper Scissors instead of mourning.
Cory cried seven times before he finally stopped and made it into the house. I feel bad that I
misjudged when Helen was going; I know Cory would have liked to have been able to say
goodbye.

"Three first dates?"
Not now, Cory.
Helen Smith Vetinari, Gen 4 Uglacy spouse. Helen lived 72 days. She was a Family Sim with a pet-related LTW and
never went Permaplat, although she did die platinum thanks to a series of dates with Cory. The gender-swapped
Loki Beaker clone has 2 children, Morocco and Monaco, and 2 grandchildren, Archimedes and Anaximander.

Helen left money to 12 people, including $20K to Cory, $7800 to Coco, $9500 to Rocky, and $1300 to Xander. She
actually did give an inheritance to Archie, because her relationship towards him was still in the 40s, but I imagine it
was on the level of a half-done crossword puzzle and a piece of twine.

Helen, annoying LTW aside, you were cool, and you seemed to always get the short end of the stick from me, and I
kinda feel bad about that. I couldn't have asked for more from you than the brows and the chin and the Skeletor
cheeks, but you were easygoing and never complained about your Aspiration rarely being even in the high green.
So, sorry, 'cause you sort of deserved more from me.
The proof that Helen did actually die platinum! Christy's grave is turned around because she was
haunting when I took this. I flipped the Day/Night toggle in Build Mode and clicked the Design Tool to
get rid of the gridlines.

So there's the Parade Of Spouses: Helen, Rosemarie, Christy, and PseudoBruty, who is a much less
annoying ghost now that she has no reason to come into the house. I still haven't gotten Isaac and
Orson's pictures re-painted. The neighborhood they were extracted to has a glitchy lot with invisible
Sims, and it happens to be their lot, so I need to dump everyone into a clean neighborhood and start
again. I'll get their portraits re-painted by Gen 10, I promise!

And now to sneak back over to Malcolm's...
Never bothered to change the locks, I see, Malcolm. Wishful thinking, or blissful ignorance?

Oh, Mal... Those are definitely the Vetinari features you're sporting there, kid. Except your nose.
You got your daddy's nose. And just look at that haircut--what have your dad and your brother
been teaching you?

I'm sorry I can't be here for you. But I know my cousin, and he wouldn't hesitate to strike at me
through you, or care if he took the rest of you out when he killed me. I knew what I'd be
sacrificing. I guess I just didn't realize what it would cost the rest of you.
Poor Eddie. If there'd been another way...

But your father would have tried to save me, and I knew you wouldn't know what to do. And you had to be
there, or else Mal would have gotten taken by the Social Worker. I suppose it seems silly to care about
something like that, given what I was doing.

I'm sorry. I never meant for you to take it so badly. You wear your three nice points very differently than I wear
mine, and I should have known that.

Boss... When this is all over, it better have been worth it.

Time to check in on what Sycamore's fighting for...
...The Prettacy.

Tolly tries to grow up, but Jeannie has other ideas. Luckily for me, he wasn't Fearing See Ghost.
Tolly has the roughest birthdays!
Still, though, Tolly managed to grow up well.

Very, very well.

Ptolemaeus is a Gemini 2/9/9/7/4 who rolled Fortune! Yay Fortune! So he's still looking good as a
candidate for heir. His LTW is 5 Top Level Businesses. If he ends up being the spare, though, I'll
re-roll it to something less labor-intensive. All my spares and their spouses have gotten Permaplat
(except for Jane, of course), but I'm not about to do that LTW for a spare when it's so easy to re-
roll a LTW. If he's the heir, I'll get it done. Depends on what Rizzo rolls now!
"Whooo! Man cannot live on grilled cheese alone, I guess!"
"Ptolemaeus Vetinari, stop being disgusting right this minute!"
"Take it easy, Raven, he's just a bit of a slob!"
"My nine neat points refuse to accept that my grandson is sloppy!"
"We both are, Grandma!"
"She knows that, Tol, she just likes to pretend."
Topher tops Military. I missed the little icon thingy. There are other pressing matters to attend to.
"Is this really it?"
"I think it is."
"Do you regret any of it, Tom? You could have lived forever."
"If it wasn't with you, it wasn't really living."
"Have we got time for one more?"
"Just try and stop me."
"All right, you old bastard. Time to explain yourself. Why did you make me do this?"
"You have gifts."
"Thanks to you, if I recall correctly."
"You've used them to help your family in the past. Now I'm asking you to use them to help mine."
"Why should I help you? All you've done is kill me once and take my husband before his time."
"Tom got what everyone gets. He got a lifetime."
"But he would have had a longer one if not for that vision--the 'gift' you referred to before. Your doing. So why? Why did he
have to die early?"
"We Reapers are only welcome when someone is dying."
"You're never welcome."
"A poor choice of words, perhaps. Nevertheless, I could only speak to you when death is at hand. I could not be sure
you would be present for the death of your parents, and I assumed you would rather lose a husband than a child."
"You're not even here for Tom."
"No. But I am permitted here while his Reaper is."
"Then say what you wanted to say before you run out of time. What do you want from me?"
"Help my son."
"Your son? Spider Jerusalem? Cypress's son? The son he keeps waving at my family like a
weapon? The son he keeps using to threaten us with total destruction? What kind of help could I
give him--and why would I want to?"
"He is alone. He is angry. He does not understand what he is."
"I'm sure he knows perfectly well that he's a Reaper Child."
"But he does not understand what that means."
"...I see. What am I supposed to do?"
"You will know, should you choose to help. There will be... limitations... as there always are. All I ask is
that you do what you can. He may not be willing to listen, but perhaps he will remember, and someday,
he will understand."
"And trying to make my enemy see what he truly is will help my family how?"
"Have you not spoken of the connection between you?"
" 'Child in Death and child of Death/While they stand opposed, balance is maintained.' But if I help him, won't
that mean we're not opposed?"
"The balance will be lost shortly, regardless."
"By my death, yes, I'm aware."
"The loss of that balance can work for you or against you. Ultimately, the choice is yours."
"Why do you care what happens? The hippie idiot over there will come for all of us in our time.
Our lives are so many bits of ephemera to you. Why bother to try to help my family? What
difference could it possibly make to you?"
"Do you not care what the future holds for your children? Why should I be any different?
Unlike you, I can do little for my son--but I can do this. I cannot demand that you help him;
I have no means to force your hand. I can ask, and hope, and trust that you will extend to
my family the same compassion you have always shown yours."
"Please, Raven. Do what I cannot. Help my son. For his sake... and the sake of the Legacy."
Thomas Kearney Vetinari, Gen 4 Prettacy spouse, lived 78 days. He was a Popularity Sim who got Permaplat
by becoming a Hall of Famer, although that didn't occur until after he was an Elder, and he continued to make
friends until the day he died. Tom had three children, India, Chad, and Andorra, and six grandchildren, Fiona,
Simon, Bianca, Rebecca, Ptolemaeus, and Eratosthenes.

