The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 12


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In which there is an explanation given, pants-fish sold, swings swung, a baby, and Eeevil.

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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 12

  1. 1. Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 12, where the SimSelves are nerdy and the Servos are gay, have no sense of personal space, and cheat at chess! "Hey, look, it's James Marsters kissing John Barrowman!" "OMG! Torchwood! Where's Torchwood?" "Over there!" kkkkkkkkkshhh... We interrupt this regularly scheduled update to bring you this important announcement...
  2. 2. "Heeeeyyy! As you may or may not know, Riverblossom Hills decided to explode after I moved Gen 4 back from college and I got Finn's business up to Level 10. Thanks, game. Really appreciated that one. So I went to revert to my backup, and discovered that it was also glitchy (I didn't need Jonny, Jeannie, Rhea, Cypress, or Spider Jerusalem, did I? Yes? Whoopsie!). Which meant nuking everything and starting from scratch while I was trying to move cross-country and start a new job. "But a few days on the beach set me right, so no worries there! "I may as well come clean about all the... um... creative liberties... I had to take to set things back the way they were. Yup, Debug Mode, the InSimenator, and the Lot Debugger got quite the workout. "I used the Lot Debugger to give everyone the college degrees they'd earned, Debug Mode to adjust skills, personalities, relationships, and the InSimenator to summon people for repairing relationships, set various Sims up in careers, and confer earned Permaplat."
  3. 3. "Lessee, what else? "I re-created Malcolm Landgraab so he'd be related to Eddie and Mal. I moved him into the Landgraab mansion, turfed out the original Malcolm Landgraab, moved him in with the Tinkers, and killed him. Malcolm Landgraab IV is like the Highlander: There can be only one. Daddy Malcolm owns the businesses, so it's all good. "Wren and Styx are married and have their kids from the Spider Jerusalem BC. I guess it was only partly hypothetical! The other four kids from the BC have been Townified as teenagers. "Since I didn't re-associate Sim State U, Skank-ho Tiffany is now a regular adult living in the neighborhood. Of all the things I liked the least, getting Tiff and Cy and Cass and Jake back in love topped that list. Or bottomed it. Whichever. "GintasticNecat is still raising little Billy Vetinari. I still have a Servo who likes to hug. Before I nuked Old Riverblossom, I had Finn register Darla as a breed, so the Uglacy has their dog back, and the Prettacy re-adopted Ethan-kitty."
  4. 4. "The Sims are dead who should be--Jane, Gen 1, Gen 2. Zee, Gerry, Cami, Bana and Drake, and Kest have houses, Didi and her fiance have some nice digs, Del's set up in a house, Raven's fiance is moved in, and Finn and Rosemarie have been given their appropriate days left. Spider Jerusalem and Rhea are back in college. "In order to rebuild Finn's Fins, I turned motive decay and aging off and made Finn, Rosemarie, and Cory fish for several days straight. And when I got back to the actual business, I used maxmotives instead of Finn's stockpile of Energizers. Hey, I did it once the hard way. I didn't cheat rebuilding Raven's business, though, because it wasn't even Level 1 when the 'hood went kaboom. "Because of the rebuild, I've got all my Sims and lots extracted and packaged, so if you want a Sim (aside from SimNerd, Larch, or Spider, who are on my SimPage already) or a lot, drop me a line. "So, yeah... Back to the show..."
  5. 5. "I don't see Torchwood. ...You're cheating, aren't you?" "Pffft, of course I am, meatsack." "What did I say about the 'm' word?" "Sorry. Uh, of course I'm cheating, Nerdsack." "We'll work on that one. But now we should get back to where we left off last time." "Spider Jerusalem StalkerCam? I demand more Spider Jerusalem StalkerCam!" "So do the fangirls. They got plenty of gratuitous Spider Jerusalem ab-shots in the BC. But that's not what I was talking about." "Hello, Spider Jerusalem." "Dammit, Tiffany, stop following me!" "Sorry, kid, but you've got the wrong girl."
  6. 6. "Sycamore? But... you're dead!" "I got better." "Not that I'm not glad to hear of cheating death, but you should get as far away from me as possible. Dad's skanky girlfriend is following my every move and reporting back to him, and he's not going to be happy that you're alive." "I wouldn't worry about it. I saw her knocking on his door half an hour ago with handcuffs and a spatula. And, for some reason, a lamp. You're off the leash for at least a little while yet." "Well, that's good news for me. So why are you here?"
