Transcript of "DocNerd's Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths, Part 2"
DrSupremeNerds Home for Unrepentant Sociopaths: An Asylum ChallengePart 2: Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad HoodAsylum Challenge rules by SimScout: one playable Sim, seven uncontrollable Sims, $100 in the bank after building, supplieslimited in quality and quantity, no rewards of any kind. The challenge ends when the playable Sim reaches Permaplat.The Playable: SimNerd, my SimSelf. Knowledge Sim with the LTW to Max 7 Skills.The Inmates: Uranium Apocalypso (from EphemeralToast on boolprop.com/ephemeraltoast on the Exchanges Apocalypso-A-Go-Go); Gaius Caesar (from Blite27/Netsfn1427s Ten Caesars); Salahuddin Chamcha (from katrih83s Bookacy); CecilGoodytwoshoes (professorbutters/Loolooloo16plays Squeaky Clean Legacy); Kirstial Legacina (Orikes/orikes360s PseudoLegacy); Vee Semper (GintasticNecats Science of a Legacy); and Cypress Vetinari (DrSupremeNerds Vetinari Dualegacy).In an amusing twist, the Aspirations and (evil) personalities of the villainous inmates are intact.
SimNerd: "You know I have only two Mechanical points, right?"Its gotta be fixed sooner or later!SimNerd: "How bout later? When I have more Mechanical points."Cmon, the odds of you getting electrocuted are, like...
Salahuddin: "Oh, the humanity! ...Im suddenly hungry for some bacon..."SimNerd: "...Hate...you..."
Salahuddin: "What kind of fake Knowledge Sim are you, anyway? FEARING getting electrocuted! Hahahahaha! Loser!"SimNerd: "Actually, its from Losing a Skill Point. Hey, RealNerd? Smooth move, there, genius. You are aware the whole pointis to MAX all 7?"Salahuddin: "Hahahaha, youre the avatar of an idiot!"SimNerd: "If I didnt need to run to the bathroom so I could get there before Uranium does because I still have to go to workin an hour, I would so be giving you a piece of my mind."Salahuddin: "You might not want to give away too many pieces of your mind; you seem to be running short already."SimNerd: "HAAAATE."
Uranium: "Hey! I have to pee and that crispy-fried chick is using the toilet!"SimNerd: "PWND."
But Uraniums offering to the Potty God is further postponed by Kirstial....And either a wolf just came on the lot, or Kirstials getting Aspiration points for getting in a fight with Uranium.Kirstial actually won this one, although my game didnt want to pause so much, so theres no picture of Kirstials triumphanthand-dusting-off.
Uranium: "I only lost because I was distracted by my full bladder! It will not happen again, I assure you."Cypress: "MEEEE! I am awesome!"Aside from random hugs, he brags about himself CONSTANTLY. He and Cecil pretty much only dream about themselves.And when hes bragging, what does he brag about?
Yeah. No idea why. He pulled this with Cecil last chapter, and it was weird then, and its still weird now. Course, he wascreated as an Adult, so hes got that stupid Mystery Sim memory panel spam that I am too lazy to get rid of, and I guessthats his only noteworthy accomplishment.Yay Cypress! Youre exactly like every other CASd Adult Sim ever! Woooo!Think Im kidding about the size of his ego or his favorite topic?
Nope. He literally turned 90* from Kirstial to Salahuddin and started all over again.But a momentous event is happening elsewhere!
Its the first green-fume of the Asylum!Kirstial: "PWND!"Uranium: "You people need to stop saying that."
Salahuddin: "So I hear theres some sort of spatula trick. Could you tell me more?"Uranium: "I could show you. But were going to need a double bed, a chicken hat, and a sexy lamp."Salahuddin: "And suddenly, Im not that curious."
Gaius: "Time for another delicious salad! Yum yum!"This guy is seriously the worst Grilled Cheese Sim ever. He never makes himself grilled cheese! ARGH GAIUS. You could sobe keeping yourself platinum! He doesnt even talk to anyone about grilled cheese!
Cypress: "You know whats even better than chick fight? Chick fight IN UNDERWEAR! This is just like a beer commercial--uh,JUICE, I mean, JUICE commercial."
Cypress: "Ah, if only there were a slow-motion button for life..."
Uranium: "Hello, fellow Potty Worshipper!"Cypress: "Honestly, Im not a Potty Worshipper. Just your regular, garden-variety neat freak."Uranium: "I require a celebratory grope."Cypress: "Icky."Uranium: "That was not a question."Cypress: "Im usually the one saying that."