Tom left inheritance to 17 people, including $20,000 to Raven, $10,000 to Dora, $8,900 to Chad, and $2,350
to Becca and Rizzo.

Tom, you rocked. Under the sweater and shorts and doofy haircut was a naked hot-tubber just waiting to see
the light of day. I'm sure Michelle and Di were glad I married you in, and my only regret is that Dora did not get
your nose. You were easy, you were fun, you were a good dad and grandfather, and you loved Raven like
nothing else. Thanks, Tom. Miss ya already.
And there's the first Platstone I've had at the Prettacy that's not Knowledge, Pleasure, or Family.
I've already got Topher and Dora's portraits up, but Isaac's is still MIA.

Next time: Raven's choice, the end of Gen 4, and the Teenifying of Xander and Rizzo.

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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 15.333: Don't Fear the Reaper

  • 1.
  • 2. Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 15.333: Don't Fear the Reaper. Last time, Spider Jerusalem attempted to connect with Cassidy, Chad and Indy got married to their respective SimSelves and had children, Gilbert confronted Malcolm about his relationship with Coco, Spider Jerusalem watched from afar as Dora married Topher, the first of the Uglacy kids was born, and an inebriated Cassidy tried to apologize for Spider Jerusalem's current situation, leading to a confrontation between Spider Jerusalem and Jake.
  • 3. I decided to see if the Pet Adoption pool would regenerate if I got rid of the upholsteryvores, so I had Tiffany adopt a bunch of dogs. The pool regenerated, and I had the Uglacy adopt this dog. Turns out she's an Elder. So I adopted another one, who turned out to be an Elder. So I sold the two of them to Leod MacGreggor and Cleo Kabuki or whatever her name is, said "Screw it" and plopped a pet store down in town. And I sent Helen there and adopted an Adult female Collie and named her Cordelia. This dog is not Cordelia, but looks identical to Cordelia, only Cordelia is less gray. NOTHING BUT ELDER DOGS IN THE ADOPTION POOL FTL. It amused me to mate Jesse with Cordelia. Sue me.
  • 4. Helen likes to pay attention to Archie. He really couldn't care less.
  • 5. Coco's pregnant again, and still working on her novel. Hooray for another little Landgraab spawnlet!
  • 6. I really need to send that gardener to Melody Tinker's Tombstone Garden. Any time I need someone to be creepy, she seems to show up. Well, her or Rhea, but at least Rhea's family. So far, she's shown up to Jane giving birth to the twins, Cypress giving birth to Spider Jerusalem, Helen giving birth to the twins, and at least two family weddings. And now the doghouse-rocking. I do not pay you to be creepy! Anyway, doggie lullaby.
  • 7. Coco finishes her novel. It was mostly about skilling. She finally got a job in Journalism! YAY! It'll be two promotions to Permaplat.
  • 8. And it's Archie's birthday soon enough. Prepare for a worsening of facial tragedy.
  • 9. Oh yeah. That is one huge face on a tiny little head. That hair has GOT to go.
  • 10. I guess this is what sloppy, playful Sims do--break stuff and then play in the mess! I have never seen a Legacy Sim do this before. Archie sort of rules.
  • 11. Helen keeps rolling the Want to be Friends with Archie. I checked her Relationship Panel, and it seems like she should be friends with him already. I checked his, and he's in the negatives with her, and Furious. I have no idea why he's so angry with her. She used to Snuggle him and Tickle him when he was a toddler; I guess he's sensitive to Wrong Touching.
  • 12. "Another baby?" "Yup." "Getting ready to pop?" "Yup." "Is that salad in the kitchen?" "Yup."
  • 13. "Hey! I'm having a baby over here! What are you doing?" "I'm itchy; gimme a break!"
  • 14. Looks like I didn't get any pictures of the actual birth, but this is Anaximander. He's got the same coloring as Archie--brown hair, custom blue eyes, Skin 3. Cory gets along pretty well with Xander. With a snapdragon in the nursery, timing the Try for Baby so that I can grow him up in 30 hours or so, and antibabyharassment, he needs to be fed and changed about twice each, and generally ignored the rest of the time.
  • 15. Archie and Jesse are still besties. I don't think Archie's gonna be too happy when I sell Jesse after the puppies are born. I could sell Jesse now, since there are already puppy buns in Cordelia's oven, but I hate to break up Archie and Jesse so soon.
  • 16. Aaawwww... An actual person Archie doesn't loathe... I had to get him into private school right away, because with that maxed playful, his Fun motive was pretty low when he got home. Doesn't take much work anymore; Cory went out wearing the Social Glasses, showed the headmaster a few rooms, and that was the end of it.
  • 17. Pen follows Coco home for Xander's birthday. "It doesn't involve any suspicious fish! Yessss!" While Coco grows Xander up, something else important is happening... Penguingirl writes the Penguino Legacy.