  7. 7. "There's a war coming, Spider Jerusalem. I need to know what side you're on." "A war? Don't you think that's just a bit dramatic?" "You know your father as well as anyone. Do you think it's an exaggeration?" "Maybe not." "You'll have to choose a side sooner or later."
  8. 8. "I'm on the side of staying alive. That's the same side I've always been on." "That sounds awfully lonely." "I'm used to it." "You don't have to be alone." "And if I get my Reaper Child powers, I could accidentally hurt anyone around me. If it's just Dad, it won't matter, but I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone I actually cared about. Face it; I'm better off on my own." "You don't have any powers, then?"
  9. 9. "Just the power to turn everything I touch into a towering pillar of suck!"
  10. 10. "You shouldn't say that." "Why not? It's the truth. The lives of the people around me are a mess, and I'm the common denominator. Jane died so that Dad could have me. Cass and Del grew up without a mother. Cassidy took care of me until he cracked. If he hadn't had to do that, maybe he wouldn't be with Jake now. It's no wonder he wants to be absolved of responsibility. Del's hated me from the minute I was born, hated Cass for paying attention to me, hated Dad for being Dad... She's got a kid now--a kid I'll probably never get to meet. Not that I'd even be a great uncle. Not like..."
  11. 11. "Larch?" "Yeah." "He was a good guy. He cared a lot about his family. Even the slightly more distant members." "I know. Uncle Larch was nice to me. That... doesn't happen much." "Do you think he'd want you to blame yourself for the choices Cassidy and Delirium have made?"
  12. 12. "I don't know. Probably not, I guess." "You don't have to go it alone, Spider Jerusalem." "It's safer that way." "But not happier." "I'm not a happy guy." "Wouldn't you rather be?" "I..." "Look, let's sit down and have a chat."
  13. 13. "OK, Sycamore. Why bring up Uncle Larch? He's dead. It's not like he can help me anymore." "Larch asked me to watch over the Prettacy. It's something that I take very seriously. Deadly seriously, in fact." "You... killed yourself? Why?" "I needed your father to believe I was out of the way. It was the only way to ensure that I could protect my nephew and his descendants." "But you had a family! Malcolm and your kids!"
  14. 14. "Legacies are about sacrifice, Spider Jerusalem. Larch and Juniper were heirs, and they aged and died to make room for future generations. The spares, like your father and Banyan and I, we live forever. Do you really think Larch and June wanted to die? Of course not! But they did what had to be done to preserve the Legacies. How could I do anything less? I love Malcolm and my kids, but I'm in a Legacy family. I know the score. The main households are the most important thing. I'll do everything I can to protect the Prettacy. My twin sister gave her life for it. If it comes down to it, I will too, even if it's for forever the next time."
  15. 15. "I don't understand how you can say that. I don't get how you can willingly sacrifice yourself for the Legacy. How can you care about anything enough to die for it?"
  16. 16. "It's easier than you might think. Maybe if you got away from here, away from your father, you'd get a different perspective."
  17. 17. "Heh. Next thing I know, you're going to suggest that I run. Wouldn't be the first time someone's told me that. Even if I didn't think Dad would track me down and kill me, I can't run. Sure, there were times I thought I could, and sometimes I even got farther than the sidewalk, but I always came back. I can't..." "You can't what?"
  18. 18. "I can't leave Cassidy. I won't do it. He gave up everything he had for me. You don't know what it was like. You don't know how bad he was at the end, how wrung out he was. I was just a kid, but I knew how much he was hurting. He tried so hard to protect me from Dad... You talk about sacrifice--Cass knows sacrifice. He may not have died, but that doesn't mean he didn't give until he had nothing left. Now I see him with Jake and I can't stand it. I have to find a way to help him. I have to make him see what Jake is. Cass deserves so much better than that loser. Maybe there's nothing I can do. Maybe I just have to wait until he realizes it for himself. And if that's the case, I have to be here when he finally leaves that jerk. When I was a kid, he was always there for me. The least I can do is be there for him when he needs me--and he will need me, whether I convince him to leave Jake or he figures it out on his own. So I'm not going anywhere. Even if it means staying with Dad."
  19. 19. "Maybe there's something you're willing to die for after all. I've got to go, but you can call me if you need to talk. You might think you're all right on your own, but everyone needs someone. Larch trusted me; perhaps you should do the same."
  20. 20. Trust you, Sycamore? How do I trust anyone? The people I've trusted have either died or let me down. You tell me I can't do this on my own. I don't see where I have any other choice. If the people around me get hurt, I can't justify keeping anyone close. I know that. I do. Too bad it doesn't make it easier. ...I can't remember what it feels like to not be tired...
