Memorial Day Asylum Funtimes


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An Asylum I did hanging out with Lark, Ang, and Rose.

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Memorial Day Asylum Funtimes

  1. 1. Its Memorial Day here, and Im hanging out with Lark, Ang, and Rose, and we decided to throw a bunch ofnames into a Tinkerbell bucket that once held popcorn at TokyoDisney, draw some names, and playAsylums. It was decided that I should write mine up, now that Im finished.I should mention that when we play Asylums at Larks house, we generally do it with ACR, LargerHouseholds, and Random Triplets and Quads. So its not so much the 7 uncontrollables you have to worryabout, but the 7 uncontrollables and whatever children happen to be born into the mess (who are alsouncontrollable). Its like a regular Asylum, with extra screaming, green-fuming, and dog food consumption.
  2. 2. We got to pick our own caretaker, and I picked Kestrel, my fourth-generation Uglacy spare. The face maybe lumpy, but hes got a fairly mellow personality (Virgo 10/3/8/3/6), and hes a Pop Sim, which has itsadvantages. For instance, his LTW was 20 Best Friends, which is easily do-able in an Asylum, with aminimum of seven sitting ducks. I got him a job so hed bring friends home, but he didnt really need thecareer.Ive always had a bit of a soft spot for Kest, and it was nice to play him again. In the sea of outgoinggrouches that was my Uglacy in those days, he was a breath of fresh air.
  3. 3. I picked a bird for Charisma skilling, and left enough money to stock the cage and feed the bird, whosename is Dingo, because Throatwobbler Mangrove wouldnt fit in the box.Cagedpetfixes is in the hack folder, so I didnt anticipate much of a problem keeping him alive.
  4. 4. As far as the uncontrollables go, on the far left is my villain, Cypress Vetinari, and the redheaded guy ingreen is Wally Doran, from Larks Back-Asswards Apocalypse. The blonde lady in the pink and blue isAzula Fitzhugh, from Marinas Villainous Apocalypse (OK, Lark says thats how Azula looks with her defaultskins); the black-haired lady is Desdemona Doran, from Roses second turn at the Boolpropian RoundRobin; the brunette is the SimSelf of OliveTheGreat; the redheaded lady is the SimSelf of Cait-who-writes-the-Regacy.Which you will notice is only six other Sims.
  5. 5. That is because Matthew Bradford, of Silverbelles Bradford Legacy, decided he was too good to come intothe house with everyone else.
  6. 6. There was an early effort to get everyone some Cooking so they didnt burn the place down.This would be entirely useless, as the uncontrollables feeding themselves was an extremely rareoccurrence.After this, pretty much no one gained any more Cooking. Ever.
  7. 7. “Why are you sitting so close to the screen?”“Are you kidding? This show is great!”
  8. 8. “I mean, I LOVE this part!”Yeah, Cypress, way to be creepy.
  9. 9. At this point, things are still going well. And by that I mean, no one is pregnant yet, and no one has gone tobed, so theyre all still dressed.Very shortly, it will be All Underwear and PJs, All the Time.Except for Kestrel, who gets to Macro/Caffeinate instead of sleeping.
  10. 10. Two hours in, and Azulas knocked up by Matthew.
  11. 11. And apparently she thinks shes, like, a wild dog or something, and needs to sleep with all the males in thepack so no one knows whose the baby is, so they all think its theirs and wont kill it?Literally, Matthew left the room and she jumped in there with Cypress.Azula is wasting no time making Poor Life Choices.
  12. 12. Desdemona wandered over to put the moves on Cypress, and she and Azula were passing him betweenthem for a while, before Matthew decided to come back in and stake his claim.Desdemona thinks Matthew is icky, so points to her there, but shes all up in Cypresss business, so sheloses all those points again.
  13. 13. Liv becomes the second official member of the Matthew Bradford Fan Club.
  14. 14. Poor Wally becomes the first casualty of the Dance Sphere.Hes a Pleasure Sim, so eventually this will come back to haunt him.
  15. 15. Cypress makes pancakes, which is just about the only time we will see an uncontrollable feedingthemselves or anyone else.
  16. 16. Cait also decides that Matthew is the bees knees.If youre keeping score, its Matthew 3, Cypress 1, Wally 0, Kestrel 0 best friends.
  17. 17. And this is why Cypress is pretty much done with pants for now. Hes Outgoing and Neat, which meanshell Primp rather than bathing, unless someone is green-fuming and its more inconvenient for them if hetakes a nice long bath.I wish I were kidding.I didnt actually throw his name into the Tinkerbell bucket, because Ive played Asylums with him in before,and hes fairly self-sufficient, but Lark said he was failtastic in one of hers, and as it turned out, hes stillfairly self-sufficient for me.