  • 18. Cordelia has her puppies! Three of them: a female and two males. I named them Maggie, Morgan, and Sid, which are the missing dogs from the Alpha 'hood. Hopefully Beta Morgan will be less of an idiot than his predecessor. With five Sims and five dogs in the house, it was a little full, so I sold Cordelia to Pen and Jesse to Rocky. And Pen's a playable in a houseful of SimSelves, so Cordelia won't end up in the stray pool or anything. But it's time to assess the damage on Xander!
  • 19. WTFZOMGBBQ! That face is a glorious melange of squiff! Coco's brows, chin, and lips (originally from Rosemarie), Cory's cheekbones all the way back from Christy, and Malcolm's teeny tiny little nose! If he had the Beaker Brows instead, he'd pretty much be exactly what I was hoping for! Anaximander's got a mutant personality too: Taurus 7/7/5/10/7. TWO maxed playful Sims! And he's the nicest Uglacy Sim I've had yet--even Kest only had 6 nice points.
  • 20. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" "Can't you give your grandma a hug?" "Get bent, Skeletor."
  • 21. "Wanna horsie!" "You can't have the horsie, because you're just a stupid baby!" "Waaaaah!" "Ahahaha loser!" Crap, even Larch wasn't this mean to Cypress! All Xander wanted to do was Cuddle a puppy, and Archie jumped right in with a Tease. ...Archie kind of rules. And now to check in with another of Orson's nice-point-deficient descendants...
  • 22. "So what's up, Spider?" "I just needed someone to talk to. Someone not Dad." "You could get together with your brother." "I wish. I've tried to talk to him a few times, and the one time he was more or less coherent, Mr. Big Jerk dragged him away from the phone. I wish I did have Reaper child powers, so I could get rid of that loser." "You need a girlfriend. Someone to pour your heart out to. You're only human, after all."
  • 23. "That's up for debate. Even if I wasn't a Reaper Child, I'd still be different. Dad... he's done a pretty good number on all of us. Cass and Del and me, we live in this world, but we don't really understand how other people work. Maybe me more than them, since I know what I am, and I always have. I don't get to have the things other people get to have. Like girlfriends. Or my own life."
  • 24. "I'm sure your father wouldn't begrudge you a girlfriend. He has one himself, after all." "I wouldn't be too certain of that. I imagine he wouldn't be happy about someone else taking up my time." "OK, so it doesn't have to be a girlfriend. You're not unattractive; you shouldn't have much trouble finding a Friend With Benefits." "I don't think I could do that, Sycamore." "Spider, you don't... You don't still have that First WooHoo Want locked, do you?" "That's none of your business!" "You've never even been in love?" "I didn't say that!"
  • 25. "Who was she? Some cute little dormie? Or some sassy little Townie?" "Andorra." "Andorra, the Prettacy heir?" "Yeah. The plan was to get her in love with me, bring her to Dad, and then kill her to force Indy to take over. And then kill him, naturally." "But that didn't happen." "I couldn't do it. I ended it and lied to Dad about it. If he knew what I'd done, he'd kill me. I loved her, and I couldn't kill her, and I couldn't let Dad kill her. So I ran out on her to keep her safe." "That's rough." "I watched her get married to Topher. I don't know why. I guess I just needed to see her happy after what I did to her." "That must have been torture." "You'd know, right?" "What do you mean?" "Malcolm and Coco, obviously." "What about Malcolm and Coco?" "The part where they're 'Malcolm and Coco.' Andorra told me before... Well, before."
  • 26. "I mean, you knew that, right? You knew that Malcolm was dating Coco. Andorra said they met at Club Dante and hooked up in the Havelock House hot tub, and you totally knew that. ...You didn't know that. You really didn't know that. Oh, geez. Social ineptitude, thy name is Spider Jerusalem. I, uh, well... Gosh, my foot is nummy delicious."
  • 27. "So Malcolm's going to be supplying the genes for Gen 6 of the Uglacy, huh? I love him, but he really is an idiot. I hoped he'd stay clear of the Legacy from now on."
  • 28. "You're not, I don't know, upset? Hurt? Angry? All of the above?" "Of course I am. But I died, and they don't know I'm alive. Malcolm thinks I'm dead, and he's moved on." "How can you be so calm? Sometimes when I think about what I could have had, I want to scream." "I knew what I was giving up. I thought about it, and I was willing to make the sacrifice. Am I happy about it? No. But I certainly knew it was a possibility, and I've had a long time to come to terms with it. It'll get easier, I promise." "It won't. Nothing's ever easy. ...I should go. Dad gets home from work in an hour, and it'll be suspicious if I'm not there." "You know I'm here if you need to talk." "Next time I need to drop a bombshell, you'll be the first person I call." Checking in with the object of Spider Jerusalem's affection...
  • 29. "So, I've had this Want locked for a while." "Something penetrated the cheese-Wants?" "Yup. Five slots of cheese, one slot of Big Purple Heart." "I think we should take care of it, then." "Hey, you're, uh... Not gonna head for the hills or anything, are you?"