  21. 21. Cory here is definitely lacking the angst that Spider Jerusalem carries around. He is, however, quite more significantly endowed with facial squiff. This angle really shows the lot off to its best (?) advantage. The brows. The cheekbones. The nose. The "chin." Cory's a Scorpio 7/7/8/3/3 Permaplat Pleasure Sim. The last serious Pleasure Sim I will ever have. And he seems to have custom eyes now. I must have yoinked him from Pleasantview when I was doing the BC there, and not realized it. So I guess there are custom eyes in the Uglacy! "Whatever, can we just get on with the fun parts?"
  22. 22. We have a complete set of fish at the Uglacy again. I had one in the Alpha 'hood, but since I had to catch fish anyway, I may as well re-hang them. Eventually I'll get around to restoring the Prettacy fish, although I already had the proof of it so I'm not giving up the point even if I don't.
  23. 23. And yes, we got a Golden Trout too. Cory and Rosemarie seem to catch them relatively easily; it took Finn forever the first time around, and he never did catch one this time. But what to do with all those spare fish? Sell them to hapless Townies, of course!
  24. 24. Come on in to Finn's Fins, everybody! Where you can buy all the fish you could ever possibly need, 100% guaranteed to have been stuffed down someone's pants! Probably Finn's! Don't know where he's been? Buy two! Or three!
  25. 25. Yes, here at Finn's Fins, the pants-fish are abundant! And for the cheapskates, buy a boot, the best deal in town for a low low price of $27! The awesomest thing about a fish shop? ZERO OVERHEAD. It's pretty much pure profit, assuming you have enough fish in Inventory.
  26. 26. The juicers, conveniently stocked with Boot, are the only things that cost money to restock, and once you get the Wholesale Perks, the profit margin on those gets mightily high as well.
  27. 27. And, well, this is Finn's Fins...
  28. 28. They gotta go and do stuff like this that makes me think I'm gonna miss 'em when they're gone. Immediately post-photobooth WooHoo, Rosemarie swoons over Finn and he checks her out.
  29. 29. "Zee! Sis! Buy some fish!" "Uh, no. I remember the parade of lazy college girls coming out of your room in Havelock House. I sure hope Kestrel remembered to change the sheets." "Eh, he said Wren took my old room." "Did Wren change the sheets?" "Don't care! Look, are you gonna buy a fish here or what?" "No!"
  30. 30. "I got juicers. How about a juicer? Guaranteed pants-fish free!" "Deal. But only because you're my brother." "I'm willing to accept that." "Just give me the juicer before I change my mind." "...You might not want to drink the boot..." "FINN!"
  31. 31. "So, Peter, can I interest you in a pants-fish today?" "I don't know. Let me rub my porn 'stache and think about it." "Our fish are the perfect solution for someone who's white-trash enough to have a pile of kids when he doesn't have two nickels to rub together, but not white-trash enough to be a professional bass fisherman." "Hmmm... You make a compelling argument..." "Do you, in fact, have two nickels to rub together?" "Nnnnooot as such, no." "Then get the hell out, you cheap bastard."
  32. 32. "Jonny! Buy some fish!" "Remember all the times I took extended walks around the block in college? That was to avoid the parade of underwear-clad coeds. I don't want anything that's been in your pants, Finn." "Come on, live a little!" "No."
  33. 33. "Come on, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. You buy my pants-fish, I'll pop into Raven's business and pay for a crapload of whatever she's selling." "OK, I'll buy the stupid fish already." "Fantastic!" "You wanna come over for dinner tomorrow?" "No. No I do not."
  34. 34. "Zee! I learned how to Dazzle! Buy some pants-fish!"
  35. 35. "You are so dead, Finn. So, so dead." "Meh, I only got a little over a week left anyway, so your threat's pretty much empty." "Dazzle me again, and you'll never meet your grandchildren." "Fine, fine, take your pants-fish and leave."
  36. 36. Gaaaaah! GO BE CREEPY ON YOUR OWN LOT!
  37. 37. "So, listen, I'd love to sell you one of these here juicers. What's it gonna take to get you to buy one of these babies?" "I don't eat, fleshbag. I'm just here for the eye candy." "Come on. There's got to be something I can offer you that'll make you buy a juicer." "...Hugs?" "I don't want to sell a juicer that badly, thanks, but I'll file that away for future reference."
  38. 38. "Just buy the fish, Wren. I am not in the mood to play games." "Righty-ho."