  18. 18. Matthew knocks up Cait next.This is the wee hours of Day 2, by the way.
  19. 19. Cypress and his tiny tiny man-panties become the next victims of the Dance Sphere.
  20. 20. Matthew puts the moves on Desdemona—right in front of Cait, no less—but she is not buying his line.
  21. 21. Wally becomes obsessed with Dingo, who cant even talk at this point.
  22. 22. Me: “Hey, Lark, Wally is so obsessed with the bird that hes almost starved himself to death.”Lark: “A DINGO KILLED MY WALLY.”
  23. 23. On his first day of work, Kest brought this lady, Jessica Picaso, home from work.Lark assures me shes horrible to everyone, which I found to be the case, as she did not have one singlepositive interaction with anyone in the house, ever.There are wiser choices to piss off than Cypress, though.
  24. 24. She just kept stalking him to beat him up. Eventually he got tired and wandered away.
  25. 25. So then she pissed off Wally, who is quite a bit nicer than Cypress.
  26. 26. Azula decides that the Wally/Jessica feud is taking too much focus, so she pops into her second trimester.
  27. 27. Oh, and shes also starving, because Dingo wont be happy until he kills everyone.
  28. 28. Jessica and Wally finally throw down, because Kest was too busy caffeinating to kick her out.
  29. 29. While everyones distracted by the fight, Olive takes the opportunity to sneak off to the photo booth.
  30. 30. And who should join her but Matthew Bradford?But HAH! Liv doesnt get pregnant... yet.
  31. 31. Desdemona, on the other hand, totally gets knocked up.
  32. 32. And Wally gets his butt kicked.Jessica Picaso was escorted to the door with extreme prejudice. She spent the next few days kicking thetrash can over and stealing the newspaper.
  33. 33. Dammit, Matthew, NO.You dont get ALL of them.
  34. 34. Cypress isnt worried that Matthew will steal Desdemona from him, hes whining because hes getting noAspiration.Dude. Youre a KNOWLEDGE SIM. Go SKILL SOMETHING.They dont. None of them skill. At all.
  35. 35. NOW Liv is pregnant.That makes 4 out of 4 female Sims who are pregnant. The Pregnancy For All hack is in, but all the boysrolled straight or bi (and promptly started flirting with the ladies), so at least I dont have to worry aboutWally getting pregnant too.
  36. 36. I have to assume that threats are involved.
  37. 37. Cait could fix herself food, but doesnt.At this point, I just stuffed Kests Inventory with gelatin, because he spent a few hours a day at work, andthe uncontrollables would rather die than feed themselves.
  38. 38. Cypress and Desdemona finally fall in love. And hey, at least she cant get MORE pregnant.
  39. 39. Azula goes into labor not long after, and Wally seems to realize whats coming.
  40. 40. Only one baby this time, a little girl named Toph.
  41. 41. Toph is immediately placed on the floor so Azula can go jump in the photobooth with Wally.She doesnt get pregnant again.Yet.
  42. 42. Kest, trying to deal with the situation, hands Toph to Liv.
  43. 43. Liv drops Toph off in the hallway, for what Im sure are a number of compelling reasons.
  44. 44. Kest goes and feeds her, because no one else is going to.
  45. 45. Sometimes Wally is on the ball and helps out with the babies. Other times, not.
  46. 46. And yes, babies plural, because its not long before Cait goes into labor too.Babydaddy Matthew is irritated that she interrupted his couch nap to have a baby.
  47. 47. The baby is Matthew Jr., because of course he would.
  48. 48. This is about how things to towards the end of week 1: two babies on the floor, one of them with a dirtydiaper, a bunch of people eating gelatin, Matthew stalking one of his babymamas, and someone trying tokill themselves with Dingo.
  49. 49. Cypress picked up MJ up off the floor, held him for a while, then put him back down and wandered off.Hes dressed because Wally was stinky and needed a shower, so clearly Cypress had to get there first.
  50. 50. Kest takes time out of working the phones to feed MJ.He has shown no signs of wanting to take anyone into the photobooth. This is probably wise.
  51. 51. Cait feeds Toph. Wins points for feeding a baby, loses points because its not her baby. So close!
  52. 52. NO, MATTHEW.
  53. 53. Desdemona rejected him, so he jumped back into the photobooth with Liv.