  • 31. Lullaby on the first try!
  • 32. Dora likes being pregnant. A rapidly-dropping Hunger motive means more excuse to eat Grilled Cheese Sandwiches!
  • 33. Meanwhile, Topher goes Permaplat. Now he gets to job-hop for me and collect career rewards I don't have here yet. First up is Artist!
  • 34. "Catch me!" "You know, Tom, this doesn't get easier with age." "Anybody want a grilled cheese sandwich?"
  • 35. Dora's working on her novel with a snapdragon next to the computer. It appears to mostly be about grilled cheese sandwiches.
  • 36. "We're getting a grandchild pretty soon." "Any spooky-eyed insight onto whether it's a boy or a girl?" "It doesn't work like that." "Too bad."
  • 37. "Topher!" "What? ...Oh, hey, I rolled Have a Baby!"
  • 38. Ptolemaeus joins the family! And Tolly has Topher's pale blue eyes! Wheeee! He also got Raven's black hair.
  • 39. After topping Artist for me, Topher feeds Tolly a bottle and gives him a cuddle. ...Yeah, I know I don't need to top the career to get the career reward, but the bonus is nice. Not like they need the money or anything, but... it's the principle of the thing.
  • 40. Topher may not mind feeding Tolly, but he's got a big fat Fear of Changing a Diaper (Topher? You have two neat points. Messy diaper: not the least pleasant thing you've been exposed to). Tom, however, takes every opportunity to get some time in with his grandson.
  • 41. Dora finishes her novel! Well, that's one requirement down for this generation. "That's great! I'm going to go eat a grilled cheese sandwich to celebrate!"
  • 42. It's Tolly's birthday soon! This is me crossing my fingers for no Stabby Death Nose!
  • 43. ...Although I should perhaps have been crossing my fingers that Tolly didn't have to poop. And also was not Magic Levitating Baby.
  • 44. Tom gets to Tolly on Birthday 2.0. Dora, Topher, and Andrew Pearson Who Got His Ass Kicked By Elder Larch were there to wave their noisemakers.
  • 45. YES! Tolly has Topher's nose! And also mostly Topher's personality. Tolly's a Gemini 2/9/9/7/4, which is Topher's personality, only 9 outgoing instead of 3. I appear to be running out of neat freaks here, although I've still got my finger-gunners. Playful, too!
  • 46. Tolly is a cutie! Raven and Topher both rolled the Wants to teach him his skills. I have to say, that's the longest I've ever seen those Wants stick around in Raven's panel.
  • 47. Dora and Topher decided to get a start on Baby Number Two. Once again, it took on the first try.
  • 48. "Please tell me you're not going to make a lame 'bad cheese sandwich' joke." Well, in your case, it might be apropos, but no. I have to say, you've yet to eat a bad cheese sandwich, or even burn one.
  • 49. Topher tops, uh, Music, I think. At this point, he's just raking in the cash. The nice part about him having a college degree, maxed skills, and a Family Friend count of 43 is that he starts nice and high in the career paths and gets a promotion pretty much every time he goes to work. How do I deal with 43 Family Friends? The Phone Hack and autoyak, of course. Pescado FTW!
  • 50. Dora's about ready to pop with her second, and it's Tolly's birthday!
  • 51. Tolly: still cute! He looks a lot like Topher, but his face is a bit thinner, I think.
  • 52. "Hey! I'm about ready to give birth to someone else to eat most of a grilled cheese sandwich for me!"
  • 53. "MEET SOMEONE NEW +1000!" *hearts Tom*
  • 54. And the last Gen 6 kiddie is Eratosthenes. Rizzo has Dora's skin tone and hair color, but he also has Topher's pale eyes again! Hooray for genetic diversity!
  • 55. Random adorable picture of Tolly being adorable is randomly adorable.
  • 56. "Da-a-a-ad! I'm a kid; you're supposed to let me win!" "Adversity breeds character!" "No fair!"
  • 57. Dora has time to snuggle Rizzo in between sandwiches.
  • 58. Topher tops Slacker. Colin picks on a wolf again. I finally downloaded lesspetwarfare in the hopes of finding Colin a mate. He's a little cranky.
  • 59. Topher snags Rizzo for the caking. You can see Indy and Di's daughter Becca behind Tom; she followed Tolly home from school.
  • 60. TOPHER'S NOSE! And NO, I am not tempting fate by having Topher and Dora have a third kid. Rizzo has another non-Vetinari personality: Sagittarius 2/3/9/10/5. Three out of four main household Gen 6 kids have maxed Playful, and the other has 7. Three of the four of them are total slobs. And only one of the four has the Vetinari Nice Point! ...I might actually need to hire the Prettacy a maid once Raven dies.
  • 61. Topher and Raven both rolled Wants to teach Rizzo his skills. I let Topher do it, because Raven had the flu.
  • 62. Archie follows Tolly home next. There was the predictable kick-the-fallen-opponent-in-the-ribs portion of Cops 'n' Robbers on Archie's part, when he could be coaxed into playing in the first place. Tolly's not one of Archie's favorite people. The comprehensive list of people Archie likes? Coco and Cory. The End. And now for a detour to the Landgraab mansion...
