Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 14.5: If This Be False.

Last time, romance abounded as Gen 5's co...
"Well? How did it go?"
"It went fine, I guess. It's not like I've ever done this before or anything."
"Honestly, Cypress. Why'd you send a boy to do a man's job?"
"They know what I look like. I can't exactly seduce the heir ...
"Tiffany. I'd say it's good to see you again, but I hate to lie. And don't think the 'boy' comment
escaped my notice. Look...
"It's simple. You get the Prettacy heir to fall in love with you. You tell her you want her to meet your
family, and you b...
"They can't bring her back if we destroy her urn."
"I guess you've thought of everything."
"Of course he has! Your father ...
"Hey, Cy? Since Raven was dead and resurrected, do you think that's why she has the power to
protect the Prettacy from you...
"Beats me. I got no idea how she feels about me."
"Well, what are you waiting for? I've waited long enough for my revenge!"
"Don't push me, Dad."
"If I rush it, there's a chance the whole thing will go up in smoke. If that happens, there's no going
back. I don't get a...
"You should have done this yourself, Cy. You know what they say about wanting something done
right."
"Believe me, if I cou...
"What's to enjoy, anyway? My fake relationship with some single-minded, vacuous cheese freak?
Please--this is business, no...
"So you're not falling for her, then?"
"Clearly you've developed a sense of humor overnight."
"I mean, me? Falling in love with Andorra? Don't make me laugh."
"You're not tempted to tell the Legacy brats my plans?"
"As if."
"Why would I try to protect those naive little fools? What have they ever done for me?"
"So you're not tempted? Not even a little?"
"Give me some credit--I didn't raise an idiot."
"I'm a Reaper Child. I'm not even human. I was made to destroy, and there's nothing I want more
than to see that ridiculou...
"And whatever you might think, I'm not stupid enough to let her mean anything to me."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

It's business as usual at Havelock House. Jordan and Cam have popped by again, as they do...
"Indy, I'm sorry I slapped you after you made us fall in love and we had to break up, and I flirted
with that guy so you w...
"Coco, I'm sorry I hugged you and made us fall in love, which necessitated the breaking up and the slapping."
Anything els...
"Ellis, I love you."
"I love you too, Andie. A lot."
"You know, you're the only one who calls me that."
"Does it bother yo...
"Anything I can do to make you happy."
"What can I do to make you happy?"
"You don't need to do anything but be yourself."...
"You're... kind."
"Why'd you go there first?"
"What do you mean?"
"Most guys would have gone with 'pretty'."
"It's not tha...
"Was it some girl, Ell?"
"I don't understand."
"The one who hurt you."
"No. It wasn't a girl."
"Good. Because I'd hate to ...
"But it's someone."
"It doesn't matter."
"I wish I could make it better."
"You do. Believe me, you do. Even if you don't k...
"It's not a complete mystery, Ell."
"Mmm-hmmm."
"WAAAAAGH!"
"Joo skadabee, Chad!"
"Coco... hot tub... so much... skin..."
"Use your words, little bro."
"Coco... a guy... hot tub..."
...
"Focus, Chad! Who was Coco in the hot tub with?"
"...All the... skin..."
"So there was definitely WooHooing?"
"Skiiiiinnnn...
"Hey, Michelle? It's Indy. Yeah, um, apparently Chad walked in on Coco and some mystery man in
the hot tub, and he's a lit...
"Dora! Chad just caught Coco in the hot tub with some guy! Wanna go sneak a peek?"
"Dude! That's my sister!"
"I don't know...
"To the balcony!"
"Um, guys? That's my sister, and I don't think I'm really comfortable with this, and--"
"Shut up, Rocky. So that's him? I ...
"...that's that Malcolm guy who owns Club Dante."



Muahahahaha...
"It's okay, Chad."
"...Skin..."
"The bad skin is gone now. It's all gone."
"...Eye bleach..."
"You don't need eye bleach."...
"So... horrible..."
"I know. It's all over now."
"I am never leaving the house again."
"But that will endanger your 4.0."
...
"Hey, Joe-Bob! Back again, I see! Help yourself--I just made a fresh platter of grilled cheese
sandwiches!"
"It's 'Topher'...
"So, I was thinking, Coco talks a lot about Club Dante, and, uh, it sounds like it could be kinda,
you know, fun, maybe, i...
"Nursing a little unrequited love, are we, Christopher?"
"I don't... uh..."
"Topher, Topher, Topher... The only one who can't see that you're crazy about Dora is Dora."
"I just do...
"So you're saying I should just tell her how I feel? But I can't seem to make my brain hook up with my mouth
when she's ar...
"So who are you hung up on, anyway? Coco?"
"Rocky."
"Isn't Rocky straight?"
"Alas, my problem is just as knotty as yours. ...
Indy's having it rough too. I spy some Worryhands!
"Look, I'm not a Knowledge dork here, all right? I need to throw a part...
"Sweet! ...You're just going to delete it from my Inventory, aren't you?"
Yup.
"Well, at least I get to keep the Aspiratio...
"What's on your mind, Andie?"
"Just... my father was right."
"About what?"
"He told me that when I found the right person,...
"Ell, why won't you tell me what's bothering you?"
"I'm afraid if I told you, things would change. I don't want that. I do...
"I want at least one thing to change. We've been dating for a while now, and I think it's time we
took our relationship to...
"I don't know what to say. Andie, you are amazing... No one's ever looked at me the way you do,
made me feel the way you d...
"I love you, Ellis."
"I love you too." And if I can't walk away, one of us will end up dead.
I can't do this. I can't...
"Ell, what--?"
"I'm sorry. I can't. I'm so sorry. I just... I'm sorry."
I'm sorry...
"ELLIS!"
"Dora, what's going on? What happened?"
"I don't know! He just left!"
"Coco, cool it! It doesn't matter what happened."
"Rocky, come on!"
"Okay. Uh, where are we going?"
"We're gonna go find that guy and kick his ass and drag whatever's left ...
"Was it me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? I thought he loved me!"
"Dora, no! Of course it wasn't you!"
...
"So? Are we close?"
"No good. The plan's ruined."