Cypress: "Just keep the hands above the waist, mmmkay?"
Cecil: "This is beginning to become tiresome."Gaius: "Only if you dont like to watch scantily-clad women slapping each other."Cypress: "I knew there was a reason I liked you."Vee: "Time to grab a cup of coffee and spend all day at the piano!"
Cecil: *biff*Kirstial: *SLAP*Cypress: "If I act quickly, I can clean all the counters!"
Cypress: "I guess you could say that, although Id much rather focus my efforts on Eeevil."
Kirstial: "I have stolen the piano from Vee! And I do not appear to be rolling any generic Gain a Skill Point Wants!"
SimNerd: "Cecil broke the shower."I know.SimNerd: "Hell clean up the puddles, but he wont fix the problem?"Nope. And you need the skill points anyway.SimNerd: "Hes poking me with the mop."
Cecil: "Ms. Semper, perhaps you have heard of the concept of personal space?"Vee: "Heard of it. Choose to ignore it."
Salahuddin: "Im hungry! I think Im going to go to the bathroom and then go to sleep."Cypress: "That doesnt seem to make a lot of sense."Salahuddin: "Do not question the wisdom of Salahuddin Chamcha!"Cypress: "...Oh, nertz--were getting dumber, arent we?"
Cypress: "Im so platinum right now."Vee: "MONEYYYYYY!"Cypress: "Sucka!"
Kirstial: "I know theres a plate of freshly-cooked hamburgers over there on that counter, but I just HAD to cook this green-fuming, fly-covered omelet that no one cleaned up after breakfast!"Kirstial is the worst Knowledge Sim I have had since Rhea Vetinari.
Kirstial: "Awwww... Now its a CRISPY, green-fuming, fly-covered omelet."
Kirstial: "Whoa! Did I do that?"Vee: "Fire! Fire! Fire! Everyone give your money to me for safekeeping!"Uranium: "WHERE ARE THE SEXY FIREMEN?"Cecil: "This hamburger really is quite delicious. My compliments to the chef."SimNerd: "If this place burns down, Im done, right?"
SimNerd: "Goodbye, gold Aspiration. I will miss you."
Fireman: "Asylum, eh?"SimNerd: "Uh-huh."Fireman: "Ill keep the engine warmed up for you."SimNerd: "Yeah, thats probably a good idea."Notice how the guys show up AFTER the fireman arrives and the fire is under control. Yeah, very chivalrous, Cecil and Gaius.Must be a family thing. Cypress was busy skilling himself into Aspiration points on the piano, and Salahuddin was starving inbed.
SimNerd: "Mmm, nummy. Burnt, green-fuming, fly-covered omelet, green-fuming Legacy villains, and hamburgers. Yumyum."Vee: "Resorting to sarcasm?"SimNerd: "Any port in a storm."
Uranium: "Who is PWND now, smelly human?"SimNerd: "You know what? I sort of deserved that."
Gaius: "Oh, look, hamburgers! No need for me to eat that burnt, green-fuming, fly-covered omelet! I dont even need to cookmyself any grilled cheese!"
Uranium: "That is what you get for starting fires and making everyone smell bad! The Potty God is displeased!"
Kirstial: "URANIUM HATE."Uranium: "Kirstial smells bad--HATE."Vee: "Whoo, Kirstials a bit whiffy!"
Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like Asylum (sung to the tune of Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas)Its beginning to look a lot like AsylumEverywhere you goTake a look near the window there, fightings in the airWith big dust clouds and stinky fumes ablow
Its beginning to look a lot like AsylumWhines at every turnBut the funniest sight to see is the whining that will beOnce that omelet burns
A brand new lightbulb hat and a big golden book thatIs the wish of one SimNerdExpensive bars and shiny fast carsIs the hope of Cecil and VeeAnd Cypress and Gaius can hardly wait for the fighting to start again
Its beginning to look a lot like AsylumEverywhere you goTheres a guy in his manties whom the crazy alien fanciesAnd the SimNerd doesnt want to know
Its beginning to look a lot like AsylumAnd there is no willTo make Aspiration Failure stop, so yall just let SimNerd plopDown on that couch and skillThis is monster point 14, by the way.*sobs*
SimNerd: "I smell bad!"Vee: "I smell bad too!"SimNerd: "And freaking Cecil wont get out of the bathtub!"Think Im joking?