  • 63. "Eddie?" "What?" "Can I sleep in here tonight?" "Why?" "There's a monster under my bed." "No, there's not." "It's dark in there and it's scary." "It's supposed to be dark. That's why it's bedtime. Anyway, you can't sleep in here; I'm going to be up reading for a while." "I hear it helps if you hold the book the right way around." "It's Borges; I'm seeing if it makes more sense this way." "Eddiiiiieeeeeee..." "Okay, okay, you can stay here until you get sleepy, but then you're going back to your own room, got it?" "Okay!"
  • 64. "Are you and Daddy going to start talking to each other again?" "That's sort of up to him." "I liked it better when everybody wasn't mad." "I liked it better when Dad wasn't dating Coco." "She's nice, Eddie." "I don't care." "Eddie?" "What?" "Will you tell me about Mommy?" "Mal..." "Pleeeeaaaaaase?" "Fine, but you gotta go to your own room after, all right?" "Deal." "Mom was..."
  • 65. "...Mom was pretty. You've seen the pictures. She had black hair, and blue eyes like ours. She always had dinner ready every night, and she always packed me a lunch in the morning. Sometimes she'd put a little note in my lunchbox, like a surprise when I got to the cafeteria, and sometimes she'd use cookie cutters to turn my sandwich into a dinosaur or an elephant. She'd help me with my homework whenever I needed it, and she'd always give me a hug when I got an A. She was always following Dad around, cleaning up after him, and then he'd catch her at it, and they'd dance, or hug each other, and she always gave him a kiss when he got home from work. She tucked me in every night, and told me she'd be there if I needed her. And... Hey, you awake over there? ...Dammit."
  • 66. "So I guess we should talk." "If you want. I won't force you." "It's freaking Mal out. I'd like to be able to sleep in my own bed by myself for a change." "Okay." "I'm not gonna like Coco." "I'm not asking you to."
  • 67. "But you are asking me to accept her." "Not even her, Eddie. Just the fact that I'm allowed to have relationships with other women. Your mother's dead. I'm not cheating on her or forgetting about her or trying to pretend like I didn't love her." "It's just... It's not fair! Why'd Mom die? Why couldn't I do anything to stop it?" "It wasn't your fault. You know that. I don't blame you. If I'd been able to find that phone thing, I could have brought her back and we wouldn't be having this conversation, but I never figured out what she did with it."
  • 68. " 'Phone thing?' What 'phone thing?' " "You must remember it. The big smoking, glowing phone thing." "The one covered in skulls? I had nightmares about that thing for weeks after it was gone!" "Cami said it could bring people back from the dead. I said it was creepy. She agreed, and said she'd get rid of it. I don't know what happened to it; I searched the mansion top to bottom after she died, and couldn't find it." "So why not just buy a new one?" "I can't--it's not up for purchase. You have to have gone to the Academie to get your hands on one." "Mom went to Sim State." "She was in a secret society of sorts there. I believe that's where she got it."
  • 69. "But you're Malcolm Landgraab IV! You must know someone, somewhere who can get you one!" "I tried, Eddie. Why would you think I didn't? I pulled every string, cashed in every favor, threw large sums of money at anyone I thought could help me, and came up dry. I finally accepted that there was nothing more I could do, and moved on. I wish I knew what to do to help you do the same." "You weren't there, Dad. You don't know what it was like. You don't know how it felt to watch her die." "If I could have traded places with you, I would have. You have to move past this. You have to let it go. Let her go." "I don't know if I can." "Eddie..." "It's late. I'm gonna go to bed. If you need me, I'll be in Mal's room." Kicking it over to the object of Eddie's distaste...
  • 70. Coco goes Permaplat! And now she Wants to be Education Minister. Been there, done that lots. She invited Malcolm and his kids over for Xander's birthday. Eddie headed for the pool table and refused to talk to anyone, but Archie made a beeline for his dad.
  • 71. "Dad! Xander's growing up tonight! Then I'll really be able to pick on him!" "Archie, that's really not something you should be looking forward to." "But he's always like, 'Waaaah, stop being mean to me, I'm nice!' It's hilarious!" "You shouldn't pick on him just because you like making him cry." "Why should I pick on him, then?" "You shouldn't pick on him at all." "Where's the fun in that?" "Some people find it fun to play nicely with their siblings." "Like who?" "...You know what, I think Mal's outside somewhere. Why don't you go play Cops 'n' Robbers?" "Why do you want me to go play with Mal?" "Because Mal kicks back."
  • 72. "Good throw, Mal! Nice and hard." "Eddie taught it to me!" "Did he teach you how to catch 'em, too?" "I'm better at the throwing part."
  • 73. Everybody decided to stand where I wanted to put the camera. Boo hiss, guests. Anyway, prepare yourselves for facial enworsening.
  • 74. *snerk* Xander's got so many of the Cory/Coco features that he's going to get a really fantastic case of Exploding Face when he gets to college. And the best part is that nose is never getting any bigger. While Xander changes the Cecil-hair, let's check in with the Prettacy...