If he even suspects I'm lying, I'm dead.
"What? How could it go from 'nearly complete' to 'complete failure' in one day?"
"Fucking Cow Mascot, Dad. You know they do that thing where they flirt with random people, and
it tried to flirt with me j...
"Did you at least attack the mascot?"
"Ellis is supposed to be a nice guy. It would have blown my cover to beat up the Cow...
"Game's over, Dad. Time to stop pretending."
"How's Dora doing, Chad?"
"Pretty bad. Last night, she had spaghetti for dinner. And I saw her eating pancakes for breakfa...
"So has Indy found out anything about that Ellis jerk?"
"No. It's weird; Indy and Rocky have been asking around, and no on...
"Um... Dora... Hi."
"Topher? What are you wearing?"
"You said you wanted a White Knight to make you feel safe. Well, maybe I'm shy and I'm not
exciting like that Ellis guy wa...
"Dora? Um... I'm pretty sure this is the part where you're supposed to talk."
"Why'd you do this?"
"Because I want a chanc...
"Okay then. I'm just gonna pick up my remaining shreds of dignity and go. I'd sneak out, but the
armor really doesn't lend...
"I'll see you around, maybe."
"Topher, wait! Please? I'm sorry."
"You don't have to go, all right?"
"I don't have to go?"
"You don't have to go. Because you are shy and it must have taken...
Yup, trying for Social Bunnies again. C'mon Rabbit Romance!
Blue Social Bunny!
...Yellow Social Bunny.

PHAIL.
"Dora, so, I'm graduating soon and I won't be around as much."
"Gosh, is it that time already?"
"Yeah. I was sort of hopin...
"I know, but... I love you. And I just wanted to say that before I left."
"That's so sweet. I'll miss you, Topher."
"...Ye...
"So, Dora, seems like things are going well between you and Topher."
"Yeah, he's kinda sweet, I guess. And he's crazy abou...
"No, Dora! That's not fair! Topher's a decent guy despite the lack of naked hot-tubbing, and he
deserves better than some ...
"What do you want me to do, Indy? He's cute and he's willing to do what needs to be done."
"He deserves better than this. ...
In a move that's pure "Indy," he stirs up a little trouble and then hits the road.

Indy: "Hey! Dad! I promised I'd invite...
"Yikes! Dora's naked in the hot tub!"
"Hahaha, you're shy!"
"Yikes! Dad's naked in the hot tub!"
"Wooo! Roof Raiser!"
"Gosh, I'm trying to decide if I'm too nice to laugh. Turns out the answer is 'No!' Hahahahahaha,
you look ridiculous!"
"T...
Anyway, Chad's up next.

"Mom, is Dad going to sit in the hot tub naked at my party too?"
"Of course he is, Chad. Of cours...
"Michelle, it's finally time to take care of this Want that we've both had locked since the beginning
of college! I love y...
Michelle: "Maybe?"
Chad: "Why?"
Michelle: "Er... The passionate hate I feel for him is nothing compared to the fire I have...
"Of course I'll marry you, Chad! And we shall have many beautiful babies!"
"Hooray!"

And with the proposal, the party was...
Oh, Chad. You look like such a hurtful stereotype.

Final tally: Chad graduates with a 4.0 and became Big Man on Campus. H...
YAY! Blue Social Bunny!
Oh, IT'S ON NOW, Yellow Social Bunny.

Rocky? You've just been volunteered. If Dora's next Social Bunny is blue or pink, y...
Yellow. Dammit!
Yellow. But this means that Rocky and Dora's will have to be blue and pink!
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT.

Apparently there are at least TWO Yellow Social Bunnies. This may explain some of my problems.

Sh...
I finally get a blue one.
And a pink one.

And then it was time for Final Exams, and when Dora and Coco left, the Social Bunnies
disappeared, and no...
"Yeah, looks like I'm outta here! I hope I end up in some sweet bachelor pad back in Riverblossom
Hills. I guess I shouldn...
"Are you okay, Cam? You seem a little weird. More so than usual, you nice, shy little geek."
"It's fine. Really."
"Look, b...
"Mmmmph?"
"Oh dear. I suspect that didn't un-complicate matters."
"Cam, what--? Have you been mooning after me this whole time?"
"So...
"Cam, you're one of my best friends! I wouldn't have gotten angry with you for telling me!"
"I didn't think you'd get angr...
"Any experiment requires validity in the form of repeated testing."
"I think I like where you're going with this."
OK, I know I said there weren't going to be any Vetinari/Vetinari romances in the Dualegacy, but I couldn't help
it! Cam h...
Rocky grows up in what looks to be the same outfit that Isaac grew up in when he graduated. It
could definitely be so much...
Coco's party's next.