  54. 54. Desdemona, who is a terrible pregnant Sim, becomes the first plate-nap. At this point, her portrait wasTang, moving slowly to Tomato.I really thought she was going to die.
  55. 55. Nothing says “Asylum” quite like a plate-nap, gelatin, green-fuming, and mopping up a pee puddle.
  56. 56. Then Wally took a sponge bath, despite the shower being empty.
  57. 57. Matthew and Azula went at it again.However, Azula did NOT get pregnant.
  58. 58. You can see Wally down there on the right, taking a sponge bath, and the shower at the top middle istotally empty.Way to traumatize the children, Wally.
  59. 59. Even though Toph was older, MJ pooped first, so he got to grow up first.
  60. 60. He looks a LOT like Cait.
  61. 61. Wally handed Toph to Liv, and they both stood there staring at her for a while.
  62. 62. Then Liv put Toph down so she could pop.
  63. 63. Hungry MJ turned to the Automatic Toddler Feeder.
  64. 64. Several hours later, Kest was finally able to grow up Toph, who looks mostly like Matthew.Its sort of a weird situation, because normally when you have babies and toddlers in an Asylum, youWANT the Social Worker to show up and take them away. But with Kests LTW of 20 Best Friends, I WANTthem to stay in the house—two more captive Best Friends is nothing to sneeze at. So I cant just ignorethem—when I get the “your child is skin and bones” popup, I HAVE to make Kest drop what hes doing andfeed them, because he cant afford to have the Social Worker take them!By this point, Kest is BFFs with every adult in the house, plus at or close to Best Friend status with another5 people outside the household, and he knows enough outside people to meet his LTW. But he needsTIME to chat on the phone or invite them over, thats hard to come by when babysitting 9 Sims.
  65. 65. Desdemona goes into labor next.
  66. 66. And yup, passes the baby off to Cypress to have another baby.
  67. 67. MJ, meanwhile, begs Azula for some food that doesnt taste like Kibbles N Bits, and a diaper change.
  68. 68. And Toph didnt quite make it to the doggie bed for her nap.
  69. 69. Cypress dropped his baby so he could complain about the collective stench of Desdemona, Wally, and MJ.I named Cypress and Desdemonas daughters Helena and Hermia. Helena has black hair likeDesdemona, and Hermia is blonde like Cypress. Thats backwards from the play, but theyre crazy, what doyou expect?
  70. 70. Liv tries to figure out why she picked up the baby, while Matthew and Azula continue to ignore theiroffspring.
  71. 71. And Dingo lures in a new victim.Yes, Desdemona is still green-fuming.
  72. 72. MATTHEW PICKS UP HIS SON!Write that down on your calendars, yall!
  73. 73. He even gives MJ a bath AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS OWN HYGIENE.Who are you, and what have you done with Matthew Bradford?
  74. 74. Wally takes Toph for a bath, LIKE A BOSS.Yay Wally!
  75. 75. Liv pops again.
  76. 76. And then promptly passes out on the kitchen floor.I should mention that, although I dont have pictures of it, Liv and Cait HATE each other. Its like they knowwhat happened in Larks OWBC, and have managed to hold one heck of a grudge.Its not ACR-related, because there have been no boinging noises. They just DO NOT get along.
  77. 77. Azula manages to pick up HER OWN daughter, but cant figure out how to turn around 180* and get abottle from the fridge BEHIND her.So close, Azula. So close.
  78. 78. Kest still needs friends, and since he took care of MJ when he was a baby, the relationship is pretty high,so a little playing and theyre Besties.
  79. 79. Matthew takes the opportunity to knock Cait up again.He just looks sooooo proud of himself, doesnt he?
  80. 80. Somewhere down the line, Cypress became enemies with someone. I have no idea who.Kestrel is not amused.
  81. 81. It was time to grow up Cypress and Desdemonas twins. Helena pooped first, so she got the honors.
  82. 82. Desdemonas hair, but mostly Cypresss features.
  83. 83. MJ went outside to angrily chase lightning bugs. This is something I rarely see, since almost all of myhouses are on foundations.
  84. 84. In an effort to make another Bestie, Kest sat down with Toph to play.
  85. 85. After a snuggle, hed moved one step closer to his LTW. The question is if hed make it before Cait had herbabies—after all, isnt four plus however many Liv is carrying enough?
  86. 86. Clearly not, since Desdemona got pregnant by Cypress again.And she was so much fun the first time she was pregnant.
  87. 87. Kest finally went to grow up Hermia, but it was interrupted by Liv going into labor.At this point, Hermia is almost a day younger than her twin sister.