  39. 39. "Gosh, I'm pretty sure we have one of these at home..."
  40. 40. "It doesn't matter! You need many juicers! Many, many juicers! Especially ones priced Expensive!" "This totally because I didn't let you use me as a handshake date back in college." "And I am absolutely OK with that." Total number of juicers at the Prettacy, following my stint at Finn's Fins? Six.
  41. 41. "Come on! Pants-fish! Lots and lots of pants-fish!" "Finn, I know where those pants have been. Alpha Finn or Beta Finn, you're still Finn, and I'm not buying anything that's been stuffed down your trousers." "...I'll keep quiet about the boltage."
  42. 42. "Sold! Nobody needs to know anything about the lightning bolts, right? I buy the fish, you keep your mouth shut!" "An excellent plan. The jumbo blue catfish are excellent." "I'll take three!"
  43. 43. "Hey, how come we don't get a dog?" The canine in question is Darla, Snyder and Jenny's offspring. Unfortunately, I couldn't get Kendra and Snyder's graves back, so I marked them with vases of flowers instead. To clear the animal adoption pool, I went around to various houses and had them adopt the Willy the Snitch, Jenny, and Gwendolyn dogs--the Kendra-puppy wasn't there. I still think Darla's a cool-looking dog. And I'll be sure to give Gin and Billy another puppy to make up for losing idiot Morgan.
  44. 44. Synchronized father-and-son Dazzling!
  45. 45. Which of course leads to synchronized star-throwing and buy-bar-filling. You know, the Sales badge is always the easiest for me, and with the Smarter Cashier hack, the Register badge isn't bad, but I can never manage to get a gold Restocking badge. At level ten, Cory, Finn, and Rosemarie only had Bronze badges, and Finn and Rosemarie had only just gotten theirs.
  46. 46. Styx: "So I'm looking for a pants-boot." Cory: "A pants-boot, you say? I think I can help you there." SimNerd: Is that Jake? I think that's Jake. Frammit, I like him so much better when he's blue-gray and smelly and trying to hug people and nibbling on a piece of cardboard. StyxLady writes Just Another Legacy. She's married to Wren, and they have two kids. Both of them have Stabby Death Nose.
  47. 47. "Buy the pants-boot!" "Yes! Yes! I will buy the pants-boot! ...On second thought, I don't really need a pants-boot." Styx came in asking for a boot. Cory showed her the boot. Cory Dazzled her the boot. And then she walked away. Thanks, Styx.
  48. 48. "So this one time, you got your ass kicked, and then a satellite fell on you, and then you were a zombie, and then you ran with some scissors, and then the Supreme Nerd forgot how much a reverse-rez was so you came back just a normal zombie, and then you died by hail, and then you got reverse-rezzed, and then you got your ass kicked again, and then you got your ass kicked again, and then you drowned in a pit of quicksand, and then your tombstone got kicked, and it was the best thing ever!" "Mmmm. Isn't that the nine-nice-point creepy smile?" "I'm only smiling on the outside, jerkwad."
  49. 49. "If you buy a pants-fish, I promise my dad won't beat you up anymore!" "Excellent! ...Hey, wait, isn't your dad, like, dead and stuff?" "Too late, sucker, I saw that star!"
  50. 50. But it's Rosemarie, who wasn't even part of most of Finn's Fins 1.0, who gets the business its last star needed to reach Level 10. Way to go, Rosemarie! I knew there was a reason I liked you, besides the nose and the lack of chin! And now, onto wheres that are else.
  51. 51. Raven's an Aries 9/9/9/3/1 Permaplat Knowledge Sim. She's given to occasional moments of prophecy due to having died with her mother Jeannie before she was born. Happily, her fiance, Thomas Kearney, embraces her gift. "And other things..."
  52. 52. "So, Tom, I was thinking we should start a business, get it to Level 10 before we have kids." "Hey, I don't mind a business. I'm a Popularity Sim, after all; it's all about the Meeting Someone New. Aside from the Raven- related Want Panel Spam, of course." "Of course." "There's something we should do before we buy a business, though." "What?" "Well, I am a stock Leo, you know." "A fact that hadn't escaped me." "And here we are in this hot tub..." "I think I can see where you're going with this." "And?" "Do you even have to ask?" "Music to my ears."