Topher: "Hooray! Party!"
Michelle: "Is Chad invited? Chad is hot!"
Rocky: DIRTY JOKE
Cam: "Rocky, wh...
Flavius really is a bit of a doofus. He'd probably be happier Meeting Someone New +1000 with
everyone else at the party, b...
Coco manages to grow up into something decent! Hooray! I won't even have to make her change
right away!

Final tally: Mona...
"Topher!"
"Wow, Dora. Hi. Nice to see you too."
"This place is so creepy with no one here! It's all lonely and empty and i...
"It's not just my roommates I miss, if that's what you're worried about. I miss you too. I kinda miss
you more than I miss...
"...I want you to marry me."
"Dora, I... Of course I will!"
"So if you're gonna be my White Knight forever, what does that make me?"
"The Fair Maiden, I suppose. What else do you cal...
But time ticks on, and soon enough, it's time for Cam and Jordan to move in and for Dora to
graduate!

"Indy, thanks for y...
With two three-bolt couples (Michelle and Chad and Cam and Rocky) and a two-bolt couple (Dora
and Topher), the party easil...
Dora grows up into some non-awful clothes!

Final tally: Andorra graduates with a 4.0. She became Big Woman on Campus, had...
Andie, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

I didn't know how easy it would be to fall in love with you.

Being with you, spending t...
I'm sorry...
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5
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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5

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In which there is much romance, a broken heart, and Social Bunny learnings.

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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 14 5