Nope!Gaius: "I smell bad. I want a shower."Cecil: "We are all evil in our own way, no?"
SimNerd: "Shower. Now. Make Cecil get out of the tub!"Cant. But I CAN have you Call Over Cecil and Gaius and then you can run to the bathroom andyoull beat Vee there.That totally works, by the way.
Uranium: "You should feel extremely lucky that I do not have access to a spatula. And a chicken hat."Vee: zzzzzzzzsyruppyzzzzzzzzFirst plate-nap of the Asylum! It was followed up by another first...
Gaius: "I got tired of waiting for the shower."
Cecil: "I require money. Or a bar costing at least $1000. Or a painting costing at least $1000. Or a statue costing at least$5000. Or something else wildly expensive and completely unnecessary."Cypress: "Hey, Ive got loads of Aspiration points! Id lend you some, but, meh. I played the piano through the whole fire, and Ididnt take a hit from it! I just dropped out of Platinum a few minutes ago."Cecil: "No one likes a braggart, Mr. Vetinari."Cypress: "Boy, are you ever in the wrong place for that."
And we have our first Best Friends of the Asylum--Kirstial and Cecil!...Thats sort of an odd pairing.Had to be somebody, I guess, and it sure as hell wasnt gonna be Kirstial and Uranium!
Cypress: "Lalalalala, platinum plumbbob, lalalalalaaaaa..."Note: I took this shot in CameraMan Mode, space-barring over from SimNerd. No looking at his anything panel!
SimNerd: "So, whatcha reading?"Gaius: "Man Maid Lust. Uranium said it was good."SimNerd: "Is there a great recipe for a turkey and Havarti sandwich with Fuji apples on page 47 or something?"Gaius: "...Its a romance novel. No recipes."SimNerd: "Just wondering."
SimNerd: "Why are you making me do this the hard way?"Three points, then yoga. This is faster than watching you fall off the Dance Sphere eleventybillion times to get three Body.SimNerd: "But this is the smelly way!"Speed more important than smelliness!
Aaawwwwww--proof that religious differences can be hashed out over chess-cheating in a nuthouse!
Cecil: "I need something expensive and useless!"
Cypress: "What kind of idiot could be verging on Aspiration Failure in an Asylum with all this great skilling equipment?"
SimNerd: "You were right about the Working Out."
Kirstial makes more best friends!She has no nice points, and yet shes best friends with more people than anyone else. Too bad they dont count towardsSimNerds friends-for-promotions!
Kirstial finally gets some Aspiration points from skilling. Probably puts her out of danger for the time being.
Cypress makes best friends with either Salahuddin or himself. With Cypress, you never know.
Id like to introduce Salahuddin Chamcha: Glutton for Punishment.
Cypress has Checked himself Out six times in a row. Either hes trying to get his hygiene up, or his ego is totally out ofcontrol. With him, its hard to tell.Vidcund Curious came by, took one look at Cypress standing on the sidewalk in his skull underpants picking food out of histeeth, and beat a hasty retreat.
Uranium makes her second best friend. Seeing as how their entire relationship is predicated on him letting her punch theeverloving crap out of him, it may be inferred that Salahuddin has a bit of a masochistic streak.
Yes, Gaius, pull money out of air and feed the kitty!
Kirstial: "Whats your trauma?"Cecil: "I require money!"Kirstial: "Why dont you just skill yourself into happiness!"Cecil: "WAAAAHHH!"
This is a sequence I like to call "The Attempted Murder of Vee Semper."Cypress: "Im platinum!"Vee: "WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Vee: "MONEY!"Gaius: "GRILLED CHEESE!"Cypress: "Wow, you guys sure are nuts!"
Vee: "Im starving!"Cypress: "Vee smells bad!"Gaius: "Vees bodily odor is offensive to the Emperor!"
Vee: "Staaarrrrviiiiiing..."Gaius: "Lets chat about how miserable we are!"Vee: "Yeah, okay! You wanna talk about Grilled Cheese?"
Vee: "STARVING!"Cypress: "Im a genius, seriously. Shes totally gonna starve to death!"Gaius: "Oh, death--how Ive missed causing you."Cypress: "Couldnt do it without you, buddy."Gaius: "Youre just saying that because my nine nice points predispose me towards chatting and hugs."
Gaius: "Oh, itll be all right, Vee! Im sure sacks of money will fall from the sky any time now!"Cypress: "Vee smells!"Vee: "STARVING."