  53. 53. This is the Prettacy's business: Swings 'n' Things. Why swings? Sims can't leave 'em alone is why swings. Ever had a swingset for your Sim kiddies? Ever have them not be able to use it because a non-controllable visitor wouldn't get out of it? THAT is why swings. Sims will happily pay a fortune to use swingsets. The 'n' Things are a bubble blower, a chessboard, a dartboard, and MyShuno, some other favorite attention hogs, but I suspect very few customers will actually make it inside the building. The swings are a deliciously lucrative vortex right near the ticket machine. I let Raven meditate and Tom did most of the actual business-running. Popularity Sim + business = Aspiration points galore.
  54. 54. OK, so I sent 'em on a few dates first so that they could afford some Energizers, and to get Tom platinum to Energize. Raven's no biggie since she's Permaplat, but Tom can't Meditate (no Logic) and needs to stay at least in gold Aspiration. Periodically I'd make Raven stop Meditating so she and Tom could go on another Dream Date. Not that they minded. They're not quite as stalky as Larch and Christy, but close. The difference between two bolts and three, methinks.
  55. 55. "Hey, c'mon, buy a ticket!" "Aren't you that guy marrying the Gen 4 heir?" "That's me!" "I'm marrying Banyan's daughter." "We're practically family! Buy a ticket!" "Yeah, don't push me, I'm mean enough to hold my own in this family." "Me too--buy a damn ticket." "Welcome to the clan." "Likewise." The redhead is Nolan, Delight's fiance.
  56. 56. "Hey, Uncle Gerry!" "Raven! If it isn't my favorite niece!" "I'm your only niece." "I never said I was starved for choice." "You never change, do you?" "Only when I spill something on my pants."
  57. 57. "Wanna swing for a while?" "No!" "You object to swingsets?" "I thought you meant... never mind. Do you have any insane touchy-feely gay robots here?" "Not that I'm aware of." "Fantastic! Let me at that ticket machine!"
  58. 58. "I can has?" NO, Delirium. No can has.
  59. 59. "Buy a ticket!" "That gets me what?" "Swings!" "And?" "A bubble blower!" "And?" "A dartboard!" "And?" "MyShuno!" "And?" "A chessboard!" "And?" "Uh... That guy over there!" "Sold!"
  60. 60. Jason Larson: "This is the best business ever!" Del: "No. The best business ever would have a hot tub or a photobooth."
  61. 61. "We have many swingsets for your amusement." "Any cowplants?" "No." "Flame jets, then? Those are always good for a lark." "No." "Big scissors to run with? Weathernaughts for making it hail? Moldy pizzas and a lockable door?" "...Have you considered seeking professional help?" "Hmm... Mercenaries, you say? But no, I prefer to exact revenge on my own." " 'Scuse me. I think I hear the phone ringing."
  62. 62. "I learned how to Dazzle! You want a ticket! And you want to give Goopy his shorts back!" I so need to marry that guy into the Uglacy some day.
  63. 63. "Ahahahahaha! She totally fell for my prank! And now it's going to cost you stars!" ARGH NOLAN! Why can't you be nice and malleable like Drake? HE doesn't bug the other customers and cost me stars.
  64. 64. "You missed a button this morning. It's all uneven." "Did I? Oh man, have I been walking around all wonky all this time? Why didn't anyone say anything?"
  65. 65. "PSYCH! Ahahahahaha, fooled you!"
  66. 66. "Hey, Red! You were right, that is pretty fun!" "I should just kick the both of you out right now... Or make Raven stop meditating so she can kick both your asses." Yeah, Nolan pranked Wendy and then she pranked everyone else on the lot. It was a rough night. Tom spent most of it putting out metaphorical fires. In one case involving Raven and a platter of ribs, Tom ended up putting out a literal fire. There are no pictures, because OMG RAVEN IS ON FIRE OMGOMGOMG. FYI: If there are no walls, the game does not consider it a room for purposes of placing overhead lights, but as long as there's a roof, the game considers it a room for flaming-grill purposes. So I ended up scootching the grill back one tile, and Swings 'n' Things has now been burning-heir free for several days. Yay?
  67. 67. "Hey, you must be Cassidy! I'm a Knowledge Sim; what's it like being half-alien?" "What's it like not being half-alien?" "Touche. Wanna come and swing for a while?" "Eh."
  68. 68. "We got a bubble blower too." "I'm in!"
  69. 69. "Nice night." "I suppose so." "Swinging's fun." "Mmm-hmmm." "Hey, uh, don't you have a kid at home or something?" "I can see your underpants." "I'll just shut up now." "You do that." GintasticNecat writes The Science of a Legacy; she's raising Cypress's accidental abduction spawn, Billy.