  1. 1. Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 14.5: If This Be False. Last time, romance abounded as Gen 5's college years got underway, as an ill-conceived Leap Into Arms between Prettacy spare Indy and Uglacy heir Coco led to the two of them falling in love, necessitating a session of slapping, Prettacy cousin Cameroon became besotted with Uglacy spare Rocky, Prettacy spare Chad continued his relationship with his SimSelf girlfriend, frequent visitor Topher got tongue-tied around Prettacy heir Dora, and Dora's mystery boyfriend Ellis proved to be other than who he'd claimed to be.
  2. 2. "Well? How did it go?"
  3. 3. "It went fine, I guess. It's not like I've ever done this before or anything."
  4. 4. "Honestly, Cypress. Why'd you send a boy to do a man's job?" "They know what I look like. I can't exactly seduce the heir if they know it's me, can I?"
  5. 5. "Tiffany. I'd say it's good to see you again, but I hate to lie. And don't think the 'boy' comment escaped my notice. Look, I get it, all right? I wasn't the best choice, but it had to be me. But I'm still a little unclear on how this is supposed to work."
  6. 6. "It's simple. You get the Prettacy heir to fall in love with you. You tell her you want her to meet your family, and you bring her here. When she shows up, we kill her, forcing India to become the heir. You've said that Chad's dating a non-Legacy legal SimSelf who won't take kindly to being dumped, so India's the only real spare. Once we kill him, the Prettacy's done for and the Dualegacy's failed, and the Uglacy will be ripe for the plucking." "Pardon me for pointing out the flaw in that plan, but we know the Prettacy has a Bone Phone. I told you Andorra mentioned that Jeannie died when she was pregnant with Raven, and Jonquil resurrected them both. Can't do that without a Bone Phone. Raven will just give it to one of the boys, and they'll use it to resurrect Andorra. We won't have accomplished anything."
  7. 7. "They can't bring her back if we destroy her urn." "I guess you've thought of everything." "Of course he has! Your father is brilliantly Eeevil." "Tiffany trusts me. Why don't you?" "I do, Dad. I'm just not a fawning, trampy sycophant."
  8. 8. "Hey, Cy? Since Raven was dead and resurrected, do you think that's why she has the power to protect the Prettacy from you?" "Don't be silly. If that were the case, every idiot who ever got resurrected would have some." "Yeah, but maybe it's different because she wasn't born yet." "Nonsense. Raven's human, and there must be some rational explanation for what she can do. Her abilities are irrelevant to this discussion. The issue at hand is the relationship between the heir and Spider Jerusalem. And how would you categorize that relationship, my Eeevil progeny?"
  9. 9. "Beats me. I got no idea how she feels about me."
  10. 10. "Well, what are you waiting for? I've waited long enough for my revenge!" "Don't push me, Dad."
  11. 11. "If I rush it, there's a chance the whole thing will go up in smoke. If that happens, there's no going back. I don't get a do-over here, you know. She's a little gun-shy, and who can blame her, with the way you keep bursting into her house and threatening to kill her family. So, yeah, Dad, she's a little hesitant about letting people into her life, especially as deeply as you want me to get. Andorra's not exactly welcoming me with open arms here."
  12. 12. "You should have done this yourself, Cy. You know what they say about wanting something done right." "Believe me, if I could have, I would have. And I'd have enjoyed it too, although Spider Jerusalem doesn't seem to be having a good time."
  13. 13. "What's to enjoy, anyway? My fake relationship with some single-minded, vacuous cheese freak? Please--this is business, not pleasure."
  14. 14. "So you're not falling for her, then?" "Clearly you've developed a sense of humor overnight."
  15. 15. "I mean, me? Falling in love with Andorra? Don't make me laugh."
  16. 16. "You're not tempted to tell the Legacy brats my plans?" "As if."
  17. 17. "Why would I try to protect those naive little fools? What have they ever done for me?"
  18. 18. "So you're not tempted? Not even a little?" "Give me some credit--I didn't raise an idiot."
  19. 19. "I'm a Reaper Child. I'm not even human. I was made to destroy, and there's nothing I want more than to see that ridiculous house of cards come tumbling down."
  20. 20. "And whatever you might think, I'm not stupid enough to let her mean anything to me."
  21. 21. Meanwhile, back at the ranch... It's business as usual at Havelock House. Jordan and Cam have popped by again, as they do approximately six hours after they leave, and stick around for a couple of days. Despite Rocky's sour expression, he's actually good friends with Jordan. And of course, Cam is staying within five feet of Rocky at all times.
  22. 22. "Indy, I'm sorry I slapped you after you made us fall in love and we had to break up, and I flirted with that guy so you wouldn't be in love with me anymore."
  23. 23. "Coco, I'm sorry I hugged you and made us fall in love, which necessitated the breaking up and the slapping." Anything else you'd like to add? "Uh... Supreme Nerd, I'm sorry I made Coco and I fall in love, which made you *headdesk* yourself into a concussion, and I promise I won't do it again. Probably." I'd feel so much better if you hadn't added the "probably." Note to self: Do NOT let Indy Greet Michelle when she visits. Well, this got them back to being friends, at least, even if they've both still got a quarter-thumbnail's worth of Furious to work off. And you know Indy and Coco and Rocky and Cam aren't the only ones with a complicated relationship...
  24. 24. "Ellis, I love you." "I love you too, Andie. A lot." "You know, you're the only one who calls me that." "Does it bother you?" "Why don't you call me 'Dora' like everyone else?" "I don't know. I guess I just think of 'Dora' as being some little old lady who spends all day in a housedress and slippers, drinking weak tea and eating macaroons, and making sure her eleven cats are well-fed. That's not you. You're more 'espresso and imported Swiss chocolate' than 'tea and cookies'." "Are you flattering me?" "I certainly hope so. I enjoy having someone to flatter." "Well, that's a good thing, since I'm enjoying the flattery."
  25. 25. "Anything I can do to make you happy." "What can I do to make you happy?" "You don't need to do anything but be yourself." "Still with the flattery." "Maybe so, but that's not the same thing as not meaning it." "What's so great about me?"