  • 75. Bianca's the next one to follow Tolly home from school, and demonstrates her Vetinari personality on his solar plexus. Tolly is really popular; he's brought a friend home from school with him pretty much every single day, and with all the playable kids in the neighborhood right now, they've all been Vetinaris. Which is nice, because then I can let him play with them and let him make friends, and not have to worry about him being friends with a Townie kid who will never grow older than Child (no FT, remember).
  • 76. Rizzo is widely adored. Tom spends a lot of time with him, and Raven can often be found playing with him when he's on the rabbit head.
  • 77. Rizzo is pure cute. ...Yeah, that's really the only point to this slide. Rizzo = cute.
  • 78. "Still with the grilled cheese, huh?" "Yeah. Except now they're sparkly, so I can't eat as many as fast, which is kind of bumming me out." "You didn't raid the dorm fridge for the ones left there?" "Forgot. ...You gonna finish that?" "It's all yours."
  • 79. Topher tops... uh... I forget what I'm on now. Law, maybe? Sure, let's go with Law.
  • 80. Raven makes a better grandma than mother, I think. Not that she didn't pay attention to Indy, Chad, and Dora, but she definitely dotes on Rizzo and Tolly a lot more.
  • 81. "How does the horsie move?" "I don't remember. I didn't need Logic to be Hall of Famer." "So we're just making up rules?" "Sure, why not." "OK then, my little pointy-headed guy shoots your tower guy with a laser gun. ZAP!" "...Well, at least you're not trying to tell me there's a New Someone to Meet behind me."
  • 82. Topher grabs Rizzo for the ceremonial Caking. Tom Wanted a party, but Rizzo had a big fat Fear of it. Scarring the Toddler: Do Not Want.
  • 83. Rizzo is still made of cute. And everyone still loves to pay attention to him.
  • 84. Tom's lifebar was getting short, so I had him call up Indy and Chad and invite them over with their respective children on Saturday afternoon. He's a Popularity Sim to his core, so I figured he'd want to Make Friends with all of his grandkids. Plus Tolly and Rizzo could get to know their cousins better as well.
  • 85. Tom started a water balloon fight. It's probably the best way for a large group of Sims to build relationships without the risk of minuses flying everywhere. That's Tolly on the left and Rizzo on the right...
  • 86. ...Bianca in the white and Fiona in the green...
  • 87. ...and Becca in the pink and Simon not in his outerwear. I think I gave Xander the same outfit as Simon. However, I doubt anyone will confuse them. Ever. Raven eventually joined in the fun as well, and by the time Dora served up a couple platters of grilled cheese sandwiches, everybody was friends. All in all, Tom's last Saturday was very fulfilling.
  • 88. The Uglacy puppies grow up! This is Maggie. She has the coolest coat pattern I've ever seen.
  • 89. That's Morgan on the left and Sid on the right. I sold them both to Gerry, who'd been Wanting a pet for a really long time. Sid and Morgan were close, so I hated to break them up. Gerry being Gerry, he stuck around for a while, spinning on the Dance Sphere and soaking in the hot tub.
  • 90. "Archie! Congratulations on getting that A+!" "Thanks, Grandpa!" "Want a hug?" "No, not really."
  • 91. "Please hug me." "AAUUUUGH! Make it stop trying to touch me!" "I'm your grandmother. I want to be your friend." "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers!" "I'm not a stranger! I'm your grandmother!" "BAD TOUCHING! BAD TOUCHING! HELP!" Maybe if she weren't trying to make friends in her nightie...
  • 92. Look, I said Gerry stuck around for a while, didn't I? Long enough for the boys to go to bed and wake up. Gerry's a bit of a Dance Sphere addict.
  • 93. "Hey, kid, did anyone ever tell you you look like my Uncle Malcolm?" "He's my Dad." "Wooo! That's some kinda freaky." "So's your face." "...But you're definitely related to Larch." "Your mom." "Actually, yeah, she was." "...Nice purse. What do you keep in there, dollies and hair bows?" "...The remains of the last small child to tick me off." "Well played, Daffodil. Well played." "It's 'Geranium,' short stuff. I put up with your great-grandpa and his sister in college; you don't intimidate me. Zee coming into my bedroom and relaxing on the bed next to me while I slept--now that was frightening."
  • 96. "Look, Xander, it's Dad!" "Really?" "Yeah, he's right over there!"
  • 98. "Archie! Cheating's mean!" "Duh." "I'm so going to tell someone on you!" "Like they're gonna be surprised."
  • 99. Archie grows up in the middle of the night, platinum off a Gain a Skill Point Want. Topher was there because he followed Helen home from work. I guess that means he's in Military now. Helen got demoted, so I had her retire.