  88. 88. Liv only gives me one, though, a girl named Kalamata.
  89. 89. Cypress grabs Hermia and feeds her a bottle. She looks as surprised as I was.
  90. 90. My man Wally takes care of Kalamata.
  91. 91. Cypress even steps up and gives a stinky MJ a bottle. No dog food for you today!
  92. 92. After three or four tries, Kest grows Hermia up. Complete opposite of Helena: Cypresss coloring, butDesdemonas features.
  93. 93. Liv got mad at Wally for some reason. The poor guy cant catch a break.
  94. 94. Matthew was the next one to plate-nap.It was satisfying to see, not gonna lie.
  95. 95. Toph grew up badly, as Asylum children do, and got mad at Kest for it.
  96. 96. While I was busy watching Toph age up in the red, Wally knocked Azula up.On one hand, Im glad Wally finally got some, on the other hand, DAMMIT.
  97. 97. MJ grows up badly too, and doesnt look happy about it.
  98. 98. Cypress changes Hermias diaper. Its even his own daughter!
  99. 99. Wally finally fell off the Dance Sphere one too many times. Lampshade Dance time!
  100. 100. Seventeen friends down, and all Kest needs is for Helena to wake up so he can play with her. He wasalmost Best Friends with this Townie, so when she walked by, he invited her in for a date.
  101. 101. Almost two weeks in, and the poor guy finally gets his First Kiss.
  102. 102. Kest was trying to grow up Kalamata, but got interrupted by Cait going into labor again.
  103. 103. Cait and Matthew threw me triplets. Apparently that was too many babies for Family Sim Cait.Matthew thinks shes hot when shes having a nervous breakdown.The babies are two boys and a girl, Austen, Bradford, and Jane.Im reeeaaaallllly hoping that Kest can get the last couple of Besties he needs before Desdemona goesinto labor.
  104. 104. After several more misfires, Kest is able to grow Kalamata up. She favors Olive.
  105. 105. Poor guy. Three babies, and only one Kestrel.
  106. 106. Matthew is apparently crazy enough that hes playing with MJ!
  107. 107. “You want to take care of your daughter?”“Who the what now?”
  108. 108. They honestly have no idea how to feed themselves beyond drinking milk straight from the carton.
  109. 109. Cypress picked up Austen, who was hungry, and refused to stop fussing, and Cypress had no idea how tohandle that.
  110. 110. No one seems to realize that the triplets even exist. And Id rather have Kest push the last couple of friendsthan cater to their every need.
  111. 111. So, we have Wally and his lampshade, Liv and Cait and Toph and MJ eating gelatin, an extremelypregnant Desdemona ignoring three stinky babies, Cypress standing around in his tiny panties, Kest takingcare of Hermia so he can be Besties with her, and Helena sacked out on a doggie bed.Yup, totally normal.
  112. 112. Desdemona cant wait half a day to go into labor, and has another set of twins by Cypress. In a moment ofsanity, she passes the older one off to Kestrel, who I can at least have feed her before dropping her on thekitchen floor to marinate in her own stench.Two more girls for Cypress and Desdemona: Beatrice and Hero.
  113. 113. Pregnant Azula changed one of the triplets. I think Kest was astonished.He needed one more friend, and there was a nice little old lady who was close, but it was going to beanother day or so before that LTR was high enough, unless drastic measures were taken.
  114. 114. So, it was time for a quickie lawn date with the nice little old lady.
  115. 115. A few minutes later, and BOOM, Kest is Permaplat on Friday of week 2.
  116. 116. You can see the veritable pile of babies in the kitchen. Livs even holding one, although Im not sure sheknows what to do with it.
  117. 117. Heres what it looked like at the end. Yes, thats 18 Sims in the household. Ten kids born, six of them areMatthews with Azula, Cait, and Liv, and four are Cypress and Desdemonas.Starting at the top of the left column and going down, its Toph, Helena, Hermia, Kalamata, Austen,Beatrice, Bradford, Hero, and Jane. The other column is Azula, Cait, Cypress, Desdemona, Kestrel,Matthew, Liv, Wally, and Matthew Jr.I actually got lucky, and MJ and Toph aged up Wednesday night, so they only had two days of school,which meant they couldnt get a failing grade by the weekend, so I didnt have to worry about the SocialWorker. Im not sure what the actual score of the Asylum was, but I think we can agree that with 17uncontrollable Sims and no Social Worker visits and nobody dying despite their best efforts, I win!