  26. 26. "You're... kind." "Why'd you go there first?" "What do you mean?" "Most guys would have gone with 'pretty'." "It's not that you aren't pretty. Obviously you are. But shouldn't 'kind' matter more?" "Why does it matter more to you?" "Is it wrong that it does?"
  27. 27. "Was it some girl, Ell?" "I don't understand." "The one who hurt you." "No. It wasn't a girl." "Good. Because I'd hate to lose that 'kind' label when I hunted her down and kicked her ass. ...Seriously, though. Sometimes I look at you when you don't think I'm looking and you seem so sad." "I don't mean to." "You can tell me. You know that." "It's not you, Andie. It's never you."
  28. 28. "But it's someone." "It doesn't matter." "I wish I could make it better." "You do. Believe me, you do. Even if you don't know why."
  29. 29. "It's not a complete mystery, Ell." "Mmm-hmmm."
  30. 30. "WAAAAAGH!"
  31. 31. "Joo skadabee, Chad!" "Coco... hot tub... so much... skin..." "Use your words, little bro." "Coco... a guy... hot tub..." "Wait, what?"
  32. 32. "Focus, Chad! Who was Coco in the hot tub with?" "...All the... skin..." "So there was definitely WooHooing?" "Skiiiiinnnnnnn..." "...Dammit..."
  33. 33. "Hey, Michelle? It's Indy. Yeah, um, apparently Chad walked in on Coco and some mystery man in the hot tub, and he's a little... catatonic... right now. Maybe you could come over and talk him down off the ledge? ...Great, just let yourself in."
  34. 34. "Dora! Chad just caught Coco in the hot tub with some guy! Wanna go sneak a peek?" "Dude! That's my sister!" "I don't know, Indy. I mean, shouldn't we give her some privacy?" "The hot tub's in the yard! If she cared that much about privacy, she could have gone to her bedroom!" "You make a good point." "Your bedroom window overlooks the side yard, right?" "The bathroom wall blocks the view." "Hey! My sister!" "But you know, Indy, the balcony totally hangs out over the hot tub."
  35. 35. "To the balcony!"
  36. 36. "Um, guys? That's my sister, and I don't think I'm really comfortable with this, and--" "Shut up, Rocky. So that's him? I don't know who that is. I've never seen him before." "Oh, I know who he is." "Spill it, sis!" "Yeah, I know him..."
  37. 37. "...that's that Malcolm guy who owns Club Dante." Muahahahaha...
  38. 38. "It's okay, Chad." "...Skin..." "The bad skin is gone now. It's all gone." "...Eye bleach..." "You don't need eye bleach." MichelleFobbs writes the Planetary Apocalypse. Check out the forums at boolprop.com for all your Sim story needs.
  39. 39. "So... horrible..." "I know. It's all over now." "I am never leaving the house again." "But that will endanger your 4.0." "I'll wear a blindfold and get a guide dog. Or a Helper Monkey. Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" "You're so adorably shy." "You're the best girlfriend ever."
  40. 40. "Hey, Joe-Bob! Back again, I see! Help yourself--I just made a fresh platter of grilled cheese sandwiches!" "It's 'Topher'." "What's Topher?" "My name. It's 'Topher'." "Not 'Joe-Bob'?" "No." "Huh."
  41. 41. "So, I was thinking, Coco talks a lot about Club Dante, and, uh, it sounds like it could be kinda, you know, fun, maybe, if you were, you know, there with the right person, and, like, if you wanted, we could maybe go, sorta, this weekend or something, uh, kinda like?" "Oh, I'm not much for clubbing. You should totally ask Coco, though, I bet she'd love to go with you!" "That wasn't really--" "Is that the time? Whoops! I totally have to go to my final! Catch ya later!"
  42. 42. "Nursing a little unrequited love, are we, Christopher?"
  43. 43. "I don't... uh..." "Topher, Topher, Topher... The only one who can't see that you're crazy about Dora is Dora." "I just don't know what to do to get her to notice how I feel! Every time I try talking to her that there's not some distraction, I get so tongue-tied that nothing comes out." "Dora's pretty wrapped up in Ellis. Even if you could talk to her, do you think she'd break up with him and go out with you?" "I don't know. Probably not, I guess. But at least she'd know, right?" "My cousin's not one for subtle hints."
  44. 44. "So you're saying I should just tell her how I feel? But I can't seem to make my brain hook up with my mouth when she's around! Maybe I could write a letter. Or an e-mail. Candygram?" "We're shy people, you and I. We don't really go in for the big, grand, over-the-top gestures. They make us uncomfortable. We hint, and we wait, and we hope, and occasionally we sigh, and that is what we do." "Yeah, but does that actually work?" "Unrequited love is unrequited." "So our basic strategy is completely ineffective?" "Yes." "And we keep doing it because... ?" "Shy." "This sucks." "Indeed it does."
  45. 45. "So who are you hung up on, anyway? Coco?" "Rocky." "Isn't Rocky straight?" "Alas, my problem is just as knotty as yours. Single but straight versus straight but not single--no easy solutions, my friend."
  46. 46. Indy's having it rough too. I spy some Worryhands! "Look, I'm not a Knowledge dork here, all right? I need to throw a party! Or buy an expensive musical instrument that the Creativity-less Dormies will attempt to play until all our ears bleed." I am not giving you any more instruments. The piano is quite enough, thank you. "Bar costing at least $1000?" Okay.
  47. 47. "Sweet! ...You're just going to delete it from my Inventory, aren't you?" Yup. "Well, at least I get to keep the Aspiration points." And you'll just roll the "Expensive Bar" Want again tomorrow.
  48. 48. "What's on your mind, Andie?" "Just... my father was right." "About what?" "He told me that when I found the right person, the future wouldn't seem so scary. And suddenly, I'm not afraid of what comes next." "What could you have to be afraid of?" "I suppose I should tell you... There's this crazy guy, who's a really, really distant relative, and he wants to destroy the Dualegacy. He's got a Reaper Child, and he's busted into the house and threatened my life. They're out there, the two of them, just waiting to hurt me, and it used to scare me. But since I fell in love with you, it doesn't. I know you'd never let them hurt me." "...Yeah." "So that's my dirty little secret. What's yours?" "I don't..."
  49. 49. "Ell, why won't you tell me what's bothering you?" "I'm afraid if I told you, things would change. I don't want that. I don't want to risk what we have. I don't want you to not love me anymore." "Who says change has to be a bad thing? Don't you trust me?" "Of course I do! It's nothing to do with trust. Please just believe that you can't do anything more than you've already done. It's not a problem that has a solution; at least, not one you can provide."