Cypress: "Lets Chat! And then hug! And then Chat some more!"Vee: "SERIOUSLY STARVING."I finally had to wake up SimNerd and have her Serve Instant Meal and Call to Meal Household because Cypress and Gaiuswould NOT let her leave the bathroom. They were seriously trying to kill her. And you know Cypress was the mastermindbehind that little plan, because Gaius is an idiot.
And it looks like I took a picture for the end of this one!Uraniums up 6-1 over Kirstial.
Gaius gets Aspiration points!...For cooking a salad...*headdesk*
Cecil: *snifflesniffleSOB*Uranium: "So far, Im the only non-Knowledge Sim whos NOT spending a fair portion of the day sobbing about my Aspiration!You humans really are weak."Cecil: "WAAAAAH!"
Kirstials been walking around green-fuming for a while. She finally broke down and took a sponge-bath.
SimNerd pretty desperately needed a friend for a promotion.SimNerd: "You might wanna stay out of Uraniums way."Sally: "I can take her."SimNerd: "Oh, you really, really cant."
SimNerd: "Larch! Your sole purpose here is to make friends with me or some of the crazy people!"Larch: "You set my gender preference. Mrrrrow."SimNerd: "Yeah, well, I didnt want you to end up heart-farting your brother before I get a chance to go into SimPE and makeyou related."
Larch: "You stuck your own SimSelf in an Asylum with seven crazy Legacy Sims, including Cypress? Thats hilarious!"SimNerd: "Hahahahaha! ...Yeah, thats not really funny."
Vee: "Money..."Larch: "Whats the purple-haired chicks deal?"SimNerd: "Thats Vee. Shes a Fortune Sim who cant make any money and I cant buy any expensive crap."Larch: "Whoa. Bummer."
Gaius: "I need cheese..."Uranium: "You know, I havent had any WooHoo since Ive been here, and you dont hear me complaining! ...Well, you hearme complaining, but at least Im not freaking out."
Larch: "Meeeee!"Vee: "This is waaay more annoying than when your brother does it."
Vee: POKEThis is not the best idea Vee ever had. I cheated Larch a bunch of skill points.
And also Larch is just as cranky as anyone else in the house. Dont mess with the Eeevil Family Sim, folks. He delivers tehhurt.
Larch: "Woo! Hat guy! Love the creepy beard!"Salahuddin: "Thanks, I think."Vee: "Money shrub?"
After spending an entertaining half an hour staring out the window at the shrubbery, Vee decides to see exactly what Uraniumfinds so amusing about beating the tar out of Salahuddin.
Cypress: "Mehehehehe. Ten bucks says he wakes up, pees himself, cries because hes peed himself, and then criesbecause we dont have an expensive bar."
Uranium would like to fulfill Sallys death wish.
Lets all say goodnight to Sally, everyone! Buh-bye now, Sally!
I love pictures like this.And no, I dont know why Uranium is getting Aspiration points for gaining Logic skill.
Cecil did not actually pee himself. He made it to the toilet, but that didnt help his hygiene. And now he gets to cry because hepassed out in his dinner.
Oh my gosh! Its a miracle!GAIUS IS SERVING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES!Alert the media!
Course, he served up one plate, then dropped the platter on the ground and ran off to the bedroom to Relax and Daydream.ARGH GAIUS. YOU WERE SO CLOSE, YOU MORON.
FINALLY.Gaius: "I dont know what the big deal is."
Kirstial: "Yeah, so I totally kicked your ass that one time. You were all like, I gotta pee! and I was all like, Ill beat it out ofyou! and then I did! That was great! Almost as good as the heartless murder of innocents!"Uranium: zzzzzzzzzYouresogoingdownwhenIwakeupzzzzzzzzz
Cecil! You couldnt have waited half an hour for SimNerd to get home from work?Kirstial: "Well, I wont be seeing THOSE Aspiration points again."Cecil: "Sadly, neither will I."And thats where Ill be leaving you today. Will SimNerd get home in enough time to save the evil and largely murderouspatients? Will the kitchen be saved from total destruction? Whom does the fire catapult into Aspiration Failure?Part 3 coming soon to an Exchange near you!Thanks to EphemeralToast, Blite27, katrih83, professorbutters, Orikes, and GintasticNecat for creating such greatcharacters, and for letting me torture them. Thumbs up, yall!