  • 100. Archie looks... ...oddly hot, I think. I mean, yeah, those are the Landgraab brows and Cory's gigantic lumpy schnoz, and Cory's mouth, and the Beaker chin (it has to be, because he HAS a chin, and Cory and Malcolm don't) but they all somehow manage to work. Archimedes is a Sagittarius 2/7/8/10/1 and rolled Knowledge (yawn) with the LTW to Max 7 Skills. Easy enough, and he'll be Permaplat when I switch him to a Social Aspiration in college.
  • 101. Xander and Cory go out and play in the snow. They started out with a snowball fight. You can see the remnants of a snow angel, and then they proceeded to build a non-evil snowman. Cory seems to like having grandkids. He's not particularly playful, but he IS reasonably outgoing, so he doesn't mind playing with Archie and Xander.
  • 102. Archie enjoys the snow by making crankyface at the doofus who followed him home from school. Seriously, Random Teen Townie, I put him in a skull shirt FOR A REASON. It's like the rattle on a rattlesnake or the spines on a blowfish. Next time, TAKE THE HINT.
  • 103. And the next day, it was Helen's time to go. She was platinum off a date with Cory. "All right, dudette, where's the one I'm here to get?" Right behind you, Spicoli. "Whoa. With the face, I thought she was, like, already dead. Heinous."
  • 105. "Are there puppies in the afterlife? Lots and lots of puppies?" "All the puppies you want, as long as you stop smiling at me. You're harshing my buzz." "Waaaaaah!" I actually thought Helen was going to die the NEXT day, so Cory was at work and Rocky wasn't there. Sorry, Helen!
  • 106. "Hey, Mom! Rock Paper Scissors?" "Sure! What's going on in that corner?" "Beats me!" "Your brother's kinda crying." "Meh, nice points. Someone probably made fun of his shirt or something."
  • 107. Coco did eventually cry. Archie, not so much. And no, I did not make up the Rock Paper Scissors thing. Helen was still fading away, and Coco and Archie decided to play Rock Paper Scissors instead of mourning.
  • 108. Cory cried seven times before he finally stopped and made it into the house. I feel bad that I misjudged when Helen was going; I know Cory would have liked to have been able to say goodbye. "Three first dates?" Not now, Cory.
  • 109. Helen Smith Vetinari, Gen 4 Uglacy spouse. Helen lived 72 days. She was a Family Sim with a pet-related LTW and never went Permaplat, although she did die platinum thanks to a series of dates with Cory. The gender-swapped Loki Beaker clone has 2 children, Morocco and Monaco, and 2 grandchildren, Archimedes and Anaximander. Helen left money to 12 people, including $20K to Cory, $7800 to Coco, $9500 to Rocky, and $1300 to Xander. She actually did give an inheritance to Archie, because her relationship towards him was still in the 40s, but I imagine it was on the level of a half-done crossword puzzle and a piece of twine. Helen, annoying LTW aside, you were cool, and you seemed to always get the short end of the stick from me, and I kinda feel bad about that. I couldn't have asked for more from you than the brows and the chin and the Skeletor cheeks, but you were easygoing and never complained about your Aspiration rarely being even in the high green. So, sorry, 'cause you sort of deserved more from me.
  • 110. The proof that Helen did actually die platinum! Christy's grave is turned around because she was haunting when I took this. I flipped the Day/Night toggle in Build Mode and clicked the Design Tool to get rid of the gridlines. So there's the Parade Of Spouses: Helen, Rosemarie, Christy, and PseudoBruty, who is a much less annoying ghost now that she has no reason to come into the house. I still haven't gotten Isaac and Orson's pictures re-painted. The neighborhood they were extracted to has a glitchy lot with invisible Sims, and it happens to be their lot, so I need to dump everyone into a clean neighborhood and start again. I'll get their portraits re-painted by Gen 10, I promise! And now to sneak back over to Malcolm's...
  • 111. Never bothered to change the locks, I see, Malcolm. Wishful thinking, or blissful ignorance? Oh, Mal... Those are definitely the Vetinari features you're sporting there, kid. Except your nose. You got your daddy's nose. And just look at that haircut--what have your dad and your brother been teaching you? I'm sorry I can't be here for you. But I know my cousin, and he wouldn't hesitate to strike at me through you, or care if he took the rest of you out when he killed me. I knew what I'd be sacrificing. I guess I just didn't realize what it would cost the rest of you.
  • 112. Poor Eddie. If there'd been another way... But your father would have tried to save me, and I knew you wouldn't know what to do. And you had to be there, or else Mal would have gotten taken by the Social Worker. I suppose it seems silly to care about something like that, given what I was doing. I'm sorry. I never meant for you to take it so badly. You wear your three nice points very differently than I wear mine, and I should have known that. Boss... When this is all over, it better have been worth it. Time to check in on what Sycamore's fighting for...
  • 113. ...The Prettacy. Tolly tries to grow up, but Jeannie has other ideas. Luckily for me, he wasn't Fearing See Ghost. Tolly has the roughest birthdays!