  50. 50. "I want at least one thing to change. We've been dating for a while now, and I think it's time we took our relationship to the next level. I know we said we'd talk about it when the time came, and it's come. And I want to--and I don't mean talking." "I... I don't..." "I want you to be my First WooHoo, Ellis. I can't imagine sharing that with anyone else."
  51. 51. "I don't know what to say. Andie, you are amazing... No one's ever looked at me the way you do, made me feel the way you do, cared about me the way you do."
  52. 52. "I love you, Ellis." "I love you too." And if I can't walk away, one of us will end up dead.
  53. 53. I can't do this. I can't...
  54. 54. "Ell, what--?" "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm so sorry. I just... I'm sorry."
  55. 55. I'm sorry...
  56. 56. "ELLIS!"
  57. 57. "Dora, what's going on? What happened?" "I don't know! He just left!" "Coco, cool it! It doesn't matter what happened."
  58. 58. "Rocky, come on!" "Okay. Uh, where are we going?" "We're gonna go find that guy and kick his ass and drag whatever's left back here and make the quivering mass of hurt-my-sister jelly beg for forgiveness." "Cool."
  59. 59. "Was it me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? I thought he loved me!" "Dora, no! Of course it wasn't you!" "Chad's right; no way is this your fault. I'm sure he just got scared for a totally not-you related reason." "But why did he run?" "Dora, it'll be okay. Please stop crying. Because I'm nice, and I'm gonna get all sniffly too."
  60. 60. "So? Are we close?"
  61. 61. "No good. The plan's ruined." If he even suspects I'm lying, I'm dead.
  62. 62. "What? How could it go from 'nearly complete' to 'complete failure' in one day?"
  63. 63. "Fucking Cow Mascot, Dad. You know they do that thing where they flirt with random people, and it tried to flirt with me just as Andorra walked into the room. I rejected it, obviously, but you know that doesn't matter. Andorra is furious with me; I barely got out without being slapped by her and everyone else in the house. They're a tight-knit bunch over there."
  64. 64. "Did you at least attack the mascot?" "Ellis is supposed to be a nice guy. It would have blown my cover to beat up the Cow Mascot, although I'd certainly enjoy it. I can try to patch things up with Andorra if you want, but it might take a while." "Don't bother; she'll just find some other guy's shoulder to cry on to get over you. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. We were so close! Perhaps I will target the Cow Mascots once the Dualegacy's done for." "Whatever. I'm going to go change." "You don't have to, you know."
  65. 65. "Game's over, Dad. Time to stop pretending."
  66. 66. "How's Dora doing, Chad?" "Pretty bad. Last night, she had spaghetti for dinner. And I saw her eating pancakes for breakfast this morning." "Ouch." "Tell me about it." "So why are you eating a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast?" "Eventually she's gotta get over it, right? And then she'll want to get back to eating the last few bites of everyone else's sandwiches. Just doing my part."
  67. 67. "So has Indy found out anything about that Ellis jerk?" "No. It's weird; Indy and Rocky have been asking around, and no one here's ever heard of anyone named Ellis. It doesn't help that we don't know if Ellis is his first name or his last name." "Or if it's even his name at all." "Yeah. He's a ghost. From the little Dora's said since he ran out of here like his head was on fire, he never told her anything about his family. I don't think we're ever going to be able to find him and figure out what made him dump Dora." "Poor Dora." "Yeah. And now she's back to Square One on finding a spouse for the Prettacy."
  68. 68. "Um... Dora... Hi." "Topher? What are you wearing?"
  69. 69. "You said you wanted a White Knight to make you feel safe. Well, maybe I'm shy and I'm not exciting like that Ellis guy was, and maybe you don't get the thrill of having a secret relationship like you did with him, and maybe I can't always say what I want to say because I can't get the words out, but maybe what you need to feel safe isn't excitement and thrills and secrets, it's somebody who's shy and awkward and honest and who's willing to do something crazy to get you to notice how he feels about you, and that's me, and if you just give me a chance, I know I can be your White Knight."
  70. 70. "Dora? Um... I'm pretty sure this is the part where you're supposed to talk." "Why'd you do this?" "Because I want a chance with you and I didn't know how else to do it. So I figured I'd, you know, put all my eggs in one basket and risk it all on one grand gesture and if it worked then it was worth it and if it didn't work then I'd know I didn't have a shot and I could go away and not come back any more." "I don't know if I'm up for any grand gestures at the moment."
  71. 71. "Okay then. I'm just gonna pick up my remaining shreds of dignity and go. I'd sneak out, but the armor really doesn't lend itself to ninja-like stealth." "Topher..." "No, it's cool. At least now I know, right?"
  72. 72. "I'll see you around, maybe."
  73. 73. "Topher, wait! Please? I'm sorry."
  74. 74. "You don't have to go, all right?" "I don't have to go?" "You don't have to go. Because you are shy and it must have taken a lot for you to come here and do this, and that was a really brave thing to do, and if there's anything a White Knight needs to be, it's brave. And a White Knight doesn't need to be sweet, but you are, so I guess it's sort of a bonus." "OK. I won't go. But can I at least take the armor off?" "I wish you would; you smell like a tin can."
  75. 75. Yup, trying for Social Bunnies again. C'mon Rabbit Romance!
  76. 76. Blue Social Bunny!
  77. 77. ...Yellow Social Bunny. PHAIL.
  78. 78. "Dora, so, I'm graduating soon and I won't be around as much." "Gosh, is it that time already?" "Yeah. I was sort of hoping that before I had to leave campus, we could--" "It's not like I can't call you up and invite you over. Sure, you won't be right up the street anymore, but you make it sound as if we won't see each other at all."
  79. 79. "I know, but... I love you. And I just wanted to say that before I left." "That's so sweet. I'll miss you, Topher." "...Yeah. I should probably go home and pack." "Call me when you get back to Riverblossom Hills, okay?" "Of course I will." "Okay. I'm going to write my term paper; I'll call you when I'm done and say goodbye." "Dora..." "What is it?" "...Nothing. I'll talk to you later."