  70. 70. "Just a little farther, and I can KICK HIM IN HIS STUPID DAMN HEAD." "Mmmm. I detect some hostility." "Care to detect my foot upside your face?"
  71. 71. "Drake! Buddy! I've been waiting for you to show up here. Throw me some stars, man!" "Only if you agree that the hair looks better on me." "Never gonna happen." "Well, here's a star anyway." "You're a real pal." "Sometimes I hate being easygoing."
  72. 72. Tom: "Come on, you've had it rough lately. You deserve to cut loose for once!" Malcolm: "Well, it certainly would feel good to relax for a change." Zinnia: Lonely rich widower! Cha-ching!
  73. 73. "Cory! Swings! You know you want to!" "If I wanted to all that badly, I'd buy one for myself." "Come on. What about the back-scratching?" "Hey, that deal was with my dad."
  74. 74. "Last night, I ate half a suspiciously-marinated catfish. YOU OWE ME." "Fine, fine, don't be such a drama queen." "You know what's on the menu for tonight? Trouser Trout." "I said I'd buy a ticket already!" "Come back. Bring friends."
  75. 75. "Hey." " 'Sup."
  76. 76. "We have swings!" "Not quite good enough. I mean, I know I should be supportive and all, but... Meh." "SimSelves?" "Sold!"
  77. 77. Say what you want about Kestrel; I freaking love this guy. Yeah, he's lumpy, but he's so mellow it totally makes up for the Cheeks O' Doom. Kest's no Larch, but then, who is? In Alpha Riverblossom, I actually sacrificed SimNerd to Kest for stars at Finn's Fins--they were totally Crushing on each other. There are not many Sims in my game I would do that with.
  78. 78. "How have I not killed you yet?" "Um... Lack of trying? I mean, seriously, all you did was try to convince Great-Grandma Calista to scare me to death, which, yeah, great plan there what with me being a Knowledge Sim and all."
  79. 79. "You want trying? I'll give you trying! And when everyone you care about is dead by my hand, you'll wish you hadn't asked me to try." "Get over yourself, Cypress. You don't impress me--and you don't scare me. You are not hurting my family." "This means war." "Bring it."
  80. 80. See how much of a time-suck the swingsets are? He's actually green-fuming from being here for so long! That's Christian Lind. You may remember him as Mayor Komeiclone, from Mayor Komeiclone Picks A Fight With Spider Jerusalem. I have no idea what his job is now, other than stinking up the place. The swingsets really are the biggest draw. Joe Graham keeps showing up to play MyShuno by himself. Three Sims have used the bubble blower: Gerry, Samantha Ottomas (yeah, that's gotta be good for those twins, Sam, keep up the good work)...
  81. 81. ...and Cassidy.
  82. 82. "So, I hear you're not exactly straight..." "Your gossip sources are well-informed, Squishy. That scantily-clad female meatsack over there holds no appeal for me. That guy in the red with the 'fro, however... Well, actually, he's not my type either, but if you're curious, we could perhaps come to some arrangement." "Thanks, but I love my fiancee. And my kneecaps."
  83. 83. Gilbert: "Oh, for crying out loud! What do I have to do to get away from that stupid robot?" Servo: "Hey, if you don't want a piece of this metallic goodness, can you introduce me to the fleshbag in the tweed?" Tom: "Is there a star in it for me?" Servo: "There can be." Gilbert: "NO."
  84. 84. Then Chester Gieke showed up, and Tom Influenced the Servo to kiss him, which was worth a couple of stars. Sure, in Chester's bio, it says he wants to interact more with the opposite sex, and that is a FILTHY LIE. When I fired up SupremeNerd's House of Stuff again, Chester came in, and autonomously heart-farted and Flirted with the Servo. The nerd making a beeline for the metal man? That is a hurtful stereotype, EAxis.
  85. 85. Servo and Chester: "We're gay and Gilbert's a Romance Sim!" Gilbert: "NO!"
  86. 86. "I think you broke him." Eh, he'll recharge in the morning. He doesn't know when to leave. This is actually the third time he's run out of power on the lot, and his insistence on powering down in front of a swingset leads to much foot-stomping.
  87. 87. Who throws me the last star? Morty Roth, in a pine tree, with "Tom's a Popularity Sim!" Thanks, Morty. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Everybody out of the metaphorical pool!