  • 114. Still, though, Tolly managed to grow up well. Very, very well. Ptolemaeus is a Gemini 2/9/9/7/4 who rolled Fortune! Yay Fortune! So he's still looking good as a candidate for heir. His LTW is 5 Top Level Businesses. If he ends up being the spare, though, I'll re-roll it to something less labor-intensive. All my spares and their spouses have gotten Permaplat (except for Jane, of course), but I'm not about to do that LTW for a spare when it's so easy to re- roll a LTW. If he's the heir, I'll get it done. Depends on what Rizzo rolls now!
  • 115. "Whooo! Man cannot live on grilled cheese alone, I guess!" "Ptolemaeus Vetinari, stop being disgusting right this minute!" "Take it easy, Raven, he's just a bit of a slob!" "My nine neat points refuse to accept that my grandson is sloppy!" "We both are, Grandma!" "She knows that, Tol, she just likes to pretend."
  • 116. Topher tops Military. I missed the little icon thingy. There are other pressing matters to attend to.
  • 117. "Is this really it?" "I think it is." "Do you regret any of it, Tom? You could have lived forever." "If it wasn't with you, it wasn't really living." "Have we got time for one more?"
  • 118. "Just try and stop me."
  • 119. "All right, you old bastard. Time to explain yourself. Why did you make me do this?"
  • 120. "You have gifts." "Thanks to you, if I recall correctly." "You've used them to help your family in the past. Now I'm asking you to use them to help mine." "Why should I help you? All you've done is kill me once and take my husband before his time." "Tom got what everyone gets. He got a lifetime." "But he would have had a longer one if not for that vision--the 'gift' you referred to before. Your doing. So why? Why did he have to die early?" "We Reapers are only welcome when someone is dying." "You're never welcome." "A poor choice of words, perhaps. Nevertheless, I could only speak to you when death is at hand. I could not be sure you would be present for the death of your parents, and I assumed you would rather lose a husband than a child." "You're not even here for Tom." "No. But I am permitted here while his Reaper is." "Then say what you wanted to say before you run out of time. What do you want from me?"
  • 122. "Your son? Spider Jerusalem? Cypress's son? The son he keeps waving at my family like a weapon? The son he keeps using to threaten us with total destruction? What kind of help could I give him--and why would I want to?" "He is alone. He is angry. He does not understand what he is." "I'm sure he knows perfectly well that he's a Reaper Child." "But he does not understand what that means."
  • 123. "...I see. What am I supposed to do?" "You will know, should you choose to help. There will be... limitations... as there always are. All I ask is that you do what you can. He may not be willing to listen, but perhaps he will remember, and someday, he will understand." "And trying to make my enemy see what he truly is will help my family how?" "Have you not spoken of the connection between you?" " 'Child in Death and child of Death/While they stand opposed, balance is maintained.' But if I help him, won't that mean we're not opposed?" "The balance will be lost shortly, regardless." "By my death, yes, I'm aware." "The loss of that balance can work for you or against you. Ultimately, the choice is yours."
  • 124. "Why do you care what happens? The hippie idiot over there will come for all of us in our time. Our lives are so many bits of ephemera to you. Why bother to try to help my family? What difference could it possibly make to you?"
  • 125. "Do you not care what the future holds for your children? Why should I be any different? Unlike you, I can do little for my son--but I can do this. I cannot demand that you help him; I have no means to force your hand. I can ask, and hope, and trust that you will extend to my family the same compassion you have always shown yours."
  • 126. "Please, Raven. Do what I cannot. Help my son. For his sake... and the sake of the Legacy."
  • 127. Thomas Kearney Vetinari, Gen 4 Prettacy spouse, lived 78 days. He was a Popularity Sim who got Permaplat by becoming a Hall of Famer, although that didn't occur until after he was an Elder, and he continued to make friends until the day he died. Tom had three children, India, Chad, and Andorra, and six grandchildren, Fiona, Simon, Bianca, Rebecca, Ptolemaeus, and Eratosthenes. Tom left inheritance to 17 people, including $20,000 to Raven, $10,000 to Dora, $8,900 to Chad, and $2,350 to Becca and Rizzo. Tom, you rocked. Under the sweater and shorts and doofy haircut was a naked hot-tubber just waiting to see the light of day. I'm sure Michelle and Di were glad I married you in, and my only regret is that Dora did not get your nose. You were easy, you were fun, you were a good dad and grandfather, and you loved Raven like nothing else. Thanks, Tom. Miss ya already.
  • 128. And there's the first Platstone I've had at the Prettacy that's not Knowledge, Pleasure, or Family. I've already got Topher and Dora's portraits up, but Isaac's is still MIA. Next time: Raven's choice, the end of Gen 4, and the Teenifying of Xander and Rizzo.