  80. 80. "So, Dora, seems like things are going well between you and Topher." "Yeah, he's kinda sweet, I guess. And he's crazy about me, so that's good, right?" "OK, so he's crazy about you; it doesn't take a genius to see that. But how do you feel about him?" "He's nice. And he's cute. What's not to like?" "That's not an answer." "What do you want me to say? I flung myself headfirst into the whole 'love' thing once, and look how that turned out! So what if I'm not over-the-moon about Topher? That doesn't mean I can't bring in Gen 6 with him. The Legacy's about sacrifice. Isn't that what Mom and Dad always said?"
  81. 81. "No, Dora! That's not fair! Topher's a decent guy despite the lack of naked hot-tubbing, and he deserves better than some half-hearted girlfriend! Sure, Legacies are about sacrifice, but it's enough to ask him to die for you! You don't need to ask him to spend all of his life giving to you and getting nothing in return too." "He loves me. He'd do it if I asked." "You don't have the right to ask. If you even cared about him a little, you wouldn't think this was remotely okay."
  82. 82. "What do you want me to do, Indy? He's cute and he's willing to do what needs to be done." "He deserves better than this. Find some other cute guy to use, one who doesn't care about you like Topher does, if you're going to refuse to fall in love again." "You make it sound like I don't care about him at all." "What makes you think you do? Figure out what you want, Dora. If you want Topher, then want Topher. If you don't, let him go. And if you don't make up your mind soon, I'll tell him what's going on myself and let him decide what he wants to do." "Stay out of my love life." "Decide if you have one first, and I will. You got hurt by someone else's selfish choice--are you really willing to do the same thing to Topher? You're my little sister and I love you, but right now I'm not so sure I like you."
  83. 83. In a move that's pure "Indy," he stirs up a little trouble and then hits the road. Indy: "Hey! Dad! I promised I'd invite you to my graduation party!" Tom: "I love parties!" Michelle: "Where's Chad? He's hot!" Topher: "Where's Dora? I'm in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich!" Raven: "Yoohoo! I can't do something because something's in my way!"
  84. 84. "Yikes! Dora's naked in the hot tub!" "Hahaha, you're shy!"
  85. 85. "Yikes! Dad's naked in the hot tub!" "Wooo! Roof Raiser!"
  86. 86. "Gosh, I'm trying to decide if I'm too nice to laugh. Turns out the answer is 'No!' Hahahahahaha, you look ridiculous!" "Thanks, Chad." Final tally: India graduates with a 4.0, became Big Man on Campus, and looks good in a hat. He kept Havelock House clean inside and out, ate most of a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches, and tried to make his little sister see sense when it came to her relationship with Topher.
  87. 87. Anyway, Chad's up next. "Mom, is Dad going to sit in the hot tub naked at my party too?" "Of course he is, Chad. Of course he is." But Tom's Hot Tub Nudity is not the most exciting thing about this graduation party, oh no.
  88. 88. "Michelle, it's finally time to take care of this Want that we've both had locked since the beginning of college! I love you, and I love that you love me, and... Um, are you flamey-thought-ballooning a burglar?"
  89. 89. Michelle: "Maybe?" Chad: "Why?" Michelle: "Er... The passionate hate I feel for him is nothing compared to the fire I have in my heart for you!" Raven: "I can't use the Dance Sphere because my son's proposing to his girlfriend in front of it!" *footstomp* *whine* Chad: "Well, there goes that carefully-planned romantic speech. You wanna get married?" Raven: "Oooh, karaoke!" This has got to be the funniest proposal I have ever had. Finally, Michelle and Chad do something that is not sickeningly cute!
  90. 90. "Of course I'll marry you, Chad! And we shall have many beautiful babies!" "Hooray!" And with the proposal, the party was a Roof Raiser. Not that Chad cared one way or the other; I was actually surprised he rolled the Want for the party and not the Fear.
  91. 91. Oh, Chad. You look like such a hurtful stereotype. Final tally: Chad graduates with a 4.0 and became Big Man on Campus. He managed to avoid the relationship drama of pretty much all of his other family members this time around, and did his best to help Dora through losing Ellis. He is already Permaplat, and was therefore easy to keep happy, although he did eventually start rolling Wants to eat things other than grilled cheese. And he got engaged to Michelle.
  92. 92. YAY! Blue Social Bunny!
  93. 93. Oh, IT'S ON NOW, Yellow Social Bunny. Rocky? You've just been volunteered. If Dora's next Social Bunny is blue or pink, you get to watch YOUR Social Motive plummet like a politician's approval rating after visiting an airport restroom. If all three Social Bunnies are here, two of them HAVE to be blue and pink, and it's more important to get the option to choose Romance for Dora's heir than Coco's, since the Uglacy already has Finn's Romance Platstone.
  94. 94. Yellow. Dammit!
  95. 95. Yellow. But this means that Rocky and Dora's will have to be blue and pink!
  96. 96. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT. Apparently there are at least TWO Yellow Social Bunnies. This may explain some of my problems. Shows you how often I see Social Bunnies--I had no idea that there were more than one of each color.
  97. 97. I finally get a blue one.
  98. 98. And a pink one. And then it was time for Final Exams, and when Dora and Coco left, the Social Bunnies disappeared, and now there's not enough time to get them all to bottom out their Social Motives before Coco and Rocky have to leave. So no point in Rocky and Coco sticking around. I decide to kick Rocky out first, and he Wanted a Sports Party rather than a Graduation Party, so I threw a Sports Party and moved him out at the end of it.
  99. 99. "Yeah, looks like I'm outta here! I hope I end up in some sweet bachelor pad back in Riverblossom Hills. I guess I shouldn't worry, Supreme Nerd's pretty good about hooking us up." "Sounds fun." "Bummer about you and Jordan being here for another generation." "It could be worse. I mean, at least we're together. Jordan and I, that is. Haha, not you and I, or anything. Jordan and I will be together." "Yeah, Rhea was stuck here by himself! Anyway, if you decide to throw any crazy parties, you have to invite me, okay?" "Sure! I like having you around! I mean, we like seeing you. Here. Or other places."