  88. 88. "That's it! Level 10! You know what this means?" "We can finally go home and take care of those wedding-related Wants?" "Absolutely! ...You're staring at my thought-bubbles, aren't you?" "They're so me-y." I send 'em home and kick off the wedding party! I invited Kest, Cory, Gerry, Zee, Finn, Rhea, and Wren. I'd have had Wren bring Styx, but she wouldn't have come because Cam and Jordan are still toddlers. Gerry and Finn wanted to bring guests. Can do. Gerry brought Delirium and spent the wedding heart-farting her.
  89. 89. DAMMIT, FINN! Yes, for some reason, Finn brings the Crazy Gay Huggy Servo to Raven and Tom's wedding. "You know, Squishy, there's still time to run before you're saddled with that unattractive female meatsack." "I sort of want to be saddled with the meatsack--I mean, Raven. And not saddled. What's a good word? Married. That's a good word. I want to be married to Raven." "You sure?" "Pretty sure, yes." "What a waste."
  90. 90. "Hey, Raven! Congrats! Big day for you and Tom, huh?" "I'm thrilled! How come I didn't get an invite to your wedding?" "Didn't really get to have one so much. But we'll throw a birthday party for the kids and have everyone over." "You really are a Popularity Sim." "And enjoying every minute of it!"
  91. 91. "Everyone's still Smustling. Tom, make them stop Smustling." "...I was thinking about joining them." "Beg pardon?" "Joking, I was joking!"
  92. 92. "Tom, when I met you, I didn't think I'd ever find someone to fall in love with and marry and have a family with who didn't think I was a little strange. But then you came wandering by the lot in your shorts and your sweater and you said all the right things and did all the right things, and now I can't imagine the rest of my life without you. Whatever the future brings, we'll face it together, and I wouldn't have it any other way."
  93. 93. "Raven, I was just a Dormie when I met you, doomed to a life of obscurity dressed like a dork, but you saw past the bad fashion choices and got to know the real me. I'd love you even if you were like everyone else, but you're special and the things you can do never cease to amaze me. I'll be here with you for the rest of our lives, and I can't think of anything I want more than that."
  94. 94. "Can I see the ghosts of everyone I've ever met who's currently dead?" "Can I be friends with the Servo?"
  95. 95. "Delirium's a Romance Sim!" "I'm going to pretend like I didn't just see that." "Thanks; it's a coding thing... Three-quarters of the room is going 'Tom/Wren/Kestrel is a Popularity Sim' and the other quarter is going 'Delirium's a Romance Sim!' Except for you, of course."
  96. 96. "Have a delicious forkful of cake, sweetie!" "Thanks for not cramming it into my piehole." "I thought about it." "I know you did."
  97. 97. "Do you remember our wedding, Jonny?" "Which one?" "Any of them." "Like it was yesterday."
  98. 98. Guess what? THEY'RE STILL CUTE AND I STILL *HEART* THEM. That is all. Autonomous, by the way. Totally autonomous.
  99. 99. "Dad? You could at least wait until the end of the party." "But there are dishes that need to be picked up now!" "Seriously. They can wait." "They can't wait." "If you just hold off for a couple of minutes, the Servo will Do Chores." "No metal maniac is beating me to any dirty dishes!" Beta Jonny? Still OCD!
  100. 100. "You know, Jeannie, Raven and Tom are trying for Gen 5 right about now. We could do a little trying ourselves." "Jon, we're waaaay to old to have any more kids!" "Hey, I said we could try. I didn't say we had to succeed." "I've always felt that success is overrated."
  101. 101. "I'm a stock Leo, you know." "You always seem to mention that when we're in the hot tub." "Well, the subject generally does come up..."
  102. 102. Six times. Six times I hit Try for Baby before I actually heard the lullabye. That was even more than Malcolm and Sycamore. And these two were starving and tired by the time I finally let them out of the hot tub. Try seven was going to have to involve a bed.
  103. 103. "Morning sickness, hon?" "NO, dammit! This is my stomach, and I will be the one determining which end things will be going out of it!" "Just keep telling yourself that."
  104. 104. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, JONNY. Alpha Jon didn't know how to make cheesecake, and you sure as hell shouldn't! "You're the one who put in that mod to make single-serving desserts!" Yeah, so it wasn't a pain in the ass to stock the display cases at J'Adore! YOU'RE not supposed to be making freaking cheesecake! "RTFM, as they say." Shut up. And if Raven eats any of that, I am NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY. Why am I playing Gilbert? Well, once you make him less slobby and lazy, he's kinda fun to play. Oh, and... PLANS. I HAS THEM.
  105. 105. "Tom! Congratulations on getting married to my daughter and knocking her up! Particularly for doing it in that order!" "Thanks, Jon."