  100. 100. "Are you okay, Cam? You seem a little weird. More so than usual, you nice, shy little geek." "It's fine. Really." "Look, barely any time will pass, right? It'll be a generation for Dora and Coco, but hardly any time for the rest of us. It won't be that bad staying here." "It's nothing to do with that, Rocky. I'm fine. I'm splendid." "Did you seriously just say 'splendid'?" "I may have done." "Now I know something's up. No one uses 'splendid.' So what's the deal? What's bugging you?" "It's complicated." "Well, spill! Maybe we can un-complicate things together." "That seems unlikely." "Can't I be the judge of that?" "Um... Okay?"
  101. 101. "Mmmmph?"
  102. 102. "Oh dear. I suspect that didn't un-complicate matters." "Cam, what--? Have you been mooning after me this whole time?" "Sort of." "Sort of as in..." "Sort of as in yes." "Why didn't you ever say anything?" "Well, I'm shy... And you're straight..."
  103. 103. "Cam, you're one of my best friends! I wouldn't have gotten angry with you for telling me!" "I didn't think you'd get angry. You might have one nice point, but that's not you. I just didn't think you'd feel the same way, so there wasn't a point to saying anything." "Look, I'm a Knowledge Sim just like you, right? Which means I'm all about forming new hypotheses and testing them. Just because I've never dated a guy before doesn't mean I wouldn't consider the idea." "So you're saying what, exactly?"
  104. 104. "Any experiment requires validity in the form of repeated testing." "I think I like where you're going with this."
  105. 105. OK, I know I said there weren't going to be any Vetinari/Vetinari romances in the Dualegacy, but I couldn't help it! Cam had the quiet desperation, and Rocky had the cheerful obliviousness, and hell, their GRANDPARENTS don't even register as family! I just couldn't not do this. Anyway, I still need Cam to co-placehold with Jordan, because he's got half the friends, and these two are never, ever reproducing with each other, because I cannot see a scenario there that does not involve massive amounts of eye bleach, given their most distinguishing facial features, and it won't really feel that long for the two of them, considering that I won't play these households much after A) Rocky is Permaplat and B) Dora graduates. I think they can survive four or five days without each other. I changed Rocky's turnons, and now they have three bolts.
  106. 106. Rocky grows up in what looks to be the same outfit that Isaac grew up in when he graduated. It could definitely be so much worse. Final tally: Morocco graduates with a 4.0. He became Big Man on Campus, was stalked by both Dora and Cam, and eventually decided on a relationship with Cam, when the shy guy revealed his feelings. Mostly he stayed out of the way and kept himself reasonably happy.
  107. 107. Coco's party's next. Topher: "Hooray! Party!" Michelle: "Is Chad invited? Chad is hot!" Rocky: DIRTY JOKE Cam: "Rocky, why aren't you paying attention to meeeeeee?" *three bolt stalking* Eddie: "Hey, free pizza!" Mal: "Hey, free bubbles!"
  108. 108. Flavius really is a bit of a doofus. He'd probably be happier Meeting Someone New +1000 with everyone else at the party, but he spent the whole thing glued to the Dance Sphere. But Coco got to meet Eddie and Mal, and Indy got to Be the DJ, and Malcolm got to Sing Karaoke, and the whole thing was a Roof Raiser.
  109. 109. Coco manages to grow up into something decent! Hooray! I won't even have to make her change right away! Final tally: Monaco graduates with a 4.0. She became Big Woman on Campus, accidentally fell in love with Indy and had to become Enemies with him to bust the relationship, earned a Gold Badge in Toymaking, and made four Evil Clowns-in-a-box when she was in a particularly cranky mood. No Evil Kites, though. Or Evil Water Wigglers. On a trip to Club Dante, she met Malcolm Landgraab IV, and struck up a special friendship with the squiffy-faced businessman. And now she's heading back to the Uglacy to get a start on Gen 6.
  110. 110. "Topher!" "Wow, Dora. Hi. Nice to see you too." "This place is so creepy with no one here! It's all lonely and empty and it's really dark at night and spooky because it's so quiet and I've never had to live on my own before and I've decided I do not like it and I really miss everybody!" "Oh."
  111. 111. "It's not just my roommates I miss, if that's what you're worried about. I miss you too. I kinda miss you more than I miss them." "What are you trying to say here?" "I'm trying to say that I do love you, Topher. And that's a little bit scary too, but when I'm with you, things are more not-scary than scary, and that's why..."
  112. 112. "...I want you to marry me." "Dora, I... Of course I will!"
  113. 113. "So if you're gonna be my White Knight forever, what does that make me?" "The Fair Maiden, I suppose. What else do you call the woman the White Knight loves more than anything else?" "Yours."
  114. 114. But time ticks on, and soon enough, it's time for Cam and Jordan to move in and for Dora to graduate! "Indy, thanks for yelling at me about Topher. I really needed that kick in the ass. I do love him; I just needed to admit it to myself." "Anytime. I'm glad you decided to go for it; I like the guy, even if he has no idea what he's getting into with all the naked hot-tubbing and finger-gunning and pranks..." "I'm sure he'll figure it out soon enough."
  115. 115. With two three-bolt couples (Michelle and Chad and Cam and Rocky) and a two-bolt couple (Dora and Topher), the party easily made Roof Raiser, and I kept an eye on Indy and Coco to make sure they got up to neither hanky nor panky. Michelle still thinks Chad is hot.
  116. 116. Dora grows up into some non-awful clothes! Final tally: Andorra graduates with a 4.0. She became Big Woman on Campus, had her heart broken by "Ellis," and eventually got engaged to Topher. And she ate 92 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches over the course of her college career, which is a much larger accomplishment for her than any of the academic or relationship stuff, if her Want Panel is to be believed. So now it's back to Riverblossom Hills and babies for Dora! And speaking of Riverblossom Hills...
  117. 117. Andie, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know how easy it would be to fall in love with you. Being with you, spending time with your family and your friends... I felt normal. I guess that's how I should have known it couldn't last. I don't ever get to have normal. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to. But I couldn't kill you, either, and I did what I had to do. You'll never know why I did what I did, but you'll move on. You'll mend your broken heart. Mine... It isn't broken at all.
  118. 118. I'm sorry...

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