  106. 106. "So I guess this means I get to keep my kneecaps?"
  107. 107. "She's still my little girl, and I'm still not dead. I wouldn't rest easy just yet."
  108. 108. "Whoa! I seem to have a belly!" Yes. Yes you do. Now go sleep in your own bed. Even Beta Raven is attracted to the blue bed. I have no idea why; the other double bed is the exact same bed, just a different color.
  109. 109. "You're beautiful when you're huge and pregnant." "I'm glad you think so, since I have to do this at least once more."
  110. 110. Calista: "Booga booga booga!" Jeannie: "Well, I may have made a puddle on the sidewalk, but I didn't die this time. Up-side!" Finn: "This is awkward. Normally someone buys me dinner first..."
  111. 111. "Well howdy there, pardner. Ya gonna mosey on outta yer mommy soon?" "Tom? Why are you talking to the baby like you're John Wayne?" "Is that not how you're supposed to do it?" "Only if you're actually John Wayne." "So I guess using the word 'cowpoke' is out, huh?" "Pretty much, yeah."
  112. 112. "Oh geez, wife's screaming, not going to let me tell her a dirty joke any time soon..." "I will dirty joke you right into the middle of next week, mister!" Those PJs Raven's wearing must have a pregnancy version or something, because I don't have the Wear Anything While Pregnant hack, but those are definitely not pregnancy jammies and they're definitely showing the belly. Cool!
  113. 113. This is the first baby of Gen 5! We're almost halfway there! As you may have guessed from Wren's kids' names (hint: Cameroon? NOT a typo for Cameron), my theme for Gen 5 is countries. This little guy with his daddy's skin and hair and his mommy's eyes is India.
  114. 114. So, I've got four Sims in the house: one Family Sim (upstairs sleeping), one Knowledge Sim who doted on all three of his kids like crazy (even the useless one), one Knowledge Sim whose Knowledge Sim father and grandfather treated her like a little princess, and one Popularity Sim... How many of them got Aspiration points when Indy was born?
  115. 115. "I have a baby! And I am suddenly platinum! And not even from Meeting Someone New!" "Lalala, clean the counter..." Yeah--Tom's the ONLY person in the house who actually had a Want for a baby/grandbaby. Raven and Jonny's Want Panels are full of See XXXX's Ghost Wants, and no way was I letting Raven fulfill any of those when she was pregnant. Raven? Remember that time you were dead? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PREGNANT SIMS SEE GHOSTS. Jonny, on the other hand...
  116. 116. "Thanks, Grandpa!" "No problem, kid."
  117. 117. "Thanks, Grandma!" "You're welcome!" "Why did you never do this when I was a kid?" "Eh... It was more fun to scare your brother."
  118. 118. "Hey, little ghosty-guy, you see my parents around here anywhere?" "OOOoooooOOOOoooo Nope ooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOO" Someone else is a little obsessed with ghosts, too. But more the creation aspect...
  119. 119. I don't scare you, Raven? I should! I've killed one person already and you know I won't hesitate to kill more. I'm planning on it, in fact, and the Prettacy is as good a place to start as any, since you were so kind as to offer up a challenge. You say I won't hurt your family?
  120. 120. Watch me. Well, that's never a good thing. Next time, we'll see how Indy grows up, and by that I mean, will I finally get to bid Stabby Death Nose a fond farewell? Plus I'll have to do something about Gen 5 at the Uglacy! There's a couple more if you're in the mood to clicky clicky...
  121. 121. Spider Jerusalem mentioned earlier that Delirium had a baby. Yup, she does, and this is her daughter, Nuala. Her daddy's a Townie. Which one, I have no idea. Del's a Romance Sim, after all...
  122. 122. Ah yes, the graves of the People Who Had To Die. No idea which is which, so in no particular order, they belong to: Malcolm Landgraab IV (not the one who's Eddie and Mal's father, who is Malcolm IV Landgraab), the guy who was related to the BC kids in CAS before I killed him and Townified the teenagers, the clone Mr. Big (hopefully the one who regenerates will have a different face from Jerky Jake), and the Beta-versions of Drake (Banyan's husband), Calista, PseudoBruty, Thomas, and Rosemarie. Whose yard is this? The Tinkers. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, MELODY TINKER. And yeah, plopping a bunch of graves on the lawn to torture a Knowledge Sim isn't really punishment, but maybe someday I'll play the lot until they come out and make her wander around until she pees herself from being scared. THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING WREN CRY, MELODY TINKER.
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